Chapter Text
The next morning...
Kevin stared at Baby from across the table at breakfast. Sam was eating a bowl of cereal and reading the newspaper. Kevin stared at Baby with his button-black eyes, and Baby stared back, unamused, his arms crossed.
Kevin stared.
Baby stared back and blew a dark lock of hair off his forehead.
Kevin stared more.
Baby snorted. "Okay, what the hell d'ya want?"
"So, you're really a car?" Kevin finally asked, and Baby rolled his eyes so hard his head came with it.
"Yesss," Baby said irritably, drumming his fingers on the dining room table. "And I really want to get back to being one because I don't know if I can stand this for much longer."
Kevin smiled a little. "You don't like being human, huh?"
Baby shook his head, crossing his arms and pouting a little.
"Yeah, welcome to the club." Kevin semi-laughed.
Cas finally came to the dining table, shuffling his feet a little as he carried his cup of steaming morning coffee and was wearing Sam's old ratty Stanford hoodie. He scratched his messy black hair and sat next to Baby, putting his cup down on the table.
"Okay, "Baby"." Cas spoke up, complete with airquotes. "Let me see what I can do." Cas gravelled, rubbing the sleep from one of his eyes. He yawned and then took Baby's face in his hands, and Baby made no protest as Cas tipped his face from side to side, looking curiously into his eyes and ears and mouth.
"What's this for?" Baby asked curiously as Cas sighed and finally took the hands from his cheeks.
"Show me your hands." Cas didn't answer, and Baby silently pulled up his hands and Cas took one of them, bringing it very close to his face and examining it.
"Oh." Cas said, freezing and looking at Baby's thumb intently. "I believe the phrase is 'shit.' "
Baby whipped his hand back and held it close to his chest, his grey-blue eyes widened. "What? What's wrong with me?" He tried to keep his voice from panicking.
"Your fingerprints." Castiel explained. "I've seen them before. Many times before."
Baby frowned. "I mean, not like I've had any formal eduaction or anything, but aren't humans supposed to have..you know, unique fingerprints?"
Cas nodded. "Yes, they are supposed to be. But you were not born human. Someone made you this way." Cas sighed, speaking on exhale. "My brother Gabriel."
Baby narrowed his eyes. "You're shitting me." Fuck. This was exactly what he didn't want; Sam and Dean to go through another round with that damn angel.
Cas shook his head. "For angels, an image of the angel's vessels must be used if they want to create a synthetic human. Gabriel gets away with copying the skin most times to make doubles; it's the most discreet."
Baby ran his hands through his hair. "So..I'm technically Gabe's double?"
Cas shook his head again. "It's...complicated. You are the Impala, but in order to make you into a human Gabriel had to use one image from his own vessel to begin building. It's impossible to start from scratch. In this case, he used the image of his skin as the first required building block. Does that make sense?"
Baby pursed his lips. "Are you sure they aren't just similar?"
Cas bobbed his head. "The fingerprints are identical. And I have just enough grace to sense that it's my brother's spell that's on you."
Baby hid his palms in his hands. "Fuck. I don't want to be associated with that asshole in any way." He growled. "This blows."
He looked up at Sam with sad grey eyes. "Sammy, I'm sorry." He said waterily. "I'm so sorry."
Sam's eyebrows lifted in sympathy. "Hey, Baby, it's okay. It's not your fault."
Baby dug the palms of his hands into his eyes, tufts of black hair sticking up between his fingers. Sam realized that Dean must have been up by now, but he hadn't even come out for breakfast yet.
"Where's Dean?" Sam asked, looking around. "He's usually up by now."
"Probably avoiding me," Baby snorted bitterly.
Sam screwed up his face. "Why?"
Baby finally took his hand from his face, holding his head up with just one hand with his elbow propped on the table. "Me n' him had a falling out last night. After dinner." He said gruffly.
"Well, what happened?" Sam asked, looking very confused. "I thought you two were fine."
Baby shrugged and stood up. "I tried talking to him about something he didn't want to talk about." He said bitterly. "I'm gonna go wash off. I suddenly feel really dirty with all this talk about me walking around in Gabriel's skin."
"Kay." Sam said, clearly the guy didn't want to talk about it right now. Baby roughly stood up, the chair legs squealing along the floor and strode heavily away, and Sam wondered what in the hell they'd fought about.
The previous night...
Dean finished cleaning all the dishes and putting them on the drying rack, he dried his hands and went to join Baby outside, his stomach already feeling a little pinched.
The man in the leather jacket was leaning his back on the outside wall, slowly taking drags of his lit cigarette, happily blowing out the opaque smoke with pursed lips.
"Hello, Dean." Baby sighed, finally pinching the cigarette between his middle and pointer finger and taking it from his lips. "I guess no one else was going to say anything, so I guess I have to take the wheel here. I can't believe John never did this for you. I just...ugh, goddammit, I wished I could have been human then so I could say this to John."
Dean shoved his hands in his jean pockets. "Say what, Baby?" Dean got a little pinch in the bottom of his stomach.
"You know Dean, I know it wasn't just you 'adjusting' when you freaked when you discovered that I was male," Baby looked like he didn't really want to talk about this but had to as he took another drag of his cigarette, the smoke rolling out of his lips like dry ice and disinigrating in the chilly air. "You were afraid of what Sam might think, like it was going to give you away."
Dean frowned. This better not be going where he thought it was going.
Baby slid his greyish eyes over to look at Dean. "Is there...anything you'd like to tell me, Dean?" He frowned. "As a person whose been by your side all your life? Your father's side? Look, not as a brother. More like a..grandbrother."
"Grandbrother?" Dean laughed nervously.
Baby got a sad kind of pained expression. "Dean, seriously, I don't want to have this talk any more than you do. So just...do you have anything to tell me?"
Dean locked his jaw. "No," He bit out, looking away as Baby looked back at him with a hurt expression.
"Dean. I know you. I've known you your whole life. I knew John before you were born. Oh, fucking hell. John." Baby looked angry for a second, his hand curling into a fist. "He never-" He swallowed his next words. Then his eyes softened and he looked away.
"John was so different before Mary passed. He knew too, Dean. He always knew. But he was too much of a prick to sit you down and just talk to his son." Baby sighed angrily and took another puff. "So, I guess here I am. Doing your father's job."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Dean said, his voice flat and bitter.
"Dean...you're bisexual." Baby sighed. "You have been your whole life. It's not high school anymore, Dean. And I hate that I have to be the guy to say this, but it's time you admit that to yourself."
Dean instantly clenched his hands into fists. "You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know me." He bit angrily.
Baby gritted his teeth together and squared off against Dean. "I know you better than you fucking know yourself, Dean. Don't ever accuse me of that again." He growled, his eyes narrowed and glinting in a steely kind of light.
"I carried you home from the hospital when you were born. I was the first place you slept the night your mom was killed. I've been T-boned by a semi-truck and flipped over by a hoard of swarming demons and taken a crowbar to the face, all for you. I've had blood splattered on my seats and carried your dead weight in the back seat after the hellhounds got to you and Sam was crying so hard he could barely drive. So yes, Dean, I know you." Baby snarled, his eyes flashing.
Dean locked his jaw and refused to say anything.
Baby's face softened when he saw how frustrated Dean looked. "You've always had a soft spot for Cas, Dean. Other people in the past too. And Dean..." Baby looked like he wanted to reach out and put his hand on Dean's shoulder but restrained himself. "Dean, I know John didn't think so, but fucking hell, let me just tell you that it's okay."
Dean felt like simultaneously running away and throwing up.
"Baby. Don't ever talk to me about this again." Dean growled, looking at the ground and gritting his teeth.
Baby frowned. "This is the one time I'm saying anything. This is uncomfortable as hell for me too. But Dean; you have to tell Sam."
Dean met Baby's eyes, his own were narrowed. "I'm not telling anyone. And you sure as hell won't tell him for me either. This is going with me to the grave." Dean grabbed Baby's black tank and twisted, shoving him hard against the wall he'd been leaning on. "The the damn grave, you hear me?"
Baby said nothing. Dean came closer and gritted his teeth.
"Fuck you." Dean spat. "Thinking you can just drop into my life and tell me what to do. I've got a balance going here, god dammit!-" He gave another small shove at this-"I'm not just gonna..tip the fucking scales! I'm happy!" He pulled away, his eyes downcast and searching back and forth.
He was breathing hard, there was a tense silence as Baby shoved his hands in his pocket and locked his jaw.
"Happy enough." Dean mumbled.
Baby frowned. "Happy enough, Dean? You love this house. You love that Sam is alive and kicking. And you love Cas, Dean, you have for years. But you're not happy about that. Why."
"No, I'm not happy about that!" Dean shot back, running his hand down his face in frustration. "It's not normal!"
Baby let out a frustrated groan. "It is normal, Dean. Why can't you just accept that?"
Dean didn't reply.
"God dammit John." Baby said on exhale, muttering under his breath, running his free hand without the cigarette through his dark hair. John should have sat Dean down a long time ago, and not let him grow so ashamed and let the walls build so damn high.
"Dean. I just want you to be happy." Baby's eyebrows tipped upward. "And having a damn lasting relationship, because you've never had one ever, would."
Something had broken in Dean's expession. He turned away so Baby wouldn't see it.
"You don't talk to me." Dean growled, pushing his shoulders. "Just don't fucking talk to me." He strode back inside and slammed the door. Like hell he would tell Sam. Like hell he'd tell anyone.
Baby sighed. He mashed out his cigarette. He suddenly didn't feel like smoking anymore.
Sam and Kevin and Cas didn't see Dean for another half hour. The three of them had books spread out on the table, trying to figure out how to
1) Summon Gabriel
2) Convince or force him to turn Baby back to normal and
3) Why the hell he even did this in the first place.
The first thing they saw of Dean all morning was when he ran into the living room, his eyes distraught.
"Where the hell's Baby?" Dean demanded.
Sam shrugged, turning a page in his book. "I dunno. He said he was taking a shower." He looked at Dean and frowned. "What the hell did you two even fight about?"
Dean frowned and avoided his gaze. "What the fuck did you guys tell him? He looked really upset the few seconds I did see him and now I have no damn idea where he is!" Dean gripped the sides of his head. "I searched the whole damn bunker!"
"We told him...Gabriel was the one who turned him human. Then he mentioned that you two had a falling out, and then he just..left." Sam answered, not liking the look on Dean's face.
"Anything else?" Dean asked.
"Well, he also said he wasn't quite sure how much longer he could take being human. That he didn't like it." Kevin said, and both Sam and Dean's faces fell.
"Then, he was just apologizing to me." Sam spoke up. "About the Gabriel thing."
He remembered Baby tapping his fingers on the table, fidgeting, his eyes narrowed, grey orbs shifting around, frowning.
"Shit- Sam, what if he thinks the only way to be a car again is to kill himself?!" Dean began to panic.
Sam's blood ran from his face. "Oh my god-do you think he really would think that?" Sam stood up from his chair roughly. "Dean, we gotta find him."
"Baby!" Dean hollered through the bunker, stalking through as fast as he could. He looked through the first room and saw no sign of him. His heart began to squeeze unpleasantly in his chest.
Sam was looking at the other side of the bunker's rooms as they sped through. "Baby? Baby where are you?"
For once, Dean wished they had a smaller house. He jumped at the sound of Sam slamming open a door, thinking it was a gunshot. He kept picturing Baby's grey-blue eyes glassed over and staring into nothingness..dark blood moving across the floor...
Dean was the first one to burst outside. Dean didn't know what he'd do if he saw the man's body. He'd already seen the bodies of enough loved ones, thank you very much.
Dean was breathing hard, looking around at the road that ran beneath a small hill. Maybe he ran away? God, if anything happened to him...
Finally, he heard the unmistakle splash of water on concrete, it sounded like the hose was running.
"Baby!" Dean rushed down the shrubby slope to where the Men of Letter's garage was, and he let out a sigh of relief as he finally saw Baby, and he felt his stomach drop with relief.
Now, he finally got to process what Baby was doing.
The man was standing the the driveway, fully clothed in his leather jacket, black tank and dark denim, hell, even his combat boots were still laced up around his ankles. He had the hose running full blast, and he was holding it over his head, shaking his head as his sopping black hair sent little crests of water flying. His clothes were absolutely soaked.
"Baby, what the hell are you doing?" Dean demanded, but his voice was a lot softer than he'd intended. He just couldn't shake the ice-cold feeling he'd gotten when he considered the fact that Baby might be dead.
Baby looked confused as Dean barrelled toward him. "What?! I needed a car wash!"
He did not expect it when Dean kept speeding toward him and wetly squished him into a tight hug. "You stupid bastard." Dean mumbled, hugging him tightly and feeling the water soaking into his clothes.
Baby dropped the hose and it gushed onto the concrete, he was a little delayed in wrapping his sopping arms around Dean too, wondering why he'd suddenly hugged him. "Jesus, Dean. Your heart's pounding a mile a mintue. What's the matter?" Baby asked.
"You were right." Dean sighed. "About me needing to open up to Sam. I need to tell my own brother. I've been an total asshole to you again and I'm sorry. I thought you died."
Baby laughed and gave him a little squeeze."I said I was washing off like twenty minutes ago. Why in hell would you think I died?"
Dean covered his face with his hands. "God. Baby, you're gonna be the death of me." He finally scrubbed his face and looked up at the scruffy face that had grown so familiar in the past few days.
"You're the closest thing I've ever had to another brother, Baby. And if you say I should tell Sam...then I'll tell Sam." Dean forced himself to say.
"Good." Baby smiled brightly at him. "...I'm proud of you. And I'm glad I could step in for John, even though he should have done something in the first place. "
'Proud' was nothing John would ever say to him.
And it made Dean happy.
Baby then looked down at his waterlogged clothes, his arms shrugging out to the side. "I'm guessing by the way you're reacting to this, this isn't how to wash up." He laughed. Sometimes Baby acted wise enough to have been born in the sixties, and then other moments were like these.
Dean couldn't help but laugh too. "Jesus, Baby. Let's get you back inside." He let himself feel relieved, even for just a little while.