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Peter had nothing.
Not even a name, technically.
Being a hero means doing things you don’t want to sometimes for the greater good. Peter knew this so it was easy.
But…
Walking the cold streets of New York with no home, no contacts, no money, no identity…
It was only then that he understood what it meant to exist, alien to everything in the world.
It’s funny… he wanted almost everyone to forget him when he got a brick thrown through his window— almost hitting Aunt May— after he got framed but the only one forgotten was Spider-man.
The clothes on his back was the only thing he had left… because not even the government remembered him.
Honestly… Peter didn’t even remember himself that first week— it was all a blur. He vaguely remembers going to Aunt May’s funeral– he definitely remembers visiting her grave.
The cold chill of the wind signalling winter was going to come soon is what brought him back to himself.
He can’t go to MJ and Ned— what is he going to say? I know I’m a homeless nobody, but trust me, I’m Spider-man and we were best friends; you just forgot me?
Peter could feel his shoes wearing as he took every step, uncertain of where he was going. They were thin— he had never gotten used to having tons of money from the Stark fund and would be stingy about replacing things, feeling too bad to use the money.
Current Peter wouldn’t care— he’s rather have shoes he wasn’t worried would wear down to nothing with every step.
He already has enough nothingness for a whole lifetime, thanks.
God… his shoes was 50% of everything he owned…
He’s 17— he can’t go anywhere without concerned older people looking over him. He appreciates the concern— he really does— but… he could get deported. He’s not legally a citizen of… anywhere.
Peter honestly doesn’t know where he had been sleeping the first week but he’s learned from experience that he should probably plan where to sleep ahead of time… at least he sleeps during the day! Sometimes…
Aunt May would have grounded him for running around pulling all nighters…
‘Peter, you can’t just be Spider-man! You need to go to school in the morning too. Go To Bed or I will ground you, mister!’
Peter bit his lower lip and choked back a sob.
Peter would have responded— ‘You taught me to help people! That’s all I’m trying to do! People are in danger Aunt May!’
May would’ve responded— ‘Your grades are in danger!’ She would have sighed and shook her head fondly, ‘Take care of my nephew as well.’
Peter couldn’t stop the sobs from wracking his body, tilting onto the alley wall and sliding down until he curled up on the floor, his tears landing with him.
‘I love you’
I love you I love you I love you—
It hurt to breathe, his throat dry beyond belief. Soft sounds of sobbing escaping his throat even with his hand over his mouth muffling him.
Peter didn’t have the strength to stop sobbing, let alone get up, and just curled up next to wall for today— tomorrow. Tomorrow– Tomorrow he will figure everything out.
For today, he let himself cry himself to sleep.
.
.
.
The sun hit Peter’s eyes offensively, pulling him away from the warmth of sleep.
Peter pried his limbs off the concrete to move, an almost alien sensation, but he had to move— he’d been sleeping here for too long.
Tomorrow came way too fucking fast in Peter’s honest opinion.
Moving from his position made him realize how freaking cold it is— his t-shirt had been fine during the heat of summer but with fall approaching, the winds were the first to change—
‘Make sure to throw on a sweater, Hon—’
Peter bit his tongue.
Time has been moving too fast lately, he could swear it was still summer.
What is even the date…?
The library is free and has computers and probably wouldn’t kick out a home— a homeless-looking teenager.
When was the last time he took a shower?
Libraries have bathrooms.
“Okay, Peter, just need to get to the library. Easy Peasy.”
Step 1 look around to figure out where he is…
“…Jackson Heights? How the hell did I get to Jackson Heights?”
As Spider-man, swinging around Queens for years he knows the neighbourhood like the back of his hand.
Peter walked down the street, in nature, they say you should follow a river until you stumble upon civilization. In the concrete jungle, you follow the street until you find an intersection. Which is actually pretty easy because there's so many.
88th Street and 35th Avenue.
The closest library would be…. Queens Public Library.
Good news for him, the library is on 81st which is only 3 swings west.
Except he’s walking because he’s out of web fluid and he doesn’t have any money—he can’t even be Spider-man anymore—
It takes half an hour longer than it would by swing.
Peter breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the building in his eyeline.
Peter immediately made a beeline for the bathroom. He felt filthy, not even in a disgusting way but even washing his hands can’t get rid of the dirt under his nails.
Peter splashed a few handfuls of cold water on his face and sighed into his hands.
Step 1 done, he’s in the library.
Peter looked up into the mirror— he really looked homeless. He was haggard, and his hair was a birds nest. Despite how much he’d been sleeping lately he had dark purple eyebags he never had before.His teeth were yellow, his breath stunk, his eyes were bloodshot—
There was dirt under his nails.
Peter forced himself to loosen his grip on the sink— he’d hate to break it. He’d never be able to show his face here again.
Peter splashed his face with cold water one more time before turning off the tap.
Carefully, Peter pried his eyes away from the mirror and looked around— he was here at a weird time, so there should hopefully be no one else.
Peter turned and immediately bumped into the janitor.
“Oh! Shit—” Peter steadied himself on something he couldn't remember what, “Sorry— I didn’t see— I—”
The old janitor had black hair that had faded to white, and a hollowed-out face while maintaining a stern expression, but his eyes were still soft, “It’s alright, lad, take your time,” the old man said, walking out with his mop like a cane. “I’ve been there before.”
Peter watched the door swing closed… obviously that old man had been to the bathroom before too? He works here?
Deciding not to focus too hard on gift horses, Peter wasted no time in his pseudo shower. Wet paper towels were better than nothing.
Even though he couldn’t wash his clothes—oh god what was he going to do about clothes he doesn’t even have a second pair— he still felt refreshed, better than he had in days— weeks— since Aunt May died.
The janitor gave him a kind smile when he came out.
Peter tried to smile but he’s unsure what expression he made.
No one else being here means the computers are free!
August 21st.
It gets cold at night, 14ish degrees with windchill from the— the—
It’s been a month.
Peter blinked as fast as he could, swallowing down the lump in his throat.
It’s been 32 days, 4 hours and 16 minutes since May died.
Peter closed his eyes, his hands deadly still on the mouse, he can’t break it.
It gets cold at night because of wind coming from Northern Canada.
Peter should stop picking at his shirt he only has one shirt.
Nights have been extra chilly lately, so he needs a sweater.
Peter tried not to sob, he doesn’t want to breakdown again. Peter pressed his eyes hard enough that they would stop crying.
Peter has dirt under his nails.
Sweaters cost money that he doesn’t have.
Peter took a shaky breath.
He needs to focus— dumpsters. Dumpster diving he can do that. Phase 1, dumpster diving…
He needs money…
MJ was right. Capitalism is evil.
She would be making a witty comeback right now.
Ned would probably be hacking them a solution. Maybe he’d start a side hustle.
Peter took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes.
He needs to get a job.
He’s strong maybe he can carry stuff?
Not drugs, through. Peter wants to stay away from all crime thanks— he’s Spider-man.
Spider-man puts criminals away.
He needs a place that won’t check id’s one of those places MJ hates that exploits labour from undocumented individuals— she did her Social Studies Culminative on them.
Dumpster diving is almost nostalgic.
Back before Tony he used to dumpster dive for Spider-man parts. May was a single mother working overtime to provide for him, they didn’t have the money for Peter’s tinkering habit so he started dumpster diving outside certain stores. Then, after becoming Spider-man, he realized May would literally ground him if she found out he was using his brain for vigilantism so he kept it up out of fear.
Now he’s not doing it for fun or to dodge a grounding, but he finds it nostalgic nonetheless.
Eyuck he touched something gross— he doesn’t have a shower he’s gonna need another public bathroom— but Peter was looking in the bakery's trash for a reason… Bagel achieved! And it’s still wrapped!!
Before, Peter would have complained about wastefulness but now… a win is a win!
Step 2 complete! Dinner.
“Now to eat the bagel!” Peter took a big bite happily.
He can’t do soup kitchen or charities… they’ll ask questions. MJ used to volunteer in one one summer. She always noticed the little things, so did her coworkers.
It’s not safe for him— he doesn’t exist anywhere.
If Tony looked into the current Peter, he’d be even more suspicious than he was about 14-year-old Peter. 14-year-old Peter at least proof of life. He complained about never being invited to parties but he was still in the background of shots. FRIDAY would have noticed all of those types of shots.
Nothing… is more suspicious than something.
“Oh ew, who eats tuna bagels. I understand why they threw it out.”
Food at all is yummy though… he could see his ribs when he was looking in the mirror.
Peter chewed on his tuna bagel.
What’s he going to do about his mutant powers though… he needs more food than average unless he wants his metabolism to slow like a Spider about to hibernate— he needs more food if he wants to do more than survive.
Step 3 - food for tomorrow.
Peter stuffed a quarter of a bagel in his pocket.
Step 3 achieved.
“Yes, I’m nailing these steps!” Peter smiled proudly, pointing his thumb to his chest, “The stepper— no that name sucks I should workshop it.”
Dumpster 1 was a success.
Dumpster 2 is the one behind Target! Maybe they’ll have any thrown-out clothes— maybe— maybe someone returned something or maybe something got a hole in transportation.
It takes a while to walk… his webshooters are completely empty so he can’t even try to swing over…
Every time he took a step felt like watching the durability of his shoes go down by one.
Peter paused halfway there and checked his shoes… no, they’re fine for now. No big problems yet.
Peter perked up when he saw the target and made his way to the back of the store…
Oh.
Peter stared down at the orange paint and slashed items in the trash.
They do ‘product protection’ for their trash here.
“This sucks,” Peter stared down, swallowing down tears with ease, “MJ should write an essay about this practice. She’d— she’d hate it.”
“It’s fine. It’s fine, Peter. Just need to go to the Walmart one. Or Shein! MJ hates fast fashion, but they would throw out good clothes…”
Peter wrapped his arms around himself, “Come on, Peter, just gotta go check the next one.”
-
Most people would be happy to be in this situation- finding money on the ground- and if he was anyone but Peter Parker he would be yelling, ‘My horrible luck finally changed!’
So, technically, Peter shouldn’t take money he finds on the ground. It could be someone elses and he doesnt want to steal.
Peter bit his lip.
But… 5 bucks would be enough to buy something from the dollar store.
Peter sighed, head hung low, “Hey, did anyone drop 5 bucks?”
No one responded.
“Seriously, there’s like 5 bucks on the ground. I think it dropped out of someone's wallet.”
An auntie passing by gave him a look over. “Just keep it, kid.”
“But—”
“You look like you need it.”
Rude. True but rude.
Peter stared down at the life-changing amount of money in his hands, playing with the edge of the bill. “Are you sure?” He swallowed dryly. It’s been a day since he finished his tuna bagel— he never noticed how hungry he’d get after the spiderbite till he had a limited budget.
The Auntie clicked her tongue. “Go. Scamper outta here already.”
Peter nodded and wasted no time. That auntie was scary. Even the great Spider-man would be scared.
Peter stuffed his 5 dollar bill in his pocket, using his spider scopula to stick the bill to his hand to keep it from flying away or being stolen. It’d be awkward if Peter Parker had to fight off a robber. Or maybe not… it’s not like anyone is gonna connect him to anything… no they can still connect his face to Spider-man so he definitely can’t fight like a mutant near nobody.
Peter tended to stay on the streets near his home— or old home. Where he used to live. Well, he still lives there, just on the streets! Anyways, Peter used to go to the dollar store around the corner all the time with May back when Uncle Ben first died so he barely thought as he made his way to the building. It’s changed since the last time he’s been… 5 years of aging and the 3 years he hadn’t needed to go there anymore— not with the Stark internship. Mr.Stark used to complain about his dollar store items, saying that people will think he’s so poor he can’t afford to pay his intern. Mrs.Pepper agreed for moral reasons as an assistant to CEO herself but she would always put her hands on her hips whenever Mr.Stark said something like that.
Peter thought it was kinda funny.
Peter shook his head, he needs to stop reminiscing and enter already.
The bell rung above him as he entered the store, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. He’s taken a few sink showers but he doesn’t exactly have a way to wash his clothes yet and he doesn’t want to be kicked out.
Peter grabbed a couple of the cheapest cans of protein- black beans, nice. Kinda like when May’s Taco nights would go haywire and they’d resort to eating beans out of the cans because it’s too late to buy more groceries.
Peter made his way to the cashier, hoping if he got out fast enough he wouldn’t be noticed.
A package caught his eye and he put it in his arms as well— he’ll need a toothbrush, might as well buy one. He needs all the hygiene he can get…
“That’ll be 3.99.”
Okay that’s 4 dollars used, he can save the last dollar for if he needs anything later. Maybe he can start an emergency fund…
“Thank you, have a nice day!” Peter smiled and stuffed the one dollar bill in his pocket. May raised him to always be polite.
Peter basically skipped out of the dollar store— he has acquired food! And hygeine!
His tummy rumbled as he thought of food… he’s so hungry. He can’t Spider-man like this… if he’s not careful about his metabolism it’ll shut down.
He needs to plan as he builds up enough to get something going for money..
As soon as Peter turned into the alley he’s been using as a quasi home for the last 2 days he took out one of the cans, his hands shaking he can’t tell if from anticipation or his metabolism.
He just needs to open it and he has food!
Open… it…
Shit.
He doesn’t have a can opener.
Peter bit his lip and blinked back tears. It’d be in the spoon drawer— he’d just need to open the spoon drawer at home and he’d have a can opener.
Peter turned around and wen’t back into the store, feeling very awkward. “Sorry, I forgot something…” Peter announced to the cashier. God, he probably looks so weird who comes back to a store five minutes after they leave!?
Peter made his way through the food isle…
No… not here…
Maybe it’s with the kitchen stuff? Yeah that makes more sense…
Spatula… Pans… Whisk…
Can opener!
One dollar Peter has a dollar—
One fifty. One dollar and fifty cents.
He doesn’t have one dollar and fifty cents.
Peter speedwalked out of the store, his head down, hidden under his long bangs and hoodies hood.
Peter swallowed down tears, rubbing at his face.
He’s so stupid! Why didn’t he think of a can opener!?
Obviously, you need a can opener to open a can!
Peter stared down at the can in angry tears.
Stupid..! Stupid!
“Ugh…” Peter bemoaned, “MJ’s right… I’m such a dumbass.”
Peter sniffed and let himself slide down the brick wall. What an idiot.
Peter half heartedly banged on the wall— how could he be so stupid!
The brick cracked.
…
Oh yeah.
Peter rubbed at the tears on his cheeks.
He has superpowers.
Peter took a deep breath and picked the can back up.
Peter gingerly put his hand on the top, looking it over.
Push the top in? No that’ll make it harder. He can’t use the line he doesn’t have claws. Break in half? No… he’ll spill beans.
Hmmm.
Peter carefully put the can near his mouth and just… bit into the can. The metal was sharp and for a second he tasted iron
Peter spat out a chunk of metal.
Beans!
Ah… he has no spoon.
Eh, his hands are shaking too hard to use a spoon anyways. He’ll just down it like a chunky drink— bean juice and all.
Peter wanted to save half the can for later he really thought it’d be a good idea. But he couldn’t figure out how to keep it from going bad. Also he was hungry and might have ate most of it before thinking about the future.
God… canned beans had never tasted so good. Forbidden fruit…
Peter had enough self control to keep from the other can though, that’s tommorows food.
Peter got up and stretched his limbs, he felt better when he wasn’t fighting his metabolism. Peter grinned down at his nonshaky hands. Yeah, he’s feeling better now.
Good time to try and figure out money again.
Peter had started mentally marking out the good and bad dumpsters in the two days he’d been… online. If Ned was here he’d make an online map, possibly an interactive map. Peter doesn’t have an online map— actually he doesn’t have any electronics in general— but Peter has a map in his head, starting to sit nicely ontop of his normal Queens map.
Peter checked the dumpsters of the better neighbourhoods apartment buildings— people tended to throw away perfectly good electronics because they thought it went bad! Electronic stores tend to know to watch out for dumpster divers and only throw out really bad things so it’s not worth the risk which Peter figured out when he was 13 but… maybe he can try there after. He just needs to be careful and he’s way more sneaky now, anyways.
Peter warily looked at the grey sky above him, he’d have to be faster than the rain though. He doesn’t need the weather app to tell him it’s gonna rain tonight. He needs to get stuff he can fix up and possibly sell at pawn shops and find a place with a cover. Maybe under the bridge…?
It took 20 minutes of daytime to walk to the better neighbourhood (would’ve been 2 minutes if he had his webs)
It took 3 dumpsters of gunk and random weird stuff and a sharp lamp that cut his hand that he should probably wash because of risk of infection but he found… a fixable part!
He doesn’t have tools yet but what he does have is grit and determination.
And also Mr.Stark approved levels of knowledge. Though Mr.Stark knew how to put things together with tools… Peter had always started from making things with whatever he could get his hands on! Dumpsters, goodwills, science class…
Peter grinned. Yep, he could make due like this after all.