Work Text:
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It was a day like any other.
Mike and Harvey walked through the office like normal, bouncing ideas off of eachother, quoting movies, and lingering a little too close to be platonic.
Harvey put a guiding hand on Mikes back, leading him into his office and earning an eyebrow raise from Louis.
That's just how they were. Louis would be the luckiest guy ever to have a bond like Mike and Harveys.
It was 10am when Jessica came to Harvey with a case which she desceibed as 'high profile, high reward.'
"Can you handle this? We really need this right now, considering the firms financials."
"Can Mike work on this as well?"
Jessica gave him a look.
"Don't you pawn this on your associate. He can be on this case as long as you guide him. Teach him. Don't let him do it all."
"Jessica. Mike isn't my associate, he's my man."
Jessica gave him a surprised smile before wordlessly walking away. Harvey, usually the smartest in the room, was completely oblivious to his use of 'man' instead of 'guy' which carried an entirely different connotation when said aloud, especially to your boss.
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It was 2pm and the office was buzzing with gossip. Unbeknownst to Harvey and Mike, Jessica had gone to Louis to ask about the nature of their relationship, to which she recieved a very ambiguous answer. Louis then began asking around as well, and somehow everyone in the firm, including the mail room staff had come to the absolute conclusion that the two of them were in a relationship.
After all, 'he's my man' is a pretty absolute statement. Jessica would never call Harvey her man. Calling someone your man is claiming them.
Jessica had gone to Hardman about this and he agreed that there needed to be a meeting to address the drama. Workplace relationships weren't exactly prohibited, but the sheer amount of relationships that had been recently brought to his attention, especially a partner and an associate, concerned him.
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Mike hovered by Donna's cubicle waiting, and when he emerged from his office, asked for Harveys credit card to go get a bagel. He handed it over so willingly that Donna almost gagged.
"It's crazy how much you pamper him in here, he makes money working too, you know."
Harvey looked at her confused.
"He forgot his credit card at my apartment." Donna rolled her eyes.
"Moving in together already? How long have you two been together, two months?" She was trying to gauge how long they had actually been dating with the question, but Harvey just scoffed and went back to his office. Donna had suspected for a while, but Jessica and Louis had confirmed what basically everyone thought. See, the problem is that Donna had been joking about the moving in part. Harvey thought she was joking about all of it.
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Later that day, Daniel called the meeting and Mike came to Harveys office to let him know.
An associate passed by him on the way in, grumbling about how it wasn't fair that Mike got special treatment just because Harvey was his daddy. Mike shot him a look before barging into the glass doors uninvited.
"Mandatory office meeting!" Mike announced and Harvey groaned, tearing himself from his work.
"If this is another HR 'how to not be a predator' meeting I swear I'm leaving. How many workplace conduct presentations do we need? There aren't even any relationships happening in the office right now!" Mike said, getting a weird look from another associate who was passing by.
Daniel Hardman was standing at the front of the conference room with a slideshow titled 'managing relationships in the workplace.
"Called it." Mike whispered to Harvey who was already getting up to sneak away.
"Uh uh, you stay there Harvey. You aren't exactly a champion of workplace professionalism."
Harvey raised an eyebrow but shut his mouth and stayed put, kicking Mike under the table and causing him to yelp.
"Okay first of all, I want to thank everyone who came to this meeting. I've recieved several complaints about couples and inappropriate romantic conduct, so I thought id remind all of us that we're here to work. Harvey and Mike, will you help with the examples since you're already comfortable with eachother?"
They made eye contact and shrugged, confused as they walked to the front of the room.
"Okay first of all, Harvey you're the boss so we need to talk about power dynamics. Mike here, as your associate, has less power than you. He may feel an obligation to do certain things for you to please you. That is a power imbalance, and we need to tread carefully in cases like these."
Mike giggled a bit and Harvey shot him a look.
"Okay now I'd like you to act out a scenario. Act like you normally would in this situation. Mike, you believe you deserve a promotion. Harvey is your boyfriend, and he's also the who gives you promotions. How do we go about this in a respectful and professional way, casting personal relationships aside?"
Mike looked at Harvey with a mischievous glint in his eye before falling into full acting mode.
"Harvey, we need to talk." Harvey nodded, pretending to motion him over to talk.
"I'm sure you've noticed how well I've been performing lately, and I want to ask for a promotion."
Harvey raised an eyebrow.
"And which areas have you been performing well in?"
Mike giggled, not taking this seriously. In his mind, they were acting out a scenario that someone else might be in, not even considering that this was directed at them. He decided to have some fun
"All areas. I'd give you a performance report but I think you know I perform well." Mike winked and Hardman smacked his forehead, groaning.
"Okay so great job of giving us an example of what NOT to do. I think I found the root of a lot of these complaints. I'm still surprised this happened in my office and everyone seemed to know but me."
Harvey looked confused and Mike stood up.
"Sorry, give us another chance. I just can't take this seriously. Its weird acting like Harveys boyfriend."
The whole room was stunned silent and Donna was the first to speak.
"Sorry, did you just say acting like his boyfriend? As in you two aren't together?"
Mikes face went pale along with Harvey's, and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
"...Sorry? Im so confused?"
"Mike, Harvey, everyone in this office seems to think you two are in a relationship and have been for months. I'm not mistaken am I? I believe you made it pretty clear earlier when you referred to him as your man." Jessica sat at the other end of the room, looking between the two of them confused.
Harvey and Mike looked at eachother and then at the rest of the room sitting in a meeting probably being held because of them.
"We aren't together." Harvey said and everyone was silent.
"Well in that case, maybe this presentation should be 'how to refer to our completely platonic associates in a way that doesn't confuse an entire office of lawyers who are supposed to be good at context clues."
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