Chapter Text
Oswald was waiting patiently in the car. His mind was still foggy from what they did at arkham he felt like he wasn’t completely in reality but to be fair reality was also a weird place to be in. He just escaped from Arkham with his crush and stole a car so they could get their cat and are now going to visit his mother's grave. To be even fairer he would do it all again just to spend time with Edward. He remembers his mothers words: life only gives you one true love. This was true love. He could feel it like he’s never felt it before.
He came back to reality when Ed opened the back door putting Mr Penguin, who was meowing loudly inside the cat carrier, in the foot space behind the driver's seat. Ed opened the drivers door before stopping in place in sudden realisation.
“Oh gosh I need to go get a couple things that could implicit me for murder. I’ll only be another moment.” Ed ran back into the apartment and Oswald laughed thinking of his panicked face.
Mr Penguin meowed upset in the backseat.
“My mother would have loved you. She told me she used to have a cat, a massive white cat her family got to eat these loose mice. I think her name was oh it was snow in Hungarian I believe. Hó oh I have no idea if that’s how to pronounce it my mother would be scolding me right now, Mr Penguin.” Oswald reminisced and the cat stayed quiet while he talked. It was a very sweet gesture but as soon as he was done Mr Penguin went back to his whining.
Edward came back into the car holding an officer's badge and his ex’s glasses. Oswald couldn’t help the slight jealousy he felt at the idea of his ex. Joy was brought back to him when he remembered she was long dead.
“I really should get rid of these.” Was all he said before starting the car and heading to the cemetery. Ed stayed pretty calm while driving, no longer speeding just trying to not act suspicious; he'd given Oswald his jacket to wear over top of the Arkham uniform, promising to stop and get him a change of clothes after their visit to Gertrude. Oswald had then demanded to get a change beforehand not wanting his mother to see him wearing the prison uniform. Which is why Oswald was stuck in the car again while Edward ran into a target saying he would only get what was cheap and close by.
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Ed came back with a grey hoodie and black pants and Oswald had the audacity to scoff at the clothes.
“I’m gonna look like a commoner at her grave, Ed!” Oswald starts to yell before quieting down still in the target parking lot. None of the target customers think anything of the man in prison attire yelling though.
“Yeah that’s the whole point of not being suspicious. You know, wearing disguises, not getting caught by the GCPD?” Edward rolled his eyes.
“Fine. Whatever, I suppose it’s better than the arkham clothing.” Oswald took off the arkham shirt and Ed openly stared at the shirtless torso, becoming quickly disappointed as it was replaced by the hoodie. Edward thankfully had the decency to look away when Oz changed his pants.
It only took a couple more minutes to get to the graveyard. The news on the radio announced Oswald’s escape but they didn’t let out any information on his accomplice because they were ‘Still investigating on a few leads’ it sounded like they were just upset that a gcpd worker broke him out cause Ed was pretty obvious in their escape. He doesn’t remember much of it but he did have to fill out a form to be able to visit Oswald in the first place, they have his information.
“If you’re a good little cat then you can come with us.” Oswald points at Mr Penguin through the bars who innocently licks at it.
“Oz I’ll carry him. We should really invest in a harness that would be much easier for the little guy.” Ed took the kitten out of his cage and held him in one arm being small enough that he didn’t need to use two.
The walk to Gertrude’s grave was somber and quiet as one should be at a graveyard. Gertrude’s grave had white lilies nearly placed in the center. Oswald softened seeing Edward had kept his promise, taking the other’s hand and giving it a tight squeeze. Ed reciprocated the squeeze and neither let go.
“Thank you. Truly Eddie I- I don’t know where I would be without you.” He looks up at the taller man.
“Probably dead.” Edward truthfully answers.
“Well yes I would probably have died in the woods.” Oswald awkwardly agrees not wanting to imagine his near death. Edward, for once picking up on his tone, looked away not wanting to feel the awkward tension.
“Did you know Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave?” Ed asks, trying to break the awkward tension in the air. This instead makes Oswald grimace and let go of Ed’s hand. A gesture both disliked.
“You’re not suggesting such a thing are you?” He asks offended and Edward immediately blushes.
“No no of course not! It was just a uh fun fact plus what would we do with Mr Penguin I mean not that we would actually- I’m just gonna go sit in the car.” Ed goes and walks back to the car to presumably sit in embarrassment with Mr Penguin.
When Edward is out of earshot Oswald chuckles.
“You always told me mother life gives you one true love. I think I have found my true love and he’s an idiot. I love him either way.” The Penguin's heart flutters looking at the perfect white lilies. He can imagine Ed picking them out getting the perfect bouquet.
“I must tell him how I feel. I cannot waste this opportunity. I mustn't go any longer without him. I love you mother and I miss you.” He rushed back to the car as fast as he could go with his limp.
They start driving again with Mr Penguin sitting in Oswald’s lap after their failed attempt to get him back into the carrier.
“If we crash you better sacrifice yourself for him.” His eyes didn’t leave the road that was soon t
“Well just don’t crash and we’ll be fine.”
“Thank you for your wise advice, Oswald. Truly what would I do without you.” Being around the Penguin sharpened his sense of sarcasm.
“Without me? You probably wouldn’t be running from the law right now that’s for sure.” Oswald scoffs like it’s a pleasure to be running from the cops and skipping town with a cat and your crush. He was not wrong.
“I mean I did kill multiple people.” Ed admits proudly.
“Yeah but they don’t know that, do they?” Oswald asks, knowing the answer. Ed rolled his eyes and shook his head not bother to verbally respond.
“You know you never did solve my riddle.” Ed mentions after a long period of silence. At the mention of riddles or particularly this one riddle he sees his hallucination in the backseat smiling at him.
“Oh the riddle you asked at your apartment. Sorry I was a bit busy being arrested. Would you mind asking me again?” Oswald seemed sincere. Nobody had wanted to talk about his riddles before it filled him with some sort of giddy excitement and he nearly let go of the steering wheel to shake his hands. Nearly.
“No, it's fine. It’s not an important riddle anyways.”
“Liar.” His hallucination speaks up.
“No please I don’t think it will leave my mind if I don’t answer it now.”
“I can’t be bought but I can be stolen with a glance. I'm worthless to one but priceless to two what am I?” Edward recites and his hallucination nods happily in the rear view mirror, Ed tries to adjust it but he just reappears in the mirror no matter what.
“Can't be bought but can be stolen? A heart? You can buy a heart though I would know. Breath? Steal someone’s breath?” Oswald thought aloud.
“You're warm but not close enough.” Ed gets worried, even a little nervous that he might actually find the answer. He needs the riddle to be answered. It's a compulsion deep inside but the idea that his one true friend, the only one who’s ever understood him, would dislike him is enough to ease the need for answers.
“Can I phone a friend?” Oswald jokes eyebrowsee creasing in thought.
“You have other friends?” They both laugh. It's a warm moment. The heater in the car blows with extra intensity and the sign on the highway allows Ed to go faster as if he was chasing this feeling. The world and everything around him was encouraging this feeling. Then Odwald’s face changed and he stopped laughing and the heater stopped working.
“Love the answer is love.” He breathes out and Ed doesn’t trust his voice so he just nods eyes not leaving the road hands tight on the wheel.
The only thing stopping the car from being in tense silence is Mr Penguin’s purrs.
“You can just forget I said anything, it's fine.” Ed says after his internal clock hits three full minutes of silence.
“I think I love you. No I’m sorry I don’t think I know I do. I’m in love with you, Edward Nygma.” Oswald declares and he doesn’t miss the way the car speeds up for a few seconds before Ed adjusts himself.
“Oh golly. Oh dear, this is just beautiful. I’m running from the law with my boyfriend!” His excitement gets the better of him and he yells the last part to the near empty highway. The only other car that passes honks in encouragement the driver sticking his fist out.
“Boyfriend hey?” Oswald scratches Mr Penguin behind his pointy ear. Edward turns his eyes from the road to look at Oz, the blush clear on his face.
“I’m sorry, are we not saying boyfriends just yet? I’m a bit fast aren't I?” The disappointment was clear in his voice; it was kind of cute.
“No. I think boyfriend is the appropriate term.” Oswald decides with a nod containing his excitement unlike Edward who was grinning like the madman he literally was.
Ed glances back at the rear view mirror his hallucination shared his blush and smile. He was gonna do it right this time this won’t end like Kristen. he would do anything to make sure it won’t be like Kristen.
“You know being shot was horrible but if it meant meeting you in those woods it was worth it. I would take every single bullet that’s been shot at me if it means I get to love you, Edward Nygma.” Oswald’s words warm his heart. Ed considers himself a lover of rhymes and riddles but he knows Oswald is perfect in the way of poems. Oswald has a way with words that makes everything he says feel poetic straight out of a love letter. Edward has never been good with words or emotions but he doesn’t feel jealous or envious of Penguin’s ability no he feels admiration and respect.
“So where are we headed, Eddie?”
“There’s a motel around an hour from here. My back up plan was to leave Kristen’s body in one of the motel rooms with officer doughterys badge then I realised how fucking stupid that was and just burried her.”
“Edward! You did not just say that f word around Mr Penguin.” Oswald scolds holding his hands over the cat's ears. Ed cannot tell if he’s joking or not.
“Gosh I’m sorry Mr Penguin, that was not okay language.” He scratches Mr Penguins chin and all is forgiven.
“Anyways the motel has no form of security. It's pretty popular in the drug world so don’t talk to anyone.”
“And how do you know about this?” Oswald suspiciously asked. Ed looked over seeing Oz petting Mr Penguin like a stereotypical movie villain.
“I dabble in weed. Occasionally.”
“You continue to surprise me, Nygma.” Ed understands his hobby surprising people his dealer did think he was a narc for a long time.
“Oh dear I left my bong in the apartment. Hopefully they won't search it too hard.” Eds face morphs into worry. He realises it’s a bit silly to worry about the cops finding a bit of weed when he’s literally killed people but they would only have evidence of one of those things.
The drive to the motel is bumpy and long but it doesn’t matter much. Oswald begs to stop for food but Edward assures him that they have great vending machines at the motel which doesn’t stop Oswald from continuing to beg. It doesn’t take long for Mr Penguin to start begging too before Ed reluctantly pulls into a pizza place. The outside looks rundown and dirty but other than the small block of shops and the motel that was fifteen minutes away there weren't many options.
Ed squinted at the menu sticky taped onto the outside of the shop’s window.
“They’ve only got cheese, Hawaiian, and meat lovers. I'm fine with any so it’s up to you I suppose.” Edward reads out from the menu.
“If we don’t get cheese I’m crashing the car.”
“Cheese it is.” Ed nodded, fishing his wallet out of his pants pocket and headed inside. The smell of weed was as obvious as the red eyes on the cashier. The long haired teenager sleepily chuckled when he walked in. Ed suppressed a groan and just ordered his pizza feeling nervous any moment he was apart from Oswald. The feeling reminded him of how he was with Kristen and his brain provided an image of Oswald’s throat being squeezed by Ed’s strong grip. He shook his head and promised it would be different this time.
It wouldn’t be like Kristen 2.0 no Oswald was different in every imaginable way which is one of the best things about him. He loved him for him and not because of the fake tough guy front his hallucination made him show. That was also another topic of conversation he should bring up to Oswald especially if his other self wasn’t leaving.
This relationship would be a lot but it would be everything he could ever want. His happy ever after hiding from the cops in a motel with his boyfriend and their cat. It was perfect. Not even the cardboard tasting pizza could ruin this for them.