Work Text:
OFFICIAL MUSE ARCHIVE
SECTION 4A: APOLLO'S IDEAS [SAMPLE]
"Catalogue of Women." [recorded 600 B.C. - Muse of Epic Poetry, Calliope; notes: knowing him this is going to be very uncouth.]
"Ain't nobody fresher than my motherfucking clique." [recorded 78 B.C. - Muse of Song, Euterpe; notes: debate as to the definition of 'motherfucking', and until further information is acquired one must assume it means exactly what it sounds like it means. there is also question as to what 'fresher' means in such a context, and I can only assume it holds a different meaning than when applied to the state of mortal sustenance.]
"Hamlet." [recorded 120 A.D. - Muse of Tragedy, Melpomene; notes: I don't fucking know he just said "Hamlet" and told me to write it down. previous experience leads me to believe this will not end well, and will probably involve a young man talking to himself a lot in verse.]
"Twerk." [recorded 1100 A.D. - Muse of Dance, Terpsichore; notes: the current definition of 'twerk' is "a puny or insignificant person, generally male; a twerp", so I have actually no clue as to what he's getting at here.]
"Pluto." [recorded 1224 A.D. - Muse of Astronomy, Urania; notes: Roman aspect of our god of the Underworld, Hades, but Apollo was getting kind of teary-eyed when he told me this one and he doesn't even like Hades so I don't know. also what does Hades have to do with astronomy? he is like the least astronomy-related god there is, honestly.]
"Amazing Grace." [recorded 1369 A.D. - Muse of Hymns, Polyhymnia; notes: if he was getting "teary-eyed" at "Pluto", he was full-out crying on this one.]
"I'm bringing sexy back." [recorded 1400 A.D. - Muse of Song, Euterpe; notes: I asked Apollo where sexy went if it's going to be brought back and he got really annoyed and was like, "JT'S GOING TO BRING IT BACK, TERPE, WRITE IT DOWN." who/what "JT" is is not currently known.
"The Sonnets." [recorded 1420 A.D. - Muse of Love Poetry, Erato; notes: he also went on to say, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" and I'll admit that kind of turned me on.]
"Victoria the Great." [recorded 1501 A.D. - Muse of History, Clio; notes: ...but there are a lot of Victorias? how are we even defining "great" nowadays? because a lot of Henry VIIIs biographers are currently recording him as "great" and yeeeeah I'm not so convinced.]
"The Hangover." [recorded 1501 A.D. - Muse of Comedy, Thalia; notes: I know Dionysus recently coined this term to refer to the state one is in the day after getting "shit-faced" drunk. I definitely see how this could be funny.]
"Damn, you're a sexy bitch, damn girl." [recorded 1678 A.D. - Muse of Song, Euterpe; notes: yeah, I don't get paid enough.]
"Sexting." [recorded 1679 A.D. - Muse of Love Poetry, Erato; notes: we don't get paid at all.]
"You're a virgin that can't drive." [recorded 1834 A.D. - Muse of Comedy, Thalia; notes: I am so done.]