Archive of Our Own

"You're really, really lucky I love you. You know that?" Mingi said as he forced himself to get out of the passenger seat and face down the mouth of the hiking trail Yunho had dragged him out to. On a Saturday of all days. Mingi had been so excited to lay in bed today, too. His job wasn't all that physically demanding, but he was still on his feet a lot, and a day to not have to use them at all sounded heavenly.

He would think Yunho would relish in his off-time too, given his job was probably ten times as laborious as Mingi's. Then again, he could also imagine that Yunho would get pretty heavy cabin fever being locked inside of his company's various workrooms for so many days on end, so maybe it made sense. Either way, here they were. Mingi forced out of the house simply because no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't say no to Yunho when he got excited about something. And because none of their partners who might actually enjoy a hike were available, and Yunho didn't want to wait, so Mingi it was.

"I know." Yunho said, pressing a kiss to Mingi's cheek. "Thank you, princess."

Mingi tried to ignore the heat rushing to his cheeks, stepping forward and toward the trail with a huff. "Whatever."

Mingi kept his eyes forward but couldn't help but crack a smile when he heard Yunho laugh at him. As much as he had a love-hate relationship with the fact, he didn't think he'd ever not be flustered by Yunho. He was annoyingly good at getting him blushing. Or maybe Mingi was just annoyingly easy to fluster. He hadn't decided yet.

"This hike isn't, like, crazy long is it?" Mingi asked, looking back over his shoulder to see they were already far enough that the car had disappeared from view in the treeline. He had to admit, it was kind of incredible seeing how the nature around them swallowed everything else up. And Yunho especially looked beautiful with the way the sunlight streaming through the leaves cast across his hair and face.

"It's forty-five minutes to the peak, so about an hour and a half both ways?" Yunho said, tapping around on his phone for a few seconds until humming to himself and pocketing it. "And there goes cell service."

Mingi nodded, but almost instantly his hand flew to his own back pocket and he yanked his phone out. It woke and his eyes immediately darted to the flattened bars and little "no service" message in tiny font at the top of the screen. He could feel his stomach pull with the immediate unwanted anxiety that crept up on him. All the completely unhelpful thoughts about all that could go wrong while they were out. Someone could get hurt, and they'd have no idea until they got back to the car. Hongjoong could get into a crash while bringing Seonghwa home from work, or Jongho could get injured by the heavy machinery he worked with, or San's bus could miss his stop and leave him alone in the middle of nowhere and he would have no way of knowing because they'd have no way to reach him.

Mingi's breath came out a little shaky when he felt Yunho's hand slide into his, squeezing it. Mingi looked over at him and Yunho gave him a tiny smile and one of those all-knowing looks of his. "Have I told you about the set I've been working on yet? The one for that existentialist play one of the community theatres is doing?"

"No, I don't think you have." Mingi said, letting his phone screen fade to black at his side. "You said something about the director wanting it to be only squares, though."

"Yeah. I don't think I realized how many rectangles and circles are usually in things until having to design an entire set without them. The team did a really great job, though. I'm excited for you to see it." Yunho said, smiling and looking ahead. Mingi knew the point of a hike was probably to be admiring the nature around them, but he couldn't drag his eyes away from the smile on Yunho's face. Or how his free hand waved around exaggeratedly as he narrated the story of the trouble he was having with a new intern and some square-only staircase they were having to construct again and again to get it to look right. It didn't take long before Mingi forgot all about where they were or why he was anxious in the first place, slipping his phone into his back pocket and letting it disappear.

Things carried on like that for a while. Yunho and Mingi took turns tellings stories to each other, some from their own work-lives and a couple 'plot-summaries' of the dramas Mingi had been watching with Seonghwa. Mingi couldn't help but keep thinking about how Yunho reacted to both the real stories and the fake stories with the same amount of enthusiasm, and how much he loved that. Like either way the stories mattered, because they mattered to Mingi and because Mingi was the one telling them. He wasn't sure he'd ever stop finding things about Yunho to be in love with.

"Fork in the road." Yunho said, cutting into a tiny beat of silence between stories. Mingi looked ahead to see what Yunho had and laughed.

"Barely." He said, looking at the way the path "split" into one which was very obviously well-worn and maintained and another that was much more overgrown. There wasn't even signage near it, like Mingi had seen for the other fork they'd found earlier in the hike which dictated which ways lead to what destinations. Probably because whoever maintained this trail thought it was obvious enough which way was the right way here.

"Probably best to go the road-more-traveled." Yunho said, in a tone that totally gave him away.

"You want to go down that one, don't you?" Mingi asked, unable to battle off a laugh at Yunho's exaggerated 'who, me?' expression.

He gave it up after a second, just as they got to the fork in the road. "Just for a few minutes and then we'll turn back?"

"Couldn't hurt." Mingi said, already excited at the prospect. He loved exploring little spaces like this, where you weren't really supposed to go but weren't exactly off-limits. And he knew Yunho knew it, so he couldn't help but bounce a little in his steps and swing their hands where they interlocked together as they made their way towards the overgrown path.

The foliage was thick enough that after only a few minutes Mingi had to let go of Yunho's hand to focus on maintaining his own balance while he stepped over root after root and between fallen trees. He could hardly see the path that used to be here under all the dead leaves and overgrown vines snaking across it, so while he kept an eye on his feet, he was focusing more on just generally not tripping while he looked around the tiny section of wood.

"I don't think I've done something like this since I was a kid." Yunho said from where he was a few steps behind Mingi. Mingi paused, turning over his shoulder to look at him and surprised to see he'd gotten quite a bit ahead. Yunho didn't seem to mind it though, only smiling at him before turning his eyes back towards navigating the uneven ground.

"Me neither." Mingi said, nearly catching his foot on an exposed root but managing to untangle it quickly. "I think the closest might be when Hongjoong-hyung and I got lost in Europe. Do you remember that?"

"'Do I remember that.'" Yunho said incredulously. "Seonghwa was worried out of his mind when we couldn't find you two. How did you even end up there?"

"Ask hyung, he was navigating." Mingi said, grinning when Yunho laughed. "He said he'd found a shortcut, and I just didn't question it."

"Why wouldn't you question that?" Yunho asked, deftly avoiding another fallen branch.

"Hyung's usually good at navigating. I didn't think we'd go in the wrong direction for that long." Mingi shrugged. The memory was fun now that he could look back on it. Ignoring the obvious panic the both of them had sparked amongst their boyfriends, it was kind of nice to be lost with Hongjoong. Even when he didn't know where he was going, he was pretty good at making the most fun out of seeing where life took them. And somehow, really good at making Mingi not so worried about being lost. "It was weirdly nice."

"As long as you had fun." Yunho said, a little teasing, but Mingi knew he probably meant it.

"How about you?" Mingi asked, stepping over a large rock and nearly slipping on the unstable ground behind it. He reached out and grabbed a branch to steady himself, helping himself across the uneven patch. "Are you having fun?"

"Yeah, I am." Yunho said, voice a little quieter. "It's nice out."

"Better be. I'm supposed to be in bed." Mingi teased, and he heard Yunho huff a laugh somewhere behind him.

"Alright, I get it." Yunho said. "I'll make it up to you."

"Oh yeah?" Mingi asked, turning around to look at Yunho. He kept an arm out to use the branches and brambles to guide him as he walked backwards, slower with his steps. "How?"

"I'll make you dinner when we get home." Yunho promised. "And we could curl up in your bed and watch a movie. Your pick."

"Tempting." Mingi said, already sorting through a list of movies in his head. "What else?"

"I could draw you a bath, wash all the nature off for good." Yunho teased. "All those bugs in your hair."

"Yah, don't joke about that!" Mingi said, shaking his head instinctually to rid them, even though he knew Yunho was only messing with him. "Are you trying to make me regret saying yes to this?"

"So you don't regret it already?" Yunho asked, smiling like he'd won some argument they weren't having.

"Well, I didn't say that." Mingi said, nearly missing a branch as he kept walking backwards. "But, no, I guess I don't regret it."

"Good." Yunho said. "See, sometimes it's fun to leave the house."

"Yeah, yeah." Mingi pouted, feeling the ground beneath him get a tiny bit flatter. "I—"

Mingi took one step back, and heard a metallic springing sound followed by a sickening crunch that felt like it echoed inside his brain. For a second his mind went blank, thoughts completely silent for the first time in maybe his entire life, and then the pain caught up to him.

Searing pain carved into his left ankle, his vision blurring and swinging wildly. All he could feel was his leg, cold and somehow burning, his flesh and bone pulling against each other when he twitched. The rest of the world disappeared, nothing making its way to his brain but the sheer agony and a sudden swell of nausea.

When his vision came back he could barely make out a pile of vomit in front of him and a sea of green and brown that slowly turned into a forest. A sob burned its way out of his throat, scratching against the acid-torn inside.

"Mingi—Mingi, oh my god—"

It took an agonizingly long amount of time for his brain to realize that the voice hovering near him wasn't its own invention, and he tilted his head just enough for Yunho's panic-stricken face to enter his vision. His arm reached up to grab at Yunho's shoulder, trying to offer comfort for whatever was scaring him so badly, when the tiny movement pulled his leg just barely and the wave of pain reminded him that ah, it was him.

"Mingi, don't move." Yunho said, hand finding Mingi's cheek and his thumb pressing into the spot beneath his eye. Mingi almost wished Yunho would move just an inch higher and dig his thumbnail in, if only to pull the pain to somewhere else in his body, if only to take his mind away from his leg for a few blissful seconds. "Fuck—I'm so sorry, I don't…"

Yunho trailed off, clearly lost for words. Mingi watched him glance down towards his leg and have to press a hand over his mouth and look away completely. Mingi whined, but Yunho didn't seem to register why, because he didn't look back at Mingi even while his thumb kept gently brushing at his cheek. Mingi coughed, trying to clear his throat. It felt too torn up to just be burned from stomach acid and he realized belatedly he must've been screaming. "Yu—"

"You're okay." Yunho whispered, digging his thumb in just a little bit, probably unconsciously. It wasn't nearly enough for Mingi's brain to acknowledge for more than a second. "You're—you'll be okay."

Mingi didn't know that that was true, given how much pain he was in, but Yunho didn't lie. So maybe he was okay. Maybe he would be. "Wha happen'd?"

"You…" Yunho said, taking a breath and slowly looking back at Mingi, their eyes meeting again. Yunho shifted the hand on Mingi's face up to brush his hair away from his face. "You stepped on a bear trap, Mingki."

"Oh." Mingi hummed, still not fully processing it.

"It—it must've been set a long time ago. I don't know. I don't know why it would be here." Yunho said, breath hitching every few words as he rushed them out. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." Mingi mumbled.

"I don't know how to get it open." Yunho admitted. Mingi realized his face was wet with tears, glistening a little in the small amount of sunlight that filtered through the dense forest.

"That's…okay." Mingi said, his breath coming a little shorter now. He didn't know why. His brain was at war with itself, too much of it devoted to the pain that the panic bubbling within it couldn't properly process. Even still, he could feel his ribcage like it was closing in on itself, squeezing his lungs like a bear trap of their own.

"It's not." Yunho whispered, sounding nearly as out of breath as Mingi felt. Mingi dizzily remembered some breathing exercises his therapist taught him and blindly grabbed at Yunho's face, catching his ear and a bit of hair. "Please don't move, you're gonna hurt yourself."

Mingi tried to open his mouth and remember the way the breathing exercises went so he could tell Yunho, but he couldn't get any words out past his own panting. So instead he stared up into Yunho's eyes and thought the rhythm at him, like they were psychically linked. Maybe they were, maybe spending enough time together made that happen. In for six, hold for six, out for twelve. In for six, hold for six, out for twelve.

He was frustrated when not only did his own breathing not slow down, but Yunho didn't even seem to understand what he was doing. He opened his mouth to try and explain again and choked, air getting caught at the back of his throat. His body arched instinctively in response and he screamed as the movement jostled his leg in the metal teeth. He felt Yunho's hands press down on his shoulders, pushing him into the forest floor to keep him from moving. The sticks and stones dug into his back, making him groan and grab for Yunho's arms in a limp attempt to push him off.

"…look at me? Please?" Yunho's voice filtered in through the static of pain and Mingi reluctantly opened his eyes, not even really remembering having closed them in the first place. "There you are. I'm sorry for holding you down but you need to stop moving, okay? You're only hurting your leg more."

"Breathing." Mingi said, and Yunho frowned at him.

"I know, it's because you're panicking." Yunho said, and Mingi shook his head. He didn't feel like he was panicking, it felt like he was dying, and maybe losing his grip on reality slowly, and maybe like it'd be better to just tear his leg off than suffer this agony any longer, but he wasn't panicking.

"No. You." Mingi said, almost accusatory in the way he spat it between heaves of air.

"Oh. You're worried I'm panicking?" Yunho asked and Mingi hummed affirmatively. Yunho bit his lip. "Okay. You're right, I am, but we're focusing on you right now, okay? You're the one who's hurt."

"Don't." Mingi said, making a loud noise to cut Yunho off when he opened his mouth again. "Don't focus."

"Mingi, you can't see your leg." Yunho said, more serious than Mingi had seen him in…maybe ever. "It's bad. I don't want to freak you out, but it's really, really bad. We're going to focus on you."

"No." Mingi protested again, trying and failing to find the right words and growing increasingly more frustrated by how Yunho wasn't understanding him. He knew it was bad. He could feel every single degree of how bad it was, and he didn't want to think about it any more than he was already being forced to. He didn't want the focus on him. He wanted to focus on anything else, anyone else. He couldn't bear thinking about himself. About how mangled his leg probably was, about how the bone had definitely broken and it definitely wasn't a clean break, about how he could feel blood traveling down his leg where it was stuck at an angle even while the rest of his body was flat against the forest floor covered in all kinds of bugs and dirt and dead things. He couldn't think about what might happen if this moment ever ended and anyone ever came to help them, about them possibly needing to cut his leg off because there was just too much damage. About never being able to walk the same again. About how stupid he'd been to not watch his step in an area of the woods he knew wasn't being maintained.

And then what if no one came? What if no one helped him? What if he died here? What if he needed to rip his leg off himself or chew through it like an animal, like the kind of thing that was supposed to be trapped in this and oh god, why would someone ever do this to an animal?

"Mingi! Mingi, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You need to calm down, okay, you need to breathe." Yunho's frantic voice sounded again, putting even more pressure against Mingi's shoulders to keep him steady. Mingi wanted to scream at him but he couldn't get the breath support to. Everything felt like it was caving in around him. Like the trees were going to start crashing down and pin him even further into the ground, drive him under it until he had a grave pre-dug. Maybe it'd bury Yunho too, leave them underground together. Mingi wouldn't want that. He didn't want Yunho to die. "Fuck, Mingi, please breathe!"

Mingi heard a sob and for a second he thought it was him, before he realized he wasn't getting nearly enough air to do that and his mind suddenly tunneled in on what he was seeing. On Yunho hovering above him, face covered in tears and pressing his mouth against his shoulder to muffle his sobbing while still keeping Mingi pinned to the ground.

"I—" He tried, swallowing air and nearly choking on it but managing to wrestle it down into his lungs. He tilted his head back, unable to prop his head up like he usually would to help with breathing but figuring this had to be somewhere in that realm, and tried to slowly pull in breaths.

"Yes—yes, okay! Okay, that's good." Yunho said, coughing back another sob. Mingi couldn't really see his face any more, but he could almost picture the way Yunho was trying very obviously to school it into his usual reassurance. Trying to replicate some sense of normalcy. "You're doing so good. Just keep breathing like that, princess."

The nickname was probably meant to be comforting, but all it served to do was knock something new loose inside of Mingi's head. The idea that even now, even covered in dirt and vomit and blood he was still anywhere near a princess nearly bowling him over. How that could even be something that crossed Yunho's mind didn't make any sense to him. But he guessed nothing was really making sense to him right now. He just wanted to go home.

Mingi kept breathing through the pain as much as he was able, tense even as Yunho finally lifted one hand from Mingi's shoulder to gently rub circles at his temple. He finally managed to get his breath back to where it was before he actually let himself think about what was happening. He lifted his head a little bit again and met Yunho's eyes, following his palm when it moved away just slightly. "I'm okay."

Yunho hesitated, eyes darting away from Mingi's and up towards the sky. "Mhm."

"You said." Mingi reminded, and Yunho only kept staring into the distance. "You said…I'm okay."

"I know." Yunho said, finally looking back at him. Mingi didn't know if he'd seen Yunho cry so much in their entire life together. "I'm sorry I'm so bad at this."

"At what?" Mingi asked.

"At keeping it together for you." Yunho said, and Mingi would've rolled his eyes if he didn't think he might accidentally pull at his leg by even moving that much. "Really, Mingi-yah."

"Then…be better at it." Mingi said, swallowing back another wave of nausea as his body shivered. It wasn't even cold out today. He really hoped that wasn't a sign of something.

"Okay." Yunho said, though he didn't make any move to open his mouth again or do anything different. "I should get you help."

Mingi nodded, trying to force back the panic that threatened to crawl back up his lungs as all the thoughts he had about what would have to happen after he was rescued flooded back into his mind. He blinked his eyes hard as if that would dispell the thoughts, but all he could see behind his eyelids was paramedics and hospital lights and clipboards and the words "you'll never walk again."

"I…I'd have to leave, to do that." Yunho said, taking a deep breath. "There's no service up here. I tried, when you first…but it didn't work."

"Oh." Mingi said. He'd forgotten that. "How long?"

"I don't know. I think we were maybe a half hour into the hike? Longer, maybe, because of the detour." Yunho admitted. Mingi could feel his chest tighten and the pain in his leg burn even brighter at the idea of having to spend an hour or longer alone, knowing Yunho would have to get to somewhere with service and back, not counting the call itself. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle that. Even with Yunho hovering over him he felt achingly detatched from reality, he didn't know what he'd do without that tether. Without anyone to look after him, to help if something happened, to protect him.

"You can't." Mingi said quickly. "Please, you can't. Yunho please."

Yunho shushed him gently. "Mingi-yah…"

"Don't leave." Mingi begged, hundreds of worst case scenarios flitting through his head. "What if you don't—don't come back—?"

Yunho looked stricken. "I will—"

"—In time. What if I'm…" Mingi closed his eyes, tilting his head back again. It didn't work. His breathing was still coming too fast. "…I'm already dead?"

"You're not going to die." Yunho said, convicted. "Mingi do not talk like that. You won't die."

"You don't know that!" Mingi cried, feeling Yunho's hands land on either side of his face.

"I know that right now, the best thing I can do for you is to go get help before anything worse happens." Yunho said, and Mingi couldn't possibly imagine what the hell worse could be in this instance. "I'll come right back, and you'll still be alive, and I'll sit with you until help gets here. I promise."

Mingi turned it over in his head. On one hand, there was so much that could go wrong with Yunho gone. So much he couldn't even comprehend all of it. But on the other, Yunho was right that the longer they sat here the worse chance of recovery Mingi would have. If he could recover at all. But then, the only way to know was to have a professional help. He hesitantly opened his eyes, head still tilted back. "You promise?"

"I do." Yunho said, leaning down to gently kiss Mingi's no doubt sweat-covered forehead before slowly getting up. Mingi found his absence crushing almost instantly, but Yunho seemed just as scared to leave, which at least made him feel not so alone. "Don't move while I'm gone, okay? And keep breathing. I'll be right back."

Mingi watched out of his periphery as Yunho went, hearing his footsteps crunch along the forest floor and slowly start to get faster and faster the farther he got until they disappeared. He stared at the stretch of forest, the rest of the path they could've walked along if this hadn't happened. If he were more lucid, he'd still think it was beautiful.

Without Yunho around there was nothing immediate to distract Mingi from the pain still sizzling around his leg like a million tiny knives digging into and pulling up on his skin. So he tried to find some, tried to watch the canopy for the movement of birds and tried to listen to the chirping and buzzing of bugs even though usually he'd find exactly zero comfort in the sound. He pictured pulling at his brain like he could wedge it up and out of his skull, disconnect it from his person and his nerves so it was floating as a seperate entity and he couldn't feel anything. It didn't really work, but it gave him something to do. Something to focus on to make the time pass by.

He started counting the leaves on one of the trees above him as if that was a possible task, and made it all the way to what was probably an arbitrary four-hundred-fifteen before he was distracted by movement in a bush nearby to him. He tensed, immediately regretting it when it made his leg tense in turn and pull against the wound even more. But he bit down on his lip to keep from screaming, not sure if he exactly wanted whatever was in the bushes to hear him. Maybe it would've scared it away, but he didn't care. It felt better to keep quiet, and a part of him found the pain in his lip comforting in how it distracted from his leg, even as he bit through it hard enough to taste blood pour from it into his mouth.

The bushes rustled again and Mingi watched as from it emerged not something scary but a tiny chipmunk, skittering along the ground and sniffing at random leaves. He watched it slowly move around before it finally seemed to notice him and started inching closer and closer. For a second all Mingi could think about was the possibility of rabies and what being attacked by a wild chipmunk might be like, but all it did was sit in front of him and sniff like it had been the whole time. After a few moments of the strangest staring contest Mingi had ever had, blood still traveling a path from his lip down his cheek, the chipmunk startled at some noise out in the woods and scampered off.

Mingi opened his mouth, accidentally swallowing some of the blood in it as he tried to quietly call for the chipmunk to come back. He didn't even realize why he felt the need to until the thought of Hongjoong flashed across his mind. Specifically, Hongjoong and him, lost in Europe and the near panic attack Mingi had had when he realized they were lost and the way Hongjoong stared at him helplessly for a few seconds before awkwardly hugging him and making some stupid joke that Mingi couldn't remember now, but had made him so shocked he laughed and the panic went away.

That trip, that they'd taken as a way of celebrating Jongho's graduation and all of them finally being out of university, was the first time Mingi realized he had feelings for more than Yunho. Being lost with Hongjoong was what made him realize that he saw the group of boys he'd spent his latter university years with as much more than a friend group. That if Hongjoong had kissed him by the lake in the random park they ended up in after hours of wandering aimlessly around, he wouldn't have minded it.

He wondered what they were doing now. If it had been long enough that they were all off work, waiting for Yunho and Mingi to come home from their date. If it had been long enough for them to worry yet, or if none of them had even thought twice. He almost hoped they hadn't noticed, if only to spare them from worrying even one more second. He hoped they were enjoying their day, that it hadn't been too stressful. That his stupidity wouldn't be one more bad thing on a list for them.

Though, there was also nothing he wouldn't give to have one of them with him right now to hold his hand and talk to him. In hindsight he wished Yunho would have waited until at least one other person was able to come with them, so that he wouldn't have to be alone now. He just wanted someone around. Something but nature and the thoughts bouncing around his head to listen to.

A shiver wracked his body and he instinctively brought his arm to his mouth to bite into so he wouldn't bite his tongue off at the sudden violent pain of his leg tearing open further, the metal teeth of the bear trap scraping at his muscle and bone. He turned his head to one side, trying to spit out the blood pooling in his mouth and dripping down the back of his throat. He could feel nausea pulling at him once more and it took everything in his power not to throw up again, knowing that without Yunho there to stabilize him like he probably did earlier he'd only end up in more pain.

He didn't know how much blood a person could lose before they died, but he was scared about how close he was probably cutting it. Especially after stupidly opening up two new wounds. Was there a chance he'd bleed out before Yunho could make it back, after all? What would that do to him, to find Mingi's body? What would he even tell the others?

Mingi would be lying if he said it was his first time thinking about what would happen in the event of his death. It was an unfortunately common thing his anxiety liked to bring up, but facing it head on like this was so much worse than he could imagine. Because now it could actually happen. He could actually die in the woods, Yunho could actually find his body. Unwanted images poured into his head, and he nearly went to smack it against the ground in an attempt to physically shake them out, but he knew he'd already played with death enough for one day. And he was starting to get really dizzy, even lying down, and he didn't want to accidentally knock himself unconscious even if it would mean escaping the pain. He couldn't do that to Yunho.

A ray of sunlight broke through the canopy and directly into his eyes. He tried to lift his arm again to block it, and found he couldn't lift it more than an inch off the ground before it started trembling so wildly he dropped it out of fear of the shaking spreading to his legs. Was that even how it worked? Mingi closed his eyes instead, the sunlight painting the insides of his eyelids bright pink, and he could see every vein. If he tried, he could pretend he was lying in a field. Maybe with one of his boyfriends beside him, maybe all of them. He could imagine Wooyoung weaving flowers through his hair and Seonghwa reaching over every few seconds to brush a hand against his arm to see if he was still awake. He could imagine overhearing Hongjoong try to talk about a work project and Yunho gently shut him down and direct the conversation elsewhere, all while San and Jongho bantered. He could imagine opening his eyes just a crack to see Yeosang lying beside him, eyes lazily tracking the movement of the clouds across the clear blue sky.

And for a moment, the pain slipped away, falling to the back of his mind. All he could feel was cool breeze against his skin and a floaty contentment, like in the seconds before falling asleep.

And then all of a sudden, he was being tugged right back into reality.

"—come on, Mingi. Come on." Yunho's voice filtered through, exploding across his brain with another wave of pain. "Help is on the way, you just need to wake up."

Mingi let out a keening sound and he could hear Yunho let out a physical sigh of relief, feeling the hand that had been resting against his neck move to hold it more securely. He blinked his eyes open and stared at the woods, blinking slow enough it took his eyes a second to unblur, and by then they were already closing again. There was a tiny movement of the leaves, and it was probably just the wind, but Mingi wondered if it might be Hongjoong again.

"What about him, Mingki?" Yunho asked, and Mingi wasn't sure why he'd asked if Mingi had only thought that, but maybe that psychic connection of theirs was finally working. It sure took its sweet time. Mingi felt his mouth open and move, words falling off his tongue that still tasted a lot like metal, but he didn't know what he said until Yunho spoke again. "He…visited you?"

Mingi hummed. He guessed that did happen. Maybe Hongjoong was channeling himself through that chipmunk. It only made sense, really.

"Okay." Yunho said, sounding a little further away, though Mingi couldn't tell if he'd actually moved or if his hearing was just failing him. It didn't feel like the hand on his neck had moved at all. "That's very nice of him."

Mingi heard birds chirping at each other overhead, singing. He could still only see the foliage in front of him. "Yuyu."

"Yes?" Yunho asked.

"Where did you go?" Mingi asked, vision blurring. He heard Yunho say something, but not what it was. Was Yunho even here? Maybe he was all in Mingi's head. Like the field. Why was Mingi in the woods again? He'd much rather be in the field with the others. He wondered why they'd leave him here. "It's cold today. Why didn't you bring me a coat?"

Yunho said something else, but Mingi didn't hear most of it. "…not saying words, Mingi. Tell me…trying to say…"

"The bath will be warm at least, right?" Mingi asked, remembering something Yunho had promised him earlier. He went to shake his head, to get the bugs out of his hair but he was quickly stopped by someone's hands grabbing either side of his head and forcing it still. He didn't know why they'd do that.

Somewhere in the distance, he could hear shouting. There was a loud voice next to him a second later, making him wince and try to turn his head away, but the hands were still holding him still. The next few minutes passed him by sluggishly. He could hear voices he didn't recognize talking over him, could feel hands on him and pulling on his arm. And then suddenly something felt like it was ripped out of his leg and he screamed, trying to thrash to get away from whoever was doing this to him and only succeeding in getting the hands to hold him against the ground more stubbornly as someone wrapped something tight around his leg. Then the hands closed around all parts of his body and started lifting him. He tried to get away from them, but they only held on harder.

"…going to have to…"

"…that really necessary? He's…"

"…not giving us a choice…"

"He's hurt! Could you at least…"

That last voice he recognized, and it nearly made Mingi's heart jump out of his chest. Yunho was here too. Were they hurting him? Holding him down like they were Mingi? Where was he? Where was everyone?

"Yunho!" He screamed, the hands not letting up. He couldn't see clearly, he didn't know what was going on, the sky was a blur of green above him and he couldn't remember it being that color.

"Hey. Hey, I'm here." Yunho's voice said, and Mingi tried to draw his eyes away from the green sky enough to see him. He was blurry, but Mingi could recognize him even still. Though, he couldn't remember Yunho owning a shirt with splotches of red on it. "I'm here, Mingi. You're okay, alright? These are the paramedics, I called them, okay? You were hurt and they're trying to help you."

Mingi nodded even though he couldn't really comprehend what that meant. But Yunho said it was okay, and they were trying to help, so he let himself drop a bit of the fight he was still clinging on to. After a second the blur of Yunho disappeared from his view and he felt something soft be placed on top of him, tucked around every part of his body except his left leg, which still felt like someone was burning it from the inside out.

He could hear people shouting over him, and the sky started moving weirdly, but it didn't last long before Mingi let his eyes drift shut again.

—

When Mingi woke up, his eyelids felt too heavy to lift, and he could see the red of his eyelids and guessed the room was probably bright enough he didn't really want to open them anyway. He could hear people quietly talking to each other and feel someone's hand in his, and another in his hair, gently carding through it.

"…did good, Yuyu." Someone said softly. "He's okay."

"He could have died, hyung." A voice replied. Mingi remembered hearing it recently, and after a few seconds the dots connected in his head. Yunho sounded worn out, his voice hoarse and still somehow wet with tears. "It would've been my fault."

"For the last time, Yunho, none of this is your fault." A voice that Mingi distantly recognized as Wooyoung's came through, also sounding a bit worse for wear. "And he's not dead, so quit saying that."

"What Wooyoung is trying to say is that you did the best you could." The first voice said. Mingi recognized the comforting lilt as Seonghwa's. "None of us would've fared any better in your situation."

"You would have." Yunho mumbled, and Mingi heard Seonghwa sigh.

"Aish, Yunho, don't do this." Hongjoong said. Mingi could hear the creaking of a chair. "You're both alive, and Mingi will recover. That's all any of us can ask for. I know you think you could've done something differently, but you're only going to hurt yourself if you keep thinking about all the ways things could've gone wrong."

"I just…" Yunho's voice broke off with a sob, and Mingi heard the shifting of clothes and footsteps. Whoever was petting his hair stopped, hand retreating, probably to go comfort Yunho. Good, Mingi thought. He'd comfort Yunho too, if he could just find the strength to open his eyes. Yunho kept talking, voice breaking every few seconds. It reminded Mingi of what he sounded like in the woods. He decided pretty quickly he never wanted to hear this voice come out of Yunho ever again if he could help it. "I thought—I thought he—When I came back from calling 119 he was unconscious and I thought—"

"Shh. I know, baby." Seonghwa soothed. "I know. Take a deep breath for me, Yunho-ah."

Yunho kept sobbing, muffled now probably by either Seonghwa or one of their other partner's shirts, but Mingi couldn't help but notice he still wasn't breathing quite right. He knew the unstable rhythm all too well. He tried to swallow down the dryness in his throat as he opened his mouth, and his tongue felt a little too big, but he tried to talk past it.

"In for six, hold for six, out for twelve." He reminded, words slurring together a bit, but by the way everyone went silent he thought they probably heard him.

And then it sounded like the room exploded.

"Mingi!"

"Give him space!"

"Are you awake? Mingi-yah?"

"Mingi…" Yunho's voice cut through the static, Mingi feeling the hand in his squeeze tighter.

Mingi forced himself to pry his eyes open, squinting and having them flutter shut a few times before he could finally get them open and focused on Yunho's face. His hair was unkempt like he'd been running his hands through it for hours, and his eyes and face were red and swollen, and he was still wearing the clothes he had on while they were hiking even though he was covered in dried blood. Mingi could almost imagine him pacing around the hospital waiting room in them. Being told to go home and change but not wanting to leave Mingi's side if he didn't need to. He squeezed Yunho's hand back. "Yunho."

Yunho let out a broken little almost-laugh, his head dipping for a few seconds before he raised it again to look in Mingi's eyes. His breath was still coming a bit fast. "Hey."

"In for six, hold for six, out for twelve." Mingi said again, and Yunho looked down at him in confusion. Mingi just stared back at him, and after a second Yunho seemed to understand and closed his eyes, breathing in and out shakily. Mingi didn't know that he really made it to six counts each time, or anywhere near twelve on his breaths out, but he did it without protesting and that was all Mingi really wanted.

Mingi couldn't take his eyes off of Yunho for a while, but when he did he looked up to see all of his boyfriends standing around the room, clearly trying to give the two of them space but also not exactly far or spread out. It looked like all of them had been crying. A few of them still were. Mingi couldn't exactly remember what had happened, but if he was in a hospital bed he could guess it was probably fair they were a bit freaked out.

"Hi." He said, rolling his head to see them all better. Yunho had folded over after he'd done a few breathing exercises, forehead pressed against his and Mingi's joined hands. Mingi decided to let him be.

"Finally!" Wooyoung said, the first one to come closer to the bed, and practically springing at Mingi and collecting him in as much of a hug as possible while Mingi still held Yunho’s hand.

Seonghwa followed shortly thereafter, the rest of them behind him. "How are you feeling, Mingki-yah?"

"A little floaty." Mingi said, humming. He could see an IV bag set up by his bedside. "Am I on painkillers?"

"They gave you a bit of a cocktail." Yeosang said. Mingi laughed a little even though it wasn't really a joke, nor was it really funny. But Yeosang cracked a tiny smile anyway, so Mingi didn't feel too awkward about it.

"Mm, it's working I think." Mingi said, lying back more. "No one tell me what happened, I can figure it out."

"You don't remember?" San asked worriedly, hovering like he wanted to hug Mingi too but was nervous to try and pull Wooyoung away. Mingi shook his head.

"It's not that weird." Seonghwa assured. "You're probably blocking out a lot of it."

"Okay." Mingi said, still trying to dig around in his own head. They were all patient with him though, finding other things to talk about quietly until he finally looked over to Yunho who had only just picked his head up and it all came back to him in flashes. He gasped without meaning to, pulling his unexposed arm out until it was above the blanket, looking down at the bandage wrapped around where he'd bit himself in pain. He ran his tongue across his bottom lip and could feel raised stitches. He looked back up at his boyfriends, feeling suddenly a lot smaller.

"Mingi-yah?" Hongjoong asked, and Mingi remembered the tiny chipmunk in the woods. "Do you…"

"I stepped on a bear trap." Mingi said, the words not even sounding real to himself. He tried to flex his feet and felt a surge of panic when one of them didn't respond. "I…my leg?"

"Will heal." Seonghwa assured him quickly, which made Mingi relax slightly, other leg inching over to tap the numb one. He could still feel it there. Whole. "You might not be able to feel it right now because they had to numb it seperately. The painkillers weren't working completely and you needed surgery."

"Okay." Mingi said. Now that he was looking, he could see that one side of the blanket over his legs came up a little higher than the other. He probably had a cast on. A small part of him felt weirdly excited about it. He'd always wanted to have people "sign his cast," but he'd never broken a bone before. He wondered if his boyfriends would indulge that. He knew they would.

"Mingi-hyung." Jongho said, putting a hand on the bed carefully. Mingi could tell by the tone of his voice that there was something more and he tried not to look visibly scared. Jongho sighed. "The damage done to your leg…it’s not the worst it could be but…"

Mingi knew what he was trying to say. "But I probably won't be able to walk the same."

Jongho nodded. Mingi stared down at the blanket, at where his leg was. Yeosang cleared his throat. "The doctor said you might need a special brace and maybe a cane. But you'll have to talk to a physical therapist about that."

"They wanted you to talk to the doctor about looking into one before we leave." Hongjoong said. "Though, you obviously wouldn't start with them until the break heals more."

Mingi nodded, a bit numb. Yunho squeezed his hand, and Mingi looked up to see worry in his eyes buried under a tiny smile. "You're taking this well."

"I think I'm just too drugged up to really feel it right now." Mingi said, laughing. He wasn't sure if that was fully true, or if he would still have trouble conceptualizing what it would mean to need to essentially learn to walk again even if he weren't on a cocktail of pain meds. "But it…it's not that scary. I was expecting worse."

"Well, if it ever starts feeling scary, talk to us, okay?" San asked, and Mingi nodded easily.

Seonghwa hummed softly. "We should probably go let a doctor know you're awake."

"So we can leave?" Mingi asked, and Seonghwa shook his head.

"They want to keep you for another night or two for monitoring. To make sure there aren't any complications from the surgery, the tetanus shot, or the blood transfusion." He explained, and Mingi's eyebrows raised a little at hearing just how many procedures had to be done. Then again, he guessed it wasn't exactly an easy thing to fix someone's leg when it was as screwed up as his no doubt was. His eyes drifted to Yunho again, who tried to give him a reassuring smile. Mingi could still see the phantom fear and grief written into every line of his face. He didn't know if he'd ever not be able to see it now.

Yet still, Yunho was beautiful. Nothing could change that for him.

"You stay here, Yunho-yah." Hongjoong said, squeezing Yunho's shoulder. "We'll be back soon."

Yunho nodded, letting Hongjoong lean down and press a kiss to his hair before they all filed out of the hospital room. Mingi didn't dare comment on the fact it probably wouldn't take six people to find a doctor in a hospital.

"It's not your fault, you know." Mingi said, after they left. Yunho took in a shuttering breath. "I mean it. I wanted to go down that path too. And I'm the one who wasn't watching where I was going."

"I know." Yunho said quietly. "I guess I'm just sorry that it was you."

"I don't think I would've been much better at helping you." Mingi said, knowing he was echoing some of what their boyfriends had been telling Yunho probably since he called them all to the hospital. If Mingi was totally honest, he thought Yunho got the shorter end of this stick. He may be the one who got hurt, but Yunho had to see all of it, had to force his own panic down to help, had to leave his badly injured boyfriend behind in the woods without knowing how long they had, and maintain a semi-level head throughout it all. Mingi didn't think he'd be anywhere near strong enough to do all of that. "You did a good job."

"Everyone keeps saying that." Yunho said.

"Then maybe it's true." Mingi said, rolling his eyes a little when Yunho didn't respond. "You know, there's no one I would've rather had watch over me while I was stuck in a bear trap."

Yunho's eyes widened and he let out a startled laugh, smacking Mingi lightly on the shoulder. "Yah, too soon."

Mingi smiled at him. "It's true."

"Okay." Yunho said, smiling still. He wiped at his eyes, which seemed dry to Mingi, but maybe he had started tearing up again. Mingi felt like he should've by now too, but he was either too high on painkillers or too dehydrated to do so. He was okay with it for now. He'd had enough of crying.

"I don't think I'm gonna want to go hiking for a while, though." Mingi said, and Yunho gave him a tiny smile.

"That's okay, I'm pretty sick of nature myself." Yunho said. "Next time I'll just take you to dinner."

Mingi nodded, before something came to mind. "You still owe me a drawn bath."

Yunho burst out laughing, only a little scratchy. It was the most beautiful sound Mingi had heard all day. Yunho calmed himself after a second, kissing Mingi's knuckles where their hands laced together. "Okay, princess."

Mingi smiled. "I'm still your princess?"

"You never weren't." Yunho said, truthful. Mingi remembered when he called him that in the woods. He didn't understand why at the time, but now he thinks it's just because to Yunho, no matter what, Mingi was his princess. He was still pretty and loved, and he still had a knight, or seven, to look after him. How did he get so lucky?

Mingi leaned up, Yunho meeting him in the middle for a peck before resting their foreheads against each other. Mingi didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually he heard the door open, and Yunho pulled away. But even as the doctor talked Mingi through his injuries and the procedures that had been done and the check-ins and medications he'd need, he didn't leave his side. Mingi doubted he ever would again.