Chapter Text
Adrian likes to think of themself as no fool. They’ve spent centuries studying in their field, they’ve led large teams of Eridians, they try to consider everything before coming to a decision. But what was that saying? Something about always being foolish when in love?
Rocky had long since made them a fool. The first time they had heard Rocky’s voice they had practically tripped over themself and they had always thought of themselves as quite graceful. When they finally sensed them Rocky was so beautiful, they certainly weren't conventionally attractive but Adrian had long since known their type wasn’t exactly conventional. That wasn’t what really dragged them in though. Rocky listened to them talk, even when Adrian had known they were rambling on. They really listened, they asked relevant questions and stopped Adrian when there was something they couldn’t understand before urging them to go on. Adrian knew then that they needed to know more about them.
They spent their waking hours either thinking of Rocky or devising ways to sense them again. Their par had giggled at them for having to redo several rows of knitting because they were so distracted. Adrian had panicked when their mentors had finished their joint project but then Rocky was shyly asking if they wanted to go with them to a newly opened aquarium. Adrian had decided then that not only were they not going to let them go so easily, that they were going to ramp up their flirting too.
It was only a few years before they were taking Rocky back to the same aquarium and asking to court them. Then it was a nauseating half a year wait where they couldn’t focus on anything and could only remain calm by observing animals and bugs. Their parents had tried to reassure them but the only logical answer for Adrian was that Rocky had regretted accepting their gift. It was only when Rocky shyly presented their return gift that Adrian accepted that they had been wrong.
Their lives were intertwined from that moment forward. Adrian came to know Rocky deeply, learned all about their large family (or it was large to Adrian at least even when it was actually more the norm and Adrian’s family was small) and all their eccentricities. And Rocky in turn learned just about everything about Adrian. It really didn’t take them long to become official mates and no one around them was surprised by it.
Rocky going to space had been a joint decision. They both knew about the astrophage slowly chipping away at their star but surprisingly Adrian had been the first to learn about it. They had attended a thrum with many other Eridians in their field that had noticed the slight cooling of their planet and they were joined by astronomers who had noticed an anomaly, it seemed like their sun was growing colder. Adrian would later learn they proceeded much like humans had, spotting the Petrova line, sending a probe out to get a sample, and finding astrophage.
They should have known then and there that Rocky would want to fix it in any way they could, fixing was just something Rocky had always been meant to do. Yet they had still been surprised when Rocky had told them they wanted to talk about them going on the mission to Tau Ceti. Adrian hadn’t known what to say at first and they spent a long time thinking about it, spent a long time talking over every pro and con with Rocky. Something in them knew Rocky needed to do this so they had agreed because they knew the mission always intended to return home.
Parting had been deeply painful but Adrian had reassured themself that Rocky was just on a work trip (one that took them an unfathomable distance away) but they would be home soon. Adrian busied themself with work, visits with Rocky’s family, and visits with their own family. At some point a group was formed of the families, mates, and friends the members of the mission had left behind. Adrian had tentatively joined, only going to some meetings and really only ever to talk about their Rocky.
The meetings tended to ebb and flow, more people one cycle and less the next. Adrian attended as many as they could, if only to be around other people that understood. (They were getting quite sick of the same old ‘Oh, it must be so hard to be away from your mate’ and ‘I would never agree to letting one of my mates be gone for so long, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through’). However as it got closer and closer to their return window, the meetings started truly filling up.
Adrian had felt anxious but surely not as much as others. They had full confidence in Rocky and their abilities, their ship would come home because Rocky would be there to fix it. So the cycles passed as they waited for the Astronomy Hive to announce that they had spotted the ship coming home in the distance. The first day of the window of time they’d been given to expect to see the ship passed with anxious chittering. The second was much the same and the days that followed had Eridians dipping in and out to deal with their responsibilities or bodily functions. The mood continued to sour as time went on but Adrian did not waver. The last day in the window of time they’d been given had Eridians practically pacing up the walls but Adrian had remained calm in their designated corner. They didn’t scream or cry or wail when the hour was up and they had no news.
Panic and desperation had set in for the others, but Adrian had just calmly got up and left the room. They found a phone in the building and called their ren’s number in the Astronomy Hive and simply waited for them to answer. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours, it could have been days but when they answered all they said was, “I’m so sorry, my lovely.”
Eridians have perfect memory but Adrian barely remembers setting down the phone, barely remembers leaving the building, and barely remembers walking and walking and walking. They only remember coming to on top of a mountain, they had collapsed onto the ground and sensed around. They were on an obscure hiking trail near the city they were just in, no one was around, no one would probably hear them. Adrian screamed and screamed and screamed until they physically couldn’t anymore.
It could have been hours or days, perhaps even years before Adrian stands again. They’re numb but they can’t stay here forever even if some part of them wishes to sit here until they become one with the ground. Instead they walk with a destination in mind this time.
It’s only a short train ride to Rocky’s parents’ home, when Adrian and Rocky had been courting they had moved closer to the Space Elevator for Rocky’s job and while Adrian’s main lab was a bit farther away they were so often doing fieldwork and traveling around Erid that it only made sense to move for Rocky’s job and not Adrian’s. (Plus Adrian really didn’t mind the commute, they liked the train and it gave them time to get some work done).
They don’t even have time to knock at the door before it’s opening, it’s [Sandstone] on the other side. They perk up as they sense Adrian, “Oh, Adrian, there you are,” they say, their voice is hoarse. Someone must have called them or came here to inform them, “I was just about to come find you.”
Adrian’s notes stick in their gas bladders and they begin shaking again even though they feel shaken out.
[Sandstone] moves out of the way quickly, “Come in, come in, everyone else is here,” they say. Adrian takes careful steps on shaky limbs and they can sense everyone else gathered in the living room, all three of Rocky’s parents and his siblings. [Amethyst] seems to be the first to sense Adrian’s arrival.
They wave them over and pat the cushion next to them, “Come sit, I saved you a seat,” they say, their voice is quiet and as soothing as it always has been but Adrian can hear the underlying waver. Adrian does as they’re told and once they’re sitting does [Amethyst] hold out a hand, “We’ve just been talking about them.”
Adrian grabs [Amethyst]’s hand and just listens. [Sandstone] talks about a time when Rocky was just a young pebble and had wandered into [Sandstone]’s workshop and gotten ahold of their tools. [Ramsay] had been the one to find them and shout in fear that they might hurt themself but [Sandstone] had just laughed and said ‘Seems like they take after me!’.
[Whirlwind] laughed once [Sandstone] was finished, “Didn’t NiNi yell at you about leaving your workshop door open after that?”
[Sandstone] deflates a little but [Pearl] taps at their carapace, “Yes, but knowing Rocky they would have found a way to break in anyway,” they sigh. They all laugh at that but it comes out a little broken, a little shaky.
Adrian just listens for a while after that, listens and thinks. It feels wrong and unreal and like some part of them is gone for good. It just… doesn’t make sense to them. Their Rocky had always been a fixer and so goddamn stubborn, they wouldn’t have just laid down and given up. They would have fought to their very last moment to get back to Adrian, to get back to this.
It feels like they would know instinctually if Rocky was gone, like they wouldn’t be able to sense it but just feel it. And it just doesn’t feel like they were gone, it feels like they’re still out there somehow, fighting to finish the mission and come back home. It doesn’t make sense and it’s not logical but Rocky has always been Adrian’s everything, how could they possibly believe they were gone?
Logically though, Rocky is gone and logically Adrian could have stopped it, “It’s my fault,” they say without even knowing if they've interrupted someone. “I could have- I should have stopped them, I shouldn’t have agreed to let them go,” their notes crack as they leave their vents.
[Ramsay] laughs loud and broken and it startles Adrian, “Bold of you to think you could have stopped them! Our stubborn Rocky with the chance to fix something? No way,” they say.
Adrian can’t help but to laugh shakily at it and everyone joins in before it devolves into cries. They all lean closer together and laugh and cry and shake their fists at the injustice of it all. Rocky will forever be remembered by the people they left behind.
Adrian… goes about their life, but they don’t move on. Every day they think about Rocky and far too often do they swat away suitors like they’re bugs buzzing around Adrian’s vents. How could they possibly ever move on from a love as all encompassing as Rocky’s? How could they ever find someone more devoted than them? They won’t and don’t want to try. (Even if the cries of Adrian the beautiful widow are getting old).
They visit a lot with Rocky’s family, checking on them as much as they check on Adrian. [Amethyst] is the one to come around the most, they were the one Adrian knew the best but also the most available out of Rocky’s siblings. [Whirlwind], as their name implied, always tended to bounce from job to job, always keeping busy. [Agate] worked with the Lower Entities in their town and [Jasper] was far too busy chasing around their own pebbles. (The pang of the idea that [Jasper]’s pebbles will never get to know Rocky hit Adrian hard the first time it entered their mind).
[Amethyst] just happens to be over at the time, helping Adrian clean around their home. It’s been over five centuries since Rocky left but Adrian still meticulously cleans their workshop and places every single thing back in the exact same place like they’ll come through the door, head into this room, and complain about not being able to find something even though Adrian moved it only a few millimeters. (What they would not give to hear them again, even if they were just complaining. Somehow Adrian even misses arguing with them, even if they were always so stubborn, stubborn, stubborn).
Suddenly the door bursts open and Adrian almost drops the wrench they were wiping down. They set it down in its proper place and duck out of the room to be able to sense what’s going on better. [Amethyst] has also startled from their place in the living room but Adrian calms slightly when they just sense it’s their ren who burst through the door. It doesn’t last long though because their parent has fallen over themself and landed with a thud onto the side of their carapace. Ren has always been graceful and methodical with their movements for as long as Adrian has known them, everyone used to say that Adrian got their elegance from them. Adrian has never seen them this frazzled.
“Adrian!” they shouts as they try to stand up from where they had fallen flat on their carapace. “There is- we sensed- Ship!”
“What?” Adrian asked, coming closer and trying to help them up, “Calm down, take a moment,” they instruct, trying to keep the nervousness out of their voice. [Amethyst] begins shuffling over to join them.
Ren accepts their hand and shakes themself off, “We spotted a ship coming toward Erid!”
“What!?” Adrian asks, alarmed. A million thoughts run through their mind, they said a ship, not the ship so it can’t be anyone returning home, but what the hell is it then? Aliens??? It can’t be, but maybe? Maybe it’s a miracle, maybe somehow someone returned, maybe just maybe that feeling had been right.
“It’s smaller than our ship but it’s emitting the Petrova frequency! We checked over our work multiple times but as soon as we were done I came right here, I-” Ren pauses to try to collect themself for a moment, “They’re going to make an announcement to share our findings with all of Erid but I wanted to tell you first. I- I don’t want to get your hopes up, but-” they say cutting themself off.
Adrian is still for a moment because honestly it really could be nothing. It’s such a slim chance it could be survivors from the mission, somehow it’s far more likely that it’s aliens, which felt like such an absurd thought not even that long ago, but then they discovered astrophage. The idea that there were other aliens out there? Not so unlikely. It’s far more likely that it’s aliens and that these aliens have some understanding of astrophage that they do not have, that these aliens will be their saviors. (It hurts to think, the idea that their beloved mate’s mission could have been entirely in vain).
“I- I need to call everyone,” [Amethyst] says, breaking Adrian out of their thoughts.
It’s only calm for a second more before [Amethyst] is hurrying off to the phone and Ren is leading Adrian back to the same waiting room they stayed in waiting for news of the ship the first time. It doesn’t take long for the room to fill up again with Eridians Adrian recognizes from the meetings and it’s not long before Rocky’s family joins them in a small corner they’ve claimed.
It does however take forever to get actual news, every once and awhile a younger Eridian that’s clearly just someone’s new mentee (and thus not knowledgeable enough to be participating in the highly important science going on) will come in with very small updates. The first is confirmation that the ship is clearly alien in origin, its shape is odd and clearly houses technology they can’t identify. It’s also fairly small for what they would expect for a [manned] spacecraft.
Several hopes seem to be dashed all at once but Adrian doesn’t let themself despair yet. They don’t know anything really until contact is made with this ship and with these aliens. And if it’s not a ship but rather a probe than at least maybe whoever sent it knows more about space than they do, maybe they’ll know what happened. Perhaps Adrian will at least be able to learn why their beloved hasn’t returned to them.
The mentee comes back a few more times with tiny bits of information like the fact that the ship is made of an aluminum alloy. How odd, Adrian had thought, that these aliens are advanced enough to send a ship or probe but not be using xenonite. Rocky would often talk about the use of other metals with Adrian but oftentimes, to Adrian’s understanding at least, other metals were most often just mixed with xenonite to make alloys because of xenonite’s unparalleled strength. But eventually the mentee stops showing up because they really can’t figure out any more about the ship until it gets closer.
It takes many, many, many cycles before they get anything real. Adrian refuses to leave until they know for sure, they only allow themself to be pulled away by [Jasper] to sleep and eat. [Jasper] has made it their mission to make sure everyone in their little pod is taking care of themselves and to be fair they are the one that feels the most urge to return home, if only to check on their pebbles. When they are dragged home, they fall asleep to the chaos of pebbles running around and tripping over themselves. If anything at least these pebbles will, hopefully, grow up under a healing sun.
Adrian knows they’ve figured out something important because the mentee is joined by a far more official Eridian that Adrian recognizes. They’re head of the astronomy team, if Adrian remembers correctly their name is [Polaris]. They clack their claws loudly together to gain everyone’s attention before they speak, “Good evening,” they greet, “I have news to share with all of you before we release all of this to the public. We’ve made radio contact with the ship and-” Gasps interrupt them and [Polaris] quiets for a moment to give everyone a chance to calm down, “And we can confirm that it’s a [manned] alien ship.” Everyone gasps louder this time and even though Adrian doesn’t join them they understand the shock, Adrian is still shocked even though they knew it was the most likely outcome.
[Polaris] looks a bit nervous for a fraction of a second before they’re saying, “We’ve also confirmed that the alien ship has an Eridian survivor from the mission, it’s-” They’re interrupted by gasps again and Adrian feels shock and hope and fear rush through them all at the same time. Please, please, oh please. [Polaris] doesn’t wait for everyone to calm this time, “It’s 2nd Engineer Rocky,” they say.
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Rocky! Their Rocky is alive! That feeling, that sense, that they were still out there was right! Adrian knew they were far too stubborn to just give up, if someone was going to survive it was going to be them!
The gathered Eridians break out into songs and wails of grief and Adrian feels suddenly out of place. The joy of their beloved harmony still being alive is overshadowed by the idea that their family is the only one who gets to go home relieved tonight.
A few Eridians come out from behind [Polaris] that Adrian didn’t sense before, guards they think. They wave them forward, “Come with us, we’ll explain everything privately,” they say. Adrian follows them with Rocky’s family right behind them and they’re taken to a smaller room that seems like it was more meant for important meetings between employees than a serious conversation with a family.
One guard leaves and another stays but it’s not long before they’re returning with two Eridians following them, [Polaris] and someone Adrian doesn’t recognize. [Polaris] seems to straighten themselves out before they’re speaking again, “Okay, firstly, this is the radio operator that’s generally been speaking with Rocky, their name is [Hermes],” [Polaris] starts as [Hermes] presses their family marks together, “so, let me explain what I told the other families just now.”
“The way we understand it, something we never knew about until now is what killed the other crew. Rocky called it radiation and apparently space is full of it. Rocky was only safe because of their location on the ship, astrophage protects against radiation,” [Polaris] explains but it’s clear to Adrian that even they don’t fully understand it yet.
“But not the other engineers?” [Sandstone] asks with two taps of one of their legs. If Adrian remembers correctly while [Sandstone] wasn’t working on the ship themselves, Rocky or Biotite would sometimes go to them to talk about it.
“Rocky’s workshop was the only one almost fully encased by the fuel bays and it housed all of the extra fuel,” [Polaris] explains. What a cruel twist of fate, Adrian thinks. “The way Rocky has put it, it seems the entire crew aside from them became sick almost all at once and the doctors were wholly unprepared for this mysterious illness that was causing their cells to die. They died within a few cycles and Rocky was left to continue the mission on their own.”
Oh, oh, their poor mate. Adrian’s hearts ache for them, having to sense their entire crew dying around them with no idea how to fix it. It must have been torture, worse than torture. Adrian desperately wants to [see] them, to tap along them and sing them songs of comfort, to do anything.
“Rocky said they only learned about radiation because of the alien, who’s ship they’re currently on, and that this alien species was familiar with the threat,” [Polaris] explains.
“So there is an alien on the ship?!” [Whirlwind] jumps up to ask.
[Hermes] is the one to shake their hands, “Yes, we’ve spoken with them. Rocky has named them, Beloved-Teacher-of-pebbles, Lead-Scientist-of-the-star-killer, Savior-from-beyond-the-stars, Doctor Captain Ryland Grace,” [Hermes] sings, “They’re from a species called humans from the star called Sol, they’re about the same intelligence as us.”
Adrian almost chuckles, their Rocky could be a poet sometimes if they really tried, if they really cared to try. This alien? Must be important to them and well of course they would be. Not only because they gave Rocky answers but ended their solitude.
“According to Rocky the mission was impossible to complete without the alien’s help but they have returned with the cure for the astrophage problem,” [Polaris] says.
All of the family let out squeaks of joy at that, they did it! Of course they did! Adrian had never doubted them, Rocky would never give up, even with so many odds stacked against them.
“When do we get to speak to them?” [Pearl] asks.
[Polaris] and [Hermes] fidget nervously, “Well, we need to assess their mental status first and we’d like to wait until they’re docked and on solid ground first,” [Polaris] explains.
Adrian clacks their claws together angrily, after everything Rocky’s been through they won’t let Adrian speak to them? That’s- “[Bullshit],” Adrian snaps, “You must have a better reason than that. They need to know we’re here for them,” they say. They will not have Rocky thinking they will be all alone down here. They will not let them think Adrian does not still love them.
[Polaris] and [Hermes] cower a bit and a guard moves slightly forward, no doubt due to Adrian’s size. They’re about as big as Eridians can get and with height and weight come power. “You must understand,” [Hermes] starts to say, “The alien… is not doing well and Rocky seems almost entirely consumed with their wellbeing. Rocky informed us that the alien turned around to save them and because of that the alien is now running out of… nutrients. We have people working on it but… there’s no guarantee they’ll figure anything out in time.”
Adrian clacks their claws together louder but doesn’t move from their spot, “All the more reason they should know we’re here for them,” they say. Rocky’s family is clicking in agreement behind them.
“It’s just… we cannot distract them or do anything to set them off right now. Rocky must get the ship here and docked safely. Not only for their own wellbeing but for the sake of Erid’s,” [Polaris] says, trying to placate them.
Adrian wants to break something right now, it sounds like they’re more concerned with the cure than for their beloved’s wellbeing. They vent steam to try to calm down, they won’t get anywhere by angrily yelling or breaking something, it’s more likely they’d be kicked out and not allowed back in for it. They take one more moment to calm themself before asking, “When will that be then?”
“A year, maybe a year and a half,” [Polaris] answers and backs away a little. Adrian is glad for it because they have the distinct urge to hit them. [Polaris] continues to back away and [Hermes] follows their lead, “Now if you have any more questions you can pass it along to security and they’ll get it to us. We’ll update you when we have updates,” they say before they’re out the door with [Hermes] not far behind.
Adrian huffs but tries to calm down. They hate, loathe, despise the thought of their mate suffering any more than they already have but they can be patient. It won’t be much longer before they’ll be with them again and they can make up for not being there for them now.
Rocky’s family begins forming a little huddle, Amethyst pulls Adrian into it and they go willingly. [Pearl] shakes, “Oh, my poor pebble,” they whine.