Chapter Text
August 12th
“Froggy!”
Patton fell off the couch, yelping a bit. “Geez kiddo, you need to warn a guy before you- oh it’s just you.”
Remus placed a hand on his heart, pretending to be offended. “By the heavens, is this how you treat all of your boyfriends?”
“You’re my first, fake and only- …nevermind.” Patton shook his head as he got up from the floor. “What do you need?”
Remus hopped onto the couch, pulling Patton down with him. Patton yelps at this. “I wanted to see you. And ask you if I can watch a movie with you”
Patton blinked. He wasn’t expecting that. “You know you can join us. But please put on a onesie. Or even boxers at least, don’t be naked again-”
“That’s boring but I planned on doing that anyway. Wearing something shows that you have some influence on me. A good influence apparently.” Remus rests his chin on Patton’s shoulder. That looks uncomfortable but knowing Remus, he probably isn’t. “But that was all. At least, all I could remember. I wanted to ask you something else, but I forgot. Bye bye dearest!” However, before Remus could disappear, Patton grabbed Remus’s hand. Remus looked at Patton’s hand before looking back at him.
“... Dearest?”
For a moment, it felt like the air got tense. Remus looked out of the corner of his eye, then up, then down, anywhere that wasn’t Patton.
“You don’t have to tell me why you said it-”
“It was instinct!” Remus blurted out. “We’ve been doing this for a good while so I’ve gotten used to it. Yes, it’s only been a few weeks at most, but that’s more than enough time when you’ve been calling the other nicknames every day multiple times a day, and I do not think you should judge me-”
“Remus.”
Remus snapped his mouth shut.
Patton smiled. “You don’t need to justify anything. I was just surprised.” Although he did understand why Remus thought he’d have to explain. They were alone after all.
“So… that means I’m still invited to movie night?” Remus asked with a lopsided grin.
Patton nodded. “Why not? I actually like spending time with you.”
Remus sat up and blinked a bunch of times, the grin losing its place on Remus’s face. “.. you do?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Remus just stared at Patton with wide eyes, his head tilting slowly to the right. Sort of like a curious cat. Huh, Patton never thought he would describe Remus like a cat. But it sort of makes sense. Whenever Remus stared at their conjoined hands like it confused him, or when he’d come and wrap himself around Patton when Patton was busy. It’s just like a cat.
He didn’t mind Remus’s staring. At least, he doesn’t think so. But even if it did, he wouldn’t have noticed since this lingering feeling appeared. The feeling that someone else was watching.. That this person heard them saying something about the plan. Hopefully they didn’t… oh, what was Patton thinking? No one was watching them-
“You really need to stop staring at people.”
Nevermind. Most of Patton’s fears felt confirmed as he looked at Janus out of the corner of his eyes. Janus stood on the stairs, leaning over the railing. Remus focuses his sight onto Janus.
“Are you telling me you weren’t used to me or Virgil staring from time to time?”
“Virgil never stared at people, unlike you.” Janus sneered. “Our buddy Patton here is clearly uncomfortable.”
“I’m not, I was just lost in thought.” Patton said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Janus looked Patton up and down. “Of course, what was I thinking?” He rolled his eyes, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Janus strolls down the rest of the stairs and walks over towards the couch. He takes a seat next to Remus.
Remus turns over, laying his head on Patton's shoulder. “Whatcha need snakeskin?”
“Not even creative… but there is this book I’ve been reading. Queer, obviously, and it centers around the trope of fake dating.”
At this, Patton stiffened up. Hopefully it wasn’t visible. But it made Patton’s mind race. Did Janus actually know? Was this his way of letting them know that he knows? “O-oh?”
Janus furrowed his eyebrows before raising one of them. “Anyway, the amazing part about this is that the main characters are exes!”
“Oh?” Patton and Remus both said with slight intrigue in their voices. Weird how that happened.
Apparently, it was funny since Janus laughed. “That’s how I reacted. That’s how I knew I had to pick this up. I’m not done with it yet, but I’m already in love.”
“Tell us more Jannie!” Remus shifted his position to where his head was on Patton’s lap.
“No duh, Remus. Why else do you think I’m here? To watch you two flirt? Hell no. Anyways, so it’s from the point of view of Kian Andrews-” Patton couldn’t even tune into the conversation. It was turning into white noise. All Patton could focus on was Remus’s head in Patton’s lap.
It wasn’t like Remus’s face was buried into his lap. No, it was just resting the back of Remus’s head on Patton’s thighs. A small gesture. Nothing against it in the contract. So why is it bugging him so much? Well, not bugging exactly. More like positive bugging? What would that even be? Is there a word for that???
Either way, he didn’t know how to feel about it. He didn’t hate it, but he didn’t know if he liked it. He was supposed to know feelings, damn it!
“Oh Patton-” Patton was shaken up at this point. He gripped the couch as he let out a quick huff.
Logan raised an eyebrow. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Definitely.” Patton gave the other an uneasy smile. When did he get here? He found himself having to do that more often than not. “What can I do for you?.”
“Oh sure, grab Patton when I’m talking. I don’t mind .” Janus mutters.
Logan rolled his eyes. “It’ll be quick. Besides, you’re just talking about a book and, no offense to you or Patton, but I do not think he would be interested in listening to you spoil it.”
“But he was.” “But I am-”
Patton and Janus looked at each other before smiling.
“Oh no. I don’t need two of you. Remus slowly becoming more like Patton is enough for me” Logan groaned, which Remus laughed at. Patton thought it was strange how Remus wasn’t interrupting the conversation.
“But Logan, you actually wouldn’t mind if there were two of me, now would you?” Janus smirked as Logan’s face softened, seemingly unwillingly.
“You already know the answer to that.”
“ Yes , but I want to hear you say it.”
Patton remembered that Logan was here for a reason. “You needed something from me Logan?”
Logan, caught up in Janus’s words, may have forgotten temporarily. “I did, well, do. I wanted to show you something. Something that I believe you’ll appreciate.”
“For me? Really?” Patton gently lifted Remus’s head off of his lap before getting up. Remus frowned but didn’t say anything.
“Relax Remus. Patton will be back in approximately five minutes, if that.”
Remus huffed. “I didn’t even say anything! You couldn't know what I was thinking. Or could you? Can you read minds? Ohh that would make your trait sooooo much cooler!”
Logan just shook his head. “I have no time to answer any of your nonsense. Come, Patton.”
“Lead the way, Lolo!”
Logan turned and began making his way to the hallway, in which Patton followed him. They passed by Logan’s room before stopping at Patton’s. Patton stared at his room for a moment before Logan sighed and opened the door.
Patton gasped as he stepped inside. The walls were covered in foam. They even curved around his posters and stickers. Patton beams at Logan.
Logan leaned against the doorframe with a smile on his face. “I’m not sure if you know what these are called, but these are acoustic foam. They basically soundproof your room. As long as the door is shut, nobody can hear anything that goes on in this room.”
This gesture was so sweet. He didn’t even question how Logan knew he wanted to soundproof his room.
“Thank you so much Logan!”
“No problem, although it's weird that these walls stopped working. Every wall is supposed to be soundproof here, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. I wanted to add the foam to everyone’s rooms at least so they can be unbothered in their rooms. Would you like to test it?”
Patton nodded aggressively. Logan bit back a chuckle, probably at how eager Patton was. “Open the door when you’re done,” Logan had said before he closed the door to Patton’s room, leaving Patton alone inside. Patton released a breath he had swallowed previously.
“I’m.. not dating Remus.” Patton spoke, looking around to see if Logan had heard. After seeing that Logan hadn't opened the door, Patton kept talking. “Our relationship is a ruse. He doesn’t love me, it’s all part of a plan. A succeeding, yet failing plan. This plan made me lose my best friend.”
Patton’s voice gradually raised itself as he began to pace. “And for what? Respect? I’m losing respect from someone I care about! All because he dislikes Remus. He says I’m being corrupted and therefore I’m not the Patton he cares about. I didn’t change! He did! Like Roman and Remus said, I did nothing wrong, so why am I being blamed for this? What is the reason?!”
Patton let out a frustrated scream and grabbed handfuls of his hair. With his grip tight, he took a deep breath. He didn’t even realize how wobbly his breath was. He hadn’t noticed he had even felt this way. How rude his feelings were. It’s okay since no one can hear him though.. There’s no problem with feeling like this, Patton thought.
“But it’s fine… it’s sooooo fine, because we’re on good terms again. Well neutral, but still. Everything’s okay. We’re okay. I have no reason to be upset! Not. At. All. It’s all fine and dandy! Virgil still doesn’t talk to me except when he has to, but it’s fiiiiiiiiiine since he isn’t insulting me. Right? It better be! My mind is on the line, and I don’t know how much more I can take!”
Was that sweat beading down his face or was it tears? Patton couldn’t tell. He took more breaths before finding himself relatively calm. He released his hair from his hands and put them flat on his sides. At this point, he prayed he didn’t look like he was going insane. He opened the door, Logan was still there. Logan took one look at Patton and furrowed his eyebrows.
“You’re sweating profusely. What did you do, give yourself self-gratification?”
It took Patton a minute to realize what Logan was talking about and flushed. “Of course not! Why would I- especially while you’re still- no! Just no!”
“I was joking. Pulling your leg, as the kids say.” Logan shook his head gently. “Of course you wouldn’t do that. But are you actually okay? You know you can talk to me if something is wrong.”
Patton gave Logan a small smile. Uneasy, but small enough so Logan wouldn’t notice. At least, he hopes Logan wouldn’t notice. “I appreciate that but I’m fine. Honest. But the fact you don’t know what happened means it worked.”
Logan nodded. “It was truly a success. I guess I summoned the right type of acoustic foam.”
“I need to borrow you Logan for a-” Patton tries not to stiffen up at the voice. But it seemed like the voice stiffened himself up.. That sounds weird, but it definitely makes sense. Patton’s eyes shift over to about five feet away from them to see a frozen Virgil. A look of confliction shadowing over his eyes.
Virgil must’ve not realized how stiff he looks as Logan raised an eyebrow. “I thought you had apologized to Patton.. Have I been wrong?”
Patton quickly began sputtering. “No no no no no! He did apologize and we were getting along just fine. He’s just upset that I beat him in DDR by two points.” He tried to give Virgil a look to suggest that he should play along.
“Y-You don’t need to brag.” Good, Virgil got the hint. “It was complete horseradish that you won. It’s like you perfected the game or something!”
Patton stalked towards Virgil and put an arm around him. Virgil stiffened a bit, but attempted to make it unnoticeable by Logan. “I didn’t mean to! You know I only wanted to play a friendly game. I was happy to be your friend again that I may have gotten over excited. But it wasn’t my intention to beat you. Could you please forgive me?”
Virgil didn’t say anything for a second. But Logan’s piercing gaze made him waver. “I.. I guess. If you really didn’t mean to-”
“Oh thank you Virgil!” Patton wrapped his arms around Virgil and squeezed him.
Virgil looked down at what was supposed to be a hug, and let out an embarrassed “Patton…”
“Well.. it seems like you’re getting along. Good.” Logan began walking away. “When you’re done talking, come see me Virgil. You said you wanted to talk to me, yes?”
Virgil nodded and when Logan was out of earshot, he pushed Patton off of him. “.. thanks.. But did you have to hug me?”
“It makes things more realistic, you know, how we used to be.” Patton shrugged. A small part of him was still hopeful.
“Whatever. Just don’t do that again and we’re… solid, I guess-” They’re.. solid? Solid friends? Solid acquaintances? Patton didn’t even have time to register that fully as Virgil walked away.
Once Patton actually grasped everything, he sighed and went into his room, gently closing the door. His back slammed itself against the door as he slid down. With his face placed in his hands, Patton realizes how he’s still affected by Virgil. How much he misses their friendship… how he misses the Virgil he became friends with.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to Virgil’s actual disdain for him. Or well, the reluctance Virgil still has. What Roman and Remus said about Virgil coming around, what Patton thought helped, only helped him repress those feelings more. It wasn’t until Patton felt his throat becoming uncomfortable when he realized he was crying. Again.
Why? They were on speaking terms. Virgil wasn’t being uncomplimentary towards him anymore. So why? Why was he crying? It made no sense. Then it hit him that he was still heartbroken. It’s been what, at least a week and a half, and he’s still a mess. An uncomfortable laugh escaped his lips. In a rash decision, he decided to scream, no matter how much his throat was begging for water or relief.
Anyone who could’ve heard him scream would only register them as that. Screams. But no one could hear them, and these screams represent all of his frustrations. The pain he kept to himself, releasing all of the repressed shit he felt about the plan ever since that fateful night.
All the stuff he refused to even think about and everything he refused to tell Remus, he screamed about that too. Patton felt more tears fall and even more pain from straining himself with releasing this pressure. He doesn’t know how much more he could take. If he already broke down now, who knows how long it would take before he breaks down in front of everyone? In front of Virgil...
His hand reached up to his throat, slightly scratching around his Adam's apple due to the dryness. He took ragged breaths, trying to regulate his heart from all the screams. His voice was raspy… he really needed water. Instead of going to the kitchen, he just summoned a water bottle. Perks of being someone else’s creation, Remus’s voice rang in his head. He twisted the top off and took multiple sips.
As the pain in his throat reduced and his tears dried, Patton realized he felt a little better. “I guess,” Patton whispered to himself, “that sometimes, words of comfort aren’t the answer. That sometimes, an outlet to release all your feelings is.”
Another uncomfortable laugh slipped from his mouth before he took a big drink of water. Gulping it down as if he was parched in the desert. If he drowned his throat in water, maybe it would stop feeling so awful when he spoke, laughed, or did anything requiring his vocals. It didn’t work. Maybe he wasn’t drinking enough?
Patton attempted to summon another water bottle. But he couldn’t. He swears they just bought water. There’s no way Patton just drank the last one. Patton tried summoning it again with no luck. He sighed in a melodramatic way before sinking out of his room.
Patton popped into the kitchen and opened the fridge. No water bottles. Maybe there was an unopened pack in the cabinet. It wouldn’t be cold, but it would help. But as he went to open it..
“Put him down!”
Roman’s voice snapped Patton out of his thoughts. Patton turned his head to look into the living room. Roman looked concerned, and Virgil was lifting Remus into the air with one hand tightened around Remus’s neck.
“Impressive..” Remus choked out. “You could snap my neck like a twig now, but you won't because it's not your style, right?”
Something about Virgil’s demeanor changed. “If you keep talking-”
“Even if it - urgh- were, you still wouldn’t. You know this would break Patton so you’re holding back.. cough .. Am I right, A n x i e t y ?” Remus stretched out the word, likely for dramatic effect.
Virgil didn’t do anything for a moment. “.. Like I care what he thinks.” Then, he dropped Remus. Roman then sat Remus up as Remus was catching his breath.
“What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Roman snarled at Virgil. “I don’t like this either, but did you have to almost choke him out?!”
Virgil didn't say anything. He just picked up.. Something. Patton couldn’t tell what exactly. Virgil’s back was facing him with most of it blocking his view.
“What is so hard to understand?”
“Virgil..” Roman’s voice was cautious as he stood up.
“He’s a fucking piece of shit!”
Patton’s eyes widened as he crouched quickly so as to not be seen. A plate flew over him and shattered once it hit the fridge. Some pieces of plate littered in his hair. Ah, so that was what it was.
“Virgil!” Roman, rightfully so, shrieked.
“Don’t you understand? Remus is ruining Patton! How could you be so calm?!”
Patton slips behind the pillar with a hand over his mouth. Eavesdropping is wrong. But curiosity is getting the better of him. He didn’t stop a few minutes prior, he might as well continue. And they didn’t notice him enter the kitchen, so they wouldn’t notice him behind the pillar.
“You need to tread lightly Virgil.” Roman’s voice was steady. Calm. Yet it was unnerving.
“Roman,” Patton’s throat tightened as Virgil spoke, “I don’t understand how you came to terms with… everything! Are you an idiot?”
“No, I’m reasonable. You’re the idiot for treating Patton like this.”
“The moment he breaks up with him, everything will go back to normal.”
There were sounds of things being hit. Patton peaked from behind the pillar and saw Roman’s face flaring up and a dent in the couch. Roman’s fist was clenched. Remus was nowhere to be seen. “Why can’t you just be happy for Patton? If you’re going to be angry, be angry with Remus! Patton doesn’t deserve this nasty behavior of yours.” It was a miracle Roman’s voice was still calm.
“Remus would be able to take it like it’s nothing. With Patton, I know he can’t handle it. This would’ve had him realize that Remus isn’t good for him!”
“By berating him at every turn?!” A new tone was detected in Roman’s voice. He was offended. But why would he be offended? Angry, sure. But offended doesn’t seem.. correct.
“That is the kind of backlash he would receive, besides, I had stopped a couple days ago.”
“Are you forgetting that Patton lied for you just prior to this conversation?” At this, Virgil’s words seemed caught in his throat, as all that was heard was a slight hitching sound. “You could’ve easily gotten another scolding from Logan if it wasn’t for Patton. And you’re just going to act like he doesn’t care about you?”
Patton peaked from the pillar to see Roman snapping his fingers in front of Virgil. “News flash if you haven’t heard, but everyone else has accepted it! Logan and Janus accepted it with open arms, even Thomas had accepted it!”
“He doesn’t count, he was confused!”
“But he still saw Patton was happy and accepted it, unlike a certain someone over here-”
“Look who’s talking!” Virgil scoffed. “You’re only keeping it on the down low because of Patton when I know you’re just as upset as me.”
“Of course I am! At least I have the decency to keep my comments to myself. Patton deserves to be happy and if Remus makes him happy, then so be it.”
“Fucking simp-”
“I'm not even bothered by that anymore! I’m more focused on the parasite that is currently infecting you to act this way. I bet your ass gets jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth. ”
“Oh how fucking original! And with everything going on with you, you shouldn’t be-”
“God, you just don’t get it, do you?” A forced laugh escaped Roman’s lips. “You’re literally what our fans thought of Janus before his redemption arc started. You’re being unsympathetic! You’re becoming what you despise.”
“But-”
“No, you listen to me.” Patton watched as Roman circled Virgil. He wanted to intervene. But it felt as if some supernatural force was stopping him. As if it was making him wait until the perfect moment. “You hurl insults like it’s required for you to live. You say you’re better than that, but I don’t think you are. I think you’re just being sneaky about it now. You still put it into Patton’s mind that you despise his actions, that you despise him, even if you don’t say anything. You think you’re making a difference, and you’re right. Just not in the way you want it. You’re hurting Patton.”
“I.. I’m not-”
“You are. I know you don’t notice, but he’s in pain. He thinks of you as his best friend, his family.. And you threw it all away, and for what? In hopes he’d break up with my brother? You’re only making him suffer because of the choice you’re forcing him to make! He either has to be with his boyfriend or to have you back in his life. It’s a tough decision and you’re trying to make him choose between the two people who make him the happiest. All because he believes that you hate him. Even if he makes a choice, he won’t be truly happy. You’re stripping him of his happiness, waiting for him to become a husk of a being. He’s hurting and it’s all your fault.”
Virgil’s eyes had a conflicted look to them as he attempted to say something. Of course he was conflicted. When the truth was laid out in front of you, how could you not be? All Roman did was repeat the same point over and over, just rephrasing it each time, yet it was super effective. By the way Roman emphasizes this, it makes Patton think. Did Virgil truly not know? Patton was under the impression that Virgil knew he was hurting Patton and just didn’t care.
Even though Virgil hurt him, Patton still wishes Virgil wasn’t being bombarded with this. Being scolded to apologize or have hurtful things spouted at him. Patton could never wish that upon another no matter how much they hurt him.
“ I.. I just don’t understand how you could possibly defend this? Defend this obviously awful relationship?”
Roman’s voice suddenly became very sharp. “Because unlike you, I actually care about Patton!”
Slap.
The sound echoed, going on for miles. Patton had to intervene now. When Patton ran in, Roman’s hand was holding his cheek with a bewildered look on his face, while Virgil looked aggravated.
“Don’t you dare say I don’t care about him!” Virgil snarled. “Patton means the absolute world to me.”
Patton’s words seemed caught up in his throat for a second. “...Are you okay Roman?”
Patton barely said it. It was very soft, slightly scratchy, and it could have been easily missed. But both of them whipped their heads towards Patton, as they both just realized he was there. Both of their faces were flushed.
“Ah, I.. I’m fine. Entirely.” Roman gave Patton an uneasy smile.
Patton looked at Virgil, who was avoiding eye contact. “Virgil..”
“It was just a friendly dispute that got out of hand. That’s all-”
“Virgil.” Patton took a step towards Virgil. “Let’s talk. Roman, please put some ice on your cheek. It must have hurt badly.”
Roman didn’t argue and nodded before he left. Virgil still avoided Patton’s eyes. Patton stretched his hand out and grabbed the other’s hand. Virgil flinched.
“I’m not letting go until you talk to me.” Patton squeezed it. Virgil stayed silent and tried pulling away. “...I know what you were talking about with Roman.”
Virgil froze up. For the first time in that conversation, he looked at Patton. “How did you.. Why were you-”
“I didn’t hear everything, but I heard enough. You care about me, I apparently mean the world to you, but why act this way towards me?”
“... if you heard enough, then you should understand why.” Virgil muttered.
Patton replayed the conversation in his head. He scanned every word to find the meaning. To understand why. All it took was one moment of analyzing Roman’s words for it to dawn on Patton.
“You were trying to do this for my own good. You believe this will change my mind about being with Remus.” Virgil only nodded. “But you’re wrong. You fail to see how happy I am with Remus, and how your attempt to break us apart only made us stronger.”
“What do you mean, it made your relationship stronger?”
Patton had no idea where he was heading with this either. But bullshitting seemed to work for him so far. “He soothed me whenever I was upset over you. He became my new safe place. He took over your job, Virgil.”
Virgil’s eyes seem to tremble.
“That sounds awful, let me rephrase myself.. It will be strange. We may break up soon, or we may stay together. All we want is a chance for us to explore this relationship. Give Remus a chance with me. For your best friend. Please?” Patton gave Virgil a small smile.
Virgil stayed silent. The silence always killed Patton.
“Why… me..?”
Patton certainly wasn’t expecting that response. Virgil was gripping Patton’s hand. Hard.
“Huh?”
“I had reverted into a hateful person ever since you came out to us about your relationship. You told us everything in confidence. But I let the man you love affect me in such a negative way. I cursed your name, and yet, you still smile at me like I’ve done nothing wrong. Despite everything I’ve done to you. You treat me like I haven’t treated you like shit for what, almost a month now? Why? Why are you so god damn nice to me?”
It took Patton a few moments to respond. Patton squeezed Virgil’s hand. “If I were any other person, I would probably ask something petty of you. Something like “do my laundry for a month, and only then I’ll think of forgiving you”. However, you already know I would never ask for anything like that. You already know that all I ask is for a simple apology, and all will be forgiven. I do this because I love you and I know you will be a better person afterwards. You’re still my kiddo no matter what.”
A few sniffles. Virgil was attempting to hide that he was tearing up, but he was failing miserably. Patton used his free hand to wipe Virgil’s eyes.
“I’m sorry.. I’m very very sorry… god, what was I thinking? You’re such a saint.”
“Nah..” Patton squeezed Virgil’s hand, “I just have experience working out issues with an amazing family.”
Virgil snorted and covered his mouth. “No amount of apologies will ever make up how I treated you.”
“You’ll always be forgiven in my heart, no need to fret.”
“Seriously, I’ve been a huge dick to you.” Virgil shakes his head.
“But it’s okay, because I forgave you.”
“It’s really not.”
Patton lets go of Virgil’s hand and hugs him. “It really is.”
Virgil hesitated before hugging him back. “I do not deserve your kindness.. Maybe he isn’t changing you.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying. I’m still the same Patton you know and love. I’m just in love with a rat man.” Patton pulled away from the hug, surprisingly, and smiled at Virgil.
“It’s still weird that this is a thing. But just know I will hurt him if he hurts you.”
Patton laughed a bit. “I know. I know that very well.”
Virgil’s eyes moved up and he ruffled Patton’s hair. “There’s white stuff in your hair.”
“That’s.. from the plate you threw earlier.”
Virgil’s face burned in embarrassment as he got the rest out. “I didn’t know you were here for that.”
“You shouldn’t throw plates when you’re angry.” Patton looked at the plate pieces on the floor, frowning a little. “Throw pillows. Those are soft and couldn’t hurt anyone.”
“Oh god, I could’ve hurt you!”
“More than you already have?” It was out before Patton could stop himself. Patton looked back at him as a mixture of realization and remorse washes over Virgil. “No, no, don’t look like that. I forgive you.”
Virgil looked away. “You really shouldn’t. No matter how many times Roman tried to tell me, I really didn’t see how badly it hurt you. You’ve never said anything. I stupidly thought you could take it.”
“Well you-” Patton bit his tongue. If Virgil actually knew how much it hurt Patton, he wouldn’t hear the end of apologies from him. “Nevermind. Forget that. What matters now is that you apologized genuinely. You feel bad for your actions.”
Virgil buried his face in Patton’s shoulder. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
“Hey, you’re not an idiot.” Patton played with Virgil’s hair. “Your emotions took over. Mine do that as well.”
“Yeah right.” Virgil scoffed. “You’re Patton. Emotions are your specialty. You can control them.”
Patton didn’t say anything for a minute. “Not all the time. I’m just really good at repressing, and sometimes, I get to a point where I can’t repress anymore. It happens to the best of us.”
Now Virgil was the one who stayed silent. Patton kept playing with his hair. It felt so weird seeing this from him. Remorse. Regret. So out of character for him. He’s only seen this once before. Patton was upset about something, and in his peripherals, he saw regret flash in Virgil’s eyes before Virgil said something to cheer Patton up. But even then, it’s less than what’s unfolding now. Even when filming, he didn’t really show this much emotion.
Virgil tilted his head up to look at Patton. His eyes glazed with a flurry of emotions.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“You apologized and you meant it. That’s all it takes to make me happy.” Patton knew he would still be upset about this at times, but just knowing that Virgil felt awful for his actions makes the weight in his heart feel less heavy. By a ton, actually. “How about we have a movie night tonight, just the two of us?”
Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed. “I mean I’m down, but Remus wouldn’t mind? He seems sort of… what’s the word, clingy?”
“He’s not clingy.” Patton huffed at the suggestion. “If anything, I’m the clingy one.”
Virgil gave him an ‘are you stupid’ look. “Please, that man is attached to you whenever you’re in the same room together.”
“Is he really though?” Patton asked, disregarding the fact that Remus didn’t leave his side earlier today until Patton left.
“.. yes! God, is Remus making you stupider too?” Virgil’s eyes widened. “Fuck- shit no- dang, I’m sorry Patton, I-”
“Don’t apologize. We’re working through this, it’s okay for things to be a little rough for now.” They weren’t perfect. Not everything was back to normal. But it didn’t have to be. Unlike for the series, it will take actual time to put back the pieces of what their friendship used to be. Luckily, they have that time.
It did feel weird, for everything they had to fall apart so quickly because of a fake relationship. It was weird for everything to become okay so quickly after a conversation. Well, several conversations, but really two conversations between the two of them. But even so, Patton was okay with it. He had his best friend again, even if their friendship isn’t fixed yet. He didn’t need to choose.
Patton pulled Virgil into another hug. And this time, Virgil hugged back.