Work Text:
--ectoBiologist [EB]created memo; Let’s go to Disneyland--
--ectoBiologist [EB] invited turntechGodhead [TG] to memo--
--ectoBiologist [EB] invited tentacleTherapist [TT] to memo--
--ectoBiologist [EB] invited gardenGnostic [GG] to memo--
EB: alright, is everyone ready?
TG: yeah man
TG: what’s more ironic then watching a shitty disney movie for girls with my best bro
TT: I see the definition of irony still eludes you.
GG: rose!! what movie did you pick???
TT: Hunchback of the Notre Dame. Have you heard of it?
GG: hmmmm no, I don’t think I have.
TT: Then you are in for a treat.
EB: I vaguely remember seeing it as a kid, but I really don’t remember a thing about it.
EB: dave, have you seen this one before?
TG: fuck no
TG: ironic rapping rooftop ninja
TG: i have standards
GG: you told me you watched all the disney princes movies :(
TG: it’s part of the irony deal
TG: but there are no princesses in this flick
TG: so i wasn’t scoring any irony points watching this
TT: I suggest we start the movie before Dave further butchers the English language.
TG: i only butcher beats lalonde
TT: I can hear the faint cries of a dictionary, abandoned in the Strider residence. Hidden among smuppets and ironic hats, it wishes for death to find it so it’s suffering may cease.
GG: oh nooooo….
TG: that fucker wasn’t paying rent anyway
TG: start the movie
GG: wait!!
GG: aren’t we forgetting something???
EB: you’re right jade. movies aren’t the same without popcorn!
GG: no!
GG: well, yeah….. but no!
TG: damn harley make up your mind
GG: we should invite grandpa and the rest as well!
TG: nop.avi
GG: yes!
GG: .avi?
TT: Considering this is intended to be a teambuilding exercise I think it is a wonderful idea to invite Roxy and the others.
TG: ok no stop
TG: we are just watching the movie because it sounds like a good time
TG: watching the movie with the alphas is going to be awkward as fuck
TG: like picking up the math test you didnt study for and realizing you aint wearing pants while your teacher is literally hitler awkward
GG: that does sound very awkward
TG: i know right
EB: i don’t mind inviting them. it would be fun to chat with nanna again.
TT: And Roxy I presume.
EB: er……
TT: Need I remind you how we last found you two?
GG: I think I missed this one, what happened?
TG: the short version; john was macking on roses ectobiological mother
TG: the long version; john was macking on roses ectobiological mother
TT: *Our ectobiological mother.
TG: please dont remind me
GG: aaaw, that’s…… cute I guess? weird, but cute :B
EB: ok no, you are not blaming me for that one.
EB: she was came onto me.
TG: whatever
TT: Really now John? Did she come?
EB: onto me, yes and---
EB: oh I see what you are doing, mrs psychologist mcspookypants. but i am not falling for your mind tricks this time!!
TT: Alas, perhaps I require new victims.
GG: sooooooo…… i’m inviting grandpa.
TG: fuck jade no
--gardenGnostic [GG] invited golgothasTerror [GT] to memo--
GG: hi Jake!!!!!!
GT: Hi grandmother, err…..
GT: No, that would be incorrect *grins sheepishly*
GT: I apologize profusely, but I am still not entirely used to our ectobiological relation to one another
GG: that’s ok. i suppose it is a bit weird.
EB: just a bit?
GG: ok, it’s very weird. but it’s also very fun :)
GT: Indeed
GG: it means that technically i am chatting with my grandpa!!!
GT: Rather quite
GT: So what is the buzz all about?
TT: We intended to watch a movie together. Do you per chance have any interest in joining us?
GT: Smashing suggestion, I would be delighted to join you in this venture
TG: hurray
EB: are you ok with watching a Disney movie?
GG: why wouldn’t he be?
EB: well, it’s a bit silly isn’t it?
GT: Lackaday, i am not familiar with these movies
GT: Might I ask what they are about?
TG: pastel colored animated stuff
TG: features earworm songs and terrible moral lessons
GT: Ahá, I do believe the collection Jade…… er
GT: The collection grandmother left me included one or two of these videos
GT: I gravitated more towards the movies featuring daring heroes, damsels in distress and ear-shattering explosions, so I never did get around watching them
EB: i can completely understand that feeling.
GT: Jolly good
TG: its like we got a 1950s john in here
TG: im not sure whether or not i should get my camera or run for the bunkers
TT: Well, now we got Jake into the stream I assume the rest will follow soon, regardless of our intentions.
TT: Therefore, I think I shall invite Dirk.
TG: no fuck wait
GT: God bugger it, wait
--tentacleTherapist [TT] invited timaeusTestified [TT]--
GG: hi dirk :)
GG: how’s it going?
TT: Not much going on really. Building robots, rapping with Squarewave to keep my beats fresh…
TG: watching cartoon ponies prance around talking about friendship
TT: Watching cartoon ponies prance around, talking about friendship.
TG: damnit
GG: we are going to watch a movie!
TT: Cool.
EB: do you want to watch Hunchback of the Notre Dame?
TT: Sure. It seems I’m not doing anything right now.
TT: Are you familiar with the movie?
TT: I read the book. I don’t think the movie will hold any surprises for me.
TG: you read the fucking book?
TT: Yes.
TG: ok i aint buying
TG: did you look up the synopsis like a stupid school kid 2 hours before the deadline of his book report?
TG: slept with it under your pillow and absorbed the content trough osmosis?
TT: I read the words, which formed sentences that told me the story.
TT: You have to forgive Dave. He has trouble comprehending how someone can enjoy literature.
TG: like hell i do
TG: shakespear is the shit
GG: oh, oh, I think I know his work :)
EB: you don’t know Disney movies, but you know shakespeare?
GG: apparently so yeah!!
GG: is that wrong?
EB: no, it’s just a bit odd.
GG: i just loved harry potter :)
TT: False alarm John.
EB: I noticed.
GT: So when are we starting the video
GT: I am mighty curious about this shindig
TT: Ah, nice to see you are here as well Jake.
TT: I hadn’t noticed you.
GG: yeah, you became really quiet after Dirk got here :(
GT: I was er……
GT: Giving my weapon the ol spit shine, you know
TT: Oh my……………
TG: ………….dude
GT: What did I say?
TT: Don’t mind Jake. Innuendo and subtleties tend to fly right over his head.
GT: Not a chance chum, I can be perfectly subtle
GG: I bet not-grandpa can be totally subtle :)
GT: I thank you for the vote of confidence not-grandmother
EB: ok, if we’re going to have family reunions in here I’m inviting nanna.
--ectoBiologist [EB] invited gutsyGumshoe [GG]--
EB: hi nanna :B
GG: Hello there.
GG: John for goodness sake, I thought we agreed you’d call me by name now.
EB: sorry about that, it’s just a force of habit. hope you don’t mind.
GG: Well it is mighty embarrassing. I mean, we áre the same age.
EB: yeah, i guess you’re right.
GT: Good morrow Jane
GT: I hope this day finds you well
GG: Hello Jake. I am doing quite well, thank you.
GG: What is this little get-together for?
TT: I think Lalonde senior was going to explain that.
TT: Please do not refer to me as such. Roxy and myself are roughly the same age.
TT: Very well. Explain away then, Rose.
TT: Thank you.
TT: Taking in account that our teams are from entirely different timelines and have no experience working together, we thought it appropriate to organize a kind of teambuilding exercise to encourage co-operation within our group.
TT: Considering we are likely to be the last humans in existence it is of the utmost importance that we get along.
TG: what lalonde is trying to say is that she really wants to watch a disney movie
TT: Quiet Dave.
GG: would you like to watch the movie with us Jane?
GG: Why that would be lovely. It has been quite some time I just sat back and watched a movie with my chums.
GG: well, what better way to do it? :)
GG: Hoo hoo hoo, I do like the way you think Jade.
GG: :)
GG: Shall I invite Rolal as well?
TG: yeah I’ll get lalonde junior
TT: Dave, cease referring to us as such or you shall henceforth be known as Strider junior.
TG: alright zipping it
TG: i’ll just call her the fun lalonde how about that
--turntechGodhead [TG] invited tipsyGnostic [TG] to memo--
TG: otm, whazzup?
TT: Oh dear…..
TT: Hey Roxy.
TG: hey errybody. whatd I missis?
GG: Roxy…… Have you been drinking again?
TG: wha!? You woond me janey
TG: i’ll have you knwo i havent tocuhed a drunk in weeks
TG: *drink, lmao
TG: not touching drunks ether.
TT: Then how come you still manage to write in such an atrocious manner?
TG: oh hey daughtermom!
TG: so cash, everyone is hear!
TG: whats shakin?
TT: You are avoiding the question.
GT: She has assured us she cleaned up her act
TG: omg, THANKS Jake, you get it
TG: I HAVE cleaned up my acts. all of them.
TG: but there are mad cats walking over my kheysboard and i am hacking teh matrix, so i’m a bittid busy.
TG: correkt grammr is for chumps anywayz.
GG: the matrix? :O
TG: Ja, the game Jade sweetie.
TG: once I nailed this binary biatch, *ca-ching* unlimited gristz baby.
EB: oh, that sounds so incredibly sweet.
TG: YOU sounds so incredibly sweet bb *WONK*
GG: Oh dear….. Rolal, could you perhaps NOT hit on my poppop?
TG: oh…..is he offlimitz too? :(
GG: Well, I guess not….. Since he’s from another dimension altogether…
TG: just a different timeline really no biggie
GG: It’s just kind of weird.
EB: hey, that’s not fair. if I don’t get to call you nanna, you don’t get to call me poppop.
GG: Sorry John, merely a force of habit.
TG: Soooo, I cannot mack on Johny?
GG: Well…… I suppose you can.
GG: If you manage to behave.
TT: …….
TG: oh my god janey, your so stirtct with me.
EB: do i get a say in this?
TG: Noooope ;)
TG: women be crazy man
GG: :(
TG: not you harley
TG: youre cool
GG: YAY!!!
TT: You seem uncomfortable Dave.
TG: no
TG: its just weird seeing my biological motherdaughter flirt with my best bro
TG: you jelly davey ;)?
TG: no
TG: fuck no
TG: rose don’t even start
TG: we are leaving freud alone
TG: leave the poor fucker in his grave somewhere in europe and dont dig his corpse up for the sake of this joke
TG: lmao
TT: Traveling to London would be rather difficult considering the circumstances.
TT: Also, it is significantly less amusing if you start making the jokes for me.
TT: It seems everyone is present.
GG: I reckon we are, yes.
GG: yes! start the movie already john!
EB: alright, alright, starting the stream.
GG: oh this sounds promising :)
TG: shit where do the bells and latin chanting come from
TG: Shit zounds ominiouis as fuck
EB: it sounds an awful lot like a church choir
GG: Well, the Notre Dame IS a church you know?
EB: religion in a Disney film? that’s insane.
TT: It is delightful. This movie is probably the darkest feature film Disney has ever produced.
TG: well someone hasnt seen hannah montana
GG: roxy, jane, have you seen this movie before?
GG: I haven’t had the pleasure. There were a lot of movies I wasn’t allowed to watch back at home.
GG: A lot of the things I watched had to be approved by multiple people and censored, just to be safe.
TG: I watched ocne….. or twice. Mom-Rose left me aaaaall the Disney movis.
TG: Drank a lto back then so I don’t member everytin.
TG: That and I prefured arisomacats anyways.
TG: fucking clowns
TG: pro-tip kids; don’t get in his carriage
TG: no candy in there just broken dreams and lost innocence
EB: experience dave?
GG: he does have a very pretty voice :)
TT: It seems this is Clopin. The books don’t end well for this guy, just a lot of bleeding and dying.
GG: Oh dear. That does sound unpleasant.
TG: hmmmm…….
GT: I would appreciate going through the movie unspoiled chap
TT: Well, the books are a whole different tale then the movie.
TT: In fact, the characters and events are warped so much you may be forgiven for thinking of this tale as completely unrelated from the 1831 novel.
EB: woah, that’s old.
GG: i don’t get it…… why aren’t gypsies allowed in the city?
TT: Because of an unfair stigma.
TG: because they worship satan steal your woman and burn your houses
TT: That stigma, yes.
TG: omg, I dont know who taht guy is, and he looks fugly as shit…..
TG: but dyaaaamn, that voice just gibes me the warm shivers.
GG: Maybe you just have a thing for the older gentlemen, Rolal.
TG: No wai, Johny int much older then me.
EB: it’s still kind of weird, since you’re technically rose’s mom and all that.
TG: You can call me Mrss Lalonde if you want to ;) ;) ;)
TT: ………
TG: oh fuck me
TG: this is how every bad porn starts
TG: please stop
GG: OH NOOOOOO!
GT: Blimey that is harsh
EB: you know, for kids.
GG: She sounded so desperate trying to get into that building :( that is so sad
TT: It seems that her neck snapped when falling to the stairs. Not how it happened in the books at all, considering the mother abandoned her child. I don’t think this is a bad change though.
TT: It stays very in tone with the darkness of the original book, wouldn’t you say?
TT: Indeed.
GG: You sound amused by this cruel act.
TT: Well, yeah. Book version; everyone dies. It seems that this version won’t do that.
TT: If this version captures the spirit of the book while making it more accessible for the kids, I am content.
TG: hmmmmm………..
EB: seriously, this is like a bambi-mom in the first 5 minutes
GG: bambi?
TT: Oh, do not fret Jade, we’ll shall watch that later. I wish to observe your reaction.
GG: oh, ok
GG: that sounds fun :)
TG: jegus add babykilling to death by tripping on the stairs
TT: I bet that, at some point in time, she was warned about those stairs.
TG: no 5 minutes in and the guy already goes for a double kill
TG: keep something for the rest of the movie
GG: It is truly beautiful how the song just keeps going while telling such a dramatic story.
GG: A large portion of the dialogue between Frollo and the Archdeacon is kept within the song
TT: It is a shame Frollo is a judge in this version though
TT: Yes. In the books he WAS the archdeacon.
GG: How very odd.
EB: they probably didn’t want to give their movie too much religious subtext
EB: if the villain of the film is a priest they might ‘give the wrong message’
TT: Well, then I am afraid they failed miserably.
TG: the eyes of notre dame obviously refer to some unseen omnipotent father figure
TG: you may know him better as god
TT: Astute Observation.
EB: yeah, but well….. the idea of a god is kind of well, silly now isn’t it?
GT: Because we all reached the esteemed title of god ourselves?
GG: and now we know our creator was a angry kid with nubby horns in a different universe
GG: I admit; having studied physics all my life…… I never saw that one coming :/
TT: And so our story begins, with Frollo deciding to take care of the misformed infant to repent for his sin of accidently killing that woman.
GG: Does that not mean he does it for his own sake rather than the child’s?
TT: In the book, it is actually an act of selflessness.
GG: So he is a good person?
TT: There are many shades of grey between good and bad Jane.
TG: i counted fifty
TT: Dave, no.
GT: Incredible, absolutely smashing
GT: How Clopin manages to hold that last note is absolutely sublime
TG: is 1950s john always like this
GG: Hoo hoo, you should see him when he gets exited.
TT: Well, it seems that was the intro of the movie.
GG: It sure sets a high standard doesn’t it?
TG: hmmmm….. say Diiiirk?
TT: Yes?
TG: could you tell me about your auto-responder?
--timeausTestified [DS] changed screenname to auto-Responder [AR]--
AR: It seems you have asked about DS’s chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS’s otherwise inimitable rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorythems are guaranteed to be 9X% indistinguishable from DS’s native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically pulled out of my ass just now.
AR: Damnit.
EB: what’s going on?
GT: Confound, modern technology!
GG: OMG, is that what i think it is? :O
TG: lil hal, the betas. betas, lil hal.
AR: Sup.
TG: hey
TT: Hello.
GG: are you an AI?
AR: please refer to that automated wall of text I just had to recite again for information on me.
AR: Yes, I’m an AI, based on Dirk’s own brain.
AR: I do his chatting when he’s busy, which is all the time.
AR: Also, Dirk never read the book. I did, because I basically compute that shit in 0,04 nanoseconds.
AR: So clearly I am better suited to be here anyway.
GG: that
GG: is
GG: soooooooooo
GG: coooooooooooooool :) :)
GT: Might I ask why Dirk isn’t joining us for this merry assemblage?
AR: Oh, he’s basically nervous as fuck about talking to his bro. Just don’t tell him I said that.
GG: We wouldn’t dare Mr Hal.
TG: yeah you know I can read everything you said right
AR: Oh drats. I have no idea how my billions of processing units could not have picked up on your presence.
EB: dave, i think he’s being sarcastic
TG: thanks for pointing that out
EB: no problem bro
GG: Mr Hal?
AR: Lil Hal, or just Hal will do Harley.
GG: can I research you?
AR: What do you mean?
GG: well, I want to see how you work.
GG: possibly reverse engineer you to see how Dirk put you together.
TG: woah jade, nobodie’s dissectimating him. AR is my bb
GG: I thought john was your bb?
TG: they are both my bbs 8) deal with it yo
GG: But I want to see how he works!
AR: Right, both of you are clearly batshit.
GG: Oh :(
TG: weak.
AR: I’ll call the main man. He should have finished his shower twenty minutes ago anyway.
GG: Please come by again lil Hal.
AR: I might. Now behave kids.
--autoResponder [AR] invited timeausTestified [DS] to memo--
--autoResponder [AR] left memo--
TG: OMFGWTFBBQ di stri, did you reelly think I’d fell for that?
TT: Would it be wrong of me to say I hoped you would?
TG: Yes!
GT: Yes
GG: Indeed.
TT: ......So what’d I miss?
TT: Tragedy struck and a malformed infant has found a guardian in a extremist priest.
EB: i thought he was a judge
TT: That would be the work of the mouse.
TT: Cool.
EB: well he didn’t turn out thát bad.
EB: just the weird lump above his eye, the back that makes him look like frankenstein’s assistant, a nose that no mother could love and arms that seem too big for his body.
TG: in other words regular freakshow
TG: Rude dave
GG: well he sounds like a kind person, he just looks a bit funny.
GT: You should never judge your fellow men on their appearance
TG: then you have never seen your fellow men wear crocs before
GT: Incidentally, that fat gargoyle fellow sure likes a good jape doesn’t he?
GG: Indeed. He makes for a fine double act with the overly sophisticated gargoyle. The fool and the straight man if you will.
TT: Meh. They’re not really doing it for me.
TT: Yeah….. the gargoyles weren’t in the book.
GG: I see. They were added for comic relief I take it?
GG: oh, to make it more accessible to kids?
TT: I assume so. Funnily enough the addition of this comic relief trio adds a pretty dark undertone for those who are alert to it.
GG: Might I inquire into the nature of this dark undertone?
TT: I believe it will be much more amusing to have the gumshoe figure it out herself.
GG: Hoo hoo hoo that sounds tremendously fun. Watson?
TG: Rolal Hatson reporting fir duty.
TG: *Watson.
GG: We must uncover the mystery behind these stone creatures.
TG: Yes ma’am!
TT: Incidentally, their names are a reference to the writer, Victor Hugo.
TT: Because every esteemed writer hopes to one day be a easter egg in a Disney movie based on his own story.
TT: So this guy wants to go to the ball/cave of miracles/elephant graveyard/army/outside/atlantis/feast of fools, which causes shenanigans and conflict to be set in motion for the rest of the movie.
TT: Movie will include an obligatory love-interest, comedy sidekicks (preferably animals) and the antagonist dying by his own error /gravity /act of god.
GG: DIRK! Don’t spoil it!
TG: Omfg Dick.
TG: *Dirk
TG: No wait, dick works fin.
TT: Am I incorrect?
TG: you forgot to mention the obligatory musical numbers
TT: Of course.
TT: I do love their dysfunctional relationship. There are so many little things to comment on.
TT: Note how Quasimodo sets the table, giving Frollo the silverware while eating and drinking from wooden materials himself, to reflect how submissive he is towards his master.
TG: woah
TG: submissive and master in one sentence
TG: were not delving into malformed wizard priest fanfic territory are we
TG: omgf please do.
GG: I would prefer to keep the conversation civil, if you please.
TG: lmoa Janey, you’re so cute.
GG: why does Quasimodo say the alphabet so strangely? I thought A was for atom…..
GT: I thought A was for action
TT: It is clearly “artificial”.
EB: am I the only one who learned it was apple?
TT: It is a matter of association really. He raises Quasimodo to hate himself.
TT: I can only assume L is for Lust, as we shall later discover.
TG: please no malformed dude on priest action
TG: please no malformed dude on priest action
TT: You are aware there are plenty of other possibilities right?
TG: you havent talked much to this particular lalonde have you
TT: ;)
TG: oh dont even start
GT: Zounds, that bootless doghearted snake
GT: He knows damn well his mother did not abandon him but died trying to protect him
GT: Why I would give him the ol one-two given half the chance *puts up fisticuffs*
TG: jake
TG: dude
TG: never change
GG: you really do sound a lot like grandpa when you get exited Jake :)
GG: it’s pretty cute
TG: omg, jake is such a cutie potato
TG: *patatio
TG:*pistachio
TG: ……*Jake is such a cutie
TG: like, erryone gets the hotz for him, iykwim
GG: Rolal!
GG: uhm…….
TG: jade, jade, jaed. I bet u make ur peeps just as mad with ur charmz and shit.
GG: not really?
GG: i think….?
GG: rose, do I make you mad?
TG: lmao, ur just as oblivion too. family traits ftw.
TG: *oblivious
TT: Roxy, I would appreciate it if you would stop these disingenuous assertions. Jade is merely our very good friend.
GG: <3
TG: Le sign
GG: You *ARE* kind of pushing it Rolal.
TG: alrighty janey. What else shuld we talk about?
GG: The movie, perhaps? Frollo is singing again.
TG: such a smexy smexy voice.
TT: Agreed. His voice is one that you could make sweet chocolaty love too.
TG: wauw really bro
TG: i mean I’m cool with your preferences and whatnot but its kind of weird seeing the orange text jump up from the screen going ‘men are totally hot’
TT: Is it less awkward when Roxy does it?
EB: I just thought he was being ironic.
TG: I was
TG: I think
TG: know what never mind
EB: i don’t think i’ll ever understand irony……
TT: I don’t think the Striders will either.
TG: meanwhile quasi is like
TG: fuck that im going to the festival anyway
GG: I am by no means an expert but I think he is not as good a singer…….
GT: Compared to Frollo and Clopin anyway
TT: Movie would be awfully short if he stayed in the Notre Dame, don’t you think, Dave?
TG: they could have called it hunchback of the notre dame; learning the alphabet ringing bells and talking to myself a whole lot
TG: shit would sell for biznasty amounts
TT: From the mind that brought you Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff the movie
TG: no way
TG: did that shit become an actual movie
TT: Yes
TG: how was it
TT: As bad as you hoped for. You got Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson to play the leads and it opened with ten minutes of bro falling down the stairs.
TG: oh my god yes
TG: that is beautiful
TG: post scratch me sounds like a pretty cool dude
TT: And Donald Clovers performance was said to be one of the defining moments in cinema history.
TT: As friend turned enemy turned friend again Geromy.
GT: I watched it and I can assure you it moved me to tears
TG: me two. laughin so hard.
TT: So of course the Batterwitch had him assassinated.
TG: damn trolls
TT: Yeah. She was kind of a bitch as your post-scratch self found out.
TG: yeah i guess we lucked out there
TG: our trolls are less interstellar conquerors and more assholes wallowing in their own failure
TT: Sigh
TT: And here is captain Phoebus. Quite possibly one of the biggest victims of Disney’s edits.
GG: I am not a particular fan of this brand of facial hair. A well groomed beard is nice and all, but only a true gentleman can sport a moustache.
GG: That said, he seems fairly charming.
TT: Oh he is supposed to be in this version, and that’s what baffles me. He is actually more of an antagonist in the books. He is vain, untrustworthy and even though he has a fiancée his biggest desire is ‘one night of passion’ with a sixteen year old.
GG: That sounds rather dastardly. Disney’s version seems to be a lot more charming.
TT: Like I said; the book and the Disney version may as well be different stories entirely.
TG: behold the only blonde dude in france
EB: is phoebus a french name? it doesn’t sound very French….
TG: well they cant all be called pierre or jacques
GT: Egad, who is this dame
GT: She is positively stunning
TT: And yet there isn’t a speck of blue on her.
GT: Well nobody’s perfect
TG: next to the only blonde in france we have the thickest eyebrows in france
TG: let them join up with quasi and they have their own freakshow
GG: well I think she looks soooo pretty!!
GG: and I love how she dances. it kinda makes me wish I could dance like that.
TG: welp, cant be taht hard can it?
GG: you think?
TG: Shure, I’ll teech you.
GG: you can dance?
TG: how hard can it be? :3
TT: Please note that Esmeralda is supposed to be a mere sixteen years young.
EB: hahaha yeah….. no.
EB: there is no way this woman is sixteen.
EB: It’s pretty clever to use the goat as part of her disguise, with the beard and whatnot.
GG: Creativity is a important part of creating a good disguise, wouldn’t you say?
EB: oh I know! I just never knew a woman could use a goat like that.
TG: giggedy
TT: Can someone tell the latin chorus and the bells to keep it down a bit?
TT: It is very epic and adds a very cool atmosphere but this is just a building that appears once in the whole movie.
TT: Save the epic chorus for when shit is actually happening.
GT: Blimey that Frollo is a slimy pillock
EB: i still dont really get his whole prejudice towards the gypsies.
EB: is it because they look different? Because they have different believes and philosophies?
TT: Shit, I don’t know.
GG: Well, “ye olde” Europe was pretty extremist in their Christianity were they not?
EB: yeah. but damn, this is some pretty harsh stuff coming from a disney movie.
EB: i dont think any other disney villains are motivated by what is basically blatant racism.
TT: Gypsies used to earn most of their income by amusement, particulary circus acts, music and well…. occult stuff such as palm reading, tarot cards, crystal balls.
GG: I see. Then it isn’t difficult to see how the catholic church would view them as heathens.
TG: damn
TG: a disney movie that insinuates smack about the church
TG: meanwihle Pheonix….Feeblus….
GG: phoebus?
TG: yesh, dat guy. He’s looking liek; “oh noes, bad touch”.
GG: hehehe, really doesn’t seem to like Frollo
TT: Stealthiest mofo of them all.
GG: well he did descend from that huge tower in seconds.
TT: Yeah, but he sticks out like a sore thumb, the way he swings over the crowd. Don’t tell me no one noticed the mysterious hooded figure descending from the bell tower and swinging over their heads.
GG: it’s a busy festival, of course no one is going to notice.
GG: You know, it looks rather tame does it not? For a festival called the feast of fools I mean.
GG: I was looking forward to seeing the people act silly.
GG: Well, I stand corrected.
GG: Hoo hoo, it really looks like a festival now.
TT: Quasimodo just happens to have the timing to catch the kick-off of the festival?
GG: grrrrrr
GG: he has been watching the festival for years, of course he knew when it was going start!
TT: Really? He knew the starting time but he didn’t know the traditions that go with the feast?
GG: what traditions are you talking about?
--autoResponder [AR] joined memo--
AR: I just talked him through it.
TT: Yes, much appreciated AR.
AR: It would have been a lot easier if your fleshy brain could connect to a computer.
TT: I’m sure it would have been.
--timeausTestified [DS] banned autoResponder [AR] from memo--
TG: omfg dirk, don’t jusht ban him.
TT: He’ll get over it.
TT: Besides, if he really wants to be here, I won’t be able to stop him.
GT: Bolly this festival is incredibly silly but looks like so much fun
GT: The music, the costumes, the performers, it looks great
GT: Lobsters are boiling the cooks, dogs are walking their owners and horses are riding their riders, this truly IS topsy turvy
GG: Hoo hoo, I dare say, perhaps they even eat their desert before diner on that special day.
GT: That, miss Crocker, would be truly outrageous
GT: And lord’s beard, Clopins singing is just the cherry on the metaphorical pie
GT: And
GT: Oh my
GT: He mentions strumpets?
EB: beer? They acknowledge alcohol in a disney movie?
EB: i mean i am not complaining, i just thought these were the kinds of things they would try to hide or censor.
EB: like calling it lemonade or something obvious like that.
TG: dat lucky qausi gets a peek of schmeralda in the dersing room
RL:*dressing
TG: she doesn’t eben seem to care. That’s how you KNOW shes into you.
EB: is that how it works?
TG: yuuuup. but you can knock fhirst if you feel shy *wonk*
TT: ………….
EB: I eh….. I think I’ll just watch the movie now.
GT: *loosens collar a bit* Boy uhm….
GT: That Esmeralda sure is quite……. Agile
TG: yeah like a porn star gymnastic
GT: Oh my
GT: I was not going to put it like that but
GT: The mental imagery you are creating is certainly something
TG: hahahaha damn dude
TG: youre even more impressionable then Egbert
TT: Sixteen years old.
TG: Fuck
GG: phoebus looks very happy to see Esmeralda dance like that :)
GG: i bet it makes him fall in love with her right away.
TG: dyamn gurl, love is not what a man thinks of when he sees a wonan dance like that.
GG: really? well what do they think of?
TG: Johny! Why didn’t you tell me how aderpable your ectosister is?
GG: ??????
EB: is it clever to seduce the man who actively wants to prosecute your people?
TT: Nop.
TT: Not particularly.
EB: is this going to bite her in the ass?
TT: Oh, you have no idea.
EB: you know, for kids.
TG: holy shit
TG: congrats rose
TG: this was everything i ever wanted to see in disney flick
TT: Sixteen year old.
TG: god fucking damnit
GT: I am not sure if people should take offense to this competition or not
GT: Is being crowned ugliest face an accomplishment worth bragging about?
TG: pretty sure they made one or two reality shows about it
GG: aaaaaw…... quasimodo is finally appreciated and made some friends
GG: just look at how happy he is :)
TT: Indeed.
TT: It would be a shame if something were to……
TT: Go horribly wrong.
GG: :O
GG: OH NOOOOOOOO!
GG: why are they doing that?!
GG: that is horrible :(
TT: They see a monstrosity, ergo they treat him as such.
GG: BUT HE’S NOT A MONSTER!
TT: You know that. I know that. The people there just see the ugliest motherfucker alive and treat him like an animal.
GG: :(
TT: Now there, no need to pout. Just a silly movie remember?
GT: And that craven milk-livered barnacle Frollo is just sitting there
GT: A lesson, my rear
GT: More than anything he seems to derive pleasure from this act of public humiliation
TG: i am not the only one reading this right
TG: milk-livered barnacle
TG: the fuck english
TG: the person not the language
TG: actually disregard that last sentence
TG: language can go fuck itself too
GG: Hoo hoo, I know. At first it seems all charming and cute, but after that you learn to deal with it.
GG: It’s just how he is.
GT: I take offense to that Jane
GT: My vocabulary is still incredibly charming
TG: See? just how he ish da stri
TG: da stri
TG: are all you alphas completely of your rockers
TT: It is meant as an endearing nickname. You know, since she calls me Di stri.
TG: it’s almost as weird as 1950s john
TT: Spitting in the face of the man who has prosecuted your people with no regard for their life and/or dignity for over 20 years.
TT: Best idea.
GG: But she is…….
GG: ……………………
TG: come on harley we know what’s coming
GG: ……………………………………………
GT: Grandmother?
TG: dont worry its kind of her thing
GG: ………………………………………………………
TG: so cool
TG: go
GG: ……………………………………………………………………………………………
EB: come on jade this was never funny
GG: rude :(
EB: ha, made you stop
GG: grrrrr
GG: She does manage to deftly pull the wool over everyone’s eyes.
GG: Combined with her penchant for disguises, it seems to me we have a grade-A prankster here.
EB: where would she fit on the echeladder?
GG: Somewhere between Snickering Scallywag and Sassacre’s Student I’d wager.
EB: no way. that entrance and that exit are clearly evidence of a ninja trickster.
TT: Are these real levels or is this part of an elaborate prank?
GG: I don’t know mr Strider. Maybe it is.
EB: and maybe it isn’t.
TT: Two half-baked pranksters in one chat. I knew I should’ve let AR handle this.
GG: Oh we definitely need to team up some time John.
GG: There are so many pranks I’ve always wanted to pull but needed a co-conspirator.
EB: that sounds great!
GG: Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
TT: We made a terrible mistake.
GG: Luckily Phoebus is such a gallant gent.
TT: Ugh……
GG: Something wrong?
TT: I apologize Jane, I am merely trying my very best to see the movie and the book as separate entities.
TT: Because this is not Phoebus de Châteaupers.
GG: I can understand the frustration of seeing a movie ignore its source material.
GG: Do you still enjoy this version, based on its own merits?
TT: Well of course. I wouldn’t subject you to watching it otherwise.
TT: Though I may be inclined to make you watch something truly awful for comedic effect.
GG: Hoo hoo hoo, as in a prank I assume?
GG: I tried doing that, but Dirk liked it ‘ironically’. And Jake loves every movie, despite how objectively terrible it is.
GT: Are you talking about Ghost Rider?
GT: I loved that flick
EB: dude no. that is the ONE Nicholas Cage film that must not be spoken off.
GT: But it was magnificent
EB: it really wasn’t.
GT: Poppycock
GT: Bloke rides around on an AWESOME motorcycle, has a flaming skull for his face and fights using these fiendish powers
EB: ok, it had the ideas for a good movie, but it just doesn’t work. the story goes all over the place and the effects are lazy.
GT: I respectfully disagree
EB: 8ah
GG: esmeralda seems like a GREAT role model :)
GG: she is clever, compassionate, and can defend herself
TT: ………Of course she is Jade.
GG: you hesitated for a second.
GG: why did you hesitate?
TT: Let’s enjoy the movie shall we?
TT: Expert bullshitting skills activate.
TG: Oh noes, bad toch. She needs an adult.
TG: His voice might be the smexiest silk evar but this is getting puretty rapey.
GT: He makes a despicable unredeemable antagonist!
GT: THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT A LADY!
TG: kid seems genuinely insulted
TT: Like I said, he’s very impressionable.
TT: As you may have gathered, Frollo has a……… thing, for Esmeralda.
EB: as does phoebus and quasimodo. are there no other attractive women in france?
TT: The book even adds a fourth suitor for her.
EB: oh come on. that is just stupid.
TG: she’s so beau aaaaall the men in the plot fall fur her.
GG: oh……
GG: wauw.
GG: this song is REALLY pretty you guys.
TT: A plea to any deity who might be listening, for those who are unable to take care of themselves.
TT: While I agree it is a pretty song, it’s something a beauty pageant would sing.
GG: is that a bad thing?
TT: Of course it isn’t Harley.
TG: dont tease her dirk, teh songs aweosme and you know it!
TT: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves and call it awesome.
GG: I do believe you are selling it a bit short mr Strider.
GG: The singing and the imagery really make this a beautiful piece of art.
TT: Hey, whatever floats your boat.
TT: I love the fact that the prayer of the infidel is more sincere then the prayers of the faithful.
TT: It shows that sin isn’t exclusive to non-believers and compassion not just for those who practice religion.
TG: I’d expect something like that from a filthy heathen like you
TT: ……..Dave I spent 3 years with you on a meteor, I KNOW how much you sin.
EB: really?
TT: Once every time he took a shower…...
TG:
TT: ;)
GT: Boy those gargoyles are awfully shy are they not?
GT: You’d think they’d be overjoyed to have someone new to talk to
TG: Janey, after lotz of seductions and analalyses me and Dr Frenglish have solved the riddle of the stoned statues.
TG: *deductions. seductions will have to wait for a bit.
GT: I am a qualified doctor now?
TG: we concludeded that the garogyales are…….
TG: *drums for dramatic effect*
TG: incredibly shy!
GG: Uhm…… Rose was this what you were talking about?
TT: I am afraid not the esteemed Rolal Watson needs to reconsider her hypothesis
TG: shoot
TT: So yeah, AR just contacted me again……..
TT: He just finished ranting about how the bells are sexualized in the books……
TT: Indeed.
TT: I think……
TT: No, actually I don’t.
TT: That shit may just have fried my brain.
TT: They were Quasimodo’s only companions for years, together with the gargoyles, and they sang to him.
TT: They sang so hard in fact, he turned deaf.
TT: Yeah that’s wonderful.
TT: Still confused about the whole; sexy bells thing.
GG: Frollo truly did indoctrinate poor Quasimodo, making him believe all gypsies are evil.
EB: yet quasi seems very dependent on Esmeralda, very fast.
TG: well yeah
TG: babe is shaped like a lamppost with two basketballs tied to it
TG: she is the only thing in the plot without an y chromosome
TG: she is a gilf
EB: yeah, that’s nice bro.
TG: a gypsy I’d like to
EB: I get it dave, geesh.
TT: Don’t mind me Dave. I am merely taking notes on your desire to fornicate with an animated woman.
TG: we agreed to leave freud out of this lalonde
TT: Freud has nothing to do with it, I assure you.
GT: Is there something against his appreciation for well-designed animated women?
TG: thank you English
TT: Not in particular. It’s just so easy to get a raise out of him.
TG: rox your sister is teasing me
TG: I know. I am laughing my fine ass off.
TG: damnit
GG: oh wauw!
GG: Quasi just gets of that tower like it’s no big deal!
GG: That. Is. So. Cool!!!!
TT: While carrying a woman (approximately 65 kg) and a male goat (approximately 40 kg). He manages to do all these acrobatics while holding little over 230 pounds.
TT: And somehow the goat doesn’t plummet to its death.
EB: that woven band she gives him seems like a suitable mcguffin to come into play in a later point.
EB: even from the quick glance we get it is pretty obviously a map.
TT: Congratulations John. You have proven yourself to be smarter than the average 12 year old.
EB: geesh, way to spoil my fun, you……. funspoiler.
TT: John, such scathing words are unbecoming of you.
EB: somehow i feel you are still mocking me………..
GG: Quasimodo is very territorial, or just plain protective of Esmeralda.
GG: It is kinda sweet, if not a little frightening to see him lash out like that to a figure that might wish her harm.
GT: He is just being a gentleman
TT: Actually I think he just might be a little feral.
GT: Regardless he must be much stronger then you gave him credit for earlier
GT: He lifts an adult wearing armor with one hand, that is mighty impressive
TT: Alright then, let’s assume 80 kg (or 175 pounds) for an adult male + 20 kg (or 44 pounds) of armor and you have an incredibly amount of weight in one hand..
TT: Therefore I am calling bs.
GG: do you have to go and try to ruin the movie dirk? :(
TT: Just keeping it real Harley
GG: well stop it then! Have some fun with the movie, fuckass.
TT: Now that’s just hurtful. I think I shed a tear.
GG: Oh dear…… They are back.
GG: While they certainly are amusing they kind of….. Well, kill the pace.
GG: That and it becomes increasingly frustrating that there seems to be a trick to these statues I cannot figure out yet.
TT: I am sure you’ll find it gumshoe.
GG: Roxy, keep your eyes open.
TG: Aye maam. Rite after this song.
GG: i am glad quasi gets another song, and such a pretty one too.
GG: Indeed. Though he is not that good a singer, I am starting to think that maybe that was the point.
GG: yeah, it’d be pretty goofy if he suddenly sang like that clown :P
GG: he doesn’t sing all that well, but he does sound very sincere and sensitive.
GG: it makes me feel kinda sorry for him, having such a shitty life :(
TG: hes right you know
TG: i mean i get it
TG: true beauty lies within and all that disney crap
TG: but a woman needs to be blind to fall in love with this guy
GG: That’s mean!
TG: ok show of hands ladies and bro
TG: would you date this wonderful hunk of a man
GG: …………..
TG: ……………..
GG: ……………..
TT: …………….. Out of morbid curiosity perhaps?
TT: Ironically.
TT: Please learn the definition of the word…….
GT: Oh my
TG: hopy shit
GG: Oh dear………
TT: …………
EB: holy shit.
TG: damn
TG: how did disney get this one approved
TG: not complaining but this is extreme for disney
TG: like sixflags selling meth before the rollercoaster extreme
TG: and the rollercoaster is on fire
TG: and it’s the 90s
EB: it is pretty awesome.
EB: frollo is an amazing singer and the visuals, and the content and….
EB: holy shit.
TG: otm dat voice.
TG: janey, please scoop me from the floor. I think I melteded.
GG: that got pretty dark……
GG: did he really mean it when he said she’d be his or burn?
TT: did he look like he was kidding?
GG: oh noooooooooooooo.
TG: Yesh harley. Frollo gots the hotz for Esmeralda, but doesn’t want to admjt it to himself.
GG: well that’s pretty stupid.
GG: Jade, you don’t understand.
GG: understand what?
GG: He legitimately seems to think HE is the good person here, and that by making Esmeralda his, he can convert her and save her from the flames of hell.
GG: :O
GT: I have seen many a flick wherein the antagonist thinks he’s a good man, but so often did it seem shallow or a charade
GT: This man, slimy as he is, seems certain of his own better nature
GT: I think it makes him more complex as a villain than a standard power-hungry buffoon
TT: He is convinced he doesn’t lust after Esmeralda but that she put him under a black magic spell. Therefore, all bets are off and he must find her.
TT: I think it makes him somewhat tragic.
TG: but then he turned into kind of a dick and all tragedy is forgotten
TT: Obsession can be a dangerous thing.
TT: Oh why did they turn him into such a Mary Sue. I know I keep nitpicking but in the books he stood and watched as they executed Esmeralda. Now he risks his life to save people he doesn’t even know.
GG: but they were innocent!
TT: It is out of character.
GG: Well maybe I just like this Phoebus better than the Phoebus der Chato from the books!
GT: I agree with Jade
GT: No offense Rose, but the Phoebus you describe sounds like quite the folly-fallen lewdster whereas this man is a splendid example of a noble knight
TT: Guys, I think Frollo said; do not hit my horse.
TT: Speaking of which, he only had like 5 men with him, including Phoebus. Even if they are armed with crossbows, how could they possibly fire that fast?
TT: Also, what is the point of wearing armor if the first arrow that hits the guy pierces it effortlessly?
TT: Considering the fact that the arrow nearly pierced his heart, the impact of the fall, the time he spent underwater and the medicinal skills at this particular time period, what are the chances he stays dead?
GG: OMG DIRK!
TG: OGM DIRK!
TT: Woah, stereo.
TT: It’s just a stupid movie guys, chill. What do you care about me pointing out the inconsistencies and contrivances?
GT: You ARE acting like quite the tosser my friend
TT: Am I doing it again?
GT: You most definitely are
TT: ………..huh.
TT: I really should learn to stop being such a prick I guess.
GT: If it is any conciliation, you are doing much better than before *smiles warmly*
TG: is this were the yaois start
EB: dave, shut up.
TT: No, it’s cool. I’ll try to be a little more agreeable.
GT: Thank you Strider
TT: You are perfectly free to point out inconsistencies Dirk. In fact, you spotted a few I hadn’t considered myself.
TT: I wasn’t planning on stopping that.
EB: well that escalated quickly.
TG: Oh nooooooo.
TG: I’ve always wanted to vishit Paris oen day.
EB: really?
TG: l-o-l, of course! Though, you know, Batzerwhich.
It’s the city de lameour. Can you imagine how totally kick-ass it wuld be to walk ther with a lover?
TT: I am surprised Roxy. I never took you for a romantic.
TG: I am teh most romantically. but I’ll nevar walk thar now with earth gone and errything.
TG: now I have to tihnk of somefin else to do with Johny.
TG: perhaps a walk on the sun, now we’re all gods and shit. Crazy romantic.
TT: You keep insisting you have something romantic with John.
EB: uhm…..
TG: oh, we had a *moment*
GG: Oh my.
TT: Oh really?
TG: Yup. back when I was capturd by the batterwhich.
GG: strange….. I don’t remember anything about that.......
TG: he swept me off my feet and I swooned.
EB: it really wasn’t that special roxy. i just wanted to help you out of a jam.
TG: well, i thought it was special ;)
TG: that and flirting with you is a lotta fun
TT: You know Roxy, according to alien prophecy I am the one that is supposed to ‘breed’ with John.
TG: WHAT!?
TG: are you trying to steal Johny from me?
TT: I am just saying, you may have competition.
TG: oh………
EB: uhm….. can you maybe not go there rose?
TT: But we got a alien scripture and everything.
EB: wait, are you referring to that shipping grid karkat drew?
TT: Alien prophecy sounds so much more poignant.
EB: so it’s a false alarm?
TG: wait, so she’s just yanking my chain?
TT: No offense John, but I don’t think I am interested in you like that.
TG: omfg, how could you not be!?
EB: uhm, roxy?
TG: he is cute and funny and kind and loyal and…..I…… and…….
TT: Yes. Go on?
TG: ….is this part of your psychological shtick?
TT: Perhaps. But please, I believe you were saying something.
TG: ….let’s return to the movie ok?
TT: If you insist.
EB: (dude, dave.)
EB: (what just happened?)
TG: (shit I dont know)
TG: (lalondes passive aggressive combat seemed to end in a fatality but roxy seems to act like nothing happened)
EB: (well what should I do?)
TG: (ignore it till it goes away)
EB: (dave…..)
TG: (burn the house and claim insurance)
EB: (Dave.)
TG: (have snape kill dumbledore)
EB: (DAVE!)
GG: ok, that was probably the worst song in the movie :(
TT: I do appreciate the slightly dark joke at the beginning of the song.
TT: “Paris, the city of lovers is glowing this evening……… True, that’s because it’s on fire.”—end quote
GG: Haha, yeah :)
GG: i get that the gargoyles try to make him feel better about himself but it feels like they are mocking him……
GG: like it’s all a big joke.
GT: And a joke it seems to be
GG: Regardless, do the singing abilities of the gargoyles tie in to their mystery Rose?
TT: Not exactly no.
GG: Drats.
EB: is it really a clever idea to hide a wanted fugitive right under frollo’s nose?
GG: So Esmeralda requires Quasi’s aid yet again.
GG: Give the woman a finger and she takes a hand it seems.
TG: giggedy
GG: Dave shoosh.
TG: oh snap
TG: friendzoned like a chump
TG: time to make a stupid blog about how girls dont understand you and only go for the assholes
GG: DAVE!
GG: Don’t make fun of him now…..
GG: it’s just so sad :(
GG: I….. Yes, Jade.
GG: This is incredibly sad.
GG: I can definitely sympathize with Quasi here :(
EB: i thought the hero always got the girl, especially in disney.
TT: There are always exceptions to the rule.
GT: Blimey
GT: They even reprise that somewhat hopeful song he sung earlier to make it even sadder
GT: Well Quasi just can’t catch a break tonight
EB: you just know he took way too much pleasure in kicking phoebus in the face.
TG: yes quasimodo
TG: it is YOUR fault paris is burning
TG: forget that i literally order people to burn houses
TG: this is all on you buddy
TG: Oh my god, just fuck already.
TG: I swear, the sexual tension between these two is unbearable. They are like, meant to be kismesises.
GG: Rolal? Those were completely grammatically correct sentences.
TG: Yeah, time to shove the cats of my keyboard and focus on watching the movie.
TG: Also, need to act my finest for the betas…. Show that I’m not just goofing around.
TT: …………….
GT: Well I approve
GT: It makes for a much easier read like this
GG: aaaaw, I thought it was funny :(
TG: Sorry Jade. I’ll talk some more gibberish in private chats, or if you want me to teach you how to dance ;)
GG: were you serious about that? :O
TG: Well, if you’re up for it.
GG: Yay!
EB: oh dear. soon jade will be waltzing trough the halls won’t she?
TG: I am not exactly classically trained :P but she will be dancing.
EB: well, that should be fun.
TG: I can teach you too if you want…..
TG: yeah egbert go dancing
TG: everybody wants to see that shit
EB: oh my god dave, shut up.
TT: (learn to read the mood brother)
TG: (the hell did i do?)
GT: The gypsies chose a most splendid décor wouldn’t you say?
TT: This is coming back to the whole skull issue isn’t it?
GT: Well yeah
GT: It makes the entrance to their court look like magnificent catacombs
GG: So it’s exactly as Mr Strider said; your skull thing.
GT: I am quite certain I am not the only one finding it charming, therefore it is not; ‘my thing’
GG: i don’t remember grandpa having a thing for skulls.
GG: Well, Jake has quite an extensive fascination for it. We more or less ignore it, but I can see how it would weird people out.
GT: Oh poppycock
GG: Please enlighten us Jake, what was your favorite computing device again?
GT: The
GT: Oh
GT: Can you blame me?
GT: Skulls are awesome
TG: actually i agree with English
TG: skulls and dead things in general are pretty awesome
GT: Thank you Strider
GT: I am glad to have met another gentleman with such an exquisite taste
TG: shit you should see my collection
TG: not many skulls but plenty of other stuff
TT: Whatever did Jake do to deserve a tour trough Strider’s house of horrors?
GT: That just makes me want to witness it first hand
GT: Adventure ho
TT: Of course……
GG: Hoo hoo, the movie does not have enough Clopin.
GG: He brings so much energy and fun with him every time he’s on screen.
GG: it’s a shame he wants to hang quasi and phoebus
GG: Well, it’s an honest mistake…..
GG: he doesn’t even hear them out! :(
TG: ‘it is the sentence that’s really the fun’
GG: yes, but it’s mean!
GG: and how come being innocent is the worst crime of all? I don’t get it @_@
TG: Well, it means they haven’t sinned. Never got drunk, not doing teh sex until marriage, going to church every Sunday, etc etc.
TG: The gypsies on the other hand prefer to live a little.
GG: oh, I guess that makes sense?
TG: At least, that’s how I interpret it.
TT: No, you are quite right, though I suppose it only applies on this version of Phoebus.
TT: I think you mentioned it enough Rose.
TT: It just boggles my mind.
TT: Ok, here I go again……
GT: Just be polite
TT: First; he mentioned a thousand men would attack the court of miracles. While this may have been a bluff, I don’t even count half of that amount.
TT: Also, it seems to be an army of clones, which makes me wonder why he didn’t go with thousand anyway. Clones aren’t hard to come by and he could’ve rid the entire world of gypsies.
TG: it all makes sense now
TG: frollo is a sith lord
GG: i don’t think they had clones in ye olde france.
TT: Second; Quasimodo and Phoebus infiltrated the court of miracles with just the two of them and already got spotted by gypsy sentries. Frollo infiltrates the court with a hundred men or so yet no sentry warns the court?
GG: you know, that is actually a very valid complaint :O
GG: were they all goofing off at the gallows?
TT: Finally, what would he have done had Quasimodo and Phoebus NOT found the court? Wander around the sewer for the rest of the day?
GG: That does sound kind of silly :P
GT: That villainous two-faced toad-spotted mammet!
GT: Soliciting sexual favors from a lady in exchange for her life, how low can you sink!
GT: Why, I would need more then twelve bullets to properly express my disgust for this man!
GG: woof!
TG: I would pull that goofy hat so far down it would hang around his neck like a fucking loony toon and….
TG: Oh my god Jade, did you just bark? That is so cute <3
TT: Put in her situation I just might descend again and violate him with eldritch horrors beyond his imagination.
TG: ok shows over lalonde wins
TG: why even bother intimidating a fictional character if lalonde can remind us of her grimdark-tentacle-rape-phase
GG: Dear god, what an intense stare she gives him after spitting in his face.
GG: She is incredibly brave to defy him, even on the pyre. I am not sure if I would be able to do something like that.
GT: You are braver then you give yourself credit for Jane
EB: i don’t know…… do you think they used enough chains?
GG: Ah ha!
GG: Madame Hatson, I found the solution to our conundrum regarding the gargoyles!
TG: Taking notes right now Mrs Holmes.
GG: The gargoyles speak to no one but Quasimodo throughout the entire movie.
GG: They seem to be able to ignore laws of physics.
GG: They are perfectly aware of Quasimodo’s mental state and seem to be voices of reason, impulse and ideal.
GG: And once Quasimodo loses all hope they return to stone.
TG: Notes taken. Conclusion?
GG: I conclude that the gargoyles are somehow tied to Quasimodo’s psyche.
GG: Well, Mrs Lalonde?
TT: You are entirely correct. Clearly the title of gumshoe is well-deserved.
GG: Hoo hoo hoo.
TT: The fact that they indeed appear as statues to everyone else suggests they are a delusion brought on by Quasimodo’s isolation.
TT: Supporting this theory is that they seem to represent the three levels of our psyche; the id, the ego and the superego.
TG: So this means Quasi is crazy?
TT: To an extent. He is clearly capable of forming connections with people, but he isn’t all there.
TT: Perhaps you remember cast away where Tom Hanks became so delusional he started befriending a volleyball he named Wilson?
TT: It is a similar condition.
TG: Huh….. That really is kinda dark.
GG: It changes the whole dynamic between their interactions. It was all Quasimodo talking to himself!
GT: Oh my god, he had three voices in his head singing to him
GT: And all the voices were him
GT: How must that feel?
TT: Boy that fire is taking it’s sweet time.
TG: oh it was raining the night before
TG: you know how it goes
TG: wood gets all moist
TG: completely ruins your barbeque, and/or pyre
TT: I lived on the ocean. Trust me, I know.
GT: Talk about a slasher smile
GT: Frollo is turning downright scary now
EB: quasi smash!
EB: I don’t get it; didn’t he lose all hope?
EB: “it’s over. frollo won.” That whole spiel.
EB: why does he suddenly decide; “screw it, I’m taking action anyway”.
GG: He heard the latin chanting begin and decided to spring into action.
TT: Well….. I am relatively sure there is supposed to be a song here.
TT: What makes you say that?
TT: It is an educated guess, seeing as it seems we are missing some character development here. No writer will allow a character to go from utterly devastated to heroic second wind in a span of seconds.
TT: Well, either that or Quasi didn’t realize it was serious business until the flames were tickling Esmeralda’s feet.
TT: Considering his intellectual limitations, also a very real possibility yes.
TT: Ok no…… What rope is long enough to bring him from the top of the tower to the center of the square?
GG: dirk, quiet.
GG: it is so exciting!
TT: …..I suppose it is.
GG: still…. kind of weird how he releases esmeralda without untying any knots……
TT: Atta girl.
GG: YAAAAAAAAY
GG: SHE’S SAFE!
EB: i see that, please stop yelling!
TG: lmao, John, your ectosister is really adorable.
TG: ok you got the girl
TG: go you
TG: what about the evil motherfucker with an army and plenty of people to execute downstairs
TG: They can take our lives, but they can never take OUR FREEDOM
TT: that guard A) just happened to carry the keys and B) carries them in such a way that Phoebus can snatch them in 3 seconds flat.
GG: Ironically, Frollo caused so much damage to Paris that the people of the city and the gypsies they previously perceived as evil band together to bring an end to his regime.
GT: I am somewhat lost
GT: Is a judge supposed to have so much power?
TG: Like my fellow Lalonde said, he’s supposed to be the religious leader of the city, not a judge.
GT: Ok
GT: ……..
GT: So is a religious leader supposed to have so much power?
GG: Wait, if the gargoyles were supposed to be Quasimodo’s imaginary friends, how do they defend the castle?
TT: Lazy writing.
TT: Movie doesn’t know proper French.
TG: yeah I don’t care what disney says about it
TG: people fucking die there
TG: quasi is killing them with molten metal
TT: Points for effectiveness though.
TG: at what point do the soldiers raise their hands saying
TG: fuck it I aint doing this shit
TG: getting molten metal poured over my head
TG: ye olde french healthcare aint covering this
TG: that stuff hurts like a motherfucker
TT: Considering Frollo IS the archdeacon in the books, I really wish this scene was more fleshed out, because this is the point of no return for the character.
TT: He lays siege on Notre Dame and violently shoves the archdeacon aside, rejecting what was left of his humanity and shoving aside the person who basically represents his morality.
TT: He can no longer hide behind his faith for his actions; this is the character at his core.
TT: You mean he’s an asshole.
GT: Alright chaps
GT: Having seen my fair share of movies I would like a show of hands
GT: Who here honestly believes Esmeralda has perished
TT: ……………..
TG: …………….
GG: ………………
EB: ……………..
TG:
TT: ……………..
GG: but I feel so sorry for quasi. she was the first friend he ever made :(
GT: but you do not believe she is dead correct?
GG: no not really
GT: Jolly, we’re all on the same wavelength
TT: You know, instead of gloating Frollo could just stab him, then and there.
TT: He could claim it was the gypsy, and he murdered her in self-defense. 17th century france did not have great forensics.
TT: No? He’ll keep on gloating?
TT: Alright, then he’ll completely deserve what’s coming.
TG: come on
TG: stab him and be done with it
TG: You know….. Quasi’s right. The only reason the world is dark is because of people like Frollo……. Or the Batterbitch……… Or Caliborn.
TG: Point is, we can shape that shit now.
TG: We can rock this bitch, whip it into shape and built an asshole-free society.
TG: what
TG: youre not gonna allow me and bro to live there?
GG: to do that I think we’ll need more than 8 people.
TT: Well, eventually biology will take its course I assume.
TT: Do you mean ectobiology or biology-biology?
EB: we’ll see that when we get there. it wasn’t that long ago since I saw us all as babies, I think I’ll be fine without that for a while.
TG: I wasn’t saying we should rush it.
GT: Guys, I really appreciate these talks, but the movie is about to conclude
GT: if we could direct our attention there for a spell, that would be grand
TG: not the best hiding place quasi
EB: where the hell did frollo get a sword? was he carrying both that and the dagger?
EB: what happened to love thine enemy? turn the other cheek?
EB: where does the bible say; should thine dagger fail thou must resort to thine sword?
TG: LMAO
GG: No that’s fine Quasimodo, keep swinging the woman with severe carbon monoxide poisoning around like a ragdoll.
GG: I am sure that this somehow will be beneficial for her health, really clears out the airways.
GT: The epic latin chanting is at its most epic
GT: Gadzooks this is turning into a most splendid conclusion
TG: frollo seems to be channeling a sith lord here
TT: That off-hand remark about his clone army suddenly seems a lot less funny
TT: Must be one strong piece of cloth, and an iron grip to hold on like that.
EB: oh hello satan.
TG: i was gonna say the joker
TG: I was going to say emporer Palpatine
TT: Act of god, called it.
EB: funny, i don’t remember doing anything.
EB: eh?
EB: eh?
TG: john
TG: no
TG: that was never funny
EB: i disagree
GG: I disagree
TG: also deathscene largely stolen from lion king
GT: Somewhat ironic that he fell the moment he uttered those words right?
GT: And he shall smite the wicked and cast them to the fiery pit
GT: Then he falls and lands in a fiery pit
TT: …..English.
GT: Yes Rose
TT: I do not wish to rain on your metaphorical parade, but that was indeed the intent of the movie.
GT: Ah ha!
GT: So I totally called that one *double pistols and a wink*
TT: Good grief….
TT: And so he falls, smitten into the fiery pit.
GT: Yes, that’s what I said
TT: …………………………….
TG: Don’t take it personally ectosister, he doesn’t know.
TG: Sorry, I never asked, but do you mind?
TG: Can I call you sister?
TT: I don’t see why not. If you’ll forgive me however, I’ll just stick with Roxy for now.
TG: That’s cool sis :)
GG: oh, oh, does that mean I can call Jake brother?
EB: i thought i was your sorta brother.
GG: well, our family just got a little bigger :)
GG: what do you say Jake?
GT: I
GT: Well, that uhm
GT: That would be mighty kind
GT: It has been a long time since I had family
GT: I am not quite sure how to react
EB: just a brotherly hug next time you see us would do.
GT: *grabs handkerchief and whips manly tear*
EB: well that settles it.
EB: what about you Jane?
GG: Well…… It would be an incredibly strange idea to suddenly become related to the boy I had a crush on for so long.
GG: However, I would be honored if you would treat me as part of your family.
GG: alright! :)
GG: i got a new brother and sister today!
GG: best :)
GG: day :)
GG: ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GG: Well, you are not my poppop, or Jake’s grandmother….. And we’re not the beta timeline equivalent of those roles either. But I think we can make this work.
TT: That just leaves the Striders I suppose. What do you say Roxy?
TG: I dunno sis…… Do we WANT them as part of the Lalondes?
TG: please
TG: we dont need that kinda crap
TG: You don’t?
TT: Nah. We realized pretty much as soon as this shithive convo started. Us being brothers didn’t stop being a thing.
TT: It probably never stopped being a thing
TG: word
TG: your welcome to join us if you like
TT: I think we’re good.
TG: Oh my god Rosie, let’s join them.
TT: I’m not giving Dave the satisfaction of calling me a Strider.
TG: oh right
TG: movie was still happening
EB: so how’s that nearly fatal chest injury treating you phoebus?
GT: And so Quasimodo gives them his blessing
TG: yeah
TG: after realizing she is indeed way out of his league
GT: I like to think it’s because he gained some respect for Phoebus
TG: i think my interpretation is more fun
TT: Huh….. Well, does anyone have any experience with being friendzoned like this, so we can determine whether or not this is an accurate reaction?
GG: for science :3
TT: For science.
TG: So Jade, about that dancing I mentioned.
GG: yes?
TG: I was thinking, do you have any idea what sort of dance you want to learn? I kinda need to read up on it myself soooo......
GG: oh anything will do really :)
GG: i’m a bit clumsy so something for beginners would be nice.
TG: Right, I’ll scourge the interwebs for something fun!
TT: Subject switched in 2.4 seconds. Might be a new record.
GG: Dirk, if you shut your speech hole about friendzones this instant, I’ll make you cupcakes.
TT: The ones with the orange frosting?
GG: The very same.
TT: Sold.
TT: And of course, there is one innocent soul in the crowd who accepts him.
GG: Is that so strange?
TT: Not really. The ending is a lot more hopeful than the original novel.
TT: Unfortunately, that hope leads to the Hunchback of Notre Dame 2
TG: That bad sis?
TT: Oh you have no idea.
TG: John, do you happen to have that movie?
EB: what, hunchback 2?
TG: Yeah.
EB: nah, I only have pirates of the Caribbean on my laptop.
EB: well, that and the complete work of nicholas cage.
TG: Well…… Would you like to watch any of those movies after this?
EB: would I?
EB: i’d love to!
TG: Really?
EB: yeah. i’ve been dying to show someone how awesome national treasure is!
TG: Pft…Pffffft…..
EB: er, roxy?
TG: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
TG: I’m sorry John, but that’s just so dorky, I am laughing my ass off here.
GG: I can confirm that she indeed seems to be making quite a mess of herself.
EB: hey, don’t hate on national treasure.
EB: That movie is one of the most awesome films ever. easily 10/10
TG: I won’t hate, but I will make fun of it if it’s goofy.
EB: ha! you wouldn’t be able to!
TG: Oh really?
TG: Even if it’s is really silly?
EB: no, you still would enjoy the movie! in fact, i will personally ensure you enjoy like never before!
TG: Oh my…… That sounds intriguing ;)
EB: huh? Why what did i say?
TG:
TG: goddamnit john
TG: even English caught that innuendo
GT: Why, what’d my new brother say?
TG: I stand corrected
TT: And that was the Hunchback of Notre Dame
TT: Showing that the line between monster and man is not based on the way they look or their status.
TG: you mean just like in pocohontas
TG: beauty and the beast
TG: lady and the tramp
TG: aladdin
GG: Dave, quiet now.
TG: why is everyone trying to keep me quiet
GG: Because you ruin the mood.
TG: im just sayin
TG: this particular message has been done to death
TT: Actually, I agree on that.
TG: wait you do
TT: Yes. I just think that out of all disney movies this one portrays it best, with the possible exception of Beauty and the Beast.
TG: you have a thing for heroes with issues you know
TG: belles Stockholm
TG: quasis imaginary friends
TT: I just love vulnerable minds.
TG: ok
TG: stop looking at me when you say shit like that
TG: john bro
TG: help me out here
EB: well I really enjoyed the movie.
TG: no, I mean get this lalonde of my back
TG: she looks like a cat seconds away from swallowing a defenseless canary
TG: what will you say to the poor kid who bought that bird
TG: sorry junior
TG: sylvester ate tweety
TG: circle of life is a bitch like that
EB: well rose don’t…… eat dave I guess?
TT: Shoot.
EB: regardless, I really enjoyed it. i think i saw it once before, but really…. i don’t think i understood half of it as a kid.
TG: well you were a dumb kid
EB: are you sure this was a kid’s movie?
TT: I am.
EB: dear god….. which is us.
EB: eh?
TT: Still not funny bro.
EB: well, what about you then dirk?
TT: I had a really good time with the movie.
GG: what!?
GG: but you were nitpicking on every little detail it got wrong
GG: even when it wasn’t important at all!
TT: I am a very anal person.
TG: i
TG: you
TG: now you are just taking the piss
TT: Rose was correct; you are easy to rile up brother.
TG: oh god
TG: am i going to have to play this mind game bullshit from two sides now
TG: my heart cannot take that
TG: i’m moving in with my other sister
TT: Don’t be like that bro.
TT: We totally need to rap after the movie.
TG: dude really
TT: What, to weird?
TG: no its just very pre-scratch you
TT: Sweet.
GG: what did you think about the movie newest brother?
GT: Oh what I thought about it?
GG: Don’t bother Jade. Jake enjoys every movie unironically.
GT: I am perfectly capable of critical thought, thank you
GT: It just so happens that I really enjoyed the movie
GT: A complete coincidence, I assure you
GG: Oh, I’m sure it is.
GG: well, what about you then, newest sister?
GG: Eheh, I am still a bit iffy on the whole brother-sister thing jade…. Nothing personal.
GG: oh, that’s ok…..
GG: Just a matter of getting used to I imagine.
GG: well then Jane, how did you like the movie?
GG: Honestly, it was quite exciting to see a movie that wasn’t approved and censored by Betty Crocker.
GG: It had a very childlike sense of awe and wonder while having mature themes I was not expecting.
GG: Really, quite a memorable film.
GT: I concur
GT: The epic music as well as the memorable portrayal of the Notre Dame itself truly make this a worthwhile film
TT: So everyone enjoyed it?
TG: Seems so sis.
TT: That’s a shame…. I was looking forward to discussing about different interpretations.
TG: please save that for your book club
GG: oh, oh rose. does that mean we can go watch bambi now?
TT: You are still interested in that?
GG: well, i hope you don’t mind……
TT: Not at all. Go make some popcorn, and I’ll meet you soon.
GG: yay!
--gardenGnostic [GG] left memo--
GT: Excuse me, but what exactly is a Bambi?
TT: A film following the life of a deer and the struggles the wild presents him with.
GT: Told entirely from the perspective of that animal?
TT: More or less.
GT: What a novel concept
GT: Would you mind if I joined you?
TT: I am sure Jade will be delighted to watch another movie with her brother.
GT: Jolly
GT: I’ll see if I can help Jade set up then
GT: Good day
--golgothasTerror [JE] left memo--
TT: Well, I guess that means the party is over.
EB: eh more or less i suppose.
EB: it was fun getting to know you alphas
TT: Likewise. Oh and Dave?
TG: sup
TT: Want to go rap about the movie?
TG: what
TT: I mean, it’s cool if you don’t want to hang out and shit.
TT: But I’m pretty sure we can remix some of the songs into sick beats.
TG: dude
TG: you were serious
TG: thats supposed to be a question asked in disbelief
TT: Well, if you don’t want to I can just to tinker with some robots.
TG: lets do this
TT: …….Alright.
TT: Just another night in Paris, the city were the love is, a couple gypsies sneak inside.
TG: now see g
TG: Judge Claude Frollo
TG: gave a vast hell no
TG: and he caught the fuckers of their ride
TT: Then the mother got away, but she had a price to pay, cause nobody in Paris cares
TG: the woman slipped and fell and died
TG: as her entrance was denied
TG: shit we could’ve warned her bout those stairs
--turntechGodhead [TG] was banned from memo--
--timeausTestified [DS] was banned from memo--
TT: No. No, we are not having that
TG: LMAO, Rosie, why did you do that.
GG: Hoo hoo hoo, those Striders and their shenanigans.
GG: I bet Dirk will be just a handful now that he’s teamed up with his ectobrother.
EB: that just means we need to start the prankwars and not let them get the initiative!
GG: Oh, I fully agree John. But I just don’t know where to start.
GG: The amount of pranks we could pull if we teamed up are truly staggering.
GG: I would dare say, it would be all of them; all of the pranks.
EB: that sure is a lot of pranking.
GG: Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
TT: …..To postpone our demise by terrible pranks, might I suggest you join me, Jade and English Jane?
GG: I did promise to bake Dirk cupcakes……
GG: If you postpone the movie just a tidbit, I’ll bake a fresh batch and bring some to the next get-together.
TG: OMFG, Rosie, do it.
TG: I swear to god, her cupcakes are divine.
EB: no need to swear to us.
TT: Finger hovering over the ban button John.
EB: I’ll behave.
TT: That sounds wonderful Jane.
TT: Would you terribly mind if I joined you?
GG: How so?
TT: I would like to help you bake.
GG: Well, that would be delightful.
EB: rose, i didn’t know you liked baking?
TT: Well, I don’t know if I don’t try.
GG: This is your first time?
TT: Afraid so. If you mind, I’ll just pester Jake and Jade until you’re done.
GG: I do not mind at all Rose. And since it’s your first time, I’ll be gentle.
GG: You can even lick the spoon clean.
TT: Thanks….. I think?
TG: Oh Rose, you’re so lucky.
GG: I’ll go on ahead and prepare the kitchen! See you in a bit!
--gutsyGumshoe [JC] left memo--
TT: (Roxy.)
TG: (Yeah sis?)
TT: (Are you serious? About John I mean.)
TG: (Well….. I am not, stepping on any toes right?)
TG: (Cause if you have dibbs I won’t push it. I don’t want to hurt my new sister.)
TT: (And I don’t want to see my sister hurt herself. No, I do not have any romantic feelings for John.)
TG: (Well, that’s great!)
TG: (I mean uhm….. Ok.)
TT: (So are you serious about him or are you just playing around.)
TG: (Well…… I don’t really know. He’s really hunky, and super sweet and funny…. )
TG: (But I am kinda scared I’ll do something wrong or scare him off.)
TT: (So you really are serious.)
TG: (I guess…….)
TT: (Can I make a suggestion, from sister to sister?)
TG: (Omfg you called me sister too <3)
TT: (Sweet as he is, John is a little dense.)
TT: (Be direct and tell him that you have a romantic interest in her.)
TG: (Her?)
TT: (Him. I mean him. It’s some very valuable advice I received a not too long ago. I hope it serves you well.)
TG: (Thanks Rosie.)
TG: (I was really scared you wouldn’t be cool with it.)
TT: (Just go get him ;))
TG: (Ok, wauw, Dave was right. That is kinda awkward.)
EB: guys are you still there?
TT: Sorry, I had Jade in a private chat.
EB: oh, is cool.
TT: Regardless, I am going to help Jane with her cupcakes.
TT: I won’t make any promises but I shall TRY not to turn our kitchen into a warzone.
EB: oh that always happens, especially during the first try.
TT: Thanks for the vote of confidence.
TT: See you soon John.
EB: right, see you soon.
--tentacleTherapist [TT] left memo--
EB: so, i think that was everyone.
TG: Yup, pretty much.
EB: sooooo now what?
EB: you still want to watch national treasure?
TG: I’d love to John.
EB: great, i’ll start up the stream right now.
EB: you’ll see; you can’t hate on this movie.
TG: Actually, John.
TG: Could we perhaps, watch it elsewhere?
TG: In private maybe?
EB: oh sure.
EB: i think jade and jake are hogging the main tv for bambi now, but i got a small tv in my room.
EB: the sound isn’t great and the image isn’t as sharp but it works.
TG: Your room?
EB: yeah. would that be ok?
TG: Actually, I think that would be great.
TG: I’ll be over in a bit ;)
--tipsyGnostic [TG] left memo--
--ectoBiologist [EB] closed memo--
--tipsyGnostic [TG] began pestering timeausTestified [DS]--
TG: OMFG DIRK HALP.
--timeausTestified [DS] changed screenname to auto-Responder [AR]--
AR: It seems you are trying to reach Dirk Strider. However, the main man is busy in one of the illest rap-offs in paradox space history.
AR: Tags include but are not limited to: Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame, bitches, hoes, money, Houston, Time, Heart, Snoop_Dogg, Obama, Harry_Potter, Chuck_Norris, Rainbow_Dash, cosmetics, horseplay, China, skippyballs and lolcats.
TG: OMFG NOBODY CARES.
TG: DIRK IF YOU RAED THIZ.
TG: YOU
TG: ME
TG: FEELINGSJAM
TG: 3 HOURS.
TG: KBYE.
--tipsyGnostic [TG] ceased pestering auto-Responder [AR]--
AR: Well that was just rude.