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“It’s dangerous to go alone.” Was the only explanation Dazai had received when he complained about the details of the assignment he was currently on.
He and Chuuya were in the middle of the woods in the countryside of Japan, hours away from Yokohama, doing a stakeout to gain information on a potential threat. The group utilized magic, their abilities able to do things that had frightened both the Port Mafia and Armed Detective Agency enough to send the former partners out together to collect information.
So, yes, Dazai knew given the nature of this budding organization that whoever went in for information shouldn’t go alone, he only wished it didn’t have to be him or his former partner. He wished they sent Kunikida, maybe even paired up Atsushi and Akutagawa so they could figure themselves out and work together better, anything but them.
Crouched in the dark forest, Dazai could feel the heat that permeated through Chuuya’s coat, the only indication the man was beside him. Chuuya had always been exceptionally silent when he wanted to be, it was terrifying considering how brash and loud the man could be in other situations. It was a skill you needed to be part of the Mafia, something Chuuya had mastered prior to even joining, his ability came with a lot of advantages.
Dazai understood why they were the ones to be ordered out here, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. It was the middle of December, snow covered the entirety of the forest, whoever was to go needed to have already mastered the art of stealth and disguise.
There had been no movement from the group they were spying on in over an hour. They’d watched a ritual, some pink floating steam and an ability in action- it was enough information that they could abandon the stakeout entirely through what Dazai and no doubt also Chuuya had pieced together, yet they needed to stay for another thirty minutes, just until midnight and then they could retreat.
“Let’s ditch early,” Chuuya’s voice was so quiet Dazai thought it might’ve been the wind or snow whispering sweet nothings to him. Unfortunately, no amount of wishful thinking could make him forget the prose in Chuuya’s voice, the roughness, the safety in it.
“Can’t,” Dazai whispered back, “Thirty more minutes, I assume you know the directions to the safehouse?”
“‘Course I do,” Chuuya replied, “You’re useless for that kind of stuff.”
“Need to use all my brain power here,” Dazai rolled his eyes in the darkness, “Since you don’t have any.”
“Asshole,” Chuuya bit, “Look.”
Ahead of them, the door to the strange cabin opened to reveal the previous ability user, dressed in animal fur, breath visible as they made their way to the small clearing they’d been staring at for hours. They began doing a series of hand motions, touching various things on the ground and speaking a repeated phrase, a mantra of sorts.
Dazai felt Chuuya stiffen beside him and draw away in the smallest amount, but Dazai still selfishly mourned the loss of the free space heater.
Within an instant, the woods were lit up in a pink light.
It wasn’t often Dazai was caught off guard but he felt his heart plummet at the thought of their possible exposure. This group was harnessing magic from their abilities, something he only had half the possibility to disable with No Longer Human, a situation that might call for Chuuya to do the brunt of the work if a physical altercation broke out but then if Chuuya was affected by said magic he would be rendered useless or worse, would be pitted against Dazai and although he was still familiar with attacks from him-
“Get up, idiot!” Chuuya whisper-screamed, hand heavy on Dazai’s shoulder as he stood.
There was no room for rebuttal, Chuuya was right in his thought process. They needed to run.
Now there was no hesitation as Dazai stood and began to fall into step with Chuuya, their feet hitting the pink-washed ground in unison as they dashed as fast as they could away from the scene. The snow was making it difficult to see where they were going, feet sinking in without grace and definitely slowing at least Dazai down as he looked over to see Chuuya subtly using his ability to shift the snow around his feet so he didn’t leave tracks.
Fuck, they had taken great care to make sure there were no tracks in the snow when they started the stakeout and now, Dazai was leaving a plethora of them, which could lead this group straight to their safehouse.
“Chuuya,” Dazai breathed quietly as they continued running, too aware of the hole in their plan to care about being a source of frustration to the other man, “The snow.”
“It’s annoyin’ yeah,” Chuuya replied, taking the lead as they weaved through a thick patch of trees.
“No, Chuuya,” Dazai tried again, needing him to understand the weight of the situation, “I’m leaving tracks.”
“Ah fuck,” Chuuya cursed, glancing behind them for a split second to confirm what he’d just been told, “Okay you go in front, I’ll cover them.”
Dazai listened and ran a bit faster, ignoring how the cold air was assaulting his lungs, trying to remain as quiet as possible as his breathing became more labored. Chuuya fell behind and Dazai could feel Tainted make a bigger appearance, feeling the subtle shift in the air around them. He tried to remember the directions to the safehouse because although Chuuya knew them by heart, he’d never go in blind, even if he did genuinely trust the man behind him.
Trust. Plain and simple yet wrapped up in years of untouched memories. That Chuuya would run behind him and not take advantage of it, that working together a year after his re-emergence wouldn’t bring Dazai real pain, that Chuuya would obviously put their combined safety over any orders from the Port Mafia. Or at least, Dazai hoped the last one was still true, given the amount of times they’d protected each other over the years.
The forest became more dense as the pink light dwindled down, they had gotten far enough from the source that the light emitted wasn’t giving them a clear path anymore. Dazai had a clear disadvantage here with his right eye barely functioning properly; the smartest move was for Chuuya to guide them, and yet Dazai wasn’t weightless like he was, so he couldn’t-
Snap!
The pain crunched through Dazai as panic surged through his veins, falling forward with no grace as he was yanked backwards from something latched onto his right leg.
Dazai swore he blacked out momentarily, the first sensation to truly register in his body was his heart beating erratically as he tried to kick his legs and stand up. He couldn’t, he bit through the pain that was white hot on his right ankle and calf, kicking harder to free himself from whatever it was that was latched onto him.
He was utterly trapped in the freezing snow, feeling his flesh ripping as he continued to try and free himself. Someone was approaching, he could see the faint silhouette as they crouched down and god where was Chuuya? This didn’t look like him, wonky and moving like he was underwater, it had to be a product of the ability.
It must’ve captured him, must have also captured Chuuya, it must be the magic component and now he knew he wasn’t able to nullify it and this person wasn’t his partner, no-
“Osamu.”
That was Chuuya, but where was he? Dazai needed to follow that voice, but now a hand was on his shoulder and he could feel the snow melting in his hair from how overwhelmed he was.
“Hey, it’s just me, you gotta stop moving.”
Oh. The figure was Chuuya.
Dazai blinked a few times and his vision returned more, he could see Chuuya’s face close to his, knelt down in the snow, arm connecting to where Dazai felt it on his back. Awareness was brought back to every inch of his body now that his brain decided it was safe, Chuuya was here and aware. He tried to move again and had to bite back a scream at the sheer amount of pain that was radiating from his leg.
“Stop tryna move for one second,” Chuuya shuffled to his leg, “Lemme see- oh shit.”
“Get whatever it is off of me, Chuuya.” Dazai said, not bothering to keep his voice low anymore.
“I… okay, you’re gonna need to sit up.” Chuuya’s voice was muffled and there was a tinge of concern in it.
That never meant anything good, Dazai did not like to be out of his element of control on the field. Something had him stuck in place, his leg was searing with pain and now he was involuntarily shaking from his direct contact with the snow.
He was acutely aware there wasn’t much reason for him to be defensive around his former partner, however, that didn’t stop him from falling back into the habit.
“Get it off,” Dazai ordered, his voice stern and recognizable as the cunning one he used to instill fear in the Mafia.
“I can’t unless you sit up,” Chuuya sighed, obviously not rising to the bait, “Even then, it might take a minute.”
“We don’t have a minute,” Dazai barked, “Get it off, now.”
“Dazai, I’m tellin’ you that you need to sit up for me to do that.”
He would give a demand as soon as he followed this one, Dazai decided. Dazai braced his arms underneath himself and pushed up, the pain soared upwards and both legs cramped, causing his knees to wobble uncharacteristically. Biting his tongue and screwing his eyes shut, he tried to push himself further backwards and twist around only for his flesh to rip even further.
Before he could fall, Chuuya was standing over him with strong hands under his armpits that snaked under him until Chuuya’s chest was pressed against his back and the pit of his elbows were holding up Dazai’s weight.
“Get off me and fix-!”
“Quit,” Chuuya ordered as he pulled Dazai upwards, letting his feet drag momentarily before he was placed back down on the ground. Dazai noticed where he was sitting wasn’t covered in snow, Chuuya must’ve cleared the area with Tainted while he struggled.
It was pathetic, Dazai felt pathetic. Unable to get himself to sit, needing assistance to do the most basic task of just getting up; the pain was too unbearable for him to follow through though- the panic too unbearable.
Now he could look at what was keeping him tethered to the ground. It was a gnarly bear trap and from what he could see, looked to be old and rusted, sinking its teeth into the flesh right above his ankle, almost completely shut. It had gotten him in the space between his pant leg and socks, the torn and mangled flesh from trying to escape bleeding openly onto the snow.
Dazai was about to open his mouth when Chuuya put a hand over his mouth at a sudden rustling in the woods near them, he resisted the urge to bite down on the leather as even more panic ran through him.
This was truly the worst case scenario. He was unable to escape, in the dark and freezing forest like a sitting duck for the gifted they’d been trying to get information on.
Chuuya shifted his hand and made gentle work of tapping a code onto Dazai’s cheek before removing his hand entirely. Tainted was activated as Chuuya stepped away from him quietly until he was completely out of view, following the noise deeper into the forest to investigate.
Dazai didn’t even have the time to let Chuuya know he absolutely did not want to be stranded here, in the middle of the woods with no escape, while Chuuya tried to take on magical goddamn ability users. In the end, it didn’t matter though, because Chuuya was already gone, his leg was still stuck and now every aspect of control had been stripped from him.
He let the frightening thoughts drive him forward as he painstakingly sat up straighter and scooted closer to his marred leg. With a shaky hand, Dazai reached down to touch the freezing cold metal that was latched onto him. There was absolutely no way he could pry this off of himself, he doubted even Chuuya could with his strength. The only option would be either using Tainted or digging up where it was attached to the ground.
And Tainted wouldn’t work, since the metal was touching his body and Chuuya’s ability only worked on what he could touch. So, digging up the chain would be his only option.
Dazai tried to dig into the ground where the chain was buried but was met with his fingers immediately stinging from the snow. He persisted on until the cold became an overwhelming sensation of burning, it didn’t matter- he needed to free himself.
More digging attempts and nothing was really happening, it was below freezing- well below freezing. The ground itself was frozen, Dazai felt like he was practically scratching at permafrost. Every touch to the ground sent a shockwave of pain through his leg.
It was becoming overwhelmingly apparent that he was not getting out of this one.
Would Chuuya be able to hold off the gifted and come back for him? Would he get lost in the darkness and be able to find him even if he did manage to fight them off? Would Chuuya even come back for him, if given the opportunity to run?
Yes, Dazai tried to tell himself, yes he would.
But he blew up his car, pissed him off in that basement, left him after he activated Corruption for the first time in years while fighting Lovecraft, jumped off a plane believing he was still alive. Then again, he used to hold Chuuya at sixteen when the boy physically couldn’t move, moved mountains so he could understand his past. Chuuya used to wrap his bandages, used to keep his apartment smelling a certain way so as to not make Dazai go insane, continued to show up and have his back despite everything.
Or maybe in spite of everything.
Then the question became: Would Chuuya be able to take on the gifted by himself?
The obvious answer was yes, Chuuya was incredibly strong and extremely smart, even if Dazai poked fun at him. Dazai knew his former partner was not stupid, or dumb, or naive. It’s why they worked together so well, Dazai could also trust Chuuya’s intellect, even if it didn’t match his entirely, Chuuya was highly emotionally and strategically intelligent.
Some terrible creature latched itself into Dazai’s mind and fed into his doubts. Chuuya could get blindsided by this magical ability and the thoughts made Dazai try and dig his fingers into the ground quicker and harder.
Frustrated, Dazai felt his vision swim with nausea and wetness, this was not the time to cry.
Rustling came from the bushes a few feet from him and Dazai instinctively tried to move to stand, the metal digging into his skin further as he bit back a grunt of pain.
“Well,” Chuuya’s voice flooded his ears and he’d never been so relieved to hear it, “Guess we won’t have to worry about them getting to the city.”
Chuuya came into view, a pink liquid splashed against his coat, mismatched eyes latching onto Dazai’s with measured steps as he approached.
“You-?”
“Killed the one, quite easily actually,” Chuuya cut him off, “Lets get out of here before the rest of them show up.”
“We weren’t supposed to interfere.” Was Dazai’s best attempt at a response as gloved hands came down carefully on the metal and Tainted fizzled out against it.
“Things changed,” Chuuya shrugged, “Boss won’t care.”
“Right,” Dazai nodded in agreement, although he wondered just how Chuuya would break the news that this was the reason he interfered with the strictly information-only stakeout.
“I’ll just tell him we got spotted,” Chuuya spoke as if he could read Dazai’s mind, “Can’t use Tainted on this, fuck.”
Dazai chose not to respond as Chuuya continued to inspect his leg.
“Did you try to dig your way out of this?” Chuuya asked and brought his head back up to meet Dazai’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Dazai tried to fall back into a playful tone but it fell flat, “Knew you’d come back to save me though!”
Chuuya’s expression morphed from concern to light annoyance then to determination.
“You might wanna bite down on something,” Chuuya replied, refusing to rise to the obvious bait. He knew Dazai was in genuine pain, and he could see straight through his facade- Dazai had been scared, whether he himself knew it or not.
“No-” Dazai went to grab Chuuya’s hand but stopped himself halfway, “What are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna pry it open.”
“You can’t, it won’t budge.”
“Try me.” Was all the warning Dazai got before Chuuya was pulling the trap open, the metal teeth dislocating from his bone and flesh with an unimaginable slowness. Dazai hissed out in pain, unable to stop it from coming out of his mouth as the metal freed enough for him to move his leg out of the trap.
As soon as he was free, Chuuya let go and it snapped back together with a clang. Chuuya flexed his hands a few times because although he was physically strong without his ability, pulling open a bear trap with bare hands was practically unheard of. Dazai wondered what exactly was giving him the extra amount of strength to be able to do that.
“Think you can stand?” Chuuya asked as he stood, brushing the snow off from his pants.
Dazai nodded in the darkness and tried to push himself up but as soon as he tried to put weight on his injured leg, his knees buckled and vomit rose in his throat. Chuuya reached out to grab and steady him as Dazai doubled over and emptied his guts, heaving quite a few times as he felt the adrenaline plummet from his body and be replaced with nothing but sheer pain.
Chuuya made no comment as Dazai used a shaky hand to wipe his mouth, letting out a breath as he dropped his head forward. Instead, Chuuya wrapped Dazai’s right arm around his shoulders and held onto his waist, allowing Dazai to essentially use him as a crutch.
Dazai would have made a comment at their height difference if he wasn’t on the verge of tears again from Chuuya not only helping him but covering his blindside as well.
It should’ve been awkward, should’ve come with a tidal wave of defense from the lack of control Dazai now had on the situation, but this was the man he was partners with in the Mafia, there was no time for him to spiral.
“We’ll go at your pace, I know how to get out of here so whenever you’re ready.” Chuuya’s voice was quiet and soft, not quite gentle but it hit Dazai’s ears in a way he knew lulled him into a sense of safety.
“Safehouse?” Dazai asked as he stepped forward, unable to ignore the pain as he winced.
“No,” Chuuya replied, “We need to get out of here, they’ll follow the trail of blood.”
“Okay,” Dazai figured that was also the best course of action and continued to walk at a slow pace.
Chuuya led them through the thick forest and Dazai recognized some of the abandoned cabins they had seen when they entered. He tried to keep his head forward, bit back any signal of pain that shot through his body and focused on the warm presence next to him, the man keeping him upright when he absolutely should’ve left him to die.
Dazai supposed Chuuya was always an anomaly like that, though. Having his back when he shouldn’t, forgiving him when he shouldn’t, being willing to help him and genuinely care every time he got hurt.
Now, Dazai was extremely grateful this was his partner on this assignment. He couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to trust anyone else like this.
Eventually, they made it to the clearing they had started in and Dazai knew it was only a little further until they made it to the street where Chuuya parked his car. It was a few painful minutes before they were standing beside it, Chuuya swinging open the passenger door with one hand to push Dazai into the car slowly.
“You need to elevate that,” Chuuya rushed his words, glancing around behind himself to make sure they hadn’t been tailed, “Here,” A towel was shoved in Dazai’s stomach before Chuuya slammed the door and rounded the car to get in.
“We weren’t tailed,” Dazai assured, trusting himself enough to be able to pick up on something like that.
“We were slow to get out,” Chuuya made a face at his own words as he started the car and peeled onto the road, “Not that we could help it, but, more time for those fucks to find us.”
“Yeah,” Dazai shrugged and had to use both his hands to lift his leg, “Any antiseptic in here?”
“In the glovebox,” Chuuya nodded as he focused on the road.
Dazai painfully bent forward and opened the glovebox, finding the bottle and twisting off the cap. It stung like hell but he poured it on the open wound, pointedly deciding not to look at his own marred flesh. He’d have to get Yosano to fix this up, public forms of medical care were off the table entirely, he silently wished Chuuya would take him home and patch him up.
Leaning back when he was done, Dazai let his head loll to the side to catch Chuuya’s side profile, mapping the skin of the man he wished was still his partner, in every sense of the word. There was a time he wouldn’t think twice about who would be patching him up and where, a time when he could trust that rough hands would take care of things like this for him.
That wasn’t the case anymore, the thought punched him in the gut.
It had taken so long for them to get to a point where Dazai could just allow Chuuya to help him. They had fought so many times, thrown punches and disgusting words around over a simple gunshot wound that needed disinfecting. They’d finally reached an understanding and were able to help each other without it triggering a gigantic mess.
Now they were back at square one.
“You can close your eyes,” Chuuya commented without looking over, “Not gonna kill ‘ya.”
“Doubt you even could.” Dazai smiled to himself despite his train of thought.
Dazai’s eyes were growing heavier by the second and he tried fighting it but the blood loss coupled with the amount of anxiety he had endured for the night, sleep took him whether he consented or not.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
-
Dazai awoke with a scream.
Something he never did, even when he’d been knocked out cold by the enemy. Thoughts of Chuuya dead, mangled beyond repair as he was trapped in a snow covered forest forced the sound from his body as his eyes flung open and he struggled against whatever was keeping him in place.
“Dazai.” The voice tried, but it was no use, he needed to dig out the chain from the ground but he was oddly warm, “Dazai, hey,” Screw the voice, his partner was out there in the depths of a midnight black forest, attempting to fight off something they had little information on, “Osamu!”
Dazai’s gaze settled on a very much alive Chuuya, face inches from his own before it retreated and the view of Chuuya’s own bathroom came into view. He flicked his head around to scan his surroundings, black towels hanging on the wall, dark colored shower curtain, pristine tile below him, fluffy bathmats pushed out of the way, hands holding warm washcloths to his own.
“You’re at my place,” Chuuya sighed and rocked back on his knees, “Chill out.”
Dazai didn’t respond, he just looked down at his ankle that had been stitched and cleaned, a plastic wrapping around it to protect it from water.
“You need a shower, you fucking stink.”
“After I almost just died, how sweet of you!” Dazai tried to joke but it didn’t come out right, he was still panicked.
“You didn’t almost just die you asshole, death is allergic to you,” Chuuya rolled his eyes but there was no bite in his words, “Can you feel your hands?”
Dazai drug lazy eyes down to his hands that Chuuya removed the washcloth from, tips of his fingers still purple and blue, “They’re tingling.”
“Thank god,” Chuuya let out a breath and fell to sit with his back against the tub now, “Thought your ass got hypothermia, I do not know how to fix that.”
“Why would it be your job?” Dazai questioned, now that the anxiety was settling in his chest, he wondered why Chuuya had even brought him to his apartment instead of depositing him at the Agency or some random hospital; even if his current environment was exactly where he preferred to be.
“‘Cause you’d rather get an infection than go to a real hospital.” Chuuya shrugged and tore his eyes from Dazai’s.
“Aw the terrifying Chuuya is being my nurse?” Dazai joked, “You could have taken me to Yosano.”
“Shut up!” Chuuya sent him a glare, “I doubt you would’ve let her help either.”
“I’ve changed, y’know,” Dazai said in a light voice, “I’d rather not die of infection any more.”
“So you’d actually be willing to let that Agency doctor help you out?”
“I didn’t say that,” Dazai winked.
“Exactly,” Chuuya stood and huffed, “Shower. Clothes are behind you.”
“Wait-” It tumbled from Dazai before he could stop it, he didn’t want Chuuya to leave, not when everything felt like it had before, not when the man was taking care of him in a way he wanted even if he loathed it, “Why are you doing this?”
“Hah? Fuck off and take a shower.” Chuuya dodged the question and turned to walk out of the bathroom.
Dazai sighed and tried to push himself up. His ankle felt better than before, Chuuya definitely used numbing cream to mask some of the superficial pain, but it didn’t fix everything. Dazai was falling again before he could even get all the way up, numb hands gripping onto the sink before sliding off embarrassingly as he landed back on the floor.
“Oh hell,” Chuuya came back into the bathroom and helped steady him.
There were questions, demands, jokes on the tip of Dazai’s tongue but the died the moment Chuuya pressed him towards the closed lid of the toilet, sitting him down and bracing hands on his chest. There was a question tapped onto him from naked hands covered in Corruption scars, one Dazai couldn’t outright answer.
Because yes, selfishly, he wanted Chuuya to undress him and help him shower. Show him a kind of care he could only receive from the other man, a type of care the other man only showed to him. He wanted this back, the bond they fought so hard to create.
But he also couldn’t bear it, the idea of letting himself be taken care of like this again.
For everything he was, Dazai was not a strong man at the moment as he nodded his head as consent.
Chuuya made quick work of tossing off his coat, adding his vest and button-down shirt to the pile, placing his bolo tie on the counter before moving on. Hands hooked around his belt as it was unfastened with haste, tossed onto the pile along with the pants and boxers that were carefully pulled off so they didn’t irritate the wrapped wound on his ankle.
Undressed, Dazai was feeling a bit sheepish. It wasn’t the first time Chuuya had seen him nude, and under these circumstances were typically how that occurred. Before his mind could wander to a place of defensiveness and insecurity, Chuuya was bracing arms under his own arms and helping him maneuver into the shower.
Dazai bit back a groan at being manhandled, although he knew two things were true about the situation: one, that Chuuya was definitely not trying to further his misery and two, that their height difference meant being manhandled like this was really the only option.
Chuuya turned on the water, letting it get warm before turning on the spray, holding Dazai out of the way until he made a small step towards it. Dazai leaned on Chuuya for support, trying to will away the thoughts of how awful it was to be rendered useless like this. He couldn’t even shower properly, why was Chuuya even helping him?
A bar of soap was handed to him and Chuuya remained silent. Dazai tried to clean himself with his free hand, the other being slung around Chuuya’s shoulder. The position was awkward, standing side by side, letting a tall man lean all his weight on one foot and a small man, but it worked for the time being.
“Why are you doing this?” Dazai asked, his voice quiet and hushed under the spray of the water.
Chuuya didn’t respond, keeping his gaze straight forward. Dazai glanced at him to see him chewing on his bottom lip.
“Chuuya, why did you take me back here?” Dazai tried as he ran the bar of soap over his chest slowly, trying not to throw himself off balance.
Still no response from Chuuya, not even a new tension in his frame, it was as if he wasn’t even hearing what Dazai was saying.
“Why didn’t you take me to Yosano?” Dazai asked as he finished washing himself.
Chuuya helping him towards the brunt of the water spray was the only response he got. A bottle of shampoo was handed to him and he wet his hair, unsure how he was going to be able to even get the shampoo into his hands. Chuuya’s grip around him became tighter and he was able to remove his arm to pump the shampoo quickly into his free hand before hugging back onto the smaller man.
“Chuuya, please.” Dazai wanted a response, holding his hand out with the unused shampoo in it, feeling his chest tighten at the lack of response.
But still, Chuuya didn’t look over, he continued staring straight forward with no sign of recognition.
Dazai stumbled as he tried to raise his hand to his hair and Chuuya snapped back to the land of the living, pressing against Dazai so he wouldn’t fall over. He didn’t say anything as he tore off his shirt with one hand and tugged off his shorts, stepping into the shower directly behind Dazai.
The weight behind him shifted as strong hands came to hold his hips and pull him against Chuuya’s chest for better stability.
It had been a long while since they’d been naked in the shower together, it had all sorts of terrible feelings brewing in Dazai’s chest. He tried to rid them of his system by lathering the shampoo in his hair, the act of keeping his arms above his head was proving to be difficult with how tingly his hands were.
It all became too much, “Chuuya,” Dazai sucked in a breath, “Please tell me.”
The hands around his waist shifted until Chuuya’s arms were wrapped around him, hugging him from behind.
“Can we just have this?” Chuuya asked, his voice quiet and muffled in the expanse of Dazai’s back, “Before it all goes back to the way it was.”
A plea Dazai knew he couldn’t escape, one he desperately wanted.
Dazai tilted his head forward, washing out the shampoo as Chuuya moved behind him, back to his side to reach and grab towels. He flicked off the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist with one hand before handing Dazai one as well. It was difficult to dry himself off but soon enough Chuuya was steadily manhandling him out of the shower and wrapping the towel around him before he was pushed back onto the lidded toilet.
Chuuya disappeared for a moment after that, a hand coming up to wipe at his face once his back was turned to Dazai, who wondered just exactly what the hell was going on.
When he reappeared, Chuuya was wearing sweat shorts and a long sleeve shirt and placing a roll of bandages on the counter.
“Bandages then I’ll help you change.”
Dazai shook his head, “No.”
“Okay,” Chuuya sucked in a breath.
Chuuya helped Dazai into the clothes, a pair of sleep pants and a long sleeve shirt, rolling them over his wounded ankle so it wouldn’t irritate it. By now, there was peaks of sunlight filtering in through the window in Chuuya’s bedroom, illuminating the space in a way that crushed Dazai’s heart.
During their time in the Mafia, they collected many random and useless posters, paintings, and trinkets that used to line the expanse of Chuuya’s apartment- the same one his still lived in. It seemed that they had been removed.
Dazai was helped up and brought to Chuuya’s bed where the sheets were all too expensive and soft. Chuuya stepped away to draw the black-out curtains as Dazai tentatively laid back against the pillows. As much as he wasn’t certain about this, he knew he’d be safe in Chuuya’s presence and desperately needed to sleep if he was going to be a functioning being for the debrief they had coming the next day. Stealing a glance at the clock, he was surprised to see it reading five in the morning.
“Not supposed to be back till tomorrow,” Chuuya said, “So don’t worry ‘bout sleepin’.”
Dazai watched as Chuuya went to walk out of the room, “What if I don’t want it to go back to the way it was?”
His voice was low and small, so uncertain that he was unsure the voice even belonged to himself. Chuuya stilled from his place at the doorframe, dropping his hand from the door and turning to look at Dazai with wide eyes.
“What?” Chuuya asked as if he didn’t expect Dazai to say what he did.
But how couldn’t he? After everything, tonight and the hundreds of nights before this?
“Partners,” Dazai mumbled, feeling his eyelids fight against him, “I thought…”
Chuuya didn’t verbally respond. He shut the door and stared at it for a moment before slowly circling the bed, climbing onto next to Dazai, leaving a bit of room between them.
“How would…” Chuuya trailed off, out of his depth, “The Mafia.”
“That’s never stopped us before.” Dazai shrugged, continuing to fight off the darkness that wanted to lull him to sleep.
“We’ve never done this before,” Chuuya replied carefully, “With our organizations.”
“Why does it have to be about them?” Dazai asked sleepily, “It can just be about us.”
In the darkness, Dazai felt a weight on his back, warm and solid.
“Yeah, okay.”