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Bruises and blackened veins littered AJ’s body, of course they couldn’t be seen, her clothes covered most of her skin. A long sleeve on her right arm, a glove on the left, long pants; it’s just her style, it’s what a tinkerer wears, right?
Yeah sure, her memories are already fading, she doesn’t even remember the building blocks of one of the relationships that is the most important to her. She’s forgetting Drift – Open Book – let’s be realistic, she doesn’t even remember why she calls her that anymore, nor their first time meeting, nor their first date. Hell, AJ barely even remembers the times where everything was civil, calm, almost domestic between them.
It’s hard to remember the good times when a core reason she doesn’t use her magic is because she buried her lover.
The forgetting started small, first just blips, little lapses or gaps in her memory that could easily be excused by the heavy drinking. Then she forgot Drift, little by little, forgetting until now she barely remembers her at all.
If someone were to ask AJ a few weeks ago to describe Drift to them, she’d probably immediately say she’s an open book, that she’s sassy, she only leads with her heart, not her head, but also that she’s brave, courageous and secretly almost addictive. She’d likely also be able to list off her appearance to a T, light brown eyes that glowed in the sun, chocolate brown hair with waves like the soft ripples in the water, the way her cheeks crease inward every so slightly when she smiles.
However, if you were to ask her now, she’d braw to a blank, unable to tell you about who she is in her soul, not her eye colour, not her smile, not the safety Drift made her feel even in the direst times.
AJ won’t even be able to tell you why she feels so drawn to the moon.
Aj hates her magic, it destroys everything around her, maybe because it reflects how she ruins things as soon as they get good, maybe because it reflects how erratic she can get, maybe because it reflects the explosive highs and the destructive lows she experiences like a rollercoaster she can’t get off of.
So, when she woke up and felt pins and needles on her hands the aching and crushing pain in her bones the numbness in her feet unable to feel the solid floor underfoot, her first thought was because of the three day bender she had whilst secluding herself in her room.
She wasn’t stupid though, she’d been recklessly drinking for years, it never ended like this. Her second thought was her magic; she hadn’t used it in weeks apart from calling for flick; it made her internally beat herself up for pushing it this far. Then came her skin, greying and turning to a deep, ashen colour, having the texture of porous soot and dirt.
In the mirror, it was worse than she originally expected. It climbed up her legs, splaying across her hips, bleeding and infecting her skin like a disease. She was fermenting in rapid time, wrinkling and writhing away from what people call living.
Pat pat pat the soft sound of knocking at her dorm door snapped her out of the grotesque trance she got stuck in.
“Shit…” she hissed, the rustling of a jumper and pants being rapidly dressed in could be heard while trying to hide this… disturbing sight.
“AJ, open up, I can hear you padding around in your loft.” Megii’s vociferate voice could be heard from the other side of her door followed by the raps of her fist knocking of the wood again. “AJ, I will let myself in if you don’t get down here, I haven’t seen you in three days, no one has.”
Megii was clearly in a mood, she sounded frustrated, AJ didn’t remember doing anything to annoy her – not that she’d remember it either way. She let out a sharp huff of air as she quickly exited the loft and yanked the door open. “Megii! Didn’t expect to see you here today.”
When Megii saw her, the anger in her eyes momentarily vanished, replaced with mild shock and confusion. She stepped closer, forcing her way into the decay mage’s dorm to get a proper look at her. “AJ, what happened? Why are you wearing a jumper and pants, it’s so stuffy and hot in your room.” She paused, looking at her in the light, the deep concave of circles under her eyes, the greying tone to her skin, the dull, lifeless glare to her eyes, God she looked horrible.
She stumbled closer, and closer again, her hand coming up to feel the rough fabric of the jumper. Come to think of it, this didn’t look like one of AJ’s jumpers, this was one of Drift’s, one that hadn’t been seen in weeks after a mysterious disappearance.
That didn’t matter, what mattered was she was looking ill, so fucking ill. If Megii didn’t know any better, she’d think that she was staring back at a living body that was already dead.
AJ stepped further back into my room favouring her left side even though she couldn’t even feel the ground beneath her feet. It was as if she had lost all connection to the lower half of her body, from her knees down was static buzzing inside her skin; above the knee felt like maggots under her skin, slowly eating away at the feeling of her body.
“So… Megii, what did you want to see me about? I mean I know you’re obsessed with me, can’t leave me alone for even a second.” AJ tired to put on her flirty, careless façade, like she was invincible and nothing could get to her. The Decay Mage knew that Megii could tell her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, that Megii could tell her words were an act.
“Don’t be a dick, AJ. I’m being serious! What’s going on with you?” The Woodland Mage snapped, pausing for a moment before stepping closer again, “No one’s seen you in days, your room reeks of alcohol and cigarettes, you’re wearing Drift’s jumper, you look like you can barely walk for gods sake!”
She let out a sharp breath, stepping closer again, fidgeting with her hands as she tried to get through to the Mage before her. “You can talk to me AJ, you can be honest. I’m here for you no matter what. I’m unconditional, remember?”
The care, anger and worry all swirling behind her eyes, her thoughts all morphing into one.
‘Are AJ’s memories getting worse? Is her magic why this is happening? Why won’t she just stop being so stubborn and talk to me?’
The Decay Mage scoffed, her eyes narrowing as her already short temper whittled thinner with every word Megii said.
‘Why is she still pressing this? Shut up, Megii, just shut up, shut up. Leave me alone, stop worrying about me.’
“Megii, we’ve spoke about this, I’m fine. I was just drinking too much. Had a bit of a bender, I’m… I’m so fine, I’m amazing, actually. And I’m not limping; I just slept funny.” She protested, though the conviction was not present. Deep down she knew that this wouldn’t work on Megii, it would never work on her, it never has.
The longer they stood, the more AJ felt her balance teetering off to her left, she left increasingly uneasy with the fact that she could not seem to feel her body. Is the decay making her body worse? She didn’t want to accept the answer she already knew was true.
“AJ stop lying to me! I’m so sick and fucking tired of you acting like everything’s fine when nothing is fine!” Megii exploded, she couldn’t manage seeing her… best friend fall apart and not let anyone help.
“Seriously just drop it! I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this, Megii-!”
“Magpie! My name is Magpie, AJ. You can’t even use my name, so do not, even for a second think I won’t be worried about you!”
AJ fell silent, her mouth agape for a beat before she clenched it shut. She hadn’t even realised that Megii would be so bothered about it. If the corruption were truly trying to get the phrase, then she didn’t want to be the person to let it take it.
“AJ, just let me help you, don’t be so fucking stubborn and just fucking talk to me!” Magpie’s chest heaved as she stared at the Mage in front of her. She wouldn’t let her fade away, she won’t let her forget everything, she wouldn’t let her ferment under the guise of her own magic.
“I-… I’m not doing this with you, Meg- Magpie. I’ve got stuff to do.” AJ spat, making her way over to the door, the limp worsening, her balance buckling under her for a hair of a second before she got it under control again.
She could barely register the tingling feeling of Magpie grabbing her wrist until she felt herself unable to move. Her eyes went from the door back to the Mage. “Let me go, Magpie.”
“No! I will not let you run away again, not now, not ever.”
“You don’t get to decide that for me, let me go yourself or I will find a way for you to do it myself.”
Magpie paused, her grip faltering for a fleeting second before she remained steadfast. AJ hadn’t even realised the tears forming in the women’s eyes before her, maybe Magpie hadn’t either. It didn’t matter to her either way, she was scared, terrified.
Neither spoke for a long while before the Decay Mage used all her strength to yank herself away from the Woodland Mage.
“Don’t walk away from me, AJ.”
“I already have, Magpie.”
With that, the door slammed shut, leaving Magpie alone in AJ’s dorm. Surrounded with empty glass bottles, extinguished cigarettes and multiple Flicks, she was silent, tears slowly welling before she let out a small huff of anger.