Chapter Text
🍂 Nick 🍂
When Nick walks into the library in search of a replacement for his lost textbook, he's not expecting to find his mate Ben kissing a boy in a dark corner.
It's surprising, that's all. Anyone would be surprised. That's why his feet are glued to the carpet, why he can't stop staring.
Before they know they have an audience, they pull apart slightly, faces still tilted towards each other. Ben is saying something that Nick can't make out, and the other boy giggles, ducking his head. His glossy curls glint in the sparse light. He looks back up at Ben through his eyelashes, and Ben smiles, almost smugly.
This moment doesn't feel like it should exist inside the walls of Truham Grammar School. Nick feels like he's glimpsing a scene set somewhere softer, where two boys can be in love without any weight on their shoulders, where it's as expected as tulips in the spring. The boy with the curly hair is looking at Ben with such open admiration, grateful to be the subject of his attention. Their fingertips are entwined as they lean towards each other again.
It's so intimate. It's too intimate. Nick is intruding.
He's abruptly brought back down to earth, aware that he's been standing here, watching the two of them without their knowledge. Sweat prickles on the back of his neck, and he gulps dryly. The guilt jolts him into regaining control of his feet, and Nick spins in the direction of the exit, narrowly avoiding tripping over his shoelaces. He can share a textbook, he can write a copy by hand, he can fail that class if it means escaping the library now.
But the movement catches the pair's attention. As they look up, Nick locks gazes with the other boy, whose eyes widen. They're blue, Nick registers distantly. They're astonishingly blue eyes.
Several things happen at once. Nick jumps, moving towards the corridor, at the same time that Ben springs backwards, flinging the boy's hand away. He catches Nick's eye and pales, his mouth forming soundless words.
The other boy looks between the two of them in panic and rushes forward to catch Nick before he can leave, grabbing his arm.
"Wait! It's— Is it— Nick, is it?" he stammers, piercing eyes fixed intently on Nick's.
"Yeah," he replies, eyebrows furrowed. "Have we... met?" Nick feels like he would have remembered that.
"No." The other boy laughs, but it's a choked, panicked sound. "You're Rugby King Nick Nelson, everyone knows you."
"Oh." Nick flinches at the title, embarrassed, and his eyes drop to the hand holding him in place.
Those fingers, a vise on his arm, that had so recently been delicately tangled with Ben's. Those lips, pleading with him, that had just been pressed against Ben's. He feels dazed.
"Nick, please don't tell," the boy says, breathlessly. When Nick doesn't reply, the boy looks over his shoulder at Ben, who is still frozen in place, and then back again. "Please, please don't tell," he continues, pitch rising with every word. "I'll— I can do your maths homework. I'm good at maths. I can—"
The boy's terror pulls Nick's awareness back into his body. He shakes his head and cuts him off. "No."
"No?" he squeaks.
Nick rushes to clarify: "I mean, no, I won't tell, and you don't need to do my maths homework!"
The other boy heaves a sigh of relief, letting go of Nick's arm to rest his hands on his knees like he just ran a marathon. When Nick glances back, Ben is gone; he must have slipped out the door without either of them noticing.
"What's your name?"
"Charlie."
Charlie, Nick thinks. It suits him.
🍂 Charlie 🍂
After the hell that was Charlie's Year 9, it's hard for him to fathom that this is his reality in Year 10. It's the best his life has ever been. The bullying has mostly stopped, and he has a boyfriend: a cute, cool, Year 11 boyfriend he gets to kiss in stolen moments before classes.
In September, Ben had walked into the music room as Charlie was practicing the drums and upended his life. He called him brave—even though Charlie is far from brave. He barely survived last term, and he didn't have a choice in getting outed. Still, here was this attractive older guy, complimenting him, pressing his knee against Charlie's. While he was still processing the shock of that, Ben kissed him.
Before he was outed, Charlie had assumed he wouldn't be able to date until uni. His plan was just to keep his head down until he graduated, and then he could be out and open once he escaped the suffocating small town that Truham could so often be.
And now, he's 14 and has a boyfriend. Okay, maybe they haven't officially labelled it, but Charlie can tell: this is the start of a big romance. Ben's not ready to be out yet, of course—Charlie wouldn't wish his experience on anyone—but that's fine. What matters is these moments where they can be together, when Charlie feels wanted, like he matters. If someone like Ben thinks Charlie is worth his attention, that has to count for something.
They're kissing in the library before form, which they've done countless times at this point, but Charlie still gets butterflies. Ben pulls away slightly to murmur, "You're so cute," and Charlie blushes, ducking his head as he giggles. He sneaks a peek back at Ben, and he's smiling. Charlie wants to live inside this moment. He wishes the rest of the world would disappear: all the snide homophobic comments, the pressures of coming out. Nothing should be able to interfere with this, with the two of them.
But before he can press his lips to Ben's again, the outside world comes crashing in.
Because there's a boy in the library, who has caught them kissing and is on his way out the door again. Charlie's heart leaps to his throat: he's going to tell. He's going to out Ben and wreck everything. It's going to ruin Ben's life, and Ben's going to blame Charlie, because this is what Charlie does: he ruins people's lives. He's poison. This is his fault. What was he thinking? Why did he think he could have this kind of life, kissing a cute boy in the library? He should have known it would end like this.
Luckily, Charlie can multi-task: he can descend into an anxiety spiral and launch himself across the room to catch the boy before he leaves. He's kind of an expert at narrating his own self-loathing alongside getting things done, thanks to all the hours of practice he's put in.
It's only after he grabs the older boy's arm that Charlie realises that he knows him. Of course. Of all the people to walk into the library this morning, it's Rugby King Nick Nelson. Charlie has never spoken to him, but he's school royalty. Which means he knows everyone. Which means he is the absolute worst choice to be patient zero of a gossip outbreak.
Nick looks down at Charlie's hand on his arm, and Charlie stops himself from rolling his eyes. Is it really so upsetting to be touched by a gay boy? He'd let go, but he doesn't want to risk Nick running off.
But he'd forgotten something about Nick's reputation, which is that despite being rugby captain, despite being fit—unfairly, distractingly fit—and despite being friends with Harry Greene and his whole noxious crew, Nick seems... nice? Maybe?
In any case, he responds to Charlie's escalating panicked pleas and offers to do his maths homework with refusal and assurances—and then he asks Charlie's name.
Which is a surprise, because Charlie figured he would put two and two together that the boy he just caught kissing Ben in the library is Charlie Spring, the only out gay student at Truham. Maybe Nick is somehow the last to know, or maybe he just doesn't care.
"Charlie," he finally answers. He looks up to meet Nick's eyes, and—oh. He could get lost in those warm brown eyes, in a different life. One where he wasn't currently hyperventilating. Charlie checks over his shoulder for Ben, but he's gone.
Nick nods. "Charlie. Nice to meet you."
Charlie can't help tilting his head to give Nick a stunned expression. Yes, "nice to meet you," that is the standard polite reply when you walk in on two guys—one of whom is your closeted friend—making out in the library.
Nick clears his throat, a blush creeping up his neck. "Okay, well, see you around."
As he leaves, Charlie finds himself inexplicably waving at him. Nick smiles and waves back before he disappears into the corridor.
Charlie blinks, standing alone in the darkened room as he tries to process the last few minutes.
See you around? He shakes his head. In what circumstances, exactly, is he going to see Nick Nelson around? He's confident this is the last time they'll speak to each other.
Charlie just hopes that's not also true of Ben.