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2023-06-07
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2024-01-27
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13/?
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I know better than to hold you close but I can't seem to let you go

Chapter 13: Never let me go

Summary:

The case is almost over, will our two favorite detectives be able to wrap it all up? Well they'll have to play their cards just right.

Notes:

Surprise! I'm not dead! I've been having horrible back pain for a while and after some pain meds and bed rest I'm able to sit down for longer periods of time! College work has been swamping me and I've been working on this chapter intermittently throughout the winter break and last semester. It's longer than the other chapters so I hope it makes up for it. Thank you, all of you for continuing to wait and read my story. I know that you expected more and I apologize that I wasn't able to deliver in a timely manner but I'm just happy I have the last chapter out!. I will do a epilogue chapter but it will probably be a while since the new semester is starting up again. Regardless I hope you all enjoy this conclusion to the story I've been wanting to tell!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The alleyway behind the hospital is quiet. Visiting hours are over but not for Dazai, and certainly not for the others. It will be sundown in the next hour or two, that’s when everything will reach its climax. The magazines and news stations have already run the video and fake articles a hundred times over, it’ll be impossible for Yoshinaga not to see it. It’ll all be over soon.

Footsteps approach him from the left, Dazai closes his eyes and listens. It’s Kunikida. Usually Kunikida silences his footsteps, but around him and other members of the Agency, he allows his feet to make noise. Within the first week Dazai had everyone at the Agency’s footsteps memorized, it’s not something he did on purpose but rather something he picked up on subconsciously. Kunikida’s stride is one of purpose, every step is planned like they were written down in his notebook. The true markings of the future president of the Agency.

“Rest while you can, it won’t be long until we have to face Yoshinaga.” Kunikida rests his back against the wall next to Dazai.

Dazai opens one of his eyes to look at him, he smiles. “Kunikida telling me to rest? Are you sure you’re not an imposter?”

“Do you want me to take a bus back to the Agency and grab your paperwork?”

“You’re no fun.” 

Kunikida takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights one of them.

“Are you nervous?” He asks.

Kunikida takes a puff. “A bit. I’m more frustrated at myself that I didn’t see it sooner.”

“You think too much.” He takes the cigarette out of Kunikida’s hands and takes a puff from it. It’s rare that Kunikida smokes and it’s even rarer that they smoke together. Only when there is regret and high anxiety do they ever do something to take the pain away together.

“You don’t think enough.” Kunikida steals the cigarette back. “Do you want your own?”

“Nah, I prefer alcohol. However, if you want your lips to be occupied I’m more than willing to fill that position.” He winks at him.

Kunikida blushes. “Are you asking me to kiss you?”

“Maybe~”

“We’re on a job.”

“Yes, but you’re stressed. You know psychologists say that kissing a romantic partner relieves a lot of stress.” Dazai smiles as he lies through his teeth. 

“Is that so?” 

“Yes, and don’t you want a better alternative to smoking?” Dazai hooks a finger under Kunikida’s ribbon and gently pulls him closer.

Kunikida narrows his eyes. “Are you messing with me?”

“Absolutely not.”

“...Fine but only because it’s a healthier alternative to smoking.”

Dazai smiles and pulls Kunikida closer, meeting his lips with his own. He tilts his head and tries to pull Kunikida closer but the man pulls away.

Kunikida hums, opens his notebook and starts writing. “I think some stress was relieved but I’m not sure if it was the kiss. It could’ve been the cigarette.”

“You really know how to make a man swoon Kunikida.”

Not looking up from his notebook he responds, “You got what you wanted, so don’t complain.”

Dazai pouts and looks at Kunikida. He knows Kunikida knows he’s looking at him, it’s a test of will. Will Dazai give up his faux hurtness and move on or will Kunikida give in to what he wants? He already knows the outcome though.

“You’re pathetic, you know that,” Kunikida comments.

Dazai stays silent and stares at him. Kunikida turns and looks at Dazai, but Dazai turns away with his arms crossed. 

“Are you serious right now?”

He stands silent with his back to Kunikida.

“Really Dazai, the silent treatment?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

Kunikida sighs. He wraps his arms around Dazai’s waist and kisses him on the cheek. “There, is that enough for you? Or are you still going to complain?”

Smiling, Dazai hums with satisfaction. The feeling of Kunikida’s arms around him is nice, it creates a warm feeling he doesn’t want to let go of just yet. His phone buzzes and he opens it. It’s Atsushi, he got the stuff that they needed from the store and Kyouka is driving them back. Kunikida reads the text over his shoulder.

“What did you ask them to get?” He asks.

“Just something for the plan, you’ll see.”

“Do you still need that coat from Kamiya?”

“Yeah we can ask him to hand it over before it’s time.”

“Is everything going to go okay? I mean this plan of yours, Yoshinaga will surrender once he knows the truth right?”

“He will, he’ll give up because he knows it's all over.”

“Then no more people will get hurt.” Kunikida unwraps his arms and tells him, “Let’s start heading back to the hospital room while we’re waiting for Atsushi and Kyouka.”

Dazai watches Kunikida walking away. He knows Kunikida wants him to tell him the whole plan and everything that will follow, but ultimately every plan is always a gamble.

 

On the rooftop of a hospital stands a man, the dusk light makes him glow. Hospitals like these usually have chain link fences on the rooftop to deter people from jumping off, but this one isn’t really up to code. There’s a hole that was previously held together by duct tape, now the tape has long been discarded and the hole is wide open. The man stands at the edge of the roof with the fence behind him, a gust of wind blows through his hair and whips his coat around. He looks like a man who has lost everything, like a man who is truly alone in this world.

But he isn’t.

Hidden in the shadows stands another man, he revels in the despair he sees at the edge of the rooftop. This man has also lost everything including his mind and now it’s time for him to play his final hand. While gripping a small plastic vial in his pocket, he walks up to the fence.

“Luck finally ran out? How unfortunate.”

The man on the edge says nothing.

“Nothing to say? Don’t you see how poetic this is? Just months ago I was right where you are standing, my mom had just died and I got my diagnosis. I was ready to end my suffering, then you called. You called and told me you were transferring the money I needed for her, the money that would’ve saved her life, and then you told me about all the fun you had on your honeymoon and that you were glad to see your girls at home again. At that moment I thought, “Why does he get to have everything while I have nothing? It’s not like he deserves it, I did all the heavy work.” It was then, looking at the skyline that I realized that it doesn’t have to end here. I decided to use what little life fate had left for me to make you as miserable as I am. I have the cure right here in my hand, but it’s a little too late for it now. Isn’t it?” He laughs and climbs through the hole in the fence. “Here, take it.” He throws the vial at the man’s back, but no attempts were made to catch it

A breeze cuts through the night air. The vial hits the ground and rolls off to the side.

“What, nothing to say? Are you shocked that a poor frail man like me had the guts to defy you, you sorry bastard.”

Faint sounds of traffic below fill the silence. 

“Answer me!” He takes out a gun he’d bought just days prior, and readies it, “Turn around god damn it and look at me! Look at me!”

Kunikida has seen enough. He pulls out his own gun and aims it at Masaki’s head. “Put down the gun Yoshinaga!”

Masaki turns around, wide eyed. “Kunikida. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to stop you from hurting more people than you already have.”

“What? Why-Why protect him? He’s nothing! All he’s ever done is bring misery and pain. I'm only making things even!”

“Those children were innocent, his wife was innocent. Hell, their butler was innocent. Are you telling me they deserved all of that?”

Yoshinaga grits his teeth, “Oh they don’t deserve that but my mom did!? It’s his fault that she’s dead and now I’m going to die too! I’m not doing all of this for her or for vengeance. I'm just doing what the universe refuses to do, making things even! He got all his wealth and fame and family, but I got nothing when I deserved it the most. He owes me!”

“I don’t understand, why would he owe you anything?”

“Because the money isn’t not his! It’s mine, it’s always been mine and he knows it. I rigged the lottery with my ability, I’m the one who came up with the idea, I set everything in motion and all he did was buy the tickets and brag on TV. I can’t use my ability on myself so I had to use him. Winning once was enough but he wanted to go further and I was too tempted by the financial stability to say no.”

“So you made him win two more times.”

“Exactly! And does he say thank you? No, because he’s a greedy asshole. His parents cut him off financially and I helped him out of his debt, and this is how he repays me? By killing my mother?! I should’ve just gone with you like I originally planned.”

Kunikida stands stunned but he shakes it off, “What? I never would have agreed to something like that?”

“Are you sure? Because you agreed to help Tetsuya or is it because—to a righteous man like yourself—my cause is just too small. I had some regrets about trying to kill you before but now I don’t feel a thing at all. I bet if Tetsuya wasn’t paying you, you wouldn’t even give a damn if he suffered because you know that he deserves it.”

Kunikida grits his teeth, it may be true that he thinks Tetsuya deserves whatever karma has planned for him but he would never support going as far as to try to kill the man’s innocent family. It’s vile. “Then why even involve me? I know you told the Kamiyas about the agency and that I worked there, why choose me of all people?”

“Because I remember who you were in college, you got a good heart and no one with a good heart wants to believe that the sick man with the dead mom, no family or friends can’t do anything but wallow in self-pity. And that stab wound I gave myself really did go the extra mile in making people think I was weak and pathetic.”

As much as Kunikida hates to think about it, Masaki is right. He did see the sick man and pitied him, and refused to look further. The fact he would go as far as stabbing himself just goes to show how determined he was to make his plan work. “I know you wanted him to suffer but you didn’t need to hurt all thos”

“Even if I were to go after him alone it still wouldn’t be enough. I’m only trying to stop more people like myself from being hurt by people like him. With his family gone then the money will go back to the government, no reason for that wife of his to stay alive now that she found out her husband cheated on her and her kids died. She has essentially no one so she’ll take care of herself.”

Kunikida scowls. “You’re sick. You’ll pay for what you did.”

“No I don’t think I will. It really is a shame you’re deciding to get in my way again, you kind of remind me of that butler the family has—or I guess I should say had. It's ironic, he wanted to get back at Tetsuya for coming on to his grandkid but he wasn’t willing to go the extra mile like me. I knew he didn’t even want to give the kids that poison, so I had to trick the guy that it was sleep medicine. I also knew the instant he saw those photos on the slideshow that I made, he would do something stupid. And from having to be around that asshole for so long, I knew that regardless of who is going after him he had enough rage to displace that he would break that butler’s frail old body.”

“So that’s it, you don’t care about anyone except yourself. I never knew your mother personally but she’d be ashamed to see you right now.”

Kunikida’s comment clearly strikes a nerve in Masaki but he holds his composure well. “Yeah I know that she’s rolling in her grave, and I don’t blame her. I am the horrible son who couldn’t save her, but today Tetsuya gets to be the horrible father who couldn’t save his family. I guess that also includes you and your partner considering he hired you.” He takes aim towards Kunikida, “I may have no experience with a gun, but I think this bullet will go right where I want it to.” A barely perceptible ring of gold appears around his eyes. “Looks like your luck has run out.”

A large groan rings out from behind Masaki, “So lame!” The figure on the edge turns around. “Was that one liner really necessary? I mean you already had that long winded speech, so you could’ve stopped there.”

Masaki turns his head and his smile drops. “What the-it’s you.”

Dazai smiles and rips off the cheap wig and expensive coat. “I knew you would never be able to resist this. Your enemy, about to end his life like you were going to end yours all those months ago. There was no luck involved in knowing that.”

“Took you long enough to reveal yourself. I didn’t know how long I was going to have to stall.” Kunikida comments.

“Atsushi used too much wig glue. Do you have any idea how hard it is to rip a wig off that's attached to your hairline? I think I might need hair plugs.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

Dazai grabs the vial from the ground and tosses it over the edge while yelling. “ATSUSHI, HAVE THE DOCTORS ADMINISTER THIS TO THE GIRLS!”

“Where the hell is Tetsuya!” Masaki screams at Dazai, gun raised and ready to fire.

“With his wife and kids.” Kunikida quickly closed the gap while Masaki was looking away and now has his own gun against the back of Masaki’s head. “Surrender now. It’s inevitable that you’ll be punished for the murder of Alexander and the Kamiyas’ unborn child, but if you drop the gun and come with us willingly, then the police might be more lenient on you. It’s not too late to do the right thing.” 

“Do you really think it’s not too late for me?” Masaki lowers his gun and holds it to his side. He lets his arm go limp and hang at his side but the gun is still in his hand. He asks softly, “So all those articles and videos were fake? His wife is still by his side?”

“Yes," Kunikida says.

“Oh, and the girls they’re still alive? I didn’t kill those little girls?” Masaki has a loose grip on the gun.

Is it possible that Masaki regrets poisoning them? “No Yoshinaga, they’re still alive but you can-”

“Then I’ve failed.” Masaki quickly turns around and tries to aim, but Kunikida grabs the gun in time and points it to the sky. The gun goes off and Kunikida feels his blood chill, that bullet coming for its target.

 

Dazai lied—or really he didn’t tell the full truth to Kunikida before the confrontation. He told him that Yoshinaga would give up after learning that he failed to kill the girls, but Dazai never specified how Yoshinaga would give up. He knows suicide and suicidal people like the back of his hand, and Yoshinaga is the type to get his revenge and end his own life after the fact. Dazai knew the instant that bullet was fired into the air that it would hit its target.

He stands still, watching. Yoshinaga looks up in the air and takes two steps towards the hole in the fence, before being struck down by that golden bullet he shot up into the air. It goes in cleanly and he falls to the ground, blood pouring out of his head. Dazai stares at the sight and Kunikida stands still shocked over Yoshinaga’s body. 

This is the only way for things to end, Yoshinaga will never get a chance to continue revenge from behind bars and will live with his failure in death. However, the Kamiyas will be deprived of true justice by not having that man rot away in a cell for the rest of his days. It’s not a compromise that Dazai wanted to make, but it’s the only one that would ensure that those girls won’t have anyone else out to get them. He walks over to where Kunikida is now kneeling beside the body.

“Did things have to end this way?” Kunikida asks.

“Yes,” Dazai answers solemnly. He knows that Kunikida wasn’t that attached to Yoshinaga but he knew that Kunikida felt sympathy for him and he reminded him of a dear friend. 

“This world isn’t fair, so much of this could’ve been avoided. All this pain would have easily been avoided if this world was just…,” The sentence dies on Kunikida’s tongue and he stands up. “This world is unideal.”

“This world isn’t perfect, we all have to deal with the hand we’re given. So, make the most of the one you still have.” Dazai walks past him and starts his journey to check on the girls’ condition. Before heading out the roof top emergency exit, he looks back and Kunikida is lighting up a cigarette. 

He turns back and just as when he’s about to open the door, he notices it’s slightly ajar. When he finally turned around during his part of the confrontation he saw what looked like someone watching. He already has an idea of who it could be, as much as he would like to visit the girls now he knows that they are in safe hands with the doctors along with Atsushi and Kyouka.

The parking lot outside the hospital has a large number of cars but it's obvious which car is Kamiya’s, its loud shade of orange and clearly isn’t meant for more than two people. Kamiya is fumbling with the keys, trying to get into his car; the whole confrontation must have spooked him since it's confirmed that he was an accomplice in rigging the lottery in his favor. He sends a quick text to Kunikida and the others about the situation and decides to stop this clumsily grand escape. 

Dazai puts a hand on the man’s shoulder, “Where do you think you’re going?”

He quickly turns around and flashes a fake smile, “Oh-uh I’m just going to go home and grab the girls some things.” 

“Really? Because it looks like you’re trying to run away.”

“What? No-” He dashes away and runs down the center of the parking lot. He manages to get past three cars before tripping himself up and face planting completely on the asphalt. 

Dazai walks up to Kamiya as he gets on his hands and knees. He looks back at Dazai and tries to crawl away, it's pathetic. Dazai walks to the man’s side and he kicks it hard, Kamiya falls to his side and curls in on himself. Dazai delivers another hard kick, and another, and another, and another-

A familiar voice calls out from behind him. “I think he’s had enough Dazai.”

Dazai turns around, “Ango.” Ango stands with two men behind him, it’s a terrible sight for sore eyes.

“We can take it from here,” Ango orders the two suited men pick up Kamiya from the ground.

Mr. Kamiya looks between the two, “You have nothing on me four-eyes! None of this is my fault!”

“You’re correct, you might not have committed the actions that endangered your wife and children, but I believe you were the co-conspirator to a lottery fraud plot. I’m sure looking at your finances will be very interesting.” Ango orders his men to carry him away and now it's just him and Dazai.

“Ango, your timing is perfect as always!” Dazai forces a wide smile onto his face.

“Ah, Dazai, it’s been a while hasn’t it.” Ango pushes his glasses up.

“Not long enough!” 

Ango smiles but—as opposed to Dazai’s—his smile is more melancholic. “I had a feeling you would think so.”

“So, who called you here to brighten up my day!” Dazai says with faux cheer lacing his voice.

“Your partner, Kunikida. Since this concerns the government, he saw it fit to have us take Mr. Kamiya off the Detective Agency’s hands. He already gave me a summary of what happened.” 

“Well that’s less paperwork for me.”

“Thank you for apprehending Mr. Kamiya. Please pass on my thanks to Kunikida and the others. It was nice seeing you again Dazai, you look like you’re doing well for yourself, I’m glad.”

“Well the kids are doing better than I am.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” Ango takes it as his que to leave so that is just what he does. 

Seeing and having to interact with Ango is never pleasant, but he can take his mind off of it by checking on the girls. 

 

The moment that he enters the girls’ hospital room he hears crying, children crying. Two of the girls—half laying in their beds—hold on tightly to their mother sitting in between the two beds, who hugs them just as tight. The third girl—hooked up to a walking IV—sits in her mother’s lap and hugs her tightly with her head buried in her neck. Those poor girls must’ve been so scared when they woke up.

This image makes a memory rise from the depths of his mind. It’s like he's back at that bar, Odasaku had just entered and he looked tired, like he didn’t get a wink of sleep. He told him and Ango that yesterday, after a dangerous mission, he went to visit the kids afterwards. The moment they saw him they came running up to him crying, somehow they got word that he was out somewhere dangerous and they were scared that they would lose him. They wouldn’t let him leave that night and they all had a sleepover with all five kids sleeping on top of him instead of on their pillows. He didn’t get any sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen to the kids if there ever was a day where he wouldn’t be able to go back home to them. He must’ve been extremely tired that day, because he didn’t even realize that he called those kids as a part of his “home”. That night, Odasaku didn’t have much to drink because he had to leave early since the kids wanted another sleepover. Dazai doesn’t think that Odasaku ever expected that the kids would leave this world before him, but then again Dazai never thought that Odasaku would leave this world before he did either. Dazai was always sure that out of the three of them he would be the first to go, since nothing good ever lasts.

“Mr. Dazai!” The girl who sat in her mother’s lap calls out to him. Mrs. Kamiya looks up at him, her face stained with tears.

Dazai forces a smile on his face and waves at them. “I see you three are feeling better.” 

“Mhm,” She nods, still holding tight onto her mom.

His colleagues aren’t in the room. “Where are the others?” He asks.

Mrs. Kamiya wipes her face and answers him, “They went to get some food from the cafeteria. I’m afraid my kids are picky eaters.”

The girl on Mrs. Kamiya’s left looks around as if she is just noticing that her father isn’t in the room. “Mama, where's Daddy?”

She looks a bit hesitant to answer. “Your father got in trouble and he’s talking to the police. I’ll tell you more later.”

The girl doesn’t seem too bothered by this and just answers with a “Okay!”

A knock at the door pauses the conversation and Atsushi walks through with both his arms full of fast food. “Okay the doctors said that this should be okay.” His vision is nearly obstructed but an eye peaks over the mountain of food. “Dazai you’re back!” 

“You three got food without me? I’m hurt, Atsushi.”

Kunikida enters the room with Kyouka trailing behind, “Stop your whining. I know your order and got it for you.”

“How do you know I didn’t want something different this time?”

Kunikida turns to Atsushi, “You want his food then?”

Dazai hangs on to Kunikida’s shoulder, “Wait, wait, wait. I was messing with you! Don’t make me starve, Kunikida!” 

The girls giggle at their antics and it’s a nice change of pace from their previous crying. He’ll keep them up if it means that the girls have their minds taken off of all the things that they’ve experienced. This will probably be the most peace they’ll get for now, they should make the most of it while they can.

 

While eating fast food in a hospital room isn’t an ideal dinner, Kunikida still enjoyed it. They were able to give Mrs. Kamiya a break by entertaining the girls while she ate. You wouldn’t really know it from looking at the man but Dazai is surprisingly good with kids, its endearing in its own way. However, he always had to correct Dazai whenever he tried to tell the girls incorrect information about the world as a way to mess with them. Luckily the girl’s are smart and quickly figured out that he was messing with them so they decided to mess with him back by telling their own lies that were as, if not more, ridiculous than Dazai’s. Though all good times had to end and they had to leave since it was getting so late.

Now after finishing his nightly routine, he lays away in his bed, his mind plagued by only the worst parts of the day. Part of Kunikida wants to just go to the store and get alcohol and he can get blackout drunk, so he won’t have to remember the day’s events, but he’s too tired to actually go and do that. He’d smoke some more but that would require getting out of bed. His mind just won’t let up on him. It’s after 10pm, he should’ve gone to sleep an hour ago but of course his mind had other plans. He and the others got back two hours ago, and not even going through his nightly routine helped take his mind off seeing Masaki getting shot by his own bullet. He hurt all those innocent people just to get back at one man. Kunikida saved those girls and her parents, but he didn’t save everyone . Those that Masaki hurt will never get the satisfaction of seeing him behind bars, and that is what Kunikida regrets the most. He strives for his ideals but with every person he fails to save it gets harder and harder to keep pushing forward, but he can’t stop because if he does then those deaths will mean nothing. And then there’s Dazai not telling him the full truth but that’s a conversation to have for later, he’s too tired to think about it now. He stares at the ceiling, maybe some television will help him sleep.

Begrudgingly leaving the warmth of his bed, Kunikida swings his legs over the side and walks towards the living room. Upon entering he has to rub his eyes because there’s no way that Dazai is just relaxing on his couch in pajamas. After rubbing his eyes doesn’t work, he grabs his glasses from the nightstand. No, his eyes aren’t tricking him.

“What are you doing here Dazai?”

The nuisance looks up and smiles, “Just watching some TV.”

“Right, and you can’t do that in your own dorm?”

“Nope!”

He sighs, “Of course not.”

He walks further into the room to see just what’s playing on the television. Dazai has one of those weird game shows that try to make a fool out of the contestants playing. 

“Can’t sleep?” Dazai asks.

“No, you?”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“And you want to make that my problem?”

“Of course.”

“I should’ve known.”

“You want to know what can help your problem?”

“I’m not in the mood for you to mess with me right now, I’m tired.”

“I know that’s why I’m trying to help you by being a good partner.”

Kunikida raises his eyebrow.

“Come here. I know the perfect way to help Kunikida fall asleep, trust me.”

He considers for a minute. Does he really have it in him right now to fight back? “Fine.” He walks up to the couch and sits down, that’s when Dazai puts a hand on his head. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh, follow my lead.”

Kunikida doesn’t resist and Dazai guides his head down into his lap. Dazai takes his fingers and starts running them lightly through Kunikida’s hair. It feels…nice, Dazai’s fingers are massaging his scalp and taking out some of the knots in his hair. He hums and closes his eyes.

“I told you so,” Dazai says.

“I’m not asleep yet, idiot, so your trick hasn’t worked yet.” He yawns.

“Such a critic.”

They go silent and watch the strange program. Every now-and-again Kunikida will yawn which will sometimes be echoed by Dazai, fatigue is taking its toll on them both. This gets Kunikida thinking that it won’t be such a bad idea if he asks Dazai to stay the night. It would be inconvenient for Dazai to have to walk all the way back to his own dorm after Kunikida falls asleep, and Dazai did come over to do this favor for him so it wouldn’t be irrational to ask him to stay.

“Dazai?” Kunikida asks.

“Yeah.”

“It’s getting late.”

“I know. You want me to leave?”

Kunikida turns and lays on his back to look up at Dazai. “No I-,” Dazai’s gaze downward towards him makes him hesitate a bit. “You can stay here, since it's so late.”

“My dorm isn’t that far of a walk. Unless Kunikida is trying to find an excuse to ask me to stay so we can fall asleep together. You could at least wait til we’ve had our date.” Dazai flashes one of his signature smirks.

Kunikida blushes and turns away. “It’s not like that and you know it. I like laying with you like this. Even though whatever we have going on right now is still new, I feel comfortable because it’s you.”

Dazai’s smirk fades into a soft smile. “If Kunikida wanted to ask me to cuddle with him all he had to do was ask.”

“Shut up.” Kunikida stands up and stretches. He looks expectantly at Dazai for him to follow his lead. Dazai gets the hint and turns off the television and follows Kunikida to his room. 

Dazai throws his body on the bed and worms his way underneath the covers, a series of motions that he does every night with his own futon. Kunikida takes off his glasses and places them neatly on his nightstand. He slips under the covers and he and his partner stare at one another, both waiting for the other to make a move. Dazai reaches out and pulls Kunikida into an embrace, placing the blond’s head on his chest. He feels Kunikida relax and place his arms around him, holding him just as close. He cards his fingers through his partner’s long hair, massaging his scalp. A soft smile grows on Kunikida’s face and his eyes slip shut. Dazai could care less about the world outside and all the things they both experienced today, he dreads the morning because he knows he’ll have to let go and go to work but that's for the morning. Right now he and Kunikida are holding one another in each other’s arms, and he doesn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, I tried my best to keep it in character and I rewrote the ending and the dialogue a couple of times because it didn't fit with what I was going for initially. Fun fact! The chapter title is inspired by the novel "Never let me go" by Kazuo Ishiguro, I thought it would fit better than the place holder title I had (Dogs playing poker). I hope everyone has a great week and rest of January, and again thank you for reading and thank you for your patience.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! I've spent a few months on this and since it is summer I finally have time to get it all done. Fun fact! I've been writing this since December of 2022 so this has spent quite a while in the drafts. As always comments are appreciated and I hope all of you have wonderful days! :D <33333