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There was a quiet sort of loneliness to it, waking up alone. Prior to his courtship with Sonic, Shadow would never have considered the possibility. The house was his. Virtually everything in it was his property, including this bed. This was his shelter, where he had spent countless years alone beforehand, left to do whatever he pleased. That was the way he'd liked it.
And yet, Shadow woke up to nothing but his partner's imprint at his side, and the first emotion he processed was loneliness. It came before yearning. It came before speculation. And it certainly came before any sort of urge to get up and track Sonic down. The blue blur was not here. That was all that mattered.
Shadow stared into the imprint in the sheets. Sonic had not even left him a quill behind, scolded one too many times for not picking up the loose sheds. All Shadow had was his shape, and he stared into it for many moments, trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He could lay here, perhaps drift into another mockery of sleep. Or he could get up, face the early morning with coffee and toast, and try to deduce where Sonic had gone.
The decision was made for him. The next time Shadow opened his eyes, the light streaming through the window had grown brighter, and the morning birds had hushed. It was then that he forced himself up, palms splayed in the sheets as he cursed. 10:09 stared apathetically at him from the digital clock.
10:09 am, and still no Sonic.
Shadow could wonder, as he lumbered down the hall, when so much of his day began to revolve around that blue goofball. It was unlike him, in theory, to miss or yearn for anything on this planet. But Shadow had known companionship before. He had once felt this, amidst physical tests and fearful derision from all other faces but one.
That was in another life. Yet he'd known it still, and he would be a fool to act as if he didn't understand this. Like energy, emotions were just something that could be changed— in this case, kept safe in his heart until Sonic could worm his way in.
Many suns ago, Shadow had laid beside that sleeping body, staring, and pointedly wondered, What in Chaos' name did you do to me?
Now his mind was set largely on coffee, as he made his way into the kitchen. The lights were off, save for the most important one over the sink. It illuminated the coffee machine and Shadow sighed knowingly at a mug sitting out. Its contents always grew cold before Shadow woke, anymore. Yet Sonic still tried.
He picked the mug up, and sniffed at the coffee within. Sure enough, the sharp bite of peppermint scent filled his nostrils, and Shadow pulled back with a creaturely snuff. Sonic could never leave well enough alone. The blue blur didn't like anything caffeinated, but he somehow disliked Shadow's taste for black coffee even more.His determination to show Shadow "the light" kept their rivalry alive, in times where they shared a bed.
Shadow dumped the mug's contents into the sink. As the Ultimate Lifeform, he was immune to food poisoning, but he still had no desire to drink sweetened coffee left out at room temperature.
When Sonic returned home, he'd be awarded with a whack upside his big, dumb, meddling head. This decision gave Shadow the peace to move forward.
As if he had needed to clear his mind to notice it, Shadow became acutely aware of the television in the living room. It was on, spewing the sound of muffled dialogue and raucous laughter. He headed there next, staring into the screen as one of Sonic's favorite comedy shows played on. Shadow couldn't remember the name of this one. But the idea that Sonic had stopped to watch T.V. before vanishing was so like him.
He glanced to the door and he thought, again, about going to find the deserted buffoon. It wouldn't be hard. Sonic left a trail of minute Chaos energy wherever he went— detectible only by someone like Shadow. But just as he'd begun to put one foot forward, something buzzed from the coffee table. Loud, annoying, and— well, Shadow hadn't quite realized he'd left his phone out here overnight, but now he was well aware.
Rouge's caller I.D. blinked up at him, that suave smiling face melting any annoyance at being pushed off path.
"Hey, moper," She greeted, and Shadow's right ear tuned into the sound of her wings flapping, "How's domestic life treating ya?"
"Kaleidoscopic." He responded— half flat, half earnest. A smirk pulled at his lips even still. "Not as cozy as you made it out to be."
Her wings stopped flapping as she touched down somewhere— on concrete, by the sound of it. "Well, if Big Blue hasn't run you out of the house, I'd say it's going well. Anyways, I don't have much time."
Shadow grunted non-committally. "You still on that wild goose chase?"
"Ugh. You know I am. I think I'm ready to retire, Shadow. I've made enough money."
"Right, and enough money is something that exists in your world."
She chuckled. A zipper jostled on the other line. "Glad you still remember me. Hey, go ahead and put Big Blue on."
At this, Shadow paused. "…Why?"
"I found something out here that he'll really want to know about."
Cryptic— that was her to the last. Shadow rubbed his nose with a finger, staring out at the side door. "He's not here."
"Typical." Rouge huffed. "You want to play messenger then?"
Not really. "Hmph. Fine."
"Camel's Bar and Grill in San Diego, California." Something about the way she purred those words out made Shadow's eyes narrow. "He should know the rest."
Those two had their own conversations going on. Shadow never cared for deducing them, and he certainly didn't care to pry. One wild goose chase between the two of them was enough. "Right."
"Anyway, go and find him. I've gotta zip." A bag shuffled. "I'll stop by when I'm back, yeah? It's been too long."
That, at the very least, was welcome news. Shadow only grunted in return, tossing the phone. His eyes hadn't left the side door, watching the trees and grass dance outside.
…It seemed a nice enough day to go out, find Sonic, and whack him upside the head. Then, maybe, pass along Rouge's message.
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At times, Shadow didn't understand why humans described the air with words like "crisp" or "fresh". But the former was the first word that appeared to him when he stepped outside. It breathed sweet and light, without the oppressive humidity that had clung to the Earth for the past week. Shadow was more than glad for it as he headed down the porch steps. This kind of weather made it feel like anything was possible.
He barely bothered to reach the end of the driveway before he kicked on his air shoes, sparks scattering underfoot as he skated away from home. The world blurred into colors and light, and this didn't stop until Shadow did, on the city's edge. The buildings here touched the sky, with a promised commotion within its walls that already had the hedgehog's head aching. He didn't want to stick around— and knowing Sonic, neither would he.
Just as he was prepared to zip right through it, however, he felt a sudden buzzing around his wrist. It took the Ultimate Lifeform a split second to remember he'd grabbed a Communicator on the way out. A good choice: Sonic was trying to call. Two seconds later, his happy mug eclipsed every inch of the screen.
"Yo, yo," He greeted as cooly as ever, "Look who decided to pick up."
Shadow's tail was wagging, even as he feigned annoyance. "Look who rushed out of the house at five in the morning."
"Hah. Hey, if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have witnessed this." Sonic turned his wrist to point the camera towards a massive flock of geese currently conquering the pond. They were wandering up further and further onto the grass, making anyone nearby quickly pack their things and create distance. "There's about to be a real turf war over here!"
Ah. So he was at the park. Typical.
"So, what do ya think? Should I intervene? Teach the geese about the wonders of sharing? Or do you think the humans have got it covered?"
"I think you should leave my coffee alone."
Sonic whipped the camera back around toward his face. "What? Was that me?" He feigned confusion, a hand to his chest. "I don't think that was me, Shads. You might have a ghost. A peppermint loving ghost."
"I never said it was peppermint."
For a few ultimately-satisfying seconds, Sonic froze in place like a dog caught in the act. "Not a ghost then." He murmured, and that silly grin was back. "Just a really handsome jokester."
"And a massive pain in my-"
"Oh, by the way!" Sonic earned a deeply unsatisfied groan from his interruption, "You want me to grab some of that scent stuff on the way home?"
"Lavender?"
"Yeah, that."
Shadow's nose twitched. "It doesn't matter if you do. I can just as easily grab some on my- what's that about?"
Sonic had paused with a hand on his arm, face slacking from a deep grimace as he blinked at the camera. "Uhh… it's nothin'." The gloved hand squeezed at his shoulder once more and he winced. Shadow almost rolled his eyes.
"Did you take a tumble down a hill or something?"
"Nope." Sonic replied. His hand slipped off the wounded shoulder and he seemed to chew the side of his cheek for a second. "Hey, did you wake up with, like, any pain this morning?"
"…No?"
"Ah. Good, good. That's good. I was just wondering, because my arm has been doing this weird thing today."
Almost involuntarily, Shadow tilted his head.
"Like. It started out kinda prickly, so I just kinda assumed I laid on it weird. But I dunno. Now my back hurts, too. Startin' to think I'm coming down with something, heh." He glanced back up at the camera, and chortled at the scrunched nose that Shadow had adopted. "Gee, Shads. If it bothers you that much, I'll pay for a room until it's over. I'm just sayin'. Maybe something's going around."
Shadow's scrunch nose was only happening because he was furrowing his brows. Because he was thinking, digging into knowledge that was decades old and had only been heard in passing eavesdrop. What could the symptoms be pointing to? Pinched nerves, muscle strain- Shadow wouldn't put it past the buffoon… but his eyes flicked back down to the arm that Sonic had been holding onto. The left one, specifically, implied to be the culprit of this pain…
"Anyways, I'll see how I feel about the room when this run is over." Sonic interrupted yet again. "Sure would hate to miss out on all that cuddling you get up to if this is all just a false alarm."
Shadow's ears drooped. He showed his teeth in offense. "I do not cuddle." What a horrible word.
"Mhm! In your sleep. Bye!"
"Sonic-"
The communicator screen buzzed before it blipped into darkness. Sonic had hung up on him. Shadow growled, looking up from his reflection- out towards the hills placed perfectly beyond city limits, where he knew Sonic had gone. "Incorrigible buffoon." The hedgehog growled.
As his rocket shoes kicked back to life and he left scorch marks over the concrete, Shadow could only give part of his attention to the list of symptoms he had gathered.
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The park was a lot less crowded than he had been expecting when he finally approached the entrance. A lot of the morning's patrons were starting to clear out, and Shadow barely slowed down as he blazed past, ignoring their yelps and any calls they sent after him. It didn't matter. He had to find Sonic.
Almost immediately, he was scouring for his first clue. he scent of a hot dog stand caught his nose, and it was almost as if a flare went off in his mind. Where there were hot dogs, there were chili dogs, and anyone in the world would surmise that Sonic had likely bought one. Shadow tracked the scent, and happened upon a stand ran by a gangly looking young mouse— someone who was very openly unnerved to see him dash up to the counter.
"Um," The mouse squeaked, visibly sweatdropped, "Hello, sir. W-Welcome to-"
"I don't care." Shadow growled. "Has Sonic been here today?"
The attendant ducked his head as if a Chaos Spear was about to be sent through it. "Y-Yes, sir. He was here a-about an, um, an hour ago. I think."
Inwardly, Shadow cursed. An hour! Sonic could have zipped across the world at least forty times by then.
"Did you see where he was headed?" He asked next, brows pinched.
"Um. Yes. He had a c-crowd forming around, naturally, so he kinda went-" The attendant pointed out towards the less used trails, one in particular climbing up into the dark mountains, "-that way, to get away from 'em all."
For all his awkwardness, the kid was actually pretty observant. Shadow kept those dues in his head as he pulled away from the counter, speeding off without another word, not even a thank you.
The trail up the mountain was empty, which made perfect sense to Shadow. It was pretty dim up through here- not to mention the fitness level required to actually climb something this steep. But of course, his skates did all the work. Shadow broke out into the resting area in no time, and started to scan for blue quills. Nothing. But he didn't doubt Sonic had stopped here, if he'd been on this trail at all. There was a wonderful view down the mountain from the pavillion.
But there was no Sonic. So Shadow continued on. He started to prime his ears to catch the hum of Sonic's speed, especially as he looked down the path and saw the rolling fields ahead. The number of leaf-shedding trees grew smaller as he cut down the trail, and when he burst out into the sun again, it felt warmer now. Far warmer.
As far as the eye could see, still no sign of Sonic. But Shadow, instead, started to catch something else. A faint, familiar, sweet-smelling scent that, at first, he thought might belong to someone he knew. But then he realized the truth- it was lavender. A native patch of blooms, somewhere off in the distance. Maybe Sonic had gone there to hand pick them instead of getting something from the store.
But as if the world knew he was about to dash away again, his Communicator started to buzz once more. Shadow looked down and firmly hit answer. His ears perked as the hedgehog's face eclipsed the screen again- though this time, he seemed noticeably winded.
"Hey, Shads."
Shadow's eyes narrowed as they swept over the state of him. "The hell did you do?"
Sweat beaded across the blue blur's forehead. His brows were pinched, eyes squinty, mouth pulled into a tight grimace, and something about all of this made Shadow very tense. "Ehhh, come down with something?" Sonic responded cheekily, hoarsely. "This is getting worse, so. I guess I'm gonna leave here and get a room, h-heh."
Shadow's ear flicked. All at once, a horribly important feeling descended, made even stronger the more he stared into Sonic's eyes. He lifted the Communicator and cast his gaze out across the field. "Where are you, Sonic?"
"Uhhhh, I'm like-" He coughed into his arm for a second, "-geez. I'm kinda outside of the park limits, maybe a mile or two out? To the east, I think? Let's see, there's a lavender field here-"
Another flare went off in Shadow's head. "Stay there." He barked, and was already speeding off towards that sweet scent when Sonic protested.
"But Shadow-"
"Stay. There."
The hero's ears drooped forward, and he stuck his tongue out in silent complaint. "Fine." was his surrender, and the screen went dark before Shadow could tell him not to hang up.
He kicked his shoes into their highest gear, blazing a scorch mark through the grass and wholly uncaring. It didn't matter. Nothing in this entire day had mattered, except for finding Sonic. Which he needed to do, as fast as possible, because he was starting to feel like something was wrong. And his intuition was never off the mark.
Why he suddenly felt that this was something the headstrong idiot couldn't handle himself, Shadow couldn't be sure of. But he just wanted to find him.
He followed his nose, and sure enough, blooms of gallant purple started to dot the horizon. Shadow was a little awestruck to see what he did as he got closer. It hadn't been a field, as Sonic had put it. No, that was an understatement. This was a meadow, as endless as the sea, each stem swaying in the breeze. Inviting, sweet scented-- and one of these clusters shrouded his partner.
"Sonic," He called across the expanse, half expecting the hedgehog's face to pop out amidst the blooms. No response came. Shadow turned his skates off, the dying flame scorching one last patch of grass. For this, he suddenly felt guilty. But like the rest, he told himself it didn't matter.
He stepped into the lavender, eyes scanning the horizon. "Sonic!"
Something reached up and snagged his hand. Shadow instantly yanked it back with a shocked snarl, staggering back two steps as he whirled his head to try to find what had touched him. "What the-?!"
"Chao, Chao!"
A Hero Chao. It rose from a patch of flattened grass and Shadow thought that maybe he might have stepped on the poor thing. Its wings fluttered as it sprung up and down, arms waving.
"Chao, Chao! Chao, Chao!"
At the very least, it didn't seem mad. It seemed urgent, and that alone made Shadow bristle up in preparation. He knew very well how much these creatures liked to rope people in to pointless tasks. The last thing he needed was to become responsible for a being that could provide for itself.
"Whatever it is you need, you won't get it from me." He hissed at the squalling creature, which only made it start hopping up and down. "Now be gone. I have to find Sonic."
And the Chao squealed all of a sudden, with a volume that made Shadow's ears ring. "CHAO, CHAO!" It sprung up and grabbed Shadow's arm again, with such force that it caught him off guard, tugging his upper half toward the ground.
"Hey!"
The Chao was walking, pulling him along as if he were its child. It had started to whimper, stubby circle legs moving as fast as possible. The halo upon its head had shifted into an exclamation point. That detail made Shadow yank his arm free.
"Listen, I am not-"
The Chao whirled around again, and Shadow finally saw something to give him pause. For one, the pesky creature was crying. Big, fat tears rolled down its face, eyes scrunched shut. And it was pointing with a stubby arm, pointing off in the distance and hopping. Trying to signal to something.
"Chao, Chao," It begged, and Shadow swallowed hard.
"What the hell…?"
The Chao reached up for his hands, its own paws waving with the same desparation. Shadow huffed and offered one up, grunting at the surprising strength at which he was being tugged along again. He followed behind the Chao, and the further they jogged, the taller the lavender got. Eventually, it was up to his stomach, annoying and yet still so sweet.
The Hero Chao led him to a particular patch of lavender- lavender that had been flattened down by a blue-quilled body. Almost immediately, Shadow relaxed at the same time as he scoffed. Sonic had fallen asleep here. Of course he had.
More Chao lay curled up around him, sleeping soundly. They were Base Chao, but their colors almost seemed desaturated. And it was then that Shadow realized they weren't sleeping. Every single one had their eyes closed, and they were crying as well, the orbs above their heads a massive canvas of broken hearts.
Shadow's nose twitched like a fearful rabbit's. He stooped down to his knees in the grass, and reached out a hand to Sonic's shoulder. "Sonic-"
Sonic moved. He rolled at the smallest of touches, body turning over to where Shadow could see his face. His eyes were locked halfway open, and the light inside them was gone.
All at once, the Chao surrounding them erupted into haunting wails. Shadow's stomach fell. Everything in the world collapsed.He dove for Sonic's body; gloved hands took the hero by the shoulders. "SONIC!"
No response. Shadow had him by the back then, lifting his upper half up out of the grass. His eyes had shrunken, flicking across every inch of his partner's still body. Trying, hoping, begging to understand, to find some reason why this wasn't real. The Chao were still crying. Some grabbed onto his arms, and he leaned forward to curl over Sonic, quills bristling.
"GO AWAY!" He shouted at the bothersome creatures, watching them scatter a few feet away. They turned around to stare with tearful eyes, some covering up with their stubby hands as they wept. "GO AWAY AND LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
He turned his attention back down to Sonic. Hands shaking, he lay the hedgehog back down in the grass, ears pinning and system rapid firing suggestions, memories, any sort of knowledge that could get him out of this. Things he should have recalled much faster, because Sonic needed him to know these things.
"Sonic." He called desperately. "Sonic, I'm going to try something. Stay with me, please."
He closed his eyes, grit his teeth, and focused. The incredible amount of Chaos Energy that was always stored in his body began to bleed to the surface- tangible, physical, within him. And he let it go, imbued it into the skin he was touching, feeling it transfer. He didn't need it. Sonic did. The blue blur's skin warmed where he touched, and Shadow found one of their hands ending up intertwined, holding, hoping, begging as he waited.
"Please," He begged, "Sonic. Sonic, you need to try, you need to-"
Nothing. Sonic wasn't in there. This wasn't a comatose, or a stun, or anything he had been through in the past. He was gone. There was no reaching him. The Chao were telling him that. They grabbed ahold of his arms again and he shook free, curling even tighter over the body of his beloved.
"Sonic," He said again, and looked back up towards the hedgehog's face. Dull green eyes, mouth barely open, face not pained or horrified but just there. It didn't make sense. "Sonic, why are you doing this? Don't do this to me, not you, y-you know-"
Moonlight, a soft hill a lot like this one. It was so cliche. Sonic had found out the truth- every detail about what Shadow was, down to what had happened to Maria. And he had sat and listened, and only when Shadow was finished did he look to the moon, and admit he'd known for a while. Amy had told him. Shadow had never really learned how he felt about that. He just knew it was out of his control, and that Sonic had known how important he was for a while.
"You know, you know," He accused, teeth grit and chest heaving as his arms tugged Sonic closer. No pulse. "Stop doing this to me!"
He wanted something, anything. His eyes shut again and Shadow tried to bleed more Chaos Energy, feeling the way his body started to tire. It didn't matter, it didn't matter, he was strong enough. He could save someone, he could do this. If Sonic would just try-
"Wake up," He growled, ears drooped and body shaking. "Wake up, Sonic. Stop this. Stop this!"
It was out of his control. Death was always out of his control. He had known this when he watched Maria collapse, had seen the light in those beautiful, intelligent, caring eyes be snuffed out. One glimpse of finality before the world dropped beneath his feet and he was falling, falling. The world had shown it to him. She was gone. He had brought her back on her worst days, and she was gone now.
Shadow had never gotten to nurse Sonic back to health. He had never brought him back, debated how much care he was going to show as the hedgehog got his strength back. Maybe Sonic never would have let him.
"Come back," He tried, vision blurry, "Don't do this, Sonic, I'm begging you."
It was always out of his control. Death had taken from him once, and it would do so again, forever, no matter what. No matter how much anyone deserved their life, it would be taken away if they were someone Shadow knew. This was what the world di.
He curled around Sonic so that the mocking bright sun went away. His nose touched peachy chest fur, grass stems mixed in his autumn coat, and Shadow breathed him in. Earthy, sweet, mixed with the ozone of all the Chaos Energy he had taken. He was still here. Amidst all of the lavender, he was still here.
Shadow sobbed, and his mind devolved into mindless babbling. Arms clutching tighter and tighter, face burying as if they could meld, trade places, anything. "I love you, I love you, I'm so sorry. I love you so much, I love you, can you come back? Will you come back if I love you?"
No response. Something horrible stabbed into Shadow's heart, as if that were the last piece needed for the full scale of this to crash into him. His body began to shake. His teeth began to grit, mouth pulling into a grimace, like a dog about to bite.
Shadow tilted his head back, and he screamed.
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GUN had let Rouge off of her wild goose chase as soon as the news broke out. She was the only one the company knew might be able to make any headway with this. Shadow didn't know why- or how he even managed to let her in. But the living room was pitch black and the light that bled in from the open door was all she got to help her find him. He was on the couch, like always. Staring into some dust covered corner. The coroner's report was already on the coffee table.
She knew not to speak, not to ask to turn on a light, not to touch Shadow, and not to waste time. As if this were just another meeting, she has had her briefing. She moved to the couch and switches on the mini lamp that had been set up, bathing the space in a gentle glow.
Rouge picked up the coroners report, and used the light to start reading.
"For the downtown Station Square Medical Center," She read, "this death record established. Case reported on June twenty fifth, twenty eleven. Case reviewed at twelve-forty-three p.m. Reported by Dr. Dominic Hughes, and reported to Greta J. Stephenson, M.D."
She paused, and Shadow knew exactly why. His fists bundled and he almost barked at her to get on with it, but Rouge was already on it.
"Ogilvie Maurice Hedgehog," She continued on, voice trembling, "age twenty, born June twenty-third, nineteen ninety one. Municipality, downtown Station Square. The decedent was recovered- fuck."
Rouge dropped the paper back onto the coffee table. With shaking hands, she covered her eyes and took a deep, wobbling breath, releasing a curse with her exhale. Shadow didn't correct her. He stared off into the same corner, biding time until that horrible moment where he knew she was getting back on track.
"God. Okay." She breathed out, picked up the packet, and continued to read. "T-The decedent was recovered deceased. Post-mortem was condensed to the heart due to no unique findings across the decedent's inner body. The post-mortem discovered cha… chamber dilation and patchy m-myocardial scarring, consistent with and presenting that of phidippides cardiomayopathy. I-It is the conclusion drawn tha… that the decedent died of sudden cardiac death, onset by the aforementioned cardiomayopathic condition. Expiration estimated to have occured on or around the time of eleven-thirty-six."
Expiration. What a horrible word. Shadow finally dragged his eyes out of the corner, to cast them over to Rouge instead. In the glow of the lamp, she stared down at the papers as if they were telling her of her own demise.
"Is that all?" He asked, voice scratchy and gruff.
She took a deep breath. "Yeah, that's-" A shuddering one, "That's all they wrote."
He nodded, and as if it were permission, Rouge dropped the accursed paper back onto the table. Then she turned and dove forward, wrapping him up in a hug. A hug he didn't want. A hug they had likely warned her against. Shadow bristled for a moment, his eyes flashing until he heard her sniffling. Of course he couldn't push her away after that. Of course he had to realize how he never had the ability to, regardless. She was his companion. She was the only way he was going to get through this without going absolutely insane.
Shadow was never really a hugger. But his arms slunk around her shoulders, and he let her sob into him, wishing he had anything left. It was all gone now. But he knew it would be back.
The words sudden cardiac death trotted around in his mind, evil and cruel and cementing. No matter how much he didn't want to remember, he always would. He closed his eyes and he saw fading blue and green- a terrible painting of grief and agony, and the things he wished never built up his existance.
And if he thought hard enough- if he prayed, those fading green eyes would come back to life. The vision in his mind would pan out to see Sonic, whole and restored, smiling against the wind as the lavender danced around him.
A mercy. An escapism. A torture. Even as Rouge sobbed her sorries, that she was here for him, desparate to do anything about what had happened. There was nothing to do about it. Death was out of their control.
All the while, Shadow's nose would burn of lavender.