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Вот дерьмо

Summary:

What happens when Maria and Nat portal jump into Earth 38? Its two grumpy agents, an amused widow, a loving Detective GF and an alien puppy. Also partridge in a pear tree (aka Lena at work)

Chapter 1: We are not in Kansas anymore...

Chapter Text

“Вот дерьмо” Maria agreed with her lover oh shit indeed, it wasn’t her intention to get involved with the fighting Natasha was doing with some rogue inhumans but when some kind of portal or opening was unleashed she had entered the fray. The other Avengers had all been preoccupied with their own foes to lend a hand since it was a surprise attack in the compound. Maria without a second thought followed the the fight through the whatever the hell it was as she got through in a nick of time the thing closed as the inhuman ran jumped off a building? How the hell were they on top of a building?” She looked around as did Natasha, she had no clue where they were she just knew they were not in New York anymore. “ Do you know where we are Tasha?” The redheads answer of no did nothing to quell her displeasure at not knowing where they were “ We should get down from here and try to find out where we are and contact our people.” The woman almost like twins holstered their guns and started to make their way to the doors that lead from the roof, it was hot as hell here too.

*Boom* *Thud*

Kara took a step back as the two woman on the roof drew their guns on her “ Wooh I am not gonna hurt you.” Kara tried to step closer to the pair but they only took another step back to put distance between them. “ I’m Supergirl we saw the energy spike and I was sent to check it out.” she saw the silent communication between the two women and in an odd way they kind of reminded her of Alex and Maggie when they spoke without speaking and that kind of made her smile at them. “ Who do you work for?” Kara craned her head to the side did they not know who she was? She wasn’t trying to be egotistical or anything it was just it had been a while since someone didn’t know who she was and it was kind of cool. “ You, everyone, the people of earth!” Kara had to stop herself from doing a little hop at the end because that wasn’t very Supergirl like so she just put her hands on her hips. The snort from the redhead was not hidden and neither was the twitch of lips from the redhead “ So you are an Inhuman?” What the Rao was an inhuman? Did she mean a meta or like a monster because an inhuman didn’t sound very nice. “A what? No, i’m from you know Krypton and the cousin of Superman sent here to protect earth and we fight for truth, justice and the american way.” She felt as if she was speaking to a small child like really who were these people. “ I don’t think she is Hydra she is way too perky to be with them.” the dark haired one said as the redhead snorted once again. “ Hey that’s not nice, I like to be nice.” she said as she slowly made her way over to them.

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Alex was rushing up the stairs of the LCorp building she never understood why anytime something weird happened Lena or her building were right in the middle of it. Kara hadn’t check in and it had been over five minutes already, even the NCPD had time to get there already. She made the team hold and counted down with her fingers as she readied to storm the roof when the door was ripped open by Kara who had her hands up and telling them not to shoot that everything was okay. The agents under her command looked to her for confirmation and she nodded her head in the affirmative as she tucked her own gun at her side as she made her way onto the roof.
“ Why didn’t you check in Supergirl? We were about to storm the roof because we didn’t hear from you.” Her sister in that moment was bashful and was more Kara than Supergirl and she had to strain her hearing to hear her younger sister admit that she might have lost it during flight. Alex pinched the bridge of her nose “ Again?” When Alex looked up she saw the two women who were standing close together with one with a smile and the other one not. She was just about to ask who they were when Maggie and her swagger stepped next to her and asked the obvious question “ Who are the two wanna be mini yous Alex.” Alex looked too the two women the redhead seemed amused and the brunette even though it was only a slight tick in her jaw seem offended. Alex walked forward to them as Maggie and Kara flanked her, if Kara told them not to shoot it might be okay to try to talk to them so she stuck her hand out “ Agent Danvers.”

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Natasha had been for the most part amused by what she had seen so far, the little she was guessing alien and everything since she landed. Maria on the other hand seemed less than amused at everything but that was part of the reason she loved her girlfriend she was always thinking and weighing out the problems. She wasn’t sure what was really going on or where they were but she had made it her mission in life to be a spy and she got to know how to read people pretty well and the three woman across from them might be able to help. Supergirl what a silly name was so nice and seemed pretty sweet, how could someone like her protect things she bet the girl didn’t even like throwing punches. Agent Danvers kind of reminded her of Maria, she had that authority and no nonsense attitude that obviously commanded respect. The short one hovered just a little too close to Agent Danver she didn’t know what to make of her yet but she would keep her eyes open. Natasha knew Maria would follow her lead but they were not home and they kind of needed help so she would play along with them and if they needed to escape at any point they could make that happen. “ Natasha Romanova also known as Black Widow. This little lady to my side is Commander Maria Hill and I think we are lost.”