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His brother gets his spirit familiar young. So young that Sasuke, five years younger, barely even has an understanding of what they are, let alone understands what it means that his brother got this one. He expects the same of himself, from there on. He notices that his family does too; when he’s finally around the same age, they seem to be waiting for him to stumble across one of the most powerful spirits of the world too.
He doesn’t.
He’s not like his brother.
He doesn’t have the same quiet magnificence. He doesn’t walk through a forest to cross paths with a shrine aflame, only for amaterasu to deem him worthy. Ameterasu, of all spirits, burning unstoppable at his brother’s feet and resting as his familiar, a large and beautiful raven, on his shoulder.
Years pass and Sasuke has not found a shrine that has granted him a familiar.
Not a relic that has unfolded itself into a powerful being.
He has not had Sasonoo’s wind in his hair only for him to land at his feet in falcon form or however this thing is supposed to work.
He feels his father waiting. He’s waiting himself. He’s about as useful as the spiritual connection he makes, and as things are, he makes none.
His mother tells him that he’s different from Itachi — curious, kind , leaning towards mischievous — and that his spirit familiar will fit him. All he hears is that he’s not capable of achieving the same things his quiet brother has.
He’s been searching temple grounds. He’s been saying that he’s been walking, hiking, to find some peace away from their home but really, he’s been searching. Today, he walked one part of an old pilgrims route through the forest. It’s autumn but the sun dances through the leaves at his feet warmly.The cedar trees are high and mighty, holy, but small plants and flowers overgrow every single small shrine he finds on his way. Fox statues stand waiting to guide him, but remain still as if they’re stuck in the roots that have covered them.
Between parts of the forest, a small village. One stall for bells to scare off bear and good luck charms, one for food and tea. He’s given up on luck a while ago, so he goes to buy the more trustworthy option; onigiri. The old lady keeps smiling and nodding at him, even when he barely replies to her questions. He wonders if little people pass through here anymore, or at least not while the autumn leaves are crunching beneath their feet. The lady gives him an extra onigiri for on the road, which he’s probably going to long for later.
He sits down at a bench near the shop, one that has a great view of the old village, and places the onigiri next to him. In the distance he hears a river rumbling. He knows he needs to pass it to head to his next stop.
From his bag, he takes out his map and starts planning out his next part. He wants to walk his last part before going home tomorrow. He’s using a pen to draw it out, when — in a flash — someone comes too close.
He barely notices how a hand sneaks out and grabs one of his onigiri, but he has keen eyes. Better than anyone else. He comes from one of the greatest wielder families in the world. He’s not about to let someone steal his food.
The other is sneaky, but he’s faster; he reaches out and grabs the person by his yukata.
Bright eyes glance at him. Blond locks lay spikes around his face and he grins guiltily; used to getting caught, perhaps. “Ah,” he blinks, then adds: “Oops?”
Sasuke frowns, a tight grip on this guy’s yukata. They seem to be the same age. “Is that all you’ve got to say?”
“Yes?”
He’s taken aback by that, refuses to answer to this stupidity. Instead, he holds out his hand and waits for this guy to drop the onigiri back into his hand. The other grins, as if they’re having a fun exchange, and then returns the onigiri.
Right there and then, his stomach growls.
It growls so loudly that even the store owner inside might have heard it. Sasuke is still holding onto this guy’s clothes, and his face falls, unamused.
“Hey, what!? You can’t blame a guy for being hungry.”
This guy is an idiot.
Sasuke sighs and lets go of him. Sasuke doesn’t know what it’s like to be hungry; never has been. He knows that if you’re missing something, whatever, that you’ll do anything to get it. He holds the onigiri back out for this guy to take. When he doesn’t — he just stares stupidly — he adds: “Take it.”
“For eh— for me?”
“Yeah?”
“Oh! Huh. Why? I just tried—”
Sasuke can feel himself turning red in the neck. “Just take it! You said you’re hungry. This one was extra anyway. Learn how to ask.”
The boy hesitantly takes the onigiri, then mumbles: “People are not kind to people who ask for food.”
Embarrassed, he grabs his own onigiri to look away from his guy. “Well, guess today is your lucky day. Now let me eat.”
He tries not to — he really tries — but he glances up at this bright guy nonetheless. When he does, he’s met with one of the most blinding smiles he’s ever seen. His front teeth are sharp like an animal’s, his blond hair colours with the autumn leaves.
Sasuke doesn’t really remember the last time he’s made anyone smile like that. He turns back to his map.
𓃦
He keeps on seeing this guy. He thought he belonged to the village, but when he gets to the next one, he’s there too. He waves at Sasuke, and Sasuke’s pretty sure he sees him begging some store owner for mitarashi dango a second later.
He’s probably doing the same route.
But then, the next day, as Sasuke makes his way back to his hometown, he sees him on the train. He can’t imagine that this guy lives in the same village that he does. He would have noticed. He doesn’t look like anyone he knows or has ever seen. On that train, he sticks his nose back into his book and decides to ignore it. He thinks about the heavy silence he’ll find at home; the silent disappointment after even worse than the lecture he’ll get.
Once he’s in the village, near the train station, they cross paths again. He turns around and, as it appears, the guy hadn’t expected him to. “Are you following me?”
“Uh— well.”
That’s not an answer. “Go home.”
“So the thing is—”
“Go somewhere else if you don’t have a home.”
The guy looks at him with his bright blue eyes, a guilty look about him, and Sasuke wishes that he would smile again. Stupid. “Don’t follow me.” he mumbles, then opens his bag. “You want crisps? Was the last thing you had that dango?”
“Yeah. That dango was really good, though, so—”
Sasuke pushed the bag of crisps into his hands, probably crushing half of the contents. “Do whatever you like. Stop following me.” With that, he turns and sets out to his own home. He guesses that he doesn’t want to go there either; doesn’t want to explain any of this.
𓃦
His father is barely disappointed anymore. He acts as if he’s a lost cause. Sasuke kind of wants to snap. Maybe he’s grown up enough to realise that his father is being unreasonable; most spirit holders only get theirs when they’re grown up, between eighteen and twentytwo.
Sasuke is seventeen and has been judged for not having a spirit partner since he was a child. Sure, he’s not wielding the sun, not an equal pairing with a god. No shit.
Maybe he radiates the anger as he walks outside. His brother walks into the garden to find him. He’s the person Sasuke least wants to see, yet he’s the only one who cares.
“Yeah yeah, fuck off,” Sasuke tells him.
Which makes Itachi chuckle, just slightly. “Sasuke, I—” Right then, Ameterasu perks up. She rarely does. Itachi glances at her.
Itachi then looks at him calmly, back at her, and nods. It’s as if they’re in on something he’s not. Once again. As if they’re assessing him for whatever reason. “Dad already scolded me. I don’t need the sun goddess to do the same.” Sasuke says, before they can let him in on it.
His brother seems amused by the whole thing, as he tells him: “Little brother. You’ve attracted the attention of quite an interesting spirit”
Sasuke frowns. “I didn’t find any. In case you missed it.”
Itachi nods. “You might not have. But it seems to have attached itself to you nonetheless."
Ametarasu makes a sound, flames suddenly burning along Itachi’s arms. Sasuke’s never seen her do that. He can hardly imagine what she’s capable of in full form. He refuses to take a step back, nor does he know what she’s protecting Itachi from; it’s just him. “Ah, she’s not one to trust a fox. Mischievous beings.”
Mischievous? Every kitsune he met stayed in stone. Inari Okami has always kept quiet to him. Mischievous though, he did meet someone mischievous—
“One powerful spirit that’s written all over you. Congratulations.”
Sasuke frowns, yet he doesn’t ask anything. He’ll figure it out himself. He doesn’t want amaterasu’s flame burning him; doesn’t want his brother to think he’s a fool. He lets them leave.
They’ve barely gone into their house, when he hears rustling in his garden. He decides to not even look up when he sighs, and asks: “Why did you follow me here?”
“Eh, what I wanted to tell you—”
Sasuke looks at him, and the man falls into silence. “That you’re not human and I’m stupid?”
The spirit grins, showing off his sharp teeth. Maybe Sasuke had known. Sharp teethed, stealing, mischievous, fast. “Ah, I think I’m human enough. More like— shifting? Half? Unlike that powerful one, I prefer my human state.”
He looks the boy up and down and feels curiosity take over his disappointment and shame. That’s one powerful spirit, Itachi had said. He wonders if that can be as true as the bright boy standing in front of him. “You attached yourself to me.”
The boy rubs his neck awkwardly. “Don’t look at me! It kind of just happened. You know—”
“Show yourself.”
“What? I’m right here.”
“Your spirit form. Show it.”
“Ah, uh. I kind of… can’t do that.”
Perhaps Sasuke is as mischievous and curious as the fox in front of him. He says: “You attached yourself to me without asking. The least you can do is show me your true form.”
“It’s not my true form,” the boy mumbles, and then he adds: “But I can’t. Not unless you want to destroy the whole village. But I can— kind of—”
Before Sasuke can progress what’s happening, the energy around him shifts. The trees rustle, leaves and branches falling, and the air around him turns a thick red-orange. It’s fierce and terribly intense. He can feel the energy cutting into his skin from outside.
And then the burning feels like warmth.
And the cutting feels like a breeze.
The energy feels like a heartbeat.
“Let some of the energy slip,” he adds.
You’ll know, Itachi had once told him, if a spirit matches yours. Everything will feel differently. Like the same world had changed into another one. Sasuke’s heart is beating in his ears. He’s quiet and heavy, yet he feels lighter than he ever has.
“I need to be bonded with someone who can control it.” He tells him. “But you’re right; you deserve to know, to feel it. Before you, y’know—”
“Sign up for your endless talking for life?”
The blonde laughs. “Asshole.”
“Are you a kitsune?” He wonders how one of those could get this intensely powerful.
He chuckles, perhaps humourlessly, the air around him red and thick. Awkwardly admits; “Oh, uh, no. I’m Kyuubi."
The Kyuubi. All destroying and feared. That’s the only Kyuubi he knows.
“Oh, but you can call me Naruto.”
Sasuke huffs; this guy probably stole people’s ramen growing up.
“I prefer it.”
He tries to recall the warm feeling of this guy’s spiritual energy. If he bonds, they’ll bond for life. This guy seems loud and annoying, and he knows the kyuubi to be dangerous. Yet— yet he knows that this is how it’s supposed to feel. “Naruto,” the name lies new yet familiar in his mouth. “Is it true that you attached yourself to me?”
Naruto grumbles, sits down on the grass in defeat. He really is fox-like. “I mean, I wasn’t trying to. You just— you gave me that food and it kind of… happened.”
“Why?”
He shrugs.
“Do you even want to?”
Naruto laughs. “I know that you know how this works, Sasuke. You know that I couldn’t, if there was not something in my spirit choosing you.” Sasuke glances at him. Naruto looks a little nervous now, and Sasuke still thinks he looks stupid — he’s not mysterious, or godly, not burning — but kami, Sasuke knows he’s right. “Something in your wielding that needs me.”
He knows. In every single bone in his body, he can feel that Naruto is right.
“Sasuke!” The door of the house slams open, his mother runs towards him. “Are you okay? We felt an incredibly intense wave of energy coming from outside.”
When Sasuke glances to the side, where Naruto has disappeared into their garden, or perhaps jumped over the fence. He almost wants to laugh. “I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Slowly, he lets his mother pull him into the house while listening to her worries. For once, he feels like he might belong.
𓃦
“Nice place.”
Sasuke isn’t even surprised anymore. He rolls onto his side and eyes Naruto, leaving the book he was reading lying on the floor next to him. Naruto is sitting on his knees next to his futon. He silently closed the door behind him. “You’re human, until you need to sneak into someone’s house.”
Naruto shrugs as if he couldn’t care less.
Sasuke chuckles, sitting up in his bed. He’s wearing his pyjamas. A thick, dark blue fabric. The nights here have been cold. He’s been trying to read; instead, he’s been thinking about Naruto being the Kyuubi. About becoming one with such force.
I need to be bonded with someone who can control it, Naruto told him. Sasuke knows he can. He knows that he can be precise, sharp, strong. “Tell me what I need to do.”
“Huh? What do you mean, what to do?”
“To bond.”
Naruto blinks, then asks: “How am I supposed to know?”
“By being like, thousands of years old?”
“Yeah, jerk. My spirit, not me.”
Sasuke groans. “Then how did you— nevermind. Don’t say it.”
“It was an accident!”
“I know. I know, okay. Whatever. Let’s just—”
Naruto scooches in closer, putting his toes underneath the blanket. Sasuke feels a little insane for having the Kyuubi stick his toes underneath his bedsheets. Naruto’s voice sounds soft, when he adds: “You need to allow it. That's all I know.”
“I am allowing it.”
Naruto glances at him with something like surprise written over his face. He wonders if Naruto, underneath his big mouth, had expected that Sasuke didn’t want to. That, maybe, that’s why they hadn’t bonded when Naruto attached himself to him.
“I am. I thought about it.” Sasuke repeats.
Naruto nods, shaking the look from his face. “Well then, it’ll happen. I’m sure it will. D’you have an extra futon?”
“You’re too relaxed about this.” Sasuke tells him.
The thing is; he has no idea what else to do either. Instead of bickering, like they have done ever since crossing paths, he slips out of his bed and heads into their hallway, towards the storage, grabs an extra futon and blanket.
When he gets back and kicks the sliding door closed, he throws the blanket onto the floor and tells Naruto: “Don’t think that I’ll make your bed too.”
Naruto and him fall asleep with their futons next to each other. They bicker, and then talk, and then fall into a comfortable silence. Sasuke had not imagined ever inviting anyone like him into his space. He imagined a spirit that was more mysterious and animal-like, had even imagined enjoying a lonely life.
Naruto snored.
He snored and he was full of life. Sasuke fell asleep to the sound of his deep breaths and, as he was sleeping, he felt the same warm energy he’d felt during the day. Perhaps he was just dreaming of it, trying to repeat the memory.
The next morning, he wakes up feeling steady and warm. He takes in the room, feels his body lying on the futon, and realises just how different that feeling is. He’s just not well rested from finally sleeping well; he’s changed.
Naruto is still asleep in front of him. His mouth slightly open, yet not quite snoring anymore. His hair is a mess where he’s rolled around on his pillow. He’s nothing like what Sasuke had expected, yet now that he has him here, in his own space, he can’t help but feel glad.
Sasuke has never been what people expected of him either.
He will never be. Not with Naruto by his side.
Maybe it’s better this way.
Naruto blinks his eyes, thick with sleep, open. He grumbles for a while, then suddenly stirs. He opens his eyes widely, as if he’s shocked about the change, and then grins. “Oh! It worked.”
Sasuke nods. “It appears so.”
Naruto is unusually quiet, for a little bit. The same loneliness that Sasuke had detected the day before, is written over his face. Eventually, Sasuke decides to reach out slightly, just enough to invite Naruto to hold onto his hand.
Naruto does so without thinking twice. “Ah, I’m— I’m glad.”
“Hm?”
“That it’s you.” Naruto glances up at him through his eyelids. “The Kyuubi, my power— in the past, has been. Y’know—”
He knows. Famous and all destroying. Not in Amaterasu’s charming way; the Kyuubi has rarely been used for good. The name is always uttered secretly as if it’s a curse.
He also knows that he wants to be the judge of this on its own, and that the Kyuubi’s energy felt to him like a sunny summer day, like something that heals, like a breeze. Still, he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to be happy or nervous about this power.
“People fear and begrudge that. Or they seek that out to own it. They have—”
Sasuke knows that this is not the point, but he interrupts: “I don’t own you.”
Something about what he said is right though, surprising to Naruto. A bright grin fills Naruto’s face, his cheeks red and his eyes still a little thick from sleeping. The look Naruto has, has Sasuke believing that he wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning.
Naruto tightens the grip on his hand. “Yeah. So. Glad that it’s you.”
He doesn’t quite know how to return the sentiment. Finds himself without words.
“Do you mind if I stretch?”
Sasuke raises an eyebrow.
“My Kyuubi form has been asleep for a long time.”
Sasuke smiles, finding his spirit an idiot for the way he talks, being glad for his stupid riddles. “Go ahead.”
Before he can say anything more. The room fills with the same red energy he felt the day before. The room fills with a sharp wind and the air seems to weigh heavily. Sasuke, though, feels his chest tingle. Unlike the other time, he feels like this all destroying energy surrounds him. It means to protect him.
Naruto fades into an orange being, not quite a fox, and slips out of the room through the sliding doors, into the garden. Sasuke follows, still in his pyjamas. The air should be cold but all he can feel is the warm energy the Kyuubi is radiating, allowing him into.
Outside, the Kyuubi spreads its tails. All nine tails are broad and magnificent. Everything around it seems small, insignificant. Its tails seem to reach from one side of the house to the other. All of them thick, slightly furry, a deep orange. Something about this energy feels like it’s too much, too dangerous— Sasuke knows it’s been used to destroy. He can easily imagine why.
His heart clenches when he thinks about the guilt Naruto carries.
He makes a promise to himself that he’s going to do better as he stretches his arm towards this powerful being; towards his spirit. Then, not even raising his voice, he says: “That’s enough. Naruto, come back to me.”
The air fades around him, and Naruto lands on his two feet. He stumbles, slightly, and Sasuke makes sure to grab onto him. When Naruto looks at him, his eyes are still red and fox-like. He blinks once, twice, and his eyes slowly fade to his ocean blue. There’s some doubt, in those eyes. Maybe he thinks that Sasuke found him too powerful, remembering all the Kyuubi has destroyed. Or perhaps he thinks that he’s disappointed in his power; knowing that his brother wields the most powerful spirit of all.
Sasuke thinks none of these things; he’s glad that the Kyuubi faded when Sasuke asked him to. “Naruto,” he starts. “I can control this. I’ll bear the burden with you.”
“You know you’re in this until we die, right?”
Sasuke huffs, amused. “Idiot. Of course I know that.”
𓃦
extra
They head to breakfast side by side. He can try and deny that he’s nervous, but he can feel it tingling in his chest. Naruto, though, seems to think about nothing more than the fact that he’s about to get a homemade breakfast. He hears nothing over the sound of his stomach growling.
He slides the door open and Naruto walks in behind him, a smile on his face.
His mother is placing their miso soup on the table when they walk in. Her face changes to surprise when she sees Naruto. They’re not a friendly family; Sasuke has never had anyone staying over, even as a child. She should know he’s not just a friend.
“Oh! Good morning,” She tells them. “I’ll have to make another bowl of soup.”
Naruto grins and thanks her. Sasuke adds: “He’s a big eater.”
His mother nods and then asks: “Sasuke, is this perhaps your partner?”
Sasuke hums and nods, glances at Naruto.
“Oh, right. In the flesh! My name is Naruto. Thank you for having me.”
His mother bows politely and Sasuke urges Naruto to do the same by pushing against his back a little too roughly. When his mother turns and heads back to the kitchen, Sasuke sits down at the table and lets Naruto lean against his shoulder.
“That soup smells great,” Naruto says. “Been so long since I had a breakfast like this.”
Sasuke chuckles. “You only bonded with me because I keep feeding you.”
“Caught me,” Naruto laughs.
His mother comes back carrying a bowl of miso soup; Sasuke knows it’s their biggest one and he can’t help but love her for it. Can’t help but remember her words about him needing someone curious, mischievous. She places bowls of rice onto the table and then a plate full of fresh vegetables. While she does so, she asks polite questions. Where they met, she asks. They answer that they met during one of Sasuke’s hikes. If Naruto is not supposed to be at his own home. They answer that Naruto really has no such thing.
It’s kind of nice.
Normal.
She doesn’t bring up the fierce energy that has exploded near their house, nor asks if that had been the spirit Sasuke has newly decided to bring to breakfast.
When his father comes in, he eyes both of them sternly before even taking a step further into the room. Mikoto, his mum, claps in her hands excitedly and tells him: “Sasuke’s boyfriend is staying over.”
Sasuke chokes on his tea.
Naruto laughs at him, completely unhelpful.
“What?” Mikoto asks.
Naruto is hitting his back, uselessly, still laughing at him, when Sasuke answers: “He’s my spirit familiar.”
“Oh!” His mother blushes slightly, brings her hands to her cheeks. “Well, that’s embarrassing. I just thought—”
“Sasuke,” his father interrupts. “Are you sure that this is the spirit you want? He’s just a boy.”
Sasuke frowns at him, the anger he’s always felt only growing stronger. He feels stronger, with Naruto by his side. ”Yes, I am.”
“Sasuke—” Naruto urges him.
Sasuke ignores them, and picks up his cup of tea, trying to let his frustration fade. He’s not about to explain anything.
He doesn’t have to, it appears. Naruto gets up and moves to the centre of the room. There, he gets down on his knees again. Sasuke, quickly, interrupts. “Don’t bow,” he tells him.
Naruto glances at him and listens. He’s smiling. Instead of bowing, he places his fists onto his knees traditionally and tells them: “Ma'am, sir. Excuse me for interrupting your morning. Let’s try this again. My spiritual name is Kyuubi. I bonded with your son last night.”
His father is looking at him through squinted eyes, then glances at Sasuke. Perhaps he wonders why Sasuke would bond with a spirit like the Kyuubi; knowing that it’ll cause whispers around him, around their family. Or maybe he even wonders how Sasuke eventually bonded with such a powerful being. Maybe he doesn't trust him to carry the weight of it. It’s, perhaps, the first time that he doesn’t really care which.
His father doesn’t get a chance to speak.
Itachi walks into the room and glances at the whole situation; Naruto in the middle, his parents watching him with different looks. Amaterasu sits restlessly on his shoulder, but Itachi is smiling, just slightly. He sounds quietly amused as he says: “Oh, Kyuubi, good morning. You decided to stay.”
“Just call me Naruto.”