Chapter Text
Mu Qing stayed facing that doorway for a while, heavy breaths slowly diminishing as his rage cooled. Forced to watch that shattered jar drip down the wall, forced to listen as Feng Xin’s hasty footsteps slowly faded.
It was only once there was full silence in that room when Mu Qing’s body turned and walked to the back of the armory. He grabbed a rag and a bucket of water before going to that hallway, sinking to his knees and beginning to scrub.
He didn’t notice as glass dug into his knees, or into his palms. And he didn’t care as his own blood mixed with the mess on the floor, or as it stained the water in the bucket.
“Mu Qing…” a voice called out, but he ignored it.
“Mu Qing…” it called again, louder this time.
“General Xuan Zhen!” The voice practically yelled. Mu Qing snapped awake from his dream, as he looked around the room he was inside. The pale blue light streaking from the window, although dimmer now. The lulling incense still hung in the air.
“GENERAL!-” Yue Ming began yelling through the communication array once more before Mu Qing cut her off.
“I’m awake, no need to yell anymore.” He said as he rubbed his eyes, and slowly rose to his feet. “Is there news on LaoTian?”
“Yes, excuse my informalities, but there is news on her. Deputy JieCai-“
“Less formal, more speed Yue Ming. What city has she started attacking anyone yet?”
“She was heard whistling in JiuShan in the southeast. While she did whistle for multiple nights in ChengHai before attacking, her song has already begun sounding in the streets, not just in dreams. This report is a few minutes old, but as of the last update from JiaCai she was still only whistling.
“Get me a few healing salves and put them out in the armory, as well as ZhanMaDao, then write out a distance spell for a JiuShan, anywhere quiet will work.”
“Yes General, that as well as a few stronger talismans has already been prepared for you. The talismans came from the Palace of Divine Might while you were resting… How was your rest by the way?”
“Not now. Just tell JieCai I’ll be down there soon, and head to the nearest temple before ascending back to heaven. It’ll be too dangerous for him if LaoTian starts attacking.” Mu Qing replied quickly, before leaving the communication array. Already out the door, Mu Qing ran down the hallway, not stopping to bow to the deputies in the medical bay, as he sprinted through the Palace of Divine Might. It was taboo to do so, but circumstances prevailing, Mu Qing thought it better to make haste. He sprinted down the avenue of Diving Might, sliding as he rounded the corner to his palace.
Bursting through the door, he rushed down to the armory where Yue Ming was waiting with the prepared materials.
“Good luck General,” She said while standing at attention, her instincts were telling her arm to poise in a salute, but Mu Qing’s old fashioned taste and constant correction of her, had trained her out of it.
He only quickly nodded, as he snapped his fingers to change into Fu Yao once more before grabbing ZhanMaDao and the small satchel. He sliced his finger on ZhanMaDao, feeling too rushed to delicately prick himself.
Pressing his thumb down on the distance spell, Mu Qing was pulled to the southeastern city of JiuShan, Feng Xin’s territory. And however groggy he was from such an abrupt awake, where he was heading was not a fact not remiss from Mu Qing's mind.
When he reached JiuShan, he arrived right behind the town’s grand temple. Not quite as magnificent as Mu Qing’s temple in ChengHai, but it was still nothing to scoff at. Immediately once he arrived, LaoTian’s song reached his ears, like the report said her song had already began in the streets.
Creeping around the back of the temple, Mu Qing looked in the small windows for signs of LaoTian, but couldn’t discern anything from the ground. By the time he had made his way to the front of the temple though, his theory of her stationing in temples was confirmed when her laughter rang out once more. Casting a quick invisibility spell on himself, Mu Qing walked towards the temples doors, and crept inside.
Mu Qing didn’t look at the statues of Feng Xin, at the murals of the portraits. There wasn’t time. He knew if he did, it would distract him. It would eat up his time, and keep Feng Xin on his mind in stronger ways than he could allow right now. And Mu Qing knew that if he couldn’t save people of the south because of an unrequited love, a toxic obsession, then he would never be a god capable of pride again.
He held his breath, as the invisibility spell slowly waned away, Mu Qing only hoped to get close enough for an attack on the ghost before she would know he was here. This had to be quick after all. Not only were lives on the line, but he was in Feng Xin’s temple, damaging this would be even worse than the damage he caused to his own temple.
The back of the temple had a small staircase leading up, and Mu Qing listened as the laughter came down those stairs. Approaching them, Mu Qing peaked up but couldn’t see anything save for the celling.
He took the steps upwards, careful not to creak them as he ascended. When his head was at the level to peer across the floor, Mu Qing paused and looked into the room. It was a small library, with scrolls ripped and strewn across the floor, bookshelves tipped over, so it’s more apt to say it was a library. Mu Qing would have to lure LaoTian out of this temple, or else she would only ruin it further. He would have to draw her outside of the city entirely.
Making his way up those last few steps, Mu Qing could finally see LaoTian, her face pressed against a small window as she laughed. Creeping towards her, Mu Qing placed a hand on ZhanMaDao, and quietly pulled it from his belt. There were only moments left in Mu Qing’s invisibility.
He rushed towards her as fast as possible wile staying silent, bringing ZhanMaDao above his head as his last few steps stomped on the ground before he swung down on LaoTian. She never moved or turned around, only continued laughing as the blade drew nearer and nearer to her head.
But when ZhanMaDao made contact, LaoTian’s whisteling stopped, and the blade sliced through that same ash Mu Qing had grown to hate. Realizing the ruse he had fallen for, Mu Qing infused himself with as much spiritual power as he could in the blink of an eye, before he put all his energy into dashing left.
SHHCK
The red blade of LaoTian came swinging from above, as the wraith jumped from above and stabbed where Mu Qing had been less than a second before.
“Lucky~” She said, her voice echoing in the small room. “All alone again? Did that go so well last time?” LaoTian asked, as she pulled her sword from the floor.
“Yeah, I think so,” Mu Qing said, scanning the room for a quick way onto the street. He her to get LaoTian out of this city, but without running straight through the main hall of this temple, there didn’t seem to be a way.
But he couldn’t be distracted for long, refocusing on LaoTian, Mu Qing saw her running towards him.
As she leaped into the air Mu Qing raised ZhanMaDao abov his head to block, but before their blades made contact, he ducked down and swung ZhanMaDao behind him connecting with LaoTian as she dusted herself to be behind him.
”AUGH!” The ghost cried out, as she vanished away again.
Just as he guessed she would, LaoTian had pulled the same move she always did of faking out Mu Qing, but she couldn’t use one playbook on this god.
“Lucky again, but luck can’t save you.” She hissed, while her dust swirled around the room. Knowing this would be his one chance to lure her out, Mu Qing ran towards the staircase, and leaping over the banister landed on the floor below him.
“You’re not fast enough to run from me!” LaoTian laughed, as he cloud of dust made chase onto Mu Qing.
‘I hoped not,’ Mu Qing smiled to himself, as he narrowly dodged running headfirst into the thigh of Feng Xin’s statue. He made his way onto the streets of JiuShan, and sliding around the corner of the temple, started running out of town.
The cloud of dust steadily caught up to Mu Qing as he made his way through the narrow streets of JiuShan. Most people were still inside their homesm from when they were hiding from LaoTian’s whistling, but Mu QIng could hear as windows creaked open for townsfolk to peek at who dared to run through the streets at this time. Though as soon as they saw a young man, blade in hand, being chased by a cloud of dark dust… their windows were shut with all their might.
As Mu Qing drew nearer and nearer to the forest surrounding JiuShan, he could feel specs of dust tickle the back of his neck. LaoTian was on top of him at this point and he only had a few moments left to run.
With the towns edge just a few houses away, and the first only meters beyond that, Mu Qing stopped in his tracks before he jumped backwards.
He watched before him, as LaoTian re-materialized, red sword in hand, “Done running now? I was getting bored.” She jeered, before dashing towards Mu Qing.
But when she leaped in the air, he neither raised his sword to block, or made a chance swipe behind him. No, he took off running towards the forest again, and by the time LaoTian had pulled her sword from the dirt path, Mu Qing had reached the first tree “Now I’m done running,” he said staring her down. He smiled with determination as he took the satchel he wore off and breathed deeply.
”Cocky little bitch!” Lao Tian screeched as she ran towards him.
Mu Qing dashed towards her, swiping ZhanMaDao up into the air as she leaped.
His blade just knicked her foot on the same leg he had cut earlier when she dusted, and reappeared behind him.
As the red blade swung toward him, Mu Qing leaped up dodging it, and kicked forward, conecting his feet with LaoTian’s face.
“OOHF” LaoTian cried out as she was knocked off her balance, and sent reeling towards the forest behind her as Mu Qing dashed with ZhanMaDao to attack again. This time grazing her shoulder before she managed to dust away.
Her cloud snaked around trees into the forest, and rematerialized almost out of sight beyond the foliage.
Mu Qing carefully walked into that forest as he looked for her, but she disappeared into the trees. He felt the wind around him chill, and heard the leaves rustle in circles around him.
But try as he might, he wasn’t able to pinpoint where she would jump down from, and when LaoTian game flying at him from the trees, ZhanMaDao wasn’t there to block her blade.
Hot steel seared Mu Qing’s flesh as it cut into his shoulder, before he was able to swing ZhanMaDao and slice through the space LaoTian occupied moments before.
The ghost reappeared on his right side, and swung again, this time her blades cutting through his robes and hitting Mu Qing’s thigh.
The pain was horrible as Mu Qing swung again towards LaoTian, before she dusted away, but not stopping his swing, Mu Qing made a full turn, slicing into LaoTian’s side when she reappeared behind him.
She cried out in pain once more, and disappeared into dust, while Mu Qing tried to catch his breath, not willing to cry out in pain, to give her that confidence.
He watched as her cloud flew up into the trees once more, before the wraith rematerialized. Mu Qing brought ZhanMaDao back to fighting stance, as he prepared for her to begin circling the trees once more. But before she even could, a blinding white light flew past Mu Qing, and shot straight through LaoTian’s dust cloud as she disappeared again.
Mu Qing turned to see the stressful, beautiful, intoxicating and heart breaking sight of Feng Xin. Mu Qing didn’t say anything as he turned back to watch the cloud of dust move once more.
While he didn’t know exactly what he felt seeing Feng Xin, or what he hoped they might say to each other after this fight, he knew a smile was on his face. A smile more genuine than he had felt in years.
”She went left!” Feng Xin called out, as he ran towards Mu Qing into the forest, and Mu Qing ran after her dust cloud.
”On her!” He called back, catching sight of LaoTian’s cloud which was becoming increasingly hard to follow as denser and denser trees allowed less and less moonlight.
The two ran for what felt like years as they got deeper and deeper into the forest, but as they entered a moon lit clearing, and realized they had no clue where the dust cloud went, Mu Qing stopped running.
Feng Xin stopped too, narrowly not running into Mu Qing. They both stood there catching their breath for a minuet, but while Feng Xin was looking at Mu Qing, the other was doing every thing to not look directly at Feng Xin.
Looking up at the moon, Mu QIng could see it full and bright, it’s silver glow making Feng Xin look even more ethereal. Looking to the green trees all around them, it made Feng Xin’s orange robes and brown eyes even more striking. Looking at the lake-
“She gone you think?” Feng Xin asked, looking at Mu Qing. There was no rage in his eyes, there was no decite or disgust, though Mu Qing would’ve been able to find some a mere few days ago. But turning to face Feng Xin now, Mu Qing saw what had been there for years. Moronic hope.
“Yeah, same as last night…” Mu Qing said, looking to the ground as his heart began racing. He quickly tucked the hair falling on his face behind his ears, concerned with his appearance at a time like this.
“Well- Mu Qing!” Feng Xin cried out.
“What?! Is she back?” Mu Qing said turning to face behind him, clenching ZhanMaDao tightly.
”No you fucking idiot, your fucking waist was grilled like a steak!” Feng Xin said, walking closer and leaning to look at Mu Qing’s side. “We gotta get you to the medical bay, or that wont heal right!”
”No no, It’s fine.” Mu QIng said, still turned away from Feng Xin to hide the embarrassment on his face, “I have healing salves in my satchel, I got to grab go back to the forests edge and get that anyways…”
“Oh…” Feng Xin said, watching as Mu Qing stood motionless while waiting for his blush to die down. “Here, I’ll walk with you.” He said cautiously, that moronic hope he’d held onto for centuries peeking out. And that just made Mu Qing blush even more.
“No it’s fine, I can make it on my own.” Mu Qing said as he walked past Feng Xin quickly, gaze glued back to the ground. Feng Xin just sighed, and Mu Qing could hear the defeat in his voice. “Or- maybe you should come along. Just incase.” Mu Qing said quietly as he stopped for a moment.
He couldn’t see it, but that simple sentence, that reciprocation for the first time in a millennia, made Feng Xin smile like a little kid.
Once Feng Xin caught up to him, the two began walking together in silence, but with a long walk ahead of them, Feng Xin couldn’t stand the quiet. Birdsong was gone, and on a windless night, the only sound at all was the chip of crickets.
“How did you know she was in JiuShan?” He asked.
“I had deputies positioned in all the major southern cites, and those slightly north in the east and west regions. Had to make sure we would catch her.” Mu Qing replied simply. Two weeks ago, he would’ve gotten defensive that Feng Xin was accusing him of being in the south east when Mu Qing watched over the south west, but tonight he just answered the question he was asked. No inferences from nothing, no false narratives.
“Smart,” Feng Xin said.
“How did you know we were here? I didn’t call for help unless a deputy from my palace did…” Mu Qing’s mind began to wander before Feng Xin laughed a little answered.
“I’ve been keep close eyes on all prayers coming in after the ghosts started rampaging, one of my deupties saw a large amount of prayers from JiuShan all at once and when I saw the word whisteling I ran right down.”
“Without a disguise again I see,” Mu Qing said with a small laugh, before quickly stopping himself and back tracking “Not that it’s bad, I’m just glad you rushed!”
Feng Xin laughed a little as well, then after an uncomfortable pause he spoke again. “Did LaoTian get you bad last night?”
“No, just a few smaller cuts.” Mu Qing replied simply, reminding himself there was no double meaning to that question. No hidden insult. “Why do you ask?”
“It’s just… never mind, I never asked.” Feng Xin said, “When do you think she will come back out? Tomorrow night?”
“Yeah probably- wait no, tell me why you asked,” Mu Qing insisted, looking to Feng Xin.
“It’s just… one of my juniors this morning mentioned you were heading there… that’s all.” Feng Xin replied nervously, not wanting to disturb the little peace the two had built up.
“What?!” Mu Qing yelled, before calming himself down in an instant, he didn’t want to disturb anything either after all. “Did someone from my palace tell them, or did that junior see me? Gods I hate fucking melon eaters.”
“Yeah… it was one of your juniors…” Feng Xin said quietly, “But! They were genuinly concerned for you, it was my junior who was the one being a shit ass and betraying his friends trust for brownie points with his general!”
Mu Qing smiled at the flustered nature of Feng Xin defending one of Mu Qing’s own deputies, not even one from Feng Xin’s palace. “It’s fine, I’m too exhausted to care. That’s the only reason I was there anyways, trouble resting.”
“Oh, good. I was worried it was something more serious.” Feng Xin said, suprisingly not asking any further about Mu Qing’s already embarrassing hospital visit, which Mu Qing was grateful as hell for.
“I went to visit Mei Nian Qing today,” Mu Qing said, and he watched as Feng Xin’s face instantly turned guilty.
“What about? He asked.
“Just things about LaoTian, if there is anyone who would remember her it would be his ancient ass.” Mu Qing replied before pausing, “But he also said you visit from time to time.”
“Yeah-“ Feng Xin said, turning his head away from Mu Qing now.
“When did that start?” Mu Qing asked.
“A week after we imprisoned Jun Wu…”
“Why did you start visiting him? Didn’t you hate him as a kid.”
“Kinda…” Feng Xin said, “But he can be a level head to talk to sometimes, and learning cards has been fun.”
Mu Qing took a deep breath before asking the question that had been on his mind since he heard that old man utter the sentence, “Why did you lie to him that we had been getting closer?”
“I- old fucking geezer… ” Feng Xin groaned under his breath, “I don’t know. It was just easier?”
“That’s the only reason why?” Mu Qing asked, pressing deeper. He had to know what Feng Xin wanted, why he held onto that stupid hope for centuries. Was it like why Mu Qing held onto the petty hate for centuries, or were his dreams to be shattered again.
“I don’t know, I hoped maybe that lying about it would make it true? I don’t know Mu Qing it was just something I said while talking with him over cards. He would ask about you and I didn’t want to bad mouth you infront of him.”
“Why?” Mu Qing asked again, Feng Xin had no problem bad mouthing Mu Qing infront of other gods, what made Mei Nian Qing different.
“Because, gods Mu Qing just because!” Feng Xin said in an exasperated tone, clearly dancing around a pot of hot beans he didn’t want to spill.
“Not good enough of an answer Feng Xin, why?” Mu Qing said, his tone serious. But he wasn’t mad at Feng Xin, not angry at all. He just had to know, more than anything in the world right know. He had to know what Feng Xin wanted.
“Because… I knew he was rough on you as a kid and I didn’t want to give him any other reason to be rude to you. That’s all.”
“That’s alll?” Mu Qing asked, dissapointment beginning to grow, but if Feng Xin could be a hopeful idiot so could he, “Why did you care if he is mean to me though? Why have you beem trying to get close to me?”
“Mu-“ Feng Xin started
“But before you answer, I have one last thing to say.” Mu Qing paused, “And I swear to all the stars in the sky Feng Xin, don’t make me regret this.”
Feng Xin stared at him expectantly, the two of them looked identical right now, eyes full of fear, anticipation, and hope.
“Thank you, for saving me. For holding on.” Mu Qing said, as he turned away to hide the face redder than the crimson rain.
“Mu Qing…” Feng Xin said as a smile grew on his face.
“Don’t Mu Qing me right now, just answer the question!” Mu Qing practically barked, even after being so tender and vulnerable, old habits die hard.
“I’ll tell you, just— look at me Mu Qing.” Feng Xin said as he placed a hand on Mu Qing’s unburned shoulder. “Wait, can you take your disguise off first?” Feng Xin said as he turned his face away again, but Mu Qing could see his flushed cheek.
“Just spit it out-“ he started, before sighing as he snapped and transformed back into himself. “Okay, are you ready to answer now?” He asked, the anticipation suffocating him, and his heart beating too fast for his chest.
“Yeah, just give me a second,” Feng Xin said as he took a deep breath,
“Feng Xin!” Mu Qing yelled, “You’re making me regret thi- MMPHR ” Mu Qing was cut off as Feng Xin quickly turned towards him and pressed their lips together.
Mu Qing’s whole body went warm and limp, as Feng Xin wrapped an arm behind him. His heart beat faster if that was even possible, and while it hurt like hell Mu Qing didn’t care. Feng Xin;s arm wrapping over the cut on his side didn’t matter, the fact he couldn’t breathe after already being short on air didn’t matter. He didn’t care at all. He just relished in Feng Xin, in the moment. His legs weak, Mu Qing could only wrap his arms around Feng Xin as he pulled the other closer.
Feng Xin leaned his head back as he looked at Mu Qing who gasped for air. “I’m sorry, I-“ Feng Xin said, but as he felt Mu Qing pull him closer he realized he was apologizing for nothing.
“Feng Xin…” Mu Qing said his face flushed red, but not turning away, “I can’t stand on my legs.”
“Yeah?” Feng Xin asked, smiling a little
“Yeah… I think I need you to help hold me up for a while.” Mu Qing said coyly as he leaned towards Feng Xin and pressed their lips together once more. He heard Feng Xin muffle a reply he could only assume was yes, as Mu Qing felt him self be pulled in even tighter.
In the world right now, Mu Qing had two wounds seared like a fancy steak, ghosts were rampaging all across the south, and a quite dangerous one named LaoTian was still at large, but despite what he told himself about getting distracted, Mu Qing didn’t care. He didn’t care about any of it, well more so he had forgotten all about it.
When they finally parted lips Mu Qing looked at Feng Xin with a soft smile, before they loosened their grips on eachother. “Feng Xin-“
“Yes?” Feng Xin said, worry rising to his face again.
“I’m sorry,”
“Wh-What? What for? Don’t tell me you’re gonna say-“ Feng Xin anxiously rambled before Mu QIng leaned forward and with a soft kiss shut him up.
“Nothing like that. I just wanted to say sorry for you know… you were trying for centuries and I never let you.” He looked down to his feet, somehow embarrassed saying something so simple after having just eaten the other’s face.
“Oh thank fucking gods,” Feng Xin said pulling Mu Qing close once again. “I was so worried for a moment there…”
“You don’t have to worry about that happening Feng Xin,” Mu Qing said as he hugged the other back, “I’m sure there will be plenty of other things to worry about with me, but it won’t be that. I haven’t waited a millennia for less than five minutes”.
“I won’t mind worrying for you,” Feng Xin said, “and you don’t need to apologise, neither of us have been perfect.”
“Yeah…” Mu Qing said, letting go of Feng Xin. “Hey, can we start walking again? My side-“
“Oh shit, yeah!” Feng Xi said, as he let go as well. “Do you need me to carry you or…”
Blushing like crazy Mu Qing laughed a little bit, “No, no. My legs are fine now.”
So the two started walking towards JiuShan again. They had barely taken five steps when Mu Qing turned to Feng Xin, “When did you realize?”
“Back in Xianle,” he said, “I took everything you said so personally, but still found myself going back to talk to you. To bother you... After a while it just clicked for me, it was all just so you would look at me.”
“You’re lucky then,” Mu Qing said, “Not being confused for so many years,”
“What? When did you realize?” Feng Xin asked looking towards the god next to him, arm around his shoulder.
“Only recently, in general terms that is. I don’t know what made it click specifically, but it was well after our own god hoods. Well after Mt. Tonglu…”
“Oh…” Feng Xin said, pausing for a moment. “Well that shits all behind us now,” he gently tugged Mu Qing’s shoulder as he pulled the god towards him.
“Yeah…” Mu Qing said, blush creeping back to his face as he stared forward. He knew if he even glanced towards Feng Xin he would want to kiss him again. This still all felt surreal, like one of his dreams. But none were this real, none were this perfect. This was perfect . Feng Xin, flaws in all, was perfect . Mu Qing wouldn’t have had it any other way, his regret now was that he didn’t know it all from the beginning. That he wasn’t brave enough from the beginning. Not brave enough to reach out, to see past his own lies. Not brave enough for Feng Xin.
But walking through that forest held by a man he barely even dreamed possible to be held by– Mu Qing’s regrets were far outmatched by his hopes. By his determination from this beginning to be brave. To be in control of the rhythm of his own relationships, whether they be chaotic, or gorgeous. They were his own to control.
From this new beginning, he would be brave.