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The last day that Qifrey would ever see a Brimmed Cap couldn’t come soon enough. They had already taken so much from the world, but no, apparently it wasn't enough. They just couldn't leave it alone.
They just couldn't leave him alone.
“Oh, won't you just stay still?!”
“Not bloody likely!”
Dodge. Block. Diffuse. Redirect.
This one seemed easy enough. Not as insidious as his brethren. Refreshingly blunt, in fact. Simple looking beams of light as offense, rather than something less predictable and easy to counter, like twisting the environment to his favour.
At least he wasn't twisting people. At least not right now.
Rage spiralled, deep and familiar, in Qifrey's gut, but he could keep it controlled. He'd have to. Simple though this one seemed to be, you could never underestimate a Brim. That light show could potentially do anything if it found purchase, and he wasn't planning on testing his luck.
But if he could apprehend this one, then he might be able to squeeze something out of him before the Knights reduced his mind to mush. He might know where others of his ilk were. What they were planning in the future. How to fix Tartah. How to fix Euini.
How to fix-
“M-Master?”
“Coco?!”
Shit-
Nononononono, what was she doing here, he thought that the others were too far away to hear any of this, was this too close-?!
It was too close too close too close-
“Coco, get out of here before-!”
Too late.
The Brimmed Cap had spotted an easier target nigh-immediately; he cackled maniacally as he let another light beam go.
Time ground to a crawl for Qifrey as the spell shot along its path. There was a numb but mercifully swift realisation that he didn't have the time to draw a spell to properly counter at this angle. So that left only one option with the time he did have.
Protect. Protect. Protect. Protect.
He lunged at Coco, wrapping her up in him, hoping that he could get them both out of the way but being willing to settle for a fate as a human shield.
He was forced to settle. Unfortunate, but it could have been so much worse, so he was ultimately satisfied enough.
The light found purchase, and his vision swam with everything imaginable before quickly collapsing into nothing at all.
Well. At least it didn't hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Qifrey awoke, he felt … strange. Oddly light.
He was in the Great Hall’s medical spire, so he imagined that the feeling was from some cocktail of medicines he was on after the Brim hit him. Considering that Coco had been alerted to the scuffle, what probably happened was that the others had heard too, chased the bastard off, and taken him to get medical attention.
Just him, by the look of things, since even with his glasses off, he could tell from the colour and basic shape of things that there was no-one else on the beds; Coco hadn't been injured, oh thank goodness. Still, though, he didn't want to make a habit of needing to be carried unconscious to the medical spire in front of his apprentices, twice was already far too many.
And damnit … with the fact that they likely would have prioritised his safety over apprehending that Brim, that meant that his chance at getting another lead was gone. He couldn't really afford to get his hopes up, what with his predicament, but still, that didn't mean he enjoyed being disappointed, damnit, damnit-
“Don't think too hard, you’ll hurt yourself. Be nice to poor Sinocia.”
Ah.
“Olly …”
He hadn't noticed him here. Then again, he hadn't been wearing his glasses, so that made some kind of sense. When did he get here?
“It’s quiet today other than you, so she and the rest of the staff are taking a break while they can. She wasn’t expecting you to be awake quite so soon.” The blob of black in his vision that was Olruggio vaguely shrugged. “Not that I’m complaining, though. How are you feeling?”
“... Alright enough, all things considered.”
… Damnit, not only had his new lead slipped through his fingers, but this meant that Olruggio had probably seen his glasses again. He knew that something was wrong (assuming he wasn't always at least suspecting it, he should be far too smart to think that Qifrey was a good person), and Qifrey would have to erase his memory again. He had been hoping that it would at least take longer than this until the next time.
He was so tired of this … he’d do it, he'd have to, but he’d been so tired for so long … if it didn't mean breaking their promise, he’d have stopped this in its tracks so many times, but Olruggio would never forgive him for it …
Olruggio himself just hummed, ‘knowingly’, in that way that made Qifrey’s blood scream with guilt and anguish because he didn't know, he couldn't know-
“Just ‘alright enough’? That's a bit disappointing, honestly. I was hoping the feeling would hit you faster than that.”
… Any … thing? Eh?
“Although I guess that's its own kind of relief, in a way. That you’d gotten used enough to it that you didn't even notice it anymore. That you haven't been hurting too bad. Depressing, but still, a relief.”
… Qifrey wasn't sure if it was just the drugs making the words hard to understand, but he was sure that they weren't helping. It had been a long time since he was on this side of an information gap with Olruggio; he was learning that he didn't like it in either direction.
“What … are you talking about, Olly?”
He fumbled around for his glasses at his bedside, and thankfully found them quickly enough; Olruggio came into focus looking … not unkind, but firm.
“What do you think I'm talking about, Qifrey?”
… He felt his stomach flip.
(Honestly … from what Olruggio had said so far … he did have one theory. Quiet. Ridiculous. Fueled by addled thoughts and vain hope that somehow hadn't been stamped out of him entirely. Dismissed out of hand and pushed down down down, because in the likely event that he was wrong, then either literally or figuratively, it would kill him, and he wasn't ready, he'd never be ready.
He'd learned better by now than to just blindly trust that his dreams could come true.)
After a few seconds of him sitting in silence and probably looking rather stupid, Olruggio sighed. The warm sigh where he’d tried and failed to sound annoyed, but only succeeded in sounding disgustingly fond.
Qifrey felt his stomach flip once again and-
“The silverwood, Qifrey.”
And then felt it drop through the fucking floor.
Eye wide, heart stopped, the whole world shrunk down to this room, to the two of them alone, to the weight of those words.
… To … to Olruggio’s words from before as well. Because … because that meant … th-that … meant …
Olruggio just … smiled at him. The smile he gave when he’d solved a problem that had been plaguing him for weeks right before the deadline, only to discover that he’d missed a fun day out while holed up with his efforts.
Satisfied, certainly, but … sad.
“... Yeah, we … had no idea what that Brim had been trying to do to you. The girls were freaking out a little-” Qifrey felt his heart twang through the feeling of reality tilting on its axis around him- “-so we brought you straight here to make sure you’d be alright, to check everything.”
He'd been making his way over to Qifrey’s bed while he spoke. Qifrey was struggling to muster the energy to follow him with his gaze. He just … kept staring, paralysed, unblinking, unseeing, un-
Unreal. This wasn't real. It couldn't possibly be real.
Olruggio laid his hand on Qifrey’s. So much gentler than any stranger could ever guess him to be.
His hand was warm. Rough. Weighty. Real.
… Real?
“... While digging around to fix you up, Sinocia found those roots in you. She tore them out and burned them. Every. Last. Inch.”
He sounded proud. Qifrey’s hands were starting to tremble.
Olruggio wouldn't lie about this. He couldn't know to lie about this. And even if he did know … he would never be this cruel.
So … s-so …
“Although from your reaction … there goes any shot of that being from that Brim, eh? You knew about it long before I said it. So this has been simmering in the background for a while, then. And … I have a feeling I know when you found out. And I know you know what my theory is, eh, ‘partner’?”
… Qifrey wasn't ready for this. Oh stars, he hadn't been ready for this. Not like this, not for potentially years, probably not ever.
He felt sick. He felt sick.
He had been treated by Sinocia … in the Great Hall … oh, of course, that was just his luck, wasn't it? The luckiest moment of his life, and it came in the worst possible way. He'd cry if he could convince his body to emote.
“I … I can't stay, then.”
Olruggio hummed, raising an eyebrow in slight annoyance. It probably sounded like a deflection, a topic change, and … yes, to a certain extent, it was, but truly, Qifrey's mind was running fast enough to burn (he certainly felt like he was burning) and legitimately getting stuck at what felt like every stage.
He'd dreamed for years of the moment this hell would be over, and he could give Olruggio the life he deserved. And now it was apparently, somehow, here and he still couldn't do it. What a joke. Olruggio deserved better than the life he'd forced him into, but now he could be free, and the last thing he wanted was to keep dragging him down with him.
“They know now … now that Sinocia has seen it, she would have to report it … they know that I've been touched by forbidden magic, I can't stay, the Knights are going to cast me out like a criminal.”
He was frankly shocked that they hadn't come for him already; he would have been easy pickings, unconscious and drugged up besides. But Sinocia must have put her foot down with them to keep her spire conflict-free, or delayed her report for the same purpose, or something, but either way, he wouldn't have much time left now-
It didn't feel fair, the whole reason why he’d never even checked if the Great Hall could do this in theory was because he didn't want to risk this, he’d wanted to get that goddamn parasite out of him and then keep living as Master Qifrey for as long as he could cast, and stars, he didn't blame Olruggio and the girls for doing what they did, they were scared and they didn't know (Coco knew, but she would have been outvoted, or otherwise too scared of what might have been happening to know that this was so much worse), but that choice had been ripped from his hands and his life was over as soon as it had really began and he wanted to scream and and and-
“No they won't.”
… What?
“Eh?”
Olruggio had said it with such casual assuredness that Qifrey almost couldn't help but believe him wholeheartedly, despite knowing better that what he was suggesting was ludicrous.
What did he mean ‘no they won't’, how could they possibly-?
“And you don't know you were touched by forbidden magic either.” What. “Just because it was a silverwood tree, and hell, even just because it was done by a Brim, it doesn't mean there was magic involved in what was done to you.”
Thoughts still sputtering uselessly, Qifrey just stared at him like he wasn’t saying anything comprehensible anymore (probably because he wasn’t). Olruggio smirked as quick as a flash before his expression settled again, as he made himself comfortable on the chair like they somehow had all the time in the world.
“There's nothing magical about silverwoods until the woodcruor is refined. For all anyone knows, they could have just force-fed you that shit the old-fashioned way, no magic involved at all. And as shitty as the Knights can be sometimes, they're not going to erase a witch’s memory like that unless they're damn well certain. So … yeah. You're in the clear on that front, pretty comfortably. I made sure to check on that myself.”
… Huh. Okay, that … did make some kind of sense. Huh.
Huh.
A tension he’d kept wrapped up tight for most of his memory was slowly starting to come undone.
Instinctively, he tried to brace himself against the relief, summoning all the dark thoughts he could muster to try and fight off the inevitable … only for the inevitable to not come. It didn’t hurt. He was safe and it didn’t hurt.
… It … didn’t hurt …
… And … he was safe?
Just like that? The silverwood was gone (it still didn't feel real, it still didn't feel real), the Knights would be leaving him be (besides anything to do with Easthies’ vaguely unhinged grudge against poor Coco), and the only thing that he would have to worry about was his-
“You're safe on the eye front, too.”
He felt his breath hitch in instinctive dread once again. Olruggio just let out a bark of laughter.
“Yes, genius, I saw your glasses. And Sinocia confirmed with her check on your eye itself. We know, and we've made plans. Beldaruit talked to Deanreldy and called in a few favours. The great and honourable king-” he spoke with exaggerated finger quotes, and despite the war being waged over Qifrey's sanity, he couldn't help but snort- “-is confident that he can fix your eye up, too. Apparently, much longer and it would've been too far gone, but right now, a day in surgery and some weeks in bed and you'll be right as rain.”
Olruggio blinked.
“Well. Maybe a bad simile to use when you're involved, but you know what I mean.”
He smiled that boyish smile and maybe it was the drugs or the sheer surreal delirium of the situation or both, but Qifrey laughed. Fully. He couldn't remember the last time he did that.
The laughter turned into tears at one point, but he wasn't sure if they were related, or if his body was just tired of holding anything back.
He'd get to keep his sight. He'd get to stay a witch. One way or another, he never imagined he’d be able to see the girls growing out of their baby fat, or Olruggio growing into his grey hairs (far sooner than he should, most likely), but what was once nothing but a dream was now apparently his by right. He had no idea how to process that, and so, all he could do was laugh.
“Th-thank goodness … oh, thank goodness that it's over …”
It was … hard to fathom. But Olruggio was saying it, and Olruggio wouldn’t lie, so … it was true. Leagues beyond his most optimistic dreams, but … somehow … true.
No more silverwood. No more blindness hanging over his head like an executioner's blade. No more threat of the knights branding him a criminal for merely being abused as a child.
No more-
“Well. Mostly.”
Olruggio was stern again. Stern and … hurt. It killed Qifrey's joy in his throat.
“I'd say there's still … one more thing to resolve. And … you know what that is, don't you, partner?”
… Dread settled in his gut, heavy as a boulder. He nodded meekly, feeling much like a child again.
The child in the tree. Screaming, crying, terrified, begging, helpless to make it stop but desperate, so desperate to just disappear quietly without hurting anyone (so shamefully, shamefully desperate to live).
The child willfully deaf to the pleas of his voice, but far too aware of the shame beneath. Drawing the spell, swapping the tassels, smiling, either not fully understanding or not caring about the sheer weight of what he was doing, as long as it meant he could protect what he for some reason held dear.
Olruggio was still that child, in all the best ways. Qifrey feared that he was still that child in all the worst.
Olruggio sat down by Qifrey's bedside, but Qifrey couldn't meet his eyes. They sat in silence for seconds that stretched like centuries, painfully and abnormally at a loss for what to say.
Qifrey begged in his mind for Olruggio to hit him. To yell. To hate. To understand what had to have happened for all these years, to understand how monstrous and selfish and unworthy of him Qifrey was, and walk away and never look back. To say that he was taking the girls with him, so Qifrey could never hurt them either, because even with the situation having passed, Olruggio didn't trust him one bit anymore and he was damn well right to.
But when the silence was eventually broken, none of that happened.
“... So … you knew. For years, you knew. Since that damned tower, you knew.” He paused, and Qifrey realised after a while that he was asking for one final confirmation of a theory that had likely never been a theory at all; timidly, he nodded, and remained too scared to see Olruggio’s reaction, but he continued smoothly like Qifrey didn’t deserve to stew alone in the silence for a while, stew in the guilt of every breath he’d taken since that day until it all rotted him from the inside out. “And you never told anyone. Not … not even me. Is that because you couldn't trust me? Or … because having that confirmation that there's nothing that could make me not be on your side would bring you too much comfort for you to be safe from that thing?”
He spoke like he knew the answer already. Like he at least suspected the answer behind the answer.
But … somehow he didn't mind. His voice stayed warm, calm, affectionate. He meant what he said and he said what he meant, and there truly was nothing that could make him view Qifrey as anything less than a good man.
Because Olruggio was kind. He was so kind and he was so good, and in this way and only this way, he was so horrifyingly stupid.
(Qifrey, the thief. Qifrey, the selfish shitty monster. Qifrey, the shapeless void of lies masquerading as a human being. Qifrey, Qifrey, Qifrey-)
Qifrey started to cry.
He bit hard on his lip as it wobbled, and just stared blankly as the tears fell.
Olruggio chuckled softly as he pulled the glasses from Qifrey's nose and began gently wiping the tears away.
“Yep. Figured it was that second one.”
He took advantage of his hand’s proximity to flick him in the forehead. Equally gently. He was always so gentle, too gentle, it made the tears keep streaming down uselessly.
He hated rain. Oh, how he hated rain.
“You're a right idiot, you know that, right? But … I guess I should be thankful for that, in a way. If you’d understood that part earlier without me needing to say it out loud, then that thing would've killed you a long time ago. So … I guess, thanks for being a dumbass.”
… Th-that wasn't fair …
“... Th-that's not it … y-you … I-I …”
It squeaked its way out of Qifrey on unsteady breaths; he wondered for a second if Olruggio had heard him, but either way, he had his hand softly on Qifrey's back, encouraging him to breathe.
In … out … in … out …
… Prepare. This part might … really ruin everything. But … it needed to be said. Olruggio deserved better than lies, especially now that they weren't necessary anymore. And … Qifrey was so tired of them.
The one lie that Olruggio had ever told him. It had sat, forever, like poison in his blood and bones. He wanted it gone. Regardless of what it meant for him, he wanted it gone.
In … out … in …
“... That's not it. It's… not the first time you've told me. And … it's not the first time you've heard about this. Nowhere near it.”
His heart was beating in a nauseating rhythm. He stared at his hands as he wrung them nervously. He couldn't look Olruggio in the eyes.
… Breathe …
“... You found out. So, so many times, you found out. I could never keep it a secret from you for long. And when you did, I-I-”
Oh.
“It would grow, and you would see, and you would know what to do, and it was horrible, and-”
Oh, the breathing wasn't working.
“And you made me promise, so many times, to just live, and you were the same every time, even after I-”
Oh, that was unfortunate. He'd never had a chance to truly talk about this before, so … he didn't know how hard it was to hold back everything at once.
Will you see me now, at least, Olruggio? Will this make you understand? Will you put yourself over the parasite, just this once?
“I-I-I, I-”
“Ah.”
He … wasn't angry.
Either he didn't understand what Qifrey was saying in his incoherent babbling, or he once again didn't understand that he should protect himself from something like Qifrey, the precious being of stardust and gold that he was. But either way, his voice stayed soft; maybe a bit sadder this time, horribly, but soft. And his hand didn't move away from Qifrey at all.
Oh, how he adored this man. Oh, how this man made him want to scream.
“... Ah. Yeah, that … that makes sense, doesn't it? Should have guessed it was something like that.”
His low tones rumbled through Qifrey, comforting and devastating all in one. After giving Qifrey back his glasses, he drew his hand away shyly and Qifrey wanted to sob, chase the touch, give it back, please, but he had just enough self-control and shame to not.
“Don't- … well … ‘don’t worry about it’ is stupid advice, but … try not to worry about it. I get it. Of course that wouldn't have been your idea. I know that there's no way in hell that you’d ever want to hurt me.”
Something in Qifrey's chest painfully cracked open in that moment. Breaking and healing and breaking and healing, overwhelming and suffocating.
Olruggio meant that. Oh stars, he meant that. Qifrey had no idea how he could possibly mean that, but he did, and his trust after all of this felt more like magic than anything woodcruor could ever muster.
And oh, he was so painfully sincere once he got like this, so quiet and vulnerable, (it had been so long since he was like this), there was no way you could guess that he'd been the one to teach Qifrey how to lie.
… He could stop lying. Oh stars, he really could stop lying, he could finally stop-!
“That was … a really shitty thing I put you through, huh?”
Olruggio laughed mirthlessly, and Qifrey just choked on his own breath.
“O-Olly-!”
Olruggio raised a finger to Qifrey's lips, and with that, his words abruptly went silent along with the rest of his thoughts.
“Lemme finish, Qifrey.”
Still not angry, but the closest he'd gotten to it; an exasperated growl.
Oh. Oh, Qifrey could be normal about this. Yes. Certainly. Absolutely.
“I wish it didn't have to happen. Obviously. I wish there had been a better solution. I wish you didn't have to suffer like that, and I wish that I'd never had any part in your suffering besides making it easier. But-”
He grabbed Qifrey by the chin to make him face him, and Qifrey continued to be quite normal about it, thank you very much.
(... Oh, who was he kidding-)
Olruggio's expression was firm. His eyes blazing. Qifrey could get lost in those oceans quite happily.
“You're here. You're still alive because of it. Because of the choices I made for you, and your unwillingness to budge from them. You fought like hell for your life, and that shitty thing I did to you was the kindling for it. So … I don't regret it. Nothing could ever make me regret it. Especially not on my side of things. A few memories here and there is a pittance to pay for your life. I'd give so much more than that, anything, if it meant keeping you by my side for the rest of our lives.”
… Qifrey's face felt just a bit too warm. He couldn't blink. He couldn't even think.
He was dreaming. He had to be. That Brim had killed him and he'd somehow ended up in heaven. There was no other explanation for this. He could have never imagined this in his wildest dreams.
Coco’s head was spinning from the impact against the ground.
… H-He was just misinterpreting what Olruggio was saying, that was all, surely, surely.
She’d thought that Master Qifrey had been acting a bit strange these last few hours. The presence of a Brimmed Cap helped explain why. It was a good thing she'd followed him, he shouldn't have to deal with them alone, but she was upset at him for not asking for help, if not from her than at least from Master Olruggio.
Hypocrite. He was such a hypocrite.
Although she was embarrassed that, even after coming to try and help, she’d needed help so quickly. But at least Master Qifrey had gotten them away from that weird energy blast before it could hit them. And there was a lull in the assault for now; she took the chance to breathe, since she probably wouldn't get another any time soon.
“D- … Don't … say it like that …”
The words emerged in a squeak, shier and smaller than he'd felt in years. Olruggio always had a way of making him feel like that little boy again, dazzled by his radiance and following along like a duckling, even though Qifrey knew that he couldn't understand the depth and tenor of that feeling.
Even though he knew that he never felt quite the same. Even though he wanted him to not feel the same, because the alternative felt just so cruel.
(Most of the time, at least. On shameful nights, particularly lonely nights, he let himself wonder, just for a little while, what it would be like. It never lasted long, both from shame and … imminent death, but he wasn’t exactly a stranger to either one. A small, selfish moment of joy here and there hadn’t felt like anything too egregious.)
But … that was then. With so much hanging over their heads, with so much in their way. Qifrey couldn't afford to think about the future too much or it would literally kill him, and poor Olruggio was left confused but painfully honourbound to the millstone around his neck. And now … there was nothing in their ways. They were free, both of them, to have, to dream, to want.
And now … he wanted. So quickly, the best-case scenario he’d let himself seriously consider for years now just didn’t quite feel like enough anymore. And it terrified him. It terrified him, disgusted him, how quickly he wanted more, wanted everything.
Wanted to be wanted like … that.
She climbed out of his hold to face him while she spoke; she was probably about to get a lecture about caution again.
“S-Sorry about that … but … thank you, Ma-”
She could feel her heart stop.
And Olruggio just … blinked. Confused at Qifrey's confusion, like he'd said absolutely nothing worth raising an eyebrow at in the slightest.
“Like what?”
… This was just him. His devotion. His earnestness. He didn't, couldn't, understand what he'd just said, what it meant to someone as mindbogglingly pathetic as Qifrey, he couldn't possibly.
The alternative was … it was …
No lecture was coming. She numbly realised, too late, that his grip had been easier to escape than it should have been.
He was still in the same curled, protective position he’d assumed around her. But the curl was limp. He was entirely limp. Jaw slack and only vaguely twitching.
Watery eye devoid of light.
“... Master?”
She couldn't raise her voice above a whisper. For a few seconds, she tried to convince herself that it was some horrible dream.
And then the seconds passed. Her stopped heart started to race in her chest.
“Master?!”
“B … B-’By my side for the rest of our lives’ … it's just … that sounds like …”
… Olruggio blinked at him. Slowly. Once. Twice. A neutral stare, mostly, but with something like amusement creeping into his face more with every passing second.
Amusement and his own blush, which made Qifrey's thoughts grind even further to a screeching halt.
She shook his shoulders frantically with unsteady hands, but he stayed so horribly unresponsive. She couldn't fight back a whimper.
“Master, please, wake up, say something, please!”
Still nothing. He just kept staring off into nothingness, somewhere far away from here.
Somewhere she couldn't follow.
“... It … sounds … like …”
His whispers were barely audible. His heart didn't seem to know whether to pound harder or stop, and was somehow doing both at once in a manner that would probably get a concerned examination from Sinocia.
He felt oddly sick, but … not in a bad way. Not in the way he'd gotten used to, the way that meant pain and danger. This was … new.
… No, no that wasn't right. This was an old feeling. It was just … something he was relearning, now that he could.
She heard the Brimmed Cap laugh. And she saw red.
“What did you do to him?!” Her hands continued to shake as she flipped her palm quire to the combat spells; she felt so tiny, but she couldn't back down now, not with her master defenceless behind her. “What did you do?!”
She'd never heard of a spell that could k-kill someone on impact like that. So it couldn't be that. Surely. He was okay, just unconscious. He wasn’t … h-he couldn't be-
“I didn't kill him, if that's what you were wondering.” The Brimmed Cap shrugged, smug and infuriatingly at ease. Coco refused to take her pen away from her palm quire.
(It settled in like rot, the realisation that he’d stopped attacking once it was just her. The realisation that he'd calmed down significantly once it was just her. It meant that he didn't see her as a threat. It meant that when he’d attacked her before, it was only because he saw it as an easier way to get to Master Qifrey. She wanted to cry.)
But … it … it just … wasn't possible … was it? After all of this, especially? If it was, then …
I-If it was … th-then …
There was a small noise behind her, but she didn't want to take her eyes off the Brimmed Cap for a second. She hoped that it was Master Qifrey coming to consciousness again. If it wasn't, then … there wasn't much she could do. So she just prayed. Oh, she prayed.
“... Like what, Qifrey?”
Olruggio spoke in that low rumble again that did wonderful and terrible things to his heart. Quiet and shy, but with a wobbly yet distinctly teasing smile, and an undertone of something else that Qifrey couldn't recognise but instantly knew that he wanted more of.
More, more, more-
“All I did, ‘child of hope’, is what you Pointed Caps claim to do.”
… She didn't know what that meant, but … something about it made her heart sink.
Breathe … breathe … b-breathe …
“And … what is that?”
Olruggio's hand was on the back of Qifrey's head. Stars, he really was so warm-
“Like … this?”
And nothing else in Qifrey's entire world existed besides that hand, those eyes sparkling like water in the moonlight, those lips curling in a small but fond smile …
Under the brim, she could see him grin, the teeth of a hunter, less speaking the answer and more letting the words ride like a song of triumph as he bowed like an actor at the curtain call.
“Bring happiness.”
Those lips … those lips … on his …
Small and chaste and shy, but here, right here, like he belonged here, like he completed him … and Qifrey couldn’t put it into words even if he could think straight …
… So … s-so … warm … so good … so-
Short. Too short. Olruggio pulled himself back just a bit, but enough to feel like a profound loss; Qifrey's head briefly shot forward to chase him as he bit back a downright pathetic whine.
More. More, more, please, more, don't go-
… What? What did that … what? That had to be some kind of lie, right? Even if that spell existed, what kind of use would it have in a fight? Especially against a witch as powerful as Master Qi-
Master Qifrey.
Olruggio's hand stayed, gentle, at the back of Qifrey's head, playing with his hair. He laughed as softly as a hug and smiled like the sun.
The meaning came to her with horrific clarity. It must have been written on her face; the Brimmed Cap laughed and it rang like a death knell.
“I love you, Qifrey.”
“Weeeelp. My work here is done. Ta-ta for now, child of hope!”
And he vanished. Leaving only the sounds of his echoing laughter and Coco’s struggling breaths.
And the noises behind her.
… The words hadn't even been spoken for a second before Qifrey had turned them over and over in his mind enough to make himself want to cry.
How could anyone possibly be this blessed? And how could that person ever have been him?
The noises were getting louder, although she wasn't sure if that was literal or her mind playing tricks. They were gaining a shape in her mind as they crackled behind her, sounding too much like the snapping jaws of a predator.
She knew what it was now. She just prayed, prayed that she wasn't right. She prayed that when she turned around, it wouldn't be to the end of the world.
“I've loved you for as long as I can remember. And … I always wanted to tell you, but even when I didn't know what was going on, I knew that something was holding you back. So I stayed as quiet as I could. Keeping my distance even as little as I was felt like fuckin’ torture, lemme tell you. But now … there's nothing holding you back anymore, yeah? So … I don't want to hold myself back anymore, either. I've been waiting years for this, you know?”
“... So have I.”
She turned, and her prayers meant nothing.
Qifrey hadn't blinked in what felt like years, but at that tiny whisper, it was Olruggio's turn to falter in shock, just for a moment. Qifrey had no idea how injured he’d been by that Brim, but in that moment, it was all gone, nothing mattered at all.
Olruggio had always been a much more patient man than Qifrey. Qifrey simply grabbed Olruggio with all the strength he had, brought him crashing right back into their kiss, and devoured him like a starving man with the sweetest ambrosia.
It wasn't far off the truth.
The silverwood towered over her already, and only grew by the second. And at its core, dead to the world, Master Qifrey was lazily smiling in the way that only a man too far gone could.
There was a scream like a dying animal. Coco realised only when it burned her throat that it was coming from her.
Olruggio chuckled fondly into Qifrey’s mouth before returning the sentiment in kind, just as relieved and desperate as he was. Awkward and clumsy in the way all consummate virgins were, but ravenous and warm and here and everything that Qifrey had ever dreamed he would be in those shameful lonely evenings with nothing but his fantasies to hold him through the night.
“I love you” fell from him in a moan as Olruggio ran his tongue all around his teeth, memorising him like a map to a great treasure. Qifrey committed his taste to memory, feeling himself get drunk from it, from his fervent prayers to a god on high, “I love you, I love you, I love you”.
I'm so tired of taking things from you. But that's over now. Now, it's your turn to take. So please, take, take anything, take everything, body and soul, it's yours, oh Olly, my Olly, I’ve always been yours.
He could die here, he realised, as Olruggio pulled him close enough to bury him in his skin. He could die and it would all be worth it. For this moment, just this moment, warm and good and right and perfect and-
“M-Master! MASTER!”
She shot herself towards him, fueled entirely by adrenaline as she tore the bark apart with her bare hands while it grew, to try and pull him back out, and if not that, just to try to keep his face in view a bit longer.
It hurt like nothing else. It was so much stronger than her; she was literally fighting nature right now. It wasn't even accomplishing anything; anything she could pull off grew back just as fast, stronger, she couldn't get enough leverage or room to pull him out no matter what she tried, she was losing this war and it wasn't even close. But she didn't care. She couldn't stop. She couldn't let it end like this.
“Master Qifrey! MASTER QIFREY!”
“Master Qifrey, Master Qifrey~!”
A-Ah, u-um-!
Three eyes flew open at once as the two of them instantly pulled away, gasping for air. Qifrey hurriedly adjusted his glasses to something resembling their standard position; Olruggio wiped a trail of spit from his mouth with his sleeve, and Qifrey tried and failed to be spectacularly normal about it.
Oh stars, he’s really mine. I’m really his. I'm the luckiest man in the world-
F-Focus-
R-Right. Right. They weren't literally the only two people in the world. That was … y-yes. Um. Quite-
“Master Olruggio, is Master Qifrey awake yet-?”
Without waiting for an answer, Coco poked her little face around the door to the healing spire. Evidently, they hadn't done a fantastic job at cleaning up after themselves in the 0.5 seconds they’d had at their disposal, given how swiftly she went blaze bean red and covered her face with her hands.
Ah. Unfortunate. Mildly embarrassing. But at least it was just one-
It appeared he wasn't done being a liar yet, with Tetia poking her head out to follow.
“Oh, good morning, Master Qifrey! Your hair’s all messy, did you have a nightmare? Sinocia said you might. Good thing Master Olruggio is here to help!”
W-Well then, um-
Richeh next, because of course, all of this good luck had to be balanced out somehow.
“Master Qifrey has Master Olly oll over. Finally.” As stoic as ever, she threw her arm into the door with a deadpan thumbs up and a not-quiet-enough ‘nice’; Brushbuddy, curled around that same arm, offered a mimicked thumbs up despite having no thumbs.
Tetia looked over to Richeh in a vague bafflement, Coco pushed her hands closer to her face, and Qifrey was going to burn alive. Stars help him, stars help them-
Agott last, because of course. But at least she pulled herself away from the sight quickly (even if it was with a squeak).
“C-Come on, let's back off, give them their space!”
Just as quickly, she pulled all the girls back into the hallway by the scruffs of their necks, and oh, Qifrey would be making her favourite meals for a while after this; the last sight to disappear was Richeh's arm, still outstretched in a thumbs up with Brushbuddy alongside, before the vaguely mortified chatter in the halls eventually trailed off into silence as well.
And the two of them were alone again. Equally mortified. Skin blushing hot enough to burn. Olruggio chuckled in awkward laughter, probably at a loss as to what to do after that.
He still wasn't responding. Please, god, no-
Qifrey was in the same position. He didn't blame them for it, of course, but … that had profoundly thrown the two of them off. And the girls shouldn't be seeing that anyway. They’d need to keep that in mind for when they did anything similar in future.
… Qifrey paused. He felt the thought settle, all euphoria and dread.
“P-Please, Master Qifrey, whatever you're seeing, don't believe it! It's fake and it's killing you! Don't you want to make it happen for real?! Well, you can't if you give in here! Please listen to me! Please don't go! Please don't go!”
The tears were flooding out of her now as she pounded her fists against flesh and wood both.
‘In … future’. There was … a future, now, right?
… Right? That was … right?
She thought that he saw his face twitch out of that drugged smile, just for a second. She clung to it like a lifeline.
“Th-That's it! That's it, Master, stay with me, just stay with me-!”
Olruggio saw him and frowned, the ghost of a blush still dusting his cheeks.
“H-Huh? What's wrong, Qifrey?”
… Nothing was wrong. And that was … kind of the problem. He had … absolutely no idea what to do, what to feel, when nothing was wrong. He was lost.
He was … scared.
“So … it really is all … okay, now? Everything … everything that's weighed on me for most of my living memory … it really was all just … fixed while I slept?”
Olruggio blinked in confusion for a second at what the problem with that was, but he’d always been a smart man; it visibly didn't take him long to realise what Qifrey was feeling, or at least have that as one vague theory out of many.
“That's … basically the long and short of it, yeah.”
Qifrey clenched his fists around his blankets, trying to add one more texture to the catalogue of today, trying to compare it to his memory of the thing.
Trying to confirm that this was real.
“Is it … really possible for it to be that easy?”
Olruggio responded to that vaguely haunted whisper with a sympathetic frown resembling pity, and it made Qifrey's blood feel somewhat sour in his veins.
“Qifrey, nothing about any of this has been easy. You’ve lived a hard life, and now, that part of it is over. You don't have to fight to survive anymore. Now, you can finally relax, finally live. Isn't that enough?”
Qifrey bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed, just to feel that too.
“I want it to be. I want that so badly that it hurts, Olly. But … it all came so suddenly. I've been living like this for years, and finally everything I've ever wanted is just thrust in my lap, and I didn't even have to do anything for it? I didn't even see it? It's … hard to trust.”
His hands shook in the blankets. He tried to breathe.
It was so abrupt, so anticlimactic, so apparently easy to fix, that it made all those years of torment feel … almost silly, in a sad way. Like he’d been going through hell for nothing, hurting Olruggio for nothing, for something that was solved by people other than him in a matter of days as soon as they knew. By comparison, Qifrey had had decades with no progress in sight; it made him feel small and incompetent and somehow even more monstrous. And … that was the best-case scenario.
“I want to trust it. I've been dreaming of it for so long, but … that’s just it. It had always been a dream. Something far away, on days when it even felt possible at all. And now it's here and- … and it doesn't feel real. I don't know what to do.”
What else could she do, what else, what else-?!
He choked on a breath. His voice felt wet.
“I'm scared, Olly. I’m so happy, and that’s exactly why I’m so scared. I’m scared that this really is too good to be true. I'm scared that this is a dream. I'm scared that I'll wake up, and that damn tree is still going to be haunting me, and I'll still have to face going blind, and you won't love me after all because damnit you really shouldn't, and I'll have to keep hurting you if I want to stay alive, a-and-”
Olruggio's hand was on his, gently prying the fingers away from the blanket to fit his fingers in the gaps instead.
A warm hand. A craftsman’s hand. Strong and steady. Real, real, please be real.
U-Um-
“H-How about this?!”
She launched the spell she’d prepped the Brimmed Cap at the roots of the tree. Nowhere near Master Qifrey, she’d made sure; her aim was true, cast with pure purpose.
The other hand lightly pinched Qifrey’s arm.
“Let him GO-!”
The roots were set alight.
And Qifrey winced.
And Master Qifrey screeched.
It was the kind of agony Coco never wanted to hear again. She yelped as she drew the fastest water spell she'd ever drawn. The fire was doused as the roots writhed, and Master Qifrey was left shivering in the bark with the little movement he had left to him.
“S-Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry, Master, I'm sorry-!”
B-But … oh no … what do you mean she couldn't hurt the tree without hurting him? She couldn't damage the tree … and she couldn't pull him out of the tree … so what could she-?
The roots regrew. Faster than ever, like all she’d done was feed them. The treetop was becoming lush with silver, blotting out the sun.
He winced, but … he didn't wake up.
Master Qifrey’s brief approach towards lucidity had slipped away as quickly as it had come. He was smiling again. He was disappearing. And all she could do was stare. Her hands frozen in place, her legs trembling.
Was there … really nothing she could do?
A sigh of relief shuddered out of him as Olruggio chuckled softly.
“It's alright, you know. I knew as soon as I figured out what had been hanging over you for all these years, that it would probably take a while for you to feel it with your whole heart. But … I swear to you, it is real. All of it. You're safe now, Qifrey. And I'll help you truly believe it one day. I promise.”
… And Olruggio never broke his promises.
She was trying, she was really trying to think of something different, something better, but … there was nothing.
… Oh god … there was nothing …
“... I-I’m sorry …”
She couldn't hear herself over the sound of growth, but she could just about tell she was still speaking. A tiny, useless whimper as the tears fell like rain.
Emotionally wrung out from all the highs and lows since he’d woken up, Qifrey collapsed forward into Olruggio's chest.
“... ‘kay … I trust you …”
He felt Olruggio's chest rumble slightly with laughter as he gently laid him back in bed, putting his glasses back on the table.
“Good. I can't wait for when you're back home. We’ve had so much time stolen from us by that stupid tree that we need to get back. I can't wait for you to be able to live as a human being. I can't wait for the rest of our lives together.”
“I'm sorry … I'm sorry … I'm sorry …”
He’d trusted her with his secret, and she couldn't even protect him from it. She couldn't even scream for him anymore. Her knees collapsed beneath her, and all she could do was watch as magic consumed another person she loved.
She just prayed that … wherever he was, he wasn't hurting anymore. She prayed that that would be enough to make this feel less like what it was.
He caressed Qifrey’s face. Qifrey hummed, endlessly satisfied, leaning into the touch like a pampered little thing, all sharpness and resistance a lifetime away.
Emotional exhaustion was quickly turning physical. Between that and the medicines, keeping his eye open was a struggle, but he wanted to keep looking at his Olly for as long as he could.
“... Just … stay. Please, Qifrey? Stay with me forever.”
… As sweet as ever …
“Please … come back … M-Master … please … ”
… He’s always known his answer. And now he could finally choose … he couldn't imagine choosing anything else.
“Always … forever, my star …”
His awareness fading, he heard a soft snort of laughter. He felt the press of lips and beard against his forehead, impossibly tender.
“You sappy old thing. But it's alright now. I've got you. It's all over now.”
She just … sat there. Watching the wind flutter the leaves, without really seeing much of anything. Waiting to be found. Waiting to feel something other than despair. Waiting to be told that it would be okay, even though she knew damn well that it never would be again.
The last things he felt as sleep claimed him were Olruggio's hand holding his, and a smile creeping across his tired face.
A sigh. A breath, held for almost his entire living memory tightly enough to make his hands bleed, released at last. Relief at last. Peace at last.
Sorry, everyone. Sorry, Master. Sorry, Mom.
It's over now … all of it … it's … all over …