Chapter Text
As evening came around and dinner began to wind down, Wei WuXian offered to entertain the group by playing on his dízi, ChenQing. Soon he was joined by Lan WangJi, who played on his gǔqín, WangJi, in a duet.
The tones of the two instruments intertwined in an intimate embrace and the guests cheered as their melody swelled and reached its crescendo.
“You should play more like this,” Jin Ling told Wei WuXian afterwards. “Why do you normally make such horrendous music, when you can clearly play?”
“Obviously because I’m a lunatic,” Wei WeiXian stated proudly, while both Lan WangJi and Lan SiZhui let out fondly exasperated sighs.
“Wei Ying…”
“Everyone already knows that Wei-qiánbèi is not Mo XuanYu…”
“Āiyā, a-Yuan,” Wei WuXian said with a pout, “what did I tell you about calling me qiánbèi?”
Lan SiZhui flushed brightly.
“… Gāndiē,” he corrected hesitantly, earning him an awkward pat on his head from Lan WangJi, who then continued to stare at his adopted son expectantly.
“… Yìfù.”
Another pat of approval landed awkwardly on the boy’s head.
“Why is this family so awkward…?” Lan JingYi whispered not-so-quietly, only to be kicked under the table by Jin Ling.
“You're only making this more awkward,” the younger boy whispered back, also not-very-quietly.
The sound of knuckles rapping on the table quieted the pair drawing their attention towards Jiang Cheng. “Jin Ling is right,” said the man.
“Oh, err… sorr—”
“Not about that, kid,” Jiang Cheng interjected, cutting off Lan JingYi’s apology.
“Oh.”
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes for a moment. Keeping his attention on his— his dìdi (fuck you, Wei WuXian! you died and fucked off for thirteen years, so own it and admit that you're younger than me now!), he said, “If we’re going to let the past be the past, Wei WuXian, then you should listen to your own advice and let that ‘horrendous music’ stay in the past. Besides, you’re married to a Lan, it’s time to act your part as Lan WangJi’s fūren by playing their clan’s songs.”
“Err…” said Wei WuXian, lightly scratching his cheek in a nervous tick, “But I'm not actually part of the Lan clan… I mean, Lan Zhan and I eloped, so…”
Jiang Cheng’s eyebrows twitched. “I know you don't care about all the ceremonial etiquettes and proprieties, but didn't you at least register your name into his clan after you fucked off with him for months on end?”
“I told you, jiùjiu,” said Jin Ling “That’s why at least you need to marry properly, since no one else in my family seems capable of that.”
Taking a deep breath, Jiang Cheng spoke very calmly, while twirling his ZiDian, which was definitely not sparking at all, around his finger. “I’m going to kill you— no, I’m going to kill HanGuang-Jun first for daring to insult your honor and then I’m going to ki—”
“Let’s organize a double wedding!” Lan XiChen exclaimed with sparkling eyes and an excited smile.
“Lan-dàgē is wise beyond measure!!!” Wei WuXian cried out in relief, falling onto his knees to cling (quite literally) to the elder Lan’s thighs.
And no matter how cruel Jiang Cheng told himself he was, he did not have it in his ice cold heart to crush his Lan Huan’s wedding dreams, so it was decided that night that they would leave Lotus Pier for the Cloud Recesses the next day to ask Grandmaster Lan for permission to host a double wedding.
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“Our foolish boy needs help.”
“Didn’t we already help him? I appeared in his dream and you sold that Lan-boy your mother’s ginger.”
“Our boy thinks he has a heart of ice. Doesn't he know that ice melts? That oblivious attitude of his definitely didn’t come from my side of the family, FengMian.”
“Sānniáng, I’m sure our son and that Lan-boy can handle themselves from here on out.”
“That Lan-boy got conned into buying ginger for four gold pieces.”
“…”
“Are all men so hopeless? Ugh, why even am I asking you this when our son inherited his cluelessness from you!”
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“Let’s have another song!” exclaimed Lan JingYi.
“I think ZeWu-Jun should play a song to express his dedication for my jiùjiu,” Jin Ling said, his eyes narrowed threateningly on Lan Huan.
“Oh, oh, they could play a duet together like Wei-qiánbèi and HanGuang-Jun!” Lan JingYi spoke again, leaning forward excitedly.
“… I don’t think jiùjiu plays any instrument.”
Wei WuXian laughed at that. “Hahahahahah! ChengCheng, didn't you say before that a Lan-fūren ought to be able to play their clan's songs? You should ask Lan-dàgē to teach you how to play one quickly, if you still plan to marry him!”
Lan Huan huffed, quickly wrapping his arms around Jiang Cheng’s waist. “I don’t mind whether Cheng-dìdi can play an instrument or not and I'm sure shūfù won’t mind either.”
“Hmph. Who says I can’t play?”
A silence fell as the group turned as one to look at the owner of that voice. Raising an eyebrow in challenge, Jiang Cheng calmly raised his cup towards his lips and sipped from the wine.
“Āiyā,” said Wei WuXian, “don’t play tough now, Jiang Cheng! I’ve never seen you play anything in your youth before and, as Jin Ling just said, neither did he in any of those thirteen years I was away.”
Another awkward silence fell over the group when Wei WuXian realized what he’d just said. No one wanted to bring up the reason why Wei WuXian had been ‘away’.
Scraping his throat to cover up his blunder, Wei WuXian then expertly ignored the silence and said, “Anyway, there’s no way you could’ve hidden any secret music lessons from Jin Ling and I for all those years.”
“I don't need to hide anything,” said Jiang Cheng.
“Which instrument does Cheng-dìdi play then?” his betrothed asked curiously and Jiang Cheng leaned back into Lan Huan’s embrace so he could look the other in his eyes as he answered him.
“The èrhú.”
Lan Huan’s eyes sparkled in delight and for a moment the world seemed to fall away for Jiang Cheng as he was captivated by his fiancé’s gaze.
“Lying is forbidden.”
Aaaannnnd… the world returned with vengeance.
“Does HanGuang-Jun have any proof that I'm lying?”
“Jiang WanYin’s hands lack the callouses of an èrhú player.”
What a stupid answer.
Rolling his eyes, Jiang Cheng said, “Of course I lack callouses, they tend to disappear when one stops practicing.”
“So, then, it's been a long time since Cheng-dìdi played the èrhú? asked Lan Huan curiously.
“Āiyā, don’t encourage him now, Lan-dàgē!”
Wei WuXian was the stupidest, dumbest, and biggest idiot in the whole world.
“If my Cheng-dìdi says he plays the èrhú then I’ll believe him.”
His betrothed was the smartest, sweetest and kindest person in the whole world.
“When did èrbófù stop playing the èrhú?” Lan SiZhui asked to lead the conversation away from the developing tensions in the room.
Only to step into another landmine.
“When my audience left…”
“When a-niáng left…? Jin Ling asked hesitantly, but Jiang Cheng shook his head.
“No. Your mother is the most wonderful person I've ever known, but she had one great, great flaw. She had a horrible taste in music.”
“Ah… that's right,” said Wei WuXian, a nostalgic smile playing at the corners of his lips, “shījiě loved to hear Granny Wu’s crow song…”
“Then èrbófù's audience was…?”
“My sister didn’t understand music, my father was never interested in what I did, and my mother was disappointed in my choice of instrument. The only ones who took the time to enjoy listening to the songs I played were FeiFei, MoLi and XiaoAi.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Oh,” said Wei WuXian.
Lan SiZhui did not seem to have much luck in conversations today.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“A-Cheng… who are FeiFei, MoLi and XiaoAi...?” asked Lan Huan.
“Some dear old friends of mine,” Jiang Cheng replied.
Lan SiZhui needed to find a way to deescalate this situation as soon as possible.
“…”
“…”
“Lady friends…?” Lan JingYi asked.
Frowning, Jiang Cheng placed his chin between thumb and forefinger and cocked his head in thought. “Well, I suppose you could put it like that.”
Lan SiZhui needed to shut his èrbófù up before he said something even more stupid!
“…”
“Xiōngzhǎng, I object to this double wedding.”
Please, just once don’t be wherever the chaos is, yìfù!
“It’s fine if HanGuang-Jun objects. Jiùjiu and ZeWu-Jun can just proceed with a single wedding and then Xiao XianZi will attend too.”
“L-l-let’s not escalate things over something as silly as dogs!” Lan SiZhui tried.
And that was the next landmine Lan SiZhui landed himself into.
“Lan SiZhui… have care for what you say in this household,” Jiang Cheng said, ZiDian sparking around his finger. “My FeiFei, MoLi and XiaoAi were not silly, they were all three of them well-trained and fine ladies.”
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“Lan-dàgē.”
“Yes, WuXian?”
“I expect an èrhú to be among the wedding gifts.”
“Of course, WuXian. A-Cheng won’t ever be without an audience again. When we marry, I will listen to him play every night.”
“Good. I would hate to have to hurt my future brother-in-law.”
“Of course. The same goes to you, WuXian. I’m sure you understand.”