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“Can you teach me?”
They’re having a rare quiet moment in the office block they rent as headquarters for the agency. Dirk has taken to sitting smack-bang in the middle of the floor, watching Todd with an enamored expression as the smaller man sprawls on the corner sofa and plucks absently at his guitar.
Todd glances up from the strings, quirking an eyebrow. He pauses and considers the request, then shrugs. “Well, sure. I, uh… I only have this one guitar, though. And I smashed it up pretty bad. Still works and all, but it won’t be like playing anything good.” He pauses. “Plus I never thought you’d be interested in music and stuff.”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to be in a band, you see. Not necessarily for the music, but it would be nice to be a part of something, you know?” Dirk muses, and Todd feels something inside his chest tighten.
“You are part of something, Dirk. You’re part of this-“ he gestures around the office with his hands, and the other man smiles briefly. “But I’ll teach you. Then maybe you can join me and Amanda when we jam.”
Dirk beams. “I’d like that.”
And that’s how he ends up getting lessons on Todd’s bruised and battered electric guitar.
“Okay, so first you need to learn to hold it properly.”
Dirk rolls his eyes. “Todd, you can’t possibly think I’ve never held a guitar before. I-“ He pauses. There is… potential in this situation. “I am an expert guitar-holder.”
Todd quirks an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Prove it.” He holds out the guitar to the Brit, who takes it, and… well, holds it. Rigid and in the most uncomfortable posture Todd has ever seen.
“See? Expert.”
Again, Todd resists the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes, and moves to adjust Dirk’s arms. “No, look. You’re too stiff, loosen your arms slightly-“ he puts a hand on Dirk’s wrist gently to move it, and Dirk feels the skin there grow warm, much like his cheeks. “Actually- Hang on.” Todd moves to stand behind the other man, arms around his waist to re-position the Brit’s hold. He’s standing on his tiptoes, and Dirk can feel the smaller man’s breath on his neck. Privately, he thinks he could get used to this proximity.
“There!” Todd sounds proud and moves away, and Dirk tries not to miss the contact. “Okay, now for finger positions-“
“Who’s your favourite musician, Todd?” Dirk asks, in their third lesson. He thinks this is something all friends – all best friends – should know about each other.
Todd looks up from tuning the guitar, and gives a rare smile. “I’m not sure. There’s too many to choose from.” He offers the guitar up to Dirk, who accepts it, and slips the strap across his body. “Even as a kid I liked rock stuff, I guess. Pearl Jam, Nirvana, stuff like that. The sort of bands you see teens wearing t-shirts of nowadays. God, that makes me feel old.” He chuckles softly, mostly to himself. “But I’ve got a special place in my heart for The Goo Goo Dolls, though. First album I bought with all my own money was Dizzy Up The Girl. Got a job waiting tables and I bought that with my first paycheck.” The memory has brought an uncommonly soft smile to his face – one Dirk can’t help but mirror. “What about you?”
The Brit busies himself with the guitar around his neck, fingering the strings carefully. “Well… I always liked Blur. Parklife, specifically. It sounded like home in a place that certainly wasn’t.”
Todd bites his lip, but Dirk doesn’t seem distressed, like he usually does when he has to reference his past, so he lets the detective carry on.
“Then as I got older, and I had more access to music and stuff, I liked Take That – until Robbie left. Then I was a little less enthusiastic; I had quite the crush on him at the time.” He laughs at Todd’s slightly stunned expression. “What?”
“I dunno, I just- I’ve never imagined you as a teenager, with crushes and all.” He pauses. “’Specially on a guy…”
Dirk shrugs. “Well, that was a phase. Not the male preference – just the Robbie part. And the Take That part – I find tax evaders significantly less appealing,” he quirks a smile, unbothered by Todd’s lack of comprehension. “Then when I came here, I sort of… I don’t know, I got a bit excited, listening to anything and everything. I don’t think I have a favourite now. It’s just nice to be free to listen to more than what I was brought.” He shrugs nonchalantly, and Todd feels that internal tightness again. He wants to reach out and hug the taller man, but refrains.
“I- Sorry. Your story is better than mine.”
Dirk laughs, reaching to pat Todd’s shoulder gently. “Not really. Just different.”
“Todd.”
Dirk’s voice has a whiny edge to it that he despises, but the whine is definitely called for. His fingertips are a shiny red, and he can’t tap at his phone without it hurting. He pouts, and Todd glances up, with a strangely affectionate smile.
“Yeah, it’s because of the strings,” the smaller man laughs, shifting his legs so that Dirk can sit on the sofa next to him. “Eventually, the skin gets tougher there, to form callouses. Then it doesn’t hurt when you play.”
“But it hurts right now,” Dirk whines emphatically. “Why can’t it just… not?”
Todd rolls his eyes and reaches out. “C’mere.”
“What?”
“Give me your hand!” Dirk complies, and Todd reaches into his pocket to pull out a small round tin. Dirk feels his stomach flutter as the smaller man begins to rub the lemon balm into his fingers. The sensation is welcome, and he can’t help but let out a soft, contented sigh.
It seems to startle Todd, though.
“Uh- Sorry. That… Sorry.” Todd’s hand flies to the back of his neck, balm and all, rubbing at the skin there awkwardly.
“It’s- It’s quite alright. Thank you.” Dirk flashes him a smile, pushing away the odd feeling of rejection that fills his chest. “My hands feel particularly soft now. You’ll have to do it again tomorrow.”
Colour puddles high on his cheeks, and Todd nods. “Sure. Okay. Sure.”
Most of the lessons take place at Dirk’s apartment. This is because the Brit insists the acoustics are better in there, and Todd is usually too tired to point out that Dirk has no idea what acoustics are. As the lessons get more frequent, he ends up staying over sometimes, especially if he’s coming to Dirk’s apartment late after a shift at the part-time job he got at a call centre.
He stretches out on Dirk’s floor, yawning lazily as he watches the Brit pluck at the guitar strings a little awkwardly. It’s not great, but the other man is slowly getting the hang of it, and just seeing the expression of concentration – complete with tongue poking out – is enough to make him smile.
“I can’t get it, Todd.” There’s a missed note, and then Dirk’s frowning, an uncharacteristic note of dejection in his voice. “I keep trying, but it won’t work. What am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing, it just takes time,” Todd smiles, and considers before patting the floor next to him. Dirk mumbles something about ‘having a perfectly good sofa’, but sits anyway. “Here, pass her to me.”
“Her?”
“Yes,” Todd waves a hand dismissively and takes the proffered instrument. “I’ll play it through first, and you tell me where you struggle.” He starts to play, but stops abruptly at Dirk’s heavy sigh. “What?”
The detective gives a smile, but the sigh has given him away. “Nothing.”
“You’re lying. C’mon, you can’t just give up because you can’t play Sweet Caroline.”
“It’s not that,” Dirk bites his lip. “I just- Iwantedtoimpressyouandit’snotworking.”
“Wh-What?”
Dirk fixes his gaze at a point just past Todd’s head, face blank. “I. Wanted. To impress you. With my playing. But I can’t do it.”
“Dirk…” Todd sighs. “You don’t have to play the guitar to impress me. You- you always impress me, just doing anything. Expect, y’know, driving. Or cooking. That’s a little terrifying.” Dirk’s cheeks have gone a rather flattering pink. Todd daren’t think of the colour of his own. He takes a breath, and puts the guitar aside. The lack of a barrier between them is strange. “I… When you said impress, did you mean- like-“
“Yes.” Dirk nods, briefly, looking as though he’s unsure whether to smile or cry. “I meant – Yes.”
A beat passes, then another.
“You’ve impressed me like that since we met.” Todd offers a small smile, which hesitantly, Dirk returns. “I- I don’t know how to do this.”
“What, kissing?” The Brit cocks his head, apparently five steps ahead of him.
“Dirk! No! I meant asking you out.” Todd laughs, and his hand goes instinctively to rub the back of his neck. The detective has the grace to blush.
“Ah. Well… Maybe we can count the lessons as dates. Then we can move past the awkward bit and straight to the nice bits.”
Todd pauses. “….did you intend that when you asked me to teach you?”
“…maybe..” Dirk murmurs, and the smaller man rolls his eyes. “I probably should have just asked, huh?”
“Yeah,” Todd laughs quietly, and shuffles a bit, moving to sit on his heels. He considers, before leaning in, giving the other man the option to call it off or close the distance. “You really should have.”
Dirk’s failing to repress a smile now. They’re close enough that he can see Todd’s eyelashes, strangely feminine but certainly, definitely not unpleasant. “Teach me how to do this?”
Todd rolls his eyes, but it’s fond and affectionate. “The first of many lessons, I hope.” He closes the distance.
As it turns out, Dirk doesn’t need any more lessons. Todd plans on giving him more anyway.