Chapter Text
One: When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie
"Noctis! Noctis!"
Noctis didn't understand why his head hurt so much; it was like a never-ending thrum of pain that made his eyes water and his throat swell. It was like someone had taken the back of Gladio's sword and thwapped him a few times, then one more for good measure. It was just the Balouve mines; it should have taken a couple hours at most and it was just supposed to be a quick hunt.
There was no reason for him to feel the way he did.
Noctis groaned and opened his eyes, the world coming into focus, though it was still a bit blurry around the edges. It only took a few blinks for the spots to fade from his sight, and Noctis moved gently away from the hard rock next to him.
Wait.
"Ahhhh!"
It wasn't a rock, it was a tooth. A big, big, big tooth. What had happened to the imp? Why was it so big? It wasn't that big when he had fallen on it—had something happened? Had the thing gotten hit with some kind of spell?
Wait.
With dawning realization and equally dawning horror, Noctis looked up to see the red sole of Prompto's boot.
"No! Prompto!" Noctis screamed as he thrust out his arm to warp away from his friend's descending boot. Unfortunately it wasn't far enough, instead causing Noctis to have to warp again to avoid Prompto's other foot as it swung forward.
"Where'd he go? Noctis! Noctis!" Prompto yelled, and it was so loud that Noctis had to drop his Ultima Blade to cover his ears. The ground below him seemed to quake and Noctis shot out his hands to pull out his set of daggers, warping again and again until he fell to his knees in front of another set of boots.
"Ignis! Fuck, Ignis!" Noctis screamed, but looking up at the towering, hulking mass of the mountain above him, Noctis realized too late that it was not his advisor.
Noctis sent a prayer to Etro as he slammed his eyes closed and rolled, hoping that he managed to miss the crunching heel of Gladio's boot. Oh, fuck. What would his ancestors think of this—how embarrassing would it be to show up to wherever souls went when they died to have to listen to them mock him for all eternity about his Shield squishing him like a bug under his Etroboutin boots.
There was a commotion above him and then...
BAM—
The entire planet seemed to be crashing around Noctis's head and though he knew the magic was drained from his body, he still tried to warp away. He could see Gladio coming down, closer and closer as he fell—
"NO!"
And then there was something throwing him up into the air and the world shook and went dark.
Yeah. His ancestors were going to mock him for the rest of eternity.
Noctis shook like a ragdoll and waited for the cold hand of death the claim him. Yet the ground and ceiling above him was warm and dark, dry and…
Wait. Was that leather?
Noctis opened his eyes as he grabbed at the ground, noticing that it seemed to feel so familiar. It was leather, wasn't it?
Just what was happening?
There was a peak of light from above, like little cracks in the ceiling shattering the illusion of death. He tried to stand, but the ground still shook and whenever he moved it seemed that whatever was around him moved, too.
"Your highness… Noctis?" There was a whisper so faint that Noctis laid his head against the ground to try and hear it.
"Iggy?"
The sky opened and Noctis screamed, because above him was a big, perfectly green eye.
At a later date, Prompto would manage to get Noctis to admit that Ignis almost got an Armiger to the eye. The only thing that stopped him was he was pretty sure that he had a bit of a heart attack. It took six shots of the Wiz's best whiskey, but the truth always comes out.
He'd take the fact that he damn near pissed himself to the grave, though.
Or... Maybe he kinda did. Just a bit.
Even best friends had their limits.