Chapter Text
Remus woke to the sound of sniffling from the bed beside him and sat up. “Sirius, what’s wrong?” He asked, because asking whether he was okay always got the same 'I’m fine' in response. Sirius didn’t respond other than to hold his breath.
Remus sighed and got out of bed, tiptoeing to his boyfriends bed. “Siri?” he asked, reaching out a hand to stroke the boy’s hair and going to sit beside him.
“No, don’t!” Sirius said, pushing him away.
“What?” Remus asked, hurt flashing through him.
“Sorry,” Sirius blushed, flinching as a bout of thunder crashed around them, “I-it’s wet. I-”
“Oh,” Remus said, surprised. Sirius flinched and curled in on himself.
“Hey, it’s okay Pads.” The boy bit his lip and looked up at him, “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. C’mon, let’s go get you cleaned up.” He held out a hand to Sirius, who took it hesitantly.
Remus pulled him to his feet and led him to their joined bathroom. He left Sirius in the middle of the room, arms folded tightly around himself as he collected a clean pair of pyjamas, locked the door and turned the shower on.
He then went back to Sirius and kissed his cheek. “C’mon.” Remus helped him to undress, then dumped the soiled clothes in the hamper. He quickly stripped his own clothes and dumped them on a stool.
“What’re you doing?” Sirius asked shakily.
“Taking a shower with you,” Remus replied simply, pulling his boyfriend under the warm spray with him.
“You know, this is not how I imagined you first seeing me naked,” Sirius commented, some colour re-entering his cheeks as he shook off the cobwebs of his nightmares.
Remus smiled and kissed him chastely, “oh well, think you deserve it after that prank you and James played.”
“We didn’t mean to disintegrate you’re clothes Rem,” he said in a whiney voice, “We were aiming for Snape.”
Remus rolled his eyes and dumped shampoo onto Sirius’ head. Sirius chuckled. The two fell silent as Remus diligently washed Sirius, the former having batted his hands away as he tried to help.
“Why are you doing this?” Sirius asked, and Remus blushed a little.
“Maybe I like taking care of you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know. I want to. The wolf-” he took a deep breath and looked into Sirius’ grey eyes, “the wolf, it identifies you as my mate. It wants to look after you as much as I do.”
Sirius’ eyes went wide. “Wow,” he breathed out. Remus blushed and kissed him again.
“C’mon, let’s get back to bed.” Remus tapped Sirius’ naked butt to get him moving and switched the taps off.
They both stepped out and Remus threw a big towel around Sirius’ shoulders, before drying himself off and dressing quickly. Sirius started drying himself, but dropped his hands again when Remus came close, letting him take over. He wouldn’t admit it, but he quite enjoyed Remus looking after him. “Is there anything else the wolf compels you to do?” He asked quietly.
Remus met his eyes and smiled, “not yet. I expect I’m still too young for his libido to affect me.”
Sirius’ eyes went wide, “I guess we’ll find out.”
Remus kissed the tip of his nose and dropped the towel in the hamper, then came back with clean pyjamas to help him dress. They were Remus’ so he had to roll the trousers up a little so Sirius wouldn’t trip. “Are you okay now?” Remus asked standing up.
Sirius swallowed and nodded. “C’mon then, back to bed.” He reached out to grab his hand again.
“But what about the- the-” Sirius couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Sharing with me,” Remus said, it wasn’t like it would be the first time.
He led Sirius back into the darkened room and lay on his bed, pulling Sirius down with him. He wrapped his arms around him, spooning him from behind, “I’m right here Siri, okay?” he whispered, and Sirius nodded.
“Night Rem.”
“G’night Siri.”
There was a few minutes of restful silence before Sirius broke it again. “Rem?” he asked, hugging Remus’ arm tightly and pressing his back further into his chest.
“Mm?” Remus mumbled, wrestling himself back from the clutches of sleep.
“Can I tell you something?” Sirius bit his lip, staring at the drapes that surrounded Remus’ bed.
“What is it?” Remus asked, sounding more awake. He used the hand Sirius was clutching to stroke his chest, trying to calm the boy’s suddenly frantic heartbeat.
“I, I was scared of storms before I became Padfoot,” Sirius spluttered out.
“I know you were Pads,” Remus replied quietly.
Sirius nodded, his hair tickled Remus’ nose where it rested at the back of his neck. “It’s the noise. Not the storm. It reminds me of- of-”
“Of what?” Remus prompted softly. It wasn’t often Sirius wanted to talk about his feelings, and it was usually in the middle of the night when everything was quiet and sleepy. Remus tried to give him the space to talk when he wanted to.
“My mother,” Sirius breathed out. He was silent for a long moment and Remus thought that was all he had to say on the matter, but then he spoke again, “You know the scars on my back?”
“Yeah?” Remus felt his stomach drop, suddenly not wanting to know where they’d come from, despite his curiosity over the years.
“If- if I did something wrong, if I miss behave, she has this- this whip. The noise, it sounds just like the thunder.” Sirius’ voice shook as he spoke, he curled into a tight ball, as if he were trying to protect himself.
“That’s horrible,” Remus said, “Siri, I’m so sorry you have to go through that.”
“S’not your fault.”
Remus hugged Sirius tighter, “I know, but still…” He nuzzled the back of his mates neck and pressed a kiss there.
“Yeah,” Sirius said, “thanks for listening.”
“You know I always will.” Sirius relaxed in his arms and twisted his neck round to kiss him, Remus smiled into it.
“I love you Moony.”
“I love you too Pads.” And with that Sirius turned over and allowed himself to be pulled back into his dreams, feeling safe in Remus’ arms.
...
The following morning Sirius remained as close to Remus’s side as possible without actually touching. They hadn’t told anyone about their relationship yet. He was quieter than usual, but tried to keep up his banter with James, who kept throwing him concerned looks when he wasn’t looking.
Later when they were in the common room Sirius was playing exploding snap with Peter on the floor, his back leaning against Remus’ legs as he read one of the books he’d borrowed from the library.
“Can I talk to you for a minute Moony?” James asked, casting a fleeting look at the back of Sirius’ head.
Remus nodded, “yeah,” and closed his book. “I’ll be back in a minute Padfoot,” he said, squeezing his shoulder. He felt guilt shoot through him at the scared look in Sirius’ eye as he walked away. He had no idea what his dream had been about, but it was bad.
“Is he okay?” James asked without preamble once they were safely inside the dorm room.
Remus sighed, his shoulders drooping, “I don’t know. I think he will be. He got hit with a double whammy last night- storms and nightmares.”
James cringed, “I just wish there was something we could do.”
“I know.” Remus sighed.
“Do you think Madam Pomfrey could do anything?”
“I don’t know, pointless though, he won’t go to her unless he has no choice.”
James nodded, “are you okay with him? Sharing your bed all the time, I mean? We could take shifts or something if you need-”
Remus felt the wolf growl at the thought of his mate in someone else’s bed. “No, it’s okay. He looks after me after the full moon, it’s the least I can do. ‘sides, the way you sprawl out there’ll be no room for him.” Remus grinned.
“You sure?” Remus nodded, “Is there anything we can do, to make it easier, do you think?”
“I think we just gotta act normally.”
“Yeah.”
The two marauders went back down to the common room.
“PRONGS! MOONY! Where have you been all my life?” Sirius bellowed. He launched himself at Remus and wrapped his limbs around him.
“Omph!” Remus responded, collapsing to the floor at the sudden weight. “Honestly, leave you alone for five minutes,” he said, grinning up at Sirius who laughed, James and half the common room along with him.