Work Text:
--tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]--
TT: Karkat Vantas I presume?
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now idle--
TT: alas, so much for my dramatic entrée.
TT: I suppose it can wait.
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] is no longer idle--
CG: GODDAMN, FUCKING NOSY HUMANS.
CG: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT FROM ME AT THIS POINT IN TIME?
CG: THE GAME SHOULD ESSENTIALLY PLAY ITSELF NOW.
CG: PERHAPS YOU COULD STAND TO GAIN A FEW LEVELS AND/OR FRAYMOTIVES BUT THERE IS NOTHING AT THIS POINT YOU SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT YOURSELF IF YOU HAD EVEN AN IOTA OF SENSE IN YOUR MISERABLE HUMAN CORTEX.
CG: FUCK YOU.
TT: Careful Mr Vantas. It would be a shame if you were to use your entire vocabulary in one sentence.
CG: THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
TT: I understand you have taken it upon yourself to watch human movies? Disney ones to be exact.
CG: WHAT!?
CG: WHO TOLD YOU!?
TT: John did. Apparently Pirates of the Carribean was a big hit.
CG: I DON’T EVEN NEED TO GUESS WHO TO BLAME FOR THAT CATASTROPHE.
TT: So it is true then?
CG: YES. I JUST FINISHED WATCHING YOUR HUMAN ALADDIN MOVIE. IF ONLY BECAUSE IT DROVE ME NUTS THAT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT AN ALADDIN WAS.
CG: TURNS OUT IT WAS ANOTHER BORING HUMAN.
TT: You didn’t like it?
CG: FUCK IT WAS AWESOME.
TT: I am glad to hear you have taken a liking to those movies. They were a big part of my childhood.
TT: After I had made an off-hand comment about ‘the aristocats’ my mother purchased the entire collection.
TT: And every movie that got released after that
CG: THE POINT PLEASE.
CG: I REALLY HOPE YOU DIDN’T CONTACT ME JUST TO MAKE FUN OF ME WATCHING YOUR STUPID WRIGGLER MOVIES.
TT: I merely enjoy small-talk, when I can afford to make it. Is this such an offense?
CG: NO, BUT IT CREEPS ME THE FUCK OUT.
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
TT: I merely wish to ask you a question regarding your culture.
TT: Considering the amount of research you’ve done into ours, I do not think this is unfair.
CG: FINE, FINE, I GET IT.
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] wants to send:”folder: romcoms A-B”(592 GB)--
CG: I’LL SEND YOU THE C-E LIST ONCE YOU’VE FINISHED THAT FOLDER.
TT: I appreciate the offer, however my own research into troll cinema will have to wait.
TT: I wanted to ask a more direct question regarding troll culture.
CG: FINE.
CG: ALSO, IF YOU DECIDE TO WATCH THOSE ROMCOMS, PLEASE SKIP OVER: “A SEADWELLER HOPELESSLY PITYING A MAROONBLOOD WHO IS PITCH FOR HIM, WHILE HER MOIRAIL IS AUSPISTICING BETWEEN HIM AND THE LEGISLACERATOR” ETC ETC ETC.
CG: IT WAS PRETTY MUCH THE WORST DEVELOPPED ROMANCE I’VE EVER SEEN AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING WHEN I BOUGHT IT.
TT: Very well.
TT: Could you enlighten me on how to tell whether or not a troll is flirting with you? Are there any tell-tale signs, does it vary per quadrant, does it vary per gender, etcetera, etcetera.
CG: OK, WHAT NOOKSNIFFER IS FLIRTING WITH YOU?
CG: I THINK I WAS PRETTY FUCKING CLEAR IN ESTABLISHING THESE RULES, AND MY THINKPAN WANTS TO TAKE A PERMANENT VACATION THINKING OF THE FUCKERS THAT KEEP BREAKING THEM.
TT: I would prefer the troll in question to remain anonymous.
CG: GODDAMNIT.
CG: WHAT QUADRANT?
TT: I assume one of the redder ones.
CG: ALRIGHT. ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN, IS IT KANAYA?
TT: I do not see how this is any of your business.
CG: FUCKING KNEW IT.
CG: SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY OTHER SANE TROLL DAMNIT, AND EVEN SHE’S FUCKING AROUND WITH HUMAN’S BEHIND MY BACK LIKE A FIRST CLASS TROLL BRUTUS.
TT: Let’s consider the hypothetical situation of my potential suitor being Kanaya.
TT: How would I tell whether or not she’s flirting with me?
CG: OK, I AM ONLY TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO SPARE HER THE FUCKING HEADACHE OF ROMANCING HUMANS.
TT: John mentioned something about those headaches, yes.
CG: ASGRSGBL
CG: FORGETTING THAT FUCKING TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE, KANAYA IS FAR TO… HELD BACK TO MAKE A MOVE.
CG: EVEN IF SHE’S FLIRTING WITH YOU, WHICH BY GOD SHE BETTER NOT BE, SHE WONT MAKE A MOVE.
TT: I see….
TT: So, assuming Kanaya is the troll that may or may not be courting me, she is waiting for me to make a move.
CG: DON’T GET ANY IDEAS LALONDE.
TT: I can’t make any promises I’m afraid.
TT: I appreciate your assistance in this matter Karkat.
CG: WELL, PERHAPS YOU COULD HELP ME IN A MATTER OF MY OWN.
TT: Oh?
TT: This should be interesting.
CG: I’VE BEEN WATCHING SO MANY ANIMATED MOVIES I PRETTY MUCH SHIT IN PASTEL COLORS RIGHT NOW.
CG: I WONDER IF HUMANS EVER DABBLED IN THE ROMANCE GENRE.
TT: We did……
CG: WELL, HIT ME UP THEN.
TT: I am not certain I am qualified to do so. While classics such as Titanic and Cassablanca are good, they are a bit…..dated.
TT: And I am pretty sure there exists some kind of etiquette against showing you what was popular when we still had our planet.
CG: OH? SOMETHING SHAMEFUL? NOW I’M GETTING CURIOUS.
TT: How to put this delicately……
TT: One of the most popular romantic stories that circulated when earth hit its expiration date, called Twilight, was probably the most insultingly asinine drivel I have ever read.
TT: Ah, allow me to rephrase that.
TT: The most insultingly asinine drivel I have ever read, not produced by a Strider.
CG: BUT IT WAS POPULAR?
TT: Unmistakably so.
CG: WHY?
TT: The hormonal urges of teenage girls, I assume.
CG: BUT IF IT’S POPULAR IT CLEARLY SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HUMAN CULTURE AT THE TIME OF THEIR DEMISE.
TT: Regretfully so.
TT: Of course this was bound to happen. My species could have been remembered on the merit of their scientific breakthroughs, the great artists in literature and poetry, the great philosophers like Plato, Aristotle, Descartes….
TT: Alas, it is Twilight what an alien youth will remember us by.
TT: I had warned them.
TT: I told them bro.
CG: OK, YOU JUST STOPPED MAKING SENSE A FEW SENTENCES BACK, SO I AM GOING TO DOWNLOAD THIS FUCKING MOVIE NOW.
TT: Very well. Just remember I did warn you.
TT: If this makes you lose faith in my kind, I suggest you look for video’s of, what we refer to as, cats.
CG: YEAH, FINE. THIS SOUNDS LIKE IT’LL BE HILARIOUS.
TT: Hilarious is indeed a word capable of describing the series, yes.
CG: GREAT, LET’S STREAM THIS SUCKER THEN.
TT: I think I will pass. But I wish you luck.
--tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist[CG]--
The movie was done downloading before the grubcorn was even finished. Karkat made himself comfortable and started the film, ready to be thoroughly amused by human failure.
And when 90 minutes had passed he made a shocking realization.
If this was the best romance movie the humans had to offer…….. His race was completely blown out of the water.
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo: Twilight Town--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited apacolypsArisen [AA] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited adiosToreador [AT] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited arsenicCatnip [AC] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited grimAuxiliatrix [AG] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited gallowsCalibrator [GC] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited arachnidsGrip [AG] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited centaursTesticle [CT] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited terminallyCapricious [TC] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited caligulasAquarium [CA] to memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to memo--
CG: EVERYBODY GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE.
CG: STOP WATCHING DISNEY MOVIES FOR GIRLS.
CG: I GOT THE REAL DEAL HERE.
TA: no.
--twinarmAgeddons [TA] left memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to memo--
TA: hell no.
--twinArmageddons [TA] left memo--
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to memo--
TA: 2top that.
CG: WE ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE AND THAT’S FINAL.
TA: biite me.
GA: Perhaps It Would Help If You Inform Us About The Movie Karkat
CG: BEST ROMANCE STORY EVER, INVOLVING RAINBOWDRINKERS, FIGHT SCENES, COMEDY, DRAMA, AND….
CG: GOD IT’S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL.
GA: Intriguing
AC: :33< that sounds amewsing.
CT: D--> I must object. I will not subject my moirail to any 100d form of entertainment.
AC: :33< grrrrr
CG: THERE IS NO NUDITY, YOUR MATESPRITE’S MAIDEN SOUL WON’T BE SULLIED.
CT: D--> I was not talking about the film, rather her interaction with you.
CG: OH NOT THIS CRAP AGAIN.
CG: …..NEPETA, DO YOU WANT TO WATCH THE GREATEST HUMAN ROMANCE PUT TO FILM?
AC: :33< yes of course!
CG: THEN I ORDER EQUIUS TO PERMIT NEPETA TO WATCH THE MOVIE.
CT: D--> hnrk!
CT: D--> unacceptable….. this is…… so incredibly 100d.
AG: Karkaaaaaaaat we were in the middle of the pirates movie.
CG: DON’T CARE. I FUCKING ORDER EVERYONE IN THIS MEMO TO STAY AND WATCH THIS MOVIE.
TA: oh fuck
CC: S)(ore, but is it t)(at big a seal?
CG: LET’S NOT FORGET OUR OBJECTIVE HERE PEOPLE. WE WANT TO UNDERSTAND HUMAN CULTURE TO PREVENT ANY FURTHER FUCKING EMBARRASSMENTS.
CG: THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE TO DO IT.
AT: iT UHM, kINDA SOUNDS LIKE YOU JUST, rEALLY WANT TO WATCH THAT MOVIE.
CA: I’m not against wwatching it kar but at least havve the dignity to say you just really wwant to wwatch it wwith us
GC: 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 T1R3D OF W4TCH1NG MOV13S >:[
TC: BrO, i Am So MoThErFuCkInG dOwN wItH wHaTeVeR mIrAcUlOus TaPe YoU gOt YoUr HaNdS oN.
TA: oh my beefliippiing god2 gz, tape2? what year ii2 iit?
TC: Er……. Is ThAt A tRiCk QuEsTiOn, My BiPoLaR fRiEnD?
CG: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP.
CG: I AM STARTING THE MOVIE.
AG: this is going to 8e soooooooo lame.
CA: can someone tell the bored looking human girl to get off the set
GC: 1 4M 4FR41D TO 4SK, BUT 1S TH1S OUR PROT4GON1ST?
CG: YES. THIS IS ISABELLA SWAN.
CG: SHE IS 17 HUMAN YEARS OLD, LIVES WITH HER HUMAN MOTHER LUSUS AND HER SECOND MATESPRITE, SHE---
GC: 1 D1DN’T 4SK FOR A L1F3 STORY D1D 1?
CG: IT IS INTEGRAL TO UNDERSTANDING HER CHARACTER.
GA: I Think She Looks Interesting
GA: She Has This Tortured Look I Can not Quite Describe
GA: Yet It Intrigues Me
AG: She looks fine, for a human woman, I suppoooooooose.
AG: She’s no Jack Sparrow, that much is o8vious.
TA: why ii2 2he monologueiing iin 2uch an emotiionle22 droll?
AA: i m0n0l0gue s0metimes.
AA: i find it calms me by 19%
TA: iif thiis lady would be any more calm 2he’d be declared legally dead.
AA: s0me w0uld find it an impr0vement
AG: There it is people. 8e very afraid.
GA: I Do Not See How You Can Judge A Film At The One Minute Mark
AG: Like this; THE MOVIE IS GOING TO 8LOW.
GA: How Awfully Childish
CG: SHUT YOUR PROTEINCHUTE THIS INSTANT SERKET OR I’LL BAN YOUR ASS. THIS IS HIGH-ART.
AG: Oh noooooooo. Whatever will I do if I get 8anned????????
CG: BETTER IDEA; KEEP THIS UP AND WE’LL WATCH THE OTHER 4 MOVIES AS WELL.
AG: I’ll 8e quiet as a squeek8east.
GC: HRM…… D1D TH3Y PUT 4 F1LT3R OV3R TH3 C4M3R4? 1T T4ST3S SO…. BL34K
GA: I Am Assuming This Was An Artistic Choice
AT: rEALLY? i UHM, kNOW tEREZI CAN’T REALLY TELL, bUT IT DOESN’T LOOK VERY GOOD,
AT: jUST KIND OF, wELL, FOGGY?
CC: I sea no problem wit)( it!!
CA: this truck is bein drivven by no one
TC: WoAh.
CA: gam no don’t evven fuckin start
TC: ShIt MoThErFuCkEr, WhAt GoT yOu AlL aGiTaTed?
CA: You wwere goin to speww some nonsense about miracles and wwhatnot
TC: JuSt LoOk BrO. a MoThErFuCkInG tRuCk, DrIvInG iTs DaMn SeLf, LiKe……. WhErE iS iT eVeN gOiNg?
AG: The empty truck; 8est actor in the movie thusfar……..
TA: unle22 the plottwii2t ii2 that thii2 entiire place ii2 a gho2ttown, created by Bella2 own iimagiinatiion or depre22iion iinduced halluciinatiions, that truck ha2 no place iin the moviie.
TA: 2hiit, ii ju2t de2criibed a moviie that would be 2 miiliion tiime2 better than thii2.
CG: THE MOVIE HARDLY EVEN STARTED SHIT FOR BRAINS.
AA: that m0vie d0es s0und interesting
CG: DAMNIT ARADIA!
GC: DON’T Y3LL 4T 4R4D14!
CG: DON’T YELL AT ME!
AC: :33< Don’t fight!
CG: DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
CT: D--> Do not stress my moirail!
CA: can wwe continue wwatchin the pirate movvie now
CG: NO!
CG: THIS IS BELLA’S FATHERLUSUS.
GC: 4N OFF1C3R OF THE HUM4N L4W 1 4PPROV3
CC: If )(e is )(er lusus…… w)(y do t)(ey seem so uncomfortable toget)(er?
GA: It Is Because Lusii Simply Do Not Understand
AG: Actually, there’s no reason given for why she 8ehaves so awkward around him. Other then the fact they haven’t seen each other for a while.
CC: Glub…….But s)(e is )(is spawn. S)(orely t)(ey )(ave a bond of some kind, right? W)(y are t)(ey almost completely ignoring beac)( ot)(er?
TA: well maybe he’2 a gho2t two.
CG: SOLLUX SHUT UP.
TA: nop, two late. runniing wiith thii2 theory now.
AT: i INSTANTLY SYMPATHIZE WITH THE UHM, hUMAN ADULT IN THE TWO-WHEEL DEVICE.
AT: i WONDER IF THE MOVIE WILL EXPLORE HIS CHARACTER,
AA: n0
AT: oH,,,
CA: So Bella gets a swweet neww ride but she still has no idea howw to act around her lusus…..
GC: 1T DO3SN’T LOOK TH4T N3W TO M3
GA: She Does Open Up To That Guy Though
CT: D--> the one that looks like an alpaca?
AC: :33< Oh they are kinda cute together, aren’t they?
AC: :33< Is he the guy this romance centers around?
CG: I WON’T SPOIL, I’LL JUST PROMISE YOU IT’S GOOD.
AG: Hahahahahahahaha yeah…..yeah, I’m not 8uying.
GC: 4R3 TH3Y GO1NG TO R3MOV3 TH1S F1LT3R 4T SOM3 PO1NT 1N TH3 MOV13?
CG: THE BLEAK COLORSCHEME IS PART OF THE THEME!
GC: OK…..WH4T 1S TH3 TH3M3?
CG: THAT TRUE REDROM IS FUCKING AWESOME AND CAN WORK DESPITE PERSONAL AND/OR CULTURAL DIFFRENCES!
AC: :33< Oh, I agree!
GA: That Is A Valid Albeit Somewhat Cliché Theme
GC: SO HOW DO3S TH3 BL34K COLORSCH3M3 3NFORC3 TH1S 1D34?
CG: BECAUSE SHUT UP.
TA: and thii2 ii2 bella2 new school, where they haven’t 2een the 2un iin year2.
GC: 1N WH4T HUM4N S34SON DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG GO BLU31SH GR3Y?
CA: also, wwhat is wwith that human saying she has a nice ride
CA: bella seems to take it as an insult but he didn’t sound sarcastic at all
TA: well duh. He2 a gho2t two. he 2iimply forgot how to human.
TA: iit ii2 a very tragiic 2tory iindeed; 10/10.
CG: I WILL END YOU.
CC: Aaaaaw, Bella immediately made a FROND!
CC: I am so )(APPY FOR HER! S)(e reelly seems to need SALMON---E to conchfide in!!!
TA: ye2 but….. why diid 2he make a friiend?
GA: I Assume It Is Because He Is Being Nice
TA: b2. iit mu2t be a trap. gho2t people don’t make friends.
TA: iif ii walk around liike my antii-2ociial 2elf no one come2 up to become be2t friiend2 for liife wiith me.
AG: No, people avoid you for eeeeeeeentirely different reasons captor.
GC: 1T S33MS TO M3 H3’S S1MPLY CUR1OUS TOW4RDS TH3 N3W G1RL, CONS1D3R1NG H3’S 4 HUM4N R3PORT3R
CT: D--> meaning he is scum.
AC: 33< aaaw, don’t say that equius.
AC: 33< i am sure human reporters don’t care about high ranking officers or furry popular people, and don’t invest fur too much time and effurt in repurting their efurry move.
CT: D--> how characteristically optimistic of you.
CT: D--> I appreciate your point of view.
AC: :33< Aaw chucks.
AG: Get a pile.
GC: ……4ND SH3 M4K3S 4NOTH3R FR13ND
CC: O)(, O)(, I GET IT! GLUB GLUB!!!
CC: BELLA )(AS TO C)(OOSE BETWEEN HER C)(ILDHOOD FRIEND, OR T)(ESE TWO CLASSMATES, W)(O ARE ALL FIG)(TING FOR )(ER ATRENCHION!
AA: why w0uld they
CT: D--> Miss Swan does not strike me as a ‘girl worth fighting for’, as the Mulan song put it.
AC: :33< Equius we really have to see that movie! You keep talking about it.
AA: d0es he
CT: D--> Er, Nepeta?
AC: :33< Oh yes. He considered it ‘alien high art.’
CT: D--> Nepeta, please desist.
TA: look at theiir face2 and tell me they arent dead. aa back me up here.
AA: they are n0t dead
TA: not what ii wa2 hopiing on aa.
AT: tHE MOVIE IS JUGGLING A LOT OF CHARACTERS, i WONDER HOW THEY UHM, fIT TOGETHER?
TC: MaN, i Am SuRe ThEy WiLl FiT tOgEtHeR lIkE a MaRvElOuS fUcKiNg PuZzLe, WiTh AlL pIeCeS fItTiNg LiKe SoMe KiNd Of MaGiC.
CA: can I havve like, a wwater-equipped spray to spray gam evvery time he says somethin FUCKING RETARDED?
CG: BELIEVE ME, I CONSIDERED IT.
TC: HoNk ):o(
GC: HOW M4NY FR13NDS DO3S ON3 G1RL N33D!?
CG: JEALOUS?
GC: OF BE1NG 4 STO1C, 4NT1-SOC14L J3RK 4LL TH3 T1M3?
TA: try iit, iit2 fun.
TA: al2o, check thii2 human……2he look2, 2ound2 and laugh2 haunted….. my theory ii2 lookiing more plau2iible wiith every 2hot.
CG: YOUR THEORY IS A LOAD OF GUNK, SPAT OUT BY BOTTOMDWELLERS SO LOW THEY CAN SEE THE BOWELS OF HELL!
GA: Quiet Please
AG: Kanaya please don’t tell me you enjooooooooy this filth.
GA: Such Brazen Allegations Miss Serket
GA: I Am Merely Intrigued By This Film
GC: 1 SM3LL 4 ROTT3N H4LF-TRUTH 1N TH3R3…….
CC: GLUB, get off )(er back. If s)(e wants to enjoy the movie t)(at’s fin.
CA: fef, wwho are you kiddin? just admit you enjoy it too
CC: glub glub glub…….
CT: D--> we have barely crossed the 5 minute mark and already we e%perience e%tremely varied opinions.
GC: 4ND 4NOTH3R G1RL JO1NS TH3 M1X…….31TH3R TH3S3 P3OPL3 4R3 S41NTS WH3N 1T COM3S TO TR34T1NG STR4NG3RS K1NDLY OR TH3 WR1T3RS C4N GO 34T 4 BULG3
CC: But now all c)(aracters are establish)(ed t)(e story can move forward!
AT: i JUST CANT WAIT TO SEE UHM, wHAT KIND OF PEOPLE THEY REALLY ARE,
AT: mAYBE THEY REALLY ARE GHOSTS AND/oR A FIGMENT OF bELLA’S IMAGINATION.
CG: ROMANTIC MOVIE ASSHAT, NOT PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR.
TA: well there’2 your problem.
CG: FUCK OFF.
AC: :33< I just want to see what person Bella gets flushed fur.
AC: :33< My money is on the guy with the camera :))
TC: AaAaW yEaH, tHaT gUy.
TC: WhAt WaS hIs NaMe AgAiN?
AC: :33< uhm…..
CA: fair point…… I already forgot all these people’s names but Bella’s
AC: :33< me too!
GC: OH, TH3R3’S 4 GROUP OF POPUL4R K1DS NOW 1 G3T 1T
GC: B3LL4 W1LL B3 TORN 1N H3R 4LL3G14NC3 W1TH BOTH GROUPS 4ND W1LL H4V3 TO M4K3 4 D3C1S1ON B3TW33N LOV3, FR13NDSH1P OR POPUL4R1TY
AG: I suppoooooooose that can make for decent drama.
TA: iif iit hadn’t been done to death.
CT: D--> hrk….. that woman.
AC: :33< what is it Equius?
CT: D--> she carries a grace I never e%pected to find in humans.
CT: D--> her smile is radiant and her eyes carry the playfulness of a bo% baby meowbeasts.
TA: ii2 thii2 really happeniing?
AA: he gets like that 0cassi0nally
GC: OOOOH. 1 S33 >;]
GC: 3QU1US, 1S TH1S YOU?
TA: hahahahahahaha
AC: :33 oh that is perfect! <3
TC: ShIt SiS, yOu WoRk YoUr LiTtLe ArTiStIc MiRaClEs
CT: D--> Inconceivable!
CT: D--> you shall remove that image from the chat this instant!
GC: N4H
CT: D--> This is unacceptable! You shall not shame me or Aradia any further!
AA: i d0 n0t mind
CT: D--> A-Aradia?
AA: in fact i find it kind 0f funny
AA: s0
AA: haha
CT: D--> er……. Nepeta?
AC: :33< already put some towels next to you. I kind of expurcted something like this when we started :33
CT: D--> much appreciated
CA: pffffffft, HAHAHAHAHAHA
CA: oh cod, wwho is this fuckin pansy?
GC: H3 SM3LLS L1K3 H3 FORGOT WH4T H3 C4M3 1N TH3R3 FOR
TA: ii2 thii2 guy gonna be liike, a gag character?
CG: THAT IS EDWARD CULLEN YOU COLOSSAL FOWLFUCKERS. SHOW SOME RESPECT.
GA: He Looks Good For A Human Male
GA: Smooth Pale Skin
GA: Gorgeous Hair
CG: I KNOW RIGHT!
CC: )(e’s not as rugged as Mr Sparrow, but )(e )(as a certain c)(arm that makes me feel all warm……
CA: hahahahaha
CA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh god, I take everything 8ack.
AG: This is hilarious.
AT: lAST TIME i LOOKED LIKE THAT AT A WOMAN, uHM,,,
AT: i GOT THROWN OF A CLIFF,,,,,,
AG: Yeah, sorry a8out that.
GA: I Think You Are Missing The Point
GA: This Is An Intense Glare
GA: He Is Trying To Figure Bella Out
TA: ii fiigured her out iin one glance; boriing.
TC: PeRhApS hE dOeS nOt UnDeRsTaNd HoW sOmEoNe CaN bE tHiS bOrInG?
TC: LiKe A lItTlE mIrAcLe Of BoReDoM SiTtInG nExT tO hIm.
TC: AaAaAh
TC: DoNt SpRaY mE bRo. ThAt ShIt Is MiLdLy AnNoYiNg.
CA: its for your own good!
CG: OH COME ON! SHE’S NOT BORING.
GC: 1TS FUNNY C4US3 1TS TRU3 >:]
CG: IT IS AN INTENSE AND MEANINGFUL GLARE, YOU UNCULTURED ASSHOLES.
CA: funnily enough edwward has the exact reaction I wwould havve
CT: D--> more bonding betwixt Bella and her 100sus….. or what constitutes as such.
GA: I Think This Is Really Significant
GA: Bella Clearly Feels Estranged From Her Lusus
TA: becau2e he’2 a gho2t.
GA: Quiet
GA: And Because Of This Feels Insecure When Confronted With Social Contact
CA: yes, but at least her lusus tries to keep in contact wwith her.
GC: WH1L3 SH3 M4K3S NO 3FFORT WH4TSO3V3R.
AG: Also, aren’t you glaaaaaaaad you know that old man apparently did something fun when 8ella was a child?
AT: sO HE’S GOING TO DIE SOON?
AG: That or he’s another suitor........ which makes like, 8 now.
CA: I thought she had to choose betwween groups, not lovvers
CC: I am S)(OR---E s)(e has to do BOT)(.
CA: wwhy is evveryone fins-ovver-heels for her?
CA: is anyone actually attracted to this human?
GA: Uhm
CC: E)(E)(E)(……..
CA: e tu fef?
CG: OK, DON’T CARE MUCH FOR BELLA. BUT EDWARD IS A FUCKING DREAMBOAT.
TA: plea2e 2top......
TA: unable to talk to her father lu2u2, but her mother lu2u2, thou2and2 of miile2 away get2 all the juiicy detaiil2.
AG: Really? Aaaaaaaall of them?
GA: She Heavily Insinuates She Likes One Of The Boys
GA: And If That Exchange Of Looks With Edward Was Any Indication
CA: ok kan no stop right there
CA: wwe wwere complainin about the lack of chemistry between Ariel and prince wwhatshisface
TC: YeAh, I rEmEmBeR tHaT. gOoD tImEs BrO.
TC: wHeN aRe We WaTcHiNg AnOtHeR oNe Of ThEm FuCkInG dIsNeY mOvIeS?
CA: not the point
CA: the point is wwhy does bella get a free pass for havving a crush on someone she didn’t say a wword to
AA: i think she said hi
CA: again not the flippin point
AC: :33< well….. isn’t it pawsibble to fall in love on furst sight?
CA: No that’s called havving a crush
CA: She doesn’t knoww SHIT about his personality likes dislikes etc
GC: Y34H, WH4T 1F SH3 3NJOYS PURSU1NG JUST1C3 4ND F1GHT1NG TH3 W1CK3D WH1L3 H3 3NJOYS 4RGU31NG 4ND W4TCH1NG STUP1D MOV13S 4LL TH3 T1M3?
CG: HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU?
GA: Oh Look
GA: Now Who Is Developping A Romance Ampora
CA: wwatching trough a microscope together and havving some of the most awwkwward dialogue in paradox space does not count for devveloping a romance
TA: ii gave that woman a miicro2cope. women love miicro2cope2.
AA: he actually did
AA: and i actually enj0yed it 0nce
TC: MaN, tHoSe ThInGs wOuLd AlWaYs ConFuSe Me
TC: BuT tHaT’s CoOl. I jUsT wAnTeD tO lOoK aT tHe BeAuTiFuL sHaPeS aNd CoLoRs.
CT: D--> I might be remiss to say it but….. what e%actly is the point here?
CT: D--> What is Bella trying to accomplish? What are her struggles? What, in a nutshell, is the source of conflict in this movie?
GA: Well
CC: T)(e relation between B---ELLA and her Lusus?
CG: AND THE FACT THAT BELLA IS LOOKING FOR A MATESPRITE!
CT: D--> I see….. these are indeed struggles.
CT: D--> But what is the overall conflict? What are the stakes and what stands in her way?
CT: D--> We are now watching two primitives ogle cryingfruit trough microscopes.
AC: :33< I think what Equius is trying to say is….. is there a point to any of this?
CT: D--> Thank you Nepeta
CG: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?
TA: how doe2 thii2 2cene develop theiir character2 iin any way?
CG: TROUGH SHUT UP.
TA: Edward move2 over the parkiing lot wiith bliindiing 2peed and nobody que2tiion2 iit but Bella…….
GC: 3V3N TH3 GUY WHO’S R1D3 GOT WR3CK3D DO3SN’T S33M 3V3N 4 L1TTL3 SURPR1S3D
CA: I regret to inform that sol’s ghost theory is lookin pretty damn plausible to explain all this unnatural behavvior
TA: thank you.
CC: Buoys, as muc)( as I appreciate you two getting along so SWIMMINGLY…..
CC: Clam up and stop trying to ruin t)(is movie!!!!!!
CG: SERIOUSLY.
CC: T)(ey just do not recognize ART!!!
TC: I tHiNk ItS jUsT bEaUtIfUl
AG: Seeeeeeeriously Peixes? You are defending this as art?
GA: I Did Not Expect You To Understand Vriska
GA: But I Had Hoped Eridan Would Recognize This As A Landmark In Romantic Storytelling
CA: as a howw-not-to-do-it guide perhaps
AG: What do you mean,”I wouldn’t understand!?”
AG: I’ll have you know I am perfectly in the know-how a8out the fine arts!
GA: Intriguing
GA: Please Elaborate
GC: (TH34TRE)
AG: (what!?)
GC: (YOU 4R3 4 F4N OF TH34TR3)
AG: Well, I er……. Happen to 8e trained in theatre!!!!!!!!
GA: That
GA: That Is Such A Blatant Lie
GA: I Think
AA: analysis suggests 95% chance 0f a lie
GA: How Did You Calculate That
AA: i did n0t
AA: i pulled it 0ut 0f my usb-p0rt
AA: s0 t0 speak
GA: Ah
GA: But
GA: It Would Explain A Lot
AG: (dodged a 8ullet there Pyrope........ thanks)
GC: (YOU’R3 W3LCOM3. 1 JUST W4NT TO S33 HOW TH1S’LL B4CKF1R3 >;])
AG: (wh8t!?)
AT: aND SHE CONVENIENTLY PICKS UP THAT CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE cULLENS.
AT: tHEM, wELL, OBVIOUSLY BEING SUPERBEINGS, sHOULDN’T THEY PICK UP ON HER PRESSENCE?
AT: wHISPER PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS SUPER QUIETLY, mAKING THE USE OF THEIR SUPERHEARING?
AT: aNYTHING TO NOT SUGGEST ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY?
TA: nop, let2 ju2t have thii2 conver2atiion a2 loudly a2 po22iible iin the miiddle of a hallway.
GC: 4ND 4CT 1NCR3D1BLY SUSP1C1OUS
AG: Oh gods this dialogue……..
AG: “well no8oby’s going to 8elieve you.”
AG: “I wasn’t going to tell any8ody….. I just need to know……the truth.”
AG: “can’t you just thank me and get over it? I need to stay on the down-low but I just like acting like a suspicious asshole!”
CT: D--> I am confused.
CT: D--> What is this ‘prom’ the bland human speaks off?
AA: a f0rmal event
AA: in human cust0m it might be used t0 express r0mantic interest 0r s0lidify existing matespriteship
AA: failing t0 s0lidify existing matespriteship 0n this event is c0nsidered a s0cial faux pas
CT: D--> that sounds reasonable.
CT: D--> formal events are a important part of the higher social classes. Bella sh001d be honored to be considered at all.
TA: aa how the fuck do you know that 2hiit.
AA: i was watching the remaining disney m0vies when y0u were watching ‘pirates 0f the caribbean’
TA: all of them??
AA: all 0f them
AG: Sweat8alls here makes a good point. Why would ANYONE in their right minds invite 8ella?
GA: She Is An Attractive Young Woman
CA: not really
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE’S GORGEOUS!
AC: :33< well…. I suppaws she looks good.
AC: :33< do you like girls like that Karkat?
CG: I MEAN ER….. SHE LOOKS GOOD FOR A RETARDED PINK PRIMITIVE.
AT: i UHM, dON’T SEE IT?
GC: SH3 LOOKS OK
GC: NOT MUCH SP3C14L BUT NOTH1NG WRONG W1TH H3R 31TH3R
CC: S)(E CAN DO SO MUC)( BETTA T)(EN T)(AT GUY!
AG: COME ON!!!!!!!!
TC: CoMe On GuYs, Ya DoN’t JuDgE a PeRsOn On ThEiR aPpEaRaNcE.
TA: priivate conver2atiion iin the miidle of a large group. Not 2ure whether ii 2hould blame the wriiter or the diirector for that faiilure iin logiic.
GC: BL4M3 TH3 4CTORS
GC: 1 C4N 34S1LY FORG1V3 STUP1D1TY 1F GOOD 4CTORS S3LL 1T TO M3
CA: but that can be led back to the actin coach and the director again
AT: aLSO eDWARD COMES WITH AN EXCUSE ON HOW HE COULD HAVE SAVED bELLA,,,, wHO DOESN’T SEEM TO BELIEVE HIM FOR A SECOND, sO IT’S KINDA MEANINGLESS,
AG: How do you make a rainbowdrinkermovie THIS FUCKING 8ORING!!!!!!!!
AG: No killing, no neck 8iting, no seducing of virgin maidens, no cool settings…..
CA: it’s like they took evverythin interestin about rainbowwdrinkers and removved it
GC: 4LSO, SOM3HOW B3LL4 D1TCH1NG TH4T GUY WORK3D OUT P3RF3CTLY FOR 3V3RYON3 1NVOLV3D, C4US3 W3 4LL KNOW WH4T 4 SOC14L S4V4NT B3LL4 1S.
CG: OK, SO I REALLY ENJOY THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN BELLA AND EDWARD HERE. IT SHOWS VAGUE HINTS OF A RIVALRY, OR THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ONE, WHILE EDWARD STILL MANAGES TO MAKE BELLA INCREDIBLY CURIOUS TO HIS TRUE NATURE.
AC: :33< so is he really a rainbowdrinker like you said?
CG: OH FUCK YEAH. I WONT SPOIL IT, BUT THE REVEAL MIGHT BE ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS IN CINEMA, PERIOD.
GA: This Does Give Me Some Clarity
GA: I Had Long Suspected Human Relationships Were Founded In A Form Of Rivalry To Spark Interest And This Movie Seems To Confirm This Theory
CG: YOU ARE CURIOUS ABOUT HOW HUMANS START THEIR RELATIONSHIPS……..
GA: Well
GA: Er
GA: Should I Not Be
CG: PLEASE TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE THE HOTS FOR THAT LALONDE HUMAN……
AC: :33< Oh my gosh! That would be so cute!!!
CG: NEPETA NO. DON’T ENCOURAGE HER. WE MUST SHUN SUCH BEHAVIOR AND ACTIVELY SHAME HER FOR HER VILE ATTRACTION TO THE PINK MONKEY.
CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB W)(ALE I THINK IT’S WONDERFUL!
CC: CRABKAT, W)(AT DID YOU SAY ABOUT LOVING BEAC)(OT)(ER DESPITE DIFFRENCES?
CG: ARGLEBARGLE!!!
GA: I Apreciate It
GA: Honestly
GA: But I Have A Lot To Figure Out Regarding This
GA: Please Redirect Your Interests Towards The Movie
CT: D--> so…… what do you think of the movie aradia?
AA: ribbit
TC: ShIiIiIiIt BrO……. iT sTiLl GoInG?
CT: D--> er…..
CT: D--> yes highb100d.
TC: AaAw MaN….. I’m KiNdA zOnInG oUt.
TC: dId AnYtHiNg HaPpEn?
CT: D--> nothing of significance….. highb100d.
CT: D--> merely some minor interactions between the leads
TC: AlRiGhT tHeN, sOuNdS mOtHeRfUcKiNg GrEaT.
GC: YOU KNOW…… 1F TH1S W4S 4 F4M1LY DR4M4 TOLD FROM TH3 P3RSP3CT1V3 OF TH3 F4TH3RLUSUS…… 1’D PROB4BLY B3 COOL W1TH 1T
GC: H3 CL34RLY ST1LL M1SS3S H1S 3X-M4T3SPR1T3, 1S TRY1NG TO M41NT41N 4 GOOD R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH H1S SP4WN 4ND WORKS 4S CH13F OF TH3 HUM4N L4W-3NFORC3M3NT
GC: TH3 DR4M4 B4S1CALLY WR1T3S 1TS3LF
CG: YEAH, SO WHAT’S YOUR POINT?
GC: TH3 MOV13 CL34RLY W4NTS M3 TO SYMP4TH1Z3 W1TH B3LL4, BUT 1 JUST F33L B4D FOR TH3 F4TH3RLUSUS B3C4US3 SH3 DO3SN’T S33M TO G1V3 4 CR4P 4BOUT H1M
CG: WELL, HE JUST DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HER!
GC: W3LL 4T L34ST H3’S TRY1NG. B3LL4 H4RDLY S33MS TO 4CKNOWL3DG3 H1S 3X1ST3NC3!
AG: socially inept 8ella playing matchmaker.
CA: AGAIN!
TC: NaH bRo, HeR fRiEnD rEaLlY iS a StRoNg InDePeNdEnT WoMaN lIkE sHe SaId.
TA: really? you know thii2 becau2 of…….. the le22 than 22 2econd2 of 2creen tiime 2he’2 had?
CA: more characters to say their one fuckin line and disappear.
CG: IF YOU COULD STOP FOCUSSING ON THE BAD AND OPEN YOUR EYES TO ALL THE FUCKING GOOD IN THIS MOVIE?
GC: SUCH 4S?
AC: :33< well….. there is subtle foreshadowing about, what is think is the human version of shadowdroppurrs?
TA: a2 subtle a2 a punch iin the face.
GA: The Scenery Can Be Breathtaking At Times
GC: WH1CH WOULD B3 GR34T 1F TH3Y’D R3MOV3 TH3 DR34RY F1LT3R FROM TH3 C4M3R4.
CC: T)(e acting is good?
AG: Is it really????????
AG: Cause it looks really flimsy to me.
GA: I Wonder Vriska
GA: As A Aficionado Of Theatre How Would You Suggest These People Perform
AG: Oh, that’s really simple.
AG: For one; stop having 8ella walk around with her mouth half-open. SHE LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT!
AG: Step two; show some emotion! Make her stop walking around with a blank stare.
GC: (4ND R3MOV3 TH3 F1LT3R)
AG: And for fuck’s sake, remove the filter so the movie can show another color then foggy 8lue!!!!!!!!
GA: Hmmm
GA: I Shall Admit These Are Indeed Easily Rectifiable Mistakes
GA: However They Do Not Diminish My Enjoyment Of The Movie
TC: HaHaHa, pReAcH iT sIs! DoN’t LeT aNyOnE rUiN yOuR lItTlE mIrAcLe.
At: AAAAAAAND HE’S DEAD,
AT: THAT PRETTY MUCH WENT AS EXPECTED, I THINK,
CG: ITS SYMBOLIC ASSHOLE
CT: D--> how?
CG: THIS IS THE MAN WHO PLAYED A JOLLY OLD FAIRY WHEN SHE WAS A WRIGGLER. HIS DEATH SYMBOLISES THE CLOSURE OF THAT CHAPTER OF HER LIFE.
CG: SHE IS NO LONGER A WRIGGLER AND HAS TO GROW UP.
CT: D--> so he died because Bella needs to grow up……
CG: I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.
TA: make2 perfect 2en2e. let2 2earch for iinformatiion onliine……. To fiind a book to tell me more.
TA: ii don’t thiink 2he under2tand2 how the iinternet work2..
GA: Perhaps She Prefers Analogue Research
GA: I Know I Do
CC: O)( NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
AT: wHAT?
CC: T)(EY ARE GOING TO…. GOING TO…..
AG: Violate her, yes.
GA: That Is Horrible
AC: :33< I can’t watch!
CT: D--> Vantas! You promised by moirail w001d not be subjected to any 100d material!
AG: I kiiiiiiiinda expected that to 8e the vampire’s jo8, 8ut 8eggar’s can’t 8e choosers I guess……..
AC: :33< i don’t think I want to s33 your browsing history vwiskers.
AA: y0u d0nt
AG: WHAT!? MEGIDO YOU SNEAKY WENCH!!!
TA: niice.
TC: WoAh ThAt MoThErFuCkEr HaS sOmE cRaZy EyEs.
TC: NeVeR mEsS wItH tHe MoThErFuCkErS wItH cRaZy EyEs.
CA: ok no
TC: StOp FuCkInG sPrAyInG mE bRo.
TC: ItS sUcH a InCoNvEnIeNt FuCkInG hAsSlE.
CA: no matter howw crazy the eyes, you don’t intimidate 5 half drunken rapist assholes just by lookin at them
AT: aLSO NOTE, tHIS IS THE SECOND TIME eDWARD HAD TO SAVE HER.
AG: Ok, normally I am aaaaaaaall for more, 8t it is just weeeeeeeeird when Edward starts channeling Mr Cage.
AG: I can’t tell whether he’s laughing or crying.
GC: 4LSO, S4V3 B3LL4 FROM R4P1STS 4ND 4LMOST K1LL H3R WH1L3 DR1V1NG
CC: )(e is just )(ig)(ly emotional from almost )(aving to KRILL t)(ose rapists!!!
TA: but he diidn’t do 2hiit. 2o 2ome other la22 down on her luck wiill probably meet tho2e fucker2 2oon.
CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB, W)(AT WOULD YOU HAVE DON---E?
TA: duh, optiic bla2t.
CC: But t)(en the person you were protecting would fin out you have optiic bla2t2.
TA: ii’m cool wiith that.
CC: Missing the point……
GC: 4LSO 3DW4RD 1S 4 M1NDR34D3R BUT C4N’T R34D B3LL4
CA: that’s cause she has nothin goin on up there
GC: 1T 4CTU4LLY SOUNDS L1K3 4NOTH3R CONTR1V4NC3
AT: iSN’T IT KIND OF UHM, RISKY TO ADD A MINDREADING ABILITY TO THE PLOT?
GA: Why Would It Be Risky
AT: wELL, TECHNICALLY HE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO LOSE A FIGHT, aN ARGUMENT OR ANYTHING ELSE EVER BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT EVERYONE IS THINKING AND GOING TO DO,
TA: ye2 but that ii2 a22umiing the moviie operate2 on ba2iic logiic.
TA: al2o ii am not 2ure gho2t2 have many thought2; Edward de2criibed them all iin one viice; the thiing that keep2 them iin the realm of the liiviing.
CG: …………YOU’RE A DICK.
GC: OH NO……. TH3 P3RSON W3 S4W G3T K1LL3D H4S B33N K1LL3D
GC: MY 1NV3STM3NT 1N H1S CH4R4CT3R W4S SO H1GH
GC: L1K3 TH1S 1F YOU CRY 3V3RY T1M3
AC: :33< S33? Bella DOES care about her pawther lusus!
GA: Indeed She Does Nepeta
GA: And He Really Does Steal The Scene With An Appropriate Miserable Air Around Him
AC: :33< it’s catually really nice that they kept it a quiet scene. It makes it f33l more intimate.
GA: I Completely Agree
AC: :33< Say Kanaya?
GA: Yes
GA: Questionmark
AC: :33< You are good with that…..appearance stuff right?
GA: I Suppose I Am
AC: :33< Do you have any advice on how to er….. grow my hair out?
GA: You Desire A Longer Mane
GA: That Was A Catpun Correct?
AC: :33< H33h33, yes :))
GA: Why Do You Want To Let Your Hair Grow Longer
AC: :33< Well….. I uhm….. just want something diffurent I guess?
AC: :33< ……. Yeah, something diffurent. You understand right?
GA: I Think I Do
GA: You Just Have To Be Patient And Periodically Cut It To Make Sure It Grows Evenly
GA: I Am Perfectly Willing To Assist In This Matter
GA: Also
GA: I Recommend Using Some Hygienic Products To Make Sure It Stays Clean, Soft And Shiny
AC: :33< 33333333 Thank you so much Kanaya.
TA: conveniient re2earch contiinue2.
CA: ironically the shit she’s lookin at seems a lot more interestin than the actual movvie
CG: AND THERE WE HAVE IT. EDWARD IS A VAMPIRE, THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A RAINBOWDRINKER.
CC: O)( wauw this scene is B-------EAUTIFUL!
GA: I Am Really Impressed
AA: ribbit
GC: Y3S TH1S COULD B3 4 GOOD SC3N3
GC: 1F TH3 D14LOGU3 H4DN’T B33N WR1TT3N BY 4 TW3LV3 Y34R OLD
CA: if Bella had a REASON to be so invvolvved wwith a guy wwho flat-out admits he wwants to kill her
AT: iF THE CAMERA COULD DECIDE ON A POSITION,
CC: O)( you guys just HAT---E EVERYFIN!
CC: Can’t you say ANYFIN NIC----E?
GC: W3LL, TH1S 1S TH3 ON3 SC3N3 WH3R3 1 F33L TH3 F1LT3R 4DDS TO TH3 4TMOSPH3R3, R4TH3R TH3N D1STR4CT1NG M3….. SO TH3R3’S TH4T?
CC: W)(ale, it’s somefin.
TA: really moviie?
TA: you diidn’t faiil enough?
CG: IT’S A MODERN INTERPRETATION YOU FOOL!
TC: WoAh BrOtHeR
TC: ThAt ShIt iS bEaUtIfUl. ItS aLmOsT lIkE--
TC: AaAaAaAh FiShBrO, wHat GiVeS. tHiS iS mY bEsT sHiRt.
CA: it is your only shirt gam
CA: you were goin to say somethin stupid
TC: No I wAsN’t
CA: oh yes you wwere
GC: TH3R3 1S NO R34SON 4 R41NBOWDR1NK3R SHOULD SP4RKL3
CT: D--> this is……… incredibly dumb
GA: I Have No Objection To This Representation
GA: I Understand There Are Cultural Differences At Play
GA: I Am Curious However What Made Them Go With This Kind Of Reaction To Sunlight
CA: terrible terrible writin I assume
CA: you need to havve zero self-awwareness if you call a pretty sparkly skin “the skin of a killer”
AC: :33< I don’t think it’s that bad.
AC: :33< diamonds are purrety hard right? so doesn’t this means he’s invulnerable?
CC: Glub. And it DOES look REELLY COOL!
TA: ff, ii am 2o que2tiioniing your judgment here.
AG: Oh for god’s sake........ EMOTE!!!!!!!!!
AG: You FINALLY got over yourselves to 8e together, NOW ACT LIKE YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!
CG: THEY ARE CONTENT IN THEIR DREAMY SILENCE, GETTING LOST IN EACH OTHER’S EYES.
CG: WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE HAPPY WITH THESE SMALL GESTURES?
CA: because there’s nothin goin on betwween them
CA: no reason to be together other then bella lookin for a cheap thrill
GA: Actually I Think This Scene Is Beautifully Shot
GA: It Really Shows The Silent Bliss These Characters Are In
AC: :33< hmm I would have purrfurred them to be a bit more pawssionate about it.
AC: :33< that and I was already shipping her with that camera guy…….
AC: :33< but if they are happy I suppaws its al good.
CT: D--> I understand you derive pleasure from your more frivolous hobby Nepeta.
CT: D--> But please refrain from mentioning shipping in the chat.
AC: :33< h33h33, don’t worry equius. I won’t ship you.
AC: :33< today.
CT: D--> Una%eptable. You shan’t ship you.
AC: :33< No I shan….. er, shall!
AG: Closest they’ll get to laughing all movie.
AT: hOLD UP, lOOK AT THE TOP OF THEIR HEADS,
AT: tHIS WAS CLEARLY SHOT WHEN THE SUN WAS SHINING,
GC: W3LL DUH. WH4T HUM4N TOWN 1S P3RM4N3NTLY BLU31SH GR3Y >:[
TA: 2o ba2iically he 2hould be 2parkliing now.
CG: WELL, IN THE STORY THE TOWN IS JUST REALLY FUCKING FOGGY.
CA: all day every day
CA: convvenient
AA: if y0u were t0 suspend y0ur disbelief it is acceptable
AA: ribbit
GC: TH3R3 4R3 TOO M4NY D1STR4CT1NG F4CTORS FOR M3 TO PROP3RLY SUSP3ND 4NY D1SB3L13F
AA: i kn0w
GC: W3LL WH4T DO YOU TH1NK OF TH3 MOV13 4R4D14?
AA: it sure is a c0llecti0n of rapid m0ving images to create the illusi0n 0f fluid m0ti0n
GC: YOU’R3 SO W31RD
AA: i kn0w
GC: 1 LOV3 1T
CA: so there is a vvampire doctor wwho has to surpress his bloodlust to not attack his patients
CA: he struggles wwith this basic instinct wwith evvery patient and can offer them immortality on their deathbed knowwing it wwill turn them into a monster like him
CA: and wwe are wwatching a movvie about bella an edwward
CA: wwhy
AG: Why yeeeeeeees Edward. I would loooooooove to see a dungeon, a castle, coffins and moots.
AG: IT WOULD 8E SOMETHING VISUALLY INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!
AC: :33< but they live in such a cute little house
GA: I Agree
GA: It Is Very Modern
CT: D--> This structure is very impractical from a rainbowdrinker’s perspective
CC: )(ow so?
CT: D--> The only way to identify these creatures appears to be by putting them in the sunlight
CT: D--> To preserve their way of life they logically want to avoid being recognized as vampires
CT: D--> So why they w001d live in a building with huge windows where they can easily catch sunlight is a mystery to me
CC: To be fair, t)(ey live removed from t)(e )(umans and in t)(e forest
TA: 2tiill, iit 2eem2 liike they are temptiing fate by liiviing iin a gla22 cage liike that.
GC: 4WKW4RD V4MP1R3 S1TCOM
CA: oh great, so noww wwe have a clairvoyant vvampire
CA: did vvampires and or rainbowwdrinkers havve any of these powwers?
GA: Actually They Did Depending On What Story You Read
GA: Rainbowdrinkers Could Exhibit A Wide Variety Of Powers Including Clairvoyance Mind-Reading Enhanced Speed And Strength
GA: Some Even Had Power Over The Elements Or Animals
GA: All Kinds Of Sorcery
TC: MaN tHaT sOuNdS aWeSoMe
TA: kiinda overpowered
GA: They Are Supposed To Be
AT: sTILL, bRINGING CLAIRVOYANCE TO THE PLOT IS ALSO DIFFICULT,
AT: tHEY HAVE NO EXCUSE GETTING IN ANY FORM OF CONFLICT BECAUSE THEY CAN ANTICIPATE ON IT HAPPENING,
CG: WEREN’T YOU PAYING ATTENTION DIPSHIT, SHE CAN ONLY SEE ONE OF MANY POSSIBLE FUTURES DEPENDING ON THE CHOISES PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TAKE.
GC: SO SH3’S B4S1C4LLY TH3 WORST PSYCH1C 3V3R
AA: i w0nder if this is what w0uld have happened had i been a seer instead of a maid
TA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CA: PHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AT: aHAHAHAHAEHEHE
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
AC: :33< this isn’t meant to be funny guys :((
CG: TEREZI STOP ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR, YOU EMBARASS YOURSELF.
GC: TH3Y…..THEY H4H4H4H4H4H4
CT: D--> I can see why this w001d be considered…..humorous
AC: :33< but it isn’t!
AG: Oh god! I can’t take this!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
CA: too much!! Oh cod howw hahahahahaha!!
TA: 2ome poor 2chmuck actually got paiid to wriite that…….
AT: sOME POOR SCHMUCK ACTUALLY GOT PAID TO SAY THAT STUFF ON FILM,
CG: YOU PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE.
AG: “Hold on tight Spidermonkey”
GC: *SWOOOOOON*
AG: hahahahahahahaha
GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4
GC: OH GOD….. THAT SUPERSPEED EFFECT IS HORR1BL3 H4H4H4H4H4H4
CA: hahah…..aaaah……..it looks so fuckin stupid hahahahaha
GA: I Suggest We Do Not Invite Them If We Intend To Watch The Sequel
CC: AGR---E—ED
TC: LoOk At ThAt ShIt. BeLlA aNd HeR pApA lUsUs ArE bEiNg AlL bUdDy bUdDy AnD sHiT
TC: AiNt ThAt BeAuTiFuL
GA: I Suppose A Successful Matespriteship Would Be A Good Influence On Anyones Mood
AG: well, you have 8een a 8it stingy lately fussyfangs……..
GA: Have I Now
AG: Yeah, peeeeeeeerhaps we should focus our efforts LESS on this shitty movie and more on finding you a matesprite.
AG: What a8out Karkat?
GA: What
CG: WHAT?!
AC: :33< what?
GC: WH4T?
AG: Something I said?
GA: I Do Not Think We Make A Compatible Couple
GA: No Offense Karkat
CG: NONE TAKEN
GA: And I Do Not Feel Like Discussing This In Public
AG: 8luh, fine.
AG: You and Nepeta would 8e totally hot though……..
GA: Vriska
GA: Quiet
CT: D--> er…… is that right?
TA: he 2aiid what!?
AA: “i like t0 watch y0u sleep.” –end quote
AA: he als0 c0nfessed he had been d0ing that f0r a l0ng time
TA: ii heard what he 2aiid, ii ju2t couldn’t beliieve iit.
CA: I swwear noww he is just tryin to get on my tits
AG: If I’D watch someone sleep like that I’d 8e CULLED 8efore I could get off!!!!!!!!
GA: I
GA: Ok I Have No Defense For This
TC: Is ThIs FoR rEaL bRo?
TC: ArE yOu SeEiNg ThIs ToO?
TA: ok….. 2tupiid a2 thii2 ii2, ii kiinda relate to thii2.
GA: You Lost Me
TA: iif ii 2uddenly had 2uperpower2 beyond my p2iioniic2 my fiir2t iin2tiinct would be to abu2e them doiing 2omethiing iincrediibly 2iilly.
TA: what good are eyelazer2 iif you can’t u2e them to 2tart a barbeque?
TC: HaHaHaHa, pReAcH iT
CC: I t)(ink it’s funny )(ow t)(ey use t)(eir superstrengt)(
CC: I imagine us playing this ballgame wit)( me or Equius will be just as EXCITING!
CT: D--> er…..I think we w001d shatter those wooden bats with our first hit.
CT: D--> however, permit me to create a custom bat and we shall play
AC: :33< Yay, that sounds like fun!
CG: LETS NOT ALRIGHT? JUST TO BE SAFE?
AT: bOY, tHEIR PSYCHIC IS PRETTY GOOD,
AT: sHE TIMES HER PITCHES TO THE THUNDER, tHAT TAKES SOME UHM, iNSANE TIMING,
GC: Y3T SH3 COMPL3T3LY F41LS TO SPOT TH3 THR33 OBV1OUSLY 3V1L V4MP1R3S 4PPRO4CH1NG
GC: WORST PSYCH1C 3V3R
AG: Ok, NOW we’re getting somewhere!!!!!!!!
AG: Clan vs clan, super8eing vs super8eing. An eye for an eye.
CA: ok this technically makes for three times bella had to be savved
CA: is anyone else keeping count
CC: T)(ank god Carlisle can negotiate a peaceful resolution. It would )(ave been very messea otterwise.
CG: YES, CARLISLE IS THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE CULLEN FAMILY, A SAGE AND PHILOSOPHER.
AG: Noooooooo…….. They present a golden opportunity and yank it away from meeeeeeee
AA: ribbit
AG: This could have 8een the one saving grace of the movie……..
GA: Vriska If You Would Stop Nitpicking You Would Find Plenty To Enjoy
GC: F4LS3
GC: TH3 ONLY TH1NG FUN 4BOUT TH3 MOV13 1S HOW H4RD 1T F41LS
AC: :33< Oh no! the evil vampires will hunt her now!
TA: …..why not cut of the car and kiill her when 2he’2 alone wiith edward?
CC: Because )(e enjoys the krill of the )(unt.
CA: aren’t there vvampire lawws about this
CA: these guy wwould challenge an entire clan to get their hands on one human wwhile there is a towwn full of them wwithout the defense of a clan
TC: aAaAaAaAaAwWwW tHaT cHiCa Is GeTtInG wAy ToO hArSh On HeR fAtHeRlUsUs.
TC: SeRiOuSlY, sHiT iS dOwNrIgHt HuRtFuLl FoR tHe GuY.
CC: It It just isn’t FAIR!!!!
CA: fef?
CC: S)(e’s doing it for )(IS SAFETY SO W)(Y IS T)(IS SO SAD!!!!
CC: sniff
TA: oh god……really?
GC: TH3R3 W3R3 SO M4NY W4YS TO H4NDL3 TH1S S1TU4T1ON B3TTER…….
GC: R34LLY, B3LL4 1S 4 B1TCH
CG: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
CG: SHE’S MAKING A HUGE SACRIFICE TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY! YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HER OUT ON THAT.
GC: OBJ3CT1ON
GC: TH3 CULL3NS 4LR34DY S41D TH3Y’D PROT3CT TH3M
GC: TH3R3 1S NO R34SON FOR H3R TO 4CT L1K3 TH1S
GA: Be That As It May
GA: I Do Think The Actor Who Plays The Father Is Wonderful In This Scene
GA: He Really Sounds Like A Lusus Afraid To Lose Its Charge
GA: Possibly Forever
AC: :33< I know! I feel so sad fur him.
AC: :33< If only Bella could tell him….. :((
CA: alright I admit
CA: he is the ONLY fuckin actor in this flick I can sympathize wwith
TA: “hello, ii am here to giive expo2iitiion about the hunter vampiire and dii2appear for the re2t of the moviie.”
GC: PL34S3 R3M3MB3R H3 JUST ST4T3D J4M3S 1S 4 V4MP1R3 UNL1K3 4NYTH1NG TH3 D4RK SK1NN3D V4MP1R3 H4D S33N 1N H1S THR33HUNDR3D HUM4N Y34RS
GC: B3C4US3 1 TH1NK TH3 MOV13 1S GO1NG TO FORG3T
AC: :33< oh that bitch!
CT: D--> Nepeta!
AC: :33< I am sorry, but she would just leave Bella to die and it makes me angry!
CT: D--> Shoosh Nepeta
AC: :33< I just don’t get how anyone can be that selfish. It’s the matespurrite of her brother.
AC: :33< At least, I think he’s her brother….. I am not furry good in human families.
AT: wELL, IT ENDANGERS THEIR ENTIRE CLAN,
AT: tHEY’VE ONLY KNOWN bELLA FOR A SHORT TIME AND BARELY TRUST HER WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THERE ARE VAMPIRES TO BEGIN WITH,
AG: Honestly, she has the right idea.
AG: Would you risk your entiiiiiiiire clan for a person you 8arely know and might just end up damaging your clan further just 8ecause someone has flushed feelings for her????????
AC: :33< But…..But that’s such a difficult decision.
GA: It Is Exactly The Conundrum She Is Presented With
AC: :33< ……… No, I would still help her. It wouldn’t be right to let her die like that.
CG: AND THAT’S WHY YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON THEN THE SPIDERBITCH.
AG: 8ah
CT: D--> She still looks so incredibly graceful…..
TC: ShIt BrO, wHaT aBoUt ThE cHoIcE cUtIe NeXt To HeR?
CT: D--> Er……. The quiet sickly looking kid?
TC: YeAh.
TC: He LoOkS wIcKeD cUtE.
CT: D--> …..who am I to question your e%cuisite tastes highblood.
CT: D--> however, I feel obliged to inform you that sharing genetic material with this weak specimen will result in weak descendants.
TC: ErR wHaT?
CT: D--> He is not fit to be a proper mate for one such as yourself.
TC: I dOn’T fOlLoW bRo. I jUsT sAiD hE lOoKeD cUtE.
CT: D--> hnrk…. Of course. One so noble as yourself doesn’t fi%ate on such…..100d thoughts. I apologize.
TC: Is AlL cOoL
GC: OK, HOW COM3 TH3 PSYCH1C D1DN’T S33 TH4T COM1NG? SH3 W4S JUST TH3R3, SH3 COULD H4V3 W4RN3D B3LL4
GA: Well Perhaps She Saw It Would All Work Out In The End
GC: TH3N SH3 COULD 4T L34ST G1V3 B3LL4 SOM3 1NFORM4T1ON >:[
AA: that w0uld disrupt the timeline
GC: WOULD 1T?
AA: yes
GC: W3LL D4MN1T
CG: HA! SUCKS DOESN’T IT? HAVING FACTS WORK AGAINST YOU AND YOUR IRATIONAL HATE!
GC: B3L13V3 M3, MY H4T3 1S COMPL3T3LY JUST1F13D
CA: and noww vvampires havve reflections
CA: fuck it, I’m so done wwith this movvie
TA: iit won’t be much longer now.
AG: Worst. Wirework. Ever.
CC: Y-----ES!!!
CC: EDWARD TO T)(E RESCUE!
CA: you ok fef?
CC: I CAN’T KELP IT, )(E’S SO )(OT
AG: Noooooooo he really isn’t……..
AT: ,,,,,tHAT ENTRANCE WAS HORRIBLY SHOT
AT: yOU COULD BARELY TELL WHAT WAS GOING ON,
CG: WELL NEITHER CAN BELLA, YOU DON’T HEAR HER BITCHING ABOUT IT.
AT: i,
AT: i DON’T THINK THAT IS A GOOD ARGUMENT kARKAT,
GC: NOOOOOOO
GC: NOW SH3 C4N N3V3R G3T V4MP1R3 M4RR13D.
AG: Ooooooooh noooooooo……..
AG: You are NOT doing this movie!
AG: YOU ARE N8T KILLING OF YOUR ANT8GONIST OFF-SCREEN!!!!!!!!
AT: wASN’T jAMES LIKE, a ONCE-EVERY-THREEHUNDRED-YEARS-VAMPIRE?
AT: wHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT?
TC: AaAaAw It AiNt ThAt BaD
AG: 8UT IT IS!!!!!!!!
GC: HOW L4M3 C4N YOU G3T
CC: BUT B---ELLA )(AS BEEN BITTEN. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
CG: YES, I LOVE THIS SCENE. THE INNER CONFLICT OF EDWARD, THE STRUGGLE BETWEEN THE PREDATOR INSIDE AND HIS LOVE FOR BELLA.
AC: :33< She’ll live right?
TA: nop. 2he’ll joiin the re2t of the undead town2folk.
AA: ribbit
CG: KEEP WATCHING THE MOVIE DIPSHIT.
CT: D--> Vantas……
CG: TALKING ABOUT SOLLUX, NOT NEPETA.
GA: We Did See A Quick Shot Of Alice Snapping The Neck Of James
CT: D--> So……. STRONG
CA: you knoww in the time it takes for them to discuss this she should havve turned into a vvampire twwice already
TA: but no, everythiing turn2 out perfectly fiine
TA: bella learned nothiing, accomplii2hed nothiing and hopefully wiill return to the hole 2he crawled out off and return to nothiing.
CT: D--> so she can finally go to the human prom
GC: C4US3 TH4T W4S 1ND33D TH3 FOCUS OF TH3 MOV13
AG: FINALLY WE’RE DONE!!!!!!!!
GC: ROLL TH3 CR3D1TS!
AC: :33< Are they going to be ok?
CG: YES. THEY’LL GET HUMAN MARRIED IN THE SEQUELS.
GC: L3TS NOT T4LK 4BOUT S3QU3LS Y3T, PL34S3
CG: FINE. ANYONE WHO LIKED THE MOVIE, SPEAK UP.
AC: :33< Well I loved it :))
AC: :33< The intercation between Edward and Bella was beautiful.
AC: :33< Even if the dialogue was a bit iffy at some points…..
GA: I Adored The Movie As Well
GA: The Modern Interpretation Of Rainbowdrinkers Was Refreshing And Some Of The Shots Were Absolutely Breathtaking
CC: IT WAS BEAUTIFUL CRABCATC)(!!!!
CC: I LOV------ED IT.
CC: B-----ELLA AND EDWARD ARE ADORABUBBLE AS A COUPLE, AND EDWARD IS SO HOT!
CG: ALRIGHT THEN, MOVIE’S OVER, EVERYONE GET OUT
GC: HOLD 1T!
GC: DON’T W3 G3T 4 S4Y?
CG: NO!
GC: W3LL TOO B4D
GC: 1 R34LLY D1DN’T L1K3 TH3 MOV13
AG: ME NEITH8R!!!!!!!!
CA: didn’t like it either
TA: terriible moviie..
AT: i UHM, cOULDN’T ENJOY IT,
GC: TH3 PLOT W4S NON-3X1ST4NT
CG: YES…..
AG: The characters were unlikea8le
CG: I GET IT.
CA: there wwere so many pointless characters and plotlines that go nowwhere
CG: SHUT UP.
TA: iit wa2 siimply boring. the only thiing iintere2tiing wa2 2eeiing on how many level2 thii2 moviie would faiil.
GC: TH3R3 W4S 4 HUG3 L4CK OF COLOR
AT: iT UHM, rEALLY JUST WASN’T VERY GOOD
TA: whatever happened to the friiend2 bella made at the beginning?
TA: the moviie completely forgot about them.
AT: iT PRESENTED IDEAS OR SCENARIOUS THAT WOULD HAVE MADE FOR A MUCH BETTER STORY, bUT EITHER GLANCED OVER THEM, sHUNNED THEM OR EVEN ACTIVLY MOCKED THEM,
CA: honestly there’s so many flawws in the movvie it’s difficult to pinpoint evverythin wwrong
CG: OK FINE, SO YOU HATED THE MOVIE’S GUTS.
CA: dont take it personally kar
GC: 1TS 4LMOST 1N TH3 SO-B4D-1TS-GOOD C4T3GORY BUT F4LLS JUST SHORT OF B31NG 4MUS1NG 4ND R1GHT 1NTO BOR1NG
CG: WELL AIN’T THAT JUST TERRIFIC.
CG: ARADIA, GAMZEE, EQUIUS, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD?
TC: ShIt BrO, i CoNsIdEr EvErY mOvIe EqUaLlY gOoD
TC: eAcH oNe SpEcIaL aNd BeAuTiFuLl In ThEiR oWn WaY
TC: ItS lIkE…..
TC: Eh……….
TC: yOu KnOw I sEe YoU hOldIiNg ThE sPrAy LiKe ThAt ErIbRo?
CA: just a precaution
CA: you wwere sayin
TC: YeAh, I aInT oNe To JuDgE fIsHbRo
CA: improvements wwere made today
CA: I’ll alchemize you a soda later gam
TC: sHiT bRo, ThAt WoUlD bE sWeLl
CA: positivve reinforcement is part of the deal as wwell
AA: i am unaffected by the m0vie
TA: really aa? not even a liittle biit angry?
AA: it did n0t ev0ke any em0ti0n like “Peter Pan” did
AA: the m0vie just is
CT: D--> I agree with Aradia.
CT: D--> I do not feel compelled to criticize it, though I do recognize it is very obviously flawed.
AC: :33< You just don’t recognize good romantic movies!
CT: D--> yes I do.
AC: :33< no you don’t!
CT: D--> yes, I do.
AC: :33< No, no, no no!
CG: SO, I THINK EVERYBODY GOT THEIR SAY NOW.
CG: I’M GONNA POP IN THE SECOND TWILIGHT MOVIE. IN WHICH JACOB TURNS OUT TO BE A HUMAN VARIANT SHADOWDROPPER.
CG: I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT IT.
--apacolypsArisen [AA] left memo--
--adiosToreador [AT] left memo--
--twinArmageddons [AT] left memo--
--gallowsCalibrator [GC] left memo--
--arachnidsGrip [AG] left memo--
--centaursTecticle [CT] left memo--
--caligulasAquarium [CA] left memo--
CG: WELL…….
CG: GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE I SUPPOSE.
GA: Karkat
GA: If You Do Not Mind I Shall Introduce Nepeta To The Art Of Hairdressing Before You Begin The Second Film
AC: :33< This soon?
GA: You Wish To Look Good For
GA: Er
GA: The Movie Right
AC: :33< Oh…. H33h33, yes, that’s true.
AC: :33< We’ll be right back karkitty.
CG: SURE. 30 MINUTE BREAK, THEN THE NEXT MOVIE STARTS.
CG: SEE YOU THEN.
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] closed memo--
In the not to distant future
(”OH FUCK, SHE’S HOT!”)