Chapter Text
Hugo woke up alone. The cold grey light of the early morning peeked through the window, already hinting at the fact that it was going to be a rainy day. That was fine, it was too sunny in Corona most of the time. A little change of pace would be welcomed.
He turned, pulling a pillow down to his chest to cuddle in place of his boyfriend. It was still warm, meaning that Varian couldn’t have been up for very long. In his sleep-addled state, it took Hugo a while to regain his memories of the night before. But once he did, his eyes shot open with the horrible realization of how much he’d fucked up.
Going back to sleep was forgotten in favour of scampering up to clean up the mess he’d made previously, but unfortunately it was too late. Varian, the bastard, had already cleaned up the tray that morning. All that remained of the spilled meal was the slight scent of ham hanging in the air.
Ruddiger, the spoiled little thing, was still curled up asleep by the extinguished fire. The round puffball owed Hugo big time for that meal. The meal that had been knocked to the floor. Stupidly so.
Hugo groaned, putting his face in his hands as he flopped back against the bed. He’d embarrassed himself last night more than he ever had before. And now he didn’t know what he was going to do about it. At least he had some time to think of some way to write it off before Varian came back from wherever-
“Oh, you’re awake! Good.”
Fuck.
In the doorway to their bathroom stood Varian, eyes sleepy and shining and hair still tostled in that beautiful, dorky way that drove Hugo up the wall. It wasn’t fair that he woke up looking that pretty. Why couldn’t he have the decency to look like shit in the morning?
“Barely,” Hugo muttered back as he tucked himself back under the covers and reached out for his boyfriend.
Varian rolled his eyes and got back into bed with him, readjusting him to lay down on his chest. Hugo gladly nuzzled against it, placing a kiss against the side of the other’s covered breast. His boyfriend snorted and flicked at his forehead in retaliation.
“Do that again and you’re going to lose cuddling rights, you big baby.”
“Mmm not a baby. And ‘s just like when you start kissing my chest.”
“You’re such a baby,” Varian cooed. “Just a sweet lil guy who can’t sleep without being snuggled. A big sap of a man who acts all tough but won’t go to sleep without a goodnight kiss.”
“Shut up. I thought you liked pampering me. Dick.”
That got another chuckle out of Varian and part of Hugo swelled with pride. He was making his boyfriend laugh. He was doing a good job at being a partner. And hopefully, the light hearted air around them meant that the previous night would be forgotten about. Nothing would have to be done. It would all just go back to normal.
Fat chance.
He counted how long it took for his boyfriend to break. A minute passed. Then two. Varian, for what it was worth, made it to five minutes before speaking about the incident.
“Are you ready to talk about it, Hugo?” Varian asked, trepidation in his voice as the words left his mouth.
Hugo gulped, swallowing down the bile that built up in his throat at the thought of talking about it. He felt sick, but he knew that nothing would come up even if he tried. There was nothing in his stomach to come up since he’d screwed that whole process last night.
“No, but if we don’t talk about it now we’re never going to, so just lay it the fuck on me I guess.”
“Hugo, we don’t have to, really, if you need time-”
“It’s never going to be enough time, Varian!” His voice came out louder and harsher than intended. When he looked up, he was met with blue eyes brimming with hurt. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…look, I’ve been here for how many months and I haven’t talked about it? If we’re going to talk about it, we just have to do it.”
Varian worried his lip with his big, dorky teeth. Even as his face matured, those chompers still stayed the same. Bulky and adorable. Why couldn’t this just be a normal morning where he could lean over and kiss him? Instead, they were stuck doing this.
“Ok. Well, there are two ways we can talk about this. We could talk about it emotionally, try to work out your feelings about food and comfort and eating and see if we can try to unravel a bit of it. Or, we can do things factually. You won’t have to talk about stuff or explain anything; we just go through the logical steps of what needs to be done and see how far we can go with just that.”
There was one thing that Hugo knew and that was the fact that Varian was an emotional mess of a person, guided by his Id and temper most of the time. The fact that he would even consider trying to set that part of himself aside just to talk about this? It was sweet. He was so fucking sweet, it made Hugo feel like not just his teeth, but his entire skull was rotting out of his head.
“Factually. If we could.” Hugo said.
His boyfriend nodded in response before shifting over to their night stand and pulling out a pad of paper and a pencil from the drawer.
“Ok. Factually it is then. Fact: the body needs a specific amount of calories to function healthily day to day. You aren’t getting those calories. So, we’re going to start with an end goal for you, and then we’ll work our way down to figure out ways to achieve that goal. Sound fair?”
Hugo didn’t say anything, he only nodded. Varian looked like he wanted to say more, but thank the sun that he didn’t. He just went right back to writing his notes.
“So, let’s decide what a good end goal would be. How about this? End goal: you’re able to eat three square meals a day, plus snacks.”
Three? Three meals a day and snacks? That was so much food, that was the kind of meal plan that those rich assholes in the upper rings of Ingvarr would have.
“Well that, uh, sounds like a lot, Vare-” Hugo started but was interrupted by Varian raising the pencil to his lips.
“It doesn’t mean that you have to. Lots of people who’re plenty healthy eat either more or less than that. Depending on their body type, the work they do, their mood, and several other factors. When I say that’s the end goal, I don’t mean that every day you’re going to eat that much. I just mean that we want to get your body to a point where if one day you decide you do want to eat that much, it won’t make you sick. The most important parts are going to be eating breakfast and something for dinner. Oh! That can be the first step in working our way down.”
His body relaxed more as Varian went to scribble what he’d just said down on the paper. It really was calming to be dealing with this in more of a fact-by-fact way. They were just doing routine maintenance, like they would on a machine if it were to break. And Varian was smart, he trusted the things he was saying. He could be logical and straightforward when he wanted to be.
“Ok so! End goal is being able to eat three meals and a snack. And before that we want to make sure you get at least breakfast and dinner every day. And to do that, we’re going to start with just making sure you eat breakfast. And to get to that point, we’re going to focus on getting you foods that you like to eat. What’re your favourite foods? …That really sounds like a first date question doesn’t it? What’s your favourite colour, what’s your zodiac sign, what foods do you like? So glad we didn’t get together the traditional way. We would’ve never made it.” Varian grinned as he spoke the last part, causing Hugo to chuckle.
He was glad that Varian still had a bit of a sense of humor about all of this. He’d been worried that his boyfriend was going to start treating him like a porcelain doll.
“Hey, I’m great on first dates. I always put-OUCH!” Hugo was halted from what he was saying by a strong pinch to his ear. “What was that for!”
“You were about to say something lewd. Which could be considered emotional. And we’re being factual right now. So, you got overruled. Try again.” Varian’s grin turned into something smugger as he spoke.
Hugo huffed and gave him a frown before he decided to rest his face on his boyfriend’s chest in a way that made his chin dig into it. Varian winced, but was too stubborn to give in and push him off.
Guess there was no way to avoid this question. What were his favourite foods? Did he even have those? There were things that went down easier than others, but he wouldn’t consider any of the gruel he was forced to eat a favourite. The only things that came to mind were-
“Bread. I like bread. When you make it right, the texture for each specific kind of bread is always the same. And it’s filling but you don’t realize it. It’s a food that makes eating not really feel like eating. You ball it up, chew twice, swallow, and you’re good to go. Easy transaction. And sweets.”
There was something about sweets that made them easier to digest than savory foods. Sugar could be so sweet that it just looped back around into tasting like nothing. He got a bit of flavour, but there was an overall blandness to them that made them edible.
“Ok.” Varian scribbled some more. “We’ll think of different ways to serve up bread with different toppings, working our way up from plain bread to bread with spreads and dips. And we can start keeping more sweets around.”
Hugo hated hearing what he’d said repeated back at him.
“Fucking hell. Bread and sweets. I sound like a bratty child who just doesn’t want to eat his vegetables. That’s what you’re dealing with, Goggles.”
That sentence was met with yet another pinch to the ear.
“Factual, Hugo. We’re sticking with facts. Fact: people can struggle with eating certain foods. It doesn’t make you a brat. At least, not when it comes to food. You can be a real brat about literally everything else though.”
“Oh, so you can make jokes but I can’t?”
“Correct, glad you’re catching on.”
A huffy laugh escaped Hugo’s lips. This wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. They were still playful, joking. Despite the subject matter.
“Still. Not the healthiest diet ever.” Hugo said, peeking at the paper as Varian wrote.
His boyfriend simply shook his head.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s healthy. Right now, we’re just focused on getting you to eat. And the foods you picked aren’t necessarily unhealthy either. Sure, we’re going to have to introduce you to a wider variety of stuff eventually so you can get different kinds of nutrition in your diet. But bread has lots of carbs, those are good for giving you energy. And your body needs sugars. Lots of sweets also have fruit toppings and fillings. I mean, they’re not as nutritious as raw fruits and veggies, but what they offer your body is still important.”
Varian took that moment to set down his pencil and reach up to stroke Hugo’s face. It was an action that caused him to melt instantly. There would never be a time where Varian touched his face and he wouldn’t immediately turn into a pile of putty.
“Hue, look at me. It’s more important to me that we get you to eat than it is to worry about what exactly you’re eating. First priority is working on your relationship with food. After that relationship improves, then we’ll start balancing out what you’re eating if we need to. Ok?”
It took a few shuddering breaths for Hugo to respond. Damn his boyfriend for being so kind and considerate and caring. Why did he have to make it so easy to open up to him?
And there was another terrible thought that twitched at the edge of his brain along those same lines. What if he’d opened up to him sooner? What if, months ago when they first got together, he just told him what was wrong with him?
He’d spent all this time miserable and he didn’t even have enough sense to notice it. Or enough sense to try to fix it.
“Yeah. Ok.” That was all he could say without crying. He couldn’t let himself cry right now, not after he’d said that he didn’t want to get emotional.
The rest of their morning went by with them tangled up in each other. Hugo nestled closer into the crook of Varian’s neck as their process continued. They would think of other ways to help him eat, things that would make it easier to do so. No meals around people other than Varian. They would start with just making sure he had something for breakfast and some kind of snack later on. And they would try to get him to drink more juice and smoothies to fill in for nutrition.
An overall solid plan. Easy to follow, with enough wiggle room where they could adjust as need be.
“Anything else you would like to add?” Varian asked after they’d worked everything out. They would try out this new plan for a week, see how Hugo did, and then they would up his food intake just a little. Then if that didn’t work out, well, hopefully by then they would have a plan B.
“Yes, I would like to add that my boyfriend is handsome and amazing and I love him so much. Even though I’ve had to deal with his nasty morning breath for this entire conversation.”
Suddenly Hugo found himself being pushed off Varian and dumped onto the other side of the bed.
“You’re the worst. I’ve had to deal with your morning breath all morning too!”
Hugo countered by grabbing onto Varian’s wrist and pulling him over to him. His boyfriend was all too glad to let himself be pulled, despite being several times stronger than him.
“Yeah, but I don’t sleep with my mouth open. Or drool. My breath may smell bad, but yours absolutely reeks.”
A pillow was thrown over his face, Varian grunting above him as he playfully tried to smother him. Laughter rang out between the two as Hugo retaliated by poking at his sides.
“Eck! Stop that! Tickling is cheating! It- pffft ha!-it takes no skill, it’s just a bodily rea-ha!-reaction!”
Varian couldn’t get a sentence out without laughing, his pillow quickly tossed to the side in favour of trying (not very hard) to fend off Hugo’s long fingers.
“Stop having such a ticklish body then.” Hugo countered as he moved from tickling Varian to pushing him back against the bed.
He didn’t stop there though. Skinny hands lifted up Varian’s shirt, exposing his tanned and freckled skin to the late morning air. His body was so different from Hugo’s. Solid and soft-looking. Muscled and maintained and actually fed. His heart jumped up to his throat for a moment, thinking about how his own sides were nothing more than pasty stretches of unhealthily taunt skin.
No. He couldn’t think of himself like that. Varian loved him, he thought he was beautiful just how he was. He wasn’t doing any of this to change how he looked; he was doing all of this to help him get healthier.
With that thought in mind, Hugo leaned down and blew a giant raspberry against Varian’s side, causing the short little alchemist to shriek out loud enough to cause Ruddiger to jump.
“Asshole! Dickhead! Stop it! Fucker!” Varian screeched through his laughter.
A foot found its way to Hugo’s side as he was kicked off, sending him toppling off the bed and onto the floor while chuckling.
“Ok, ok, I yield, Stripes, you win.”
Varian peered down from above him with a proud grin before sliding off the bed and helped him up, gathering him into his arms bridal style.
“Teeth brushing and bath time. Then maybe…maybe breakfast? I could make you some toast with a bit of honey on top?” Varian asked so hopefully that there was no way Hugo could ever reject him.
“Yeah. Yeah, ok. That sounds alright. Great actually.” He paused for a moment and leaned against the other’s chest as he walked them into their bathroom. “Thanks, Vare. For everything.”
“None of that. I want to do this for you, Hugo. We’re going to work through this together. You don’t have to thank me for that.”
Hugo nodded and reached up to cup his face, kissing at the side of his jaw.
“Actually, I was thanking you for finally getting up and brushing your nasty smelling teeth-”
With that, Hugo was promptly dropped.