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Despite popular belief, Persephone and Hades have a very happy marriage. They would quite possibly have the best Olympian marriage if it weren't for Psyche and Eros, those adorable idiots. And yeah, Dionysus and Ariadne are cute, but she wasn't always a goddess, so they're disqualified. And Persephone thinks it's safe to say that she and Hades beat Hercules and Hebe, and they definitely beat Aphrodite and Hephaestus. And, like, does she even need to mention Zeus and Hera? No contest.
As such, they really don't fight a lot. Playful banter, totally, and quips abound. Sarcasm is basically the official language of the Underworld. But actual fighting? Surprisingly rare.
So Persephone's not really sure how this disagreement turned argument turned full-out yelling match right in the middle of the throne room happened, but she's about five seconds away from blaming the fact that she has to go back to Olympus in a couple of days, because shit, this is the time they're supposed to be spending having lots of sex.
And she's kind of running out of argumentative tactics. Like, what are they fighting about? All she knows is that she's mad and weirdly turned on and no he did not just say it's inappropriate to adorn the judgement room with flowers, oh fuck no.
She's really grasping for insults now. "Your cape's stupid!" crosses her mind but it seems both childish and weirdly personal, so she cans it. Maybe something about black marble being tacky...
"Excuse me, my lord?"
Both Persephone and Hades whip their heads in the direction of the voice. It's Thanatos, standing in the entrance of the throne room with a quivering mortal man, holding one of those weird wooden instruments Apollo likes so much. A leroy? Lyon? Whatever.
"Yes?" Hades grinds out, fists clenched.
"This man has made his way into the Underworld."
"That tends to happen, yes."
"And he's not dead."
"What."
"Quite." Thanatos gives a slight nod. "Apparently his wife died and he has come to retrieve her."
Persephone's ready to sit this guy down and have a Birds and the Bees: Death Edition talk with him, but that is kind of sweet, she has to admit. Why bring your leroy with you, though? Seems burdensome.
"How?" Hades snaps.
"Apparently, he has the ability to play his instrument so beautifully that the gates to the Underworld opened for him." Thanatos, always the debbie downer, seems doubtful.
Hades is opening his mouth to say something but Persephone cuts him off. "How'd she die?"
The man looks extremely nervous, but answers, "A satyr started chasing her and she got bitten by a snake."
Persephone nods knowingly. "That'll happen." Hades gives her a look and she sticks her tongue out at him. "Anyway, you can take your wife."
Hades splutters beside her. "No, he may definitively not take his wife."
"Oh, really? Sounds fairly hypocritical considering you just took yours," she snaps in return, impressed by her own quick thinking.
Hades splutters some more. "One may not simply bring a loved one back from the dead."
"Dionysus did, with his mother!"
"Well." Hades shifts uncomfortably. "He's a god."
"Oh, so we're prejudiced now, are we?" She crosses her arms, tsking disapprovingly.
"Persephone, this is ridiculous, and you know it!" He throws up his hands, exasperated.
"And now I'm ridic--"
And then the oddest thing happens. The most beautiful noise Persephone has ever heard begins echoing off the walls of the throne room, filling her ears overwhelmingly. She's pretty sure she's swaying on the spot and are her eyes filling with tears?
The man stops playing his instrument, and Persephone wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. The last time she felt this emotional was when Apollo told her about his idea for a story about five kids in detention who are all really different but bond emotionally as the day goes on and realize they're not so different, and then proceeded to tell her that it wouldn't happen for another couple thousand years.
"That was - most untoward," Hades says from beside her, voice choked up.
"So untoward," Persephone agrees, still wiping tears from her eyes.
"Just--" Hades gives a general wave of his hand, clearing his throat…masculinely. "Take your wife and go."
The man nods once, determined to take the offer before the god of the Underworld comes down from his emotional high, and turns on his heel, following Thanatos out the door.
"Just make sure you don't look behind you when you're ascending!" Hades calls after them, loudly.
A few beats pass, Persephone and Hades standing beside each other uncomfortably. She's feeling a lot fonder towards Hades ever since a minute ago when that mortal played that instrument like he was born to do it, and she knows she's going to be really depressed all summer if she leaves the Underworld still in a fight with her husband.
So, she decides to be the bigger person, and break the proverbial ice.
"He's totally gonna look back."