Chapter Text
"What happened."
D'artagnan knew he wouldn't be able to leave, seeing as how Athos had seated himself between D'artagnan and the door. Yet He would avoid it as long as he could, buying himself more time until he though of a good reason to escape. "You already saw my injuries." He'd answered quietly, avoiding eye contact for the fear that he'd see the pure hate in them again.
Athos slid his eyes closed, wanting D'artagnan to trust him again. He wanted this to be over with as quickly as possible, because making it longer only made it hurt more for the both of them. "We only see what wounds others from their appearance. What hurts inside can't be seen as easily." Athos opened his eyes with a sigh, seeing D'artagnan fidgeting in his seat. He never did like being confronted by any of them, whether he was actually guilty or not. "You're hiding something."
"It's nothing." D'artagnan knew his eyes betrayed his words. Especially since he was currently unable to even look Athos in the face and was currently staring down the wooden table.
"Something being nothing can lead you down a dark path, D'artagnan. It almost led me into the fires." Athos had hoped opening himself up would rub off on him, making this a little easier for the two of them. He stared at him again, resignation filling his mind once he saw D'artagnan look uncomfortably away. He didn't want to make this worse by pressuring the boy into revealing anything he wasn't ready to yet. "I'm not entirely willing to force you to do this, but if it becomes an issue-"
"Do you..." D'artagnan's interruption came out as a whisper, almost being missed completely if Athos hadn't stopped mid sentence when he saw D'artagnan tense. His head was down and he was fiddling with his hands, looking as if he was unsure he was willing to continue. "Do you remember anything from when we were at camp in those woods? After the leaving the inn?" He looked up at Athos, eyes wide and afraid.
Athos felt his chest hurt, as the flashed memory broke through where he'd stuffed them away into the darkest corners of his mind. "It..." Came with the bad dreams, whether because his mind was still fighting to deny the truth or because he was going mad with guilt. Maybe both, after he'd heard his words. "It comes and goes. Whatever comes isn't really pleasant to say the least." Athos frowned, leaning forward in his chair and passing a hand over his face. The memories were impossible to deny as long as he kept fighting to forget them.
"So you know-"
"What I said. Yes." Athos sighed, heart heavy with guilt and shame. It was never his intention to cause this much harm. And yet he was always here. "And I'm sorry..." Something this horrible, having the people you care about take everything back and throw it in your face, he wouldn't be surprised if D'artagnan was never the same around him again. "I'm ashamed with each memory that I have of that meeting, but I know nothing can erase what had happened." Nothing can stop the memories either, as much as they'd both pray to be free of them. The room filled with a silence again, candle flickering as a smooth breeze crept in from the night.
D'artagnan was dragged back in time, remembering the candle light in that dark basement. His talks with his captor that threatened to break him completely if not for the stroke of luck he'd had in finally being able to escape. "Lucas...back inside that Inn, he said something-"
"And you believe it true." Athos cut in, failing in his attempt to hide the hurt behind his eyes.
I'm fighting not to..." D'artagnan admitted, muttering it as he shook his head to clear it. He didn't want to think about it more than he had to, but if he kept this to himself any longer he knew the trust would never be the same. You can glue something back together but you'll still know the cracks are there. "He said that you'd wanted to do this. To do this to me a-and all that you'd needed was the push." If his hands were shaking, he didn't notice, as he was too focused on the constant heartbeat he felt in his throat. "I keep trying to make sure that I forget what happened but I can't a-and... it scares me." He kept a tight grip on the hair by his ears, hoping to get his heartbeat down again.
Athos leaned in, "No one wants to hurt someone they care about so long as they're sane. But D'artagnan, you and I both know he put something in that wine. And that drink, even by itself is the worst type of poison you can give anyone to make sure nothing good comes. I know." Athos clenched his hands in front of him, watching his knuckles whiten in his lap. "Porthos and Aramis know just as well as you do that wine can push someone over the edge." He looked up again, catching D'artagnan's eyes, noticing the helplessness hidden behind them."But I want you to realize something. No matter what you may hear other say or even those doubts that may fill your mind, you are not a burden. You are worth more than anyone tells you, even myself." Athos stood over and crouched in front D'artagnan, sitting stiffly as he kept his eyes focused on the floor. Athos swallowed and stood again, looking away and feeling frustrated. Crossing his arms, he caught D'artagnan's glance and made sure to keep it. "You really want to know why you are a danger to us?"
D'artagnan slowly shook his head, letting his gaze fall. He was ready to hear the truth. They didn't need him. They never did. Everything, the training, the scolding and jokes were out of pity. They hated him.
"You are a danger to us..." Athos got down and placed both hands on D'artagnan's shoulders, making the gascon focus completely on him. "...For the same reason that I am a danger to the rest of you. Or Porthos, or even Aramis..." Athos glanced to his left, thinking. "Although, Aramis is typically a larger danger after all the trouble he brings from the women he chases..." Athos put his head down and sighed, hands losing their grip on D'artagnan's shoulders but still holding on. "I'm getting off track." He patted D'artagnan's shoulders again before standing, stretching his legs since he'd been wearing his boots for several days without stopping. "The thing is, D'artagnan, that the only reason we can risk each other is because we care too much for one another. That love can make either one of us a prime target for any of our enemies. Do you understand?" Athos turned and looked back at D'artagnan, now letting his body relax against the chair.
"I'm just a farmboy...." He muttered, crossing his arms tightly around him for comfort. He leaned against the seat, the firm wood against him keeping him from falling back and curling in on himself..
Athos nodded, realizing what else needed to be said. "You are a farmboy." Athos watched D'artagnan flinch and tense again. He walked up to him, making sure not to do anything to startle him again. "But you've become so much more than that D'artagnan. After all this training and experience you've turned into someone that I'm confident that you're father would be proud of. " He could've smiled at the way D'artagnan's eyes widened when his face snapped up to meet Athos' gaze. It felt so much better than his eyes widening in fear. "You are a brother. Our brother."
D'artagnan slammed into him with so much force that he would've broken something had he been standing wrong. And the arms wrapped around his neck were definitely comparable to Porthos's strength.
"You are a musketeer." Athos said quietly, standing straighter and returning the hug. He laughed, feeling like he was on the brink of drowning in guilt and took a deep breath. Smile strong on his face he hugged tighter, finally glad that things were going to get better. He could feel the shuddering in D'artagnan's shoulders while he talked." And not even a crazed murder will stop that. Hell, no one on this god forsaken earth will every be able to stop that because no matter what we will be by your side every step, even if we have to hold you up along the way. " D'artagnan let his arms fall, backing away and used his arm to wipe his face. His smile was back, the real one, not the one that looked as strained as a broken heart. When you smile even if it feels like the world's falling at your feet.
Wrapping an arm around D'artagnan's shoulder, he began walking with him to the window. The room felt much warmer and it was starting to be a little stuffy. That and to see just how late it had gotten outside. Seeing the white dots littered across the night sky was enough to let him know. No doubt this had left D'artagnan feeling exhausted, having to keep a tight hold on his doubt filled thoughts for so long and suddenly letting them go. "Whether from battle or bars, you can always put your trust in us." Athos leaned against the window frame, small smile on his face as D'artagnan nodded. "Never forget that."
"Finally."
Athos and D'artagnan froze in confusion, looking down to the street below.
Porthos was leaning against the building in front, grin shinning under the moonlight. "You have any idea how long we've been waiting for you two?" He pointed off to the side where Aramis was sitting on a barrel and looking disgusted. "Aramis almost passed out from standing so long."
Aramis went wide mouthed, brows furrowed as the anger and shock slapped him in the face."I did not! Did you not smell the demonic fungus growing from that man's 'produce'?" Aramis jumped up, yelling as he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand in an attempt to rid it of the smell. "Mon dieu it was like something had died in there! And I'm positive that 'fruit' had moved." He paced in front of the building rapidly, ranting about the producing slipping into spanish at a rapid pace.
"'s just your upper lip." Porthos looked away innocently, arms behind his back as he rocked on the heels of his feet.
"Excuse me?" Aramis stood firm and swiveled around to face his friend. Insulting a man was one thing, insulting his beauty was another. "My facial hair is so much cleaner than that fuzz you call a mustache."
"Don't mock this 'stache." Porthos warned, one hand petting his facial hair, the other pointing menacingly.
"Now I remember where those headaches are from." Athos grumbled into the nook of his arm. He and D'artagnan had been watching from the window and Athos was too lazy to go down and slap them both. He stood straight and called down, ignoring the snickering on his left and focusing on the two morons below him. "Are you two finished? I'd prefer that your scream didn't try to reach Spain."
"He started it!"
Athos groaned, palm hitting his face. He dragged the hand down his face and waved the two of them off again. "I'm finishing it. Just get in here before they send a patrol over from the noise. I'm not in the mood for fighting over some spoiled fruit." D'artagnan laughed as Athos huffed and walked back to his table, snatching a book from his nightstand as the two shoved into the door. " Idiots."
D'artagnan laughed, and headed to close the door. He stopped once he noticed the man run around the corner. His uniform was unkempt from running and he was red faced."You seen the two screaming out here?"
Patrol. D'artagnan glanced to his left, hearing the laughs from behind him. Shaking his head, he pointed down the alley, glad the patrolman turned so he wouldn't see the smile that would give him away."They ran that way, you can't miss them." The man nodded, and took to running again. D'artagnan quietly closed the door and took a deep breath. "So technically you two owe me right?" He turned with arms crossed and a smug look.
"What? How do we owe you?" Porthos cocked his head and Aramis confusedly raised an eyebrow.
D'artagnan raised his gaze to the ceiling and began to walk absentmindedly. "I mean someone could just mention that the two grown men the patrols searching for are hiding in this house." D'artgnan motioned over to Athos and shrugged, sinking into the other chair. "And terrorizing the owner and his company."
"Athos?" Aramis frowned, putting an arm over his chair to turn behind him.
They all looked back to see him with his feet propped up on his nightstand, nose in a book. "You ran in here, I know nothing." He sighed, turning the page. He had enough of an adventure with trouble and was going to take any opportunity to be home with a good story.
"Yeah, yeah. Fine what do you want." Porthos muttered as Aramis grumbled in spanish before smacking Porthos on the arm.
"A reason for me running away from Constance. I can't think of anything and I know she'll kill me if I don't come back." D'artagnan looked warily at the door and ran a hand through his hair. If someone could gather up all the guilt in the world and threw in a dollop of nervousness, you could partially see what kind of air the boy was radiating. He looked as a awkward as atheist at an extremely religious gathering.
Porthos, walked up and put a firm arm around D'artagnan's shoulders, leading him to the door. "Already got you covered, you've got allergies. You won't see 'em in her home again." He ruffled his hair before letting him step outside, cheshire grin widening."Now that makes you an' me even, don't you think?"
"Works for me." D'artagnan smiled, quickly spinning around and faced Aramis, looking unimpressed. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "You still owe me, though."
Aramis went wide eyed and D'artagnan held back a laugh at the disbelief shining on the sharpshooters face. "What?" Aramis turned to look back at Athos, hoping to get some means of escape. "You heard him." He hadn't even glanced up from the book.
They couldn't see it though, from where they were now anyway. The couldn't see the smile forming as they continued to argue. I'm surrounded by children, he sighed contently.
I'm surrounded by brothers.