Archive of Our Own

It had been a few months since Buck started fostering Theo, and, if anyone were to ask, Buck would say it was going great. In fact, Eddie had asked, repeatedly, and Buck had told him that it was, well, great. Eddie didn’t doubt this, of course, he’d seen how amazing Buck had been with Christopher for the past nine or so years, so he knew he’d naturally step into the fatherly role for Theo. 

Needless to say, it wasn’t that Eddie was worried about Buck’s ability to be a dad to Theo, he was just worried about Buck. 

He spent a lot of time worrying about Buck, but that wasn’t the issue here. 

Buck’s shifts lately had been shorter, as Chimney had been supportive enough to accommodate to his new schedule, so Eddie hadn’t been able to keep an eye on him as much as he wanted to (well, as much as he used to during their much longer shifts), but it didn’t stop him from noticing how exhausted he’d been lately, or how distracted he’d seemed at the station, finding endless random tasks to do but still not focusing on them in the way he typically would. 

Today’s shift was no different. For the past few hours, on a surprisingly calm day, Buck had been bouncing between the kitchen, the locker room, the laundry room, and the supply closet, doing God-knows-what. Eventually, Eddie grew restless just watching him and so he managed to catch him spraying glass polish on the… metal lockers.

“Hey Buck… you doing okay bud?” He started, slowly removing the glass polish from Buck’s grip and leaning against the overly-clean lockers. 

For a split-second, so short that only Eddie could catch it, his facade dropped, but, in true Evan Buckley fashion, he tried to play it off.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He shrugged, his hands twisting together nervously.

Eddie squinted at his best friend, “Buck.”

Buck tried to leave the locker room, but Eddie blocked his path.

“Eddie.” Buck shuffled from side to side, trying to get around him.

“Buck.” Eddie still wouldn’t budge. 

The two stood motionless for a considerable amount of time, both too stubborn to move, until Buck finally caved, not even needing to ask Eddie what he was so worried about, having always read him well enough to already know. 

“I don’t think I have the right to be Theo’s father, or, anyone’s, for that matter,” He confessed, sinking down onto the bench as the words spilled from his mouth against his will.

Eddie faltered for a moment, the admission almost too absurd to register in his brain. Buck? Not having the right to be a father? It was insane. It was so insane that Eddie would’ve thought he was joking had it not been for the anxious look on his face.

“What are you talking about?” Eddie finally spoke up, still not moving from his spot in the doorway, although he did quickly close it so that nobody could listen in on their conversation, whether on purpose or by accident. 

Buck ran his hands over his face, unwilling to make eye contact.

Taking a deep breath, he continued on, “I’ve never done this before, Eddie! And I don’t exactly have the best role models to look up to. Not to mention the whole drug-”

“Stop,” Eddie put an end to that line of thought, “Jesus Christ, Buck. I need you to listen to me. The things you went through after facing an unimaginable trauma- physically and mentally- do not define you, okay? I know you, I know how you’ve been thinking of yourself since everything happened, but you got better. That’s what matters. You reached out for help, you put in the effort, and you got better.”

Buck finally looked up, “But what if it happens again?”

This broke Eddie, “Then we’ll all be there for you again. And we’ll help with Theo. Always,” When he met Buck’s eyes, there were tears in them, “Oh, Buck…”

“I’m fine. I just- I don’t know how to do this,” Buck frantically wiped at his eyes.

Eddie waved off someone heading towards the locker room as he took a seat next to his friend, knocking their knees together briefly, “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’ve been doing it for years.”

Buck froze, “What?”

“I mean, you’ve basically been like a dad to Chris since you introduced me to Carla.”

“Wh- Eddie- That was years ago.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, “Exactly.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Buck, you’re in my will.”

For some reason, this seemed to confuse him, which, in turn, confused Eddie, because he’d told him about the whole thing with the will years ago. 

Pretty quickly, however, Buck cleared up that confusion.

“Still?” He questioned, “Even after New Mexico? Well, the aftermath of it.”

Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. There was no way Buck seriously thought, after everything that they’ve been through, that he’d removed him from his will because of a mental health crisis. Honestly, Eddie couldn’t think of anything that would make him change that part of his will, and the thought of it made him feel uneasy. He couldn’t imagine anyone else ever raising Chris, and the fact that Buck couldn’t see that was unacceptable.

“You really think I’d change it? For something that wasn’t even your fault?” Eddie’s voice was gentle, an attempt to calm Buck down from whatever spiralling he knew must be happening in his brain.

“Well I wasn’t exactly the best person to be around.”

Eddie shook his head, “And yet, through all of that, you were never high around Chris. You didn’t even let us in the house once because you’d been using. That’s just the kind of person you are, you’ve always put him before yourself. And there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re currently putting Theo before yourself,” He steered the conversation back to their original point, which Buck instantly tensed up at.

“Eddie, I can’t- I don’t want to talk about this right now,” He shifted uncomfortably.

“Why?”

“Because it’s not something you can fix!”

Eddie shrugged, “So? Doesn’t mean I can’t give you a shoulder to lean on.”

Buck cracked a small smile before taking a deep breath, “They want me to be married. The adoption agency.”

“They- what?”

Eddie went from being confused and concerned to irritated in a matter of seconds. The idea that Buck wouldn’t be enough on his own was honestly-

“Okay, I don’t need to be,” Buck seemed to read his mind, “They just said it would make things a lot easier, single firefighters aren’t exactly favourable for a stable, reliable father figure, which I guess makes sense. I can still adopt him, it’ll just be more complicated, but I kind of just have to accept that because it’s not like I have anyone to even marry-”

“I’ll marry you.”

Evidently, Eddie’s mouth was moving a lot faster than his brain. 

Although, after saying it out loud, it didn’t really sound like a bad idea. Honestly, it kind of made sense. They already spend most of their time together, they have belongings at each other’s houses, they’ve basically been raising Christopher together for years, and they were both single.

Not that being married would mean they’d be in a relationship, but it would probably be confusing to explain to other partners. That was assuming they’d even go through with the suggestion, which they wouldn’t. It’s a crazy idea.

Isn’t it? 

“You- What?” Buck looked, understandably, baffled, which Eddie tried not to be thrown off by.

“You know, for convenience! People do it all the time.”

Buck was still staring at him with an indecipherable look on his face, “Do they?” His tone was accusatory, yet somehow also confused.

Eddie just stayed silent, panic slowly starting to creep up on him.

Luckily, before it could get worse, Buck seemed to reluctantly change his angle, likely sensing the tension, “I mean, I guess it could work. For Theo.”

“Exactly! For Theo,” Eddie agreed, clapping Buck on the shoulder as he stood up to finally get back to what he was supposed to be doing, which was restocking the ambulance. 

Buck didn’t say anything else as he left, but as Eddie cast a glance back on the way to the ambulance he could already see Buck frantically calling someone, and approximately five minutes later he was met with a wildly unexpected text.

Maddie: You did WHAT?????

Come over the second your shift ends.

Well, shit.

Eddie was sweating.

It was the middle of October and he was in a t-shirt and jeans, and he was sweating.

On his drive over to Maddie’s, he made the startling realization that in their nine years of knowing each other they’d only ever hung out one-on-one a handful of times, and they always tended to have some kind of agenda behind them. In fact, when he’d looked at his text thread with her, the last time he’d texted Maddie privately was to check in on Buck, and the time before that was to beg her to bid on him, and to not tell Buck.

So, given what had happened today, it was safe to assume that they were again going to talk about Buck.

He didn’t even get the chance to knock when Maddie opened the door, immediately stepping aside to let him in with one hand on her hip and a thoroughly unimpressed look on her face.

She didn’t even wait two seconds after closing the door before starting with, “You proposed.”

“What? No I didn’t!” Eddie jumped into defence.

“Okay, not technically. But you suggested you and Buck get married?”

“For Theo!”

Maddie rolled her eyes, pouring two large glasses of wine and sliding one across the counter to Eddie, which he accepted gladly. 

After almost downing half of the glass, Maddie drummed her fingers against the surface a few times and decided it was time to address the elephant that had taken up space in the room, which it had been doing for way too long now. 

“That’s the problem,” She said, taking a seat at the kitchen stool and laughing a little to herself when Eddie just stayed standing on the other side of the counter.

“What?”

“No it’s just-” She spoke between giggles, “Oh my God, it’s been two years,” She put her head in her hands, still laughing quietly.

“Two years since…?”

She waved it off, “Nothing. I’ll tell you one day, hopefully, but I can’t yet. But God it’s going to make a great story at your-”

All of a sudden, she cut herself off abruptly. 

Eddie leaned forward on his elbows, “At my what?”

“Nothing.”

“At my what, Maddie?”

“Nothing! Back to the topic at hand. You asked Buck to marry you.”

Eddie groaned into his arms, hearing Maddie fill up his glass of wine that he hadn’t even realised he’d finished drinking, “I didn’t ask him to marry me, I just said I would marry him for practicality reasons! Big difference. And it would help him out.”

The thing is, he wasn’t even lying, but Maddie had this look on her face that was somewhere between saying I’m not stupid, and also looking at him as if he were a kicked puppy, so Eddie didn’t exactly know where to go from here. 

“You would marry your best friend to ‘help him out’?” She repeated his words slowly.

“Well, yeah? He rented my house off me to help me out. It’s kind of just what we do.”

“Don’t I know it,” Maddie muttered into her glass.

Eddie tilted his head at her, “What’s that supposed to mean? And don’t say ‘nothing’.”

Maddie sighed begrudgingly, “You are aware that you and Buck have quite an… intense, friendship. Aren’t you?”

“Intense?”

“Like, for example, the house thing,” She placed her palm over the back of his hand, “Eddie, most friends would just find their friend a good realtor, or upsell the property to prospective renters. Not go through the trouble of moving out of their own apartment and renting their friend’s one.”

Eddie was about to open his mouth to speak, but Maddie held up a hand to tell him she wasn’t done.

“And, okay, I know that situation was different because Christopher was involved. But how about the auction?”

“The auction? That’s got nothing to do with me and Buck.”

Eddie could feel the room getting smaller, if that was possible. Just saying the words me and Buck made him feel a little dizzy and trigger an unsettling feeling in his stomach, something that had been happening a lot around Buck recently. He hoped he’d just be able to ignore it again, but Maddie seemed to have different intentions.

“So you didn’t bribe me to bet on you so that you wouldn’t have to win an actual date?” She prodded.

“I wasn’t looking to start dating!”

Maddie pinched the space between her brows, “Eddie. It was one date. For charity.”

He shrugged noncommittally, “A donation was still made.”

Thankfully, Maddie chose to ignore that and move on from the whole auction thing, although Eddie still wasn’t a fan of the other topic she seemed so keen to talk about.

“Tell me again why you said you’d marry Buck.”

Eddie could tell that this was most likely a trick question, but he answered anyway, “To make things easier for him to adopt Theo.”

Maddie nodded, “Right, and you couldn’t have just made things easier by, I don’t know, being a character witness for him?”

Oh. He hadn’t even thought of that. The first, and only, solution that had come to mind was that they should get married. Platonically. As friends.

He tried to answer, he really did, but, for some reason, no words would come out. It was like he had become frozen in time, and he could still see Maddie saying something else, but the ringing in his ears was too loud and he couldn’t hear her. 

When he finally managed to snap back to reality he only caught the end of what she was saying.

“...The right reasons.”

“What?” Eddie wasn’t even saying this because he was confused, he honestly just had no idea what she’d been saying beforehand.

The expression on Maddie’s face grew gentle, as if she somehow understood that he hadn’t even heard her, “I was saying that, even though it’s a little insane, it’s a great idea. You just need to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

And, huh, that sounded oddly familiar. Come to think of it, several people had told him something along those lines over the past few years, but he’d never really paid much attention to what they could possibly-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, this was not good. It was not good at all. Standing in Maddie’s kitchen, Buck’s sister, he couldn’t even stop himself from admitting-

“I think I’m in love with Buck.”

That’s what everyone had been trying to tell him. Well, maybe not specifically the Buck part of it all, because there’s no way even the hot priest (sue him, Eddie could see when a man is good-looking) would know that. But the whole thing with the juice, and joy, it was all a crazy metaphor… for Buck. Choosing joy was equivalent to choosing Buck.

Eddie expected this to terrify him, and it did, a bit, but when Maddie rounded the kitchen island and wrapped him in a tight hug, he realized he wasn’t really that scared. Loving Buck was the easiest thing in the world, and he’d been doing it since they met. He didn’t know yet what this meant for his sexuality, but he seriously did not want to think too hard about that yet, because then he would inevitably start freaking out, and he was not about to have a panic attack in Maddie Buckley’s kitchen. He knew he loved Buck and, for now, that was more than enough.

“I can’t marry him.”

Okay, not entirely what he meant to say, and when Maddie pulled out of the hug to look him in the eyes she honest-to-God looked like she was about to slap him, and Eddie wouldn’t blame her if she did.

But, surprisingly, she didn’t. She just retreated back to her kitchen stool and started folding laundry (Eddie didn’t even know where she’d pulled a basket of laundry from, but he didn’t question it). 

His expression must have given his confusion away though, as Maddie quickly clarified, “It was on the other stool. I found that folding my laundry stops me from saying the things I so desperately want to say, but I know I shouldn’t.”

Eddie snorted, “When did you discover that?”

“When Buck was in my kitchen ranting about you after you moved to Texas,” She folded a t-shirt, “Well it started off as ranting about something Tommy said, but it quickly spiraled.”

Eddie scoffed at the mention of Buck’s ex, “What did he say?”

“Not my story to tell, and not the point right now,” She paused to look at him thoughtfully, “Why can’t you marry my brother?”

Dropping his head into his hands for a moment, Eddie tried to think of a way he could explain himself gently. It wasn’t that he couldn’t marry Buck, or even that he didn’t want to, but he couldn’t marry him for Theo, especially when Buck would be thinking that’s all it means.

He took a large sip of wine, “I can’t marry him because we wouldn’t be doing it for the same reasons. He’d marry me for Theo and then go on to date someone else, I’d marry him and never be able to move on.”

“Eddie… You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“That I’d never move on? Of course I-”

Maddie physically put a hand over his mouth, “No, That Buck would date other people. I mean, come on, anyone can see that you two are crazy about each other.”

She said this so casually that Eddie started to think about it for the first time in his life.

When they first met, and barely knew each other, Buck took the time to introduce him to Carla so that he would have some support with Chris. When Eddie was shot, even though he claimed not to remember it, Buck crawled underneath a firetruck to pull him to safety, despite being literally crushed by one a while before that, and hauled him over his shoulder to put him in the engine. He’d risked his own life to save Christopher’s in a tsunami. 

Repeatedly, Buck had shown Eddie just the kind of person he was. The kind that loved openly and loudly, even if he couldn’t admit it to himself. If Eddie wanted a chance with him, he had to tell him outright.

“Anyone?” He questioned.

Maddie waved her hands vaguely, “I’d assume so. I’ve been seeing it for the past nine years, and I don’t even work with you. Just think about your poor coworkers…”

“Okay, rude,” Eddie muttered, though he wasn’t actually offended.

The truth is, Maddie was right. They’d been completely blind to their own feelings for years and, even if Eddie was imagining things and Buck did only see him as just a friend, he needed to at least say something. Because, to be honest, the idea of having to sit around watching Buck potentially date other people whilst he had this unbelievable weight on his chest made him feel a sense of dread unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. When he thought about it, he’d been feeling this way for quite some time now, he just never knew what the reason for it was.

Turns out, it’s love.

It’s always been love, and he’s certain it always will be.

But, still, he was afraid. 

“What do I do?”

Maddie’s expression grew softer, “Talk to him. And if you guys get married soon, you are not allowed to elope, you hear me?”

Eddie nodded in understanding, “I hear you,” he knew she was serious, and he wouldn’t take away her chance at seeing her little brother get married.

He has to talk to Buck. 

Actually, he had to make a quick stop first.

Three hours, two almost-panic attacks, and a series of encouraging texts from Maddie later, and Eddie was standing on Buck’s doorstep hoping he wasn’t about to completely ruin the best friendship of his life. 

He had a key, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to move his arms enough to use it, causing him to stand outside for ten minutes before Buck just happened to come to the door to collect a delivery that he hadn’t even noticed arrived.

“Eddie?”

“Buck! Hey! Can I, uh, can I come in?”

Buck stepped aside, completely ignoring the package on the ground, appearing to be more concerned by whatever Eddie’s face was doing, and also very likely thrown off by Eddie not just using his key in the first place.

“Yeah? You’re always welcome here, you know that.”

This didn’t help. Eddie was starting to believe a little too much that he had a chance here and, if things went badly, it would destroy him more than if he went into it with no hope at all. 

“Yeah,” He shoved his hand in his pockets, before quickly removing them once he felt a certain object, “Can we talk?”

“Sure, Maddie actually just came by to get Theo for a last-minute playdate with Jee.” Buck gestured to the couch, to which Eddie shook his head and went to lean against the kitchen island instead, moving around the house as if were his own. For some reason, he found this a lot easier when they weren’t awkwardly perched next to each other.

He took one deep breath, and then the words spewed out at the speed of light, “Ican’tmarryyou.”

Buck blinked, “What?”

He spoke slower, “I can’t marry you.”

Until this moment, Eddie had never really understood the whole ‘you could hear a pin drop’ phrase in a literal sense. But now, standing in the kitchen with his best friend just across from him, he felt like, if he really concentrated hard enough, he’d be able to hear atoms moving around. 

Buck, somehow, composed himself alarmingly well, “Right, yeah, that makes sense. It was a crazy idea to begin with-”

Eddie moved around the kitchen island, “Buck.”

“And it wouldn’t be practical anyway. I mean, what would your future partners think?” He continued.

“Buck.” Eddie held Buck’s face in the palm of his hands, cutting off whatever thought he was going to verbalize next, “Let me finish,” He whispered.

Stunned into silence, Buck simply nodded.

Letting go of Buck’s face, he anxiously ran his hands through his hair, trying to come up with a way to put his thoughts into words. The problem was, he didn’t know how. At Maddie’s place all he’d done was have a life changing realization and then decide he’d waited long enough to experience true joy. In all honesty, he hadn’t actually thought about what he was going to say or do, because if he did think about it, he would probably throw up. Or pass out. Or both. Definitely both.

He really had to come up with something quick, though, because he’d told Buck to let him finish, and now he was just standing there as if he was very much finished. Was he having a heart attack? He felt like he was having a heart attack. Surely it wasn't normal for someone’s heart to beat this fast and their chest to hurt this much when they were standing completely still. His hands were shaking, too, and Buck was staring at him as if-

Right, Buck.

That’s why he’s here. For Buck. Buck who was being so patient with him, just standing there and waiting for him to gather himself enough to use his words.

“I can’t marry you,” He repeated.

“Yeah we uh, we covered that,” Buck shifted awkwardly on his feet.

Eddie shook his head, “I can’t marry you for Theo,” Almost immediately he realized how bad that sounded, “Not that I don’t want to! I do- I just, it wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be, it wouldn’t mean- You know?”

“Eddie, I don’t have a single clue what you’re saying right now.” 

That was fair. Eddie himself didn’t even know what he was saying. This was a bad idea, this was a really, really-

“This is a bad idea,” The words came out before he could stop himself, and the next thing he knew, he was bolting out the door, barely even registering Buck calling out for him.

It was pouring with rain. Eddie had no idea when that happened, as there wasn’t even a cloud in the sky when he was waiting outside the front door not too long ago. Or, maybe there was, and he’d been so checked out mentally that he hadn’t even noticed. That was more likely.

Upon seeing that Buck had followed him out, and was now also being drenched with rain, Eddie finally worked up the courage to speak again.

“Okay, truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing. Like, at all,” The deafening sound of the rain made it so he almost had to yell, “I think people usually create some big speech for this but I don’t think any speech in the world could sum up all the things I want to say to you.” 

Buck stayed silent.

“For a while now I’ve been having these feelings that I’ve never been able to put a name to. But I think I know now. I know… and I might ruin everything by doing this but I think this is what I’ve been searching for for years. It’s love Buck. I can’t marry you like this, because I love you. And you might not- and that’s okay-”

Clearly, Buck had enough, and Eddie found himself being silenced with a kiss. And, out of nowhere, he knew exactly what choosing joy felt like. It felt like Buck’s hands gripping his face, like Buck’s lips against his own, like being soaked by rain with the love of his life.

Was it premature to say that? Either way, he meant it. 

The kiss was over almost as quick as it started though, with Buck pulling away and making an attempt at wiping away the rain on Eddie’s face, before realizing it was futile as it just battered down even harder. 

Buck was still holding onto his face as he confessed, “I love you too. So much, Eds, God.”

Eddie released a shaky breath, “Okay, that’s a relief, otherwise this would’ve been really awkward.”

“What would’ve been-” Buck started.

However, before he could finish, Eddie was already down on one knee, fishing a small box out of his pocket and opening it to reveal the most elegant, yet subtle, moonstone encrusted engagement ring, although the dark and the rain made it a little hard to see from the distance Buck was at.

“Eddie-”

“Okay, uh, I’m gonna try and make this quick so you don’t get sick standing out here in the cold and rain,” This drew a laugh out of Buck, whose tears would have been more obvious if it weren’t for the weather.

“No, take your time,” He smiled down at his best friend.

Eddie let out a small laugh, trying to focus on the happiness radiating from Buck, “My whole life, I’ve tried repeatedly to find love, to find the right person for me. I can’t believe it took me so long to realize it’s been you all along. You’re another dad to Christopher, you’re the man I love, and you’re my best friend. I want to marry you, because I love you. Not for convenience purposes, but for us. I want to do everything for us, forever. And I want to be by your side with Theo, just like how you have been with me for Chris. I want you Buck. God I should’ve written this down-”

“You’re doing great,” Buck whispered, reaching down to take hold of Eddie’s shaking hands.

“Evan Buckley, Buck, will you make me the happiest man on this earth, and marry me?” 

Buck was grinning from ear to ear at the romcom-esque way in which Eddie went about this, not even leaving a second of silence that he knew would make him freak out before frantically nodding and yelling, “Yes! Obviously yes, Eddie!”

Some people may say they were moving too quickly, that they hadn’t even been on a date yet, but the people that knew them would say this was Buck and Eddie. That they’d been dating for nine years already, they just didn’t know it. It was only a matter of time that they’d end up right here.

Eddie was quickly pulled up by Buck, who wrapped his arms around him and crashed their mouths together with nine years worth of built up tension coursing through them, the ring box uncomfortably digging into the both of them. 

“Wait, wait,” Eddie mumbled between kisses, delicately pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it onto Buck’s finger, careful not to drop it with how slippery it had become in the rain, “There.”

“Ohhh, so that was just the ring box digging into me!” Buck joked, his words quickly falling flat as he admired the ring, the favorite of his birthstones glinting at him.

“Oh my God, shut up.”

Although still getting drenched by the rain, Eddie could see tears coming from Buck’s eyes, and he didn’t even fight the urge to wipe them away.

“I need to call Maddie,” Buck croaked out.

“Okay, yeah. Yeah. Let’s go inside though, I meant it when I said I don’t want you getting sick,” Eddie took hold of Buck’s hand, finding comfort in the feeling of the ring, and dragged him inside.

Instantly, they both started dripping water onto the floor, their shoes squelching as they toed them off at the door. Buck didn’t seem too concerned by this, however, as he was already reaching for his phone on the counter which, to his annoyance, was dead. 

“Use mine,” Eddie handed him his phone automatically, to which Buck already knew the password for.

It unlocked onto his text thread with Maddie.

[Call ended]

Maddie: God I’m so happy for you two!!!

Thank you for asking me, and for showing me the ring (which, BTW, he’s going to love)

Good luck!!

Buck was staring at the screen, his expression unreadable as he accidentally saw the texts, “You went to Maddie first?”

Eddie started to panic, worrying that Buck was annoyed at him for this. He didn’t know why he would be, but he wouldn’t question it.

“I mean, she made me come to her first, technically, but then when I realized what I was going to do I called her from the jewellery store. She basically raised you, I had to get her blessing. She made me promise we wouldn’t elope, though,” He rambled.

“Eddie…” Buck’s eyes were watering, “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I love you so, so much.”

This time, Eddie initiated the kiss, pulling his fiance in and essentially smothering him as if he was trying to make up all of the time they’d lost over the years.

“Ed.. Eddie-” Buck managed between stifled giggles once they’d made their way to his bedroom, “We can’t- ” Eddie was still kissing down his neck, making this a lot more difficult than it needed to be.

He hummed, “Why not?”

“Our clothes are soaked. And we need a shower- Wait.”

Eddie could almost see the wheels turning in Buck’s head, and he could see them even more when he tugged him into the bathroom, stripping off both of their jackets in the process. 

In theory, shower sex was wildly impractical and, as it would turn out, it was impractical in practice too. But, somehow, it was still perfect, because it was them.

So, a while later, they both rolled into bed not really that much cleaner, but absolutely exhausted and with a few more bruises than they’d had beforehand. 

“Is this weird?” Buck mumbled at the ceiling.

Turning on the bedside lamp, Eddie turned to face him completely, “What?”

“I just- What if you wake up tomorrow and you regret this whole thing?”

Eddie took Buck’s hand over the sheets, twisting the ring between his fingers, “Buck, loving you is the most natural thing I’ve ever experienced, and I would bet anything that I’m never going to regret it, because I’ve never regretted anything when it comes to you.”

Buck’s lips curved up into a smile, “Really?”

“Tomorrow, we’ll call your sister and, if you want, tell the others. Seeing as how we have to be at work in,” He glanced at his phone, “Shit, four hours. And for the rest of our lives I’ll prove to you just how serious I am about this.”

“Wait, I can’t wear this ring to work.”

Eddie didn’t reply to this, he just pulled out a black silicone band from the bedside drawer and replaced it with the silver one on Buck’s finger, saving them from having to remember to do so in the morning.

“When did you even-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie cut him off with a soft kiss, pulling them closer together.

This seemed to satisfy Buck, as he leaned further into him and they both managed to get maybe a solid two hours of sleep.

True to their word, Buck and Eddie called Maddie the second they woke up, being met on the other end of the phone with some excited squealing, crying, and then Maddie’s attempt at composing herself as she told them how happy she is for them and that, no, she won’t tell Chimney.

On the way to work they had a brief discussion about when they wanted to tell the team, and how, but ultimately they just decided to arrive for their shift and let them notice. That way, they didn’t have the pressure of figuring out how to tell their closest friends that they’re engaged, when they hadn’t even been dating beforehand. 

The first person to notice was Hen, which didn’t really surprise them.

“So this is a thing now?” She gestured to their intertwined hands, apparently having not yet noticed the silicone ring.

“What do you mean ‘a thing’?” Buck reluctantly let go of Eddie’s hand once they got to the locker rooms so that they could change.

Hen gave them a questioning look, “You’re holding-” She spotted the ring, “Oh my God, you’re engaged?” Her voice lowered into a whisper as a grin overtook her face.

“Who’s engaged?” Ravi appeared from out of nowhere, trying to decipher the situation by looking back and forth between everyone, until his line of sight fell onto Buck’s hand, and then back up to the matching nervous expressions on his and Eddie’s faces. 

They all fell silent, waiting for someone to speak up.

“Huh,” Ravi nodded, “Well, it’s about time,” He pulled the two of them individually in for hugs, before pulling back to say, “Oh God, you’re gonna be even worse now aren’t you.”

This made Hen descend into a fit of laughter as she also embraced the pair, “Ravi, let’s just take the win.”

“Should we take offense? I feel like we should take offense,” Eddie joked to Buck, who did nothing to help the situation by pulling out his phone to show Hen and Ravi pictures of the actual engagement ring.

“Oh, that’s beautiful. You did good, Eddie.”

Eddie chuckled nervously, “Yeah, Maddie helped a lot.”

“Wait, how long have you two been…?”

Buck and Eddie started communicating silently through their looks, which was a frequent occurrence, to try and figure out how to reply to this.

Eventually, Eddie settled on, “Engaged? Since last night.”

Hen shook her head, “No, together. Dating. Whatever.”

“Uh-” Eddie started, at the same time as Buck.

Ravi seemed to realize what was happening here as he cut in with, “Wait. You weren’t, were you? Oh my God, you were never dating. You got engaged before going on a date. That’s really on brand for you, actually.”

Buck flinched back, “What does that mean?”

“Nothing bad!” Ravi held up his hands in surrender, “I’m happy for you two. You’re a match made in Hell.”

“Wow, thanks Rav,” Buck rolled his eyes.

Harry noticed about ten minutes later when he caught the pair kissing in a storage closet, his silence being bribed with Buck promising to take over his latrine duties for the next six months, which Eddie felt was excessive, but he was even more against Chimney knowing they were making out on shift. 

This meant that, to nobody’s surprise, Chimney was the last one to find out. (Athena had visited the station during her shift, saw Buck’s ring, and simply nodded in understanding at the pair, Eddie had texted May about it, and Hen had called Karen as soon as Ravi had finished poking fun at them). 

It was thirteen hours into the shift, and they hadn’t had a call for about an hour, so everyone was just hanging out in the loft, having already exhausted all of the cleaning duties.

Buck and Eddie were sitting in what they believed to be an extremely compromising position on the couch, Eddie leaning back in the corner with his legs splayed out on the length of the cushion and Buck settled practically on top of him, his back against Eddie’s chest.

Hen kept on looking over at them smiling, whilst Ravi walked past them making a fake gagging sound before sitting across from them texting, presumably, May. Harry, understandably, was avoiding them altogether. 

Chimney looked at them a little puzzled, but then just shrugged and settled onto the armchair to the left of them where, to everyone’s relief, because they couldn’t watch this go on much longer, he had a clear view of Buck’s hands and, therefore, the ring. 

Eddie could quite literally see the moment it hit him, as their captain glanced over at them once more, clearly trying to decipher why they were sitting in the way they were, when Buck took the perfect opportunity to flex his fingers.

“Wait…” Chim pointed his finger back and forth between the two of them, his jaw dropping wider and wider with every passing second, “Buck. You’re wearing a ring.”

Hen snorted into her coffee at the observation.

“I am,” Buck confirmed.

“You’re wearing a… and Eddie’s… oh my God. You two are engaged! I knew you were secretly together,” Chimney grabbed his phone, “Does Maddie know?”

Both Buck and Eddie nodded in unison, giving him permission to start shooting off texts to his wife. However, it didn’t take long for Eddie to process exactly what had been said.

“Hang on. What do you mean you knew we were secretly together?”

The loft fell silent, with everyone but Chimney knowing they weren’t together until, well, until yesterday.

To his credit, he picked up on the tension almost immediately, “Don’t tell me you weren’t… there’s no way. Nobody just… acts like that.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know! There’s not a word out there for the way you guys have been acting for the past nine years.”

Just when Eddie was about to say something in their defense, Hen shot them a very targeted glare.

Yeah, fair enough.

Chimney shook his head in disbelief, “Wow. So you’re engaged. When’s the wedding? Tomorrow?”

This got him a not-so-light smack on the arm from Hen.

Eddie would want it to be known that the wedding was not the next day, or week, or even the next month. It was a perfectly respectable six months after their engagement. They would’ve done it sooner, but the adoption agency decided that, even without being married, Buck was the perfect person to adopt Theo, so, whilst going through that process, they decided to actually take the time to plan out a wedding. 

And, seriously, it was perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

Maddie walked Buck down the aisle, and Christopher walked Eddie. They held the ceremony in Buck’s backyard, which became so intimately beautiful when it was all set up and decorated. Jee was a flower girl, and Theo, the newest member of the Buckley-Diaz family, had the role of the ring bearer (which he executed flawlessly). Hen, Ravi, Harry. Chimney, Karen, and May were all bridesmaids and groomsmen. Athena was even officiating.

The only missing piece was Bobby. He was also the most important piece.

About a week before the wedding, they still had no idea who was officiating, and Buck had turned up to Athena’s house with Eddie and broke down recalling the time Bobby had told him that, when Buck got married, he would love to have the pleasure of officiating the wedding. Looking back on it, it was clear that Bobby knew exactly who Buck would end up marrying, as when he’d said he wouldn’t be so sure that would happen, Bobby had merely glanced over at Eddie and said, ‘I wouldn’t be so sure.’ 

It made sense now. They finally figured out their feelings. They were getting married, and Bobby was dead. So, Athena offered to officiate in his place, and using a speech he’d apparently actually written when Eddie moved back to Texas, and Bobby had faith he’d come back for Buck.

It went like this.

“Buck and Eddie, watching you two grow up over the past, insert years,” The crowd laughed at this, Athena not willing to alter the speech even in the slightest, “Has been the greatest pleasure of my life. When I hired Eddie to be Buck’s partner, I hoped he would balance him out a little, I couldn’t have imagined what was going to grow from that relationship. First, it was a petty rivalry, lasting not even one full shift, and then quickly it became something I’d never witnessed before. Something so deeply rooted in love and trust, I couldn’t even pinpoint where exactly it began. And I’ve been there for all of it!” Maddie handed Buck a tissue from behind him, and Athena paused to appreciate Bobby’s words, “But now, you both stand here today about to start the rest of your lives together, and I really hope it isn’t too long after my prematurely written speech-”

Suddenly, Athena stopped short, the words cutting off abruptly. Eddie could just about see tears start to fill her eyes. Although, maybe that was just his own vision blurring.

She cleared her throat, and kept reading, still committed to her late husband, “If I’m unlucky enough to not be around for your wedding, then I hope my wonderful wife, Athena, is reading you this. I hope you are happy, and surrounded by the people you love. I hope you get everything you wish for in life. And I hope you know how proud I am of you both, and how much I love you. You deserve everything. You deserve each other.”

By this point, everyone was crying. Everyone. But, through it all, Eddie found himself feeling an odd sensation of peace wash through him, knowing that Bobby knew all along. Taking one glance at his husband, he knew they were on the same page. Their grief for Bobby would never leave them, but that simultaneously meant that Bobby would never leave them.

He may not have been there to tie Buck’s tie, but he was there in other ways, and it was the most beautiful, special thing. 

After the ceremony, everyone stayed in the garden until the early hours of the morning, telling stories about when they’d first noticed that Buck and Eddie would someday become BuckAndEddie, and thinking back on the now blatantly obvious times Bobby had attempted to push them together in his own, incredibly subtle, ways. Buck also spent a considerable amount of time dragging his husband around (and introducing him as this to everyone who had very much already met him), and showing off their matching wedding rings. They both had moonstone and alexandrite encrusted along the outside of the bands (months earlier they showed Chris and Theo their birthstones and made them pick one each). 

It was safe to say a lot of people cried that night.

Slowly, the people they loved most made their ways home, Hen and Karen happily taking Christopher and Theo with them, and the newlywed couple spent the night switching between being concerningly intertwined with each other, and admiring their rings.

See, what they hadn’t shown anyone, except for their kids, was that they had personalized engravings made. On the inside of Buck’s ring, in Eddie’s handwriting, it read ‘I love you anyway’, and on the inside of Eddie’s ring, in Buck’s handwriting, which he’d put a lot of effort into, it read ‘You are joy.’ 

Because that summed them up. They were joy, and they loved each other anyway.

And wasn't that just convenient?