Chapter Text
Exer stirred from his slumber, gradually awakening to the sounds of movement and the unsettling echoes of retching. Initially, he felt a sense of disorientation, the allure of sleep tempting him to return to its welcoming embrace, especially after the eventful night he had endured. However, his memory swiftly returned.
He opened his eyes and shifted his gaze to find David, hunched over the bucket they had placed beside the bed before retiring for the night. Summoning his remaining energy, Exer wiped away the remnants of sleep from his eyes and reached out, placing a comforting hand on David's back. The fair-haired young man flinched slightly at first, but soon relaxed as he turned to meet Exer's gaze.
Exer had grown all too accustomed to this reaction, yet he still struggled to fully accept it. Every time it happened, a fierce desire to envelop David into his arms and shield him from the world surged within him. Exer longed to be the one who could keep David safe, ensuring that no one would ever harm him again.
With a furrowed brow, he slowly reached for David's hair, giving him the opportunity to halt the gesture if he wished, before gently brushing it away from his face.
Exer struggled to unravel the complex tapestry of emotions reflected in David's eyes, save for one that stood out prominently: guilt. However, the rest remained elusive, a mystery that had persisted for months. In the past, Exer had possessed an innate understanding of David's feelings, effortlessly deciphering them without even needing to meet his eyes. The subtle cues of body language had always sufficed. Yet now, Exer discovered that his beloved was a master at concealing his true emotions.
"I’m not feeling very well," David spoke, his voice laced with softness and regret. The way he sounded, all broken and fragile, tugged at Exer's heartstrings. It threatened to bring tears to his eyes once more, but he fought to keep them at bay, at least for now.
Exer responded with a gentle nod, acknowledging David's emotions. "Yeah, I reckon," he added with a soft smile, hoping that his boyfriend would find some solace in his words. He yearned for David to realize that he harbored no anger or disappointment.
"You still feeling sick?" Exer inquired, gesturing towards the bucket clutched in David's hands. He observed as those blue eyes shifted to follow his gaze, diving deep into contemplation.
He witnessed David swallow and close his eyes, a momentary pause before responding, "No, not at the moment," he sighed, accompanied by a gentle shake of his head. Exer nodded once more, assuring David that he would fetch some water, rising from the bed with care.
Once he came back to the room, he found his boyfriend leaning back against the headboard, lost in thought as he stared at his hands. The bucket had been returned to its place beside the bed.
He approached with measured steps, extending a glass of water to David, who accepted it with a thankful yet sorrowful smile.
He settled himself next to David, his presence a gentle reassurance. Patiently, he awaited David's completion of the water and the initiation of conversation. Exer was determined to proceed at David's pace, allowing him the necessary time, but if the silence persisted, Exer knew he had to take the lead. The events of the previous night served as a clear indication that it was crucial for David to open up about how he was truly feeling. Enough was enough, and Exer was ready to guide the way.
He observed as David consumed the majority of the water, delicately placing the glass on the nightstand. Exer maintained his watchful gaze as David fidgeted with his fingers, adjusting his posture, seemingly attempting to divert attention from his brown eyes. However, Exer understood that he could no longer retreat. He had granted David ample space in the past few months, believing it to be what he required. Yet, he could no longer allow the one he cherished so deeply to disregard his own emotions.
"Day," he began in a tender tone, his voice filled with a plea for David to meet his eyes. As their eyes met, a fleeting sense of remorse washed over him, tempting him to retract his words and seek solace in a comforting embrace, pretending that everything was alright. But he couldn't. Even though David's fearful gaze tugged at his heart, his love for him was too strong to yield.
Exer couldn't recall a single moment when they had locked eyes for such an extended period. While they often shared meaningful gazes, this was an entirely new encounter. It felt like a raw vulnerability, emotions laid bare and communicated solely through their eyes. Exer's own eyes were pleading and begging, while David's eyes gradually succumbed to surrender, allowing a flood of emotions to pour into his captivating blue eyes.
Exer couldn't quite determine the exact duration they had spent in that mesmerizing gaze, locked in each other's eyes. As he attentively observed the play of emotions in David's eyes, witnessing his courage slowly gathering as each flicker of determination of escape faded within his gaze.
It felt as though hours had passed before David finally nodded, as if he had finally come to accept that the time had come. Exer couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy, knowing that David must be feeling dreadful. While Exer himself had never experienced a hangover, he had heard they were far from enjoyable. Yet, they knew this conversation had to take place now.
David broke their eye contact, taking in a deep breath, as Exer held his own in anticipation. Finally, the moment had arrived when David would unveil his true emotions, shedding the protective facade he had constructed. It was the very barrier that Exer had long endeavored to dismantle, but always fell short. In that fleeting moment, Exer caught sight of the subtle clenching of David's jaw, followed by a sigh escaping his lips. It would’ve been evident to anyone observing that David was grappling with inner turmoil.
"I..." David began, his voice trailing off. Exer noticed the struggle within David, witnessing the way he wrestled with his thoughts, his mouth opening and closing in search for the right words. "I don't know where to begin... I'm not even sure of what to say."
Exer's mind raced, searching for a way to ease David's burden. The sight of David in this moment, so utterly lost, was not what Exer had envisioned. In mind's eye, Exer had imagined a different scene, with David crying in his arms, pouring out his heart. But the David beside him now appeared hollow, perhaps even numb. Whether it was to shield his true emotions or not, it left Exer feeling unsettled, unsure of how to navigate this delicate situation and how to proceed.
But Exer's resolve remained unyielding, a determination to make this easier for David. With a delicate touch, Exer reached out, placing a hand on David's cheek, slowly guiding his gaze back towards his own. Their eyes locked once more, and in that moment, Exer poured all the love he held for David into his eyes, hoping to convey it through their stare. Closing the distance between them, their noses touched affectionately. "Start by telling me how you truly feel, and be honest," Exer whispered, his voice filled with care and encouragement.
David leaned into the touch, his forehead gently pressing against Exer's. They closed their eyes, finding comfort in each other's presence, as David sought the words that eluded him. Exer felt the warmth of David's arms encircling them, while his head nestled against Exer's chest. Embracing David in return, Exer tenderly caressed his back, his eyes remaining closed. He simply listened to the rhythm of David's slow breaths, feeling him gradually relax within his arms.
"I suppose I had hoped that by now, I would have been over it already," David spoke softly. Exer responded with a comforting hum, urging him to continue. "I don't understand why he still lingers in my thoughts, why I can't simply let go and move on. Despite having all of your support, my mind keeps replaying his words in my mind, refusing to let me forget."
Exer's eyes fluttered open, unfazed by the tears that blurred their vision, welling up in response to the tremor in David's voice. With unwavering focus, Exer stared straight ahead, his gentle touch continuing to soothe David's back.
"I don't wanna be a burden to anyone, you've been so incredible, and you shouldn't have to worry about how I'm doing. Especially since you already have a lot on your plate, you shouldn't have to deal with me and my issues." David's tears fell onto Exer's shirt, dampening it slowly. He sniffled and took a pause before continuing, each word breaking Exer's heart a little more.
"I tried so hard to keep it all inside, thinking that if I pretended everything was fine, it would be. But it's not. I can't seem to erase the memories. His hurtful words, the pain, the taste of blood. My own father, the one who should love me unconditionally, disowning me for being true to myself. I want to forget. Yet, he haunts my thoughts, constantly belittling me, reminding me that I am no longer worthy of his love. Almost every night, I find myself back in that house, on the cold ground, consumed by excruciating pain. It’s like i can still feel it now. I long for it to stop hurting, i don’t want it to hurt anymore. I..." David's voice broke, giving way to full-blown sobs as he sought refuge in Exer's embrace. Exer fought back his own tears, but failed miserably as each tremor of David's body shattered his heart. Holding him tightly, Exer let his own tears flow freely. "I just want to find happiness again."
It didn't end there. For the next half hour, David kept pouring out all his emotions, expressing how unfair everything felt, how deeply he was hurting. That no matter how hard he tried to have a good time, it seemed impossible. How he felt guilty for not being a good boyfriend to him, a good friend to Ron, and a good brother to Brenda. How trapped he felt, unable to break free from the weight of what had happened.
David apologized countless times for the events of last night, explaining how Michael had offered him a drink, and he couldn't resist the temptation. He had hoped that alcohol would bring him the happiness he longed for, that it would provide an escape and allow him to find joy in life once more. And how wrong he was, and so sorry.
As painful as it was for Exer to witness the depths of David's anguish, the sobs that wracked his boyfriend’s body, it also brought a sense of relief. Exer had carried so much concern for David, for how he kept his emotions bottled up. This moment was like a breakthrough, a release. So Exer held him tightly, offering a safe haven for David to let it all out.
It took some time for David's sobs to quiet down, for the storm of emotions to settle. But when it finally happened, a serene calm washed over the air. They found solace in each other's arms, tears streaming down their faces, expressing their love through the gentle touch of their bodies. Exer tenderly stroked David's hair, offering reassurance in a soft, soothing voice, repeating his words of comfort over and over again.
After a moment of silence, Exer felt compelled to respond, the words tumbling out softly. "Thank you," he whispered into David's hair, his voice carrying a mix of gratitude and tenderness.
David's curiosity was piqued, and he shifted slightly, locking eyes with Exer once more, a question shining in his gaze. "Thank you?" he wondered, seeking understanding.
Exer's nod was gentle, his voice filled with sincerity as he spoke. "I'm proud of you for opening up," His words carrying a profound sense of admiration. Closing the gap between them, foreheads touching once again. "And I want you to know that I'm incredibly grateful for you. You're never a burden to me." With that, he gently placed his lips onto David’s.
As their lips met, Exer felt the warmth of David's smile against his own. "What did I do to deserve you?" David asked, his voice filled with wonder. It sparked a laugh in Exer, a gentle sound that echoed with affection. For it was a question that Exer himself had often pondered, but in reverse. Exer, the one who had stumbled along the path of jealousy and possessed a scary magic, found himself blessed with the love of a precious soul like David. A soul that radiated kindness and would never intentionally harm another.
Leaning back, the brunette gazed into David's eyes, a smile gracing his lips. "You have no idea how truly remarkable you are," he whispered, his words filled with admiration. "People care about you so deeply, simply because of who you are and the light you bring into their lives. Inside and out, you are a beautiful soul that never ceases to amaze and inspire me."
Acknowledging the challenges David was facing, he continued with heartfelt reassurance. "But remember, you don't have to put on a happy face for us to want to be there for you. We don't need a partying David. We care just as much about the David who feels sadness. We just want to support you, so please, let us help you. Just as you've been there for us in the past, let us have the opportunity to be there for you now. You deserve all the love and support in the world." As he spoke, Exer softly caressed David's cheek, every word sincere and genuine. After all, David was his favorite person.
In David's teary eyes, a mix of love and gratitude swirled as he took in Exer's love and support. It finally dawned on him that he didn't have to put up a brave front. Instead of speaking, David leaned in once more, cuddling up against Exer.
They remained in each other's embrace for another hour, finding solace and comfort in their shared presence. The rest of the day was filled with heartfelt conversations, both with Christine and even Exer’s father when the topic of therapy was broached. David greatly valued Harry’s advice in this matter. Though it took some persuasion, by the end of the day, David agreed to consider therapy, albeit with a hint of uncertainty and nervousness lingering within him.
Throughout the day, Exer held David's hand, a constant reminder that he was there for him, offering unwavering support and understanding.
No matter what, Exer was always gonna be by David’s side.