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Charade

Summary:

“So,” Leorio opened, “you’re going to be my wife?”

Kurapika’s returning stare was deadpan.

Notes:

written for my good friend emily!! a big thank you to her as well as mickey and eli for helping me throughout the writing process. hope you enjoy!

Work Text:

Kurapika drummed his fingers on the dusty edge of his mostly-barren desk, eyes locked in frustration upon the intercepted wedding invitation in front of him. He had taken the utmost care to procure one that wasn’t meant for anyone too close to the family of the groom or bride, so that his presence would go largely unnoticed. He had made certain that the invitation had not been announced to the recipient beforehand, that a wedding invitation would have been a surprise to them and wouldn’t be missed or sought after when it didn’t arrive.

In his efforts, he had forgotten entirely to make sure the invite was for an individual, not a couple.

He glanced it over again.

It was everything he needed--date, time, location, and, most importantly, a pass to get in--but addressed to a married couple by the names of Miriam and Tobias Lutz. He could work around this, couldn’t he? He could pose as the husband alone--or the wife, for that matter--and say his spouse had been too ill to make it. Though, the more he thought it over, the more appealing an accomplice in his mission sounded…

He let out a heavy sigh, and smacked the paper down against the desk before his breath could carry it away. Trying to focus, he let his eyes fall shut. All he could concentrate on was the constant, taunting tick-tick-tick of the clock above the doorway.

Its provocations were interrupted by the just-discernible buzzing of his phone. He had to dig around for it; he didn’t keep it easily accessible if he wasn’t expecting an important call or message. Anything else could wait, usually. Right then, he could use any distraction from his own roundabout thinking.

The sender of the series of texts he had just received came as no surprise.

Leorio Paladiknight [23:31:00]: Kurapika! Hey!
[23:31:14]: Soo, I just finished up classes for a while and Ive got plenty of free time for once. Lol
[23:32:01]: Yknow if you also had some time we could meet up somewhere, for coffee or something. Just since its been a while and I’d like to catch up
[23:32:44]: But youre probably busy. No big deal, just might be fun
[23:33:51]: I could pay

Kurapika wasn’t sure why he had thought checking his phone would be a good idea. The messages were almost painful to read, and he swore he could hear Leorio’s growing frustration with him even clearer than he could in his voicemails. Still, it wasn’t as if he had time to do things like this, or, if he did, as if he was still the sort of person who would be pleasant to have a coffee outing, get-together, date, or whatever Leorio had planned with. Date...

He sat up straighter in his seat, an idea snowballing itself through his brain. His thumbs lingered over the touchscreen keyboard, eyes flitting between the screen and the invitation on his desk. His mouth felt dry.

Kurapika [23:37:02]: Would you be willing to do me a favor?

There were a few moments of apprehension between his message showing itself as “Read” and the reply. He could only wonder what Leorio was thinking on the other end…

Since when had he been fearful of having a conversation with his close friend?

He didn’t want to answer that question for himself.

Leorio [23:43:04]: You responded!?? Whats up?

Kurapika’s thumbs were oddly sweaty as he typed out his reply--or failed to. He kept having to rewrite, reword, or adjust something. He felt his efforts should’ve produced a full report, but he looked it over to find less than a paragraph.

Kurapika [23:54:51]: I need help locating a pair of the scarlet eyes. I’m in Saherta. You wouldn’t be in any danger during the mission.

Leorio [23:55:13]: Care to elaborate?? Jeez

Kurapika [23:55:28]: I just wanted to see if you were on board with that much.

He rocked himself back in his office chair, shoulders perceptibly losing some of their tension. Even over text message, Leorio’s presence was something familiar and soothing.

Leorio [23:56:46]: Fine, on board. Whats the ‘mission’ then??

 

They agreed to meet over coffee, as per Leorio’s initial suggestion. There was a cafe only a block away from Kurapika’s hotel, and they would need time to discuss and prepare together before the evening, anyhow--that, and they would arrive together.

He hadn’t yet taken on his disguise as Mrs. Lutz, though he had set out the outfit back in his room, along with some drugstore makeup products he had chosen at random. He hoped the finished look would be convincing; he wasn’t too well-versed in the ways of glamour. Leorio would be fine, he was sure. He had just asked him to pack his nicest suit.

He scanned the small crowd outside the cafe for a familiar face, or, more likely to catch his eye, Leorio’s imposing stature. He was surprised to recognize the voice before anything else. His name was being hollered from somewhere he couldn’t place until he happened to glance across the street.

Leorio really was loud.

He was practically bouncing on his toes waiting for the traffic light to give him the go-ahead to walk, and ending up jumping the gun anyhow. He scowled and shouted something at the taxi driver who had nearly hit him before resuming his stride, luckily making it to Kurapika’s side of the street in one piece.

“Kurapika!” he called again, though at a normal greeting volume this time.

“I heard you the first time.”

Leorio gave him a teasing scowl, though his smile returned quickly afterward. He clapped Kurapika on the shoulder, his hand lingering there for a moment.

“It’s good to see you again. I was--” He cut himself off, his words turning to a nod towards the door. “Should we go on inside?”

Kurapika dipped his head in agreement and walked ahead through the glass door, eager to avoid any direct eye contact for the time being. He paid for his own small black coffee, and, after some bickering, Leorio’s order of a croissant breakfast sandwich and a large cappuccino. They sat across from each other at a booth in the corner, distanced as much as they could be from other customers.

“So,” Leorio opened, “you’re going to be my wife?”

Kurapika’s returning stare was deadpan. “I’m going to be disguised as Mr. Tobias Lutz’s wife.”

Leorio laughed into the coffee mug he had half-raised to his lips. “I’m kidding! Forgot you didn’t know what a joke was. Anyway, you haven’t really - ah! Hot!”

He waited for Leorio to stop sputtering over the faults of his own impatience, stifling his own amusement. He didn’t do that great of a job, evidently, the way Leorio was glaring at him.

Anyway, like I was saying, you haven’t really told me much about what’s actually going to happen. I just know that we’re getting all dressed up for some rich guy’s wedding.”

Kurapika couldn’t help noticing that despite the ambiguous circumstances, Leorio looked entirely happy to be there. It was excitement undeserved on his own part, he knew. He almost wished Leorio seemed more like he was being dragged along.

He fiddled with a napkin in front of him as the thought out his explanation. The shop was crowded enough that he didn’t feel eavesdropping would be an issue...but he kept his voice low just to be sure.

“The groom’s father is the last known owner of one of the pairs of scarlet eyes. It appears he’s sold them, but I don’t know when, or to whom. The data of any past exchanges should be on the home computer in their mansion, where the wedding reception is being held.”

He fished around in his pocket for a moment, also using the pause to gauge whether or not Leorio was following, and still seemed willing--which he was, and he did, surprisingly. He held up the object he had been looking for--a gold necklace centered with a oval-shaped locket mechanism. He popped the locket open for just a second so that Leorio could see what was inside.

“This SD card contains any passwords we should need to get into the family’s accounts. We can also save what I need to extract on it, along with...some other things.”

He didn’t feel like mentioning what the man he had hired had asked for in return. It was despicable--but none of his business, and a necessary burden to get to what he needed for himself.

“Did you program all that by yourself?” Leorio asked, jaw slightly slackened in awe.

“No,” Kurapika said, “I hired a Hacker Hunter. We’re getting him data as part of his payment. That’s the ‘other things.’”

Leorio looked considerably relaxed, as if he had been expecting a heist or hostage scenario of some sort--not that Kurapika could blame him for thinking down that track.

“Oh. That doesn’t sound too bad. We just have to find this home computer?”

“Without getting caught, yes.”

Leorio batted his hand dismissively. “No problem! I’m sure we’ll get free refreshments, too!”

Kurapika had to suppress a smile. “We’re in business, then.”

 

Per Kurapika’s demands, they arrived early to the ceremony, though strategically late enough that they were amongst other near-strangers to the groom’s family. They were greeted by a young cousin on the bride’s side of the family, who seemed to be acting as much as they were in her recollection of the Lutzes.

Their smooth entrance didn’t ease any of Kurapika’s tension, though. That was by far the easiest part.

Leorio ambled along beside him, their arms joined as they found non-reserved seats towards the back of the pews. His steps were clumsy in his attempts to even their differing paces. Kurapika refused to speed up; it wasn’t his fault Leorio’s legs were so long.

He reached into the front of the full-length mink he had donned back in his hotel room, checking to see that the locket was still there. He wasn’t sure how it would’ve gone anywhere, but the compulsion to check had nonetheless bothered him every few minutes since they’d left.

He felt Leorio slump a bit in the seat next to him, and delivered a swift, light kick to his shin. He straightened his own posture as a sort of demonstration once he had earned his partner’s offended glance.

“This is a formal event,” he chided.

He pretended not to hear Leorio echoing him under his breath. He wasn’t going to retort, as Leorio had at least straightened out his posture.

Posture aside, Leorio did know how to clean up. Kurapika had to admit that. It was saying something, too, considering his usual affinity for suits regardless of dress code. His dress differed from the usual, though, the suit strictly black and white with a bowtie in place of one of his various colored neckties. His hair was slicked to one side rather than spiked upward, and, looking at him, Kurapika thought it felt almost too formal. In a way, he missed the mess of spikes.

“What?” Leorio mouthed at him, and he realized he might’ve been scrutinizing him too closely.

“Nothing.”

He figured he had earned his time looking Leorio over. The other had done plenty of gawking of his own before they’d left the motel.

He had started to regret the choice of a red dress, looking around at the largely pastel-clad guests. But it was no matter; he had the mink for the time being, and the lighting would be much dimmer in the hall where the reception was to be held.

 

The ceremony was dull, and seemed to pass slowly. Kurapika’s anxieties about their mission later on only grew as time passed, so that he was incredibly on edge by the time the ceremony had ended and they had been shuttled over to the family’s mansion.

Leorio placed a hand on his bare shoulder as they passed through coat check in the entryway and into the ballroom. He wasn't sure if it was meant to be a comfort or a part of their husband-and-wife act, but he didn't plan on shrugging him off either way.

Leorio nudged him with his hip.

“Hey,” he murmured, “do you think, before we go infiltrating this place, we could grab something to eat? Those mini kabobs look great, and they've got champagne…”

Kurapika obliged with a shrug. They weren’t in any rush yet, and it would probably do good to assimilate into the party before sneaking off at all. He followed Leorio to one of the many refreshment tables laid out and turned down his own plate and champagne.

He spoke close to Leorio’s ear while he leaned down to peruse the food options. His fingers lightly gripped his bicep.

“You should sit down with your plate when you’re ready. I’ll head over to the computer room alone now, to arouse less suspicion. You remember where it was on the blueprints?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Leorio responded, plucking a few grapes from a fruit tray. “I’ll make conversation for a few minutes and then say I should look for my wife. You briefed me plenty.”

“I wanted to make sure you understood!” he retorted, agitated but still hushed. “I’ll text you if anything changes.”

“Got it.” Kurapika nearly veered away from the kiss he pressed to his temple then. “I’ll see you there, honey.”

His grip tightened to a vice on Leorio’s arm before he walked off and re-composed himself. Playing up the married couple act was fine, but Leorio didn’t have to look so delighted about it. His face felt warm--with frustration.

After a few minutes of faux-aimless wandering, checking and re-checking for cameras and passerby in the halls, and another minute of lock-picking, Kurapika had made his way into the family office. He took one look around the darkened room before popping the SD card out of its place in his locket and booting up the computer. He didn’t need to wait for Leorio, did he? The extra time was surely only time in which they could be found out.

The card enabled him to get past all startup defenses easily, but it still took long enough that the sound of a doorknob turning interrupted his frustrated foot-tapping by the time the home screen had loaded.

Kurapika froze, chains conjured and poised to attack, until he recognized the silhouette in the doorway and let out a sigh. He let the chains dematerialize.

“Get in, quick. Shut the door,” he demanded, turning back to the screen.

To his frustration, Leorio joined him at the computer and leaned in close, hovering inches behind him as he looked over the screen.

“You get what you need yet?” he asked, his breath tickling Kurapika’s ear. He shoved him back with his elbow.

“No. Could you just watch the door?”

Leorio in such close quarters made him oddly jittery now that it wasn’t part of their act, and shaking fingers certainly weren’t what he needed just then. It wasn’t like Leorio could help, either--or like Kurapika necessarily wanted him seeing the sort of files he might be digging through.

He was far from adept with technology himself, so it was a good thing the Hacker Hunter had given him some tips on where to look along with the passwords. He would be scanning bank accounts and e-mails, along with any financial documents saved. Nothing too difficult.

He ignored Leorio’s grumbling from the door area and focused on the task at hand, quickly saving anything that might prove relevant. He only had time to scan things briefly, but any mention of the Scarlet Eyes tunneled his vision. He was surprised to find the detailing of their purchase--the date, the buyer’s information, and his location--so easily. Then again, he was looking through secured documents. All he had left to do was find the bank information the hacker had wanted…

“Kurapika!” Leorio called in a muted shout. “Footsteps!”

Kurapika’s head turned quickly from the screen, and he noted that Leorio looked just as panicked as he felt, eyes wide and all muscles tensed. There wasn’t time to leave, so they just had to look inconspicuous… He shut off the computer monitor, but that wasn’t enough. What would two people have been doing in a dark room alone? He couldn’t think of a good enough excuse…

In the seconds before the door’s opening, Leorio rushed across the room and grabbed Kurapika by his waist, pressing him up against the wall. Kurapika only had time to register the half-fearful, half-apologetic look on Leorio’s face before his lips smashed against his own and the door flung open, flooding the room with light from the hall. On some instinct he hadn’t known he had possessed, Kurapika let his mouth fall open slightly and tilted his head into what he’d processed was a kiss.

It occurred to him that he returned it before he realized it was part of an act.

The shout of the armored guard in the door jolted Kurapika from his thoughts, and them both from their compromising position. “HEY! Hands in the-- o-oh.”

Leorio puffed up his chest and took in a deep breath before releasing his fabricated fury on the flustered-looking intruder. Kurapika could only watch in awe, his own face probably still just about as red as the guard’s.

“Come on! Can’t a guy get some privacy with his wife around here?!” he bellowed. The guard had already backed slightly into the hall. “It’s our anniversary, you know! And your bosses telling us to show up for this damned wedding, miles from home...where else are we supposed to get some alone time!?”

The scenario all seemed a bit nonsensical to Kurapika, but they had luckily been faced with a rather timid guard. He didn’t seem too eager to argue, and had already begun shutting the door.

“Right, sir, sorry, uh-- please close the door on the way out once you’re...done…”

Leorio slammed the door shut, and Kurapika heard a muffled “enjoy your evening” from the other side. Once the guard was out of earshot, Leorio held him by the shoulders, the apologetic look on his face again.

“Sorry, Kurapika, jeez - I’m sorry,” he said, patting him on the arm. “I didn’t want to do that, but it felt like I had to, you know? I wasn’t sure if you had a better idea, and we were screwed if we didn’t do something, and--”

Kurapika cut him off, brushing his hands from his shoulders. He wasn’t angry, not like Leorio seemed to think he was. He would’ve preferred some warning, or a different scenario for his first kiss, but considering the circumstances…

“No, that was fine,” he reassured, “it was genius, actually. By your standards.”

Leorio flushed slightly and scratched at the back of his neck with one hand. “Oh, well, you know--hey!”

Kurapika resumed his work with a smirk on his face and a steadfast denial of the remaining heat in his cheeks and the floating feeling in his stomach.

 

They returned by cab a few hours later.

Kurapika’s coat was replaced on his shoulders, but he had started to shed the elaborate ensemble of jewelry he had been wearing. By the last half hour of their trip, he was left with gold-laden pockets and a disheveled head of once intricately curled hair.

He sighed, sinking into the cab’s backseat and partially into Leorio. To his surprise--and mild heartache--he felt an arm come to rest across his shoulders.

He sat himself up enough to look his temporary companion in the eye. They opened their mouths to speak at the same time.

“Go on,” Kurapika urged.

“I just wanted…” For a moment Leorio hesitated, and Kurapika thought he saw a flash of something burning, something like longing in his expression.

It must’ve just been in his own head; it was hard to tell in the dark.

“I just wanted to apologize, again, for sort of...kissing you back there.” A nervous chuckle broke their eye contact. “I know it was--weird.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes dismissively. “It saved the mission. I was just about to thank you again for your help.”

His own voice sounded far too distant and business-like, and a part of him wanted to reach out, to rewind their conversation just a few minutes, to give them more time in the cab before it dropped Leorio at the airport. That same part wished Leorio had said something else about their kiss.

Another part of him prevailed, and he kept quiet for the rest of the ride.

 

When his phone rang a week later, Kurapika considered. His thumb hovered over the green “Answer” key for three rings before he slid the phone into his back pocket. He told himself he was much too busy--and kept telling himself that through the next four calls.