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“So, about that ideal first date,” says Taako, not looking up from his book. “Catching fireflies?”
You shrug, putting down the sock you’ve been mending. Thankfully, you can still sew with just nine fingers. “First thing that came to mind.”
“It sounds fun,” Taako continues.
“Are you asking me out?” you ask, half-smiling.
“Sorta,” he says, finally looking up and smiling back. “No harm no foul if you do the whole shebang, right? If you ‘take me home and do nothing ‘cause you’re not interested in romance,’ right?”
“Right,” you agree. Why the hell not? With anyone else you might worry that they’d make an unwarranted move, but Taako’s your best friend, and he doesn’t set off your alarms like other people do. He looks the opposite of threatening right now, folding down the corner of a page to mark his place in his book like the goddamn animal he is.
“How about tomorrow?” he asks. All three of you have Director-mandated time off for a while, which you think is the least the Bureau can offer, since your latest adventure literally took ten years off your life. “Is it even firefly season?”
You laugh. “Yeah, dude, it’s summer. Have you never seen a firefly?”
“Your mom is a firefly,” he retorts, nonsensically. You throw a loose piece of cloth at him, and he tries to zap it with magic.
By bedtime, you’ve turned this into a new game with a complex points system and had at least one forty-minute-long argument about the rules. It’s standard fare for the two of you. (You once spent two days running games of Extreme Marbles, which is like marbles, but Taako sets the marbles on fire with magic. You only had to stop once Johann got an unintentionally severe hand burn. He’s fine now, so.)
You fall asleep on adjacent couches, Taako first- he’s a sleepy dude for an elf- and drift off looking forward to your date.
-
Or “date,” you guess. You keep having to remind yourself not to treat this specially, but you and Taako haven’t ever really gone somewhere together, just the two of you. This is a major break from your routine of either sitting around, training, or saving the entire world or whatever.
As such, you agonize a little about what to wear. After much deliberation, you decide on a tank top that says “My Other Battlewagon Is A Dog,” and some mauve shorts. The whole outfit is appropriate for how hot it is outside, and plus it shows off your muscles, aw yeah. You still think you’re pretty good-looking for being physically in your forties now.
You frown at yourself in the mirror. Why are you worried about how you look? This is a friend-date with Taako, of all people, who you don’t think has brushed his hair since you went on vacation. Shaking off your trepidation, you head down to the cannon room, where you’ve arranged to meet Taako. Sun’s out, guns out!
He’s not there when you arrive, which is typical. He likes to arrive fifteen minutes late with fantasy Starbucks.
“Hey, Magnus!” says Avi brightly. “Looking good!”
“Same to you!” you reply, confidence growing. Avi’s always so nice.
“Thanks. So, you and Taako off on some kind of mission? Got a beat on the last relic?”
“No, actually. It’s kind of a date,” you say. Avi’s jaw drops, and you move quickly to correct him. “No, uh, like a friend-date. Just two bros hanging out, catching fireflies, enjoying the summer weather.”
“Okay, good,” he says, relaxing. “I mean, you two together! Whoo. That’d be something.”
“He’s a catch, though, right?” you say, feeling oddly defensive. “It’s not a totally ridiculous idea.”
“Oh, no, I meant no offense!” squeaks Avi. “I just thought you were- never mind.” You’re pretty sure he’s talking about the way you’ve gently rebuffed any and all advances from Bureau employees, the general aura of no romance you’ve been projecting. He’s not wrong about that. You wish you’d just shut up earlier in the conversation.
“It’s cool,” you reassure him, vaguely. “Everything’s cool.”
Thankfully, Taako chooses that moment to arrive, and arrive he does, flipping his hair dramatically and grinning. He’s wearing high-waisted black shorts and a blue shirt with the Bureau of Balance symbol on it that he has totally destroyed into a crop top. Most notably, he’s apparently brushed and braided his hair and found some ginormous sunglasses that dwarf his face.
“Nice shades,” you say, because it’d be weird to compliment how good his legs look in shorts.
“Thanks, Maggie. How’s it hanging, Avi?”
“Hanging good,” Avi replies. “Magnus tells me you’re on a date.”
“Hell yeah,” says Taako. “If this motherfucker doesn’t lend me his jacket and hold my hand I’m rioting.” Avi giggles nervously. You walk over to Taako and grab his hand, which is maybe a little mean, but it’s worth it for the expression on both their faces. Taako’s makes your stomach flip-flop a little.
“Let’s go!” you announce, letting go of Taako and piling into the cannonball. This works like a charm to break up the somewhat awkward moment, and Avi only looks sort of queasy waving goodbye as you blast off.
-
You’ve chosen a clearing near Neverwinter that neither of you have ever been to, but Angus informs you is the right type of environment for fireflies. It’s a little off the beaten path, too, so the two of you have it to yourself in the fading summer sunlight.
“Can’t believe you brought sunglasses for the 20 minutes it’s gonna be bright before sunset,” you tease Taako, rolling out the blanket you brought to sit on.
“I got sensitive eyes.”
“Elves,” you mutter.
“I don’t complain when you blunder around in the dark with your human vision,” he says.
“Yes, you do.”
“That’s- okay, fine, I do. Gods, Merle’s gonna be doing that now, too, huh?” You wince.
“God damn Wonderland.”
“God damn that fucking place,” Taako agrees. Both of you sit on the blanket.
“I’m all old now,” you say. “And you’re all squishy.”
“Was always a glass cannon,” Taako shrugs. “I’m just glad I didn’t, like, keel over and die. Besides,” he adds, swallowing. “You’re still hot.”
“Am I?”
“Yeah, broheme. Got that silver fox thing goin’ for ya.”
“Thank you.” Neither of you are making eye contact. There’s no sound but the various chirps and rumblings of nature and the whooshing of your own blood in your ears, but that’s okay. It’s not tense, exactly. Just uncharted territory.
“What’s your ideal first date?” you ask, breaking the silence. “Those liches never asked you.”
“Well, it involves alcohol, for starters,” he says. You grin and open your backpack to pull out the bottle of champagne you brought for just this occasion.
“How’s this?”
“You read my mind.” You cast about for glasses, then realize you forgot to pack any. Not to worry! You brought six jars for the fireflies, and you can definitely sacrifice two to sip champagne out of. Taako raises his eyebrows as you pour, but you just smile sheepishly and hold your jar out to clink with his.
“To today!” you toast.
“To us,” says Taako, and winks.
-
You show Taako how to catch fireflies, using techniques you’d nearly forgotten from being a child. He gets pretty into it, and you love how peaceful it is here, just the two of you and your glowing captives in the dusky field.
You guess you said fireflies would be your ideal first date because it’s something you never did with Julia. You thought it’d be easy to put her out of your mind doing something you never shared with her, but she’s creeping into the edges of your memories like she always does.
The two of you never really had a first date. You grew up together, best friends, partners, first loves. Only loves. The only one, forever, always.
So why is Taako making your heart flutter?
You know you’re attracted to him, always have been. You’re attracted to a lot of people. But it’s always been easy, before this, to file those types of feelings away under things you don’t think about. Taako, though, he snuck into your life like he was a rogue, not a wizard. Snuck into your routines and your thoughts and your room, sometimes.
He’s your best friend. He’s glowing in the light of the fireflies and the moons. This could be a date.
-
Later, you’re lying down side by side, staring up at the stars and sipping the last of the champagne. Neither of you are really drunk, but you’re talking like you are.
“Do you think Merle has even noticed we’re out so late?” you ask.
“Nah,” says Taako. “Bet he’s just in his room with a plant or something.”
“Gross, gross, gross,” you sing. “Did not need to think of that! Did not ever!”
“He’s definitely not waiting up for us, though.”
“Hah. I can’t even imagine. ‘Where have you two been so late?’”
“Pure debauchery,” Taako says, stretching one arm into the sky. “Sitting in a field getting halfway buzzed like teenagers.”
“This is fun, though, right?”
“I do have to admit this is one of the better dates I’ve ever been on.” He pauses. Lets the implication hang.
“Is this a date?” you finally ask. Your tone is casual, but your heart is pounding.
“Up to you,” he says. You can tell that he is also forcing a casual tone. “I’ll put it out there that I wouldn’t say no. But I get it, a hundred percent, if you’re sticking to the no-romance thing.” You struggle to think of what you can say. He rushes onward. “Zero pressure. The opposite of pressure. The- the most important thing is that we stay, you know. Friends.”
“Friends,” you repeat.
“Yeah. You’re important to me, Mags,” he concludes.
“You’re important to me too,” you say. Then you lapse into silence. To Taako’s credit, he doesn’t say or do anything at all, letting you ruminate for as long as you need.
“I was married,” you say finally. “You know that. But I... after she died, I couldn’t let myself get close to anyone else.” You pause again.
“So is this the part where you take me home and do nothing?” says Taako. You push yourself up onto your side, balancing on one arm. Taako’s face is red, and you guess yours is too.
“No,” you whisper, and then you kiss him. His lips are soft, and it’s pretty good, as far as first kisses go, but the best part is when you pull away and he grins, seemingly involuntarily. It’s really fucking cute.
“So...?” he says.
“So we’re already close,” you say.
“So come closer,” he replies, and you roll your eyes, and both of you are laughing into your kisses.
“It’s been a long time,” you say after a while. He nuzzles your neck.
“For you and me both, babe.” Babe! You kind of hate to admit it, but you like that. You really like that.
“Well,” you say. “I’m glad.”
“You’re glad it’s been a while? I’m certainly not,” he grouses. “I’ve jerked off enough for ten men.”
“No, silly! I’m glad about us.” For a second you worry you’re being too mushy. Then Taako breathes out a sigh.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “Me,too. So there’s gladness all around.”
-
You don’t know what time it is, but it’s very late. You’re yawning, leaning your head against Taako’s shoulder as you set about opening your firefly jars.
Okay, so this is all a little scary. It’s been so many years since you even let yourself think this way, let alone act on it. But the warm weight of Taako against your side is doing wonders to assuage your fears.
“This is kind of big, huh?” you say.
“Yeah.”
“I’m scared to lose you,” you admit. “I’m scared to lose anyone.”
“You think I’m jazzed about the idea of you dying? That would ruin my whole day.”
“Well, thanks.”
“I’ve been through some bad shit too. I can’t promise I’ll be great at this.” He bites his lip, and it makes your chest hurt.
“Oh, shush. We’ve faced worse.” He snorts.
“I think relationships are the gonna be the least of our problems.”
“Relationships don’t want to kill us, and/or the world.”
“Exactly.” He takes your hand, traces the lines in your palm. “We fuckin’ got this. We make a good team.”
You nod, and unscrew the last jar of fireflies. They flutter out into the night air.
It’s a pretty heavy-handed metaphor, but there are some things you just have to let go.