Work Text:
If Seonghwa really thought about it, he'd known something was up with Hongjoong for a while now. The strange work hours, the times he'd leave for unexplained "business trips" on a moment's notice, the thousand other tiny hints that things were not as they seemed. Seonghwa wasn't stupid. He'd known Hongjoong for years, had loved him just as long, no secret Hongjoong had had ever stayed a secret forever. Still, if you asked Seonghwa what he thought his boyfriend was up to, he wouldn't exactly have guessed this.
Seonghwa ran a hand over his face, biting the knuckle of his index finger to wake himself up a bit more. It had been a long shift, and he was starting to really feel the past ten hours eating away at him the longer he sat on a random bench outside the grocery store his fellow EMTs had decided they'd all spend their downtime at. Seonghwa was meant to be on break, but as he watched them busy their hands with chores and review work all he could feel was useless. It was important for him to have these breaks, he knew that. If he didn't take them when he was supposed to the exhaustion and mental stress of his job would only be worse, and he'd have his senior Class 2 on his case. Not that he really minded, since he knew Minho was only trying to look out for him and make sure he didn't burn himself out, but it was still a tiny bit annoying.
It would be easier to make the time pass if Hongjoong would just answer his phone. Usually, Seonghwa would spend his breaks either texting or calling him, since with both of their inconsistent work schedules it could be hard for them to both find time for each other that wasn't cut short. Seonghwa hadn't spoken to Hongjoong since last night at around seven, when Hongjoong suddenly ducked into the kitchen to inform Seonghwa that his boss was requesting he come in to the studio to work on something urgent. He was apologetic about it, as always, but it still left Seonghwa with the same bitter taste on the back of his tongue that he'd been growing uncomfortably used to as of late. He loved Hongjoong. He couldn't really picture a world where he didn't, but sometimes it was hard to deal with how little time they actually got with each other. There were days where he wished he could reach out and stop Hongjoong from leaving. Grab him tight and beg him to stay, to choose Seonghwa before work. But that wouldn't be fair, and it would make Seonghwa a massive hypocrite considering the non-zero amount of times he'd gotten out of bed in the dead of night to race to some emergency site when they ended up needing more personnel than anticipated.
Still, maybe Seonghwa was a bit selfish, because right now all he wanted was for Hongjoong to stop doing whatever important thing he was probably doing at work and pick up the phone. Talk Seonghwa's ear off about music or fashion, anything to distract him from the looming exhaustion. He couldn't wait until he got off work, and until Hongjoong got home, and he could curl up with him and pretend that he wasn't dreading the fact that they'd both have to go back into the real world in the morning. That he hadn't started to feel like there were days where if Hongjoong was asked to pick between keeping his job or keeping Seonghwa, he'd choose the former. He hated himself for thinking that, but it didn't stop him from stewing in it.
"Come on." He whispered to himself, staring down at the darkened phone screen in his hand and willing it to turn on. It only made him feel a little crazy, to be talking to himself in public. He was just tired enough that he didn't care. Just tired enough that a part of him believed that saying it out loud would mean Hongjoong might miraculously hear him and answer. "Come on, Hongjoong-ah."
Of course, nothing happened. Not that Seonghwa really thought it would, but he guessed there was a small part of him that liked to believe in magic. Or, rather, that he had some sort of latent superpower that meant he could speak things into existence. Frankly, it was unfair that he didn't.
"Seonghwa-yah." Seonghwa looked up at the sound of Minho's voice. He settled on the bench beside him and held out a clipboard of paperwork. "Trade you?"
Seonghwa nearly groaned, but found he didn't quite have the energy to joke around at the moment. Instead, he pocketed his phone and took the clipboard and pen Minho offered him, watching out of the corner of his eye as he sank back against the bench and hummed.
"Everything okay?" Minho asked him, Seonghwa nodding absently as he flipped through charts and filled out what he could. "Just a little longer, Seonghwa-yah."
"Yeah." Seonghwa said, chewing at his bottom lip. Unless we get another call, he didn't say, because if he did have a latent "speaking things into existence" superpower, he didn't want to speak that. Two more hours, and he could go back home and curl up in bed and wait for Hongjoong to come home and wake him up with a gentle kiss on the head and the offer to order dinner in, which Seonghwa would of course decline because as much of a hassle as it could be he still found so much pride in cooking for Hongjoong. He smiled in spite of himself, imagining it. It only lasted a few seconds before the memory of last night wiped it away.
Seonghwa, halfway through making dinner, and Hongjoong swinging around the corner with a guilty expression on his face that Seonghwa was entirely sick of seeing. Maybe it would be easier to just take Hongjoong up on the offer to order in, at least so he didn't have to put in all the effort only for the same thing to happen again.
"You know," Minho started, "if you want, you could always talk to me."
"It's nothing, Minho-yah." Seonghwa said, trying to distract himself by reading over a chart even though he already knew the layout of the thing front-and-back. If he were more egotistical, he might say he could fill out one of these with his eyes closed. "Nothing's wrong."
"Right." Minho said, a lilt in his voice that told Seonghwa he absolutely didn't believe him. "I've been doing this longer than you have. I know an 'I just want this shift to end' look when I see it. And I especially know it because you only have them when things are really stressing you out, so what's up?"
Seonghwa took in a too-long breath and shook his head. "It's fine."
"I won't tell the kid." Minho offered, and Seonghwa watched a pinky enter his periphery and looked over to see the lopsided smile on Minho's face. "The kid," of course, referred to the Class 1 EMT he and Minho were partnered with, who just so happened to be one of Seonghwa's closest friends since forever. He kind of hated that the promise that nothing he was worried about would get back to Wooyoung did help. The last thing he wanted was for Wooyoung to take the information into his own hands and start badgering Hongjoong about his workaholism. Well, more than he already did.
Minho moved his outstrecthed pinky closer to Seonghwa and Seonghwa sighed before setting his pen down to wrap his own around it. Minho grinned, releasing the promise and sitting forward to listen more intently. Seonghwa reluctantly opened his mouth. "It's Hongjoong. He's been working more and more lately and…I'm worried."
"About?" Minho asked.
"I don't know. A couple things, I guess." Seonghwa answered, fiddling with the edge of a paper before remembering himself and starting to take out his nerves on the comparably more sturdy clipboard instead. "He's always overworking himself. He keeps coming home so exhausted it seems like he's sometimes in physical pain."
"Aish, creatives." Minho bemoaned, and Seonghwa couldn't help but crack a tiny smile at the familiar exasperation on his features. Sometimes, Seonghwa forgot that Minho understood his struggles even beyond their shared profession. It was a little eerie how similar they were, but more than that Seonghwa thought it was nice to look at someone and see all his experiences mirrored. Even though Minho was technically younger than Seonghwa by a few months, sometimes Seonghwa felt like he could look up to Minho. After all, he'd not only been a paramedic for longer, he'd gone through all the same workaholic-producer-boyfriend struggles that Seonghwa had and come out the other side so much better for it. A few years ago, Seonghwa had been listening to Minho complain about much the same things Seonghwa was dealing with now, and now he and Chan were one of the healthiest couples Seonghwa had ever seen and while Minho still had the occasional complaint, they always seemed more like playful ribbing than real gripes. Seonghwa could only hope he could get to that point with Hongjoong.
"It's more than that, though." Seonghwa admitted, scratching at a groove in the clipboard from where some other bored EMT must have dug their pen in over an over. "I'm…I'm worried that I'm starting to resent him for it."
Minho was quiet for a second before nodding. "Ah."
"That sounds so horrible, doesn't it?" Seonghwa whispered. "I know his work is important. I know he can't control how much they ask of him, but sometimes I wish he'd just tell them no instead of running out on me on what feels like every off-day we get."
"It doesn't sound horrible." Minho said gently. "But it does sound like you two are long overdue an actual conversation about this."
"I've tried." Seonghwa said, even though he knew better than anyone that his stupid attempts at getting Hongjoong to stay by just holding onto him or saying in way too light of a tone to "stayyy" didn't count.
"Well, try harder." Minho said, more lighthearted. His features softened again a second later. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but you can't just wait your way through this. If you want things to change, you need to talk to him, and you need to be ready for it not to be an easy fix."
Seonghwa swallowed, his throat feeling dry. He knew Minho was right, he knew he was speaking from experience and that as much as he and Chan seemed perfect from the outside there was a high likelyhood it took them several long-winded fights to actually get to that point, but he was scared. He didn't want to fight with Hongjoong. He didn't want to risk trying to get Hongjoong to take more time off work only to be met with "you know I can't, Hwa." Or worse, any version of "my work is the most important thing in my life." Seonghwa just didn't think he could handle hearing that fear confirmed.
He was about to ask Minho what it was like when he'd tried to talk to Chan about this, but he was interrupted by Wooyoung popping his head out of the window of the ambulance's cab and hurriedly gesturing them over. In seconds, he and Minho were up and off the bench, Seonghwa getting into the back and closing the doors as Minho hopped into the cab with Wooyoung. Seonghwa sat himself near to the partition between the cab and the body of the ambulance as Wooyoung put them into drive, lights and sirens on. Lights and sirens. Shit.
"What are we looking at?" He asked.
"Fight between two superpowered individuals, no known civilian casualties, possible injuries but there's another ambulance that will take care of them..." Minho said, reading off the tablet he had displaying their dispatch information. "Looks like our main patient is going to be one of the SPI's—witness said Lucky Star went down hard after the fight. Say he was slammed into a wall and didn't get back up. Conscious, though."
"So no penetrative injuries, but maybe a concussion and broken bones." Wooyoung rattled off. Seonghwa could see him glance over to Minho for confirmation and smiling when Minho affirmed his assesment. Seonghwa couldn't help but smile himself.
"That is, if he's even still there when we arrive." Seonghwa reminded. He hated to crush Wooyoung's hopes of potentially getting to treat a superhero, especially since he knew Wooyoung was pretty enamored with them, but he'd done this song and dance a few times before. In almost all responses he'd run with a superpowered individual as the patient, there was an eighty-five percent chance said patient would be gone by the time they arrived, assisted by some sort of healing factor or just not wanting to risk having their identity exposed by medical personnel. That kind of thing had only happened once or twice before, and the people that leaked the information were pretty swiftly fired or had their medical licenses revoked for impeding patient confidentiality, but it was supposedly enough to put most superheroes off of ever actually going in for treatment. Seonghwa didn't know that he blamed them, but it was always extremely annoying to show up to a call only for no patient to be there.
"Worst case, there are still some civilians there that need our help." Minho said, and Seonghwa nodded even though he knew neither of them could see him from where he was sat in the back of the ambulance.
The rest of the ride went by quickly. As it turned out, they weren't far from the scene of the fight and Wooyoung was a shockingly good ambulance driver when it came down to it. Seonghwa had been reluctant when Wooyoung told him he was switching careers to become an EMT. He knew what this job could do to people, he knew what it sometimes did to him, and he didn't want someone he looked at like a little brother to have to face those same things. But he had to admit, Wooyoung had taken to it much better than Seonghwa could have anticipated. At the very least, it suited him far more than the dead-end desk job he'd been working for the six years prior.
Still, Wooyoung was largely inexperienced, and Seonghwa was forced to remember it when they arrived on scene and as he got out of the ambulance he heard Minho rapidly explain what was going on. It took Seonghwa a moment to realize as he rushed towards one of the officers corralling people away from the incident site that this was probably the biggest trauma event Wooyoung had ever responded to. There were maybe three ambulances including them on scene, a fire truck, and a handful of police cars including one that was specifically designed for transporting superpowered individuals. Seonghwa had witnessed this kind of scene enough times to know what he was doing, though, and he beelined straight through the crowd.
"Thank god, you're here for the super?" The officer who was corralling people stopped, ushering an older woman along and making towards Seonghwa. Seonghwa couldn't help but notice the barely disguised frustration in his tone. "Can you please get him off the ground? People are refusing to leave until they can see him okay."
Seonghwa nodded, deciding to bite his tongue and start in the direction the officer indicated. He understood where the frustration was coming from, this guy had been tasked with clearing the scene and people were making that harder for him, but Seonghwa also didn't exactly blame all the people who wanted to make sure someone hadn't just died trying to save them. Hero or not, Lucky Star was still a person under the mask. Seonghwa didn't think it was fair to expect him to bounce right back up just for the sake of reassuring people if he was in fact seriously injured.
Seonghwa made his way through the bustle, past the clear evidence of a fight. He could see what appeared to be scorch marks on some of the walls which lead him to believe the other person in the fight with Lucky Star probably had fire powers of some kind. Mentally, Seonghwa added burns to the list of possible traumas he might have to treat, and tried not to outwardly grimace in response. Burns were never fun to look at or treat, but burns from fire powers were almost always far more severe than natural burns, since they had actual force and intent to harm behind them.
Along with the scorch marks were a lot of broken glass and debris, evidence of Lucky Star's power set. Seonghwa couldn't claim to know all too much about it, given he never really was all that into superheroes after hitting high school, but he'd picked up a few things after responding to the aftermath of enough of his fights. The most Seonghwa understood was that Lucky Star had some sort of ability to control sound waves, and that meant his fights often came with a good amount of damage done to the area. Surprisingly, though, no civilian's ear drums had ever been harmed, at least not that Seonghwa knew of. That fact alone was enough to put Lucky Star above a few other superheroes in his book, since he at least seemed to care whether or not his powers hit civilians when he was "fighting evil." Though, he got knocked down a couple pegs for the fact that he was one of the supers who tended to evade medical care. Seonghwa didn't know if he had a healing factor, but whether he did or not, it was bothersome that he kept escaping the scene before paramedics could arrive. If not for the annoying waste of resources, then because Seonghwa couldn't help but think of how dangerous it was to get injured that frequently without seeking any sort of medical attention.
It seemed, though, that it had finally caught up to him. As Seonghwa rounded a corner, newly comprised of what might've been a building's wall a few hours ago, he caught sight of a recognizable black and orange suit. He sped up, taking in the way Lucky Star was lying crumpled on the ground with an arm loosely protecting his ribs. The wall behind him was cracked with the seeming force of the impact he'd made with it, some scorch marks around the edges of it. Seonghwa dropped to one knee beside him, surveying the scene and scanning for anything dangerous that might've been missed when police were clearing it. He pulled gloves out of the first aid kit he brought with him, slipping them on quickly as he tried to make eye-contact with Lucky Star through the mask that was obscuring his face. Seonghwa had a feeling it'd be hard even if he wasn't wearing it though, given how bleary and far away his eyes looked from here.
"Lucky Star, sir, I'm Park Seonghwa. I'm a paramedic with one of the ambulances. I'm here to take a quick look at you, okay?" Seonghwa asked, gingerly setting a hand on the arm Lucky Star was using to cover his ribs, preparing to remove it. Lucky Star made a garbled noise in the back of his throat and Seonghwa frowned. He gently set a hand on Lucky Star's arm. "Sir, I'm going to move your arm to check your injuries. Could you tell me what happened?"
Lucky Star hummed, almost a whimper, as Seonghwa gently pulled the arm away from his ribs. Almost immediately Seonghwa could see evidence of burns on his suit, but no major bleeds stuck out to him. "…Seong…hwa."
"Yes, sir, that's my name. I'm Seonghwa." Seonghwa said, already starting to pull the scissors from his first aid kit to cut off the suit so he could better expose the very likely burn injuries under it. "Can you try and tell me what happened? There was a fight, yes?"
"Yes." Lucky Star said, before another choked up noise came from him. Seonghwa started cutting through the torso of the suit and silently willed Minho and Wooyoung to get there soon. It wasn't completely urgent, since Lucky Star was still speaking, but his airway needed to be cleared soon. And he needed a second paramedic there to stabilize the c-spine for him to flip Lucky Star on his back and check his breathing properly. Lucky Star suddenly flinched, hand trying to cover his wounds again, and Seonghwa gently pushed it away. "Was…was anyone…hurt? Is...why are you…here?"
"I'm here for you, sir." Seonghwa explained, trying to push down his slight grimace at seeing the burn wounds. As gnarly as any burn could be, but at least the suit seemingly protected Lucky Star from any major damage, since the burns Seonghwa could see all appeared to be second degree instead of third. They were blistering, which was probably why Lucky Star flinched when Seonghwa pulled away the fabric over them, but they didn't appear to go too deep. "And everyone else is in good hands, okay? Focus on you right now."
Lucky Star let out a hiss of pain but remained still this time. "…Hurts…Hwa."
Seonghwa didn't think about it much in the moment, but something in the way Lucky Star said his name immediately made his chest tighten. He'd heard it said like that before, in that same exact voice, but he was too caught up to connect any dots. "What hurts?"
"Everything." Lucky Star said with a huff that might've been an attempt at a laugh. He made a choking sound again and Seonghwa looked back over his shoulder as if he could will Minho and Wooyoung into running around the corner. He bit his bottom lip but tried to school his expression back into one that was more sure-of-himself. He changed out his gloves quickly.
"Sir, I'm going to need to remove your mask to check your airway, and see if you have a concussion. Okay?" Seonghwa asked, hands already moving to the bottom edge of the mask. Lucky Star let out a sharp breath but in the moment Seonghwa couldn't identify it as anything more than another bit of evidence for a blocked airway or likewise damage to the lungs.
Seonghwa saw the blown out pupil in the right eye before he realized whose eyes he was looking into. He saw the blood trickling from the corner of the mouth before he saw who it belonged to. He opened his mouth to start asking questions from the concussion checklist burned into his brain, only for the words to die on his lips when his eyes caught on, of all things, reddish brown hair, matted and dark with blood. It was the exact same shade as Hongjoong's. He'd dyed it a few days ago.
Seonghwa's heart clawed its way up his throat as suddenly the puzzle pieces of the patient's face started to click together all too quickly. As suddenly he wasn't treating some nameless faceless superhero but Hongjoong. Who was supposed to be at work right now. Who was supposed to be ruining his eyesight with a computer screen two inches from his face instead of lying in a back alley with his eyes so hazy with pain and delirium that Seonghwa didn't even recognize them at first. Seonghwa had always thought he'd recognize Hongjoong anywhere. Why the hell wasn't that true?
"Hwa." Hongjoong wheezed, and Seonghwa felt something loose inside of him go taut again. Hongjoong is dying. Hongjoong is dying. Do something, do something, do something.
"You're going to be okay." Seonghwa said, even though his voice was way too shaky and he didn't even know if he was trying to comfort Hongjoong or himself. "Can you—what happened?"
Hongjoong blinked at him blearily, making a weak sound again, and Seonghwa felt like an idiot. Years of training, years of experience in the field, gone in the blink of an eye. Airway. Clear the airway. Where the hell is Minho?
Seonghwa fumbled with the kit at his side, trying to find the prepped suction tool and trying not to think about the fact he was going to need to clear the airway of his boyfriend who was in pain "everywhere" and was struggling to breathe normally and speak full sentences. It was fine. It was all going to be fine. Just another patient.
Seonghwa's head snapped up at the sound of footsteps approaching and, even though he knew the best thing would've been to just stay where he was and wait for Minho and Wooyoung to arrive, and even though he knew three pairs of hands was better than two, suddenly he couldn't think about anything but the fact that he didn't want Wooyoung to see this. If it was throwing Seonghwa off his game this much, what would it do to Wooyoung? Seonghwa had at least transported some people he knew before, granted not many, and not people he knew as well as Hongjoong, but he at least knew what he was supposed to do in this case. Wooyoung hadn't. And more than that, Hongjoong probably didn't want Wooyoung to know he was anything more than a normal person. If Seonghwa tried, he could convince himself this was about simple patient privacy. Nothing more.
Seonghwa jumped to his feet and made it for the rubble-corner quickly, trying to school his face into something other than the pure panic he was feeling. He could tell Minho and Wooyoung were surprised to see him before they even made it to the corner, and Minho could tell by the way Minho's jaw tensed that he fully expected Seonghwa to say the patient was dead. Seonghwa shook his head and started talking. "Patient is conscious and breathing. But Wooyoung this is above your class, go sit in the ambulance or see if any of the other teams need help."
Wooyoung looked surprised for a second but thankfully didn't protest more than making a noise that seemed like he wanted to, but knew better. He gave Seonghwa a lingering look before backing up and letting Seonghwa take his side of the gurney. Seonghwa took it and started moving him and Minho back towards Hongjoong before Wooyoung had even started to leave. "Hey, not to critique your call, but above his class or not, we should at least let him watch so he learns—"
"I'm going to stabilize c-spine, can you please roll him onto his back and suction? His airway is obstructed." Seonghwa cut Minho off, sounding frantic enough that Minho actually stopped talking instead of trying to barrell on like he usually would. Minho raised an eyebrow but nodded as they set the gurney down a couple feet away from where Hongjoong was laying. Seonghwa kneeled on the ground at the top of his head, setting his hands on either side of his face and stabilizing his neck. Seonghwa could see the exact moment Minho recognized Hongjoong and put two and two together, but he graciously didn't say anything about it, instead wordlessly helping Seonghwa roll Hongjoong off of his side while being careful of the fact his back was almost definitely injured from hitting the wall.
As soon as Hongjoong was on his back he was staring up at Seonghwa, bruised lips pulling apart to reveal a smile, his teeth stained red with his own blood. Seonghwa really really hoped it was just because he'd bitten his tongue when he'd hit the wall, and not a sign of a punctured lung. "Hi."
Seonghwa shushed him gently, putting on a reassuring smile. "Hi, Joongie. Minho-yah's going to try and clear your airway now. Can you open your mouth for me?"
Hongjoong mumbled something incoherent but did as instructed. Seonghwa resolutely ignored the way Minho looked at him as he went to suction the blood out of Hongjoong's airway, focusing instead on keeping his hands and in turn Hongjoong's neck as steady as possible. He also tried to will his mind far away as Minho went through the motions of clearing Hongjoong's airway and checking his breathing to see if they'd need to start supplemental breathing. Tried to put himself in the headspace of this really being any other patient, even though Hongjoong was making it hard with how he kept mumbling Seonghwa's name and various random things at him. He really wished Hongjoong's clearly concussed mind had latched onto something about the fight instead of Seonghwa's presence. At least then they could figure out more about the mechanism of injury, and Seonghwa could think about that instead of the fact Hongjoong was so out of it that he kept trying to ask Seonghwa the same question about flowers over and over again. Seonghwa had stopped answering after the second time. He couldn't turn his mind off if he kept thinking about it.
"Seonghwa-yah." Minho said sharply, pulling Seonghwa back into the present. The tone of his voice told Seonghwa that this probably wasn't the first time he'd tried to get his attention, and immediately Seonghwa felt sick with guilt. "Cervical collar?"
"Right." Seonghwa said, removing his hands from Hongjoong's neck to let Minho replace them with a cervical collar to keep it stable.
"Breath is weak, but he's not struggling. We'll prop him up when we get back to the ambulance, and I'll start the EKG and give him painkillers." Minho said, laying it all out like Seonghwa was still a Class 1, needing to be talked through every step like he hadn't done this whole song and dance a hundred times over. "Help me get him on the gurney and cover any identifying features. Media arrived shortly after you left."
"Oh." Seonghwa said instead of anything useful, but did as Minho asked of him. They settled Hongjoong on the gurney and Seonghwa checked Hongjoong's head for bleeding or injuries before pulling the mask back over his head to hide his identity from whatever cameras could be lurking out there. Minho covered him with the shock blanket to hide his injuries until they could get back to the privacy of the ambulance, and took charge as they started moving Hongjoong into the open.
The rush back to the ambulance was a blurry mess for Seonghwa. He could barely make out Minho's voice above the commotion of so many people all clammoring over Lucky Star's condition, and trying to maneuever through the crowd was awful even with the help of officers and fire personnel trying to clear them a path. By the time they got Hongjoong loaded into the ambulance and the doors closed, Seonghwa felt like he was barely clinging to reality, and it must've shown on his face because Minho took one look at him and grabbed his shoulder.
"Seonghwa, go sit in the cab." He said, no room for argument in his tone.
Seonghwa tried anyway. "No. No, I can help."
"Not right now." Minho said, already starting to get an IV and EKG set up.
"You can't do this all on your own." Seonghwa tried, but his voice wasn't the commanding thing he wanted it to be.
"I can, and I have." Minho said, shoving Seonghwa towards the doors. Seonghwa felt his heart pick up at the sight of Hongjoong's own, quickened rate on the screen. Minho sighed. "Seonghwa-yah, this is not commentary on your abilities, but you're only going to get in the way if you stay back here. Go sit in the cab and get us moving."
Seonghwa hesitated for a second, not wanting to leave and let Hongjoong out of his sight, but he knew Minho was right. He quickly got out of the back of the ambulance and ran around to the cab, getting into the passenger seat. "Lights and sirens."
Wooyoung nodded, throwing the ambulance into motion and starting their trip to the nearest hospital. Seonghwa turned back so he could see through the divider into where Hongjoong was. It didn't help much, given the awkward angle he was at, but even seeing the top of Hongjoong's head and Minho doing seemingly everything in his power to keep him alive was enough to quiet his anxieties even just slightly.
He reached for the work phone in the glove box and found the contact for the hospital Wooyoung had routed them towards. He took a tiny breath before he hit the call button, quiet so that Wooyoung wouldn't worry but hopefully enough to pull himself together so that he could get the information he needed to out. "Hello this is Park Seonghwa, I have a twenty-seven year old male with burn wounds on the chest, a likely concussion, and suspected trauma to the back and ribs. We'll arrive in around ten to fifteen minutes, I'm going to hand you off to my senior EMT for more information."
Seonghwa made eye-contact with Minho through the divider and once he got a nod he handed the phone through and listened as Minho started rattling off the medications and procedures he'd given. He could feel the heat of Wooyoung's side-glances, probably just now starting to wonder why Seonghwa wasn't back there too. Why Minho was being left to take care of a patient in poor condition alone, and why Seonghwa didn't know what procedures had been done enough to relay them to the nurse on the other end of the line. He tried not to react as he waited for Minho to hand the phone back through so he could store it in the glove box again.
Through the rest of the ride, Seonghwa kept his eyes forward. Even when he stopped being able to faintly hear Hongjoong's voice and when Minho also eventually stopped talking. Every cell in his body seemed to be screaming for him to turn around and ask Minho what was happening. If Hongjoong was stable, if he was conscious, if they needed to pull over so Seonghwa could get into the back and help, but he did his best not to. If Seonghwa was going to put the life of another into anyone's hands but his own, he'd choose Minho's. He was smart, he was capable. Everything's going to be fine.
"Stay here." Seonghwa told Wooyoung as soon as they arrived in the ambulance loading zone, jumping out of the cab before Wooyoung could ask why he wasn't allowed to help. He ran around to the back of the ambulance and threw the doors open just as it seemed Minho was starting to get Hongjoong ready to move. Seonghwa immediately noticed the oxygen mask that had been put on him and tried not to freak out about it. At least it wasn't a manual bag-mask. At least it wasn't a rebreather.
Minho didn't say anything about his presence, but did give him a tiny once over as they got Hongjoong's now-unconscious form out of the back of the ambulance. Almost like he was looking for any reason to tell Seonghwa to go back to the cab. Thankfully he didn't seem to find anything and let Seonghwa help him push Hongjoong through the doors into the emergency room.
Almost immediately the lights and sounds put Seonghwa on edge in a way they usually never did, and the urgency with which one of the doctors approached them and Minho started talking only left him feeling more disoriented. "Patient is a twenty-seven year old male, unconscious as of seven minutes ago, second degree burns to the chest and upper arms. Suspected concussion, suspected trauma to the back and ribs. Tachycardic at one-eleven. Shortness of breath when conscious and adventitious breath sounds unilaterally, suspected pneumothorax. He's on a non-rebreather at ten LPM, I've administered two doses of intravenous morphine for pain relief."
"Any known medical history or allergies?" The doctor asked, joining Minho in pulling the gurney towards an exam room.
"He has vasovagal syncope, but he's not on any medication. It's self-managed." Seonghwa said quickly. "And no allergies to any medication."
"Vasovagal and you administered morphine?" The doctor asked, brow furrowed. Seonghwa tried not to grimace.
"He's not actively hypotensive, and fentanyl's rapid onset would have caused respiratory depression too quickly given the circumstances." Minho explained immediately, not even seeming thrown off by the new information or the doctor's accusatory look. The doctor nodded, turning away from Minho to keep ushering them forward and start directing other members of the ER staff where he needed them. Soon enough more attendants came to take Minho and Seonghwa's spots at the gurney and they were left out in the hallway. Seonghwa tried to take a step back in the direction of the ambulance but Minho stopped him with a hand on his chest.
"Minho-yah." Seonghwa tried, but Minho only levied him with a glare.
"Clock out, Seonghwa." He said, and Seonghwa felt his shoulders sink unconsciously.
"I still have an hour left on my shift—" Seonghwa tried, but Minho shook his head firmly.
"I'm not asking as your friend, I'm telling you as your senior paramedic." Minho said, strict in a way he usually wasn't with Seonghwa. Or, at least, hadn't been since Seonghwa was still a Class 1 and the two of them weren't yet as close as they are. Seonghwa's gaze darted towards the room Hongjoong was in, where he could now hear the faster than average beeping of the heartrate monitor they had him hooked up to. He couldn't get himself to try and hear it as any of the other tens of beeping machines on the floor. It was like the pitch was different, a dogwhistle for his ears alone. That's your partner dying in there. Your idiot partner. You're really going to leave him here? Minho's face softened a fraction. "Wooyoung and I will be fine by ourselves for the hour before we switch off with night-shift. Sit down and wait for him. I'll sign you in before I do his charts."
Seonghwa's mouth opened on instinct to argue again, but he closed it after a second and nodded. "Okay."
Minho's hand gently traveled from Seonghwa's chest to his shoulder and squeezed it once. "You did good."
With that, Minho left, leaving Seonghwa standing awkwardly in the middle of the emergency room. For a moment he just remained there, listening to Hongjoong's tachy heartrate and the movement of the ER around him. It sounded like all of it was coming in through speakers. Like he was sitting in a movie theater or on the couch at home, Hongjoong under his arm watching some medical drama. One of the ones that had Seonghwa complaining about how the fake-doctors alway prioritized romance, and always seemed so unrealistically perfect under his breath as Hongjoong laughed and used the opportunity to push his buttons. He could almost hear the too-loud, too-situationally-inappropriate soundtrack sung by some idol. Could almost imagine himself as a background extra, who's way too attention-grabbing and incites all kinds of "what is that extra doing?" "why is he just standing there?" comments from forums about the episode.
He should sit down. He doesn't want to be an out-of-place extra.
"Park Seonghwa?" A woman in scrubs asked him, and Seonghwa startled slightly at her suddenness. He swore he hadn't even seen her walk towards him. "I'm a nurse here. Your senior EMT explained the situation to me. Maybe you'd like to wait somewhere quieter?"
And more out of the way, Seonghwa was sure she was trying to say. He didn't blame her. If he wasn't him, he'd think he was being unnecessarily dramatic about all of this. He nodded at her and let her lead him to a quiet room where other family members of patients seemed to be waiting. He was surprised to find he didn't recognize it. It wasn't like he spent all that much time in the hospital, he hardly spent much time in the ER and that was the main area he was needed, but for some reason he always thought that if someone he knew was ever being seen he'd know the place in and out.
But then, he also thought he'd know Hongjoong anywhere, and he didn't recognize him until his mask was off. Maybe Seonghwa was more clueless than he thought.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there. He watched a couple people leave and one family enter, a couple with a young child who seemed to lock onto the toys set out on one of the coffee tables almost instantly. Seonghwa found it slightly endearing, but couldn't focus on the cuteness of it for long before he was distracted by a song playing quietly over the little radio they had going in the room. Seonghwa recognized it, vaguely, and it took only a few seconds for him to realize it was a song Hongjoong had produced for a boy group years ago. He remembered listening to the rough drafts of it late into the night a year after the met, the two of them crammed against each other on Hongjoong's old garage-sale-find loveseat like it wasn't big enough to fit three people.
When the song ended, he found he couldn't listen to what came on next. It just kept looping over and over again in his head until a different nurse came in and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, smiling at him slightly when he looked up at her. "Park Seonghwa? We wanted to update you on Kim Hongjoong's condition."
Seonghwa was out of his seat in barely a second and he could tell it startled the nurse slightly, though she was clearly trying not to show it as she quietly lead him out into the hallway. Immediately it put him on edge, but he was sure that if she were about to tell him that Hongjoong was dead she would've taken him to a seperate private room instead of into the hallway. Even if there was no one around. Then again, clearly Seonghwa didn't understand the inner workings of a hospital nearly as well as he thought.
"How is he?" Seonghwa asked, voice loud to his own ears even though he was sure he wasn't shouting.
"He's stable. We're moving him to a private room outside of the ER for light monitoring, but he should be cleared for discharge within forty-eight hours." She explained, and Seonghwa felt tension he didn't realize he was holding loosen. "But, he's still sedated and will stay unconscious for another few hours at least. If you want, now might be a good time to go home and change, maybe eat something. He's being well taken care of, and we'll be sure to contact you immediately if anything changes."
Seonghwa nodded absently, turning her words over in his head for way longer than necessary. Go home and change. Oh, he was still in uniform, wasn't he? Maybe that was a good idea. The nurse watched him for a few more seconds before smiling a bit awkwardly again and turning away. Seonghwa absentmindedly began following her, unaware of the fact that she wasn't trying to get him to until she turned into a doored-off corridor and closed the door behind her. He tried to turn and find an exit, but realized too slowly that he had no idea where the main entrance to the hospital was. And, further, that his car wasn't parked here. It was parked in a garage miles away, near the ambulance station.
He reached for his back pocket where his phone would usually be after a shift only to realize he'd never gone back to the ambulance for any of his belongings. He'd been too busy standing in the hallway and Minho had promised to do everything for him, so Seonghwa hadn't gone back.
It took him a few more seconds to decide that the best course of action was probably to go out to the parking lot, maybe see if Minho and Wooyoung were still parked in the ambulance. Maybe sit there for a few hours before it got dark enough to go inside and check in with a nurse again. He felt like a dead man walking as he made his way through the hospital, following signage until he made it to the ER and eventually out into the attached parking lot. He walked around the side of it to where he knew the ambulance loading zone was and stalled when he saw nothing there. He stood around for a few more seconds before sitting down on the curb in defeat, his shoes dark pits against the brightly painted asphalt.
"Seonghwa-yah, thank god." Minho's voice sounded, and Seonghwa looked up to see Minho leaving a car parked nearby with a familiar bag slung over his shoulder. "I hoped you might come out here. You left this."
He held out Seonghwa's bag for him and Seonghwa reached for it, taking it and fishing his phone out from inside. He had a missed text from Wooyoung asking if he was okay, apparently because "Minho-hyung told me you weren't feeling well," and a few random notifications he cleared from his screen out of habit. "Thank you, Minho-yah."
"Need a ride?" Minho asked, and Seonghwa only hesitated a second before taking his outstretched hand and letting himself be helped up off the curb.
Minho didn't say much on the drive to the parking garage where Seonghwa left his car, only giving a quick "call me if you need anything" as Seonghwa got out. Seonghwa quietly promised to and let Minho go, getting to his own car and turning his key in the ignition on autopilot. His phone connected to the car's bluetooth automatically and Seonghwa watched as the navigation popped up on the dash.
Suggested location: Home. 11.3 kilometers away.
Seonghwa started the car.
—
Seonghwa returned to the hospital after only an hour at home. It was enough time to shower and change and put a protein bar in his pocket, but staying there for any longer made him feel like he was going insane. Time seemed to move so differently. He hardly felt tethered to his own consciousness and being in an empty apartment wasn't helping. He needed to at least see Hongjoong before he could do anything more. He needed to see for himself that he was alive and breathing, that Seonghwa hadn't failed him.
Seonghwa didn't realize how much he'd been pushing his emotions down until he actually got into the room where Hongjoong was being kept. It stayed surreal for a few minutes. Hongjoong was just a random patient, or this was just another medical drama, and the cannula and the heartrate monitors and the IV were all just props or set dressing. It wasn't really him, lying in a sterile white bed with bandages wrapped around his body and bruising peeking out from under them, propped up with something keeping his spine straight. The doctor told Seonghwa that no permanent damage had been done to his back, but it was a near miss. Too much harder of an impact and he could've been paralyzed, so they were doing what they could to keep him comfortable while still laying him in a way that didn't put too much pressure on his back or lungs. In the moment, Seonghwa had only nodded and thanked him. He didn't think too much about it. He hadn't thought too much about anything in hours. Everything was passive up until he sat down on the chair left for him at Hongjoong's bed side, and on instinct he found Hongjoong's small hand where it lay palm-down against the blanket. Absentmindedly he swiped his thumb across the back of it and it caught against the thin ring on his index finger.
And Seonghwa broke.
All at once tears pushed forward and Seonghwa felt them run hot and heavy down his cheeks, salty on his lips. He let out a shaky breath and squeezed the hand in his grip a little tighter, bringing his forehead down to rest on the guardrail of the hospital bed. His nose was burning and his head felt like a powder keg but all he could think about was how hospital staff wouldn't put that ring on. Hongjoong had been wearing it under his suit.
Even though it probably felt uncomfortable. Even though Seonghwa took off his own rings when he was at work because he was terrified of losing them or having them be ruined or damaged, and it simply wasn't hygenic. Hongjoong wore his. The one Seonghwa gave him two years ago, when they'd moved in together.
"One day," he'd said, "when it's legal, I want to marry you. For now, can we pretend?"
He'd never seen Hongjoong happier. More alive. The contrast between the memory of that giant smile on his face and the slackness of it now in drug-induced sleep was almost sickening. Seonghwa refused to look away from him, though. He could've died today, and one of the last things Seonghwa would've thought of him was that there was a world in which Hongjoong would say that work was more important to him than Seonghwa. Even if Hongjoong's work wasn't exactly what Seonghwa thought it was, even though he was now having to reconcile all the times in the past few years when things seemed slightly out of the norm, Hongjoong wore the ring at all times.
If Seonghwa were more well-hydrated, he could've cried over that forever.
—
The first time Hongjoong woke up, he was still delirious from the painkillers. Seonghwa wasn't even sure he knew he was awake, but he smiled as soon as he saw Seonghwa and tried to say his name, even though no noise came out.
"Hey, Joongie." Seonghwa whispered, tears threatening to spill out of him again. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired." Hongjoong hummed, seemingly trying to roll over and getting annoyed when the stabilization of his spine prevented him from doing so. He huffed, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Can you close the blinds?"
Seonghwa blinked in confusion for a second before it registered to him that Hongjoong probably didn't realize they were in a hospital room. He bit back tears and nodded, getting up and turning off the main lights. He returned to Hongjoong's side and smiled at the way Hongjoong sunk a bit in relief and let the arm fall away from his face. "Better?"
"Mhm." Hongjoong said, scratchy from the stress that had been put on his throat when he'd been struggling to breathe. Seonghwa also wouldn't be surprised if they'd had to put a tube in his chest to deal with the collapsed lung and it was partially from that. God, what a miracle it was that he was speaking so normally now.
Hongjoong fell asleep a few seconds later, muttering something about lazy mornings.
—
The second time Hongjoong woke up, he scared Seonghwa by suddenly gasping and trying to pull himself up. Seonghwa put a hand on his chest to keep him lying back, but Hongjoong kept trying to move away.
"Where am I? What's happening?" Hongjoong asked, nearly shouting. Seonghwa tried to shush him to no avail.
"Hongjoong, it's me, it's Seonghwa, you need to breathe." Seonghwa said, but Hongjoong just shook his head. Well, as much as he could.
"Did I stop him? Is everyone okay?" Hongjoong asked frantically. It took Seonghwa too long to realize Hongjoong was talking about the fight. "There were people in that building, did everyone get out? Did you get everyone out?"
"Everyone got out, Hongjoong-ah. You did it, everything's okay." Seonghwa tried again, eyes darting to the panic button by Hongjoong's head. Was this reason to panic? How long was Seonghwa supposed to wait before telling a doctor?
"No—I—" Hongjoong made a strange dry-heaving sound and Seonghwa's shoulders went rigid. "How do you—know that—that name?"
"Oh." Seonghwa whispered, watching as Hongjoong's unfocused eyes kept darting around the hospital room. "It's Seonghwa. I'm here."
"No. No, he doesn't know." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa had to grab his wrist to keep him from pulling out his IV. "Don't tell him, he'll be in danger. He'll worry. He's at work right now, he can't—I don't want to bother him—"
Hongjoong breathed in sharply and let out a high pitched whine, hand tensing and struggling against Seonghwa's objectively loose grip. Seonghwa pressed the panic button and held onto Hongjoong's shoulders, taking a deep breath. "Lucky Star, listen to me. Everyone is safe, you did good. Let the professionals take care of you."
"Ah." Hongjoong breathed, face twisting in pain, but he finally seemed to settle down. "You're—you're with the paramedics?"
"Yes." Seonghwa said, swallowing back the emotion swelling on his tongue. "How are you feeling?"
"Bad." Hongjoong choked out. "Hurts—I—"
Hongjoong huffed, sinking back against the pillow. Seonghwa nodded to himself. No wonder Hongjoong was freaking out more, the morphine must've been wearing off. Clearly he was under enough influence for it to still be messing with his perception of things, but not enough to relieve the pain. Seonghwa could hear footsteps coming from down the hall. "Okay, Lucky Star, I'm going to hand you off to some other paramedics now. They might call you by your civilian name, but they won't tell anyone else, okay?"
"Mm, okay." Hongjoong mumbled. Within the minute, a nurse was in the room and administering morphine and a sedative before Seonghwa could even finish awkwardly explaining the situation. Hongjoong was out again just as soon.
"Wait." Seonghwa asked, as the nurse turned to leave the room again. He stopped, turning back and waiting for whatever Seonghwa would say. "He didn't…when he woke up, he didn't recognize me. Is that normal?"
"Altered mental state from the painkillers, it's rarer than just plain delirium, but it's nothing to worry about." The nurse said. Seonghwa could recognize the exhaustion beneath his put-on sympathy and let him go quietly, even though he wanted to ask more questions. Even though right now, he really wished he had someone to talk to about all of this. Reasonably he could call Minho, but he didn't want to put any more on him today. He deserved to have the night to relax.
Still, Seonghwa was having trouble wrapping his head around everything. He'd been deftly avoiding thinking about the real implications of Hongjoong being a superhero. And further, Hongjoong being a superhero and not telling him. Hongjoong may have been delirious, but Seonghwa knew the emotions were real. He didn't want Seonghwa to know. He didn't want Seonghwa to worry.
Maybe that was fair, because now that Seonghwa did know, he couldn't stop worrying. Hongjoong could've died today, but he also could've died any other day since "Lucky Star" made his superhero debut, and Seonghwa wouldn't have known anything until it was too late. Every day, Hongjoong was risking his life and he hadn't even told anyone. He hadn't even warned Seonghwa that he could come home one day to the information that his partner and best friend in the entire world was dead and it was national news. Suddenly, Seonghwa could only think of the tens of times that Hongjoong had come home from "work" looking physically pained and connect them to fights he'd heard about from the news or Wooyoung. The doctors told Seonghwa they'd found evidence of poorly-healed scars and broken bones during the exam. All while Hongjoong was coming home every night to a trained healthcare provider. Why didn't he tell him? Why was he so insistent on suffering alone?
Hongjoong woke up again after thirty minutes, squeezing Seonghwa's hand and looking at him with recognition again. "Hwa."
For a second, Seonghwa thought about letting loose some of the turmoil brewing in his gut, but he knew better than that. Hongjoong probably didn't even know where he was or what was really happening. He certainly wouldn't understand Seonghwa lecturing him. So Seonghwa ran a thumb over Hongjoong's ring again and tried to calm himself. "Hi."
"You haven't started cooking yet, right?" Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa quietly shook his head. "We should order in. You work too hard."
Seonghwa bit his lip to keep it from wobbling. "Okay, Joong-ah."
Hongjoong smiled back at him, and Seonghwa hated the way the image of Hongjoong's teeth stained with blood just a few hours ago flickered behind his eyelids when he blinked. "Do you know what bluebells mean?"
Seonghwa tried not to breathe too loudly. "Why do you keep asking me that?"
"I bought you some." Hongjoong said. "But I didn't know if you'd know what they mean."
"Oh." Seonghwa said. Distantly, he remembered seeing a vase of flowers on the kitchen counter when he'd went home earlier, but he hadn't registered it as anything new. Seonghwa tried to keep flowers around the apartment whenever he could. They were both busy, but that didn't mean he wanted their living space to reflect it. If Seonghwa could help it, someone visiting their apartment would believe they were always there, given how nice it was. He couldn't believe he didn't realize he didn't pick the new flowers in the vase. "What do they mean, Hongjoong-ah?"
"Everlasting love." Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa felt like someone was digging their hands into his chest to pull his heart free. The audacity of this man, to be so sweet while Seonghwa was trying to be upset with him.
"That's beautiful, Joongie." Seonghwa said gently. "Thank you."
Hongjoong hummed in contentment, closing his eyes and rolling his head as much as he could towards Seonghwa. "Don't cook."
"I won't."
"I mean it."
"I said I won't." Seonghwa said, laughing a little under his breath. "But, I do have something to talk to you about when you wake up."
"I'm not asleep." Hongjoong said, stubborn even though his eyes were already shut. "Tell me now."
Seonghwa kept his mouth shut, squeezing Hongjoong's hand gently. He dropped off after a few more minutes, and Seonghwa let out a sigh.
—
"Ah, fuck."
Seonghwa woke up slowly, blinking up at the white tiled ceiling. Still, Hongjoong's words stood out to him. They sounded different than they had, not as slurred, but more gravelly. Seonghwa sat up quickly, finding Hongjoong's hand. "Hongjoong-ah?"
"Seonghwa?" Hongjoong asked, squinting at him. "Am I in the hospital?"
"Yeah." Seonghwa said, debating what to say. How much to tell Hongjoong, and how much he should reveal he knew. "There was a fight."
"A fight?" Hongjoong asked, brow furrowing further. After a second or two, though, understanding seemed to wash over him and his eyes opened. He looked over Seonghwa's face a bit frantically and winced. "Do you…you know?"
"I was called to the scene." Seonghwa said and Hongjoong cursed under his breath. "Hongjoong."
"This is not how I wanted you to find out about this." Hongjoong tried, and somehow it only served to make Seonghwa feel more slighted.
"Then how did you want me to find out? Were you ever planning on telling me?" Seonghwa asked, and the guilty way Hongjoong's eyes drifted away from Seonghwa's face was enough to tell him that the answer probably wasn't a flat-out "yes." Seonghwa sighed. "How long?"
"Ah…since…the night after Yunho's housewarming?" Hongjoong said, quietly. Seonghwa had to take a breath not to lash out. A year and a half. Hongjoong had been hiding this from him for almost eighteen months.
"Why didn't you tell me anything?" Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong looked away again. Seonghwa pushed down the urge to throttle him. "Hongjoong, do you understand how unbelievably seflish you've been?"
Hongjoong's eyes widened. "Selfish?"
"What else would you call it? You kept this from me for your own peace of mind, because you thought it was what was best for me. You didn't even think of what not knowing would do to me." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong opened his mouth to argue back, but Seonghwa didn't let him. "Did you even consider what it would have done to me if you died because of this? What I would have done if you didn't come home, and I didn't even know what happened because your stupid secret identity meant no one would tell me you were here or, god forbid, they buried you under that dumb superhero name and I couldn't even visit your grave because I wouldn't know it was yours."
"It isn't dumb." Hongjoong mumbled.
"Are you kidding me? That's what you're focused on?" Seonghwa asked, running an exasperated hand through his hair. "Hongjoong, I was scared you were falling out of love with me."
"What?" Hongjoong asked, voice breaking in half. "Why would you think that?"
"You were always running out on me for work. Things that I thought you could've been doing at home, but preferred to do at some studio away from me." Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong's face twisted in guilt. "I tried to understand. I wanted to understand. Bosses can be demanding, work can be demanding, but it still hurt to think you'd choose it over me. If I had known you were actually out beating up supervillains or whatever…"
"I'm sorry." Hongjoong said, Seonghwa could see tears collecting in his eyes that he tried desperately to blink away. "I didn't—"
"Want to bother me?" Seonghwa said, remembering what Hongjoong had said in his delirium. He shook his head and tried to ignore the sharp stinging in his nose. "I just—I can't believe you think so little of me, that I wouldn't want to help you. That I wouldn't want to be your number one supporter. That you could ever bother me by being hurt."
"That's…" Hongjoong tried, voice dying out. He blinked harder, but a tear still slipped free. "Seonghwa, I didn't think of it like that. I just thought—I thought it would only hurt you to know. Especially because I can't stop. I…I have these powers, I can't change that, and I need to do good with them. I need to."
"I know." Seonghwa whispered, even though a part of him wanted to scream. But this was different than Hongjoong choosing work over him. If Seonghwa had powers like that, he didn't think he'd be able to sit idly either, and Hongjoong had always had a strong desire to do good. "But I would've wanted to be told anyway."
"I didn't want to worry you." Hongjoong admitted quietly.
"Hongjoong-ah, I'm always going to worry about you. But it's easier when I know what to be worried about instead of thinking of the countless things that could be." Seonghwa said, taking Hongjoong's hand again. Hongjoong nodded, and Seonghwa watched as the dam seemed to break and Hongjoong's face crumpled in a sob. Seonghwa stood up and leaned over the bed, hugging Hongjoong as much as he could at the awkward angle, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Hongjoong's arms wrapped around his waist, squeezing him tight even though it probably hurt a little bit.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." Hongjoong whispered after a few moments, his voice still thick with tears.
Seonghwa shushed him gently. "I know. I forgive you. But you can’t hide things like this from me anymore. I at least need to know where you’re going, or if I should be ready with our med kit."
"I can do that." Hongjoong promised, face turning a little guilty. "And, ah, speaking of the med kit, you might need to restock it, actually."
Seonghwa sighed, but he had sort of expected that. Hongjoong had to have been patching himself up somehow. "Alright, but unless you're actively dying and I can't get to you, you better not touch it again."
Hongjoong nodded gravely, eyes drifting away for a second. It was the tiniest tell, but it struck Hongjoong with the realization that as normal as he seemed, Hongjoong was still under the influence of a lot of painkillers. He just hoped he wouldn't have to repeat too much of this conversation again. Hongjoong looked back up at him, smiling. "I love you."
"I love you too." Seonghwa said, pressing another kiss to his head. He brushed some hair out of Hongjoong’s face, only a little perturbed by how some of it still had pieces stuck together with blood. He’d have to make sure Hongjoong took a long shower once they got home. "Now rest, you really got thrown around."
"You're telling me." Hongjoong laughed as Seonghwa sat back down. "I'm not tired, though."
"Okay." Seonghwa said, searching for something to say. He knew there was more for them to talk about. The fact that Hongjoong was apparently avoiding being caught by paramedics because he knew there was a chance Seonghwa could end up assigned to him, the fact that he'd been hiding injuries, what they were going to do about the probably insane amount of questions Wooyoung had lined up for Seonghwa after that little display. But right now didn't feel like the time. Hongjoong needed to rest, and Seonghwa had already stressed him out enough given his state. A part of him wanted to find a distraction, something to talk about that would be easy for both of them, but a bigger part of him knew that the only way he'd ever fully come to terms with this was to face it head on. At least in some small way. "Who's the craziest supervillain you've fought?"
Hongjoong blinked at him in surprise before a smile spread across his face. And just like that, Seonghwa found another thing he'd willingly let Hongjoong talk his ear off about.