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Simon has always been observant, a product of living on Eden and being a soldier. It didn't change when he was in prison, in fact he'd say that being in prison elevated that skill despite solitary confinement. Always looking at the guards, where they kept their weapons, how their bodies moved; analyzing their intentions for when they dropped off his rations or when he was dragged away for labor. Always on edge in case they decided today would be a good day to beat up the convict.
Here on Erid Simon thought that the wound up habit of attentively observing those around him would loosen. Oh how wrong he was. He really thought he would've, honestly… but Simon never accounted to get so smitten by the enigma that was Ryland Grace. When they met, Simon was convinced Grace couldn't be real; pair that with the alien friend he had and their talks about saving Earth and stars and planets. He thought they were crazy and taking him for a fool; his distrust of them was ‘sky high’ as Grace would say. Seeing the stars was the start to gaining Simon’s trust, seeing the live plants inside Grace’s ship was the start to making Simon feel alive and arriving at Erid was hands down the start of Simon developing a new appreciation for the man.
Grace was so happy here, in all his life Simon had not seen someone who wore their heart on their sleeves quite like Grace; then again, he did live in a space station that was constantly at war with another while playing soldier, and then spent years in prison being treated as nothing short of a monster. Simon knows he was far from being a good person, and far from looking like one too with so many monstrous mutations in his body; but he has grown from that. Grace had given him time to learn to be who he always wanted to be; to explore and experience things he never would’ve been able to; Grace gave him the chance to become himself, no longer The Butcher, no longer The Convict, just Simon. And fuck did it take so much time… many arguments and cold shoulders followed later by apologies and sitting together in the living room sharing the bright quilt Grace loved so much.
After that it was inevitable for Simon to not love Grace and all his quirks, after all Simon spent a lot of time just observing Grace. The frustrated wrinkle between his eyes when an experiment wasn’t going his way or when Simon was being particularly mean to himself, the crinkle next to his eyes when he laughed at something Rocky or Adrian said or when he smiled at Simon every morning, the way his glasses never stayed on his face for long or the way his hair stuck up permanently on the back of his head. Simon loved those, all the time, they made his heart beat faster and his chest feel warm with affection that he could barely contain and he had to resort to clenching his fist and biting the inside of his cheek that didn’t have extra teeth.
He loved those… but they weren’t his favorite thing to notice about Grace; no, no, no. That spot went to the beauty mark next to Grace’s left eye, to the scar right above his left eye brow… and to the plethora of freckles on Grace’s back. Once Simon had gotten more comfortable with sitting close to the small ocean included in the biodome he would accompany Grace to the beach. The man would go at least twice a week on days he didn’t have any classes to teach; and he’d take off his shirt and lay on his stomach next to Simon to bask in the artificial sun in the biodome and Simon was completely enamoured with the view.
Simon was not used to seeing people with so many freckles, the lack of sun exposure greatly contributed to that fact, and on Eden there really wasn’t a reason to expose your skin other than your face and hands with how cold it could get in the station. Seeing Grace so carefree with his back exposed to the fake light to bring back the natural faded spots on his back made Simon want to run his fingers over Grace’s skin. To Simon it was as if Grace had his very own star map on his back; and there’s nothing he craved more than to trace constellations with gentle touches. He could spend hours memorizing and worshipping each pattern and mark every beach day but he doesn’t; because he knows it's not his place. They’re not together like that as much as he would want to; despite sharing a home and a bed and waking up with legs tangled and arms holding each other. Physical contact was a necessity, Simon understood that… so, as much as he yearns to be able to kiss Grace every morning, or pull his body closer every night and run his fingers down Grace’s back he won't do it.
He can live with this, admiring from afar and taking the affection that was willingly given; that is enough for him. So, it was definitely a surprise when Grace laid down on bed facing him instead of the ceiling and said,
“You know there’s a 3 to 5% chance that you find your person in your lifetime.”
Simon looked at him confused, unwilling to actually say anything right now and distract Grace from whatever this train of thought was.
“It’s not a scientific formula of course, no one really believes in that outside of a fun mathematical equation. But I for one, am someone who has defied the scientific community more than once and right now I say that it’s science.”
“You don't say?” Simon chuckles at that; he knows how stubborn Grace can be, and how passionate he was when defending his scientific beliefs. He found that UNESCO conference video some years ago, and Grace has told him about his recruitment into the Petrova Task Force.
“Yeah, laugh it up.” Grace's laugh fades into a smile and Simon feels Grace's hand softly trailing his arm until taking hold of his hand and bringing it up between them. Simon's chest wants to explode with how fast his heart was racing. “Anyways… we meet a lot of people in our lives, although there are significantly more people that we will never get to meet. Add to that all the impossibilities that surrounds us meeting halfway in space I-”
Simon holds his breath for a moment as Grace pauses. His own heartbeat pounding in his ears and Grace's hands lightly trembling in their hold.
“Here with you, I think… I think I found my person. There’s a lot of numbers involved in this, but my brain is just so focused on that 3 to 5%.”
Simon squeezes Grace's hands as best as he could. Rich brown and bright red eyes meeting striking blue ones as Simon inches closer. “Where're you going with this Grace?”
“Where I'm going is that if you'll have me… I'd like to be your person too.” Grace whispers. “I like what we do and what we have as it is, and I'm sorry, I know it's selfish of me to want more so it's okay if you don't want-”
“Ryland.” Simon pulls Grace’s hands to his chest and effectively shutting him up. “I've thought of you as my person for a long time.”
Grace's face turned a lovely shade of pink, his eyes getting that crinkle he loves so much as Grace smiled at him and inched closer, their noses brushing together and lips almost touching. “You have?”
“Yes…” The milliseconds it took Simon to finally press his lips against Grace’s was sweet torture, but he would glady stay frozen in time however long he needed to as long as his reward was Ryland's lips against his own. It's a simple kiss, just soft pressure but Simon can hear the small pleased sound coming from Grace as he melted into the kiss. Grace's slightly shaky hand let go of Simon's to cup his normal cheek gently but firmly, as if he didn't want Simon to pull away.
That made Simon's heart jump with joy, making it easy to ignore the uncomfortable crick in the neck. Grace pulls away with a sigh, his hand trailing down to Simon's right shoulder and pushing him to lay back while lightly leaning against Simon's chest. With his hand now free, Simon cupped Grace's cheek this time, brushing his thumb lightly on the soft skin under Grace's left eye before moving it to cup the back of his head. He could stay just like this forever, with his breath mixing with Grace’s and his hand interlocked on that soft blond hair. He pulled Grace in again and angled his face as their lips met again. It’s been so long since he last kissed someone but Simon doesn’t remember ever feeling this excited and soft inside. Grace licked his top lip tentatively, asking for permission that Simon couldn’t even fathom to deny and Grace groaned into his mouth when their tongues met.
For Simon it felt like a supernova in his chest, an explosion of desire and love that made his body feel alight with energy. The tiredness of the day be damned to hell, why rest when Grace is running his hand from his jaw to his neck to his clothed chest and back up again with tenderness, leaving a hot trail that will be seared into his mind for the rest of the week. Simon resisted the urge to smile as the kiss turned heated and he pressed harder against Grace, groaning in satisfaction at Grace’s shaky sigh when he pulled away for air. His cheeks now painted a beautiful shade of red, and based on how hot his own face felt Simon was sure he was just as red.
“That’s quite a second kiss.” said Grace between smiles and pants.
“Oh I could kiss you all night, Ry. Wouldn’t grow tired of it.” Simon dragged his hand from Grace’s neck, to his chest and then to his back; going up and down Grace’s back with light teasing touches.
“As much as I would love to do that too, I have an early morning tomorrow. The Eridian science team is almost ready to introduce the seasons to the biodome and need me to approve the final stages.” Grace said as he leaned back down to peck Simon’s lips.
“I don’t care what we do," Simon pulled Grace in for another peck. “I just want to feel you closer.”
“Hmm, closer you say?” Grace gave him a teasing smile as he pulled away completely and pulled off his shirt, struggling a bit when slipping it off his burned arm. Seriously, what business does a teacher have with arms like that? Everything about Grace enamoured Simon, the strength of his arms, the softness of his belly, the scars on his side and arm, just everything. Grace smiled at him while pinching the side of his shirt. “Now you, Si.”
Damn, yeah… Ryland Grace is going to be the end of him. Simon complies as he sits up and takes his shirt off easily before being pushed back gently by Grace. Then, in the biggest show of vulnerability Grace has ever displayed, he grabbed Simon’s hand, pulling at his arm as he laid down with his back to Simon. Simon’s eyes widened as Grace’s freckled back was in full display in front of him as Grace pulled on his arm and wrapped it around his waist. Simon gave him a gentle squeeze with his arm, his eyes locked in the living map of constellations in front of him that he didn’t notice Grace looking at him over his shoulder until he laughed. It clicked on Simon right then,
“Oh you fucking bastard! You knew?!” the blush that had faded from Simon’s cheeks came back in full.
He should have known. Simon has always been observant, yes; but there is one thing he really forgot about… scientists are very good at being observant too. Simon has never doubted Grace’s analytical capabilities, far from it really, the man was a fucking genius and curious by nature, but to think that Grace had paid attention to him enough to notice his staring every time they were at the beach was just ridiculous. Perhaps he really has loosened up, because the old Simon would have noticed getting caught; especially if it happened frequently enough for Grace to be so bold right now.
“Yeap-” Grace laughs. “Of course I noticed, you weren’t as subtle as you thought. Honestly I- uhh” he trails off, trying and failing to come up with something else to say.
“You what, hmm?”
“Ugh… I- oh gosh. I looked at you too… a lot. It was nice to see you so relaxed so close to the shore; and knowing you were looking at me made me feel good. Gosh that sounds so weird I’m sorry; I think I was trying to find a way to confess without rambling; thought the beach would be romantic but I was terrified of what you’d say-”
“You still rambled.” Simon interrupted him with a chuckle.
“Yeah, guess I did huh.” Grace’s shoulders started to turn a little pink and Simon couldn’t help but kiss the top of his shoulder and behind his neck, making Grace squeeze Simon’s wrist and cradle Simon’s arm against his chest.
“I liked it. Now if you’ll excuse me. I have a star map to study now that I’m allowed.” Simon dragged his lips lightly across his shoulders, kissing freckles as he went and tracing imaginary constellations with his nose as he explored the expanse of Grace’s back as much as he could with his limited movement. He didn’t want to pull away until every freckle- every star- was kissed; until he knew and memorized exactly how many constellations he could create. His hot breaths making Grace’s skin break out in goosebumps, a contented sigh escaping his lips as he relaxed under Simon’s ministrations.
“You didn't answer my question.” Grace said with a yawn.
“Hmm?”
“If you’ll have me… to be your person?” Grace squeezed Simon’s hand and gave a kiss to the back of it.
“I’m pretty sure I did, Ry.” Simon pulled away from his very important task and nuzzled Grace’s shoulder.
“Mmm, yeah… remind me again?”
Simon chuckled at Grace’s curious tone fighting through his exhaustion. “There’s nothing I want more than to be your person because you, Ryland Grace, are my person.” Simon gave him a final kiss behind his ear before getting comfortable behind Grace.
“Mmm, I’m glad then.” Grace muttered as he finally fell asleep hugging Simon’s arm.
“Yeah… I’m glad too. Good night, Ry.” Simon nuzzled the back of Grace’s head, burying his face on those blond stands and sighing, this was exactly where he wanted to be every night from now on. Sharing kisses and cuddles with Ryland… his person. Damn did that feel good, being wanted this way after an entire life of being nothing but a tool, a scapegoat and a sacrificial lamb. Despite all the excitement and energy he had felt coursing through his body, the warmth of Grace against his chest was enough to relax him and lull him to sleep. Gone were the days wondering if he’d ever be able to show Grace how much he wanted him, how much he wanted to kiss him and run his hands over his skin. Now he had it, and he wasn't going to waste a single moment from now on.