Chapter Text
Welcome Dave
emily: ITS HALLOWEEN!!!
Spencer: Happy Halloween! 🎃
penelope: spencer you are so cute
Spencer: Thank you? :)
Spencer: Halloween is my favourite holiday!
derek: hallowen
derek: i cant believe i agreed to dress up as fucking shaggy
penelope: bitch atleast ur not scooby :(
emily: me and jj are going to be the sexiest lesbians at the function 💯
derek: bitch what function u lonely ass socially inadequate emo
JJ: was that necessary
derek: yes!
Dave: I can’t believe you guys still dress up.
derek: dave u r such a fucking loser
derek: are u allergic to happy magical joyous times???
Dave: I think I might be.
emily: that explains a lot actually
Spencer: Is Sean excited?
aaron: very
aaron: it took him forever to get to sleep last night
derek: tell me about it jfc
penelope: can u blame him??? its his first halloween!!!!!
JJ: very true
JJ: what about you spencer?? are u dressing up??
Spencer: Of course!
Spencer: Luke, Elle, Ethan, and I are dressing up as the characters from Descendants.
Spencer: Elle is Mal, Luke is Carlos, Ethan is Evie, and I’m Ben.
emily: u as ben makes SO much sense
penelope: i was fr abt to say that
Spencer: Alex and her boyfriend, James, are doing a couples costume. I don’t know what it is yet, though.
JJ: cuteeee
derek: im just excited to take all of seans candy that has nuts in it
aaron: after you made fun of his nut allergy? i dont think so
derek: what!
JJ: ofc derek wants nuts… gaybo
emily: aaron me me me me can i have rhem
aaron: yes because thatll piss derek off the most
derek: bye wgat rhe fuck
emily: GAHAHAHAHHENFRMKSKE
derek: i hate you all
derek: my gorgeous looks have been wasted on dressing up as shaggy because of you all
JJ: sounds like a skill issue tbh…
derek: kill yourself tbh!
emily: derek do u hate women? :(
derek: DIE!!!
aaron: omg i think he does
derek: oh my fucking god
penelope: why didnt you tell aaron to die like u did to jj and emily?? is it because hes a man??
derek: I HATE U ALL
Caltech Gays
Spencer: Ethan is furiously pacing. Please hurry!
Spencer: I don’t like admitting I’m a little afraid of him when he’s like this.
elle: a girls makeup takes time
Spencer: You can do your makeup here!
elle: not in that cramped ass bathroom.
luke: sorry!!! had to leave roxy off
luke: im on my way im sorry spencer
luke: im a big strong man i can protect u from ethan in his moment of anger
Alex: Luke, we all know you’d cry if Ethan raised his voice even a tiny bit at you.
luke: MEN CAN CRY ALEX OK
luke: I AM FREE FROM TOXIC MASCULINITY
elle: we know
elle: gay ass
luke: wow ok :((
Spencer: Alex! Will you be coming over later?
Alex: Yeah! James and I are getting ready together, then we’ll be over.
Spencer: We’ll wait for you.
elle: spencer is being extra cutie ptootie today
luke: its his favourite day :D
Spencer: It’s my favourite day!
elle: ugh im making my way to ur dorm
Spencer: Oh, thank god.
elle: u better not annoy me while im in the bathroom
Spencer: I promise I won’t.
Spencer: Do I usually annoy you?
elle: stop being insecure and appreciate that i choose to hang out with u
elle: that should prove u dont annoy me
luke: thats very true!!
elle: once luke took my phone off charge and i didnt speak to him for multiple days
luke: thats also very true!!!
luke: living in an elle-less world was truly depressing :(((
elle: exactly
Spencer: Jeez, okay. I’m sorry for even asking!
elle: u should be :)
Derek and Spencer
derek: sean wanted to show u his costume
derek sent two images
[The first of the two photos is Sean in his Spider-Man costume, mask on. The second is with his mask off. In both pictures he is holding his hands out like Spider-Man.]
Spencer: His costume looks amazing! Luke and I were going to dress up as Spider-Man and MJ, but I don’t think we would have pulled it off like Sean.
derek: LOLL
derek: he rlly likes u
derek: sean i mean
derek: what u said abt kids not liking u is SO not true
Spencer: Really? I’m so awkward.
derek: u were good with him
Spencer: It’s the same with animals. Luke’s dog freaks me out, and she doesn’t like me.
derek: i have a dog and i know he’d love u
Spencer: I’m not so sure about that.
Welcome Dave
emily: WHERE RHE FUCK ARE YOU FUYS????
JJ: u guys left us
aaron: you guys took forever
aaron: sean didnt want to wait any longer
emily: ASSHOLLES’!!!!!!
derek: no u two r just slow as hell
derek: having lesbian sex instead of coming
emily: i did cum???
penelope: LMAOOOOO
derek: i despise u.
aaron: lets not talk about this right now
JJ: why?? do u hate lesbians
emily: yeah aaron wtf
aaron: i don't appreciate reading about any sexuality of intercourse when im with my brother
emily: thats fair enough
JJ: ur off the hook this time….
aaron: now hurry up we’re about to drive away
derek: pls i can only take so much of sean screaming to go
emily: running to u guys
Emily’s private Snapchat story: prentits
[A photo of the whole group in their costumes.]
caption: derek looks so fucking stupid LOLLL
Derek and Spencer
derek: I LOST THEM
Spencer: What?
derek: I LOST EVERYONE
derek: I STARTED WALKINF SLOWER BC I NEEDED TO SOLVE TODAYS WORDLE SND THEN THEYRE FUCKINGG GONE
Spencer: You play Wordle too?
derek: every freaking day
Spencer: I love it! And all of the different variants of it as well.
derek: i like the star wars one
Spencer: I don’t think I’ve played that one before. Did you know there’s a Taylor Swift one?
derek: WHAT
Spencer: Yeah! I’ve been playing it every day since Elle introduced me to it.
derek: thats so sick wtf
Spencer: We should talk about this later. You need to find your friends.
derek: SHIT UR RIGHT
derek: but how
Spencer: Lol!
Spencer: Use your phone and call Aaron.
derek: im so stupid
derek: TALK TO U LATERR
Spencer: Bye! Have fun. :)
Derek and Spencer
derek: so much candy im gonna vomit
Spencer: Oh wow.
derek: dont tell emily but i stole half of her reeces
derek: i was deprived of stealing seans
Spencer: I’m sure you’ll live.
derek: idk man
derek: i dont think so
Elle and Luke
luke: where rhe fuxk did yku and soencer go
luke: me and ethhan look like idiots without u guys
elle: cope
elle: we’re meeting alex and james
Elle’s private Snapchat story: man eater
[A video of Alex and James in their couples costumes. They’re Sebastian and Mia from La La Land. Audio is as follows:
Spencer: Doesn’t that movie have a bittersweet ending? They don’t stay together.
Ethan: No spoilers! I haven’t seen it yet.
Luke: You guys are so cute! Personally, I ignore the ending and believe that they got married and both got to follow their dreams.
James: Exactly what we’re going for.
Luke: James, you make a sexy Ryan Gosling.
Alex: Luke, stop flirting with my boyfriend.
Video ends.]
Welcome Dave
derek: why does sean have to leave tmrw
derek: im so sad
penelope: he will be deeply missed :(
emily: hes not dying
aaron: i can try and get him out more often for holidays
derek: LETS FOOOO
penelope: YIPPEEE :333
emily: i get what derek and aaron were sayinf that one time abt mcdonalds hangover
emily: i ate wayyyy too much candy
JJ: i told u to eat a proper dinner snd u DIDNT
emily: and whos fault is that
JJ: YOURS!!!
emily: true :(((
emily: the consequences of my own actions are catching up to me </3
derek: L
Spencer: I wishh we wnet trick or treatinf.
derek: oh my god
penelope: i was abt to ask where they went then i realised D:
emily: i forget spencer is like a hardcore alcoholic
Spencer: I&’m not.
JJ: LMFAOOOOOOO
Spencer: I’m going to pass out ijn this Ubber.
derek: drunk spencer is so scary
emily: derek go play mommy
derek: WHAT!
emily: take care of him
derek: you could not have worded that any weirder u SICKO
penelope: oh my glob!
Derek and Spencer
derek: i can ft u when u get back to ur dorm
Spencer: Thay’s okay,, you don’t nneed to.
derek: i dont know ethan pretty well but im guessing hes gonna pass out on the coach as ssoon as u get there
Spencer: Yeah.
derek: so let me help u
Spencer: Okaky.
derek: great !
derek: text me when u get home
Spencer: Home.
INCOMING CALL FROM: derek
Minutely Spencer Updates
derek: ou my goodness
emily: did he drunkenly confess his undyinglpve for u
emily: that was my plan
derek: he did not do that
emily: :(
derek: idk just felt like we were a couple while i was doing thay
JJ: u two r hopeless
derek: i kno :(
aaron: praying that they find a cure for your severity of homosexual
derek: 🖕🖕🖕
derek: asshole
Derek and Spencer
derek: goodnight spence :)
derek: also i will be needing those videos elle took of u at the club
derek: dont say she didnt bc i KNOW that girl and she videos everything