Chapter Text
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Over the next few days, more of the Inquisition arrived at the castle. Cassandra welcomed them as often as she could, but typically Ellana and Anthony stood at the gates, and the servants showed them to their rooms. She tried to meet with them, welcome them on her own time, until, eventually, they had all arrived. Cassandra found herself spending an afternoon with Vivienne, at one point, meeting her between appointments in the garden by accident.
"Your majesty. You keep a lovely home."
"I have done little to it. The wife of the king before me had excellent taste."
"May she be blessed." Vivienne smiled and brushed a hand over a rose. "These flowers...they grow so vibrantly."
"Nevarra is known for roses," Cassandra said, admiring the blooms. "It was good of you to come, Lady Vivienne."
"But of course. Master Tethras is a trusted friend. I am happy to see that he is happy." She glanced at Cassandra. "Are the rumors true, then?"
"About my child?"
"I do not mean to pry--"
"You do, though." Cassandra stopped and looked at her. "I do not mind."
Vivienne bowed her head. "Forgive me, your majesty--"
"There is nothing to forgive. You are curious. You need only ask. I am with child, yes."
"You seem happy."
Cassandra smiled. "I am. I truly am."
Cullen and Josephine were the last to arrive, the day before the wedding. Josephine was mortified that they were so late, and apparently blamed the Commander for their delay. Ellana said it had been an amusing reunion.
"She wanted to personally apologize, but I told her you were resting, and would be available after the ceremony tomorrow."
Cassandra laughed. "But of course."
Ellana leaned against a bedpost. "Are you certain you wouldn't like to wear your mother's dress tomorrow? It would look lovely on you."
"It would not fit."
"Yes it would, but you are allowed to invent excuses, I suppose." She sighed. "Will you be happy to have this behind you?"
"You say that as if I should dread it. A wedding is a happy occasion."
"I don't know. You've been...distracted, as of late."
"I am only lost in thought."
"Good ones, I hope?"
"Yes."
A knock at the door interrupted them, and Varric came into the room. "Sorry to intrude, but I wondered if I could speak with the blushing bride for a moment?"
Ellana laughed. "You are supposed to be in your quarters, Master Tethras. It is tradition."
"Is that what we're adhering to now? Someone should have told me a year ago."
Cassandra waved him in. "It's fine, Ellana. Excuse us?"
"Of course, my lady." She bowed and closed the doors behind her.
Cassandra turned to Varric. "She is not wrong, you know."
"Yes, I know what a stickler you are for those sorts of things." He pulled her in and kissed her. "I didn't want to go to bed without...seeing you."
"Is that what we call it now?"
"No one has to get naked."
"Of course not." She sat at her vanity to begin unpinning her hair, but he stopped her. "Varric--"
"Let me," he said quietly. Cassandra nodded and put her hands in her lap, watching him undo her braid, setting the pins on the table. He was gentle, careful, and when he was done he came to stand beside her, looking at the two of them in the mirror. "We're a pair, aren't we?"
"Defying tradition from the very start," she murmured, turning toward him. "Have I told you how much I adore you?"
"You haven't," he said, and slowly knelt down in front of her. "But I could do with hearing it again." He laid his ear against her stomach, listening to the other world where their child grew. "I don't regret anything," he said. "I will never regret anything."
Cassandra stroked her fingers through his hair, tracing her ear with her thumb. "I am glad to hear that, my love."
"Is it wrong to stay here with you?"
"No."
"Then I want to. I want to stay with you, no matter what. No matter what's happening." He stood, looking down at her and drawing her close. Cassandra rested her cheek against his chest, closing her eyes. "Also Hawke snores and she doesn't know I left."
"You've been staying with Hawke?"
"She has trouble sleeping alone, right until she falls asleep and turns into a monster." Cassandra laughed. "I'm serious!"
"You may sleep here," she said.
Varric smiled. "Good. That's good."
If it was true that everyone in the Inquisition thought their marriage was a dreadful idea, no one seemed to show it, though Cullen looked a little green. He knelt and kissed Cassandra's hand, asking forgiveness for their earlier tardiness.
"I have been told to tell you that it is entirely my fault," he said. Josephine rolled her eyes. "It wasn't," he added. "But I will take the blame."
"The things we do for love," Cassandra said, and Cullen blushed fiercely.
"You look exquisite," Josephine said. Cassandra smiled -- she had refused, outright, to wear her mother's dress or anyone else's. She wore her nicest armor, her best boots, and her sword at her side. She would attend this ceremony as her truest self, and wear no one's expectations but her own.
When the guests had been greeted, Cassandra retreated into a small room off the side of the chantry, and closed her eyes to pray.
"There's my sister," Anthony said quietly, putting his hand on her shoulder. Cassandra turned and found herself wrapped in his embrace, so warm and familiar. "Look at you. You're beautiful."
"You are pleased?"
"Of course." He took her face in his hands. "I am immeasurably proud of you, sister. No matter what choices you have made until now, I know they have been guided by your infallible will." He smiled. "Do you remember when we were young? We would pretend to fight dragons in the garden behind the house."
"Mother gave us the swords. We had to hide them before Father came home."
"She told you that you would be a magnificent queen someday."
"I wonder how she knew?"
Anthony laughed. "My dear, how could anyone have expected any less from you?"
"I suppose." Outside, she heard the cleric begin to speak. "Go," she said. "I will follow."
"I should certainly hope so." He pressed one last kiss to her forehead, and disappeared.
Cassandra stood only in the room, closing her eyes once more.
You are a Pentaghast. You are descended from dragon hunters. You are Queen of Nevarra. You are a Seeker of Truth. You are sure and certain in your path. You will do the right thing.
Varric looked very handsome. It was something Cassandra would remember, even after what happened. And he smiled, and it was rich and genuine.
She would remember that everyone else in attendance looked a little ill, and that Ellana was wearing a dress Cassandra had never seen before. She would always remember how handsome her brother was, sitting there, holding his lover's hand.
She would remember seeing her reflection in the Chantry window, the glint of candlelight and sun streaming in shining on her armor. She would remember that she found herself beautiful, in that moment, and realized that the thought hadn't occurred to her since she was a teenager.
The cleric's voice was drowned out by her own thoughts, which ran in every direction. She had everything planned, down to the moment the wedding was over.
And then doubt washed over her.
And the cleric's words rushed into her mind, and she heard them so clearly. They were so final. She would be wed here, under these circumstances, and what would happen to her then?
What would happen to Varric?
What would happen to their child?
What could be done?
"Stop." The words came out of her mouth before she could think twice about it. The cleric looked confused, and so did Varric. "Please," she said. "No more."
"Your majesty--"
"I am terribly sorry," she said, then paused. "Actually, I am not. I am sorry for nothing, and I don't think I ever will be again." She looked at Varric. "My love, I think you have been lying to me."
"Cassandra--"
"And," she said, "I have been lying to us both." She turned to the cleric. "I will not be getting married today. Not like this."
Varric reached for her hand. "What are you doing?"
"I am releasing us both."
"You don't...want to marry me."
"On the contrary. I would very much like to marry you. I would simply rather not do it here, under these circumstances." She smiled. Varric grinned.
Somewhere behind them, she heard Cullen say, rather loudly, "Oh thank the Maker," followed by a groan as he was elbowed into silence by Josephine.
The cleric cleared his throat. "Should I...continue then?"
"No." Cassandra turned to her guests and looked at her brother. "But we are not quite finished. First and foremost, I believe this would be an excellent time to announce that I will be stepping down as queen."
From the front row Vivienne murmured, "Oh my," and Cassandra smiled.
"And as such, I will be required to name my successor." She stepped away from the cleric and closer to the pews, stopping in front of Anthony. "My dear brother."
"Maker take you, Cassandra."
"I name you as my successor."
"Of course you do."
"You will accept, won't you?"
He stood. "Once again, sister, you act without thinking."
"It has been good for me," she said, taking his hands in her own. "It has brought me the greatest joys."
Anthony sighed, closing his eyes. "Yes," he said. "It would be my honor to accept, your majesty."
"Good." She turned back to Varric. "And considering that we have an audience, it certainly would be a waste if no one was married today, don't you agree?"
Varric shrugged. "It'd be a tragedy."
Beside him, Hawke grinned like a maniac.
"Indeed." Cassandra turned back to her brother. "I do not think you would last a single day without a queen by your side," she said.
"Your confidence is stirring," he murmured, and turned to look at Ellana. She sat, completely rigid, staring right at him. Anthony knelt in front of her, reaching for her hands. "If I am to be king, I would be bereft without you, my love."
"Yes," Ellana said quietly. "You certainly would." She stood with him, looking at Cassandra. "You are certain, my lady?"
"Quite."
Ellana took a deep breath. "Alright."
The cleric looked between them. "Are we...continuing?"
"We are now," Cassandra said, and took Varric's hand, leading him to the pew. They sat together and watched as Anthony and Ellana stepped forward, repeating their vows. The cleric continued, and very quickly, Cassandra was removed as queen.
She had never felt a greater joy than this.
The celebration after lasted well into the night. The Inquisitor and Dorian led everyone in hours of dance, while Cassandra and Varric sat at the table with the newly crowned king and queen of Nevarra, who seemed to see no one but each other.
"I think I know how they feel," Varric said quietly.
"Do you now?"
"Mmhm." He took her hand and kissed her palm. "Where to next, Seeker Pentaghast?"
"Wherever you'd like. There is still a child between us."
"Oh don't worry, I didn't forget." Varric grinned. "I was thinking we could travel. Maybe fight some bandits, kill a few dragons."
"I will not make love to you right here," Cassandra said. "If that is what you are trying to talk me into."
"Why Seeker. Does the idea of dragon hunting--"
"Stop."
Varric laughed, pulling her close and kissing her right there, open mouthed and full, in front of everyone. Cassandra could not remember being as in love as she was right then. "Never," he said, and kissed her again.