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It wasn’t often Chuuya was the one finding himself in situations where he got injured.
With that being said, if it was going to happen, it would of course embarrassingly be on a joint mission with the Armed Detective Agency.
They were in the middle of an ice field in Aomori, walking back to their parked car after tracking down the last member of a rogue group of ability users. It was freezing, sub zero temperatures, and everyone was feeling the effects of it. Kunikida had on a tan trenchcoat, his hands permanently shoved in his pockets while Yosano had the foresight to buy handwarmers and a scarf.
“You look like a small chihuahua with that on!” Dazai teased Chuuya, who was wearing his typical Mafia wear with the addition of a thicker coat and grey scarf.
“Says the guy who keeps warm with bandages,” Chuuya bit back, eyeing up the fact Dazai had only chosen to wear a thick coat to try and keep warm.
“Will both of you stop!” Kunikida hissed, “We need to get back to the car and keep on schedule.”
“Ugh, we already got the guy to the police, have some fun Kunikida!” Dazai teased, slipping slightly on a particularly icy rock.
“Careful, I don’t feel like dealing with broken bones.” Yosano warned, avoiding the steps Dazai had taken.
The forest they were in was objectively pretty, it would have been prettier if they weren’t all freezing cold.
“We still need to draft a report for the local police,” Kunikida droned on, “Then we need-”
“To get at least eight hours of sleep before we leave tomorrow.” Yosano cut him off, shooting a playful smile his way.
“Of course, yes.” Kunikida nodded along.
The conversation continued lightly with teasing and quips from everyone as they trudged on towards the car. Dazai thought it felt eerily peaceful, the way his coworkers were surprisingly getting along with Chuuya. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, although the Port Mafia had tried to disarm them quite some time ago, Chuuya was a likeable person outside of his job.
Even inside of the Mafia, Chuuya was highly respected and generally liked. Of course, he was a force to be reckoned with, dangerous and out of his mind at times but so was everyone else, his coworkers included. Even if the camaraderie between his coworkers and partner was timid, it was still welcome.
They continued along until they came to an ice field, Yosano and Kunikida covering ground quicker than Dazai and Chuuya.
“We should get off this,” Kunikida pointed out as they continued to walk on. The lake was completely frozen over, something they had avoided when they first set out on foot to find and apprehend the last person they were after. Some sections were covered in snow, others just pure ice, thin enough that the moving water underneath was visible.
Dazai took a step forward on the frozen lake and immediately lost his footing, feet sliding out from under him before strong arms shot out to keep him upright.
“You clumsy fish,” Chuuya huffed, staring straight into his eyes. Unbeknownst to his coworkers, he would take drowning in those eyes over the river any day.
“Careful!” Yosano called from where she was steadying Kunikida.
“How sweet!” Dazai joked, finding his balance again and stepping out of Chuuya’s grip.
He continued walking, more careful now. Kunikida and Yosano were way ahead of them now. Dazai kept his head down as he mapped out each step, placing each foot down with a measured weight as he held his breath. He wondered why Chuuya wasn’t using Tainted to make this entire process easier, but he knew his partner wouldn’t want to rely on his ability for something like walking across ice.
“Fuck!”
Dazai whipped around at the sheer panic in his partner’s voice. The ice cracked underneath Chuuya’s feet and Dazai watched as Tainted attempted to make an appearance before it caused more of the ice to crack. Within an instant, Chuuya was plummeting downwards with a splash and a curse.
Dazai’s heart dropped through his chest, he swore if he looked down he’d see it skidding across the frozen lake he was standing on.
“Get back! Nakahara just fell through the ice, it's not safe!” Kunikida yelled from a few feet behind him.
“Oh shit,” Yosano cursed, lightly gripping Kunikida’s arm to steady herself as she slipped from watching Chuuya’s fall.
There was something wretched that spindled up through Dazai’s body: fear. An emotion he was uncharacteristically accustomed to, something he usually never felt when in the presence of his partner- his partner who had just fallen into freezing water.
Dazai ran.
His feet carried him quickly as he watched auburn hair struggle against the chunks of floating ice, head bobbing as he tried to keep himself afloat. Chuuya wasn’t the best swimmer, it was a well known fact- the man had never really been exposed to the luxuries of learning how to swim as a child. Then, came his ability, which coincidentally did not work very well underwater.
Dazai could care less about the shouts from his coworkers at the moment as he slowed down, treading lightly on the ice so he didn’t fall in as well, or worse, cause more cracks to push more ice towards his partner. He saw Chuuya’s gloved hand attempt to grip one of the larger chunks of ice only to slip off and plunge him further down.
A shaky breath left Dazai’s mouth as he yelled, “Chuuya, can you hear me?”
No response except gurgling water and sloshing as Chuuya tried and failed to get himself out of the water.
Dazai took more hesitant steps forward, wishing he could just run and lift his partner out of the water. After a few more moments, he was close enough where he could kneel down and grab Chuuya’s hand. His knees hit the ice and immediately the frigidness ran through his pants.
“Careful,” Yosano’s voice called out from the safer section of the ice, “Don’t put too much pressure or you’ll go in next.”
It was an attempt to make the situation lighter, yet Dazai knew she had absolutely no idea how badly this truly was. His coworkers weren’t exactly on the best of terms with Chuuya, which made sense because of their opposing organizations and his ruthless tactics on the field.
“Chuuya,” Dazai called his name as he reached over.
Chuuya was coming up every few seconds, gasping in a breath before plummeting back down. This wasn’t drowning, no, Chuuya wouldn’t drown no matter how bad he was at swimming- Chuuya was numb. He couldn’t feel his feet, his legs, his arms, nothing. It made trying to stay afloat that much harder.
Dazai swiped hand to try and grab his partner, chest constricting in deep fear as he realized he wasn’t going to be able to get him unless he stopped struggling. He tried again anyway.
“Dazai, grab him, now!” Kunikida’s voice was loud from behind him and god did Dazai want his coworkers to shut up for once. He was trying, their comments were not helping.
Chuuya came up again for air, this time locking eyes with Dazai before throwing both numb arms in his direction. Dazai lunged forward and finally was able to grab hold of him, but Chuuya’s weight, doubled with his waterlogged clothes, caused Dazai to lose his balance and Chuuya slipped out of his grip.
“Fuck!” Dazai cursed, a rare thing from him as he was growing more frustrated, more scared. Chuuya’s eyes held a type of fear in them that Dazai had only ever seen once before, when his friends had been murdered in cold blood back when they were sixteen.
Dazai’s heart was erratic against his chest, the windchill biting at his cheeks as he pushed down thoughts of the aftermath of this- because he was going to get Chuuya out of this situation. Chuuya had come to his rescue too many times, followed through on all his ridiculous plans, it was almost suffocating. He saved him for the sake of saving him and now, as Dazai failed to grab Chuuya another time, it seemed Dazai couldn’t return the favor.
“C’mon Dazai!” Yosano was encouraging but it felt like needles against his skin.
Everything was becoming more frustrating as Chuuya bobbed up again and hooked his arms on the ice under Dazai’s knees. Dazai took it as an opportunity to sink nails into Chuuya’s cold skin, gripping so hard he could bruise as he refused to let his partner go down another time.
Chuuya looked at him with wild eyes, sucking in a breath as he tried to speak, “Fuck! My- fuck my arms!”
“Hold on, Chuuya,” Dazai commanded, his voice a different type of lethal than he coworkers had ever heard as he tried to maneuver himself into a position with better leverage to pull Chuuya up.
“Can’t, Daz- I can’t feel anything!” Chuuya was also frantic, displaying a side of himself that had never left the safety of his own home.
This entire mission was terrible. Chuuya was openly panicked, Dazai was openly panicked, it was a terrible combination of emotions for the Agency to be witnessing right now. They did not need to see a Port Mafia Executive tripping over his words, practically drowning in a frozen lake and they definitely didn’t need to see the nonchalant Dazai admitting fault to his own fears.
“Stop,” Dazai tried to demand, but it came out rushed, “Let me try to pull you out, stop- No!”
Chuuya slipped again, slapping against the water to try and stay afloat. Dazai shimmied closer to the edge and hoped Chuuya understood what needed to be done. Chuuya flung his arms around again and gripped for purchase on Dazai’s pant legs, the water dripping off of him sending Dazai’s whole body into overdrive.
He gripped Chuuya’s arms again and immediately tried to pull him out again.
“He’s going to go hypothermic,” Kunikida commented from behind them, “If he goes back in, he might get frostbite.”
“Chuuya, hold onto me.” Dazai ordered, using all the strength he could muster to pull Chuuya from the water.
“Can’t- Fuck, can’t feel a goddamn thing!”
Dazai stared into Chuuya’s mismatched eyes and let the pure adrenaline coursing through his body to the rest of the work, throwing himself backwards with hands latched onto Chuuya’s small wrists. He fell backwards with a thump, Chuuya mostly out of the water now.
Chuuya tried to get up but he genuinely could not feel anything in his body, completely numb from the subzero temperature of the water.
“Get him over here!” Yosano ordered, “He needs to warm up, now!”
“I’m trying!” Dazai couldn’t help but snap back, slipping as he tried to prop Chuuya up, “Can you feel anything at all?”
There was no response as Chuuya’s eyes rolled back into his head and then he fell forward at an alarming rate. Dazai was quick to catch him, feeling the small frame shaking under his touch. He couldn’t stand with Chuuya, not when they were so close to thin ice, so he braced Chuuya’s back against his chest and bracketed him between his legs.
“C’mon Chuuya, don’t do this,” Dazai panicked as he rubbed his sternum roughly, scooting them backwards and closer to safety as he did so.
Chuuya was nothing but dead weight against his chest, head falling to the side, legs dragging against the ice. Dazai thought he had stopped functioning, his brain coming to a standstill as he absentmindedly continued trying to breathe life back into his partner, arm wrapped tightly around him, feeling the freezing water continue soaking his clothes.
“Right here,” Dazai flinched as a hand landed on his shoulder, the hand belonging to Kunikida. He’d made it back to safety, to where they wouldn’t fall in this god forsaken lake, to where he could get Chuuya warm and safe.
Yosano was crouching down in front of them and within an instant, slapping hard at Chuuya’s face.
“Wake up, fucker! It brings me no pleasure to hit you like this,” She tilted his head and roughly shook his shoulders, “Wake up so we can go at this fair!”
It didn’t work, Chuuya stayed unconscious and Dazai became protective, shifting Chuuya away from the doctor he knew had good intentions but was not going to be allowed near his partner. It wasn’t a lack of trust in the Agency, it was a lack of trust around anyone near his unconscious partner.
They’d made a deal, way back in the Mafia, that they were the only people allowed to be around each other when one of them was unconscious, the only person they trusted their most vulnerable state with. It really never should’ve shocked Dazai that their partnership turned into something a little softer around the edges as they grew up and matured.
“Don’t touch him,” Dazai clutched Chuuya to his chest as he tried to stand up, stumbling quite a bit from the extra weight his partner housed.
“I need to wake him up,” Yosano explained, “He will slip into a bad state if he stays unconscious after something like that.”
“He’ll wake up while we retreat,” Dazai replied as he finally made it to his feet, cradling Chuuya’s head to his neck, relishing in the feeling of the small short puffs of air that were coming from his mouth.
“Dazai,” Yosano leveled him, “He’s practically hypothermic.”
“No,” Dazai shook his head, “He’s going to be okay.”
“I don’t think Yosano is saying he won’t be okay,” Kunikida said from his blindside, “But if he isn’t conscious while he warms up it could have serious ramifications.”
Dazai hated this, being under the microscope for his coworkers, being practically forced to expose the care he had for the Executive in his arms. He could hide it, easily, but that would come with Yosano touching his unconscious partner, it would come with giving Chuuya the type of treatment he absolutely did not deserve at this moment.
He’d been enough of a dick to the man in his arms, he’d be damned if he did it again now.
“He’s fine,” Dazai took a step forward, channeling all his determination into continuing forward to get away from all the damn ice and snow.
“Hey,” Yosano called from behind, her footsteps getting quicker as she caught up with him, her voice dropping to a whisper as they were now side by side,“Dazai, he’s going to be okay.”
Dazai gave her a ridiculous stare, not understanding why she was choosing to understand their dynamic or try to understand the anxiety in his chest that wouldn’t go away.
“But we’re going to need to run,” She looked pained, obviously going against the medical knowledge she had, “He needs warmth, now.”
Dazai trusted it, he trusted her words. He clutched his partner closer to him and took off, weaving through rocks by the shore with ease, avoiding the fallen trees in his path; he’d get back to the car in record time and make sure Chuuya was okay.
“Dammit, Dazai!” Kunikida roared from behind, the words barely registering as the wind was howling against him.
“Nakahara needs warmth now, if we don’t run… well…” Yosano said breathlessly.
“He’s a Port Mafia Executive! He can handle himself-”
“That’s obviously not what he is to Dazai,” Yosano bit as she tried to keep up with Dazai, “Run, Doppo!”
The group ran through the little bit of the forest they had left to traverse until they came to the small parking area where they had left the car. Kunikida unlocked it and Dazai opened the door with one hand, carefully maneuvering in with Chuuya still in his arms.
Dazai hadn’t felt fear like this since he was sixteen.
—
“Get of ‘a me!” Chuuya weakly pushed back against Dazai’s arms, water sloshing around them and onto the floor.
“Chuuya, please,” Dazai openly begged, he didn’t care now.
It had been two hours since Chuuya fell into that freezing water, two hours of keeping his coworkers as far away as possible, two hours of trying to get Chuuya to gain consciousness again, two hours of holding him in scalding hot water.
The worst part of the entire situation wasn’t even the fact his partner was slightly hypothermic, or that he was barely holding onto consciousness, it was the fact Chuuya’s fear had pushed itself to the forefront of his mind and was now openly displayed on his body.
Through half lidded eyes and a sagging body, Chuuya was still trying to activate Tainted, even though it was fizzling out on his skin from their contact. No Longer Human was in constant use and Chuuya was weakly fighting against Dazai’s every move.
“Fuck-” Chuuya shivered even though he was submerged in a hot tub of water, clothes still on his body, “Fuck you.”
Dazai had pressed Kunikida to drive and rushed into their hotel without caring to keep up appearances. Chuuya was freezing against his body, shivering and shaking and Dazai knew what was to come when he gained consciousness again. Chuuya had a scary amount of medical trauma, even if he’d never admit it, even if he never really showed it.
He wasn’t being patched up, but Dazai knew that didn’t matter. Chuuya needed to be looked after, he needed to be taken care of and it flared the same dangerous thing in his chest that unlocked what it must’ve felt like to be strapped down and torn apart piece by piece. It was the lack of control, it was having to submit to whoever was trying to get his body temperature to rise because it meant he was weak.
Chuuya wouldn’t go down without a fight, Dazai knew this, so he should’ve seen the punch coming. Chuuya swung at him, it didn’t land but Dazai lost his balance from where he was kneeling by the tub, his partner unceremoniously trying to climb out to escape.
“Chuuya,” Dazai called, “You’re in our hotel room.”
“Stop,” Chuuya was frantic as he landed on top of Dazai, hands coming to shakily grasp onto his collar, “Don’t fuckin’ do this to me.”
“Chuuya,” Dazai breathed, grabbing his hands and removing them from his shirt.
There was no backing down, Chuuya pushed harshly at his chest, freeing his hands and scrambling off of his lap. Dazai was now soaking wet, but he paid no mind, the worst version of his partner was now trying to get to his feet.
One would think the worst thing about Chuuya was his anger, his fury, maybe his Corrupted form, maybe his ability to forgive, maybe his position in the world as a Port Mafia Executive. Dazai however, after knowing Chuuya intimately for all these years, knew the worst thing about Chuuya was his fears.
It turned him volatile and vulnerable, two emotions that couldn’t mix and instead came out as a ruthlessly terrified animal, barring its teeth in the name of self-preservation, simply for the principle of it.
Dazai pushed himself up to his feet and showed his open hands, “You’re in our hotel room,” He repeated, though he was aware the words meant nothing to Chuuya, “You’re safe.”
Chuuya stood on wobbly legs, soaking wet with hair sticking up in every direction, mismatched eyes narrow but heavy, mouth open and ready to strike. He moved towards Dazai, trying to take him down, he landed a solid hit against Dazai’s stomach and took advantage of him doubling over to make a dash towards the door.
“You can’t run away,” Dazai whipped around and caught his upper arm, “You need to warm up.”
“I can do what I want,” Chuuya bit back, trying to free himself from Dazai’s grip, “You don’t own me.”
“I don’t,” Dazai affirmed, still not relenting, “I’m trying to help.”
Chuuya shook harder, his teeth chattering and his jaw unable to calm, “Don’t touch me!”
In any other circumstance, if Chuuya wasn’t actively dying, Dazai would have obliged. He wasn’t exactly the most sane person, but he could respect a denial of consent, especially when it came to Chuuya and his need for control. He wouldn’t take the upper hand away from him in most situations like this, it usually helped Chuuya come back to himself, but this was different. If Chuuya didn’t raise his internal body temperature, the consequence could be deadly.
And from the looks of it, Chuuya was still as cold as he was when he plunged into that lake.
Dazai bit his cheek and used all his strength to battle Chuuya, his partner being stronger than him even in such a weakened state. He was able to pin him against his chest, crossing his arms over Chuuya to drag him backwards towards the hot water.
“No!” Chuuya screamed, “Get off, get off!”
“Chuuya, please,” Dazai tried again, keeping his arms braced around his partner through the writhing and kicking, “It’s me, it’s Dazai, you need to stop.”
“You won’t do this to me again!” Chuuya continued.
“I’m not trying to do anything but help you.” Dazai dropped his voice, not soft, just steady, exactly how Chuuya liked it.
It didn’t work as Chuuya doubled down, “I’ll kill you!”
Dazai sighed and pushed him back towards the tub, the shaking wasn’t calming and it was getting dire now. If Chuuya was anything, he was sheer strength with a mind that wanted him to keep fighting even when he was destined to fall.
“You can as soon as you warm up,” Dazai sighed and tried to lift him into the water.
“No!” Chuuya shook and wiggled against him, twisting until he was facing Dazai’s chest, “Not the water.”
Dazai stilled, keeping his desperate grip on his partner as the understanding dawned on him.
“It’s a bath,” Dazai explained, “You like those, and it’s warm.”
Like a switch had flipped, Chuuya’s panic became something completely different, “Please, no.”
“Not gonna hurt you,” Dazai promised as he felt the fight die out from Chuuya’s body. It was a side of Chuuya that had never seen the light of day, something Dazai had only witnessed twice before and still had the ability to turn his heart to ice when presented with it.
Chuuya often dropped into such a deep state of fight or flight his body simply stopped, only when presented with a situation he was sure he couldn’t escape.
“Please don’t,” Chuuya gripped his shirt again but his hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold on, “I can’t-”
He was incoherent as Dazai lowered him into the tub, his hands still trying to find purchase on Dazai’s shirt. Dazai let him hold on because fuck, he couldn’t bring himself to not. Chuuya held onto him like a lifeline, his upper body above the water as Dazai placed one hand on his chest to try to push him down. His other hand came up to hold onto Chuuya’s wrists, hating the way he could feel the shake in his partner’s body.
Chuuya continued mumbling his pleadings as Dazai pushed him down and without warning, his eyes rolled back and he lost consciousness again. Dazai reacted quickly to grab the back of Chuuya’s head to protect it from slamming against the bottom of the tub.
It was frustrating, Chuuya’s inability to let someone help him in a crisis like this. Dazai had initially thought he was the worst patient to ever exist, especially to Chuuya, whom he fought with and spit vile words at when they’d first become partners in the Mafia. Over the years, it got easier to mentally check out when he was getting patched up, but Chuuya had only gotten worse.
His ability made it so he wasn’t gravely injured often, though it came with its own drawbacks, like the body aches and stiffness. Still, the only time Dazai had to deal with the aftermath of Chuuya’s trauma was post-Corruption, and that was now something used sparingly.
Dazai shook his thoughts and positioned Chuuya so his head was out of the water. He turned the faucet back onto its hottest setting and brushed auburn strands of hair out of his partner’s face, mapping the freckles on his face, the mole above his lip, his dark lashes, how his face was twitching from the cold.
He stayed like that for a while, just staring down at the man he devoted himself to, the man who had devoted himself to him.
Dazai closed his eyes and let out a long breath, “I was scared, Chuuya.”
He knew he’d gain no response, Chuuya was knocked out cold, but he spoke anyway, a type of honesty he usually couldn’t get out.
—
“Daz-” Chuuya hiccupped, “I- ‘Zai.”
Dazai pulled him impossibly closer, “I’m right here.”
Chuuya shook against him, dressed in layers, two pairs of socks and an oversized hoodie, wrapped in all the blankets Dazai could find in the room. The warm bath had helped, somewhat, but now that he was coming back down into reality, everything seemed to be amplified.
“I’m fuckin’-” Chuuya’s teeth clattered, “Freezing, I’m- Fuck it’s so cold.”
Dazai engulfed him with his body, wrapping around him and hoping it was enough. He’d turned on the heater, dressed himself in a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants and prayed for the best. He ran his hands up and down Chuuya’s back, trying to bring any sort of comfort to the man in his arms.
He was glad Chuuya didn’t gain consciousness and rip the hotel room to shreds. Chuuya had been unaware of his surroundings but it was easier to get him into reality this time, Dazai supposed it had to do with the fact he was changed into comfortable clothes and wasn’t being forced into a tub of water.
“Well, you decided to fall into a lake of ice water.” Dazai teased lightly, hoping it shattered the anxiety his partner was no doubt feeling.
“Wasn’t my first choice,” Chuuya struggled around the words, but Dazai didn’t mind, he wanted him to keep talking and hold onto consciousness.
“So,” Dazai hummed, “It was an option on your list though?”
“No-” Chuuya shoved himself further into the blankets, “Screw you.”
Dazai made an amused noise, “I’m so grateful my partner chose to do something that would get me out of paperwork for a day.”
“I hate you,” Chuuya mumbled but Dazai could hear the smile in his voice.
“Mhm,” Dazai sighed, rubbing his hands against Chuuya again, “Can you feel your hands and feet?”
“Tingling,” Chuuya replied.
That was good, that meant he was on the road to getting through this. Their conversation turned hushed and quiet, small jokes and intimate words exchanged through gritted teeth and a convulsing body. Dazai wouldn’t dare to let go.
—
“So, I assume Nakahara lived?” Yosano quirked an eyebrow.
It was a week after they’d returned to Yokohama, a week since Chuuya was plunged into the freezing lake, a week since Dazai had been genuinely afraid.
Kunikida hadn’t mentioned the incident, pointing out that Dazai was late to work and continued to berate him as usual. He didn’t ask if Chuuya was okay, probably assumed if the Executive had been truly injured he’d know. Yosano, however, was his nosey counterpart.
She beckoned him into the infirmary and had closed the door behind herself before plopping down in a chair, Dazai knew what was to come.
“You should know, he’s hard to kill,” Dazai shrugged, putting on a bit of his theatrics, “I’ve been thinking of ways to kill him for seven years.”
“Sounds awfully obsessive,” She smirked as she leaned her head on her hand.
“Call it what you want,” Dazai smiled back, the conversation dipping a little too close to exposure for his liking.
“Y’know,” Yosano sighed, suddenly becoming serious, “I heard things through the wall.”
When Dazai didn’t respond, she continued, “It was muffled, but concerning nonetheless.”
“Dogs are loud,” Dazai responded unceremoniously.
“You sure you hate each other?”
“Positive.”