Work Text:
The first time 4C saw someone die on Lifesteal, he had a panic attack.
Hugging Nom, as he coughed and coughed and coughed. As his joints creaked. As resin eyes turned to look at him, full of sorrow and love and care.
Was Nom actually apologetic? Or was he saying it just for the sake of saying it?
Parrot, the Admin, and some others had tried to calm him down, but he was sobbing and shaking and crying and whimpering and remembering a brother who died.
4C wondered why respawn did not work then. Why it worked for them in every other instance but this. Why Sausage and Nom had to die. Why his brother left him.
The ghostly figure of his brother was there. His brother stood still, as 4C sobbed and cried and panicked. His brother was not real, he knew that. He wanted his brother to be real. To live again. Nom died so young.
It only took the person coming in front of him, showing full well they were alive (he could not remember who they were from how panicked he was) that he finally started to calm down. Suffice to say, the other Lifestealers were worried about him, but he brushed off their concerns.
Mae and Shan and Graecie and Kitty and everyone else came to give their condolences at the funeral. 4C could not cry then. He just stared numbly at the grave at Cam’s solemn speech, as Katie broke down into gut-wrenching sobs beside him. He could only stare.
Coward.
The Kids In The Corner saw that 4C was going through a rough period of his life and gave him space. They would be there for him as he stared into space, sometimes for hours at time, only for him to shiver as he came back to himself and realised that hours of his life were gone.
Shan and Owain- Owen, as he insisted they call him, suggested leaving Bannerfall for a while, as an escapade to Nom’s death.
The Kids In The Corner were there for him as he freaked out over frogs, scared that they were going to lick him and get froglights. He had also been shocked to realise that the method Frogue used was not the actual way to get froglights. Rather, a frog had to go into the Nether and swallow a magma cube.
Frogue's tongue slid across his slime. Frogue’s tongue was cold, wet, and had a bit of saliva on it, with a rather rough texture. He scooped up some slime from his arm, molded it slightly, and coated it with saliva. Voila. Green froglight. It was disturbing, unnerving, unsettling, dehumanising, violating, and 4C hated it.
And the Nether… oh Hell the Nether.
4C did not go to the Nether in Season 5. He begged and begged and begged the Kids In The Corner, Wemmbu, and Squiddo to help get him stuff from there because he was terrified of going to a new dimension.
Climbing up the parkour, as the Rogue God occasionally taunted him. He missed a jump, and he was falling falling falling into an endless abyss, heat threatening to consume him whole, darkness clouding his vision-
Thwack.
He was on the ground.
He pushed himself up with what little strength he could muster, holding back a sob. He stared at the looming parkour again, and he felt a sense of dread.
Mapicc helped 4C get over the discomfort of the heat of the Nether. The demon hybrid showed him different ways the fire resistance potion could be applied, to help with the sweltering heat of the Nether, amongst other things. Mapicc taught him invaluable tricks, tips, and skills that he will never forget.
“What if you farkled? No, better to bank.”
Frick farkle in the Nether. 4C sent Mae into a death loop when she suggested that.
The void was another problem for him, one that Zam helped him through. By pushing him into the void. Admittedly, 4C was about ready to punch her for that, but the warm embrace of the void as he fell just barely stopped that. (Zam still came home to a prank though.)
Standing on the glass, huddling in a corner, trying to hide tears as the Rogue God’s voice resonated throughout the bottle, reverberating and grating the slimes’ ears. He clutched his cloak and sobbed.
There were also maces. While they did not look that similar to the morningstar, 4C still flinched whenever he saw one. The Lifestealers quickly connected that to his discoloured and slightly purple left side of his face. They did not pry though, which he was thankful for.
He could not see out of his left eye. He scrambled backwards, and turned to run. His feet pounded on the ground, heart beating in his ears, breathing laboured and body slowly growing more exhausted as he pushed it to its limits. He did not think he would ever forget the slime splattering as the morningstar was brought down on him.
They all looked like morningstars. All he could see was morningstar morningstar morningstar.
And oh, there was the mess that was Soul Hunt. Katie had shakily gone up to the person who looked like Nom, asking if it was really him, and the blank look lookalike-Nom gave made Katie break down into heavy sobs, Cherri desperately trying to comfort Katie and explain to lookalike-Nom and the others, while all 4C could do was stare, stare at the person wearing his brother’s face.
It was not him.
Then Katie joined in Season 8 of Lifesteal, and 4C could not deny the pure bliss and exuberance that was on his face, mouth in a wide grin, euphoria overtaking him as his sister swept him up in a hug, twirling around and giggling into his hair.
But the nightmares still came.
Nom dying Nom’s dead Katie Shan Mae Cherri Apo Kitty Scott dying. They hate him. Rogue God is mocking him Nom is angry at him please come back he’s sorry
They would comfort him.
But they were not Nom.
They would be there for him if he ever needed an outlet to discharge.
The Rogue Gods’ voice would mock him, calling him weak that he could not even handle some simple nightmares by himself.
Katie was too busy to comfort him. He did not want to burden her.
She would never think of him as a burden.
Mapicc and Zam were hugging him, whispering reassurances as he trembled and gasped for air. Nom stood at the doorway, doorframe visible through him. He stared apathetically at the scene in front of him, morningstar gripped tightly.
Coward.
4C sobbed.
The nightmares never stopped.