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23
He’s lost his friends in the dancing crowd. It’s hot, the dancefloor by now slippery from people dropping their beer; dancing too excessively or simply too drunk to hold it any longer. But the music is good, and the people around him are queer so— so he allows himself the same feeling.
To dance and perhaps to find someone.
Suigetsu and Karin won’t give him the end of it, really, but as he dances towards the bar he feels the eyes of men slide over him as if they are all thinking the same thing and Sasuke glances at them, hot cheeks, just to see if there is anyone who he’d choose to dance next to later. Someone who he’ll let buy him a drink.
He slides next to the person at the bar, his body warm and tired from dancing. His hair is probably sticking to his face, just slightly.
The man who’s ordering is blond and has broad shoulders. Sasuke feels his interest peek; a tiny bit of nostalgia over his first crush tingling in his chest. He’s always had a stupid soft spot for blond guys, much to both his own and his friends’ dismay.
He looks him up and down; the guy is wearing blue baggy jeans and a black shirt. Not really a fashion statement, but the fabric hugs the muscles of his chest and shoulders nicely. He’s probably been eyed by more men than just him tonight.
Sasuke tries to get a better look and—
“Oh, Sasuke!”
His body reels. It’s a split second in which he’d love to pretend he hasn’t seen him; hasn’t eyed him for something more. Naruto’s smile upon seeing him is so bright that it’s almost blinding. He’s the one Sasuke had expected at a party like this the least.
Naruto doesn’t wait for him to answer.
Of course he doesn’t. He knows him, still.
He asks: “I was just buying a drink. D’ya want anything?”
Sasuke feels a little dumbstruck when he nods and holds up his beer glass. Naruto understands him wordlessly and turns back to the bar. He’s chatting with the barman with a smile on his face. There’s small drops of sweat on his neck, running down from his hairline, proving that he’s also danced in that hot crowd. Sasuke can feel the feeling he had before slip from his body; there’s no way he’s getting with anyone with Naruto near.
7
“You touched the ball with your hand!” Sasuke looks at his mum, just to see if she has noticed how stupidly this boy is playing with him, but his mother is busy chatting with the red haired women. He’s played with Naruto for about as long as he can remember, but Sasuke thinks that he’s getting more annoying with the day.
Naruto keeps the ball underneath his foot. “So what? Did you make the rules?”
Sasuke rolls his eyes. “There’s rules to football, loser.”
“Who said we’re doing that? We’re just playing—”
Sasuke charges towards him, towards the ball. He tries to kick the ball out from underneath Naruto and bumps him over in the process, perhaps not completely by accident. There might have been a slight push.
“Hey!” Naruto lets out as he drops to the ground. He reaches out and grabs Sasuke’s ankle.
He tumbles to the ground, the ball rolling away from both of them, game forgotten. The grass is soft underneath him, really. It’s slightly too long and tingles. Naruto gets up and sits on top of him. He holds his hands down. “Who’s the loser now?”
He’s so stupid. He’s so, so dumb. Sasuke looks up at him and feels something change inside of him. Something new and dangerous.
Something that makes him think that the boy on top of him is like the sun.
“Are you boys okay over there?” He hears Naruto’s mum call out.
“Yeah!” they yell simultaneously. That’s all it takes for Naruto to grin down at him like he’s never been happier.
23
Naruto leads him to the dance floor, waving at a girl with long blond hair as he disappears into the crowd with Sasuke by his side. The girl gives him a thumbs up, which makes Naruto laugh. Sasuke doesn't want to think about what that could mean.
To Sasuke, Naruto feels out of place here. He calms himself with the idea that he came together with friends of his that might be gay; Naruto has always been a sweetheart, in spite of all the fighting they used to do. He’d definitely come to a party that isn’t necessarily meant for him, if it means going with his friends.
Naruto’s face lights up and he throws one arm in the air. Sasuke watches him, moving from one foot to another. “D’you remember this song?”
He does not, but he still loves the way Naruto smiles as if his face is not big enough to hold all of his happiness. Over small things; he’s always smiled like that over small things.
Before Sasuke can keep up, Naruto is moving his hips to the song and dragging him along in the rhythm. It’s fun. Hypnotising, even. As one song turns to the other and they dance silently. Together in one rhythm. He’s glad that Naruto doesn’t ask any questions; that he dances and slowly, maybe too slowly, comes closer to him. Until finally they are standing almost chest to chest.
Sasuke can almost feel Naruto’s breath. He can definitely feel his heat.
Naruto is laughing about something and drops his head against his shoulder — their legs are still moving to the music, Sasuke’s heart on the rhythm of Naruto’s laugh. He says: “You really surprised me by being here.”
Sasuke nods.
“It’s been a long time,” Naruto then adds.
And it has been. They used to see each other almost every week, and then, as he got sent to the same elementary school, every day. They always fought and when someone tried to separate they told them to mind their business. They were a front. No one noticed, but they’d never been against each other in those stupid childhood playfights, not in any game, not when calling each other names.
“I thought about you a lot, y’know.” Naruto’s voice rumbles through his body, entering him at his shoulder, his neck. The words ring louder than the music.
Childhood friends are supposed to separate, when becoming teenagers. They’re supposed to become strangers. It’s a fact of life. They never picked each other. Naruto has no idea who he is now.
“You surprised me too. Never thought you’d come to a party like this.” Sasuke answers, eventually.
Naruto looks up and looks into his eyes, as if to figure something out. His feet fall still, for the first time in who knows how long, so Sasuke finds himself standing still as well. “Do you want go get a breather?”
Sasuke nods, holds onto Naruto’s shirt as they find their way outside.
11
“Let me choose a video!”
Sasuke kicks the rolling office chair Naruto is sitting on. The song he put on has barely finished. He knows Naruto will put on some pop song or maybe hiphop. He doesn’t understand why Naruto thinks that that’s cooler than the rock he’s trying to show him.
Those songs are not really about anything, right? The music he picks makes something in his chest tighten; he knows he’s not the only one who isn’t understood. That no one really sees.
It takes Naruto all his patience to finish watching the video. Sometimes he looks with some interest at what’s happening, at the headbanging and the guitar solos. Still, when the video ends, Naruto’s fingers are at his keyboard within seconds. “My turn.”
Sasuke lets him. He watches him type, watches him pull up a video of a girl — one that must be older than they are, maybe even ten years — that belly dances. Once in a while, it shows a rapper. Sometimes, the singer dances next to him. At some point even against him.
Naruto is looking at the girl with wide eyes. At her naked stomach, her chest, at her skirt riding up against her tights. Something like anger rumbles inside of him. He wants to turn the video off. Yet he knows he has no reason to feel this way.
If he turns the video off, maybe Naruto will think something is wrong with him.
Maybe he’ll know.
He watches the video and when Naruto asks him what he thought of it, he shrugs and puts on a rock song by a woman. One that just sings, but looks kind of cool too.
23
Naruto stretches. “It’s hot as fuck in there.” His hair is soaked from dancing, his neck red. He looks nice like that. Sasuke had never expected to see him like that.
How long has it been? The last time he saw Naruto, they must have barely started high school. After that, Naruto stopped coming with his mum. They’d never really gotten each other’s number; them meeting had always been a fact of life.
Naruto was grown, a far cry from the boy sitting on top of him to punch him against the jaw.
“How’s Mikoto doing anyway?” Naruto asks him, a smile playing on his lips.
So they’re doing this. Right after dancing together as if— well— as if they’re something else entirely, they’re doing this. “She’s good.”
“Itachi?” He asks.
Sasuke shrugs. Itachi is always fine, always quiet about it. “What about your mum?”
“Oh! Yeah, she’s great. She just started a non-profit which is kind of cool! It helps women do sports without the costs. Kind of awesome. I wish I could go see her more often, you know. Actually I should go see her tomorrow. I think I will. Dad’s good too.”
Sasuke nods. He actually is happy to hear that.
“So,” Naruto mumbles. He glances at Sasuke and thinks for a while. A cold wind passes them, the sweat against his back icey, Naruto’s hair blowing up in the wind just slightly. “What did you mean, that I wouldn’t go to a place like this?”
He wishes he had a drink to hold, just so that he knew how to act. “A gay place.”
“Why—” Naruto frowns.
“C’mon,” Sasuke interrupts him. “You’ve always been, you know—”
“You haven’t seen me in like ten years,” Naruto tells him.
“I know you.” Maybe he tells himself that more than he wants to tell Naruto. He tells himself so that he won’t hope for something that will never happen.
“Yeah,” Naruto answers. “Yeah, I guess, but I didn’t— When you’re ten it’s different. You don’t know these things.”
“I did.” Sasuke says. “I knew I liked boys. Ate me up inside and you were just—” He doesn’t exactly know what to say. Completely unaware? There all the fucking time? The only one who he could have possibly been his first love? “I don’t know.”
Naruto blinks at him. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Sasuke mumbles.
Naruto swallows, rubs his neck. “I didn’t know. You were my first friend, you know.”
“I know.”
“But I know now. I know myself a lot better too. I won’t— I’m not the boy trying to annoy you anymore. If you want, I can—” He stops in the middle of his sentence. Sasuke allows his heart to skip a beat at all the ways Naruto could be able to finish it. “I don’t know if it would be awkward to you but I would, honestly, really like to take you home.”
Sasuke glances up at him. “In what way?”
Naruto grins and Sasuke— he’s really missed his smile. No matter how much Naruto grows up, he hopes that this will never change. “The way people do, at parties like this.”
“Don’t tease me,” he pushes Naruto slightly, until they’re face to face. He wants to kiss him. God, he really wants to kiss him so badly—
Naruto looks at his lips and whispers: “Sorry, old habits die hard.”
When he presses their lips together, he feels light. Naruto grabs onto his neck and pulls him closer, he opens his mouth against Sasuke’s; always bold, always one step ahead of him.
It’s everything they are; fun and intense, new and familiar.
When they pull back, Naruto holds his cheeks and rubs the red of them with his thumbs. He’s smiling. His blue eyes are bright even against the street light and the warm colours of the club.
“Go home with me?”
He nods.
13
“You’re going to a different high school?”
Sasuke doesn’t really want to look at Naruto. He should be happy that he can no longer get distracted by him, he’s been trying to convince himself. “I’m going to do some special programs.”
Naruto kicks him, playfully, then complains: “Are you calling me stupid?”
“What if, Loser?”
“Well, you’re a nerd.” Naruto tells him.
Sasuke chuckles, hands Naruto one of the playstation consoles. Their mums are sitting in the garden, a drink and plate of snacks between them. He just knows that Naruto will get bored halfway through their game to go and steal a handful of crisps. It’s sunny, outside.
“You’re just afraid you’re going to miss me too much,” Sasuke tells him, fooling even himself. He knows he’s the one here with heavy feelings. Feelings he’d rather see gone.
Naruto flips him off and tells him: “As if!”
Sasuke starts the game.
23
It was often on a Sunday morning, when their mothers used to meet. They both worked, but sundays were slow days where they’d make an elaborate breakfast for them and then leave to go see each other, their sons dragged with them.
Yesterday’s party feels long gone, as a strip of light shines through Naruto’s curtains. It’s a sunday like the ones he used to know; a slow one. One that has Naruto in it. His bed smells just like him, the sheets are thick and blue orange-checkered. Everything about it is so, so him that it has Sasuke feeling a little lightheaded.
He can still feel Naruto’s touch — a tongue in his neck, Naruto’s mouth on his cock, fingers pulling his asscheeks apart, thumb in his mouth — as his body rests against the mattress, Naruto’s arm underneath his head.
Naruto stirs when he hears him, blinking his blue eyes awake against the morning sun. When he sees him, he grins. “Hi,” he mumbles, lamely.
“Hey, Loser.”
Naruto gives him a little push, then raises himself until he’s hanging above him. Sasuke is slightly impressed with the energy he has upon waking. Maybe they’re both too giddy about this. “Oy,” Naruto mumbles, jokingly, before kissing him into the pillow, caressing his hip softly.
When he pulls back he looks at Sasuke for a while. Sasuke looks back. He keeps himself from saying this is real. He thinks it, though. This is real. Naruto’s eyes are like the sky, still. Naruto’s smile is like the sun. He’s a sunday morning in summer, he’s the grass they used to play on, he’s the drinks and the snacks, he’s like a day off with nothing to worry about.
Naruto’s voice is hoarse as he asks: “You want coffee?”
Sasuke hums. “Black.”
“Hadn’t expected anything else.” Naruto rolls off him and grabs a shirt from the chair next to his bed. Sasuke has left a hickey at his collarbone. It’s a nice dark red, the mark of his teeth at the top. He enjoys the sight, before Naruto pulls the shirt over his head and covers it. “By the way, I meant what I said yesterday.”
“Hm?”
“That I’m planning on visiting my mum. You’re welcome to come with.”
Sasuke just stares at him, for a little while. His chest tightens. A one night stand is— it’s already something. Perhaps, he could get Naruto’s number. Perhaps something more could grow.
But he knows that it’s always been Naruto.
He’s never been so sure about anything.
It takes one question from Naruto to remind him that this has never been a one night stand.
“Oh,” Naruto mumbles. “We don’t have to— eh— tell her. She’d just be happy to see you. I know she will be.”
Sasuke nods. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll come. But I need coffee first.”
4
His mother raises him from her lap when the door bell rings. He walks next to her, his hand in hers tightly. His mother has been soft today. It’s just the two of them. They’ve read a book with pictures. He follows behind her, hiding behind her leg when she opens the door.
Behind that door, stands a lady with the brightest red hair he’s ever seen. She has a big smile as she greets him. In front of her, stands a boy with yellow hair and red cheeks. A kid like him. The lady has one hand on his shoulder.
When their mothers move forward to hug each other, the boy is squeezed between them. Sasuke glances at them worriedly, but the boy — between their mother’s legs and stomachs — laughs brightly. “A hug!” he yells.
Both women laugh with him.
His mother pushes him forward slightly. Sasuke stares at the boy. He’s holding a frog plush, one that’s almost as big as his own dinosaur. They’re both green. “Sasuke, this is Naruto. You two can play together. Say hi.”
“Hi,” Sasuke repeats.
23
Kushina takes one look at them; that’s all it takes.
“Oh, Sasuke!” She pushes her own son to the side slightly upon opening the door and pulls Sasuke into a tight hug. Sasuke is not quite used to hugs like this, but had expected this one to come. “I’m so glad to see you! You’ve grown up handsome.”
She takes them inside, into the familiar house. Barely anything has changed. He’s pretty sure the dinner table is new. There, Naruto urges him to sit on the couch next to him, which he does, while Kushina makes them glasses of lemonade.
She places the glass in front of them and says: “I was waiting for Naruto to bring someone home.” Naruto blushes all the way to his ears. He can’t help but find him cute, like that. Can’t help but wanting to be the person Naruto brings home. “Somehow I can’t say I’m surprised it’s you! When Naruto first told us he’s Bi I always thought about how he used to follow you around,” She laughs at the memory.
“Mum,” Naruto complains.
Sasuke decides to indulge, maybe just to let him know that he doesn’t mind. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh absolutely! It was so cute.” She scoots a bowl of chocolates towards Sasuke. “So, tell me, when did you meet again? I want the whole story!”
Sasuke glances at Naruto, wondering if he’ll lie. He has never heard Naruto lie in their lifetime. He wonders if he even can. But, Naruto, blushing and embarrassed but so, so himself, says: “Oh, uh, yesterday.”
Now, Kushina blushes with him, the red almost as dark as her hair. “Oh! Naruto, you should have corrected me! I thought you two were, you know—”
Naruto rubs the back of his neck, looks at him. He wants Naruto to be honest forever, wants to see both of them smile. He softly lays his hand on Naruto’s leg and that’s enough for Naruto to allow words he’s been holding back: “We are.” Naruto looks down at his hand on his leg. Sasuke softly caresses him. “I hadn’t expected you to guess. It’s— eh— it’s very new.”
Sasuke chuckles. Fuck it, he thinks. He’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. “New for you; I’ve known for fifteen years.”
Kushina's laugh reminds him of Naruto's — open and blindingly bright — as she calls out: “I knew it!”