Chapter Text
When Shane came out of the hotel room's bathroom, Hayden was on the bed, back against the backboard and ankles crossed, laughing to himself. His chest was silently quaking as he tried not to laugh out loud.
"What's up?" Shane asked, grabbing his own phone to check to see if he had any messages from 'Lily.'
"Oh my God. One of my buddies sent me this super-thread of this person's Reddit posts and replies. They're ALL about you."
Shane groaned. "Please do not tell me." He stayed away from social media at all costs. In fact, whenever there was something he was required to repost, his mother did it for him.
Hayden wiped a tear out of his eye. "Oh come on. These are great. "Let me read you one."
"No."
"Ok. Here's one called HOLLANDER IS BORING AND YOU SHOULD NOT WASTE TIME WITH HIM"
"I don't care, Hayden."
Hayden continued reading as if Shane hadn't said a word.
"It's a picture from the draft and you look awkward as hell." He grinned, flashing the phone at his friend.
"'Look at him. He is not a psychopath because he is too boring to be a psychopath. Look at him dying, but he is too boring to die properly and just looks a little uncomfortable. That is professionalism. Not dying when you want to die in public. Being professional is boring. He is boring. You should like better people and have better taste. Even stupid Scott Hunter is more interesting even if he is a hundred years old and looks like he will die at any moment.'"
Hayden started laughing out loud this time.
Shane's eyes narrowed. "Let me see that." He ripped the phone out of Hayden's hand. "Why are they saying I'm a psychopath? Boring?" He knew of only one person who called him boring. Or talked about Scott Hunter like that. Thrusting the phone back at Hayden, he shook his head. "No. I don't want to know."
"Ok, ok, ok. So over in a Rozanov Subreddit, someone started comparing your advertisements to his. And then it spilled over into one of the forums about you. Anyways, this person followed the whole argument and keeps saying you're sexy but boring and have all these flaws. I can't figure out if they're defending you or they just want to be annoying to everyone on Reddit. I loved it when they started talking about how you don't smolder, you have resting bitch face. Anyways, they're totally hysterical."
"Smolder?" Then Shane caught himself. "I said I didn't care." He checked his phone. There was one text. From Hayden. "What the hell is this?"
"The thread about you being a psychopath."
"Jesus." Shane didn't open it. "You are chronically online. Quit reading this stuff before it rots BOTH of our brains."
"OH it's so funny, though. About how you probably want to meet Rozanov in a dark alley and do him in or something. That one was pretty good. But then they started saying you were autistic and shit. That part wasn't as good until someone asked if it's ethical to ogle someone who's autistic."
"I'm not autistic," Shane protested.
"Shut up, yes you are," Hayden replied quickly, like it were common knowledge. "Anyways, DogzDogz_Dogz, the person who's been half-defending you jumps in and says, and I quote, "It is ethical to ogle hot people? Yes. Maybe it is unethical to not ogle autistic people when they are hot? Did you ever think of that?" Hayden snorted. "Oh my God. I think they're crushing hard on you and won't even admit it to themselves, whoever they are. I can't tell if it's a guy or a girl."
Shane sat down heavily on the bed. "This is why I stay off the socials." It was much easier to deal with people obsessing over him in the theoretical than in the here and now. Yeah, he knew he was good-looking. He wouldn't have gotten Rolex or some of those other campaigns if he weren't. But thinking about people actually "ogling" him was weird and he didn't like to do it.
"Bud, I have no idea how you manage to completely avoid reading about yourself."
"It's very easy. I just don't have the apps on my phone."
"Because you're a weirdo. Come on. Everyone Googles themselves now and again."
"Gross."
"Fuck you. You've never searched for yourself online?"
Shane shrugged. "I honestly haven't."
"Like I said--weirdo. Everyone's done it. Did you know there're a whole bunch of Twitter folks who're completely dedicated to the idea that you and I are fucking?"
"Again--Gross. I wouldn't fuck you even if it were the only way to save the human race."
Hayden rolled his eyes. "I'd fuck you to save humanity. But nothing less."
"How magnanimous of you," Shane said dryly.
"How what of me? Anyways, so this person keeps saying you're hot. And they're fighting with everyone on like every thread. They tell one guy that fishing is not a personality trait. Then tells this racist asshole to rethink his life before his wife runs off with the fishing guy. Just like classic shit. I wanna meet this person and shake their hand, really."
Shane pinched the bridge of my nose. "So you think it's funny that people are being racist and calling me autistic and a psychopath and shit?"
"You ARE autistic," Hayden reiterated. "The racist shit isn't funny. The psychopath stuff is a little funny, especially when they start talking about you murdering Rozanov. Cos that is a good time, right there."
"I'm not murdering Rozanov." He'd only joked about it. Once.
"Never said you were, bud. They're just joking about it. And THAT is funny."
"We both have vastly different interpretations of what is funny."
"That's because you haven't read all the posts and threads. There're thirteen. THIRTEEN separate posts and they are ALL locked.
Groaning again, Shane flopped onto his stomach and started flipping through his phone, trying to let Hayden know he was done with the conversation.
And Hayden let it go.
For all of three minutes.
"Are you mad I called you autistic?"
"No, Hayden. I'm not mad. I'm just annoyed. I do a really good job avoiding what people say about me, and you just gave me the short version: that I'm a sexy but autistic psychopath. Oh yeah, and racism still exists. Somehow I'd managed to forget for fifteen minutes."
Hayden didn't say anything for a long moment. There was some rustling behind Shane, and then Hayden sat down on the bed beside him. "Sorry--I shouldn't have done it. I didn't realize it would both you so much."
Shane sighed and rolled over, then sat up to face Hayden. "People are fickle, man. They love you when you're up and they'll kick you when you're down. And the racism is so thick you can cut it with a knife most of the time. I can't think about that. It's a huge distraction. So I just avoid it all together. It's for the best."
"Ok. Sorry I brought it up, then." Hayden's shoulder rammed into his. "Are we ok?"
"Yeah. Just... I'd prefer if you didn't bring that stuff up, ok?"
"Even if I find out the identity of your mystery defender?"
Shane smiled. "ESPECIALLY if you do."
***
Shane did stay off the socials. It was just better for him mentally. He didn't need anything to shake his focus. Not that he wasn't dogged most of the time anyway, but he didn't need the distraction.
But now it was midnight. Hayden was asleep, and he had downloaded and was now on Reddit on his phone, reading idiotic posts about his ads. He didn't need the flattery, either, if truth were to be told. He only cared about his performance, not that other stuff that his mom and his agent felt "boosted his profile." He didn't care about opinions of him that weren't about his performance, and he only cared about them from a very select few.
He got enough casual (and less casual) racism in real life, he didn't need to subject himself to it online. The psychopath thing was new. As was the autism thing. But he definitely wasn't a psychopath. He was less certain about the autism thing but only because Hayden had been so fucking certain. He'd unpack all of that later.
The detractors it was easy to ignore. The thing he felt super-weird about was the people who felt the need to protect him, like he was fragile or something. The term "innocent cinnamon roll" and the idea of "protecting him at all costs" came up multiple times. He really fucking didn't like that.
And the people who felt like he lacked agency or shouldn't be allowed to fuck (or something--some of their arguments weren't exactly cogent) could just fuck off into the sun. He did what he wanted. No matter how dodgy the actual decision was or how terrible the idea--he did what he wanted.
He found himself reading HUNDREDS of replies from DogzDogz_Dogz, defending and insulting him in the same sentence. And the more he read, the more it sounded like Rozanov. the occasional missed article, the wording choices. The things he casually insulted Shane for.
Rozanov thought he was the hottest guy in the league? Possibly the hottest guy in professional sports? Shane assumed Rozanov would only think that about himself.
He had to smile to himself.
And Rozanov had spent HOURS and HUNDREDS of comments defending him. Not just from the racists and the people who thought autism made him unfuckable by saying even if he was autistic, it didn't matter, Shane was still highly fuckable, and people who thought it did were stupid.
Shane didn't know what to make of it, frankly. It was a little... touching? Was anything that Rozanov did touching?
But he felt like he should do something to show he appreciated the effort.
He thought about sending a text or something. But that'd be... weird. He'd be saying he red all those hundreds of comments. And while he was touched... the idea of admitting it to Rozanov was... uncomfortable. Their relationship just wasn't like that. And he felt like letting Rozanov know he knew would be the quickest way to get Rozanov to stop talking to him for six months.
So he made a fake account. It took him forever to come up with a username, and the one he came up with was pretty lame, but it was what he had.
He opened a new DM screen and tried to think of what to say. Something that wouldn't give him away. He couldn't express TOO much gratitude. But he did want to say something nice.
CatzCatz_Catz
Hi, saw your (hundreds) of downvotes and just wanted to say I think it's pretty cool that you took on like all of Reddit's hockey fans. Even the pro Hollander people were pretty lame. No need to reply. Stay cool. --Catz
He sent that off and shut everything down for the night. He noticed it was nearly four in the morning and almost swore out-loud, but managed to hold it in.
***
When he sat up, preparing to get out of bed, he groaned as his head protested. Staying up till four was not wise. He didn't do that sort of thing, so he wasn't especially good at hiding it.
Hayden laughed as soon as he rolled over. "You look like shit."
"I didn't sleep well," he lied. Those three hours he had gotten were damned amazing. Too bad he hadn't gotten more.
"Well, let me have the bathroom first and you can spend some time getting your shit together." Hayden was grinning.
Shane rubbed the sleep out of the corner of his eyes. "That's my line."
"How fast can you get ready? Maybe you can get another half hour or something?"
Shane thought about it. Speeding through his routine would throw everything off. But if Hayden was taking the bathroom first, it was already off. "You know what? Sure." He pulled the covers back and got back into bed.
Just as he was dropping back off, his phone lit up with an alert. From Reddit.
DogzDogz_Dogz
I try to be as cool as possible as often as possible.
Shane laughed out loud. It was definitely Rozanov.
He should have left it go. He'd said what he'd intended to say. But for some reason he hit reply.
CatzCatz_Catz
Mission accomplished.
DogzDogz_Dogz
Hollander fan?
CatzCatz_Catz
I don't hate him.
DogzDogz_Dogz
You have mediocre taste.
Unable to hold back another laugh, it clipped out of him. He hoped he wasn't loud enough for Hayden to hear in the bathroom with the water running.
CatzCatz_Catz
You spent days defending him and you're going to tell me that?
DogzDogz_Dogz
I said he was boring, has bad form and makes stupid faces when he scores.
CatzCatz_Catz
You defended his hotness and dunked on racists and ableists which isn't nothing.
DogzDogz_Dogz
If people are going to shit on him they should be accurate about it.
CatzCatz_Catz
Fair. His backhand is fine, though.
DogzDogz_Dogz
It is not.
CatzCatz_Catz
Agree to disagree, I guess.
DogzDogz_Dogz
I cannot do that.
"I thought you were going back to sleep."
Shane swiped out of Reddit and glanced over at Hayden who was half-dressed. "I got distracted."
Hayden chuckled. "Lily text you or something?"
A tired smile spread across his face. "Something like that." He should just stop anyways.
But as soon as Hayden had his back turned, Shane was typing again.
CatzCatz_Catz
You have a lot of opinions about Hollander. What about other players? And don't say Hunter. We know your thoughts on him. What about, say, Rozanov?
He had to work hard not to giggle.
Hayden pulled on a shirt. "So what're you two talking about? Must be something good. You've got the Lily smile."
Did he have a Lily smile? That was terrible. He'd have to watch for that in the future.
"Just the usual."
Hayden rolled his eyes. "Right, dude. You know, you CAN talk about her."
"It's just private," Shane said as he sat up again, preparing to get out of bed. He was still exhausted, but he felt much more awake.
"It's always private. Jesus. I'm your friend. You can tell me shit."
Shane ran a hand through his hair. "I know. It's just..."
"Private?" Hayden answered, still a little annoyed.
"Yeah. Lily wants this on the down-low. That's all."
Hayden gestured with the socks in his hand. "So low you can't tell your best friend?"
"There's nothing to tell. It's casual, and we're both fine with keeping it to ourselves. That's all. It's nothing personal."
Hayden made a face of distaste.
"What? You obviously have something on your mind." And NOT asking Hayden's opinion on something had NEVER stopped Hayden from giving it. So they might as well get this over-with.
"Just... go after her."
"I can't."
"WHY? You light up every time you're talking to her."
How did Shane explain this in a way that ended the conversation. "It's by mutual agreement, Hayden."
Hayden sighed. "Fine. But I think it's a stupid agreement and that you're an idiot for not making it more."
Getting out of bed, Shane rubbed the back of his neck and grabbed his phone. "Your thoughts are duly noted."
Hayden went back to finishing getting dressed and Shane took himself off to the bathroom, phone in hand. Before he took care of business, he looked down for another alert but didn't find one. Maybe Rozanov was done with that line of conversation for now.
It was for the best. He really shouldn't get into...whatever kind of conversation they were having with Rozanov. Especially without him knowing it was Shane. That was kind of underhanded.
***
DogzDogz_Dogz
Better than Hollander. Asshole, though.
CatzCatz_Catz
Definitely an asshole. But I don't think stats are everything. Especially when the race is that close.
DogzDogz_Dogz
Even if Hollander was leading he would still be worse.
CatzCatz_Catz
He was leading this time last year. Leading is leading.
DogzDogz_Dogz
We've found the Hollander fanboy! (Fangirl?)
CatzCatz_Catz
I'm just saying that multiple years worth of statistics prove Hollander is not worse than Rozanov.
DogzDogz_Dogz
If he was better, he'd be in the lead. Also he would not make the stupid face when he scores.
CatzCatz_Catz
What stupid face?
DogzDogz_Dogz
Like he's dumping his load.
CatzCatz_Catz
He does not look like that when he scores.
DogzDogz_Dogz
img.jpg
CatzCatz_Catz
Ok. I will never unsee that. Do I thank you or curse you?
DogzDogz_Dogz
Thank me of course. I saved you a lot of time fanboying (fangirling?) the second best player.
CatzCatz_Catz
Who do you suggest I move on to?
DogzDogz_Dogz
Anybody else.
CatzCatz_Catz
Just go ahead and say Rozanov.
DogzDogz_Dogz
You said it, not me.
CatzCatz_Catz
You said he was an asshole. Now I'm supposed to just kiss his ass and wear his jersey?
DogzDogz_Dogz
Yes.
Shane smirked while he was drinking his coffee and almost spit it out.
"Get your head out of your phone," J.J. begged.
"He's talking to Lilly," Hayden sing-songed.
J.J. grabbed his phone and pulled it down. "This asshole is on Reddit! You talk to your girlfriend on Reddit?"
Shane tried to snatch the phone back, but J.J. glanced down at the screen. "Oh my God. He is talking to the Dogz person!"
Before he could get the phone back, Hayden had grabbed it. "Is Lily the Dogz person? Did she beat up half of Reddit for you?"
Shane did manage to snatch it off of Hayden before Hayden could see him talking about himself in the third person.
"Guys, fucking hell. Just... leave me alone."
Hayden smirked, but didn't respond. J.J. shook his head. "You two are very weird."
Shane locked the screen and held the phone against his chest protectively. "It's fine. We're fine. Everything's fine."
"You do not sound fine," J.J. said. "You sound... weird. And stressed."
"That's because he's stuck," Hayden said with a bit of a sigh. "He's never going to go after her and they're going to keep playing games forever. He said so this morning."
Shane frowned. "Honestly, our arrangement isn't anyone's business."
J.J. turned up his nose at his friend. "Fine. Be weird with your girlfriend on Reddit, I guess."
"Lily isn't my girlfriend." It almost sounded pleading, though. He was that desperate to change the subject. "Come on. Let's just eat? We have to get out of here soon."
"Ok, sure," J.J. said. "But she should be."
"Damned right," Hayden agreed around a mouthful of food.
TO BE CONTINUED...