Chapter Text
“...Kitty will you marry me?...” John held Karkat’s hand as they walked through a field of wildflowers. Bright spots of gold and red around them as the flowers swayed in the wind.
Karkat eyed him “For fuck’s sake John I thought you told me you weren’t senile anymore. We already are married.”
John flicked his nose and Karkat batted his hand away, as the scenery started to shiver and shift, changing into a beach, the water glimmering and lapping against their feet.
“I know that dummy. I still want to marry you.”
“so….” The sunny sky quickly turned to sunset and then starlight and then sunrise as Karkat mulled over John’s proposition. “You want to double marry me? Is that even a thing?”
John shrugged and started to walk out into the water, rocks appearing under his feet obligingly to support him as he walked “I’ve been thinking about it recently…”
Karkat followed him over the rocks, hopping across the grey stones “Yeah?...”
An island appeared before them and John stepped onto the shore, he gently took Karkat’s hand and helped him off the rock and onto the beach “The ‘death do us part’ bit...What if now that we’re both dead we’re not married anymore?”
Karkat rolled his eyes “...I really don’t think this matters John…”
John looked back at Karkat as they walked further into the island “It's important to me! One marriage per life! One in the alive life and one in the afterlife! It just makes sense…”
Karkat rolled his eyes as they walked into the shade between the trees of the island “It's really not important...But whatever makes you happy…”
John grinned at him. They walked to the other side of the island and John stooped to one knee. The sky burst into rapid sunset as a ring materialized out of thin air between John’s fingers.
“Karkat Vantas.” John presented the ring “Will you double marry me? Will you ghost join me in ghost matrimony?”
Karkat tried his best not to laugh “Stop saying ‘ghost’ every five seconds and maybe I’ll consider it.”
John looked up and him and wiggled his eyebrows “You’re just mad because I was right about ghosts being a thing.”
“You’re a dumbass.”
“I’m YOUR dumbass!”
Karkat smiled “...ok sure…”
John grinned and slipped the ring onto Karkat’s finger. “there!” He smiled “Now you’re my husband/ghost fiance!”
“Oh my god shut up.”
John put his hands to his hips and stood up “This calls for a celebration! I still haven’t met your biological parents, do you think they will be able to make it to our second wedding?”
Karkat smiled “This is dumb. YOU’RE dumb.”
John leaned over and kissed him on the nose. “I’m YOUR dumb.”
Karkat smiled and angled his face upwards to kiss John on the lips. “Alright ghost fiance...what do you have in mind?”
Weon looked doubtfully at the tiny tuxedo he wore, John gently straightened the little bowtie, his tongue peeking out past his lips in concentration.
Weon looked at Karkat “...Mom do I HAVE to wear the tux-edo?”
Karkat smiled down at him “Sorry kid. You have to wear nice things at weddings. Do you remember your job?”
Weon looked down at the little pillow with two little gold rings on it “I am the ring bear. I am a bear who comes and gives you rings when you need me to…”
Karkat nods “....close enough…”
John stands up and runs a hand through Weon’s hair “You’re so cute! We can’t wait for you to meet everyone!”
Weon perks up “Who is going to be there??”
Karkat smiles “You have a whole heck of a lot of grandparents to meet kid.”
John smiles “There's my nana! My grandpa! And my dad! And my mom who I didn’t meet until I got here...And then we have Karkat’s grandmother, Karkat’s biological parents, his adoptive dad…”
Weon’s eyes were wide “...That a lot of grandparents…”
He turned away, suddenly shy “....I never had any grandparents before….do you...think they like me?...”
Karkat stooped down to hug weon and give him a kiss on the hair “They’ll fucking love you kid….”
John put his hands to his hips “Language young man!”
Karkat scowled back at John and Weon laughed.
“Best friend!” Gamzee picked up Karkat in a bone-crushing hug “I mother-fucking knew you could do it! Up and look at you! Motherfucking passed on and shit! Miraculous shit man! Miraculous!”
Karkat hugged him back and smiled into his shoulder “...Thank you Gamzee….for everything…”
Gamzee smiled and pet his hair “ain’t no thing little bro...You up and did the hard shit all up and by yourself…”
Karkat pulled back from the hug to look up and Gamzee “...Can I ask another favor?...”
Gamzee grinned “Up and fucking name it little best friend!”
“John and I are getting married a second time….Will you be my best man again? Just like the first time?”
Tears welled up in Gamzee’s eyes “For real brother?”
Karkat nodded “For fucking real.”
Gamzee smiled and scrubbed at his eyes “...Well shit…”
Karkat smiled shakily up at him “Bring your mom Gam...I want to meet her…”
They found the little sunlit grove of trees where Kankri senior made his home in the afterlife. He hugged Karkat to his chest and bawled when he heard of the idea and then hugged John and bawled some more.
Meulin combed back Karkat’s hair and kissed him on the forehead. Gently swiping his cheek with a thumb. She wished him luck before she pulled John to the side and promised him the worst pain the afterlife had to offer if he wasn’t good to her baby.
John solemnly promised to be the best damn ghost husband the afterlife world has ever seen and Meulin kissed him gently on the cheek.
Slick smiled when he got his invitation, his eyes watery. Deuce elbowed him in the ribs with a grin. Karkat smiled at him but very STERNLY warned him not to start any shit with the rest of the family and Slick agreed with a grin and a puff of his cigarette.
They couldn’t get to Kankri...he was still stuck between realms...
Ghosts came from all over to a tiny little island materialized from nothing. The sunset reflected in a never-ending silvery sea. An assassinated mechanic and union leader, his formerly insane wife, Karkat’s tall and elegant grandmother, John’s father and mother, John’s grandmother and grandfather, a hundred little barefooted asian children all hopped across the rocks and to the island.
The trees wove themselves into an arch for the ceremony, hundreds of blossoms blooming across their branches.
Chairs materialized out of nowhere and aligned themselves into two halves across the island, one side for each groom.
Karkat scanned the sea of faces, laughing and talking with each other. His eyebrows furrowed when he didn’t see Slick…
Kankri senior put his hand on Karkat’s shoulder “It's ok!” He smiled at Karkat and patted his back “Jack just had something to take care of…”
Meulin rolled her eyes “Well he’s going to be late.”
Kankri patted her arm “Patience...we do have an eternity after all…”
Weon made sure to meet all the grandparents that he could. Nana Egbert and Dolorosa (Karkat’s grandmother) cooed over him and pet his hair. Weon giggled and kicked his little feet as they showered him with attention.
Meulin and John’s father talked for a good long time, Kankri senior mostly watched as he held his wife’s hand.
Meulin pulled Karkat over to a pair of green-eyed girls that seemed familiar. She took her and Karkat’s hands and laced them together with the first girl. “Karkat…” She whispered “I eventually got out of the asylum...I couldn’t find you...but I had more children...These are your sisters...Meulin and Nepeta….”
Nepeta smiled at him. “...It's clawfully good to meet you….”
Karkat smiled shyly at her “...it's good to meet you too…”
Gamzee came next, a very tall and buxom woman with him. She had long shaggy platinum blonde hair that fell around her shoulders in tangled locks. Tattoos wound around her arms and her eyes were the same color as Gamzee’s.
Gamzee smiled and motioned to the woman “Best friend, Its my mother-fucking pleasure to introduce this miracle to you, this is my mom…”
Karkat wheezed as the woman picked him up in a bone-crushing hug.
She swayed Karkat from side to side as she hugged him “...Thank you…” She whispered “For being there for my baby when yall was alive.” She let him back down gently and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re a brother to him...a brother….And all that shit about being for his kids when he passed? My motherfucking grandbabies? Bless you...Motherfucking bless you….”
Over the silvery water two more figures took shape over the horizon. Karkat squinted over the water as they got closer….He could just barely make out the shape of his father’s hat on one of the figures and a….spot of red?....
It couldn’t be….
Oh my god….
Slick walked towards the wedding party, cigarette in hand….Kankri trailing right behind him….
Karkat rushed over to Kankri, tears in his eyes. He hugged Kankri and both brothers burst out into a fit of sobs.
Karkat wiped a thumb across his brother’s cheek and sniffled. Kankri laughed through his tears.
“But…” Karkat looked over him “How? You were stuck!...”
Kankri smiled as tears rolled down his cheeks, he looked over at Slick who was standing a respectful distance to the side. “....It took a lot...but...but we did it….”
Karkat looked over at Slick. “...Thank you…”
Slick smiled crookedly “...Yeah well...Kankri did all the hard shit...don’t thank me….”
Karkat wrapped his arms around Slick’s middle in a tight hug “Just shut up and accept my thanks old man…”
Slick was dumbstruck for a moment before he smiled and put his arms around Karkat’s shoulders “...Sure kid…”
Slick went to take his place in the wedding party, Mrs.Paint by his side.
Dolorosa took her place officiating at the altar, underneath the arch of the twined trees. John and Karkat took either side of her and clasped hands. Gamzee stood off to the side by Karkat and was trying his best not to cry. Kankri senior and Meulin and slick sat in the front row, Kankri senior sat between Meulin and slick and held Weon on his lap. Kankri Junior sat by Meulin as they held hands.
Dolorosa stood proud and elegant between them. “We stand here today to witness the reunification of Karkat Vantas and John Egbert. As marriage is ‘until death do us part’ they have decided to once again declare their devotion to each other.”
John squeezed Karkat’s hand and Karkat smiled back at him.
Dolorosa continued “Death is the ultimate reuniter. In death we only mourn the absence of a loved one. Here we find each other again...True union of souls withstand tragedy...withstand even death...And now that you have been reunited, and have decided to once again affirm your commitment and devotion to one another….This will be a truly deathless marriage...A marriage that may truly last for an eternity...Are you prepared?”
John and Karkat looked over at each other and nodded. John lifted Karkat’s hand where it was joined with his to kiss his knuckles.
Dolorosa smiled at the pair of them. “Do you have the rings?”
John motioned to Weon and he wriggled out of Kankri Senior’s lap, pillow with rings in hand. “Rawr rawr! I’m the ring bear!”
The wedding party giggled as John retrieved the rings.
“John Egbert, do you take this man in holy matrimony, for all of the afterlife and eternity?”
John smiled and slid the ring onto Karkat’s finger. “...I do…”
“And do you, Karkat Vantas, take this man in holy matrimony, for all of the afterlife and eternity?”
Karkat smiled back at John “...Yeah...I do…” He slid the matching ring on John’s finger.
“Then under my authority as a justice of the peace, even though I’m not quite sure if my authority can be legally extended to the afterlife…”
Kankri senior put his head in his hands “...mom…”
Dolorosa smiled “I now pronounce you husband and husband! Again!”
They kissed and the entire wedding party stood up to clap and cheer. Gamzee and Kankri senior were absolutely bawling at this point. Weon and the little kids from the orphanage jumped excitedly up and down. Meulin laughed and clapped, she kissed her husband’s cheek and Kankri junior’s forehead. Slick looked insufferably smug, but also looked at Karkat like he was the best thing in the afterlife.
Blossoms rained down from the trees as golden light shone through the canopy between the leaves.
Karkat smiled at the sea of faces before them. Everyone they had ever lost.
He squeezed John’s hand and once again they started a new life together.
Casey walked through her parent’s home. She cleaned up the broken glass in the den and looked at the bed in her parent’s bedroom. Both of them had died in this same fucking bed. How many people have to die on something in order for it to be cursed?
She better not donate it then.
It would be better to burn it.
She should burn this whole fucking place down.
If only he had talked to her. The last voicemail she ever sent him was so ANGRY. She didn’t know...she didn’t know it would be the last time she would ever talk to him…
She’s startled out of her revelry by Jane lightly touching her shoulder “...Darling...Are you alright?...”
Casey wiped her nose, her eyes watery and red “..Yeah I’m fine it's just….”
Alone alone alone alone alone alone
“it's just that…”
Alone alone alone alone alone they left me i’m all alone now what will I do without them
“It’s just…”
Jane wrapped her arm around her shoulders as Casey burst out into a new fit of sobs. “I know…” Jane whispered “It feels like being abandoned…”
Jane swiped a thumb under her niece's eyes “...But no matter how alone you think you are...You’re not ok?”
Jane hugged her to her chest as she continued to sob “You will always have a family with me and Calliope and...Caliborn, even if he is an awful person...The point is that you have me and Calliope! And Dave and Terezi and Rose and Kanaya! You’re not alone...We’re all here for you…”
Casey sniffled and smiled weakly “...thank you aunty…”
It felt like snooping. Going through their drawers, all their personal files...But these sort of things need to be sorted out when someone dies. God there's so much paperwork that needs to be filed and managed and sorted through, insurance and funeral costs and foundations and wills and-
Casey came across a book in one of Karkat’s files. A heavy file. The pages were torn and crumpled slightly and at times the words were blurred as if someone cried over them. It was a manuscript of some kind. She began to read...
And so it was the day that Karkat Vantas was set to die.
An old man trudged through an impressive but empty estate with all of the steadfast will and grace of a lead turtle.
Karkat Vantas had always been a short man, but age and grief have the indescribable ability to make one even shorter. Thick eyebrows furrow at their surroundings, when he and John had this place built why the fuck did they make all of the hallways so fucking long?
Casey spent the whole afternoon with that manuscript and decided that she would make it into a movie if it was the last thing she did.
Jane Crocker was very stressed. It’s a horrible thing to lose a brother and a best friend within the span of a month. She hated losing people, she had already lost too many damn people.
She scrubbed across the tile in her bathroom in a nervous frenzy. Cleaning helps, you can clean things easily, make them pure and good again, something you can physically do to make the world seem a little more right again.
Horrible things happen every day and there’s absolutely nothing she or anyone else can do about it. She hates not feeling in control. Death and horror and pain and LOSS are hard. Cleaning is easy.
Soon her house is sparkling clean and she’s left trying to find or create a mess.
She looks up and ah ha! The ceiling fan is dirty!
She retrieves a rag and a stepstool from the kitchen. She climbs up onto the stool and wipes the blades of the fan.
Loss and pain and horror.
She cleaned before her children came, when her husband was murdered, and she cleans now. She scrubs harder. She lifts herself higher onto the stool to try and reach a spot of grime. Her house slippers are wet from rinsing the floor, the stool slips against the wet tile and-
Jane Crocker falls.
She hits her head on the tile of the bathroom and-
She HEARS the crunch and-
Jane sits up and rubs her head. That was...Surprising...she fell...Shouldn’t she hurt? As a matter of fact...nothing hurts...She flexes her fingers and the joint pain...the arthritis...is...Completely gone…
She stands up and-
“Sup Chica…”
She remembers the day in the morgue..the grey skin...the tangled hair...the bullet holes...But he gently puts a hand on her shoulder and his skin turns tanned and flushed again, his hair smoothing out into curls...he smiles at her.
“You…” Jane sputters and her eyes fill up with tears “...You’re DEAD…”
Gamzee looks softly at her, brushing a hand across the side of her face “....So are you baby…”
Jane looks down.
She lays sprawled across the tiles,her slippers askew, her blue eyes wide open but lifeless, red pooling across the tiles and around her body.
In Jane’s shocked and confused mind, all she can think of is how much of a mess she’s making.
Gamzee takes her hand in his, she watches as he lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles “I told you chica...whenever you was up and ready for it...I would be waiting for you…”
“And we have a long way to go baby....”