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A kiss of poison

Summary:

Maomao tries Yor's cooking and thinks of ways to repay her for allowing her to taste such an exquisite and mysterious poison. They kiss.

Notes:

i was so surprised to see that no one had written this before. i did my very best for this crossover crackfic and i hope you all enjoy maomao falling in love with yor's cooking!! uhm. i mean. with yor. yeah.

no spoilers (all pretty basic stuff for both media)

disclaimer: maomao is 22 where i'm at in the light novels and so that's how old she is for this. i actually tried writing something more mature but in the end i really couldn't take myself seriously enough to do it so this is supposed to be funny more than anything else:D

all comments welcome!! (except bots. you stay away. grrrr)

Work Text:

Yor woke up to the excited chatter of birds outside her window, seemingly unaware of the young woman sharing her bed at that moment. She yawned and stretched out her arms, rubbing her eyes as she sat up in her bed.

Hm?

In the process of trying to sit up, Yor felt a strange weight on her stomach. When she opened her eyes, she identified this weight as the arm of the girl in her bed. Her entire body froze over. She couldn’t recall what had happened last night or who this young woman was, and she was terrified at the thought that she might be in the room of a stranger.

A quick look around her surroundings confirmed that they were, indeed, in Yor’s bedroom.

Think, Yor, think!

She slapped her cheeks softly enough not to wake the strange girl. Though she couldn’t remember the previous night, searching through her memories brought to mind a conversation she had had with Loid the previous morning,

“As you know, our clinic has been welcoming a foreign apothecary to study medicine. Tonight, I’d like you to accompany my coworkers and I for her farewell dinner. I know Anya and I have to leave early tomorrow for her school field trip that I’m chaperoning, so I wanted to ask if you minded driving the apothecary to the port for her ship back to Li. I don’t want to inconvenience you, in any case.”

Loid had asked so nicely, yet Yor forgot so quickly! Panic rose quickly within her as she turned to look at the clock on her bedside table. It read 10:21. The apothecary’s ship was meant to leave at 9:30.

Yor gasped loudly at the realization that she was a failure of a wife, and the girl stirred next to her.

“Miss Yor? You’re awake?” the apothecary asked groggily with a heavy Linese accent.

“I’m so sorry!” Yor immediately stepped out of the bed and bowed in apology to the apothecary. “Your boat left already. I failed to wake up in time, I’m so sorry. I’ll go make you breakfast in apology.”

“It’s okay! I can take the next one. I’m not in any rush to get home,” the apothecary tried to reassure her, but Yor felt like there was no way to salvage her honour as Loid’s wife. She had failed to uphold her commitment. She scurried out of the room, not daring to look at the young woman a moment longer.

Beyond her sheer embarrassment, Yor had noticed that her guest was only wearing a light nightgown, and that much of her skin was exposed. To the prude older woman, this was too much to bear.

Maomao stayed in bed for a few minutes longer, staring ahead as she recollected her thoughts. Yor had drunk a lot last night, and though Maomao could handle her liquor with no difficulty, that had certainly not been the case for Yor. When she had embraced Maomao and insisted they sleep together, Maomao accepted it because it was simpler than refusing her in favour of the couch. She had noticed that Loid and Yor didn’t seem as intimate as other married couples present during her farewell party, and if there was some reason that Yor didn’t want to sleep with her husband, Maomao didn’t want to pry.

She got up slowly, not particularly concerned about missing her boat back to Li, and got dressed. She was wearing her typical attire. She had had to adapt to the fashion of Ostania while studying here, but she was on her way back to Li, so she thought she could return to what she liked to wear.

When Maomao went to the kitchen, Yor had already finished preparing breakfast. Though Maomao had tried to acclimate to Ostanian cooking, she couldn’t help but miss her home country’s cuisine. She had tried many dishes to no avail. Still, she had never seen anything quite like what Yor was making. It looked more or less like dark sludge, but Maomao didn’t want to comment something culturally insensitive, so she kept her opinion to herself, deciding to try Yor’s cooking with an open mind.

Yor, who had been doing her utmost to recall the apothecary’s name while she prepared breakfast, greeted her enthusiastically. “I hope you like it, Miss Maomao. I’ve been practicing my cooking recently, and this is a new recipe!”

“I hope it wasn’t too much trouble, but thank you for your hospitality,” Maomao responded politely.

She took a seat at the kitchen table, and Yor brought out two plates, one for each of them. Yor took a seat across from Maomao, watching intently for Maomao to take the first bite with a wide grin on her face.

Maomao picked up the spoon and brought some of the sludge—ahem, breakfast food—to her mouth. She struggled to recognize the ingredients, and she certainly wasn’t a fan of the taste, but…

There’s no mistaking it. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is poison.

Maomao was awash with blissfulness. Her eyes began tearing up and she couldn’t stop the chills running through her body. Trying to contain her glee, Maomao eyed Yor suspiciously. She looked slightly nervous, but more so because she hoped Maomao would like the food. Maomao couldn’t detect a hint of malice in Yor. So, Maomao chewed the food and swallowed it, allowing herself this moment of respite after months dedicated to formal training. She hadn’t had poison in so long.

“How is it? Do you like it?” Yor fidgeted in her chair as she asked these questions.

Maomao nodded. “I’ve never had anything quite like it, but it’s certainly potent. I’m surprised Ostanians can stomach it.”

At this moment, the door burst open, and a young man entered the apartment.

“Sister! I heard Loid was out of town, so I’m here to see you! How dare he leave-” Noticing Maomao at the table, Yuri stopped in his tracks. “Who is this?”

“Yuri!” Yor stood up, greeting her brother. “Would you like breakfast? I’ve just finished preparing some.”

Yuri’s eyes lit up. He’s just like me, thought Maomao, who thoroughly enjoyed eating poisonous food herself.

“Of course! I love your cooking!” Yor gave Yuri a plate and the pair went back to the table right as Maomao was swallowing her second spoonful.

“This is Miss Maomao. She’s an apothecary from Li who has been studying under Loid recently, though she’s going back to Li soon,” Yor explained. “And this, Miss Maomao, is my brother, Yuri.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Maomao bowed her head at Yuri in greeting, who looked at her, then at her plate, and back at her.

“Do you like my sister’s cooking?” he asked, seriousness taking over his previously enthusiastic face.

“Mmm, I think it’s among my favourites since I arrived here,” Maomao admitted. Though the taste left much to be desired, she enjoyed feeling the way her stomach was beginning to churn.

Yuri’s earlier skepticism dissipated immediately. “I’m glad you agree! Yor’s stupid husband never seems to appreciate it,” he grimaced at the mention of Loid.

It seems they really do have a bad relationship. Maomao made a mental note of it. “I think if I was married to someone who cooked like Yor, I would be sure to show my appreciation as much as I can. That said…” Maomao stood up to go to the bathroom, unable to hold in her incoming vomit any longer.

Yuri turned to his sister. “I like her. You should leave Loid for her.”

“What?” Yor’s face flushed red at the thought. “D-don’t be ridiculous, Yuri! I can’t marry Miss Maomao!” Yor brought her hands to her cheeks, trying to hide the confusing emotions bubbling up within her. She hadn’t considered leaving Loid, she couldn’t.

“Sister, if Loid left you alone with a love rival, he must have already given up. I knew he wasn’t to be trusted. You can be with Maomao freely.”

“That’s impossible!” Loid wouldn’t give up on her, Yor was sure of it. But then again, she had been such a failure of a wife. She hadn’t even woken up early enough to drive Maomao to the port, despite Loid having to wake up even earlier to drive Anya for her school trip. If that wasn’t enough, Loid had likely slept on the couch instead of Maomao, and he had left food for Yor in the fridge, which she noticed while getting breakfast ready. She couldn’t face him now. She might as well leave with Maomao…

“What’s impossible?” Maomao asked as she returned to the table. Yuri had already finished half his plate, but Yor looked distressed and hadn’t eaten much at all.

“No, Sister, I’m telling you, Loid doesn’t deserve you. You should marry Maomao instead.” Yuri slammed the table in his excitement, looking between the two women eagerly.

“Ah.” Maomao glanced at Yor, who was blushing intently, and realized her mistake. It wasn’t that Yor and Loid had an unhappy marriage in and of itself, it’s that Yor desperately yearned for female companionship. Though Maomao didn’t like to speculate, she became more and more certain of the conclusion she had come to, seeing Yor burst out crying. Of course she would be miserable in a marriage with a man if she only had eyes for women. Thankfully, her little brother seemed to be supportive.

“I know! I will leave you two to fall in love in peace,” Yuri exclaimed, going to the kitchen to pack some leftovers to bring with him. He shut the door behind him, leaving them alone as he had promised.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Maomao. Please don’t pay him any mind.” Yor’s eyes were still teary, and Maomao had to look away.

She probably woke us up late because she wanted to spend more time with me, Maomao thought. Still, that was what had allowed Maomao to try her blissfully dangerous cooking, so she couldn’t exactly complain.

Maomao stood up, putting a reassuring hand on Yor’s shoulder. “If… if there’s a way I can make you feel better, I’ll do it.” Maomao said, aware that her wording was a bit awkward. She still wasn’t as fluent in Yor’s language as she would’ve liked.

Yor looked up into Maomao’s eyes before pulling her closer. Maomao patted her back softly, trying to be understanding of her situation. “I just try to be a good wife for Loid, but it’s so difficult. I feel like I’m failing and worry that Loid and I would be better off separated. I just… I’m just glad he’s not here today.”

Maomao gulped at Yor’s admission that she intended to take advantage of his absence today, while Yor’s meaning was completely lost on her. What Yor had meant to convey was that she was glad that Loid wasn’t here to see her mistakes.

Maomao pulled back slightly, crouching down to be eye-level with Yor who was sitting down on a chair. “I have to take the next boat, which will leave tomorrow morning, but as long as you can help me get to the port, I’m yours for the day.” Maomao had been raised in the pleasure district. When her survival instinct kicked in, there was no room to judge. If Yor wanted Maomao, then Maomao would allow it, as long as she wasn’t prevented from going home.

“Of course, I promise to bring you to the port in time tomorrow. I won’t fail twice,” Yor asserted.

“Oh…? Did you only need me for one day?”

Yor tilted her head in confusion. Did she need Maomao? Yor pondered for a moment. She had asked her coworkers before about help to try and become a better wife, but it was difficult to do that without making herself vulnerable. She was always scared that someone would report her to the secret service and that it would be discovered that she was an assassin. If she were to ask Maomao for help, however, Maomao wouldn’t report her because she was returning to Li tomorrow anyway. “You would be willing to help me?” Yor asked, hopefulness replacing her confusion.

Maomao put a hand on her chest and grinned. “I was raised in the pleasure district after all. This wouldn’t be beyond my capabilities.”

Yor’s mouth gaped slightly in admiration. Maomao was thinking of skills far beyond what she needed, but she couldn’t admit that outright. “Uhm!” Yor gestured awkwardly, trying to explain that she didn’t need such mature help. “I- I don’t want you to do anything beyond what you’re comfortable with! Maybe just a little help? Only what you’re willing to share with me.”

“I really don’t mind! I can show you a few tricks for sure!” Maomao assured her.

 “What exactly do you have in mind, Miss Maomao?”

Firmly planted in their total misunderstanding, they leaned closer to one another. Maomao felt the warmth emanating from Yor. She truly looked nervous. Maomao wondered if she had never done anything of the sort when she placed her hand against Yor’s cheek. She looked between her lips and her eyes, checking for permission. Yor shivered under her touch but didn’t move away.

“What would you like to do?” Maomao breathed.

“Whatever a wife ought to,” Yor replied, matching Maomao’s tentative tone.

Maomao smiled, and planted a soft kiss on Yor’s forehead, then stood up to gather the dishes. She took them to the kitchen sink and began washing up.

In a way, that was a very wifely response, so if Yor’s face could have gotten any redder, it likely would have. She followed Maomao and peeked over her shoulder.

“I can do that myself! I can’t let a guest wash the dishes!”

Yor rushed to try and grab the rag from Maomao who turned around at her voice. The result: both of them standing a mere hair away from each other, with Yor’s arms enclosing Maomao’s body against the kitchen counter.

Yor moved back against the other kitchen counter, in embarrassment from moving like that against the poor girl. Maomao, trying to follow Yor’s train of thought, went up to Yor, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. Yor was taller than Maomao, so it made sense that Maomao had to look up at her to do it. Yet her eyes reminded Yor of the kiss Maomao had just given her. In her panic, because Yor wanted to show that she could be a good wife to Loid, she reached for Maomao and placed her lips on hers.

As Maomao picked up on the lingering taste of the breakfast they’d just had, her body trembled in excitement, and she deepened the kiss in response.

Perhaps if anyone else was around, they would be able to tell Yor that this was not normal behaviour, and that kissing someone of the same sex was still considered adultery.

But no one was around.

Time passed, and their lips remained on each other’s, from the kitchen counter to the couch in the living room.

They kept at it until Maomao had to leave the next day and they lived happily ever after, without ever bringing up their secret tryst to anyone else.

Needless to say, Yor felt very satisfied from having completed such an intense training on wifely duties. She was looking forward to showing off her skills to her husband.