Work Text:
Something is missing.
For the longest time, Manang knew something was missing.
All the aswangs, the engkantos, all creatures great and small had a family to fall back on. A community. Kapwa, they are called; "fellow being", "kindred spirit", "the ones who are like you".
And there was Manang, who was simply…not like anyone, is she? She's someone who is considered as other. Someone who had no community to speak of. No family to fall back on.
It was just her and her monstrous self, sitting alone in her cave as her golden, slitted gaze rolls over the hills of Nakali Island.
It felt laughable for Manang to miss anything. To crave anything other than the flesh of those dim-witted, fearful tao, if rumor is to be believed. That is all that is, all that will be.
That's what she was. Manananggal. Remover. Separator.
Manang misses and craves.
The cavern in her chest aches and she doesn't understand why.
= A few decades ago. =
Tao, in Manang's opinion, were pests in Nakali Island.
Someway, somehow, despite being on the other side of reality, they always seem to slip through the cracks and find themselves upturned over on her island. Her turf. Her home high on the mountains.
It irritated her in ways she could not explain, but she could demonstrate.
For instance, their soft, fleshy bodies were weak against her sharp talons.
There were less likely to encroach on her territory after that.
All tao that came in Nakali Island had one reaction towards Manang, which was to run for their puny, insignificant, mortal lives as Manang gives them a false head-start.
She counts: one, two, three.
Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
The might of her four wings shoots her forward and Manang gives chase towards pesky humans who think they can get it through their surprisingly fragile skull that she was worth messing around.
Some of them turn around only to see a flash of bright purple gearing towards them, as she growls at them "GO AWAY! ALIS!"
Once the humans were far enough, Manang would let out a puff of smoke from her mouth, satisfied at the fact the tao crossing her area were hightailing out of there with a surprising amount of speed.
It would be almost funny if it wasn't an annoyance to how she lived. Imagine a nice nap in your own home only to hear screeches from humans who think they found a nice cave to settle in for the night and see the torn body of an aswang settling in for the day.
This was how Manang lived her life. She hunted at night, find a nice enough fleshy meal and went to sleep in her cave as the eight-pointed sun rises over Nakali Island. There was no market shopping for her, no get-togethers, no parties.
Manang would sniff in annoyance before folding her wings over herself, ignoring the thumping of the music from the towns below her.
She tries to ignore it, but she still counts the beats.
One, two, three. One, two, three.
Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
There was another tao in Nakali.
Only this time, this human didn't run away.
The Kapre took this human in, as if she was one of their own. She even has their visage on her arm, a tattoo of the wood-dwelling creature proudly featured on her body.
Manang found it laughable, watching this tao as she ventured alone into the woods. This human was rather short with cropped, fluffy black hair, holding onto a large wooden pole-arm with a circular disk by its end.
She points the wooden pole-arm around her, pointing at the treeline where Manang wasn't hiding in. "I know you're out there!" Said the tao, proud without a hint of fear in her voice, "Show yourself!"
Manang was unimpressed. "What makes you think I won't eat you, tao?" She asks while hidden among the tree trunks, her eyes following the shadows of the human as she flits around the forest.
The tao looks down on her body, "I'm just skin and bones, I probably won't taste good!"
Manang rolls her eyes. 'This stupid human.'
And yet, despite her usual tactics of scaring off the mortal, she reveals herself in full height.
Manang towers over the tao, her wingspan bathing the human's visage in its expansive shadow. Her purple skin glows under the moonlight, her pin-straight hair falls down the sides of her face, lips snarled into a permanent frown as the crowning center of her chest, a heart-shaped gem, sparkles in the middle of the night.
The tao does not look at her with fear in her brown eyes, but with pure, unadulterated wonder.
She stares at Manang as if she was a sight to behold.
Manang ignores the way that gaze threatens to crawl its way down her spine. It feels uncomfortable, too exposing.
"Who are you?" Manang asks, for a lack of anything else as her talons release themselves from her fists. The tao swings her pole-arm for a bit before dusting off her hand on her blue skirt and offering it to Manang.
"Fatima." The tao says, the white collar of her button up shirt drifting in the wind, revealing a gold chain around her neck with a small pair of golden wings acting as a pendant.
Manang looks at the appendage as if it was a personal offense, inching back as she sneers at the hand with a glare. "What are you doing here?"
The tao named Fatima shrugs, leaning her weight on the pole-arm. "I don't know, I just…got here."
Manang almost snorts at Fatima's foolishness. "Oh, so you wandered into the woods and suddenly end up here in the village of the Kapre?"
Fatima's brows pinch in protest. "When you put it like that, it makes me sound dumb."
"Aren't you?" Manang harrumphs as Fatima places her free hand on her hips, "Aba, why are you so mean?!"
Manang has entertained enough of this tao's ramblings. "WHY AREN'T YOU SCARED!?" She roars, lilac eyes turning into slits as she bellows out, "GO AWAY!"
The force of her voice lets out a gust of wind, fluffing up Fatima's already fluffy hair. "My son throws worse tantrums. Trust me, you're just as scary as he is."
'Infuriating!' Manang lets out a frustrated sound, colorful fire escaping her nostrils as her wings, all of a sudden, shoot her upwards into the sky.
Manang's wings had never done that before and she glares at them for it.
Fine, she might as well go back home. It would be better than dealing with this tao who seemed far too indifferent to Manang's monstrous features.
If anything, she seemed...
'…forget it.'
Manang flies through the night sky, ignoring the shout of Fatima from below her. "Wait, I still haven't gotten your name!"
Manang doesn't leave her lair for the next few day cycles.
Once the sun started to peek through the horizon, she settles in for the day. It was only during the late afternoon did her body begin to rise, two halves of her being getting sewn together as she arose from her slumber. She even does a little stretch while yawning, her torso rotating the full circumference of her form. However, unlike other times she wakes up, she does something new.
She approaches a small puddle by the cave entrance and begins to stare at her own reflection, her face lit up by the flame by the wall she threw a fireball on.
Everything was still the same. Purple skin, matching horns by her temple, black oil-slick hair, pale violet eyes that border on silver. Still the same face that caused other aswang, other entities in Nakali Island to simply flee at the sight of her.
Nothing was new. She was still that same terrifying flesh-eater everyone knew had no one.
That tao, Fatima, she must've been blind.
Manang lets her claws swipe through the puddle's surface, already placing her in a foul mood. She looks down on her shoulders, stares at both of her wings and said, "What was last night about? Ha?!"
The claws retreated into her form and her wings begin to droop in shame. Good. Maybe this time they won't act up while she's out hunting for food.
And maybe, if luck had it, that tao was long gone now.
Manang should never learn to gamble it seems because guess what luck was bestowed upon her after she had meat in her arms?
Her wings, all of a sudden, took a dive into the forest nearby Kapre Village. "What are you DOING?!" Manang looks at her errant wings as she finally feels her wings skid to a halt. Manang was used to flying but that didn't mean her body wasn't necessarily prepared for it.
So yes, while her torso was okay enough, her lower half containing her legs had slammed against something.
"OW!"
Looks like that something has that familiar tell-tale voice.
Manang lets out a resigned sigh, floating up to where her legs had apparently tangled up with the small form of the tao she met a few days ago. With one hand still on her food, her other hand goes up to grab her legs and effectively rejoined with her torso.
Manang still towers over the human between her legs. "You're still here." She drily notes as Fatima lets out a nervous laugh, raising herself up with her elbows. "Haha, well, can't exactly leave, no?"
'What's stopping you? Go away.'
The aswang doesn't deign that with a response, finally moving her legs off the human before walking away to find a secluded spot to eat.
Fatima doesn't take a single hint because she follows Manang anyway. "What are you eating?" She asks as Manang lifts the flesh away from Fatima's view. "What's it to you?!" She barks sharply as Fatima tilts her head, "Am I bothering you or—"
"YOU ARE!"
"Okay, rude!"
Manang gives up. She plops down on a soft patch of grass before finally feasting. Her claw lifts up some pig flesh she hunted from one of the far reaches of the island. She hated it whenever other entities were around while she was hunting, not liking the way their eyes look at her that made her feel like a freak.
All of them were like her too, they all ate meat.
What made her so different?
Manang takes a bite of the meat, ignoring the way Fatima studies her. The tao would get closer, peer over Manang's shoulder and her wings would let her, and Manang would shuffle and turn to the side before continuing her meal.
This continued for the entirety of when Fatima ate.
Eventually, Manang had enough. "What do you want?" She grits out, sounding tired from this human's shenanigans.
Once again, Fatima grins, "Your name, for one."
All this fuss for an aswang's name? This…this human still is not scared despite the fact that blood was dripping down Manang's face?
Suddenly self-conscious, Manang lifts a hand to wipe the blood of her face. Finally, she replies, "Manang."
"What?"
"You asked for my name. It's Manang."
"Oh." said the tao, as if surprised Manang replied back. "I'm Fatima."
Manang's mouth twists into a wry smile. "I know." Fatima once again lets out a laugh, more anxious than scared. Manang's senses can hear the difference through the thrum of the human's heart.
One, two, three.
Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
Fatima has yet to leave Nakali and she spends most of her time in Kapre Village. Whatever free time she has in the night, she chooses to spend it with Manang of all people.
Fatima's questions were relentless.
And Manang still finds it within her to always reply.
"Have you tried flying without your legs?" "You have seen it happen."
"Do you actually eat babies?" "Ugh, no, you don't know where it's been. Not worth the effort."
"How strong are your senses?" "I can hear the music from the next valley over on this island."
It never stops; Fatima seems to have an endless well of things she wanted to know about Manang.
A small part of the aswang felt exposed by it, like lightning striking through the sky interrupting the serenity of the scene.
But lightning was natural, is it not?
Could it be this questioning, this inquiry, this company be natural too?
Is this what Manang was missing out on in the solitude of her cave? This…this inconvenience shared with someone who so insists in entering the berth Manang had so carefully crafted for herself, was that meant to happen?
Manang secretly hopes so.
She has never had anyone like Fatima before. She doesn't know how she lived her immortal life without her before.
She doesn't know what life would be like after Fatima. She doesn't want to know.
The next question comes unbidden. "Is it just you?"
It halts Manang in her tracks. "What do you mean?" She glares, looking back to where Fatima stood behind her. "I mean the Kapre all have each other." Fatima says before playing with the pendant of her necklace. "Other aswang in other territories also travel in groups. Are you the only manananggal around?"
A bitter chuckle comes out of Manang before she could even stop it, gesturing to the area around her. "Do you see anyone else? Have you been bothering any other manananggal other than me?"
Fatima ignores the bite in Manang's tone, which she's been doing more as of late. Instead, she hums in thought while running to walk side-by-side with the tall aswang. "Isn't it lonely?" She asks instead.
Manang peers down at Fatima. "What do you know about lonely?"
The human could only exhale with amusement, "You could be with other people and still feel lonely."
There was something there, in the way Fatima said it, but Manang didn't mention it just yet. She thinks what they have is still a little new, a little too fresh.
A little too delicate for Manang to try and touch.
She exhales, "Yes."
Fatima turns her head, confused, "Huh?" With a pinched expression, Manang acknowledges with a rough voice, "It's just me."
The human says nothing to that, not even letting out a single sound until they reached the clearing towards Kapre Village. Manang made it a self-imposed rule not to cross their boundary in order to preserve whatever truce she had with them; if she can't find a community, she might as well just not make any more enemies for herself.
Once again, music echoes through their village, the drumming of their music heard from the edges of their community. Manang, as usual, prepares to leave only to be stopped by a hand holding onto her wrist.
Manang looks down as to where her arm seems to have caught a snag, only to see Fatima cheekily smiling and continuing to tug Manang towards her.
At the suddenness of the movement, Manang's torso detaches itself from her legs. Manang could try to free herself from Fatima's grasp but she almost doesn't want to. When was the last time she was held like this?
When was the first time? Was it this?
Is Fatima her first?
"W-what are you doing?!" Manang asks, as she feels blood rushing to her face, turning her usual purple face into a pretty pink. Fatima tries to wrangle Manang's torso to face her, hooking her hand to caress the back of Manang's neck while sliding the hand around the aswang's wrist down to hold her hand. "You ever danced before?" Fatima wonders, swaying to the fading sound of the festivities.
"U-uh," Manang clears her throat, "no?"
"Here! I'll teach you! See, I knew this would be so much easier if you were my height!"
Manang's lower half throws a hit at that, stomping on the ground once before settling down on the ground with no further warning. Manang bites back a wince at the way her butt aches at the sudden movement. It took only a few seconds before Fatima's words registered in her head. "You knew? You thought of this?!"
"Bah, no worries!" Fatima assures her, already dropping her hand at the back of Manang's neck. "I'm not afraid of the hard work. Just follow the beat!"
"The beat?" Manang echoes, "And do what?"
"Look down on my steps. Then hold my waist and—"
Fatima's other hand guides Manang's, the human guiding the claw to grasp her own waist and Manang flinches away as if burnt. She removes herself from Fatima, the feeling of the tao's palm almost burning against hers.
A flash of concern colors Fatima's face. "Something wrong?"
Manang couldn't believe this woman at all. "You're going to get hurt." She says, factual. And like usual, Fatima waves it off like it's nothing. "I'll be fine, don't worry!"
It's not nothing at all. She doesn't get it!
"CAN YOU STOP!?" Manang shouts.
Fatima stops moving towards her, the human's hand still outstretched. It actually makes Fatima falter for the first time, but not in fear. Never in fear.
'Why are you never afraid of me?'
Manang swallows something in her throat, her own hand covering the sharp talons she uses to hunt. She's killed monsters larger and stronger than Fatima. "I don't want to hurt you." She confesses. It sounds soft, fragile.
All things Manang isn't.
And yet, Fatima looks at her with those brown eyes and her hand remains outstretched for Manang to take. The aswang feels the fight in her wilt as her torso floats towards the human.
"You won't hurt me." Fatima says like it's fact. Manang wants to believe her so badly. "I know you won't. It's okay."
This time, Manang tries to ignore the instinct to flee. She closes her eyes and feels the nimble and careful fingers of Fatima moving Manang's claw back to her waist. Manang concentrates, ensures that her talons does not tear through Fatima's flesh.
Manang gasps as she feels their chests pushed flush against each other, Fatima breathing out a giggle. "See? You're not hurting me."
They move slowly to the beat.
One, two, three. Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
Despite only one of them having a pair of legs, it feels like an awkward waltz between four left feet. Fatima, more often than not, was tripping over her own limbs and accidentally dragging Manang along with her.
They settle on swaying to the music, Fatima moving both of Manang's hands to encircle her hips as Fatima places her arms on Manang's shoulders.
They both don't notice how they suddenly begin to float together, upwards into the sky as Manang's wings carry them gently into the clouds.
Manang's lips feel dry at their suddenly close distance. "I'm an aswang, you know. A monster." She murmurs, as Fatima shakes her head. "I don't think you are, Manang."
There she was again, trying to disprove the truths of this island.
"I'm not like your other friends here in Nakali." Manang growls, her hands gripping ever so slightly tight on Fatima's hips. Fatima doesn't look so much as bothered, even in the heights they were reaching. If anything, she lets go of her hold on Manang's shoulders, causing the manananggal to panic.
She hold on as Fatima leans back, enjoying the wind around them as her arms reach back up to Manang's body. Manang leans down to make it easier for Fatima, whose thumb rubs a small circle beneath her slitted eye. "I know you're not." Said Fatima, "I think you're extraordinary."
Logically, Manang knew that Fatima had to leave. It was something that was bound to happen. Aba, she herself told the human to go away the first time they met.
But why does the thought of that now unsettle her?
She knows what her life will return to the moment Fatima goes back to her world. She always knew that these little meet-ups by the forest clearing would never go on forever, not when Fatima's eyes dim the moment she sees a young Kapre jump into its mother's waiting arms.
And the difference between her and Fatima grows further, in where Fatima would stand beside the aswang but Manang would be nowhere in her sights at all.
Unlike Manang, Fatima has someone waiting for her on the other side.
Manang ushers them away for a bit from the situation, hoists Fatima up to a tree branch where she watches the moon as Manang sits beside her.
Fatima swings her legs a bit. "You know what I'm scared of?"
Manang smirks, "Me?"
Fatima actually tries to push Manang off the branch for that. "Nooooooo~" She teases before eventually relenting and gripping the the branch beneath her, her knuckles turning white. "I think I'm scared of going back and realizing I have to leave this all behind. Is it so bad I don't wanna go home yet?"
A warmth blooms in Manang's chest but she says nothing, allowing Fatima to continue. "I don't know if you know this but," Fatima tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "I have a son back home."
"You mentioned." Manang says, neutral, "When we met."
Fatima nods, a soft "ah, right" comes out of her mouth as Manang sits to listen. Fatima looks down at her skirt where she places her hands, now reddish with small welts with how hard she held onto the branch. "Is it bad that I didn't want him at first?"
She admits it softly, like it's a shame to do so.
"I never liked my husband. Our parents just…arranged for us to get together. It was the end of the World War after all and…I don't know, my mom wanted grandkids. Wanted life to start again after all that bloodshed."
Manang doesn't know what to make of that, not when she has never been in such a situation. Instead, she does focus on the one thing that matters. "Was your husband good to you?"
To her relief, or not, Fatima nods with a tiny placid smile. "He's nice enough. But I don't think I love him, though."
Manang thinks she deserves better than that, and was just about to tell her so, only for Fatima to lay her head on Manang's shoulder. Manang knows she means nothing by it, but it felt so cruel.
"My son was just that, a son I needed to have." Fatima whispers, touching the pendant on her neck. "But, oh, how I love that boy. He's my baby, after all. My little angel." She chuckles and snuggles deeper into Fatima's shoulder. "And he needs me, doesn't he? He needs his Nay to come home." Manang can feel Fatima's smile pressed against her skin. "But I just don't want to go back yet."
'Then stay.' Manang pleads in the recesses of her mind, ignoring the way the thought makes her throat choke. 'Stay here with me.'
She opens her arm, allowing Fatima to press her face against Manang's neck, her warm breathes sending chills down the aswang's body. How insulting it is to be struck down by a human who is barely half her height.
How insulting for Manang to want anything more. 'Be my kapwa. Be my family. Be mine.'
The silence stretches between them, nothing but the sound of Fatima's evening breaths as she suddenly drifts to sleep in Manang's arms.
Carefully, Manang lets her hand card through the soft strands of Fatima's hair. She knows now her hands are capable of things other than violence.
For the first time, Manang felt like she had something worth keeping.
And for the first time, she realizes that something worth keeping is something you'll lose anyway.
Manang searches for Fatima; she has never been late to their meet-ups by the clearing.
She searches the edges of Kapre Village, flies over Kakaiba Market, even visits the Kataws and their unmistakable sense of self-importance.
Manang couldn't find Fatima anywhere.
She had to zero in on her senses, listen in to that human heartbeat that mirrors the drums of the Kapre: One, two, three. Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
She searches for that rhythm, running down on land and focusing harder.
One, two, three. Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
One, two, three. Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
One, two—
"Can I think about it? I just need to say goodbye to everyone first."
Manang stops, listening in to the sound of that familiar voice coming through an underground opening.
"Of course!" Said a jovial entity, "But don't take too long! Who knows how much time has passed out there?"
Manang knows that voice and suddenly feels the errant sensation of something going wrong. The moment she hears steps approach the entrance, Manang hides away as she sees Fatima look around before retreating elsewhere, her expression pensive.
What was Fatima doing around that memory demon?
Manang enters with no fanfare, arms crossed around her chest. "Batiba." She greets.
The large tarsier turns around from her kitchenette, her wok heating up some fried rice that almost spilled over by the sound of the menacing aswang inside her home. "Manang!" Batiba cried, as thunder rumbled above them.
Manang glares at Batiba. "What do you want with the tao?"
The demon lets out a little laugh, "Ahaha, silly me. I'm sorry, I know that tao bother you!" She even sounded sheepish, "Not to worry, I'm about to send her back home!"
Manang's eyes scan the living area around her, her gaze flitting through the accoutrements decorating the vines. A silver helmet there, a board over there, a shoe, an earring.
Manang recalls the angel wing-pendant Fatima wore. "You're a demon, you deal in debts." After all, there's a reason why Manang was so wary of Batiba; demons will stop at nothing to get their due. Manang stressed, "What does she owe you?"
"Aw, come on," Batiba's voice sounds whiny, "do you have to be such a grouch?"
The aswang does not take the bait. "What do you want from her?!" She bellows as Batiba lets out a groan, "I just want a memory! That's all, honest!"
"Which one?" Manang demanded, her eyes once again looking at the collection strewn above her. What is their through-line, what is it about these humans that make them so enticing to Batiba?
What part of Fatima does Batiba want to claim as hers?
"She's not that good of a mom, is she? Wanting to stay in this world while her family struggles out there?"
Batiba says it like an observation she herself witnessed, like she had any right to say those things.
And she goes on as if Manang hadn't just glared at her in the most poisonous manner. "Those memories of having a child in a war-torn, freshly colonized country are painful to her, so I'm doing some good getting rid of it! I think it'll do her some good to just…give them to me!"
Manang knows the implications behind what Batiba is saying to her. "She'll forget her own child. You want her memory of being a mother, and she'll forget her own child." Fatima would go back to her bleak reality without knowing what she's coming back for.
"No." Manang says, voice gravelly, "I refuse to let you do that to her. Break off that deal and bring her back to her reality, no strings attached."
The thunder above them roars louder, and Batiba's eyes glow a menacing green. "I'm afraid that's not how it works." She says, as the vines beneath her feet begin to grow, snaking up Manang's legs as the aswang detaches herself from her lower half.
Manang knows that Batiba wouldn't be satisfied without repayment. That's what makes demons so annoying.
And so, she offers an alternative. "Take mine."
The vines moving by her legs stop as Batiba, eyes still a bright green, lets out a confused "…ha?" Manang repeats herself, "Take my memories, and leave hers alone."
She reaches her chest and taps on the glowing purple crystal encased there, a pulsating pink shimmering under its surface. Manang has never owned anything of value, nothing of hers to trade like a piece of jewelry or armor.
All she has is her heart, with it, all the feelings she harbors for one specific tao.
"Take this." Manang says, her hand hovering over the purple crystal, "In exchange, make sure Fatima arrives safe in her reality with all her memories intact."
Batiba looks downright hypnotized at the prospect, her greedy hands reaching out, "I've never had an aswang give themselves away before."
Manang offers her her hand, "All the more reason to say yes."
Batiba stares at the hand a bit before grinning, the green her eyes settled and the vines receding.
"Manang!"
She doesn't need to turn around to know who it is, certainly doesn't need to guess who would be so brazen enough to wrap her arms around Manang's torso.
Manang places a hand over the humans'. "Fatima." She acknowledges before finally turning to face the smaller human. Fatima's arms don't let go of Manang. "Oh! Thank goodness, you're here! Listen, Batiba offered to bring me back but—"
"I know of the deal." Manang interrupts her, not wanting to hear more of it. Fatima blinks, "You what?" She asks dumbly.
Manang shakes her head in fondness, "I know of it. I told Batiba to take it back."
For a moment, no one says anything and Fatima lets go of Manang, staring at her up and down. "…you mean you threatened her?" She asks, tone incredulous. The aswang in front of her nods with dry amusement. "Sure. Whatever you wish to call it." Not a lie but definitely not the truth either.
Fatima reaches for Mannang's hands. "So…I can go back home?" Her voice is breathless, disbelieving, "And I'll still remember my son?"
Manang breaks down the sob threatening to escape her form. "Yes." She answers, almost like a whimper, "I took care of it."
Fatima searches Manang's eyes, seeing for any trace of deceit hidden behind them. "Are you sure?"
Manang is the first to look away, knowing how utterly weak she was against Fatima. "Yes, I'm sure."
It doesn't sound convincing, not one bit, but Batiba is quick to enter the scene, her paw squeezing at Fatima's side in a reassuring manner. "You should say thank you, Fatima!" Said Batiba, "Manang is a good friend."
It takes everything within Manang to not scar that demon's face with how she teases Manang about what she's losing.
Fatima turns her attention once again to Manang, "She is. The best." She insists. With a surge of giddiness, she runs to hug Manang one last time. Manang feels Fatima's fingers caress her hair, "A half of me, at this point. A half of my own heart." Said Fatima, for Manang's ears and no one else's.
The aswang crumples around her, her own wings enveloping them in an embrace. 'You're making this so hard for me, Fatima.'
Manang places her forehead down on Fatima's button-up shirt. She knows her dark tears would stain her shirt and she's all the glad for it; at least some part of her will remain with Fatima even as she leaves Nakali Island.
If anything, it almost seems to make Fatima hold her tighter. "Thank you, kaibigan."
Because that's all they'd be from now on. Kaibigan. Friends.
And not ka-ibigan. Lovers.
That's not in the stars for them. Not out there in her reality, and not here in Nakali Island.
Manang will remain as she is: torn in two.
"Goodbye." She whispers, finally peeling herself off the human. Fatima scoffs, although it sounds a little wet, "Goodbye? Ha! No such thing, according to the Kapres."
Manang hugs herself with her own arms, as if trying to replicate Fatima's warmth on her body. "Are you still one of them?" She ponders out loud, snickering at Fatima's offended squawk. She lifts the sleeve of her blouse, "According to this tattoo, yep!"
Selfishly, Manang wants to mark Fatima too. Wants to etch herself in Fatima's skin so she could stay forever on her, claim that frustrating tao as if she was hers.
She was never hers, was she?
Batiba claps her hands before opening them, revealing a sand dollar with the sun of Nakali embossed on its ivory surface. "Are you ready, Fatima?!" She yells from her entrance leading to the seaside.
On the beach in front of them, the same symbol glows a bright blue with the sand falling into the portal opening a few paces from them.
Manang could only look at the horizon, ignoring the way Fatima takes a few shaky steps towards the portal, preparing herself for the trek back.
She walks a little bit further, her feet just a few more inches to the ledge.
And yet, she begins to turn around.
"Don't look back!" Manang growls, her voice breaking, "DON'T YOU DARE LOOK BACK!"
'I will never forgive myself if you do. I don't want my last moments with you staring at me, hoping I'd come with you.'
Fatima stops moving, and for the first time in her stay on the island, listens to Manang.
She takes one step forward into the air and falls into the portal, closing in on itself until the sand reforms on the seaside.
It's almost as if nothing happened. As if no one would notice.
The world collapsed under Manang's feet and no one noticed.
"You realize if I do this," Batiba warns, tone too casual, "you will no longer remember Fatima."
Manang does not turn to meet her, letting Batiba's vines come and capture her. 'If she is to leave me', she thinks, 'then take away any trace of her from me.'
Those vines wrap around both her legs and torso, her voice feeling resigned as she clarifies the terms: "And you will never bother her again? You will leave her alone for the rest of her life?" Batiba even makes a tiny salute to assure her, "I promise."
It won't be enough for Manang, those measly two words that would supposedly hold up their agreement.
But what matters is Fatima is home, memories intact, and Manang will bear all consequence for it if she has to.
She brings up her hand, her talons pointed towards her chest, and she strikes.
It didn't hurt. It honestly felt like nothing as she passes the crystal towards Batiba.
There was the flash of Fatima's smile, the feeling of her soft palm against Manang's, the press of her slim shoulder against the aswang's.
Before Manang knew it, all that she knew of Fatima went dark in her mind.
It's not like she lost herself, right?
She was whole before, after all.
She's not missing anything.
She's not missing anything.
…
Why can't Manang stop shaking?
…
W-what…
…
Something's wrong.
…
Something has been wrong for a long time. How long has it been?
…
Months? Years? Decades?
…
It's so noisy.
…
The voices don't stop.
…
They keep taunting her.
…
Saying how easy it is to steal from her.
…
How no one noticed.
…
What is she missing?
…
Something's missing.
…
Something's MISSING.
…
GIVE IT BACK!
One, two—. Isa, dalawa—.
("LOOK OUT, IT'S MANANG!")
One, two— wait. Isa, dalawa—.
("Manang is a lost soul. She has no village, only her misery.")
One, two—, one, two—. Sandali!
Manang is out of breath, she is out of time. She lost the beat. She skipped a beat.
("I think you're extraordinary.")
She is breaking in front of these misbegotten group of idiots!
("A half of me, at this point.")
One, two, one, tWO, ONE—
("A half of my own heart.")
ONE, TWO, ISA, DALAWA, ONE—
"STOP!"
Manang's feels the prickle of her form falter has her eyes look to the darkness of the den a few paces behind her.
She can't even hide her own anger, her own hurt. "Batiba," she spits out with a crack in her tone, "what did you take? What did you take?!"
Manang's wings are strapped to her back again, she's supposed to be complete!
Why does it feel like she's still missing a part of herself?!
Batiba reveals something in her paws, scintillating, familiar and beautiful. "Your memories." She reveals. "A piece of who you are."
The group in front of Manang looks back at her; the tiyanak, the weredog, the kataw, and the two tao. They all bear witness to the way Manang lets out a shattered gasp before looking down on her chest, where a gap had laid empty for a long time.
Batiba, realizing what she had stolen from all those years ago, looks down in shame. "And…I'm sorry for what that's done to you."
("Poor Manang. Kuya Raww? What happy memory did Manang lose to make her so sad?"
"Beats me.")
"Your memories are about..." Batiba hesitates, "...a certain individual. But, um, unfortunately..." She trails off, rubbing her paws together in nervousness, "...Fatima...she's no longer in the human realm, so to speak. It's just been so long and—"
"She's dead." Manang interrupts, to which Batiba finally nods.
Fatima is dead.
She has been dead for a while, whoever she may be.
Something in Manang's chest crumples and she doesn't understand why.
"Despite knowing that," Batiba warned, "are you sure you still want to know?" She hands over the crystal to Manang, who feels the heft of the object. Before Manang could second guess herself, she pushes it back into her body.
Manang doesn't remember it hurting before. But now it almost screams to tear her apart with a viciousness that mirrors hers.
The crystal's energy courses through her veins and she is left breathless, Batiba rushing forward to support her as colors fill her eyes, her mind, her heart.
It surrounds her, restores her, remembers for her. Rushing through her mind like she was being slammed over and over again against concrete flooring.
It's excruciating. It's painful.
"Are you sure you still want to know?"
The answer was clear the moment the crystal reconnects with Manang's body, even as her body undergoes a transformation that reflects the same one in her head.
It hurts.
It hurts, but it's hers.
It hurts, but it's her again, and suddenly the world made sense.
The loneliness of her cave. The lilacs of Nakali Island during sunset. The Kapre tolerating her existence. A pair of golden wings on a necklace. The slow dancing in the night sky. Black fluffy hair. Pretty brown eyes that left Manang floudering.
Fatima's smile.
Fatima's everything.
Manang raises a steady hand to the purple gem pulsing a streak of pink lightning like a heartbeat. One, two, three. Isa, dalawa, tatlo.
Manang's voice trembles. "There you are."
The thing she was missing, the person she was missing.
She was just right there, in the core of her own heart, even if she was gone.
'There you are. I missed you.'
Manang wipes the surface of the crystal before turning around, seeing that very same spot on the beach now occupied through the life Fatima had fostered.
'I miss you longer than I ever had you.'
Manang takes a step forward, into the sun's light as it finally colors her face once more.
("There she is, Bungi. You wanna ask what stolen memory left a gaping hole in her soul?")
Manang takes a deep breath and stares at the group, before turning around and letting her wings bid goodbye.
Without any further delays, they take off and fly her towards the sky she once shared with Fatima.
'I would bear the brunt of missing you for the honor of knowing you again.'
= A few years later. =
"Tita Manang?? Are you there?!"
Manang had to hand it to her, but Jo definitely has her old friend's lungs.
"What?!" She shouts back from where Jo was, no doubt still not entering her cave despite the many times she had come over.
After a few moments of silence, nothing follows.
Manang groans and gets up from her crossword game, a little book Raissa had given her during their trips bringing pasalubong from their reality. She walks towards the entrance of her home where Jo, older than when she first arrived, kicks a rock. "So I, uh, I have something for you!"
The manananggal looks at her, unimpressed. She doesn't say anything, as Jo squirms a little more in her place, reaching in her jean jacket. "See, um," Jo clears he throat, "so like, it was my Lola who told us stories about you. And uh, it got me thinking about some things and I was looking through her things and—"
"Jo." Manang stops her rambling as she pinches the bridge of her nose. "What is it?"
The human takes a deep breath before pulling out a small lilac envelope. Jo could still smell the efficascent oil from the parchment and it makes her miss her Lola a little bit more.
"I found a letter." She hands it over to Manang, "For you."
Sure enough, as Manang flips it over, she sees her name in script at the back of the envelope.
Manang lets out a breath she never realized she was holding, "…what?"
She tears the top of the envelope on accident as Jo explains, "So I was cleaning out the old house after i got back from Cali and um, yeah, I just thought you'd have them."
Manang ignores her, as she mulls over the words on paper. She feels Jo place a hand by her arm, "They're Lola's memories of you. I…It feels wrong to keep it from you. I hope it's fine?"
Jo feels Manang shake and she falls to her knees, to which her lower half detaches from has as she uses her hands to brace herself from the fall. Jo lets out a shocked yelp, moving to help her Tita, only to see what exactly her Lola had left behind for Tita Manang to read.
Manang,
I wonder if you remember me? I sure hope so.
I know I will never see you again, not when my life is already fleeting. My hand shakes as I write this for you.
I write in hopes that this finds you, the same way I did in that forest. I have so much to tell you, dearest kaibigan.
My son had grown up, working overseas in the United States. That's a far-away land away from home further into the West. In turn, he too had a daughter, my own apo Jo. She shares my love of Nakali, and I still believe that eventually she would find her way into that island with her best friend Raissa.
I have done my part in passing on my memories of that beautiful, strange land. I have lived a life worth remembering. My only wish is that you have too.
You are only as alone as you make yourself, and I do hope my company, no matter how short it was, helped you.
I will choose to remember you the best I can in my final days, Manang. And as the Kapre say: this isn't goodbye, because no matter how far apart we are, we'll always be together if we remember.
Carry me with you, Manang. Remember me so I live forever with you.
Kabiyak ng puso ko,
Nagmamahal,
Fatima.
Manang's eyes drift to the final part of that letter, the words threatening to burn her alive.
"Half of my heart,
I, who loves you,
Fatima."
This ridiculous, stupid woman.
Of whom Manang shares half of her heart and all of her soul with.
The aswang couldn't help it.
She lets out a startled laugh.
It bubbles to the surface without a warning and doesn't stop, not even when her monstrous eyes start to drip with black as she devolves into sobs, the letter clutched against the purple glow of her heart.
'You have gone where I can't follow.'
Manang laughs until she cries. 'And I wish you looked back so I could.'
Jo moves in front of her, opening her arms. "Tita? Do you need one of these?"
Manang couldn't even deny herself that comfort, the grief in her heart that aches to be shared. She nods minutely and Jo does not waste a moment coming up to hold Manang's torso. Stiffly, Manang brings her hand to ruffle Jo's hair.
She remember Fatima's locks having that fluffy, downy feeling through her fingertips. "You are so much like your Lola." She notes, her voice parched as Jo lets out a giggle, "So I've been told. You know, she's the reason why I know a lot of cool things about you. Like, how you kill people and drink their blood. All that gory stuff."
'Really, Fatima?' Manang rolls her eyes, "Uh-huh."
"But man, me and Raissa found you so freaking awesome!" Jo remarked, "We loved you since we were kids!" She lifts her bracelet, pointing to a small purple creature attached to it. "Raissa has the other half but, here you are! You were the first charm we shared! Lola made it for me!"
Manang stares at that charm, carefully running a finger down its colorful stitching. "Both halves making a whole." She muses out loud, making Jo nod in agreement. "Yeah. Raissa and I match…and she makes me whole."
The aswang raises an eyebrow, "Does she?"
Jo's face is flushed and she rubs a hand across her darkening cheeks, "…don't tell her I said that, it sounds really cheesy."
Manang could see why Fatima speaks of Jo and Raissa fondly. She rolls her eyes goodheartedly and simply raises her hands in mock defeat, "I won't."
Jo does a small fist-bump, seeming to not have outgrown the child within her, and drags Manang with her to the entrance of the cave. "C'mon Tita, let's go out karaoke with the Kapre! Lola loved karaoke!"
And it was at that moment Manang realized she found what was missing. It wasn't just the crystal, or the memory of Fatima.
It was the feeling of Jo's hand bringing her towards everyone else, who had raised their own hands in greeting as Manang looks back at her solitary cave up a hill.
Fatima had given her exactly what she wanted, built through the stories she had shared between two girls.
'That what I always wanted, that what I wished for…'
Manang, for the first time, had kapwa.
'…I have finally made it mine.'
BONUS:
"Did you know," Lola Fatima tells Little Jo, "they say you shouldn't look back whenever you hear something creepy?"
Jo puffs her cheeks, "Why, Lola?"
Lola Fatima smiles and pinches her cheek out of gigil, causing Jo to yelp and rub the spot her Lola had suddenly squeezed. "Because they say that if you do so, multo would follow you everywhere!"
Jo lets out a loud gasp. "Multo?!" She shrieked as her Lola nods knowingly, "Yes, it's true! Wag kang lilingon, as my relatives used to say! Especially during funerals! But I will tell you the truth, my apo." Jo could hardly sit still, jumping up and down as she asks, "What?! What?!"
Lola Fatima turns around behind her, sees her own reflection through the glass of her antique cabinet. "You should look back anyway," she whispers, "that's how you remember things. You always look back."
Jo hums thoughtfully, wracking her brain as she asks, "Do you look back, Lola?"
Lola Fatima nods sagely, "I do."
"Even if it's scary and super duper horrifying?!"
"Yes, apo."
"Why?"
Fatima could only smile, "Because looking back is how we, as people, love those we have left behind."