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Salty Coffee

Summary:

the one where Stiles thinks pranks are funny, Erica agrees and Derek becomes the target.

or

the i put salt in your coffee when you were in the bathroom and you drank it all and that was hardcore want to go out sometime au

Notes:

i guess the title of this is a bit odd and possibly misleading? Apologies in advance for spelling and grammar mistakes :O

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Pack bonding night fell on every second Saturday. It was a night where everyone came together, watched awful movies, ate too much junk food and eventually ended up falling asleep on top of each other. Whilst Scott was the alpha now, the event was always held at Derek’s, as he was the resident adult of the group; even if he did argue that they were all pretty much eighteen. The night usually followed the same pattern: everyone coming at various times during the night, bringing food and drinks, Netflix being turned on, cuddling commencing.

On this particular pack bonding night, it was around twelve o’clock when most of the group started getting rowdy, giggly and sleepy. The whole group was crammed into Derek’s living room, all in various states - either on the couch, half on the couch, on the floor or sitting on someone. Kira was curled up against Scott, already sleeping. Erica was laying horizontally across Boyd and Isaac. Lydia was sitting next to Isaac with Allison in-between her legs on the floor. Derek was squished between Lydia and Scott and Stiles was on a beanbag at the end of the couch. And somehow they had all ended up watching cat videos and laughing. Well, everyone was laughing except Derek, who was trying to keep a straight face and looked constipated and possibly in pain.

“I can’t take anymore of this” Derek grumbled getting up off the couch. “Who wants coffee?”

There was a chorus' of ‘me please’, as Derek walked off to the kitchen to prepare the drinks. A couple minutes later and Derek was making several trips back and forth from the kitchen carrying mugs.

“How do you manage to remember how everyone likes their coffee and make it perfectly each time?” sighed Erica, sipping her drink whilst semi-upright on the other boys bodies.

Derek grunted something about it being ‘not that hard’ and walked off, leaving his cup on the coffee table. Stiles who’s attention up until this point had been on cats, zeroed in on Derek’s unattended mug. He slowly rose from his bean back and turned to Erica grinning.

“Hey, hey, Erica, how’re you feelin’ about a prank?” he asked, barely containing his giggles.

Erica suddenly jumped up off Boyd and Isaac, who rolled their eyes, and somehow managed not to spill a drop of liquid from her cup. The group was eyeing them warily.

“Why batman, what ever do you have in mind?” she said, mock serious.

“Salty coffee, Catwomen?” Stiles suggested, pointing to Derek’s cup.

“I salut to your genius” she said, giving Stiles a two fingered salut.

And with that they both scrambled to the kitchen and in search of salt.

“Well, this isn’t going to end well.” said Lydia.

“He’s going to kill us all.” Scott moaned.

Erica and Stiles came back a minute later, spoon and salt shaker in hand. Stiles started pouring salt into the mug as Erica stirred it with the spoon.

“I just heard the toilet flush.” Boyd warned, sounding bored.

Giggling more, Stiles and Erica hide the equipment under a cushion and went back to their own seats. Derek walked back in, picked his mug up off the table and sat back down in his seat. Stiles was very obviously trying not to laugh which resulted in loud, heavy breathing. Derek raised a single eyebrow at him and took a sip of the coffee, never breaking eye contact.

And nothing happened. Erica moved closer and narrowed her eyes as Derek took another sip. Nothing again. Both Stiles and Erica were staring at Derek with opens mouths. Isaac snorted and the group stopped paying attention to Derek and turned back to the cats.

It wasn’t until Derek had finished the entire drink and put the cup down that Stiles said anything.

“But, but, how?” he spluttered, looking mildly distressed.

He sprang out of his chair and started waving his hands around.

“No, I mean, no way, it’s just not possible, literally. You can’t not taste it!” he blabbered on, pointing at Derek. “We put heaps in there! We mixed it! Do you not have taste buds? Are you not human?”

“No, not really.” Derek replied straight faced.

Stiles made a strangled noise.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it! Now tell me how you did it!” he demanded.

“Stiles, we’re trying to watch something here” Isaac drawled.

Stiles told him to shut up and went back to pointing at Derek, not bothered about the others and the cats.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Stiles.” Derek stated innocently. 

“You’re just literally made of steel aren’t you? You’re just that amazing.”

“I’m amazing?” Derek raised his eyebrows.

“Yes, yes you are and you aren’t even effected by my pranks so you know what? You can just date me.”

“I - what?”

Derek’s eyebrows pulled together and he looked very confused. Everyone was paying attention at this point. Lydia sighed loudly.

“That’s right, you heard me. This was just a test. A test to see if you are worthy of all this.” Stiles motioned to himself.

Erica cackled, “Good one Stilinski, real smooth.”

“I’m so confused” Derek mumbled, closing his eyes.

 

End

Notes:

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