Chapter Text
Tuesday PM
(08:58) Tamara, have you done the biology homework? If so, what the hell did he write as the last analysis question? Rockmaple’s handwriting is comprised entirely of symbols scratched onto the board. I can’t read this.
(09:05) um
(09:05) wrong number???
(09:06) Oh. Sorry.
(09:06) its fine lmao
(09:07) actually hold that thought
(09:08) you see i pride myself on being able to crack the most illegible of handwritings (one of my friends has The Literal Worst)
(09:08) so maybe i could help with that last issue? if you have a pic of the board
(09:09) Uh…
(09:10) Are you sure? It’s late. I’d hate to be taking up your time.
(09:10) dude its barely 9 pm trust me its fine
(09:11) plus id rather help out with something simple rather than return to trigonometry hell
(09:13) That’s…very kind of you, stranger. If you need help with trigonometry, I took it last year. It’s the least I can do.
(09:14) haha its fine no need to owe me your firstborn
(09:14) (but if you know about special right triangles id owe YOU my firstborn)
(09:15) so about professor chickenscratch
(09:17) Right. Here.
Unknown sent IMG_149.JPG
(09:19) lord
(09:20) that is nearly as bad as my friends
(09:22) Yeah. Can you crack it?
(09:24) on it, boss
(09:26) i think thats a p? might be an f
(09:29) not sure if thats a letter or a number….
(09:32) OKAY final verdict:
(09:33) What is the difference between a bacteriophage and a virus?
(09:37) You’re a lifesaver. I owe you my first and secondborn.
(09:38) Professor Chickenscratch is a really strict guy. He’d have skinned anyone with an incomplete.
(09:39) np my guy
(09:40) id be willing to let you keep your children if you help me understand what the shit to do in this one cursed exercise
(09:41) Of course. What’s the exercise?
Unknown sent IMG_2746.JPG
(09:45) Huh. This was in my midterm.
(09:50) I get how the whole division might screw with your brain a bit. Divide everything by the square root of 3, and then rationalize the 3 so there isn’t a square root at the bottom, which gives you 6(square root of 6)/3. Then simplify. Answer would be 2(square root of 6).
(09:53) every child i ever have will be yours without question
(09:53) EVERY ONE OF THEM
(09:54) THANK YOU SO MUCH
(09:56) Haha. You’re welcome. I’ll pass on the children, though.
(09:56) Have a nice evening, stranger!
(09:59) you too, genius :)
Wednesday AM
(08:49) THIS IS TAMARA’S ACTUAL NUMBER
(08:50) THIS IS IT
(08:50) THIS IS THE NEW NUMBER
(08:51) NOT SOME RANDO SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD WITH UNCANNY READING ABILITIES
(08:51) T H I S
(11:07) You’re making a big deal out of this. They offered help, I offered some back. Probably not ever talking to them again.
(11:10) yeah but!!!
(11:11) stranger danger, aaron!!!!!!!
(11:13) ever heard of that? seems you fucking haven’t
(11:16) And you’re also texting in the middle of pre-calc. Milagros’ll kill you.
(11:20) nah i’ve got the stealth skills of a master you know this
(11:22) Then explain how I caught you sneaking my Oreos stash on Friday.
(11:31) I assume she caught you?
(11:45) We can talk about it at lunch.
Wednesday PM
(03:14) Caaaaaaaall
(03:14) ceeeeeeeeeelia
(03:15) For once in my miserable high school life I don’t have homework for tomorrow!!
(03:15) Wanna come over for a good ole Mario Kart match??
(03:15) well i actually have trig hw but yknow fuck trig
(03:15) Fuck trig indeed
(03:16) will dewhineter be there
(03:16) :)
(03:16) the things i do for you
(03:17) ❤❤❤
(08:47) okay you probably deleted the conversation by now but this is the pseudo cryptographer you accidentally texted and i may need more trig help
(08:50) Hello again, stranger.
(08:50) Sure, I’ll help. Still on special right triangles?
(08:52) nope new topic (which the teacher explained amazingly)
(08:52) what the fuck are tangents and sines and cosines what do they mean what is their purpose
(08:54) God, I hate those.
(08:55) you and me both buddy
(09:01) Well, the trick I (and everyone in this world) use is Soh Cah Toa. (Sine=Opposite side/Hypotenuse, Cosine=Adjacent side/Hypotenuse, Tangent=Opposite side/Adjacent side)
(09:05) soh cah toa
(09:06) i think the teacher mentioned something like that
(09:06) reminded me of that one villain crab in moana
(09:08) You weren’t paying attention?
(09:09) youd space out too if you heard mr lemuel talk for 0.5 seconds
(09:11) Fair enough.
(09:14) Soh Cah Toa basically gives you the structure for those three things. Depending on the variable you have to find in the exercise, you put it in its respective space and solve with the calculator.
(09:17) If you need to find the actual angle of the thing, you do the inverse thing. Like, for a tangent, you’d do tan-1(opposite/hypotenuse).
(09:19) This is really tough to explain, sorry.
(09:22) no i think i get it now actually
(09:23) all i gotta do is remember the villain crab and the basic structures of the formulas for each and im good to go?
(09:25) Yeah.
(09:28) perfect
(09:29) thanks buddy
(09:31) No problem! Happy to help.
(09:32) seriously youre so good at explaining this
(09:35) what are you, an actually qualified math professor?
(09:37) No, I’m a student. High school sophomore.
(09:38) oh wow
(09:38) im a sophomore too tf
(09:40) Huh.
(09:41) huh indeed
(09:43) judging by the kind of hw they gave you i imagine you go to one of those Intense Academies or w/e
(09:45) Uh.
(09:46) I kind of do? If by that kind of school, you mean the kind that, like, Congressmen send their kids to.
(09:47) no fucking way holy shit
(09:47) are you one of those congressmen kids???
(09:49) Hah. No.
(09:50) To be honest, I think I’m the only person here who doesn’t come from a big shot family.
(09:51) so you got in on your own?
(09:52) Yeah, scholarship.
(09:52) DUDE
(09:53) THATS INCREDIBLE
(09:55) Thanks.
(09:58) What about you? I feel vaguely uncomfortable sharing information with some stranger I accidentally texted.
(09:59) stranger danger
(10:00) nah jk im actually pretty boring
(10:01) i go to public school with a bunch of assholes and a single ray of sunshine
(10:05) That’s not boring. I bet it’s more interesting than you make it out to be.
(10:07) interesting does not equal enjoyable
(10:07) and speaking of equals I should get back to my hw
(10:09) Yeah, I should go too. My friend has been trying to get ahold of me for some time now.
(10:10) better get on that then
(10:10) night, genius
(10:14) Good night.
(09:55) hey
(09:59) aarooooon
(10:01) aaaaaaroooooooonnnnn
(10:03) AARON
(10:07) DO YOU EVEN CARE, AARON
(10:09) A
(10:09) A
(10:09) R
(10:09) O
(10:10) N
(10:13) i’m gonna start thumping on your floor
(10:15) Please don’t.
(10:15) HE LIVES!
(10:17) I never died in the first place?
(10:18) no but i will die soon if you don’t get down here in approximately 30 seconds with popcorn
(10:20) It’s almost curfew.
(10:21) Aaron I Am Dying I Need My Best Friend Right Now
(10:26) I’m on my way. What movie are we watching?
(10:27) rent :) i’ll cover your innocent eyes whenever something lewd happens
(10:34) Har har. I’m right outside.
Thursday AM
(12:50) you know its times like this when i think to myself
(12:51) wow
(12:51) han solo was HOT
(12:52) no wonder both skywalker twins had crushes on him
(12:57) I…
(12:57) What?
(12:58) shit
(12:59) sorry that was meant for my friend fuck
(12:59) i didnt wake you up did i?
(01:00) No, you didn’t.
(01:02) Is that what you usually text your friend at one in the morning?
(01:03) and you dont?
(01:05) I usually tell her face-to-face, since she lives directly below me.
(01:05) ?
(01:06) Boarding school privileges.
(01:06) ah
(01:09) my friend on the other hand lives halfway across the neighborhood and id rather not head over there in the middle of the night just to tell her i think young harrison ford is hot
(01:14) It’s an important truth, though.
(01:15) glad were on the same page, genius
(01:17) You and your friend must be really close if that’s the kind of thing you talk about in the middle of the night.
(01:18) ofc she is amazing and funny and fantastic at everything
(01:18) (sans handwriting)
(01:20) Haha, I understand the sentiment. My best friend is the best person I know.
(01:23) Actually, she’s also the kind of person to text me in the dead of night about Harrison Ford.
(01:25) well shes obviously a keeper
(01:30) She dragged me to her dorm earlier to watch Rent. Against curfew and gender separation rules.
(01:31) That easily and accurately describes our friendship.
(01:33) again, shes a keeper
(01:35) also not to be a stalker but you mentioned gender separation
(01:35) are you a guy?
(01:39) Crap. Didn’t mean to give that away.
(01:40) Yes. Are you?
(01:43) yeah
(01:46) Oh. Cool.
(01:48) This isn’t…gonna make things weird, right?
(01:50) course not, i still need a trig tutor after all
(01:53) Oh. Ok.
(01:55) plus its p cool to talk to you tbh
(01:57) It’s nice to talk to you too, stranger. You’re funny.
(01:59) why thank you that caters greatly to my ego
(02:00) also could you call me something other than stranger? it feels like were in an old western and im the villain lmao
(02:03) It does sound like that, doesn’t it?
(02:03) What should I call you, then?
(02:06) hmmmm something badass
(02:07) I should call you Something Badass?
(02:08) that actually sounds pretty badass but no
(02:09) how about…ENEMY OF DEATH
(02:15) hello???
(02:18) Sorry, sorry, sorry.
(02:20) Why Enemy of Death?
(02:22) KSHFKDJH
(02:22) that was meant to be a joke, genius
(02:23) (fyi that “genius” was meant to be ironic)
(02:25) Oh, thank god. I was laughing so hard I thought I was being rude.
(02:26) LMAO
(02:27) For real, though. What should I call you?
(02:29) idk man im kinda hung up on Something Badass
(02:30) Serious?
(02:31) as a heart attack :)
(02:35) Alright then. Contact name: Something Badass.
(02:36) PERFECT
(02:37) in turn your contact name is genius
(02:38) Hahaha. Thanks.
(02:39) Anyway, it’s getting close to 3 AM and I should really go to sleep. I have to wake up early for school tomorrow.
(02:41) i should sleep too tbh i got a chem test first period
(02:42) Oh wow.
(02:42) Good luck staying awake.
(02:43) likewise, genius :)
(02:43) i recommend a strong cup of coffee for your mistakes
(02:45) Good idea.
(07:57) aaron stewart, i have heard distressing things this morning
(07:58) sources say you’re walking around campus with a cup of black coffee and bags under your eyes :/
(08:00) Sources are correct. I stayed up late last night.
(08:01) we finished the movie at 12:45ish last night which is not that late?
(08:04) I stayed up later. 3 AM ish.
(08:06) what did you do for over two hours at death o’clock???
(08:10) Talked to a friend.