Chapter Text
He looked gorgeous. Of course, he always looked good. There wasn’t a moment where he didn’t look like he fell from the heavens. It’s an envious skill, to be able to roll out of bed and still draw eyes in the best way. But it was different tonight and Vanitas couldn’t tell why.
He wasn’t wearing anything inherently different. He didn’t have his hat but he’d recently been leaving it behind more so it wasn’t strange. Maybe it was the atmosphere. The way the shop lights bounced off his skin. Or how his eyes seemed to become kaleidoscopes of all shades of purple as he stared off into the moon. He stood out among the pedestrians like a pearl among rocks.
But it was most likely how serene he looked leaning against a building, how determined he seemed just being there. Vanitas wore a mask of togetherness but Noé’s look was different. He looked sure. It made Vanitas nervous. That look told him whatever Noé decided would be final.
Vanitas nearly turned around. He didn’t want to be the only nervous one but it was already too late. Noé had spotted him. His gaze was heavy with anticipation.
The second Noé laid eyes upon Vanitas he smiled. Bright and sincere. Vanitas turned away, sure if he stared too hard he’d be blinded. Noé walked towards him, toning down his blinding smile to a content grin.
“Vanitas.” Vanitas’s name sounded so endearing like Noé hadn’t seen him in years instead of days. “ I’m glad you're here.” He attempted to reach out to Vanitas but Noé has always been one to know when to stop and knew to retreat when Vanitas flinched. He stepped back, his smile not wavering.
“Did you think I wouldn’t be?”
“I didn’t think you’d be willing to come the first night. That's why I said I would be here every night.” Noé admitted.
This was one of the moments where Vanitas realized that Noé knew him too well. He didn’t want to come. He wasn’t ready. He hoped to leave undetected, he just failed. He had known Vanitas wouldn’t be brave enough to come the first night so he was willing to wait. Noé’s patience with Vanitas just made him feel worse.
“Walk with me, Vanitas.” Noé gestured for him to get closer and reluctantly he did. Shop lights passed in blurs as neither of them spoke. Idle talk from others filled the air around them. Vanitas thought he was confident in what he was going to say but now he was here and completely tongue tied.
Finally, Noé broke the silence with a simple question. “Do you remember the night we met?”
Vanitas faked a chuckle “that’s a bit of a cliche line, don’t you think?”
Noé smirked “Just a little but humor me. Do you?”
Vanitas does. It’s a memory ingrained in his mind. It was the day he met his favorite person. The moment that he found Noé. Vanitas couldn’t forget it if he wanted and he never wanted to.
“No.” He wasn’t going to tell Noé that. He was already humoring him. If Noé knew he was lying he didn’t show it. “The first day we met you crashed through the side of an aircraft, pulled me with you, and got us both in jail.” Noé said all too fondly.
“That’s not where I thought you were going with that line.” Vanitas said but Noé quickly silenced him.
“I’m not done.” He said an amused ring in his tone. “It was also the day you saved Lady Amelia and told me to lend you my strength… then you landed us in jail.”
“Yeah, I got it.”Vanitas muttered, almost embarrassed. Noé made it sound like it was his intention to get them caught. Noé stopped walking before he continued.
“Vanitas, That was the day I realized you would be all of my ups and downs. The problem and solution. The life and death of me. I knew that from the start and I still wanted you. ” Noé finished. Vanitas realized what he was getting at. Noé faced Vanitas only inches away. Noé’s warm breath ghosted his face “So Vanitas my choice is still you. It always had been. ”
Vanitas was truly stunned. Why? He had nothing to offer. He was broken goods. So why? He was prepared for rejection. Rejection made sense. But to be accepted was…confusing. And Vanitas didn’t like being confused. “You're an idiot!” Vanitas snapped. “Why would you- just…you can’t possibly be serious.” Vanitas wanted to sound composed but he couldn’t.
Noé frowned. “Vanitas. You said it was up to me. To choose what made me happy. You make me happy and I know I make you happy too.”
Vanitas opened his mouth to retort Noé’s words but Noé was right. Noé was right. He had handed the decision over to Noé in that letter. He still refused to look Noé in The eye but the Vampire kept talking. “Vani, there's nothing you could steal from me because there's no part of me I don’t want you to have.”
Noé gently took Vanitas’s hands and he didn't flinch. Noé’s hands are warm and ungloved. His gentle pressure and warm hands were clear even though Vanitas’s own gloves. It was comfortable. “All the things you love about me are yours. And the things you hate. All I ask in return is you.”
Vanitas felt trapped. It was like everything around them was gone and there were no longer any ways to escape. Noé’s hands were delicately holding him while his eyes still tried to meet Vanitas’s. When he finally succeeded he spoke again “I’m not going to pretend I’m ready to lose you or that I’ve given up hope that I won’t have to. But I can say that I truly love you. Unconditional. And I think… you're worth losing.”
Noé stared down into Vanitas’s eyes, his gaze unmoving. Worth it . Vanitas thought. Vanitas knew their story wouldn’t have a happy ending. When he confessed Vanitas had assumed that Noé didn’t. That he thought they’d live happily ever after like in fairy tales. But he’d been proven wrong.
As Vanitas peered into Noé’s eyes he realized Noé knew they would end in a tragedy so destructive poets could write about it.He just believed it was worth it . An idea that Vanitas hadn’t even contemplated. That all the suffering they would inevitably cause each other would be worth it for the moments where they were honestly, openly happy . Vanitas prayed it would be because at that moment he knew Noé was too certain to be swayed and that he was far too deep to back out now.
“Okay.” He mumbled, quiet enough that he barely heard it. Noé perked up. He tilted Vanitas’s face up, pulling him even closer. “Okay?” He repeated.
“I'm…yours.” Vanitas said, the last part barely a mutter, with his cheeks burning a beautiful shade of scarlet. Without a moment more of waiting Noé leaned in. With Vanitas finally having given his agreement Noé inched closer and closer. His hand slithered to the back of Vanitas’s neck, securing him in place in case he tried to run(again). Vanitas’s eyes closed on instinct when Noé’s lips pressed into his.
Vanitas had kissed people before. Plenty of young ladies and gentlemen but like everything else, it was different with Noé. His mind went completely blank. The only thing he could think about was Noé. His hands gently holding Vanitas still. His lips, more warm and sweet than he could have ever imagined. Vanitas’s mind was a foggy mess of heat and his senses being scarily aware of all of Noé’s movements.
The kiss wasn’t rough or aggressive but was still so passionate. Noé kissed like Vanitas was the most delicate and beautiful thing he ever had the privilege of holding. So perfect . Vanitas found his hands clinging to Noé’s collar and tangling in his snow white hair, more desperate to continue than he was willing to say.
When the kiss finally broke Noé had the most smug smile Vanitas had ever seen on him. And Vanitas was relearning how to breathe. Noé didn’t wait long before talking again. “You're so beautiful when you’re blushing.” His voice was filled with amusement.
Vanitas ignored the growing heat in his face and contemplated stabbing Noé. He settled on hitting him instead.
“Shut up!” He barked. Noé burst into laughter at Vanitas’s feeble assault. His laughter was so childlike. Pure and joyful.
“Now, Vanitas is that any way to treat your lover… ” he stretched out the last word as long as he could.
Lover. The word struck Vanitas. Yeah. Noé was his lover now. His. That thought warmed a part of him he’d kept hidden for so long. When Noé took his hand and continued his playful teasing, a feeling Vanitas hadn’t felt in years tore through him. For just a moment Vanitas knew without question or doubt it was worth it. Because they were worth it.