Chapter Text
Hunter wasn’t too sure exactly what he was doing. What laying in the bed made for him and staring at the wall he was allowed to decorate was going to accomplish. He knew he should’ve taken Camila’s offer, he should have been dragging his sluggish body out and into the open to help his sisters with dinner.
But he couldn’t move. His limbs felt constricted down, his eyelids felt full and heavy. When he would blink, he’d have to force them back open, afraid to sleep. His mind was so muddled with everything and nothing. The only movement he could make was the twitch of his fingers, grasping the material of his shirt between them.
His chest hurt. It felt like a gaping hole was inside of himself. His chest felt like it was bleeding out black, but when he squished his shaky, jerky thumb against it, it was normal.
He felt like a void. And there was no weight on his shoulder, no tiny pricks in his skin to pull him down from it. No feathers tickling his cheek. No chirps of reassurance. And it had been two years without it.
Hunter sat up. It felt in slow motion, like someone wanted to watch what he looked like in it, making sure to stalk his every move. He stared at the wall across from his bed, his numb hands in his lap.
He wanted to be comforted. It was so blunt, so earnest, it sent harsh stabs down his chest that had him wincing and curling into himself. He sniffled, as if he could cry any more.
Brushing the tips of his fingers against the plush blanket Luz had tucked him in with earlier that day, he uncovered himself. His skin had hit the cold Autumn air. It made his healed scars twitch.
His feet touched the carpet. He let himself bury them into the cushion of it, feeling it. Then he stood. He almost immediately dove right back into his warm covers, giving up his bravery to no longer fight to stay strong with it. But he didn’t. He stepped through the fog of sorrow that was his shared room. His fingers shook around the doorknob when he met the coolness of it and exited, shutting it behind him.
The house was eerily quiet. Hunter hated how he could hear his own hesitant feet on the floor. When he entered the kitchen after eyeing the empty living room, Vee was twirling a spoon around in a pot on the stove, Luz looking in it with a lost daze, her chin propped on her hand.
“What’s for dinner?” Hunter’s mouth slurred.
His sisters jumped their eyes to him.
“Hunter. Hey,” Luz greeted, a tired smile hung loose on her lips.
“Rice,” Vee responded, putting a lid on the pot.
“Not just rice. Boring,” Luz scoffed. “Spanish rice.” She shrugged. “It’s a comfy food.”
Hunter nodded, agreeing. He’d been served it on hard days. Guess today was not an exception. He appreciated it. “Where’s Mom?”
Luz looked behind her, where the dining table met back empty. “Not sure.”
“I think I saw her go into her room?” Vee suggested.
“Is she okay?” Hunter asked and he wasn’t sure why they both gave him this look .
“Are you — ?”
Vee cut Luz off. “I think so! I can go check—“
Hunter shook his head, causing a dizzy spell to make the girls in front of him blurry. “I can go. Look for her.”
Luz furrowed her brow and pushed off the counter, making her way towards her hermano . “Hunter? You good?”
Of course not, Hunter thought.
“‘M fine. Tired.”
Luz nodded. “Okay… Well, we’ll be here when you want us.” Vee hummed in agreement.
Hunter nodded back, face flat and mind fuzzy. He turned away and followed back upstairs. His feet walked through the hall, taking him to his mother’s room. His fingers laid atop the wood of the door, feeling the coolness of it. He tried to shake his head. Shake off this weird woozy feeling he had.
He knocked, numb knuckles to the door.
“Come in,” a muffled response. When Hunter opened the door, Camila’s back faced him. She looked like she was doing something on the bed. She started to turn around. “Need help with dinner? I know it’s just rice, but— Oh, Hunter. Hey, mijo .” She smiled like he was the brightest thing she had ever seen. Hunter felt awfully dull for her standards. “What’s up?”
Hunter didn’t have anything planned to say, he realized. He needed company and his legs had brought him here. He shrugged at her, moving away from the door and towards the bed.
Yarn and crochet hooks were spread out across Camila’s bed. “What’re you doing?” Hunter asked, words loose on his tongue.
Camila looked back on the bed like she was surprised it was all still sitting there. “Oh! Right, just… have been working on something. Wanna see?”
“Sure.”
She suddenly hesitated. “If it… makes you upset, I can put it away. Just thought I’d do something for you.”
Hunter narrowed his eyes. “For me?”
“Yeah… Ay. Here.”
Camila turned around, finishing up whatever she was working on. Facing him again, she handed him a folded muted red sweater. He frowned and unfolded it, holding it up by the shoulders. He wasn’t sure why Camila was looking at him so nervously until he noticed the bird in the top corner. A cardinal. Hunter held it back down to look at Camila.
“What are you thinking?” She asked him. She sounded so anxious .
Hunter’s lip wobbled as he looked back down at the sweater. “I…” A sob choked out of his throat and he gripped the poor red material in his fists.
Camila stood, but didn’t come closer. “Aw, baby. I didn’t mean to make you upset, I—“
“No— No, no. I like it. Really.” He sniffled. “Just… hurts.” He took a hand away from the gift and pointed at his chest. “Here. Hurts here.”
“Aww… I know, Hunter. I know. Can I touch you?”
Hunter cried again, a sound of anguish from his gut as he shoved himself into his mamá’s arms.
Camila brought them back down to the bed and Hunter just sobbed harder, curling up onto Camila’s lap, undeterred by his significant height difference. The mother rocked her son, carding her fingers through his hair.
“I miss him. I miss him and it hurts . When will it stop hurting so bad?”
“It might never, honey. And I know that’s not what you want to hear. I wish I could give you what you want. I really, really wish I could.”
Hunter wiped his nose on his wrist. “What… What do you mean?”
“Oh, baby.” Camila hugged him tighter. “You’ve just… suffered so much, yeah? I would give you the world if I could.”
Hunter smiled, a wobbly sad thing on his lips. “But I don’t… want the world. I want— you and Luz and Vee. Willow and Gus, Amity. I’m happy with that. But I… I—“ Hunter tilted his head down at the red sweater between his fingers. He felt fresh tears building up in his sinuses. “I want him here, too. I want him to see everything now. He would’ve been so happy. This is exactly what he wanted for me. And he’s not even here to see it!”
Camila hushed him tenderly, carefully to not let him get too worked up.
A vibrating sigh left Hunter’s lungs, falling back into Camila’s chest. “‘M sorry.”
“No, no, nene . You have every right to be upset. You’re just very exhausted. I can feel it.”
Hunter, despite the repressed sobs in his chest, gave a pitiful excuse for a laugh. “Yeah.” A sullen look pulled on his lips. “I’m… very tired.”
“I know, I know,” Camila whispered, giving a kiss to his blonde waves.
“Thanks for this,” Hunter spoke, gesturing to the handmade sweater. “I… I really appreciate this, actually. Must’ve taken you a while.”
Camila chuckled. “Ay. Not like you needed another sweater to your collection, but… I thought this could be an exception.”
“Ha… Yeah. Thank you.”
She ruffled his hair. “ De nada. Of course.”
Hunter slowly stood up from Camila’s lap. He eyed the cardinal carefully, the colored yarn so neat and thoughtfully placed with love to bring him the picture of Flapjack. He brushed it with his fingertips before closing his eyes and pulling the sweater on over his current black wolf tee. He lightly stretched the bottom out with his hands, looking it over, before turning to his mom.
“Perfect,” she smiled, wrinkles touching her eyes.
Hunter shakily smiled back.
After Camila gave Hunter a few more minutes to clear up his tears and breathe deeply for a little longer, the pair entered the kitchen once more. Vee was in the middle of setting out bowls and Luz was clicking off the stove.
Luz met their faces. “Food’s ready.” Her eyes traveled down to Hunter’s top. “Hey! Looks great!” Hunter nodded and went up to her, opening his arms up. “Oh? Okay,” she giggled softly, crossing over to meet him in his offered hug.
Hunter sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “How are you feeling?” he whispered.
Luz snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I know…that today is hard for you, too.”
“I—“ That had Luz short circuit. “Yeah. It is.” A mourning pause. “But it’ll be okay. We’ll be alright.” She pulled away to rest her hands on his shoulders. “Right?”
Hunter smiled. “Right.”
One last sound of clanging dishes ended and Vee was meeting up to them. “Awww. Did I miss a sibling hug??”
“Of course not, Vee! Get in here!” Luz turned around and yanked her in, forming a group hug. Hunter slowly felt Camila’s strong embrace from behind. He closed his eyes, feeling the love radiating from the warmth of his family's arms. He smiled, worrying his brows.
“Thanks guys,” he murmured.
A chorus of love returned to him, and their hold was just a little more tighter.