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Chapter Text

Episode 6 – “The Scribe”

SCENE 1 - IN TORTUGA

[SCENE 1A – Tortuga docks]

[The Revenge has been back in Tortuga for a couple of days, when ships from the search-and-rescue mission for Zheng's fleet start returning.]

[Hellcat Maggie's vessel gets back first, also bringing one of the Red Flag Fleet. The latter is badly damaged, and held together with hasty repair work - it heads straight into the ship-yard beside the docks, for proper maintenance.]

[Frenchie, Oluwande, Ed & Stede all go along to catch up with the new arrivals.]

Stede - “Hellcat Maggie! How lovely to see you again – I wasn't aware that you were taking part in this endeavour.”

Hellcat - “Heyyy, Stede! How's it goin', man? Yeah, Bob was recruiting folks to the cause, so I thought 'why not?'. And it's been a right blast – literally, at times!”

Stede - “Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Er, what do you mean?”

Hellcat [gesturing towards the ship being repaired] - “Well, we found this, patched it up as best we could, and started heading back here. But, then we found another! In worse shape, though, and by then we'd used up most of our supplies mending the first ship. So we just fuckin cannibalised the second one! Stripped it of useful parts, and anything valuable or important, ripped a load of wood off to improve repairs on the other, and then – boom! Sunk it. Well, sped up the process of it sinking, anyway. Partly in case any of Ricky's guys happened to show up, who might have wanted to make use of it. Partly just for fun!”

Oluwande [grinning] - “That does sound pretty fun.”

Hellcat - “Fuck yeah! It's always a laugh, sinking a ship. So long as it's on purpose, of course, rather than the one you're actually on!”

Frenchie [winces] - “Hmm, yep, that's a lot less fun… “

[Stede nods solemnly, looking pained.]

Hellcat - “Sooo, Captain Bonnet, what've you been up to? Thanks for before, man – I fuckin love having my own ship!”

Stede [awkwardly] - “Um, well. I'm not exactly 'Captain Bonnet' anymore, actually! I retired, sort of. And since then I've somewhat un-retired, but only temporarily. Edward and myself will be heading off to pastures new, once the situation with Ricky etcetera is resolved.”

Hellcat [surprised] - “Ooh, really? What new pastures, then?”

Ed [grinning sheepishly] - “We're not actually quite sure yet, but it's gonna be awesome.“

Hellcat - “So, who's captaining the ship now?”

Frenchie - “Uh, that'd be me… “

Hellcat - “Nice one, man! You enjoying it?”

Frenchie [pained] - “Yeah, it's good, of course. Kinda terrifying too, though. Not sure I'm cut out for it, really… “

Oluwande [gently] - “You're doing great, man.”

[Frenchie smiles at him, unconvinced. Hellcat turns to Ed.]

Hellcat - “Can't believe you're giving it all up, man! You're Blackbeard!”

Ed - “Uh, sometimes, yeah. But I mostly kinda prefer just being Ed. So, like, maybe someone else can take a turn? I mean, I hear that Stede's kids already mistook both Lucius and Roach for 'Blackbeard', so - “

Hellcat [to Stede] - “You have kids?!”

Stede - “Indeed I do, yes. Two of them! And an ex-wife, who is as delighted as I am with the termination of our marriage.”

Hellcat - “You guys managed to get an annulment? Isn't that pretty fuckin impossible?”

Stede - “Ah, no, we did it the other way. Staged an elaborate setup to fake my untimely demise, and then I returned to the ocean and to my Edward.”

Hellcat - “Oh wow, your way sounds like much more exciting!”

Stede [pleased] - “It was rather good, yes.”

[He turns to Ed.]

Stede - “I'm sorry you didn't see it, my darling. You'd have loved it, I think.”

Ed - “No worries, love. Maybe we'll do it again sometime… “

[SCENE 1B – in the town]

[Archie enters an apothecary shop, holding the metal box containing the poisoned orange. She puts a gold coin down on the counter-top.]

Archie - “Hey, man. Not actually looking to buy anything, but I need to use your stuff to prepare some pretty nasty poison. I was gonna just do it in the galley, but the ship's cook found me and intervened… loudly and insistently. With a lot of impressively creative threats.“

Apothecary [looks warily at the box] - “What is it?”

[Archie takes the lid off, and shows him the orange.]

Archie - “Snake venom.”

Apothecary [doubtful] - “Hmmm, really? What kind?”

Archie - “It's from a vicar-viper.”

Apothecary [grimacing] - “Sorry to tell you, but you've been had. Whoever sold that to you is a filthy scammer.”

Archie [offended] - “Nobody sold it to me - I gathered it myself!”

Apothecary [surprised] - “Really?

[Archie nods emphatically.]

Apothecary [unconvinced] - “You're not just pulling my leg?”

Archie - “D'you really think I'd come in here and offer to pay to use your stuff, just because I wanted to make fun of you? I've got plenty of people I can laugh at for free!”

Apothecary [considering] - “Alright, yes - if you put it like that, it does sound unlikely… And I have heard rumours about people who could collect that venom. I thought it was just a myth, though… “

Archie [shrugs] - “It doesn't really matter if you believe me or not – are you gonna take the coin, and let me prepare this here?”

[The apothecary sighs but nods – Archie looks delighted. He shows her to a work-station, and brings over various pieces of equipment. Archie puts on a pair of elbow-length leather gloves, and a metal helmet that holds up a thick sheet of glass in front of the wearer's face. She cuts the orange open on a small metal plate, then used a stone pestle & mortar to crush it. The juice is discoloured from reacting with the venom – it is dark blue and cloudy. Archie strains the mashed pulp into a glass jug, using a fine cloth and then squeezing firmly to get the last few drops. The apothecary provides her with a tiny metal funnel – she takes a glass bottle from her pocket, fills it with poison, corks the top, and seals it with wax.]

[While Archie is working, another customer enters the shop - an elderly man with a grey beard, wearing a long coat with the hood pulled up. He clearly used to be quite tall before he stooped with age – but now he walks hunched over, leaning heavily on a stick. The apothecary greets him.]

Apothecary - “Good day, sir. I have the things you ordered ready to collect, as promised.”

Customer - “Excellent work - thank you, my good man. Here's the agreed payment.”

[He produces a money pouch, and counts out a sizable heap of gold coins.]

Apothecary - “I hope you won't take offence if I verify these, sir? It's my standard practice for large payments.”

Customer [laughing] - “Go right ahead - knock yourself out!”

Apothecary [rolling his eyes] - “Sir, if I had a dubloon for every time I've heard that one, I wouldn't still need to be running this shop… “

[The apothecary takes a few of the coins at random, and rubs the edges against a piece of black slate. He picks up a small glass bottle, places a tiny drop of liquid on each of these marks, and watches closely for a reaction.]

Apothecary [nodding] - “Very good, sir. I'll get your purchases wrapped up for you.”

[He takes the pile of gold and locks it away in a sturdy drawer, from which he retrieves two glass vessels. He places them on a piece of cloth on the counter, and gestures for the elderly man to look at them.]

Apothecary - “So, this bottle here has the concoction which must be ingested. Contains approximately fifty doses.”

Customer [concerned] - “And you're certain it won't kill anyone?”

Apothecary - “Someone would have to drink the whole thing at once, for there to be any danger of that.”

Customer - “And that applies to absolutely everyone, yes? I'm planning a … little trick on some … business rivals who crossed me. Quite a varied group, in terms of stature and so on. I can definitely render them all unconscious without any risk to life?”

Apothecary [wryly] - “Yes, sir. What a peculiar way to conduct a business meeting! But fortunately for you, I am well used to dealing with all the rough types around here. So long as you pay up, and you don't cause me any nuisance, you can do whatever you like with my products.”

[The elderly man smiles, and gives a soft laugh. The apothecary points to the other container – a small glass vial.]

Apothecary - “And this is the one for inhalation. A few droplets will suffice – put it on a cloth, and hold that over the nose and mouth for several seconds. It takes effect quickly, and is also guaranteed non-fatal.”

[The elderly man nods. The apothecary packs up his purchases, and hands them over. They exchange polite farewells. After his customer has left, the apothecary looks over towards Archie.]

Apothecary - “I wonder what the hell he's up to… but he seems very keen that it won't end anyone's life… “

Archie [concentrating on her work] - “Yeah, I'm less bothered about that, as you can probably guess.”

Apothecary - “Indeed. If that is what you say it is, I hope you realise how extremely deadly it will be? The tiniest amount, coming into contact with even the most minor abrasion to the skin, would be immediately fatal.”

Archie - “Yup - that's kinda the point.”

[She finishes stoppering the bottle, looks up, and grins.]

Archie - “I'm not gonna be the one actually using it, though – it's a gift, for a very captivating lady.”

Apothecary [eyebrow raised] - “Unusual. Most people would give flowers.”

Archie [laughs] - “Nah, she'll like this much better!”

[SCENE 1C – the docks, the following afternoon]

[Several more ships arrive, including the one which Zheng is on. Oluwande meets her as soon as she steps onto land, grinning with affection and relief.]

Oluwande - “You're alive! And you're alright!”

Zheng [laughing] - “Yep, seems that way!”

[They smile at each other, overjoyed to be reunited, then share a passionate kiss.]

Zheng - “It's so good to see you… “

Oluwande [kissing her again] - “Yeah, it really is.”

Zheng - “You're OK, then? And the others, are they all doing fine?”

Oluwande - “More or less, yep – not too bad. Frenchie's still a bit out-of-sorts, though. I think I should stick around with him a bit longer, try to help if I can. I really really missed you, though.”

Zheng - “You too – but I understand. You're a good man, to take care of your friend.”

Oluwande - “Thanks. Uh. I think everyone else is doing OK, yeah. But - I should probably warn you, Archie has a fairly weird present for you… “

Zheng [delighted] - “Awww, that's sweet! Wait – just how weird are we talking, here?”

Oluwande [laughs nervously] - “Extremely. But, it might also be very useful! I'd better leave it for her to explain – don't wanna ruin the surprise.”

Zheng - “Um. Is she, er… ? Like, courting me or something?”

Oluwande - “A little bit, yeah. But, only very tentatively – she doesn't want you to think there's any kinda set expectation.”

Zheng [shrugs, smiling] - “I'm certainly not averse to the idea… “

Oluwande - “Oh? That's nice! But remember, you don't have to agree to anything you're not totally sure about.”

Zheng [rolls her eyes affectionately] - “My love. I fucking conquered an entire country. I am not in the habit of being pressurised into anything. You don't need to worry!”

Oluwande [grinning] - “Fair point, queen.”

Zheng - “I missed Archie and Jim, as well as you. They can both be fairly exhausting at times, but I seem to have become rather fond!”

Oluwande [laughing] - “Oh my god, they really are, though!”

[SCENE 1D – onboard the Revenge, late that evening]

[Most of crew is gathered in the galley, finishing eating dinner. Oluwande & Zheng enter. Jim & Archie jump up to greet them both.]

Jim - “Heyyyyy, pirate queen!”

Archie - “Hi! How're you? All good?”

Zheng [smiling] - “Hi, you two! And hi, everyone. Yeah, it's all been going pretty well, cheers.”

Ed - “There's been loads of ships from your fleet turning up, over the last couple of days!”

Stede - “We've met quite a few of your captains, and crews.”

Roach - “Minghui was telling us about how they all escaped from Ricky's jail. Nice one!”

Ed [nodding] - “Fuckin fascinating – an excellent scheme.”

Stede - “Oooh, indeed! The layers of deception! Thrilling!”

Frenchie - “Hopefully we won't ever need to pull off that kinda thing… fingers crossed.”

Stede - “Yes – yikes! Pretty scary stuff, huh?”

Ed - “Yeah, let's try really hard not to get captured, hmm?”

[Stede nods emphatically, his eyes wide.]

Zheng - “It's been some damn good teamwork! For the escape, and also the search for the fleet since then. I haven't even met all the folks who set off from here – so far, just the ones led by a rather magnificent captain named Hellcat Maggie.”

Stede - “Oh, yes, we know her too! She didn't torture us to death this one time, so now we're friends!”

Zheng [perplexed] - “Right… OK? Good stuff. That's… an important part of any friendship, I suppose.”

[Stede nods happily.]

Zheng - “I haven't met your friends Anne & Mary yet. That's a different Mary, from the one you were married to, right?”

Stede - “Oh, very much so! Which is just as well, really, as I'm sure Mary Read would have been rather more successful in murdering me.”

Zheng [eyebrows raised] - “Which is something your wife tried to do?”

Stede - “She did, yes. But it was quite understandable, really.”

Zheng - “And, let me guess, now you're friends with her too?”

Stede - “Exactly! We went for a little visit just a few days ago, actually. It was marvellous!”

Zheng [shaking her head] - “You have some strange friendships, Bonnet.”

Stede - “I suppose you're right. Now that I come to think about it, almost all of my friends have planned to kill me at some point or another. Oh dear!”

Izzy [grinning] - “Sounds like you might be the problem, Bonnet… “

Pete - “You were definitely the problem, when we were planning to mutiny on you.”

[Lucius hisses at him to be quiet, but it's too late.]

Zheng - “You were… planning a mutiny, were you?”

Pete - “Oh, shit, I forgot… I wasn't meant to mention the mutiny. Um. Sorry?”

Zheng [laughs] - “Fortunately for you, I have of late let sentiment cloud my better judgement. I won't be holding you accountable for previous crimes.”

Pete [relieved] - “Thanks, queen!”

Zheng [sternly] - “Just don't do it again, hmm?”

Pete [hand on heart] - “Absolutely not.”

Roach - “Hey, have you guys eaten?”

Oluwande - “We had dinner over on Zheng's ship already – but cheers, man.”

Roach [grinning] - “Got room for cake? We were just gonna have some… ”

Zheng - “Absolutely! Thank you.”

[Zheng & Oluwande sit down with the others, and Roach brings cake to everyone.]

Oluwande [after tasting it] - “This is – oh, wow - it's fucking gorgeous. You absolute legend!”

[Everyone else agrees. Roach looks very pleased with himself.]

Archie - “I'm kinda surprised I got any! Aren't you still pissed about earlier?”

Roach - “Hmmm… so, you thought there would be… no piece for the wicked?”

Archie - “Heyyyyy! Nice one!”

Oluwande - “No! Awful one!”

Jim - “Ten out of ten for the cake, man, but zero out of ten for the joke!”

Archie - “Ah, so that's why I got forgiven, is it? Because I appreciate fine wit?”

Roach [warningly] - “It only gets you forgiven once, though. Never try that kind of thing in my galley again.”

[Archie nods contritely. Zheng looks fascinated.]

Zheng - “What did you do, Archie?! That is, if it's, uh… suitable for discussion over dinner?”

Buttons [solemnly] - “Ah, queen. Ye must keep in mind it's no a very polite dinner-table.”

Archie [looking shyly at Zheng] - “I wasn't doing anything impolite, anyway! I was just, um. I, I've, uh – I've got a present for you… “

Zheng [smiling] - “Thank you very much! I'm intrigued as to what it might be, if it's been banned from the galley… ?”

Archie [imploring] - “Roach? Can I go get it? Please? It's in a sealed bottle, now… “

Roach [exasperated] - “You promise it's entirely contained?”

[Archie nods, then grins beseechingly at him. Roach sighs heavily, but gestures at her to go. She dashes off to fetch it, from when she has securely stashed it in the hold.]

[Outside, on the dock, the elderly man from the apothecary is approaching The Revenge. He is not stooped like he was earlier, and he moves easily without the walking-stick. He lurks in the shadows nearby, monitoring the deck of the ship. Wee John is currently taking a watch, and is sitting facing the gangway to the dock. The elderly man sighs with frustration, and continues further along.]

[Archie returns to the galley, with the glass bottle of dark blue poison.]

Archie [smiling at Zheng] - “Uh. So. This is your present. It's snake venom!”

Zheng [impressed] - “Oh, wow – thank you! That's a very thoughtful gift.”

Archie - “It's mixed with orange-juice, which as you can see isn't actually orange anymore. Makes it into a bigger volume, though, so it's easier to use – but even diluted, just a tiny drop is fuckin deadly if it gets into the bloodstream. There's no known antidote. So, uh - be really careful with it, won't you?”

[Archie hands the bottle to Zheng. Zheng takes it carefully, then given Archie's hand a little squeeze.]

Zheng [smiling] - “Well, I hope to use this on Ricky. I heard today that he apparently survived our previous attempt. He's been a lucky little shit, so far, hasn't he? But his good fortune won't hold. And this could be just the thing to skew the odds to our advantage. Thank you very much!”

Archie [grinning] - “Jim and Oluwande helped, too. It's a present from all of us.”

Zheng - “Thanks, guys! That's really lovely.”

Frenchie - “You said Ricky survived, from the last time? Where'd you hear that?”

Zheng - “Jackie said that as soon as I arrived here, I should go and speak with a guy named Bob. Apparently he usually knows what's going on.”

Stede - “We met him, too!”

Zheng - “And… did he try to kill you?”

Stede [considering] - “Hmm, I'm not too sure – depends on whether it's possible to die from embarrassment!”

Zheng - “Why, what did he do?”

Stede - “Um. Never mind that! I definitely shouldn't have introduced the topic.”

Pete - “Stede wishes that Ed was a sexy octopus!”

Stede [blushing] - “Pete! That was unnecessarily direct!”

[He turns to Ed, seriously.]

Stede - “And I certainly don't wish you were in any way different. It was just a passing thought! I love you exactly how you are.”

Zheng [shrugging] - “You know that's a thing, right? I've seen a few artworks on the subject.”

Lucius - “And I've drawn a few! But, only since hearing about Stede's weird sexy dreams.”

Zheng [wryly] - “Don't worry, Bonnet. You're not by any means alone in your cephlapod-related proclivities.”

Stede - “It's not a proclivity! It was one dream! Which I would have forgotten about by now, if people didn't keep going on about it!”

[He pouts at the crew.]

Stede - “But, anyway, I really think we should discuss more important matters… “

Ed - “Like, what else did Bob say? I haven't been to see him today.”

Zheng [triumphantly] - “He's just heard that Ricky has abandoned Nassau.”

Ed - “Oh, wow!”

Zheng - “Yep. He's heading over to Carolina, to set up his new headquarters in Charleston. Sounds like he's only got a handful of guys still with him from the last place – most of them died after Jackie paid a visit!”

Ed - “Does Bob know who is with Ricky, though? Fang caught sight of our old pal Hornigold a little while back. Sounds like they've joined forces… “

Zheng [shaking her head] - “He didn't have any further details. It'd be good to get a bit more information, before making our next attempt.”

Frenchie - “Maybe we could head over that way, and do a bit of spying for you. I imagine you'll be staying here for a little while, dealing with your fleet as they return?”

Zheng - “Thanks, captain. That's an interesting proposal… but he'll have put out a description of this ship – you'd be recognised.”

Oluwande - “Ooh - we do have a different figurehead now, though!”

Frenchie - “Yeah, and it's awesome!”

Fang - “We could probably make the ship look a bit different in other ways, too.”

Ed - “Sure we can. Reconfigure the rigging, paint a few bits of the hull a different colour – easy peasy, puddin and fuckin pie.”

Frenchie - “Although, I suppose we might be more of a problem. We could probably make ourselves look different enough to avoid detection just from people who'd been told who to look out for – but, if we actually bumped into Ricky in person, he'd know us.”

Roach - “But… there might be a couple of us he wouldn't recognise so easily… “

Frenchie - “Of course! Buttons, you haven't had the displeasure of meeting this guy, have you?”

Buttons - “Nay, captain, ah havnae exactly met him as such.“

Oluwande - “But Ricky was there at Jackie's – he might've seen Buttons playing in the band.”

Buttons [shrugs] - “If ah shave ma heid an' ma beard, he'll no ken me.”

Oluwande - “Probably not, yeah. And, uh – your voice is… kinda distinctive… ?”

Buttons [in an outrageously bad French accent] - “Oh?! 'Ow dare you? I 'av neverrr been zo offendeed!”

Oluwande [laughing] - “OK, man, that certainly doesn't sound like you. Mebby tone it down a little, though?”

Buttons [in his usual voice] - “Ye can call me Monsieur de Fermeture… “

Frenchie - “And, would Monsieur de Fermeture be happy to do some sneaking-around?”

Buttons [smiling unsettlingly] - “Aye, cap'n. It wouldnae be the first time.”

Frenchie [turning to Jim] - “Have you still got that nose and beard?”

Jim [grinning] - “Of course - and I'm excellent at being sneaky!”

Buttons [approvingly] - “That ye are. Shall we go for a wee meander around the fair town of Charleston, then? Ye'll hae a beardie, an' ah'll be wi'oot mine.”

Jim - “I'd be up for it, sure.”

Ed - “I'd have to mostly keep a low profile, if we head over that way – but, if we could discreetly contact a couple of people there, I should be able to recruit whatever other help we need. Got a few favours I could call in.”

Buttons - “Ah thought it were a respectable kinda place?”

Ed [laughs] - “Mostly, yeah - but every town has a few disreputable types. And I know quite a lot of them, from my many years of being somewhat disreputable as well!”

Zheng - “This is sounding good. If you can gather information, and I can make some preparations here for using my gift - then we'd be well on the way to our next plan.”

Frenchie - “We could set off in the morning – already fully stocked and ready to go.”

Oluwande - “Awesome, let's do that!”

Ed [to Zheng] - “If we're all gonna head off tomorrow - could we give you some stuff, to pass on to Jackie when she gets back?”

Zheng - “Sure, no problem.”

Stede - “It's poison, too!”

Zheng - “That's unsurprising – she's been getting through quite a lot recently! Where'd you get it?”

Ed - “From her grandmother! She's cool.”

Stede - “Ooh, and there's a letter as well. And some medicine ingredients.”

Zheng [nodding] - “I'll keep it all safe, till she gets here.”

[mid-episode song is “I'll Tag Along” by Richard Thompson]

[Outside, the elderly man has acquired a small dinghy, and is silently paddling towards the prow of The Revenge. He carefully runs a thin thread over the bowsprit, by tying one end to a tiny pebble and throwing that over. Timing his movements with the gentle sounds of the water, he uses the thread to pull over a long piece of twine, and the twine to do the same with a thick rope. Moving with surprising agility, he climbs up the rope and onto the ship, leaving his dinghy to drift away across the harbour. He pauses, crouched in the small area just behind the bowsprit, listening intently for any sign of discovery. Cautiously, he peers across the deck – Wee John is still looking calmly towards the dock, and has not noticed him. He climbs silently up onto the deck, staying hidden as much as possible behind parts of the ship. Stede comes up ondeck, to relieve Wee John and take at turn at keeping watch. Concealed behind some barrels, the interloper watches Stede with an expression of pure hatred. Then he glances around, desperately searching for a better place to hide. One of the ship's dinghies sits on the deck nearby, with a large bundle of spare sailcloth stashed neatly inside. It makes a very fine spot for a stowaway, and the elderly man grins as he quietly slips inside and buries himself under the cloth. He stretches out to get comfortable for a long wait - then he carefully peels off his fake beard. It is Francis Spriggs.]

[The following morning, The Revenge sets sail, accompanied by their uninvited guest.]

SCENE 2 – AT THE BONNET ESTATE [BREAKFAST-TIME]

[Mary has finished her toast, and is drinking tea while looking through a bundle of newspapers & letters. Doug & the kids are still eating.]

Mary [producing a letter] - “Aha! A reply from the Darbanvilles… let's see… “

Doug - “Ooh, already? Fingers crossed… “

[She opens it, reads, and smiles widely.]

Mary [triumphant] - “They say yes! Any time this week, we're welcome to call over late-morning, and Louis can study in their library for a few hours. But they're busy all of next week, hosting some-or-other very distinguished guests. So we can either go before, or after that.”

Alma - “Let's go soon!”

Louis - “Yes, let's!”

Doug [to Louis] - “Are you ready with lots of questions?”

Louis [solemnly] - “I am always ready with lots of questions.”

Doug - “Good! And you, Alma?”

Alma - “Same, yeah!”

Doug [to Mary] - “And are you ready, love?”

Mary [slightly nervous] - “I think so… I've been practicing lock-picking all over the house. And I've sewn some massive pockets to the inside of that skirt.”

Doug - “Do you remember which plan-chest drawer the diagrams are in? From that picture I made to show you?”

Mary [grins] - “Yup, I know exactly where to find them.”

Doug - “Awesome! So, myself and Louis are in charge of staging Distraction One, then Alma initiates Operation Nap-Time, then all three of us will have to coordinate for Distraction Two… “

Alma [with a convincing display of concern] - “Oh, mother – you look a little unwell. Are you getting one of your headaches? Do you need to lie down?”

Doug - “Yup, exactly! But, before that bit… - “

[He nods encouragingly at Louis.]

Louis [reading an imaginary book] - “Doug, look! It says this bird doesn't exist around here, but I think I saw it once… “

Doug [also looking at the imaginary book] - “Hmmm, really? Gosh, that's quite surprising. I wonder if they can maybe get lost while they're migrating… “

Louis [sounding disappointed] - “Don't you know?”

Doug [apologetically] - “Afraid I'm not much of an expert on ornithology… “

Mary [laughs] - “The baron won't be able to resist that – hope you're ready for a lengthy explanation.”

Alma - “And if the baroness is still in the library at that point, then I also take part in Distraction One. I'll tell her I've been reading about pirates in the newspaper.”

Mary - “But without sounding too keen on them!”

Alma [nodding seriously] - “Oh, yes, I think I'll be terribly worried about the issue.”

Doug [to the kids] - “Great stuff! Then for Distraction Two, it'll be more a case of playing it by ear. Since by then, your mother will be off 'having a nap' – so we just need to keep them both entertained for a while, rather than hold their full attention. I think it should go fine!”

Louis - “Yay!”

Mary - “Here's hoping.”

Alma [satisfied] - “We're gonna be pirates of knowledge!”

SCENE 3 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE

[SCENE 3A – ondeck, night-time]

[Late evening, the day after setting sail. A crescent moon shines down. Stede is sat tucked away at the side of the deck, on a rug, fiddling nervously with the tassels along the edge of it. Ed approaches, grinning, holding a sheet of paper.]

Ed - “Hey, babe. I got your letter! It's lovely.”

Stede - “Oh, good! I hoped you would like it. I know it's a bit ridiculous to write to you, now that we're both here together, but you seemed to really enjoy reading the letters from before… so I just thought 'why stop?' - but, maybe it's too silly? Um, sorry Ed, I was being stupid - “

Ed [gently] - “No, none of that. I just told you: it's lovely!”

Stede - “You really don't mind that I sometimes do things which are… a tad eccentric?”

Ed [smiling softly] - “Fuckin love it! And I fuckin love you, as well.”

[He grins mischeviously.]

Ed - “And I love f- “

Stede [interrupting quickly] - “Yes, good, thank you!”

[They both giggle.]

Ed - “Sorry. I couldn't resist.”

Stede [affectionately] - “Edward, my love, I adore your uninhibited nature!”

Ed - “Just as well! Sooo… the letter mentioned a picnic?”

Stede - “Ooh! Yes! I thought maybe we could have a romantic date, with snacks?”

Ed - “Sounds amazing. May I join you there?”

[Stede nods eagerly. Ed sits down on the blanket, and gives Stede a gentle kiss on the cheek. They hold hands, and both lean back against the side of a dinghy. Inside, underneath a heap of sailcloth, Francis is keeping absolutely still and silent. He grimaces at the sounds of affection and silliness from the picnic, looking absolutely revolted.]

Stede - “So, I've got a bit of that nice rum left, and Roach let me put together some little sandwiches. I tried to make them look like fancy canapés, but they sort of fell apart… “

Ed - “Not a problem, love – it's kinda dark, anyways. We can imagine that they look super-posh, if you like.”

Stede [giggles] - “Good point! Yes, excellent. Oh, and I saved my piece of chocolate brownie from earlier, so we can share it!”

Ed - “Aww, babe. I already had a whole one - I'd feel bad eating some of yours too!”

Stede - “I would definitely enjoy half of it, shared with you, way more than I'd enjoy eating the whole thing myself.”

Ed [tears in his eyes] - “Stede, that's lovely… “

Stede [smiling] - “Um. It's only a bit of cake, darling.”

Ed - “Yeah, but, you're just so fuckin cute, man!”

Stede [chirpily] - “I am astounded that you seem to think so - but immensely glad!”

[He starts carefully unwrapping the picnic provisions. Ed watches him fondly.]

Ed - “I was talking to Frenchie a bit earlier, about what we'll do when we get there… “

[Stede nods at Ed, encouraging him to continue. Inside the dinghy, Francis listens intently.]

Ed - “Ah, wait, sorry. I shouldn't talk about this kinda stuff, on our date!”

Stede - “You can if you want to, my love. If you need to run through things?”

Ed - “Nah, fuck it, let's think about something else. I've had more than enough of plans and tactics for one day. Or, for a fuckin lifetime… “

[Their hidden companion looks disappointed and annoyed, scowling to himself in the bottom of the dinghy.]

Stede - “Would you like to hear something funny, and a bit rude?”

Ed [laughing] - “Uh, yes, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing I would like to hear!”

Stede - “You remember when I stabbed you?”

Ed [amused] - “Rings a faint little bell, yeah… “

Stede [gleefully] - “Well, it seems that Izzy was eavesdropping on us at the time. And, can you guess what he thought we were doing?!”

[He gives Ed a suggestive look, then giggles.]

Ed [delighted] - “Oh! No?! Really??”

Stede [chuckling] - “Yep! He said!”

[They both laugh.]

Ed - “No wonder he enjoys winding you up, now that he's somehow miraculously relaxed a bit. It's payback.”

Stede [nodding] - “Fair enough, I suppose. Tit for tat, eh?”

Ed [sagely] - “Tit for twat, yeah.”

Stede [jokingly scandalised] - “Edward! Language!”

Ed [laughing] - “Nobody can hear us over here, babe – and I know you've heard it all before. Mainly from Izzy!”

[The continue teasing each other and laughing, as they enjoy their picnic. Concealed in the dinghy just behind them, Francis looks absolutely sickened.]

[SCENE 3B – the following morning, along at the other end of the ship]

[Lucius is standing at the railing, holding on firmly to the edge of some rigging with one hand, and looking out pensively across the water. In the other hand, he cradles the small rollup that he's smoking. He sighs heavily on the exhale. Pete sees him from across the deck, and approaches. Lucius jumps slightly, but then gives his husband a small smile.]

Pete - “Sorry, love, I didn't mean to startle you… “

Lucius [shrugs] - “It's fine. Sorry I'm a bit jumpy.”

Pete - “Are you? Fine, I mean?”

Lucius [flatly] - “Of course.”

Pete - “You sure? You know you can talk to me, if anything's bothering you?”

[Lucius stares at him in disbelief, and raises an eyebrow scornfully.]

Lucius - “Can I? Really? You're very sweet, love, and you took great care of me when we all thought that Izzy had died. But you'd made it quite clear previously, that there are some things you just don't want to hear.”

Pete - “I… uh, I didn't mean it to seem like that. I want you to talk to me, if you're upset.”

Lucius [laughing harshly] - “Well, if that's the case, then you had a pretty weird way of showing it. Hmm? 'Come and find me, when Blackbeard isn't living rent-free inside your head' – oh yeah, sure, that's really supportive.”

Pete [quietly] - “I wanted you to think about the good things in life too, not only about the stuff that was hurting you… I just wanted you to be happy.“

Lucius [sarcastic] - “And you thought that the way to make someone happy is to tell them to shut up about the things that are upsetting them? Great, thanks. Problem solved.”

Pete [panicking] - “I'm so sorry, Lucius. I fucked up. I love you! Please, tell me what I can do to make things better?”

Lucius [shrugs] - “Well… I guess you could accept that sometimes I'm still pretty messed-up from the stuff that happened before. It comes and goes, and I can't control it, or even predict it. So if you really want to help, then you could bear that in mind.”

Pete [earnestly] - “I will. I'm sorry.”

Lucius [looking back out to sea] - “Great. Thanks.”

Pete - “I mean it, love, I want to make things right. I want to look after you.”

Lucius [sharply] - “How about if I tell you what you'd better not do, then?”

Pete [sadly] - “Yeah, tell me, and I won't.”

Lucius [coldly] - “It wasn't a nice feeling - being told I couldn't turn to you, when I had thought you'd be there for me. But I still loved you, and I still love you of course. I've just had to get used to keeping some difficult things to myself. You say I don't need to do that afterall? Awesome - I'll try to re-adjust. But… if you shut me down like that again, if I'm not doing alright and I want to talk to you, then that will be the last time I ever trust you. Got it?”

Pete [trying not to cry] - “Yeah, I've got it.”

Lucius [sighs] - “OK, good. We'll try that, then… “

Pete [softly] - “I really am sorry.”

Lucius - “I know. And I'm sorry it's been difficult for you, as well, and that I'm not in a good state sometimes. It's shit, I know.”

Pete - “I'll do better, love.”

Lucius - “It's not all on you. I haven't always coped with things very well either. We'll be OK, we'll work it out somehow.”

Pete [timidly] - “D'you want to maybe come inside and have some breakfast with me?”

Lucius - “You go ahead, I'm just going to stay here for a bit.”

Pete - “I could stay, with you?”

Lucius - “It's OK – go on. Ugh, I feel rough. D'you think anyone would mind if I went and had a nap in the hold?”

Pete [hopefully] - “If there's anything you're meant to be doing, maybe I could do it for you? So you can have a little rest?”

Lucius - “Thanks. But no, there's nothing in particular.”

Pete - “OK… I'll see you later, then?”

Lucius - “Yeah, see you in a bit. Go and eat, it's alright.”

[Pete leaves reluctantly, heading for the galley. Lucius finishes smoking, then makes his way towards the hold.]

[belowdeck]

[Lucius enters the hold. He sighs deeply, and wipes at his eyes with the end of a sleeve. Then he pulls out a bundled-up hammock from a shelf, unfurls it, and strings it up. He sits down in the hammock, sighs again, and puts his head in his hands.]

[Across the room from him, there is a rustling sound.]

Lucius [snaps] - “Oh, for fuck's sake! Um, sorry. Who's there? I thought you were all in the galley.”

[Nobody answers. There is another quiet scratchy sound.]

Lucius [mutters] - “Oh, great, we've got rats now.”

[mid-episode song is “Gemini Dream” by The Moody Blues]

[He gets up, and goes to look under a heap of empty sacks. When he pulls them aside, he finds nothing but a small piece of wood. It is tied to the end of a long string, which runs along the edge of the room to a space hidden behind some barrels.]

Lucius - “The fuck is this?”

[Lucius starts to turn around - just as Francis creeps up behind him, and grabs him by the throat. Lucius opens his mouth wide in shock, trying to shout for help. But Francis has a firm grip around his neck, and he can't make a sound. Suddenly, Francis clamps a cloth over his brother's face and at the same moment releases the chokehold. Lucius gasps for air, then immediately stops struggling and drops to the floor. Francis looks down at him in surprise, then glances at the cloth in his hand, impressed.]

[Lucius is only feigning unconsciousness – he kicks at his brother's feet, knocking him over with a loud thump. Francis laughs, and grabs Lucius around the throat again.]

Francis [sneering] - “That was very sneaky, Lucy! Very clever, yes! But not clever enough.”

[He increases the pressure, and Lucius starts passing out for real. There are footsteps outside the room, then a tentative knock at the door. Lucius struggles to make himself heard, but he is pinned down firmly and rapidly fainting.]

Archie [calling through] - “Uh, you OK in there? There was a noise. The fuck are you doing?”

Francis [pretending to be Lucius] - “I accidentally knocked an empty barrel over - sorry. I'm fine! Please, just leave me alone for a bit – I'll be out soon. I'm working on a little surprise… ”

Archie - “Sure thing, bro, catch ya later. We saved some breakfast for you.”

[Her footsteps retreat. Francis very cautiously lessens the grip he has around his brother's throat. Lucius is only breathing very shallowly, and makes no other movement. Francis shakes his shoulders, and slaps him hard across the face.]

Francis [laughing] - “Lucy, Lucy, Lucy! Are you faking it again, you little bitch?”

[Lucius does not react. Francis grins, and adds a few more drops of poison to his handkerchief.]

Francis - “Better not take any chances, hmm?”

[He clamps the cloth over his brother's face again, watching carefully to make sure he really is breathing in plenty of the fumes. Then he pulls some short lengths of rope from his pockets, binds Lucius securely around the hands and feet, and uses another piece of rope to gag him.]

Francis - “I still don't trust you to stay out of my way, dear brother. Whatever shall I do with you?”

[His gaze lands on a large wooden trunk, with a key sticking out of the lock. Francis grins.]

Francis - “Aha… that looks about right… “

[He opens the trunk, pulls out a large heap of blankets, and heaves Lucius inside. Humming cheerfully, he shuts the lid again and locks it, pocketing the key.]

SCENE 4 – AT THE DARBANVILLE MANSION [LATE MORNING]

[Mary, Alma & Louis travel inside the carriage, while Doug is riding out at the front to drive. He parks in front of the Darbanville mansion, jumps down, and opens the carriage door. He and Mary are more formal than usual, and much less familiar in their manner towards each other.]

Doug - “May I help you down, ma'am?”

Mary [accepting his proffered hand] - “Thank you, most kind.”

[Doug knocks at the front door, and is greeted by a maid.]

Doug - “Good morning. Please could you let the baron and baroness know that Mrs Bonnet and her children are here to see them?”

Maid - “They're expected, sir. I'm to show you all through to the drawing-room. Do come in.”

[The maid leads the group through to a large and sumptuously-decorated room, then goes to fetch her employers. Soon, the baron & baroness arrive to greet their visitors. They are both in their seventies - the baron is robust and unhurried, while the baroness is handsome and lively.]

Baroness [energetically] - “Welcome! How lovely to see you all. Mary, my dear, you looked simply charming at our last ball. But you must let me give you the name of my dressmaker, a couple of towns over – she can do some marvellous work, you know, even constrained to the widow's black - as you still are for, what is it now, another sixteen months? If you want a more current style, that is.”

Mary [smiling politely] - “Thank you, that would be great. And thank you so much for having us over today, it really is most kind of you!”

Baron [ponderously] - “Ah, we were happy to oblige - glad to help the young man with his studies. You're interested in ornithology, are you, eh, Master Bonnet? An excellent choice of pursuit, truly excellent - very diverting indeed. Though of course, the most comprehensive guides are not widely available – but fortunately for you, I have several close acquaintances who are highly esteemed experts on the subject. And even more fortunately, they've kindly sent me quite a few volumes for my library.”

Louis - “Thank you very much, I'm excited to see the books!”

Baron [turning to Alma] - “And how about yourself, Miss Bonnet? I believe the Baroness has numerous catalogues of the latest London fashions, if you'd like to see what the ladies there are wearing this season?”

Alma [trying to look interested, and failing] - “Um, thank you.”

Baron [amused] - “Or, are you not so keen on high society, my dear?”

Alma [politely] - “Oh, I'm sure it's very nice.”

Baron - “No need to stand on ceremony, Miss. What would you like to read about? I'm sure we have something to suit most tastes – the library here is really quite extensive.”

Alma [hopefully] - “Do you have any books about pirates?”

Baroness [laughing] - “Oh my goodness, do we ever? I'd rather say so! More than a few, actually – our youngest son was fascinated with them when he was around your age, too. Don't go running away to sea, now, will you my dear?”

Alma - “Uh, no, I won't do that. I'm actually quite scared of pirates, but I like reading about them. You see, if I know all about them, then I'll be really good at avoiding them.”

Baron [to Doug] - “And I believe you're the art tutor?”

Doug [smiling] - “Indeed I am, sir. I've been giving lessons to Mrs Bonnet for quite some time now. She's very talented, and hard-working! The children tried their hand at painting and sculpture recently too, with impressive results. An extremely gifted family.”

Baron - “Well, you'll be pleased to discover that my library includes some truly excellent volumes on the visual arts.”

Baroness - “I'm so glad to hear that you've all found some comfort in your studies and interests. It was a terrible tragedy, losing your dear husband like that – and your dear father, children.”

Mary [solemnly] - “We find great solace, though, knowing that he's in a better place now.”

Alma [putting a comforting hand on her brother's shoulder] - “And sometimes, it's like we can still hear his voice… ”

[Louis nods seriously.]

Baron - “That's the spirit, yes. Good, good. Got to keep on keeping on, eh? Now, let's go through and I'll start finding you those books… “

SCENE 5 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [LATE MORNING]

[Francis leaves the hold, where he has drugged & imprisoned Lucius, and walks nonchalantly along the corridor. He passes Jim, who does a double-take at his shaved face and prominent eyeliner.]

Jim [teasing appreciatively] - “Heyyyyy, nice! You did that just right now? Archie said you were working on a surprise!”

Francis [carefully friendly] - “Thanks! Yep. Felt like trying something new, ya know?”

[Jim strokes the dramatic close-clipped sides of their own haircut, and nods.]

Jim - “Come on up, then! I'm going with you – I wanna see what your hubby thinks of the new look…”

Francis [trying to mask his surprise] - “My, uh, husband?? Oh, yep, haha, right… My husband, yes. I… wonder what he'll think.”

Jim - “No need to be nervous - I bet he'll love it. Although, he was also a big fan of the full beard, of course. And of those cool massive sideburns you used to have.”

Francis [panicking] - “Yeah, yes, absolutely. Now that you mention it, I am actually a bit nervous about showing him. You're coming with me, though, right?”

Jim - “Yeah, man. Come on, let's go!”

[They pat him on the arm reassuringly.]

Jim - “Bro, you seem super-tense today. Everything alright?”

Francis [forcing a casual tone] - “Yeah, I'm fine! Thanks, mate. C'mon, let's go find my husband… “

[Francis gestures for Jim to lead the way, which they do. He follows, looking quite worried. Jim goes up ondeck, then turns and takes his arm gently.]

Jim [pointing] - “There he is – over there. Go and show him!”

[Francis looks over in the direction indicated. Unfortunately for him, it is not entirely clear who Jim was pointing towards. Several of the crew are gathered around, playing a very careful game of fetch with Sunshine. Pete, Izzy, Fang, Wee John & Roach are all sat around on the deck in a wide circle. They have made a rough ball by bundling up some rags, and are rolling this around between them for the dog to delightedly follow and play with. The kitten is also joining in, attacking the ball with great gusto despite being smaller than it.]

[Francis looks at Jim again, desperately trying to see who they had been pointing at. But they are watching Sunshine as she wanders around between everyone – so Francis still has no clue as to which of these five men he needs to pretend to be married to.]

Francis [to Jim, quietly] - “I'm just going to go and… have a last little check in the mirror – make sure I haven't missed any bits.”

Jim [laughing] - “You haven't – you look great!”

Francis [hurrying away] - “Wait a minute… “

[Jim looks amused, and watches him leave. They go to join in the game with the dog.]

Roach - “Hey, Jim. You good?”

Jim - “Yeah. Just had a slightly weird chat with Lucius.”

Pete [sadly] - “Oh. Did he tell you we had a bit of an argument earlier? Uh, well - not exactly an argument as such but, like – a conversation which was kinda upsetting.”

Jim [concerned] - “Oh shit, sorry man – nah, I didn't know that. He did seem a bit off, though… You guys gonna be OK?”

Pete - “Yeah, of course. Just, got some things to work out between us. About what happened before… “

Wee John - “It's not good to keep stuff all bottled up. Tough to get though it, but worth the effort eventually. You'll get there.”

Pete [sighs] - “I know. Hey, have you had any luck trying to chat with Frenchie?”

Wee John [dejected] - “None whatsoever. Pretty worried about him, to be honest.”

Jim [to Izzy] - “Hey, hombrecito. Perhaps you and I should give it a go. Possibly with Fang and Archie too? I mean, we were all together through the worst stuff. But… maybe too many people at once wouldn't be very calming for him.”

Fang - “Wouldn't want him to feel ganged up on - be a bit counterproductive.”

Izzy - “We need to do something, yeah. It's eating him up, and coming through in other ways. He seems to think we're all about to die at any given moment.”

Fang - “Which, to be fair, is kinda part of the pirate life sometimes… “

Izzy [sighs] - “Yeah, I know.”

[He look over to Jim.]

Izzy - “Shall we try talking to Frenchie, this afternoon?”

[Jim nods. Izzy turns to Pete.]

Izzy - “What about you two, hmm? Anything the rest of us can help with?”

Pete [dejected] - “Thanks, man. I dunno - maybe? Don't really think so, though.”

[meanwhile, belowdecks]

[Francis has unlocked the trunk that Lucius is trapped in, and is slapping his face, trying to rouse him.]

Francis [hissing] - “Lucius! Lucius! Wake up, you piece of shit! Which one of those fucking idiots out there went and married you?”

[Lucius remains unconscious, his head lolling and his eyelids barely fluttering.]

Francis - “Damn you! Wake up. Oh, for fuck's sake, Lucius! Fucking typical.”

[He shakes his brother by the shoulders harshly, but to no avail. He takes out a knife, grabs Lucius by the hair, pulls his head back, and presses the blade against his exposed throat. This still gets no response, and Francis gives up in disgust. He bundles Lucius back into the trunk and locks it again.]

Francis [viciously] - “Fine, then! I'm sure it can't be that hard to work out which one of them 'my' husband is supposed to be… ”

[He gets up, kicks the side of the trunk angrily, and leaves the room. On his way back up ondeck, he encounters Buttons, who looks at him warily.]

Buttons [ominously] - “Are ye a ghost?”

Francis - “What the fuck?”

Buttons - “Did ye perish, afterall, when Edward threw ye overboard?”

Francis [baffled] - “No… clearly, I'm fine.”

Buttons [gently] - “Ye have been here ever since, aye, an' I didnae notice anything amiss. But just noo… ye dinnae seem yersel…”

Francis - “I'm not a ghost! Why would you even think that?!”

Buttons [solemnly] - “Ooh, ye poor wee soul… d'ye no ken that yer deid?”

Francis - “Calm down, man, I haven't fucking died - I've only shaved my beard off!”

Buttons [looking at him carefully] - “Have ye? Oh aye, so ye did. Ah hadn't noticed what ye looks like. It's yer general presence that feels different.”

Francis [softly] - “Hey, I'm fine, don't worry about me.”

[Buttons looks sorrowful and pensive. Francis slowly steps forward, and reaches out a hand tentatively - Buttons clasps it gently.]

Buttons [sadly] - “That's no the proof ye seem to think it is, laddie. Ah've shaken hands with many a spirit.”

[Francis smiles softly, then suddenly moves fast and grabs hold of the other man's arms. He spins around and slams Buttons into the wall head-first, immediately knocking him unconscious.]

Francis [disgusted] - “Fucking weirdo.”

[He drags Buttons back through to the hold, where he takes out the small glass vial and tips a few drops of poison onto a gag. With that fixed in place, he ties Buttons up securely and hides him under a heap of empty sacks.]

Francis - “Stay here for now, you old freak. I'll fetch you when it's time… “

[He hurries off, heading back up the stairs.]

SCENE 6 - AT THE DARBANVILLE MANSION [LATE MORNING]

[In the library, the baron has set out some books for Louis to peruse. The baroness helps Alma to find an interesting volume about pirates. Doug & Mary are shown to the section on visual arts - fortunately for them, this is close to the locked plan-chest drawer which contains diagrams for the diving-suit. Mary sits down at a small table nearby, apparently deeply engrossed in a book about the creative use of charcoal.]

Baron [to Louis] - “Well, young man, do you think there's enough there to keep you busy for a few hours?”

Louis [impressed] - “More like for a few years – your library is brilliant! Thank you!”

[The baron looks pleased, and goes to check on his other guests. Alma is chatting about pirates with the baroness, Doug is browsing the shelves, and Mary is reading. The baron sits down opposite her.]

Baron [speaking ponderously] - “Aha, yes, that's a particularly fine example of truly in-depth analysis of a specific medium. It was sent to me by a very good friend, who is a highly respected artist based in Italy. We visited him there when we were travelling the world, a great many years ago now! Have you ever been to Italy? No? Oh, it's a marvellous place - beautiful landscapes, great food, very refined culture… the people are a little over-excitable, of course, but such is life, you can't have it all… It's good for a bit of a tour, but my goodness I couldn't put up with all that longterm. Don't know how my friend manages it. He's not from there, you see, he's a very respectable Englishman originally… ”

[Mary nods and smiles politely, unable to get a word in.]

Baroness - “Right! Please excuse me for a few minutes, I just need to speak with the housekeeper. But you all seem to have plenty to occupy yourselves with! I'll be back up shortly.”

[She strides off. Doug wanders over to the desk where Louis is reading, sits down, and gives him a significant look.]

Louis - “Ooh, look at this! Look at this bird here! I think I saw one of those, about a year ago.”

Doug - “That's interesting – where did you see it?”

Louis - “In the forest, near our house. Hmmm… but, look at what it says here! It says they don't even live in this part of the world. But I'm sure I saw it!“

Doug - “How confusing. Do they migrate? Perhaps one got lost? Is that something which happens, I wonder… ”

Louis [feigning disappointment] - “Don't you know?”

Doug - “I'm afraid I'm not much of an expert on ornithology. It's not an area I've ever studied much.”

[The baron is still in full flow, talking to Mary about other notable artists he has known. He is not listening to Louis & Doug. Alma glances up from her book, then goes over to her brother.]

Alma - “What bird did you say you've seen, Louis?”

Louis - “This one! But this book says it can't have been here.”

Alma [speaking a little louder] - “Well, I think you must have just imagined it! The book was written by an expert who knows much more than you do.”

Louis [raising his voice slightly too] - “Hey! I didn't imagine it! I saw it!”

[The baron overhears this finally, and glances over.]

Doug [gently] - “Now, now, children, there's no need to get angry with one another. Let's have another look, and see if this chapter goes on to say anything more about migration habits and mishaps… “

[The baron gets up, and goes to see what the dispute is about. Mary breathes a silent sigh of relief.]

Baron - “What's all this, then? Having a bit of a debate, I see?”

Louis [pouting slightly] - “Alma thinks I imagined this bird!”

Alma [also pouting] - “Well, I still think that's rather more probable than there being a mistake in the book.”

[The baron sits down at the desk beside Louis & Doug, and examines the page in question. Alma remains standing, reading over his shoulder. Louis turns to look at the baron.]

Louis - “What do you think? You know lots about birds, don't you?”

[The baron launches into a long-winded explanation of the many perils encountered by migratory birds.]

[Mary gets up silently, and goes over to the plan-chest where the diagrams are kept. She glances around, then retrieves a lock-pick from her bodice and gets to work.]

[Over on the other side of the room, the baron's monolog is in full swing. The children jump in with question whenever it seems like he might finally be reaching the point, instead sending him off on yet another tangent.]

[Mary manages to open the locked drawer. She removes a stack of large-format papers, which are labelled and numbered from 1/17 through to 17/17. Quickly checking that they are all accounted for, she very carefully slips them into the huge pocket which she has constructed inside her skirt. Then she locks the drawer again.]

[The baron is now telling Doug & the children about the many famous ornithologists with whom he is acquainted. Mary drifts over to look at some shelves nearby. She catches Alma's eye and nods, just as the baroness returns to the library.]

Baroness - “Hello, folks, how are we doing in here then?”

Baron - “We've had a little bit of a dispute, about migration patterns, but I think we're all friends again now, hmm?”

[The children nod, and shake hands with each other.]

Alma - “Perhaps you did see one. I shouldn't have been so quick to dismiss the possibility.”

Louis - “I understand that it sounded quite improbable.”

Baron - “Ah, good. Well done, very magnanimous of you both. Back to your studies, then!”

[Louis happily resumes reading the ornithology book, and Alma returns to the sofa where she had been learning more about pirates. Mary is still examining the shelves.]

[Mary pauses for a moment, and raises a hand to her temple. She appears to suppress a pained sigh. Alma looks up, seeming concerned.]

Alma - “Are you alright, mother? Are you getting one of your headaches?”

Mary - “I'm sure I'll be fine in a minute… “

Alma - “Do you need to lie down? That's what you usually do.”

Mary - “No, I wouldn't want to be a bother. It'll pass soon I expect… no need to fuss.“

Baroness - “Oh, don't be such a silly girl, Mary. It's no bother! We have a great many guest bedrooms here. Did you know we once had over fifty people staying at once?! It was quite chaotic, but such fun! Come along, you can have a nice little lie-down till you feel better. And then, I'm going to show you some of the latest clothing catalogues! Ooh, I know - you can have a nap in the room which once hosted our dear friend Lady Lily – very aptly named, she's the most stylish person I've ever known! Perhaps inhabiting the same space as she once did will inspire you… Oh, she's quite extraordinary – I don't believe you've met her, but if you had, you'd be sure to remember. She wears the most ravishing gowns, always at the very height of current trends. And she has such exquisite taste when pairing different items to create the most daring colour pallets, or when matching an ensemble to her surroundings… Of course, we use several of the same dress-makers. It is such a joy, to partake in the fast-paced and glittering world of fashion, you really must try it!”

[Mary smiles, and allows herself to be led away by the enthusiastic baroness.]

SCENE 7 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [LATE MORNING]

[Francis emerges ondeck – the others all look round to greet him. Jim wolf-whistles and grins widely.]

Jim - “Damn fine, bro!”

[Francis gives them a playful little bow, and smiles at the assembled crew.]

Francis [winking at Jim] - “Thanks, mate.”

Pete [with a shy smile] - “You look great, Lucius.”

Fang - “Yeah, it suits you! But, handsome chap like yourself, you suit everything.”

[Jim is giving Francis a knowing smile. Francis looks at Fang, speculating.]

Wee John [grinning] - “You're an absolute babe. Totally rockin' it!”

Fang [laughing] - “I'm kinda jealous – I can't experiment like that, I just look wrong without this big floofy face.”

Roach [gently reprimanding] - “Hey, don't put yourself down! You wouldn't look wrong. Although, I'll admit, I do admire your beard. It's magnificent!”

[Roach goes over and strokes Fang's beard appreciatively. Fang grins and blushes.]

Roach - “You've been using that new oil we made, haven't you? It's so soft! Lovely.”

[He looks up at Francis, grinning slyly.]

Roach - “The trouble with being clean-shaven is, it's a lot of upkeep. Either you take it off again so often you risk a shaving-rash, or you have that kinda stubble that looks hot but is fuckin hazardous.”

Wee John [winces] - “Ooh, there's nothin' worse that stubble-burn on your face.”

Izzy [smirks] - “Or anywhere else… “

Roach [winks at Izzy] - “Unless you like getting a bit roughed-up… “

[Izzy laughs, and gestures at Roach to fuck off. Francis looks around between everyone, baffled by the sheer levels of silly banter & outrageous flirting. Roach is now braiding parts of Fang's beard, while complimenting the texture enthusiastically.]

Roach - “Hmm, look at you! Sexy viking.”

Jim [raising an eyebrow at Francis] - “Does he have a broadsword, then?”

Izzy [laughing] - “You lot are fuckin disgusting. Innocent ears should not have to hear this filth… “

Roach - “Hey! You were joining in!”

Pete [confused] - “Which of us has innocent ears, anyway?”

[Izzy gestures towards the kitten, who is still enthusiastically battling with the cloth ball.]

Pete [laughing] - “Fair point! Good thing he's distracted… “

[Fang looks around for Sunshine, and spots her hiding behind Wee John.]

Fang - “Hey, you OK, Sunshine? Had enough of playtime? Are you tired?”

Wee John [turning around] - “Oh, there you are! Do you need a nap, poppet, do you want your blankie?”

[Sunshine edges out from behind Wee John, starting intently at Francis. She growls.]

Roach [softly] - “It's OK, little buddy. He's just shaved his beard off. Humans do that sometimes – we don't stay floofy all the time like you do!”

[Fang reaches out to gently stroke Sunshine, but she moves away from him - still watching Francis warily, with her hackles raised.]

Francis - “… what's going on?!”

Fang - “She must not recognise you, with your new look! Let her have a little sniff at you, then she'll be alright.”

[Francis takes a small step towards Sunshine – she immediately bares her teeth and snarls at him. He jumps backwards. Emboldened, she follows as he retreats. Pete gets up and goes to stand beside Francis.]

Pete - “Hey, it's fine, it's just Lucius. See?”

[Pete gently pats Francis on the shoulder, while smiling reassuringly at Sunshine. But as soon as Francis returns the gesture and puts a hand on Pete's shoulder, she goes ballistic. She barks loudly, which startles the kitten – he runs away to hide belowdecks. Roach dashes off to look for him, while Fang leaps forwards and gently takes hold of the angry dog.]

Fang [upset] - “Sunshine, it's alright, darling! Gosh, I've never heard you bark like that. There's no need to be scared, hey, it's OK… “

Francis [shaken, backing away] - “I'm just gonna be elsewhere for a bit -”

Pete [concerned] - “Want me to go with?”

Francis - “Nah, give me a minute… “

Roach [calling in the distance] - “Marmalade-Mittens! Where are you, tiny baby?”

[Pete nods sadly as Francis hurries away. Fang soothes Sunshine, talking quietly, then Pete sits down on the deck next to her. She seems her usual friendly self again, gently head-butting him and wagging her tail. She sniffs at his shoulder where Francis had touched him, and whines unhappily. She nuzzles into Pete's side carefully, looking at him with huge sad eyes.]

Pete [patting Sunshine gently] - “Hey, I'm alright – why are you worried about me? I'm worried about you! What's wrong, sweetie? Why're you so scared?”

[Sunshine climbs into Pete's lap and lies down, swamping him affectionately.]

Pete [to Fang] - “Can you go check on Lucius? I don't think he wants my company just now… And besides, I'm kinda trapped here.“

[Fang pats Sunshine gently, and gives Pete a kiss on the cheek.]

Fang [softly] - “Yeah, I'll go and see him. Don't worry, it'll all work out.”

[Pete gives him a small smile, and nods uncertainly. Fang responds with a reassuring little hug, then gets up and heads off to find 'Lucius'.]

[belowdecks]

[Francis is pacing in the hold, agitated, trying to work out how to get around this latest problem. There's a gentle knock at the door, then Fang calls through softly.]

Fang - “Hey, Lu. You doing OK?”

Francis [sighing] - “Yeah, come on in.”

[Fang enters, and looks at Francis with affection and concern.]

Fang - “That was really weird, wasn't it?! Sunshine's been so happy until now. And she loves you! You're the one who got her out of that horrible collar.”

Francis - “Seems like rabies.”

Fang [horrified] - “Oh my god, do you think so?!”

Francis [shrugs] - “Looks that way.”

Fang [anxious] - “I hope not. Oh, please, no!”

[Fang pauses to think.]

Fang - “But… she seemed fine before, and calmed down quickly afterwards too. I think she's just unsettled. Poor wee thing! She's not used to change, and there's been so much change for her recently. Now that she has a nice happy life finally, I guess even a tiny little change to her surroundings kinda scared her.”

[Francis sighs, disappointed that his suggestion of rabies hasn't worked. Fang misinterprets this as 'Lucius' feeling upset about the dog being aggressive to him.]

Fang - “It'll be OK, love. She just needs to get used to you looking a bit different.”

[Francis looks at Fang, intrigued by the endearment.]

Fang - “Hey, come here?”

[Fang opens his arms, and Francis steps forward tentatively to be embraced in a warm hug. Fang rubs his back gently.]

Fang - “There you go, I've got you. It's all going to be alright, just needs a bit of time. We'll be fine…”

[Fang cradles Francis tenderly, stroking his hair.]

Fang - “Hey. Love you so much.“

[Francis relaxes, thinking he has solved the question of who 'his' husband is. Fang mistakes this as 'Lucius' relaxing because he's being comforted and reassured. He smiles, and gives Francis a gentle little kiss.]

Francis [sweetly] - “Love you too. I'm so lucky.”

Fang [blushes] - “Aww, babe!”

Francis [coyly] - “And… being married is nice.”

Fang [smiling] - “Glad to hear it! I know you guys had a row or something earlier today, but you'll work it out. Don't worry, it's totally normal.”

[Francis looks at Fang, utterly taken-aback at the revelation that this man is not 'his' husband afterall. Fang, of course, sees this as 'Lucius' being surprised at what he just said.]

Francis - “Uh, what?”

Fang [reassuring] - “Of course it's normal. Being newlyweds is lovely, but that bit can't last forever. Navigating through life's difficulties together is harder, but also more rewarding.”

Francis [nodding, confused] - “Hmm, yep… “

[Fang gives him another sweet kiss.]

Fang [gently] - “I love you both. And I'll try to help, with anything you want me to.”

Francis [forcing a smile] - “Thanks. That's, uh, good to hear.”

Fang - “Shall we go back up? See if Sunshine has settled down, and try again? Maybe it was just all too sudden before. But if we go together, and approach slowly… “

Francis - “Sure, babe, let's try that.”

[Fang takes Francis by the hand, kisses the back of it, then gently leads him away.]

SCENE 8 - AT THE DARBANVILLE MANSION [LATE MORNING]

[mid-episode song is “Widow's Walk” by Suzanne Vega]

[In the guest bedroom, Mary wedges a chair firmly against the door-handle. She sags with relief for a moment, leaning against the wall, then launches into her task. From the large compartment inside her skirt, she removes the stack of diagrams and also a bundle of plain paper which she had brought with her. She retrieves a bottle of ink which was tucked into her bodice, and some quill-pens from another pocket. There is a dressing-table in the corner of the room. Mary spreads the diagrams out on the bed, then takes the first page over to the table. She props it up carefully, and starts the arduous project of copying it.]

[Meanwhile, in the library, all is quiet. Doug and the children are reading, the baron has dozed off in an armchair, and the baroness is perched at a writing-desk. She is busy attending to some correspondence, after making sure that her guests are happily occupied (and after making sure that they know she is in contact with a lot of impressively notable people).]

[Mary is hard at work with the complex diagrams and extensive notations for the diving-suit design. She has copied the first few pages, which are now spread out on the floor to finish drying.]

[In the library, the baroness finishes her letter and gets up.]

Baroness - “I'm just going to pop along and check on Mary – see if she needs anything.”

Alma [carefully casual] - “Oh, you don't need to do that. When mother has a headache, all she wants is to be alone for a couple of hours.”

Baroness - “Well, alright then - I'll leave her in peace for a little while longer.”

[At the sound of voices, the baron wakes up from his nap. They all return to their reading for a bit, then Doug gets up and looks out of the window.]

Doug - “What a beautiful day! And the grounds are absolutely stunning.”

Baron - “Ah, yes, they are looking rather fine at the moment. The fellow who designed them had also worked on several royal palaces, all around the world! A very skilled chap, we were lucky to enlist his services – fortunately, a friend of mine has close connections to the royalty, so he was able to put us in touch. See the new arboretum, over there? You wouldn't guess it was new, would you? Looks fairly well-established. We had several semi-mature specimens brought in. And although it'll be our great-grandchildren who really see them in their full prime, they're already looking rather magnificent… “

Doug - “Absolutely exquisite, yes! I would love to take a closer look some time.. ”

Alma - “Ooh, can we go for a little walk now?”

Louis - “I'd like to learn about trees too!”

Baroness - “What a marvellous plan! A stroll before lunch is very agreeable to the constitution.”

Baron - “Jolly good idea, yes. I must show you the new fountain too, it's delightful.”

[The baron talks about the fountain, while they all get ready for a walk. Outside, he leads them towards the arboretum, giving a constant commentary on the design and implementation.]

[In the guest bedroom, Mary is making good progress, but she still has several more sheets to copy.]

[Outside, the baron proudly shows his guests around. They all admire the trees in his new arboretum. When he starts leading them towards the fountain, which is back nearer to the house, Louis points at a tree which is quite far away in the opposite direction.]

Louis - “Excuse me, what's that one, please?”

[The baron squints into the distance.]

Baron - “Not quite sure which one you mean… “

Louis - “Could we maybe go and have a closer look? I was wondering if it might be a kind I've heard of recently, but I can't tell from here.”

[The baron nods - the group turn away from the house, and walk down a long winding path amongst the lawns. While the kids chat animatedly with the baron, the baroness links arms with Doug and gives him a shrewd look.]

Baroness [wryly] - “I can see what's going on, you know.”

Doug [surprised and concerned] - “Oh, um – I'm afraid I… don't understand?”

Baroness [laughing] - “You think you're being so subtle, don't you?”

[Doug looks baffled at this mixture of suspicion and amusement.]

Doug - “I, uh, I'm not sure – er, what?”

Baroness [patting his arm] - “Not to worry. Nobody's particularly surprised that Mary moved on rather quickly – the Bonnets never did seem very close.”

Doug [flustered] - “Oh! Oh, er, I see, uh, you mean… um.”

Baroness [smiling] - “Yes, 'um' indeed! The way you two look at each other - oh my goodness. It really is quite charming. And besides – if that weren't enough of an indication, not many small households have a live-in art tutor. Oh, don't look so worried, dear. I was young once, I know how it is!”

Doug [relieved] - “Er, thank you?”

Baroness - “Two years is a long time to wait, hmm? I do hope you'll be making an honest commitment to each other, when her time of mourning is officially over.”

Doug [smiling] - “We will be, yes - we've already discussed it. Uh. Does everyone know?”

Baroness - “Everyone suspects… “

Doug [anxious] - “Oh dear - I wouldn't want to tarnish Mary's social standing. We didn't mean for it to be so obvious! Do you think there'll be a terrible scandal?”

Baroness - “I doubt it. Not that it would bother Mary much, even if there was. She's a force to be reckoned with, isn't she?”

Doug [besotted] - “She's magnificent, yes. The most amazing person I've ever met!”

Baroness [sighing] - “She's a very fine woman indeed. If only she'd listen to some of my fashion advice, she could be really rather elegant.”

Doug [timidly] - “I rather like her style – it's unusual, quirky. And she looks beautiful, of course. Would do, in anything.”

Baroness - “Or out of anything, I'm sure!”

Doug [blushing and stuttering] - “Er. Uh.”

Baroness [wistfully] - “Ah, to be young and in love… ”

Doug [laughing] - “I'm not sure we're exactly young.”

Baroness - “Never tell a lady that, my dear. It's a matter of perspective, anyway. Just wait till you're my age, and you'll know what I mean!”

[Ahead of them, the children are asking the baron all about the plants they can see in the extensive grounds. He is enjoying having an audience, and answers their many questions happily.]

SCENE 9 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [TOWARDS MIDDAY]

[Fang & Francis approach the group ondeck again. Pete is still covered in a very protective dog, while Roach has not yet returned from his kitten-locating quest. Jim & Izzy are chatting together softly, and Wee John is getting out his knitting supplies.]

[Sunshine looks around immediately as the others approach. She gets up and stands defensively in front of Pete, snarling aggressively. Pete tries to reassure her, but she shrugs him off and advances towards Francis.]

Fang [soothingly] - “Sunshine, you're such a good doggo. Listen to me, OK? There's nothing to worry about.”

[He reaches out to hold hands with Francis. Sunshine barks loudly again, and then charges forward with jaws wide open. Fang quickly steps in front of Francis, and Sunshine swerves around, trying to get behind Fang's back. Fang crouches down and gently but firmly restrains Sunshine. She makes no move to bite him, but continues trying to reach Francis.]

Fang [despairing] - “I don't know what's happening!”

Francis - “I said it before - rabies.”

Fang [tears in his eyes] - “No!”

Pete [to Fang] - “Why don't you two go and have a little nap somewhere quiet and calm? Then we'll see how she is later?”

[Fang nods, and tries to lead Sunshine off belowdecks, but she refuses to budge. Eventually he picks her up and carries her away. She watches Francis over Fang's shoulder, still snarling.]

Fang - “Can someone bring a bowl of water along to the store-room? And that crate with all the blankets, please?”

[Wee John nods, putting his knitting down. He fetches the crate and follows after Fang.]

[Roach emerges from his search, still kitten-less.]

Roach [sighs] - “I can't find Marmalade-Mittens anywhere. And I need to go and get started on lunch - can you guys take over looking for him? Or, just wait for him to come out, I guess. Cats are good at hiding, so we probably won't find him till he wants us to.”

Izzy - “I'll go take a look. Can see if he wants some hunting practice, eh? With what some cheeky little shits might call a 'toy' mouse.”

[He grins at Francis, who looks a bit confused but smiles back at him.]

Francis - “I'll go and take a bowl of water to store-room for Sunshine. Maybe she'll like me better again, if she sees me taking care of her.”

Roach [putting a friendly arm around Francis] - “Come with me, babe, I'll find you some treats to win back her affections… “

Francis [grins] - “Cheers. And let's make a cuppa for Fang too – the poor guy needs something comforting after all that.”

[Roach leads Francis away to the galley, and provides him with drinks & snacks for both Fang & Sunshine. Francis thanks him, then heads off in the direction of the store-room. He pauses on the way there, taking a bottle out of his pocket and surreptitiously adding a large dose of poison to all the provisions.]

[Francis calls softly through into the store-room. Sunshine barks from within and charges, slamming against the closed door as she tries to get at him.]

Francis - “Oh my god! Fang, love, can you hold onto her for a minute? I thought I could sweeten her up by delivering some treats.”

Fang [after a slight pause] - “OK, I've got her. It's alright, darling, don't be scared! Lu's just bringing you some nice food. Isn't that kind of him, after you've been so cross today?”

[Francis enters, cautiously. Sunshine tries to attack him again, but is carefully held back by Fang.]

Francis [looking unsettled] - “Got some treats and some water for you, Sunshine… “

[He puts them down on the floor. Fang smiles at him. Sunshine snarls.]

Francis - “And some tea and biscuits for you as well, babe.”

Fang - “Thanks! That's lovely.”

[Francis puts the things for Fang down on top of a barrel, then leaves the room. He shuts the door gently, then calls through it again.]

Francis - “I hope you can both get a nice nap. Make sure you have something to eat and drink first, though, or you'll wake up feeling worse.”

Fang - “You're very thoughtful! See you later, love.”

[Francis retreats, after listening to the muffled sound of Fang reassuring Sunshine and feeding treats to her.]

[Roach is in the galley, now cooking lunch. Francis enters, smiling.]

Roach [busy & brusque] - “It'll be ready in an hour - fuck off out of my way in the meantime. You've had what you needed for now.”

Francis - “Can't I help you with anything?”

Roach [shooing him away] - “No. Vamoose.”

Francis [feigning concern] - “Are you angry with me?”

Roach [exasperated] - “Yes, obviously. Because I'm trying to cook, and you're hanging around being a nuisance. So go away!”

Francis - “I meant… from earlier?”

Roach [baffled] - “When earlier? You weren't in here getting under my feet at breakfast-time. It was great.”

Francis - “OK, OK, I'm going! Fuck's sake, I was only trying to talk with you.”

Roach [shrugs] - “Fine. Talk if you want to. Sit there, stay put, keep out of my way.”

[Roach indicates an empty counter-top, slightly along from where he's working. Francis grins at him, and hops up as instructed. Roach shakes his head, annoyed but amused.]

Roach [returning to his cooking] - “What's on your mind, then? Is this about my comment on your new style? I think it looks good, though - well worth the upkeep. You want to join me and Fang next time we have a 'spa day'?”

Francis [smiling] - “Yeah, that sounds nice. Thanks. You guys are awesome.”

[Roach crosses to the other side of the room to fetch something, and Francis quickly retrieves the poison from his pocket. He tips it into the lunch while Roach's back is turned, then jumps down from the work-surface.]

Roach - “Oi, I told you to stay put!”

[Francis saunters over and stands very close to Roach, who steps away in confusion. Francis follows, backing him up against the edge of the room, then leans in to put a hand on the wall right next to Roach's face.]

Francis [smiling suggestively] - “So… you think it looks cool, huh? And you're not too worried about stubble-burn afterall?”

Roach [shrugs] - “Not my problem, is it? That's between you and your lovers.”

[Francis looks disappointed.]

Roach - “Wait – were you coming on to me?”

Francis - “Uh. Um. No?”

Roach [gently] - “Listen, buddy, I've told you before: if you're not into knives, there's no point flirting with me. We wouldn't be compatible.”

Francis - “Er, OK then… I'll just, ah, just go now.“

Roach - “Yes, good - please let me get on with lunch. Mate, you are being weird today. Go and talk things through with your husband.”

Francis [irritated] - “I've been trying to!”

SCENE 10 - AT THE DARBANVILLE MANSION [AROUND MIDDAY]

[mid-episode song is “Limehouse Blues” by Django Reinhardt]

[In the guest bedroom, Mary finally finishes making copies of all 17 pages, and packs away her writing supplies. The earlier sheets are already dry, but she uses blotting-paper on the last few before stacking them all together. She open up the large pocket inside her skirt, and stows away the original diagrams and the new copies. After checking her hands carefully for any spots of ink, Mary pulls the bedclothes down and rearranges the pillows slightly to make the bed look used. Then she leaves the bedroom and returns to the library.]

[Outside, the hosts and their visitors are making their way back up the long path.]

[In the library, Mary picks the lock to the plan-chest drawer again. She opens it, and very carefully replaces the original diagrams inside.]

[The others approach the house. The maid greets them at the door, and helps the baroness out of her coat.]

Maid - “Mrs Bonnet is back in the library, ma'am.”

Baroness - “Aha, excellent – she must be feeling better! We'll take an early lunch in the West drawing-room.”

[The maid curtsies and leaves. Upstairs in the library, Mary can hear that everyone is back. She quickly re-locks the drawer then sits down at the same small table as earlier, picking up the book about charcoal and opening it at random. She has just settled herself in place when the door opens and the baroness enters.]

Baroness - “Doing better? Jolly good! Come and join us for a spot of light lunch, if you're feeling up to it?”

Mary - “Yes, thank you. Much better! I'm so sorry for abandoning you all like that – I do hope the children weren't too much bother.”

Baroness - “No, no, they're quite charming! My goodness, and so full of questions.”

Mary [laughs] - “They really are! It's exhausting!”

Baroness - “Well, come along and let's fortify ourselves with some refreshments. And then, we're going to discuss your wardrobe… I've got those catalogues to show you!“

[Mary maintains an expression of polite interest as she is led away.]

SCENE 11 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [AROUND MIDDAY]

[Wee John is sat in a hammock ondeck, knitting. He looks up as Francis approaches.]

Wee John - “Hello, handsome! Look at you.”

Francis [sighs] - “Hi. Thanks.”

Wee John - “You haven't seen him, have you?”

Francis - “Who?”

Wee John - “Marmalade-Mittens – he's still hiding, ever since Sunshine was loud. Fair enough, it was quite a surprise. She's normally so chill! Are you doin' alright?”

Francis - “Yeah, I'm fine. Uh. Well, y'know, fine-ish. Not really having a very good day.”

Wee John - “I'm sorry, man. Want to come and sit with me for a bit?”

[Francis nods, and sits down next to Wee John in the hammock.]

Wee John - “I was hoping that if I kept knitting, maybe he'd come out from wherever he's hiding. He loves trying to get at the balls of wool. Little horror!”

[Wee John laughs affectionately. Francis side-eyes him speculatively, considering his next move.]

Francis - “I just went to say hi to Roach. Lunch smells good.”

Wee John - “Always does, yeah – what a legend. I dunno how he manages to do all that, out here at sea. He's some kind of wizard! Oh, speaking of – where's Buttons gone?”

Francis - “Uh, I saw him earlier. He said he needed to go for a rest, and please not to disturb him.”

Wee John [concerned] - “He OK?”

Francis [quickly] - “Yeah, he's fine, don't worry. He doesn't need checking on, just a bit of peace and quiet for a few hours.”

Wee John - “Fair enough. Maybe he's busy meditating about being a seagull.”

[Francis looks completely flummoxed, but Wee John is concentrating on his knitting and doesn't notice.]

Francis - “So… how's your day going?”

Wee John - “Oh, it's fine I guess. I mean, I'm kinda concerned about a few people, but other than that nothing's wrong.”

Francis - “Who're you concerned about?”

Wee John - “Well, it's quite a list. Uh. Fang, because he's freaking out about Sunshine freaking out at you. Poor wee pup.”

[Francis hums in agreement, and waits for Wee John to continue speaking.]

Wee John [sighs] - “I'm really worried about Frenchie. And a little bit worried about Stede and Ed – I just hope they're settling down alright into this next phase of their life together. And I'm also worried about you two, of course. Y'know, after whatever was going on earlier. But I'm sure you'll sort it out.”

[Francis nods, relieved that he has just been able to cross another person off his mental list of 'do I need to pretend that this man is my husband?'. He fishes casually for more information.]

Francis - “Thanks, mate. Yeah, we will, of course. You think we just need to talk about it, then?”

Wee John [nods] - “Yeah, that's the best way to sort out most of this kinda stuff. And Izzy's gonna talk to Frenchie, too.”

[Francis looks sidelong at Wee John, interested.]

Francis - “That's good.”

Wee John - “And Jim as well, I think they're gonna go together.”

Francis - “Yeah… hey, in general though… random question, but - what do you think of Izzy?”

Wee John [still knitting] - “Hmm. Didn't used to be particularly fond of him, of course… but I am now. Very much so. He's like an angry little terrier - fiercely loyal to his people, but bites everyone else!”

[Francis laughs, nods, and says nothing. Wee John continues.]

Wee John - “And he's really hot, obviously. Not that I need to tell you that!”

[He glances up to wink at Francis with a knowing smile.]

Francis [grinning] - “Damn right he is! And now, I'm just off to speak with him. Catch you later.”

Wee John - “He went to check something up at the prow, I think. Let me know if you find Marmalade-Mittens anywhere, won't you?”

[Francis nods, and pats Wee John on the shoulder. Then he wanders off towards the front of the ship.]

[Izzy is just behind the bowsprit, rearranging some ropes. He looks around as Francis emerges through the little door.]

Izzy - “Alright?”

Francis - “Fine, yep. You?”

[Izzy nods, and carries on with what he's doing. Francis closes the small gap between them, and puts a hand on Izzy's arm.]

Francis [softly] - “Hey.”

[Izzy looks up at 'Lucius' like he usually does - with a mixture of irritation, fondness & lust. Francis smiles back at him.]

Francis - “We gonna be OK?”

[Izzy nods again, saying nothing. He gulps slightly then looks away, glancing at the other man's mouth as he does so. Francis smirks in triumph, then reaches out and hooks a finger under Izzy's chin to bring them face-to-face again.]

Francis [purrs] - “Well, look at you – so eager… “

Izzy [breathless but gruff] - “Is that really any surprise to you?”

Francis [grins] - “I suppose not.”

[Francis cups Izzy's chin firmly, tilting his head back. Izzy allows himself to be manhandled, looking up with a small nervous smile. Then Francis leans down and presses a very brief kiss to Izzy's lips. He draws back and looks at Izzy with faked fondness.]

Izzy [sounding unsure] - “Well, that was, uh. Unexpected.”

Francis [suddenly doubting his latest conclusions] - “What? How so?”

Izzy - “I just mean that after months of your very direct flirting, I didn't think it would be today that you'd kiss me.”

Francis [hiding his panic] - “What's wrong with today?”

Izzy [stepping back, annoyed] - “For fuck's sake, Spriggs! What's going on with you, huh? This is incredibly weird timing, obviously.”

[Francis looks at Izzy with a raised eyebrow, prompting him to continue.]

Izzy - “I know that you and Pete have an open marriage, or other partners, or whatever you want to call it. Seems to work out fine – good, I'm happy for you all. But finally making a move on me, today, just after you two had some kind of row? That doesn't seem like a happy, healthy version of this kind of… complicated situation. Seems more like jumping on someone else in retaliation against your husband because you're pissed off with him. And I don't want to play any role in those kinds of games.”

Francis - “Wait, Izzy, it's not like that.”

Izzy [backing away further] - “Ha! Really? It sure didn't feel like you were actually interested. Just leave me be for a bit, alright? Need to get my head round all this… ”

[Izzy hastily retreats from the prow, leaving Francis alone. Francis kicks the little door closed behind him, angrily. Izzy jolts at the noise as it slams, and hurries away looking shaken.]

SCENE 12- IN TORTUGA [ON MINGHUI'S SHIP, AROUND MIDDAY]

[Minghui arrived in Tortuga a few days ago, Jackie got there yesterday, and Auntie (on Jackie's ship) has only just returned earlier today.]

[Zheng, Auntie, Minghui & Jackie are gathered in the captain's quarters. Minghui is showing the others how she and her crew amplified the range of the whistle, during their recent search-and-rescue mission.]

Minghui [pointing to parts of the contraption] - “And using the bellows, plus the sack, means that nobody hyperventilates trying to keep up a constant message. So, yeah. Seemed to work pretty well. Might be worth refining the design a bit, and making it part of each ship's standard equipment?”

Zheng - “Absolutely. Nice one! And you estimate this increased the range by… ?”

Minghui - “Hard to say exactly, but at least four times the distance. Possibly a bit more. Hence why I'm not actually going to actually demonstrate it in here – would be pretty deafening!”

Auntie - “Yeah, please don't! Very interesting, though – we'll have to do some tests outside, and get to grips with the capabilities of this new system… Good work.”

Jackie [looking at the bellows] - “I like it. Reminds me of a Scottish instrument which Mr Buttons tried to play inside my bar one time. Only that one time – it was far too loud for indoors… “

Auntie [winces] - “I can imagine! And with the low ceilings and stone walls in there, the sound would really reverberate.”

Jackie - “Damn right it did! Reverberated away all of Jackie's patience. But I made him stop quick, before it scared off my customers… “

[She sighs.]

Zheng - “Are you missing your bar?”

Jackie - “Yeah. It was a bit of a dive, but… I was pretty fond of it. Had built it up from nothing, to become a damn fine hub for connections and information. And for violence and mayhem too, of course!”

Auntie [nods] - “Of course. That all goes hand-in-hand, dealing with hoards of pirates.”

Jackie - “I'd like to go back there. Fuckin hate it that Ricky managed to drive me out! We saw him off eventually, though.”

[She & Zheng smile at each other, satisfied.]

Jackie - “And the plan was that Bill would gather up the rest of our folks who were still around, and jump in on the action later that evening. Hopefully that went through alright, and they finished taking the town back. I should go and check in, though.”

Auntie - “Your husbands were speaking fondly of the old place too – sounds like they'd be happy to return as well.”

Jackie [nods] - “Now that you're all back here, I'm gonna take the ship and the lads home. But I've got some errands to run, on the way there… “

Zheng - “Anything we can help with?”

Jackie [grins] - “Thanks – was hoping you'd ask. Yeah. I'm gonna need more ships, just briefly. Would it be possible to borrow, say, three of yours, for a week or so?”

Zheng - “Sure thing. Even with a couple of dozen still being repaired, we've got plenty of seaworthy vessels. The recovery of the fleet is going well.”

Minghui [to Zheng] - “I'd be happy to go, if there's nothing specific that you want me to stay here for?”

Zheng - “Great – yes, do that. Could you also ask around the other captains, and coordinate with a couple of them?”

[Minghui nods, then turns to Jackie.]

Minghui - “What do we need to know about the mission? Any special preparations needed?”

Jackie - “Fuck-loads of spare rope, is mainly what we'll need. Each ship will have one enormous and very heavy piece of cargo to secure ondeck. Won't fit through down to the hold.”

Minghui - “OK, will do. Lots of rope, that's no problem. And we'd better take extra ballast, to prevent the vessels from becoming top-heavy.”

Jackie [grins] - “Oh, that won't be necessary. We'll be picking up a lot of stuff that'll go down to the hold as well… ”

Zheng - “This sounds intriguing!”

Jackie - “It's something I've been thinking about for a good long while. And I've saved up enough to make it happen, and the time is right. Well, fuck it, an even better time would have been before bloody Ricky arrived and made himself comfy there… “

Zheng - “Insidious little prick. Ha - but we'll be giving him an insidious little prick soon, I hope… “

Jackie [coldly furious] - “Nassau is my home, and he took it from me. Never again. I'm gonna make that place fuckin impenetrable.”

Zheng - “Good. Anything you need, let me know and I'll help in whatever way I can. Ships, funds, crews – just name it. Me and my fleet owe you a lot of lives, and we won't forget that.”

Jackie - “Cheers, queen. A few ships for a few days should do it, though – Jackie has the rest under control. Been working on this plan for years.”

SCENE 13 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [AROUND MIDDAY]

[Pete is sat quietly near the back of the ship, whittling something. Izzy approaches, agitated, and Pete looks at him with concern.]

Pete - “What's wrong, man?”

Izzy [flustered] - “I think I might have upset Lucius.”

Pete [sadly] - “Same.”

Izzy - “Earlier today?”

Pete [miserably] - “Months ago, actually. Just before we got engaged. I was trying to help him get over stuff, and instead I made it worse. Made it so he couldn't talk to me when he's feeling sad. Didn't mean it to go like that, but I fucked up.”

Izzy - “I'm sure he knows you didn't intend to.”

Pete - “Yeah. I hope so. I'm just making him a little present, to say sorry.”

[He holds up a half-finished carving of a sleeping cat.]

Izzy [nods] - “Cute. Oh – look out for the real one, yeah? Seems he's still hiding.”

Pete - “Sure, will do.”

[Izzy pauses, looking uncomfortable.]

Pete - “Wait, why d'you think you've upset Lucius?”

Izzy [awkwardly] - “He, uh. He just… kissed me.”

Pete [face lighting up] - “Dude, that's awesome!”

Izzy - “It is? You're actually fine with that? Really?”

Pete [enthusiastically] - “Of course! He's liked you for ages!”

Izzy [mumbles] - “He wasn't very keen. Didn't seem like he was doin' something he really wanted to do.”

Pete - “Well, I bet he was just nervous.”

Izzy - “What?! Is he ever nervous about that kind of thing?”

Pete - “Yeah, of course. Sometimes he's super-cocky to cover up feeling insecure. He always seems really confident, yeah, but he can actually be quite shy sometimes.”

Izzy [disbelieving] - “Shy? Shy?! I found you two goin' at it, barely hidden behind a barrel, that time in the store-room.”

Pete [laughs] - “I said sometimes shy, not always. Obviously that was not one of those times… ”

[Izzy laughs gruffly and shakes his head.]

Pete - “I'll go check on him. Don't worry, man – he's not just toying, he's genuinely into you.”

Izzy [embarrassed] - “OK, cheers… “

[Pete hurries away, looking for 'Lucius'. He finds Francis in the hold, next to the trunk where the real Lucius is imprisoned.]

Pete [delighted] - “Babe! You kissed Izzy! Finally!”

[Francis smiles uncertainly.]

Pete - “He was worried he'd upset you. Did it not go well? But if that's the case, I'm sure you guys can work it out on the second attempt!”

[There is a quiet scratching noise. Pete looks around.]

Pete - “Oh – did you hear that?”

Francis [hurriedly] - “No, I didn't hear anything. Apart from the usual sounds of the ship, of course – that's always quite noisy. Hey, can we go and have a look for Izzy, he was worried you'd be angry about me kissing him, we should go and talk to him and-”

Pete [interrupting] - “Yeah, in a minute love, of course we can. But listen – there!”

[The scratching noise is faint but distinct.]

Pete [calling] - “Marmalade-Mittens! Come out, sweetie, it's OK… where are you? Hey kitty kitty kitty… do you want to come out, and I'll find you some nice dindins?”

Francis - “He's not in here, I've just been looking for him. Come on, let's go.”

Pete - “Babe, he might be stuck somewhere! We have to find him! Izzy will be OK for a couple of minutes, he's a tough guy. Poor little Marmalade-Mittens isn't so tough, though! Sssh, listen -”

[Pete holds a finger up gently as Francis is about to speak again. The scratching noise gets louder. Pete looks at the trunk.]

Pete - “Oh my god, I think he's inside there!”

Francis - “Wait, no, you're right, there was a noise – but, it's coming from the corridor, we should go and look there.”

Pete [kneeling down beside the trunk] - “No, it came from in here, I'm sure of it. Marmalade-Mittens? How did you end up in there, you silly kitten? Don't worry, though, I'll get you out… “

[Francis sits down on top of the trunk.]

Francis - “Oh my god, babe, he's not in there. Listen! I can hear it too, and it's coming from a completely different direction. Do you need you ears cleaned out or something?”

Pete [confused & hurt] - “Why don't you want me to open the trunk?”

Francis [sighs] - “Because I've hidden a present for you in there, and I want it to be a surprise. Please don't look, love, you'll spoil it.”

Pete - “Oh! Babe, that's so sweet. OK, I'll face the other way while you open it and check for Marmalade-Mittens. And if he's scratched my present up a bit, don't worry, it'll just add character!”

[Pete turns around so his back is to the trunk. Francis does nothing.]

Pete [listening intently] - “Go on, then.”

[Francis reluctantly puts the key in the lock and turns it. He opens the lid a fraction then closes it again immediately.]

Francis - “He's not in there.”

Pete - “You can't have looked properly, that was like one second.”

[mid-episode song is Razor Dance by Richard Thompson]

[Francis sighs, and opens the lid again. He reaches in and grabs Lucius by the throat to try and keep him quiet, but Lucius gasps around his gag. Pete hears the distinctly un-kitten-like sound and spins around in surprise. His face is a picture of utter astonishment as he looks backwards and forwards between Lucius & Francis.]

[Pete lunges at Francis, pulling him away from Lucius. Lucius tries to sit up, but he is still securely-tied and half-conscious. Francis struggles with Pete, each of them punching, kicking & scratching the other. Pete head-butts Francis in the face, and gains the upper hand for a moment.]

Pete [gasping] - “Francis Spriggs, I presume?”

Francis [snarling] - “Well, who the fuck else would I be? You fucking idiot.”

Pete - “I didn't know you're twins! Just that he has a brother he doesn't have anything to do with. And I can see why, you're horrible.”

Francis [sarcastic] - “Oh, my feeling are so hurt.”

[Lucius manages to sit up in the trunk, looking dizzy and terrified. Francis gets an arm around Pete's throat, and starts choking him.]

Francis [to Lucius] - “Lie back down in there, now, or I will strangle your husband. Do it!”

[Eyes filling with tears, Lucius obeys. Francis does not relax his grip on Pete, but Pete manages to bite him and he lets go for a second. But then Francis uses his height advantage to push Pete over, then sits down heavily on his back.]

Pete [winded] - “Lucius! Babe! Are you alright?”

[In the trunk, Lucius struggles against his bonds, but without success. While keeping Pete immobilised by pinning him down with his legs, Francis retrieves a handkerchief and a small vial from his pockets. He tips a few drops onto the cloth, and clamps it over Pete's nose & mouth. Pete struggles for a few more seconds, and then goes slack. Francis leaps up, and forces the cloth against his brother's face too. Lucius collapses back into a heap at the bottom of the trunk, and Francis slams the lid closed and locks it.]

[Francis grabs hold of the now-unconscious Pete, and hauls him up onto the top of the trunk. He arranges Pete to lie on his back, with his knees bent and his feet resting on the floor at the end. He puts a folded blanket under his head, to make it look like he's just having a nap. Then he securely ties Pete's hands and feet together, and tucks another blanket around him to hide the ropes. Satisfied, Francis leaves the room, and goes along the corridor to check on the galley. He sees that the poisoned lunch has not been served yet, and looks irritated & impatient. Taking a few deep breaths, Francis tries to reassert his persona as Lucius. He smiles to himself unconvincingly.]

SCENE 14- IN TORTUGA [AROUND LUNCHTIME, AT THE DOCKS]

[Jackie is back on her own ship, which is being hastily resupplied for a quick turnaround. She is standing ondeck, overseeing this operation and catching up with some of her husbands.]

[The Swede appears, and gives Jackie a sandwich & an adoring smile.]

Jackie - “Thanks, boo-cakes. That looks tasty.”

Swede - “Roach taught me how to make them!”

[She gives him a kiss on the cheek, sits down on a barrel, then gestures for him to join her and share the sandwich. He complies happily.]

Swede - “I missed you, and we all missed you, it was very sad. But, it's so awesome that you went and kicked Ricky out of our old place! Where are we all going now?”

Jackie - “Going home, pet. But first – a little shopping trip.”

Swede - “Oooh! That sounds really fun! What are we getting?”

Jackie - “Fuckin massive cannons.”

Swede - “For the ship?”

Jackie - “Nope. Too big for the ship. These are gonna be for the fort.”

Swede [confused] - “What fort?”

Jackie [grins] - “The one I'm gonna have built.”

Swede - “Ooh, wow! I did not see that coming, at all!”

[Jing approaches along the dock, and crosses the gangplank onto Jackie's ship.]

Jing - “Hi, Jackie. Minghui sent me to let you know that our ship will be ready to sail within half an hour. Likewise for the other two that'll be joining our mission.”

Jackie - “Excellent. We're pretty much sorted here as well. The captains have the coordinates that I gave you?”

Jing [nods] - “Yes, all set.”

Jackie - “Alrighty then. Let's go! Ugh, I just hope we can manage to get these damn huge cannons onto the ships alright, and then off again at the other end… not to mention up the bloody hill when we get there.”

Jing [smiles] - “You don't need to worry about that – our crews have a lot of experience moving heavy objects across land… “

Jackie - “Oh? What did you move?”

Jing [laughs] - “Our ships!”

Jackie [surprised] - “Fuckin hell, what?! Where? And why?!”

Jing - “Zheng was looking into various options for expanding her domain - so we were doing a bit of exploration on our way over here. We'd been heading up the Siberian coast, then down the West side of the Americas. But if you keep going South from there, you end up going around Cape Horn, where you'll most likely get shipwrecked.”

Jackie - “Yeah, I've heard sailors talking about that place. Sounds best avoided!”

Jing - “Exactly! So that's what we did. Zheng had the fleet stop at a point where the landmass is pretty narrow, then sent some scouts across on foot to check the distance and terrain.”

Jackie - “And then?”

Jing - “We took one ship across the land first, to check it was feasible. Reported back that it was, and so then the rest followed. A few at a time – Zheng was already in Nassau, gathering intel on the power structures around here, while the rest of the fleet made our way across. It took ages!”

Jackie - “I'll bet it did! Fuck, wow – that's impressive… “

Jing [grinning] - “So, like I said, don't worry about getting your cannons up the hill!”

Jackie [laughs] - “I won't worry, no!”

[They finish checking details for the upcoming trip, then Jing returns to Minghui's ship. She passes Zheng, and they bid each other farewell and good wishes. Zheng continues on to the dockside by Jackie's ship, and calls across to her.]

Zheng - “Hey, all going good?”

Jackie - “All good, queen! Cheers. We'll be off shortly.”

Zheng - “Take care. And see you soon, I hope!”

Jackie - “Yeah, of course – see you soon. Come over to Nassau sometime? And I've got a taste for being on the ship more, now – I won't be staying put as much as I was before. I'll send you a message with Jing, when your ships return here soon, to let you know what my plans are. And good wishes with yours, in the meantime!”

Zheng [sighs] - “I'll need it – he's been bloody lucky so far. But now… while you're off getting kitted out, I'm doing the same here. On a rather different scale.”

Jackie - “There's a time for brute force, and a time for subtlety. And we can keep taking it in turns - trying one or the other, or sometimes a combination of both - until we get him. We will get him.”

Zheng - “We will, yes. Eventually. But first - good wishes with securing your home.”

Jackie - “Thanks again for the assistance!”

Zheng - “You're very welcome. Bye for now!”

[They give each other a smile and a cheeky little salute, then Zheng heads back up into the town. She arrives at Bob's door, and knocks. After a minute, he opens it and invites her in. They go through to sit on comfortable chairs in his cosy, cluttered office.]

Bob [smiling] - “Nice to see you again, queen.”

Zheng [laughs] - “You know you don't have to call me that, right?”

Bob - “Well, if you tried to insist that I did, I certainly wouldn't! Titles should be earned, not demanded.”

Zheng - “Fair enough. The hierarchy of this place must be… pretty interesting?”

Bob - “Indeed. Extremely complex, extremely changeable. It keeps my mind young, though, constantly staying on top of what's happening!”

Zheng [nods] - “So I can see! Anyway… what did your contact think of my request?”

Bob - “They think it's doable, yes. I can bring you to them now, to discuss in more detail, if you like?”

Zheng - “That would be perfect – thank you.”

SCENE 15 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [LUNCHTIME]

[On the stairs, Francis meets Izzy coming the other way, and realises he may have been seen exiting the hold. Izzy does a double-take at him, alarmed.]

Izzy - “The fuck's wrong with you? You look like you've been in a fight.”

Francis - “I, um… I tripped.”

Izzy [horrified] - “No you didn't - you're really fuckin graceful. Tell me what happened!”

Francis - “OK, I will. But don't judge, please.”

[Izzy nods, very concerned.]

Francis - “So, I told Pete I kissed you… “

[Izzy looks at the bruises forming, open-mouthed in surprise and horror.]

Francis - “No, no, it's not like that – he just thought it was really hot. So, then we had some absolutely unhinged lovemaking, and both got a bit messed up. We like it rough, sometimes!”

Izzy [pretending to believe him] - “What a relief. OK, fine, if that's what you two enjoy, then fair enough. Right. I'm just gonna sneak a little bit of lunch early, I'm bloody famished.”

Francis [pretending to fall for it] - “Sure, enjoy. Look out for Roach!”

[mid-episode song is “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd]

[Izzy laughs, nods, and walks towards the galley. He listens as Francis goes off up the stairs, then quickly backtracks and enters the hold instead. Izzy finds Pete lying on a trunk, and shakes his shoulder.]

Izzy - “Hey - wake up and explain what the fuck is going on with you two!”

[Pete doesn't wake. Izzy pulls the blanket back, and sees the ropes.]

Izzy [alarmed] - “Well, that looks more businesslike than kinky… Pete! Wake up!”

[Francis slips silently into the room behind him, having returned immediately after Izzy thought he had gone away. He holds a poison-speckled handkerchief in his hand as he creeps closer.]

[Izzy starts undoing Pete's bonds. Francis grabs Izzy from behind, wrenching his head back roughly and shoving the handkerchief across his face. Izzy struggles, and manages to get free, but he is already losing consciousness. He tries to fight, but his arms move sluggishly - he tries to shout, but can't draw enough breath to do so. Gasping, he staggers sideways.]

Izzy [slurring] - “You're not Lucius… “

Francis [giggling] - “Took you long enough! Fucking hell, and Ricky told me you were the brains of the outfit… “

Izzy [growling angrily as he collapses] - “That's a fuckin lie anyway… ”

Francis - “Mind you, he also told me that you were dead – so, clearly he wasn't in possession of all the facts.”

Izzy [struggling for breath] - “He… fuckin… wishes… “

Francis [with mock concern] - “Oh, Izzy, are you alright? You seem a little out-of-sorts.”

[Izzy snarls up at him, not managing to form coherent words anymore. Francis kneels down and holds the handkerchief over Izzy's nose & mouth again, laughing at him as he passes out.]

Francis [smiling] - “Nighty-night, Izzy… I'm going to enjoy cutting you to pieces.”

[Francis smirks at his unconscious prisoners, then arranges Izzy as though he's lying down for a nap on the floor. Like he did with Pete, Francis binds Izzy's hands & feet, then mostly covers him with a blanket. He also checks on Buttons, who is still firmly unconscious underneath the heap of empty sacks.]

[In the galley, Roach is serving up portions of lunch. Archie & Stede are loading the plates onto large trays.]

Stede - “Lucius, would you like to come up and eat ondeck with us all? It's such a lovely day for – oh, good lord! What's happened to your face?!”

Francis [leering] - “Honey, you do not want to know.”

Stede [concerned] - “Of course I want to know! Here, sit down, I'll fetch the first-aid kit.”

Francis [feigning exasperation] - “Oh my god, Stede, you're so melodramatic!”

Stede - “Well, sometimes, maybe. But, just look at you! You're hurt! Roach, what do you think?”

Roach [winks at Francis] - “You look pretty happy about it… have you and Pete reconciled, huh? And then maybe celebrated a little too enthusiastically?”

[Francis nods and smirks. Stede looks baffled.]

Archie [grinning] - “Hey - nice one, you guys.”

[Francis puts an arm around Stede's shoulders.]

Francis [patronisingly] - “When you're a bit older, I'll need to have a little chat with you about the birds and the bees… “

Stede [astonished] - “You mean you got like this from doing sex? Really?!”

Francis [smug] - “Hell yeah, baby.”

[Stede looks both concerned and embarrassed. Roach laughs gently.]

Roach [shrugs] - “Pretty tame, compared to some… hey, it's all good, so long as everyone is happy and at least reasonably careful.”

Stede [unsure] - “Alrighty, then… You sure you don't need a salve on some of that, though?”

Francis - “Don't fuss, Stede. Hey, Roach, can I take a couple of plates through to the hold? Me and Pete just want to have a bit of calm time together.”

Roach - “Sure - go ahead.”

[Francis leaves the galley with two plates, and goes into the empty corridor.]

Francis [speaking to nobody] - “Oh, hey Izzy. They're taking the lunch stuff up ondeck in a minute – oh fuck, are you alright? You look terrible. Go and lie down – I'll bring you some ginger tea.”

[Francis returns to the galley, puts his plates down, and fills a mug.]

Francis - “Be back for those in just a moment… “

Roach [concerned] - “He's feeling poorly? But, the ship's pretty steady at the moment!”

Francis - “I know – weird, right?! Poor guy.”

[He takes the ginger tea along the corridor to Izzy's cabin, enters, and speaks loudly.]

Francis - “I'll just put this down here for you… “

Francis [imitating Izzy's gruff voice] - “Cheers – now fuck off.”

Francis [as Lucius] - “You need anything else?”

Francis [imitating Izzy again] - “Just some fuckin peace and quiet.”

Francis [as Lucius] - “You sure?”

Francis [as Izzy, now sounding angry] - “Don't fuss. Go away, you twat.”

[Francis leaves the mug in Izzy's cabin, then returns to the galley.]

Francis - “Wow, he's in a bad mood. Says not to fuss, and to leave him the fuck alone.”

Roach [nods] - “OK. I'll go check on him in a couple of hours, make sure he's alright.”

Francis [smiling] - “I'm sure he'll appreciate that, once he's feeling a little better. Super-grumpy right now!”

[Francis picks the plates up and goes through to the hold. He abandons the poisoned food in a corner of the room - then sits leaning against the closed door, waiting. In the galley, Roach finishes serving lunch, then Archie & Stede help carry the trays up ondeck. The rest of the crew have gathered around - they eat enthusiastically, complimenting Roach on the meal. One plate remains on the trays.]

Roach [scanning the group] - “Where's Buttons got to?”

Wee John - “Lucius said he'd gone for a rest, earlier.”

Roach - “Oh shit. Izzy's under the weather too. D'you think there's something going round?”

Wee John - “Nah, didn't sound like he was feeling ill as such. Just wanted some quiet time. Y'know what he's like, bless him - spooky and peculiar… “

[Roach laughs, nods, and carries on eating his own portion.]

Roach - “Well, I'll do the rounds in a little while, check on him as well as Izzy. And look in on Fang and Sunshine too. What a day!”

[He blinks, and looks around, trying to clear his vision.]

Roach - “Actually, I'm feeling a little off as well… oh… oh my god, am I drunk?!… It's all spinning… Oh shit!”

[He giggles uncontrollably, then collapses. Around the deck, everyone else is also losing consciousness. Frenchie gasps for air and clutches at his throat. Oluwande tries to help him, but falls and doesn't get back up. Archie is intently watching something imaginary in the sky, then keels over backwards without seeming to notice. Ed & Stede hold onto each other desperately, with matching expression of fear and dismay.]

[Footsteps approach, coming up onto the deck. Francis stands triumphantly at the top of the stairs, surveying his prisoners.]

Francis [pouting] - “Oh, what a pity… you're all having such a bad time, and it's only going to get worse from here… “

Stede [slurring as he struggles to stay conscious] - “Lucius… what… the… fuck … “

Francis [sighs] - “No, my dear, not Lucius. I'm his brother - Francis Spriggs, at your service.”

[Ed's eyes widen in horror. Francis bows sarcastically to him & Stede, as they lose their battle with the poison and slip into a drugged sleep.]

[Jim manages to stand back up briefly, and staggers towards Francis - but then they misjudge where the edge of a cannon is, trip over, and lie still on the deck. Wee John watches, aghast, then slumps back in his hammock deeply asleep.]

[With the crew unconscious, Francis quickly works his way around them all, binding everyones' limbs firmly. He also ties each person to the nearest mast / bannister / railing. Then he goes belowdecks to retrieve Pete, Buttons & Izzy. He drags them up the stairs one at a time, and ties them in place alongside their crewmates. He leaves Lucius trapped inside the trunk in the hold, and locks the door to the store-room where Fang & Sunshine are both passed out. Then he wanders around the ship for a while, seemingly bored, waiting for his captives to wake up.]

SCENE 16 – RICKY'S NEW HQ, IN CHARLESTON [LUNCHTIME]

[Ricky is sat comfortably in the stately dining room of a palatial townhouse, surveying an elaborate meal. Hornigold enters.]

Hornigold - “You needed to see me?”

Ricky - “Indeed, my dear Captain. Would you care to join me for a spot of luncheon?”

[Hornigold shrugs, and sits down. The butler serves him an elegantly arranged plate of food.]

Ricky - “Isn't this all rather nice?”

Hornigold [unimpressed] - “I don't see the point in these tiny fiddly bits of stuff. Not gonna fill anyone up.”

Ricky [sighs] - “How foolish of me, to expect you to make any kind of effort to appear cultured.”

Hornigold [amused] - “Never claimed to be fuckin cultured… sir.”

[Ricky gestures around the room they're sitting in. It is bright and airy, with high ceilings and enormous windows. The long elegant curtains are neatly pulled back, giving a view overlooking the harbour.]

Ricky - “Well, can you at least appreciate the surroundings? A far cry from that disgusting hovel we were stuck in previously… “

Hornigold [smirking] - “You seemed to like it rather a lot, before. Don't you miss it?”

Ricky - “Not in the slightest - it was high time to move on.”

Hornigold - “You say that as though it was your decision to abandon the place.”

Ricky [coldly] - “It did not suit my requirements.”

Hornigold - “Hmm. Were your requirements 'somewhere that is not routinely invaded by your sworn enemies, slaughtering dozens of your men each time'? Because, yeah. They made a right arse of you, sir. Jackie, then Zheng's crew, then Zheng herself plus Jackie again, then followed by the fuckin rabble who live around there. Wiped the floor with us.”

[Ricky glares at him.]

Hornigold - “Thought it was exciting, or some such, didn't ya? You wanted danger and adventure? But ooh no – it got a bit too authentic. You found out that danger can sometimes be… what a surprise… dangerous. How unexpected.”

Ricky [scowling] - “Ah, how blessed I am to have such consistency. You remain as objectionable as ever, no matter the setting.”

Hornigold [shrugs] - “I'm not here to keep you entertained with pretty chatter. I'm here to assist you in capturing Blackbeard and Bonnet.”

Ricky - “And that's going so well. Perhaps you'd better work on your conversational skills, Captain, if you wish to continue to be of use to me.”

Hornigold - “I know men like you. Think you're better than the rest of us – and you enjoy feeling that way. You have great fun talking to someone like me, who you can smugly judge and look down your nose at. Ha! So to speak.”

Ricky - “Hilarious.”

Hornigold - “You like kidding yourself that you're some kind of an adventurer. But you don't want any of the peril or discomfort that comes with it. That's hilarious.”

Ricky - “I grow weary of your company, Captain. If you find the meal so unsatisfactory, perhaps it would be best for you to excuse yourself?”

Hornigold [getting up to leave] - “Gladly.”

SCENE 17 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [MID AFTERNOON]

[Buttons is the first to regain consciousness. He blinks owlishly at Francis, and speaks softly.]

Buttons - “Yer no' a ghost, then… “

[Francis grins at him, unsettlingly.]

Buttons - “An' yer no' our Lucius, either.”

Francis - “Well done. You worked it out. Congratulations.”

[Buttons looks around at his incapacitated crewmates, and sighs.]

Buttons - “Would there be any point in askin' ye nicely, not to do whatever it is yer plannin'?”

Francis - “None whatsoever.”

Buttons - “Aye, ah thought as much.”

[He rests his head back against the side of the ship, sighs softly, and closes his eyes again.]

Francis [smiling] - “We'll see how stoic you remain, soon. Aren't you going to beg for your lives?”

Buttons [opens one eye briefly] - “Sure ah will, gladly, if that'd do us any good.”

Francis [merrily] - “It won't.”

Buttons [shrugs] - “Ah wilnae bother, then.”

[Next to him, Pete stirs, then jolts awake with a yell.]

Pete - “Lucius!”

Francis [giggles] - “I'm not Lucius - are you fucking stupid? Did I knock you out too hard?”

Pete - “I know you're not him! Where is he? What have you done to him?!”

Francis [amused] - “He's exactly where he was when you last saw him. And he's not badly hurt – yet. He can stay that way, if you like – it's up to you… “

[Pete looks worried.]

Francis [insincere] - “You seem to really love him… so sweet… “

Pete - “Of course I love him! That's bloody obvious! You're not clever for working it out!”

Francis - “You're awfully cocky, for a guy who's just been outwitted, beaten up, knocked out, and tied up… “

Pete [warily] - “What did you mean, about saying I could choose what happens to Lucius?”

Francis - “People in love are so sickening. Aren't you going to ask what my plans are for you? Or for the rest of this pathetic bunch?”

[Pete glares at hims sullenly.]

Francis - “And aren't you going to ask where that leather-clad Santa-Claus is?”

Pete [mumbles] - “I was hoping he'd hidden somewhere and was gonna jump out… “

Francis - “No such luck, I'm afraid. He and that damn mutt are thoroughly drugged, down belowdecks.”

Pete [scared] - “And… what're you gonna do to them?”

Francis [gleeful] - “That's an excellent question! And I shall explain, once the others have all woken too – I don't like having to repeat myself… ”

[Francis strolls around the deck in a leisurely manner, kicking the rest of the crew in an attempt to wake them up. People start coming round.]

[Stede slowly regains consciousness. Francis squeals with delight, and crouches down in front of him.]

Francis - “Hello there, Bonnet. I'm so glad to meet you properly… “

Stede [ignoring him] - “Ed! Edward, are you alright? Can you hear me?”

[Ed mumbles in his sleep, then wakes with a start when Francis slaps him across the face.]

Stede [livid] - “Leave him alone!”

Francis [sighs] - “This is almost too easy. How thick are you, Bonnet? My objective here is to cause you as much suffering as possible. Giving your boyfriend a little slap is absolutely nothing.”

Stede [curtly] - “My fiancé, actually.”

Ed [mumbling] - “That's probably not helping, love.”

Stede [happily] - “Edward!”

[Ed blinks at him, with a small forlorn smile.]

Stede [less happily] - “Edward… “

Ed - “Yeah, here we are again… “

Francis - “And this time, you'll have no lucky escape.”

[He goes over to Izzy, who is the last to wake. Francis grabs the smaller man by the shoulders, and shakes him roughly.]

Stede [angrily] - “Stop that!”

[Francis laughs, pulls out a dagger, and strokes Izzy's face with it.]

Francis [sing-song] - “Wake up, Izzy… “

Jim - “Leave him the fuck alone!”

[Francis pouts at Jim playfully, then cradles Izzy's jaw almost tenderly. Shifting his grip to be more firm, he starts carving another 'x' onto Izzy's cheek, just below his tattoo. Several of the crew scream at him to stop, but he merrily ignores them. Francis has only cut one of the diagonal lines, when Izzy wakes with a pained yell. Francis sits back, and pats Izzy on the other cheek, laughing. Izzy gasps for breath, as blood trickles down and soaks his beard.]

Francis - “Well, now that we're all here… “

Izzy [snarling] - “I will fuckin kill you.”

Francis - “Will you, hmm? Are you in a great position to be making threats? Anyway. Listen up, gentlemen.”

[He pauses, and turns to Archie, giving a sardonic wave.]

Francis - “And lady, of course… “

Archie - “Fuck off, you prick! Think you're so suave, do ya? Fuckin try-hard.”

Francis [looking questioningly at Jim] - “And… ?”

Jim [smiles coldly] - “You may address me as 'the future murderer of Francis Spriggs', thanks.”

Francis [delightedly] - “You're all fucking insane, aren't you? Don't you realise what's happening here? Do you not see who's in control?”

Frenchie [flatly] - “Hey. I'm the captain, come and talk to me. I can see we're in no position to make demands – so, I'll give you anything you want, in return for the safety of all souls aboard this vessel.”

Francis [insincere] - “Terribly sorry to disappoint you, captain, but what I want is not compatible with those terms.”

Frenchie - “What do you want, then? We have assets hidden elsewhere. We have a lot of connections. Tell me whatever I need to arrange, to strike a bargain with you, and I'll do it.”

Francis - “What I want, is for Stede Bonnet to suffer terribly - as punishment for ending the life of the greatest man to ever sail these seas.”

Stede [surprised] - “You were Ned Low's friend?”

Francis [with tears in the eyes] - “I was his second-in-command, when we sailed together. And you will regret killing him. You will regret ever meeting all of these people. Most of all, you will regret falling in love… “

[Stede looks terrified, and shuffles closer against Ed protectively.]

[Belowdecks – ]

[mid-episode song is “Eye Of The Tiger” by Survivor, playing during sections with the kitten & Lucius]

[Marmalade-Mittens finally emerges from where he was hiding, under Izzy's bunk. He pads along the corridor, sniffing at everything carefully. Outside the store-room, he snuffles at the tiny gap underneath the door. It's only big enough to stick one paw through – the kitten mewls pitifully and scratches at the door, but Fang & Sunshine are still deeply asleep and do not respond. Giving up, Marmalade-Mittens continues his investigations and wanders in the direction on the hold. That door is ajar, and he slips inside. His ears prick up. He approaches the trunk in which Lucius is imprisoned, and listens carefully. Lucius is only breathing very softly, but it's enough for feline ears to detect. The kitten mewls loudly, and scratches at the side of the trunk. When this gets no reaction, he backs away, then runs towards the trunk and flings himself at the side. Lucius, still mostly unconscious, hears the small thump and shifts around slightly. Encouraged by hearing this, Marmalade-Mittens runs into the trunk a couple more times, then resumes scratching the sides and yowling. Lucius wakes up, trapped and terrified. He mumbles incoherently through his gag - this is enough to please the kitten, who starts nuzzling against the trunk and purring loudly. Inside, Lucius tries not to panic.]

[Ondeck -]

Ed [to Francis] - “Fuck, man. I've sailed with dozens of guys named Spriggs – didn't have any idea this one was related to the Spriggs. I wish you had a more distinctive look, ya know? Then I'd have seen who you were. Hadn't ever met Ned in person either, till he just fuckin showed up here suddenly that time – but he was easy to recognise! I'd heard the description, you see: 'smug prick wearing a sparkly silver suit, playing a sparkly silver violin' – not exactly subtle, was he?”

Francis - “Don't bother trying to redirect my wrath away from your lover - “

Stede [primly] - “Fiancé.”

Francis [rolling his eyes] - “ - from your darling fiancé, then. It won't work – and even if it did, it wouldn't do either of you any good. The outcome for you both is the same, whichever way around.”

[He laughs mirthlessly, then steps back and address everyone assembled.]

Francis - “Shut up and listen up, people. Most of you are about to die slow and extremely painful deaths. And you have my sincere apologies for that – I've nothing against you personally, but you have the terrible misfortune of mattering to someone whom I wish to punish.”

Stede - “Well, you're mistaken there. I don't actually like these people very much. They don't matter to me, except for being useful to sail the ship.”

Francis [wryly] - “Nice try, Bonnet. You seemed quite bothered when I laid a hand, ha, on that one.”

[He gestures towards Izzy.]

Francis - “Let's see how you react when I start chopping him into tiny little pieces… “

[Stede stares at Francis with open-mouthed horror. The others are more subdued in their responses - apart from Izzy, who bursts out laughing.]

Izzy - “Wow, lad, you're really fuckin messed-up. Is this why you didn't kill us already? I hate to say it - but you had ample opportunity, while we were all unconscious.”

Francis - “Glad you understand. Yes, precisely – ending your lives then wouldn't serve my purposes at all. You need to suffer first, to make it worse for Bonnet to watch.”

Buttons [quietly] - “And ye think that'll bring ye peace?”

Francis [spits] - “No - I don't think so. But I don't want peace, I want vengeance. So here's what's going to happen. Pete, my dear brother-in law - yourself and Fang will help me sail this ship to Carolina.”

Ed [interrupting] - “Yeah, that's kinda… where we were already heading, mate.”

Francis - “What?! Why??”

Ed [laughing] - “We were off over that way to spy on Ricky, because we already knew he's gone to Charleston. So, if you'd just fuckin waited, things might've gone a bit better for ya.”

Francis [furious] - “Shut the fuck up! And it's going fine for me! Now listen. Pete and Fang will help me sail. The reason they will do this, is that every time they disobey me, I will remove another of my darling brother's fingers. And if they piss me off badly enough, I will kill him.”

Pete [horrified] - “You wouldn't!”

Francis [shrugs] - “Wait till you've seen me take this lot apart, then have another think about what I would or wouldn't do… Of course, Fang is missing this display… hmmm… but he'll watch me kill the dog – that'll have to do.”

[Pete looks sick with fear.]

[Belowdecks -]

[Marmalade-Mittens is purring & chirping, and batting playfully at the edges of the trunk. He looks up at the lock inquisitively when he notices a new noise coming from that area. There is no key in the lock, as Francis has taken that with him – but nevertheless, the cylinder inside is slowly rotating. It scrapes around for a few moments, then clicks into place. Moving slowly and with great difficulty, Lucius sits up, pushing the lid open. He is gagged, but hums gently at the delighted kitten. His hands are still firmly tied together, but he has nevertheless managed to remove his wooden finger, retrieve the lock-picks from inside it, and open the trunk. Dazed and groggy, he looks around, then struggles to remove the gag with his bound hands. He tries to speak, but can only croak raspily. But now with his mouth freed, he can use his teeth to tug at the ropes on his hands, loosening the knots enough to wriggle out of his bonds. After that, releasing his feet is a simpler matter. Lucius reaches down to the floor, and strokes Marmalade-Mittens gratefully for a few moments before trying to stand. He grips the edges of the trunk, hauling himself up and swaying precariously. Being careful not to step on the very excited kitten who is now bouncing around the hold, Lucius staggers towards the door and peeks out cautiously.]

[Ondeck -]

Francis [grinning at Pete] - “Maybe I'd better chop a couple of fingers off Lucius to start with, just to show you I mean it about being willing to hurt him… ”

Pete [hurriedly] - “No, don't do that, I believe you.”

Francis [calmly looking at his dagger] - “See? Love makes you weak.”

[He points to Ed & Stede.]

Francis [softly] - “So I'll kill the rest of them, slowly, and you'll watch. And then… I'll be very careful not to kill either of you, while I have some fun making you bleed. I've promised that you'll survive - and that you'll be recognisable, so that Ricky can hang you for all to see.”

Stede - “Look, it's me you have this vendetta against. I'm the one you want. So, just take me to Ricky. Nobody else here killed your captain. In fact, Edward told me not to!”

Francis [smiling] - “You're the one I want, yes. But Ricky wants you and Blackbeard… “

Ed - “Pfft. Ricky doesn't want Stede. Don't get me wrong, babe, you're a fuckin awesome pirate. But, you're kinda new on the scene! Whereas I've been causing trouble to these guys for decades.”

[He looks steadily at Francis.]

Ed [seriously] - “I'll go with you, to Ricky, and I'll hang for my crimes. But let the rest of them go – and let Stede live. Taking me from him would be a far worse punishment than just killing him.”

Stede [horrified] - “Yes, it absolutely would be! So why the hell are you suggesting it?!”

[Ed gazes at Stede, with tears welling up. He leans close in and kisses Stede's neck, whispering in his ear.]

Ed - “To keep you safe, my love… Please… “

Stede [firmly] - “No! If you're dying, I'm bloody well dying too. We can haunt Ricky together, and put salt in his tea.”

[Ed looks at Stede - with equal parts love, amusement and devastation.]

Francis [shaking his head] - “Fucking disgusting.”

Stede - “Yes, that would be the intention.”

Francis [angrily] - “No, you fucking idiot. Not the salty tea! This sickening display of affection. Edward Teach, you were once a great man! Why are you debasing yourself for such an imbecile?”

[He looks around at the assembled crew.]

Francis [taking a deep, calming breath] - “Well, never mind that, anyway… who's first?”

[Roach grins at him.]

Francis - “Fuck off, not you - sounds like you'd enjoy it. I'll just strangle you… “

[He looks speculatively at Buttons.]

Francis - “Well, maybe we'll just work our way round in the same order as earlier, hmm?”

[Smiling happily, he approaches Buttons and stabs the dagger deep into his leg. Buttons gasps, then screams as Francis twists the blade. The others scream too - a mixture of horror, pleading, bargaining and threats.]

[Belowdecks -]

[Lucius is creeping quietly along the corridor, towards the stairs leading up ondeck. The sudden screaming from above startles him, and sends the kitten dashing back to hide in Izzy's cabin. Lucius groans and mutters, horrified.]

Lucius [looking up towards the deck] - “For fuck's sake, not again… “

[He sighs, steels himself, and fetches just one sword this time. Taking a deep breath, Lucius moves silently up the stairs until he can peer out and see what is happening. Francis is facing the doorway to the stairs, and Lucius cannot exit without being clearly seen. He carefully drops back out of view, and dashes away to find a different route to the deck.]

[Ondeck -]

Francis - “It's a shame Ned isn't here. He'd make all this into music… he had such finesse! I apologise for the lack of artistry today… “

[He turns to Pete.]

Francis - “You were next, but I need you able to sail – so just watch, for now. Ah… Izzy… it's your turn… “

Izzy [sarcastic] - “Ooh, I'm so fuckin scared.”

[Francis slashes Izzy's cheek again, forming another diagonal to create a new 'x' underneath the old one. Izzy grunts with pain but does not scream. Blood streams down his face and neck.]

Izzy [goading] - “Pathetic.”

Francis [with mock-politeness] - “So sorry to disappoint – don't worry, I'll work my way back to you soon enough. One stab per person, round and round we go, till you all bleed out.”

[Belowdecks -]

[Lucius is in a cabin approximately below where the crew are tied up. He climbs onto the top of a cupboard, and wrenches a grille off the ceiling. There is a large ventilation shaft, which he wriggles inside. Shuffling along on his elbows and knees, Lucius quietly makes his way towards a beam of sunlight which is shining down through a grille in the deck.]

[There is another chorus of screaming from above. Lucius winces, and tries to hurry while staying silent.]

[Ondeck -]

[Francis has just stabbed Wee John through the arm, and is laughing as his victim bellows with pain. Then he turns towards Archie, who sneers at him but shows no fear.]

SCENE 18 – AT THE BONNET ESTATE [MID AFTERNOON]

[Mary, Doug, Alma & Louis are back at home. The dining table has been cleared, and covered in the large sheets of paper which Mary copied the diagrams onto. The others are admiring her work, when there is a knock at the front door.]

Doug [quietly] - “We'd better hide these!”

Mary [glancing at the clock] - “That should be Evelyn.”

Doug - “Oh, of course! I'll go and let her in. Or if it's anyone else, I'll tell them you're indisposed.”

[He goes to the door, and is relieved to find Evelyn waiting there. She is carrying a large flat box.]

Evelyn - “Well? How did it go?”

Doug [leading her inside] - “Successfully!”

[They enter the dining-room - Evelyn surveys the array of diagrams, and nods with appreciation.]

Evelyn - “Those looks incredible – well done, Mary! And the rest of you as well!”

Mary [smiling] - “Thanks, Evee. Ugh, my hand has awful cramp now.”

Evelyn [to the kids] - “Do you think some chocolate would help your mother to feel better?”

Alma - “Ooh! Yes!”

Louis - “It is actually known to have beneficial properties!”

[Evelyn puts the box she brought on a side-table and opens it. It is full of very fancy chocolates.]

Evelyn - “I thought we'd either be having a celebration or a commiseration this afternoon. This covers either!”

[Everyone eats some lovely chocolates.]

Doug - “These are fantastic – thank you, Evelyn! Oh, kids, do be careful to keep them away from the diagrams, won't you?”

Alma - “Don't worry, I'm not going to waste any chocolate by getting it on the paper.”

Louis - “Evelyn, do you know about yaks and chocolate? I just learned it recently!”

Evelyn - “No, I don't know about that. What is it?”

Louis - “They're very allergic! They get dizzy! Imagine a dizzy yak – oh no!”

[He starts demonstrating how much a creature might move.]

Mary - “Careful, darling!”

Louis [pausing in his yak-impression] - “It's called an 'Awful-Dizzy-Yak Effect', and I heard about it from a man called Roach who is the ship's cook and the ship's surgeon.”

Evelyn [smiling] - “Gosh – well, that's new knowledge to me. Thank you.”

[Louis resumes his impersonation of a dizzy yak. Evelyn looks at Mary with slight puzzlement, Mary whispers in her ear, and she laughs uproariously. Louis, thinking that he caused this on purpose rather than incidentally, looks pleased.]

[Full of excitement and chocolate, the kids go out to play in the garden. Louis wanders around looking for his blackbird-friend, and Alma gets out her wooden sword to practice some moves against an imaginary opponent. Doug keeps an eye on them both, and promptly gets recruited into Alma's swordfighting practice. Meanwhile, Mary & Evelyn take a closer look at the diagrams.]

Evelyn [impressed] - “There's an extreme amount of detail here. Should hopefully be enough for skilled people to make a working version… They'll need to test it, of course! I wonder where would be best for that… But, I'm getting ahead of myself! First things first – I'll write a few letters. Discreetly, of course, just in case they fall into other hands.”

Mary [laughs] - “Yeah, absolutely. Probably best not to open with 'hey, do you want to come over and do crime with me?'… “

Evelyn [wryly] - “They'll know that's what I mean, though. I've worked with them before, at various points… “

Mary - “And you're sure we can trust them?”

Evelyn - “We can trust them to do a good job, and not to go running to the law about you nicking the diagrams in the first place. They won't rob your house, either – they're more sophisticated criminals than that.”

Mary - “Good to know… “

Evelyn - “What they are likely to do, is to team up again and make more of these damn things, if the first one works.”

Mary [shrugs] - “Well, it'd be pretty hypocritical of me if I objected to that. Tell them there's no need to be discreet about making copies of the plans.”

Evelyn - “Information being shared freely – they'll like that.”

Mary [laughing] - “After it was stolen to begin with! Alma is insisting on calling the expedition piracy. But that's fine – maybe if we encourage her enough with this kind of thing, she'll shift her attention away from the more bloodthirsty type of piracy… “

[They both glance out of the window, where Alma is enthusiastically showing Doug some of the tricks she learned from Izzy & Jim.]

Mary [sighs] - “Or, perhaps she'll just multi-task… “

[Evelyn nods, and pats her on the arm comfortingly.]

SCENE 19 – IN TORTUGA [MID-AFTERNOON]

[Zheng is sat at a small table in a jeweller's workshop, closely studying some diagrams. These show a very shallow round metal pouch, about twice the size of a large coin. It looks almost flat, except for two small sharp spikes sticking up in the centre.]

Zheng - “Looks good, yes. I'm glad you thought it could work!”

[The jeweller hands her another page, which shows the underside of the design.]

Jeweller - “So, you'd fill the reservoir by removing the little panel here. Press the spikes into a cork first, of course! Pour your poison in, replace that panel, then fold and burnish these little tabs to cover the edges. I'd recommend using a trickle of wax along those joins afterwards, to ensure it's fully water-tight.”

Zheng - “OK, makes sense. Also… I'd like to include a message, if possible?”

Jeweller [laughs] - “Seems like a fairly clear message already! But sure – what were you thinking?”

Zheng [grins] - “Ha, yep. Needs the personal touch, though… ”

[She finds a blank piece of paper, and the jeweller hands her a brush & ink. Zheng writes out her name in Chinese characters.]

Zheng - “Could you inscribe these symbols into the surface, please?”

Jeweller - “Certainly. I'll engrave them on the upper side, so they don't get obscured by sealing-wax. Maybe a little motif of a snake, as well?”

[Zheng grins and nods.]

SCENE 20 – ONBOARD THE REVENGE [MID-AFTERNOON]

[Francis grins at Archie.]

Francis - “I saw you, in the apothecary shop. You fucking idiot, you didn't even notice that I'm identical to one of your most annoying crewmates.”

Archie [shrugs] - “Yeah, well, I've never seen him cosplaying as a super-clichéd old guy, so… “

Francis [laughs] - “I like you – you're funny. Shame you're about to die horribly. And by the way - you've got a nerve, to call anyone else a cliché! Look at you. You're as ridiculous as Blackbeard – 'oooh, look at me, I'm so very scary, I have lots of tattoos' - it's fucking pathetic.”

[Just below the deck, Lucius inches his way towards the grille. He reaches it, then very slowly eases it up and moves it aside.]

[Francis looks calmly at his dagger, which is dripping blood onto the deck.]

Francis - “I wonder if you're jealous of that big snake-tattoo Blackbeard has? Would you like one just the same?”

Archie - “Yeah, cheers, that'd be fuckin awesome.”

[Francis giggles, and steps closer. He starts carving a long wavy line down Archie's arm. She grits her teeth and merely whines loudly, whereas beside her Jim hollers insults and threats at Francis, struggling fruitlessly against their bonds.]

[Lucius emerges ondeck directly behind Ed, Stede, Pete & Roach. Ed hears the sound behind him and glances over his shoulder, after checking that Francis is still looking the other way. Lucius nods to Ed, and starts cutting through his bonds as quickly and quietly as possible.]

Archie [gasping for breath, but sarcastic] - “Thought you said you didn't like the arty stuff? That's actually quite pretty.”

Francis - “I'm so glad you like it. I wonder how many matching ones we'll have time for, hmm, before you run out of blood?”

[Behind Francis, Ed is getting to his feet silently. He leaps forward, grabbing Francis and knocking him down, and wrenching the dagger out of his hand. Ed pins Francis to the deck, with his own dagger held against his throat.]

Ed [softly dangerous] - “Don't move, boy.”

[Pete has now been freed too. He smiles joyfully at Lucius as his ropes are cut, then rushes over to grab Francis and start tying his limbs together instead.]

Ed [grinning at Pete] - “Thanks, mate.”

Pete - “Just glad to be on the team, Blackbeard!”

[Lucius has moved along to free Stede & Roach, who both jump up immediately as soon as they are able. Stede helps Lucius to release more of the crew, while Roach immediately dashes over to Buttons and starts trying to stop the bleeding from his leg wound.]

Roach - “Wee John! Archie! Izzy! Are all you guys all more-or-less OK? If not – Jim and Frenchie, you're good with this stuff, can you see to them please? I need to stay right here.”

Buttons [calmly] - “Cheers, laddie.”

Izzy [freed, and standing up] - “I'm fine. I can help. Hey, Calypso, let me take a look at that arm?”

[Izzy & Frenchie bandage the deep stab in Wee John's arm, while Jim & Oluwande deal with Archie's shallow but large wound. She squints at it, grinning.]

Archie - “Looks kinda cool… “

Jim [kissing her cheek quickly] - “Love you, ya fuckin maniac.”

[Pete and Ed finish tying Francis up, and Pete looks back across the deck to Lucius.]

Pete [hugely relieved] - “Babe! You're alright!”

[Lucius smiles and nods. Then there is a loud thumping noise from underneath the deck.]

Wee John - “Oh, good – sounds like Fang has woken up. He's trying to break the door down. I'll go let him out – and Sunshine.”

Izzy - “Wait, I'll go, you're hurt - “

Wee John - “I just won't do any handstands on my way there, then.”

[He hurries off.]

Roach [pointing at Francis] - “Sunshine - she knew! Fuck.”

Pete [looking at Lucius, heartbroken] - “I should have realised he wasn't you! But I just thought you were being standoffish with me, because I'd been mean to you. I'm a terrible husband.”

Lucius [kissing Pete's cheek] - “You're a lovely husband, babe. Yeah, you upset me that one time, but it was by accident. Nobody's perfect. We're all just trying our best, and learning from our mistakes, and muddling through. You're awesome, don't worry!”

Stede - “Absolutely! I know what a terrible husband looks like, and you're not it.”

[Pete gazes up at Lucius, with a mixture of devotion and sorrow. Lucius smiles affectionately, and gives him a loving kiss. Pete looks slightly reassured, and extremely besotted.]

[Roach glances up, from where he is still busy stopping Buttons from bleeding to death.]

Roach [covered in blood] - “Awww - you guys are adorable!”

Buttons [nodding sagely] - “That they are. Ah'm gonna pass oot for a bit, laddie, but yer doin' a grand job at keepin some of ma blood on the inside. Much appreciated. ”

[Buttons slumps back, unconscious but grinning. Archie (who is now bandaged thoroughly) crouches down next to him, checking that he's still breathing. She gives Roach a thumbs-up.]

Archie - “Yeah, he should be alright.”

Ed [quietly, to Stede] - “You weren't a terrible husband to Mary, my love. Just kinda hopeless - not your fault, though.”

[Stede grins bashfully – Ed puts a comforting arm around his waist.]

Ed - “And you're gonna be a fuckin amazing husband for me!”

Stede [hopefully] - “You really think so?!”

Ed [grinning] - “I know so.”

[They smile at each other.]

Francis [snarling] - “You're all fucking disgusting!”

[Ed, Izzy & Jim reach for their weapons, but are interrupted by Sunshine bounding up ondeck - followed by Wee John, who is supporting Fang. The dog leaps happily at the real Lucius, tail wagging energetically, and immediately tries to lick his nose. Lucius laughs, keeping his face out of range of the affectionate slobber, but allowing himself to be sniffed and inspected thoroughly. Sunshine licks his wrist instead.]

Lucius [giggling] - “Ew, Sunshine! You're cute, but you're gross!”

[He sits down on the deck and lets the dog snuggle up to him. She looks quite keen on another attempt at face-licking, but he hums in disapproval and she settles for sticking her entire head into his armpit instead.]

Lucius [patting the dog gently] - “What's up with you, hmm?”

Fang [blinking in the bright light] - “She was goin' mental earlier, kept trying to bite your brother. Before he knocked us both out, the little shit.”

Pete - “You feeling OK now, Fangy? He said he'd given you a pretty hefty dose… ”

Fang [looking around, dazed] - “Yeah, love, just groggy. Everyone here alright? Oh my god, Izzy, your face is covered in blood!”

Izzy [shrugs] - “It's nothin'.”

Fang - “Doesn't look like nothing!”

[He pulls out a handkerchief and starts trying to clean Izzy's face. Izzy shakes him off.]

Izzy [gruffly] - “Don't fuckin' fuss, you sentimental fool.”

Fang - “It's not sentimental to check on your wound, Iz.”

[Izzy gives a heartfelt sign, but grudgingly submits to Fang's careful ministrations. Lucius stands up. Sunshine works her way around the rest of the crew, looking carefully at each person. She stops beside the unconscious Buttons and settles down next to him, guarding.]

Fang [inspecting Izzy's cheek] - “OK, there we go. It's not too bad.”

Izzy [mumbles grouchily] - “Like I fuckin' said.”

[Fang notices the state Buttons is in, and gasps in horror.]

Fang - “Oh… oh my god… is he gonna be OK?”

[Roach & Archie nod.]

Roach - “Yeah, should be.”

[Still recovering from being poisoned, Fang sits down on the deck and leans back against the mast. He looks at Archie's bandaged arm with concern.]

Fang - “That looks kinda bad – are you alright?”

Archie [grinning] - “Yeah, I'm grand.”

Fang [suddenly gasping] - “Oh no - Lucius! I just realised - I kissed your brother! Urgh!”

Lucius [laughing] - “Oh wow! Oops… “

Izzy [very quietly] - “Uh… so did I… “

[Lucius stares at Izzy, shocked.]

Lucius [carefully] - “What was that, Iz?”

Izzy [loud & annoyed] - “I fuckin said, I kissed him as well. Sorry… Alright? OK? You heard me that time?”

Lucius [looking devastated] - “Izzy… Um. I… “

Izzy [embarrassed] - “It's fine, Lucius, I know it wasn't you. You're a shameless flirt, like you are with everyone – it doesn't mean you're actually interested.”

Lucius [softly] - “I really am, though.”

[Izzy stares resolutely at the ground.]

Lucius – “Uh… how was it, then?”

Izzy [irritated] - “It was really fuckin disappointing, if you must know! About half a second, and absolutely zero passion. I shoulda known, at that point – always thought you'd be a fantastic kisser.”

Lucius [grinning slyly] - “So, you've… imagined it, then, huh?”

Izzy [muttering, humiliated] - “Fuck off… “

Lucius [gently] - “Izzy… I wish it had been me.”

[Izzy says nothing. Lucius look at him with uncertainty and concern. Then he turns to his brother.]

Lucius [angrily] - “You absolute bitch , Francis. You stole 'my' first kiss with Izzy! And I'd been really looking forwards to it!”

Izzy [uncomfortably] - “Yeah?”

[Lucius rolls his eyes at Izzy, fondly.]

Lucius [exasperated] - “Was it not obvious? Really, Iz?”

Izzy [shrugs] - “You've always been a bit of a tease, y'know. I couldn't fuckin tell.”

Lucius [shyly] - “We could… try again, maybe, if you like… ?”

[Izzy glances up at Lucius hopefully, then gives a tiny nod.]

Lucius [pleased] - “Yeah?! Like, now, or… ?”

Izzy [gruffly] - “Oh, for fuck's sake, come here - ”

[Lucius grins and quickly steps in close, looking down at Izzy fondly. Izzy squirms a bit - but holds his gaze, challenging. Lucius smiles softly, then tenderly brushes Izzy's hair out of his face, careful to avoid the fresh wound. He keeps stroking Izzy's hair, and softly rests their foreheads together - Izzy relaxes slightly, closing his eyes. Lucius runs his other hand slowly up Izzy's arm, shoulder and neck, then very gently changes the angle of his face to bring their lips together in a sweet but insistent kiss. Izzy gasps, and Lucius smiles, nuzzling against his face before kissing him again. He keeps one hand buried in Izzy's hair as he pulls away very slightly, while stroking the other one back down his neck, shoulder and arm in a gentle caress. Izzy shivers, then smiles at Lucius, who raises an eyebrow questioningly. Seemingly now persuaded that his interest is reciprocated, Izzy sighs happily and presses himself against Lucius. Delighted by this, Lucius slips an arm firmly around Izzy's waist and pulls him even closer, kissing him passionately.]

[The enthusiastic smooching goes on for quite some time. The rest of the crew watch, impressed. Pete sits down next to Fang and puts an arm around him, both of them smiling. The only person not watching so intently is Roach, who is still kneeling next to Buttons and making adjustments to the tourniquet. He glances up briefly.]

Roach - “Finally. Thank goodness - the sexual tension was killing me.”

Fang - “Awwww! They're really cute!”

Pete [appreciative] - “Oh my god, and so hot!”

[Eventually, Lucius & Izzy resurface for air. They at clutch each other, both out-of-breath. Lucius giggles, then gives Izzy another quick kiss.]

Lucius [raising an eyebrow suggestively] - “Hmmm?”

Izzy [trying not to giggle] - “Dunno what you mean… “

Lucius [teasing] - “Good kiss, then?”

Izzy - “Fuck off, like you don't know it!”

Lucius - “As good as you'd imagined?”

Izzy [shrugs] - “Better.”

Lucius [smug & affectionate] - “Sooo… you want another… ?”

[Izzy pretends to consider the question carefully, then grins and reaches for Lucius again. However, they are interrupted by Francis spitting on the deck and snarling at them.]

Francis [disgusted] - “Lucy, you're such a whore! Servicing half the ship, aren't you?”

Lucius [angrily] - “Don't fucking call me that! I'm not 'Lucy', and I'm not a whore, actually. I mean - could be, if I wanted to. I'd be incredibly successful.”

Francis [viciously] - “Whore . Little Lucy the sad little whore, doesn't even realise it… You're managing to delud e yourself that these men actually care about you? You're pathetic. Everyone's bored and horny, when they're stuck out at sea. Doesn't make you special, that they all wanna fuck you.”

[Lucius is uncharacteristically lacking in a sarcastic response – he just stares at Francis with dismay and hurt. Izzy looks at Lucius, concerned, then squeezes his hand gently.]

Izzy [softly] - “Lucius. Your brother talks a lot of shit. Don't listen to him.”

[Lucius is struggling to hold back tears. Francis responds with a cruel laugh.]

Pete - “Fuck off, man! How dare you?! That's my husband you're talking to.”

Fang - “And also my boyfriend. You don't have to approve – but don't go thinking you understand us. Any of us. And if you think that's all someone could see in your brother, it just shows how little you know about him. Your loss.”

[Lucius smiles at them both, but still looks upset & shaken.]

Francis [insincere] - “Awww, Lucy, how sweet. The little whore thinks she's found true love… Just you wait. Enjoy it while it lasts, I guess – won't be for long.“

[Izzy steps forward to face Francis.]

Izzy [with mock-formality] - “I would like to assure you - “

[He punches Francis in the stomach, hard, making him double over and splutter.]

Izzy - “- that my affection for your brother is genuine, and my intentions towards him are honourable.”

[Lucius laughs. Izzy winks at him.]

Izzy [grins] - “Or, y'know - as honourable as anything can be, on a ship full of pirates. I'm not exactly courting him over afternoon tea at the vicarage. But, my point still stands.”

Lucius [suggestively] - “Oh, does it, now?”

Izzy [rolls his eyes] - “… fine, OK - I walked right into that one, didn't I?”

Lucius [nodding sagely] - “You very much did, yes.”

[Lucius reaches a hand out towards Izzy, who takes it shyly.]

Lucius [amused] - “I really appreciate you defending my virtue, Iz. But you have to admit it's pretty funny, considering the things you've called me, in the past… and more recently. I seem to recall the phrase 'you little harlot' from just a couple of weeks ago.”

Izzy - “Yeah, well. Er, sorry about that. Guess I deserved a punch, too. I mean, uh, ages ago when I called you that kinda thing. More recently, I suppose I've just meant it as, like, a joke or something. In a friendly sort of a way, y'know… ”

Lucius - “Awww, look at you, being affectionate via the use of slurs!”

Izzy [shiftily] - “Fuck off, I'm not fuckin affectionate… But, uh, I won't call you that sort of thing as a joke, if you hate it.“

Lucius [fondly exasperated] - “Not affectionate, huh? Izzy! You just snogged my face off – and the entire crew were watching!”

Izzy - “Yeah, well, be that as it may. Slight lapse in propriety there, yes – unlike yourself, I don't tend to enjoy an audience for that kind of thing. But, I was, uh. Swept up in the moment, I suppose. And I'm not going to compound matters now, by being soppy in front of everyone!”

Lucius [gently teasing] - “Would it make you feel better, then, if I pretended that you have not just very much been 'soppy in front of everyone'?”

Izzy [laughs softly] - “Yeah, cheers.”

[Francis, still gasping from the punch, tries to catch his breath. He snarls at Izzy.]

Francis - “You… will… die… screaming… “

[Lucius ignores his brother, and smiles cheekily at Izzy. He steps in close, and murmurs seductively.]

Lucius - “I can counter that offer, with … how about: just a little death, hmm? But, still screaming?”

[Izzy splutters and blushes. Lucius giggles. A few of the others laugh as well - Stede watches Izzy with fond amusement.]

Stede - “Gosh, Izzy, I didn't even know you could still get wound up like that! You've been quite the fan of making me flustered with suggestive jokes in recent months. Wow! This is brilliant.”

Izzy [unbothered] - “Oh, fuck off, Bonnet. I'm a bit compromised, alright?! You try kissing this guy, see if you can even form coherent sentences afterwards… “

[Stede & Lucius glance at each other with matching expressions of alarm.]

Stede - “Er. No, thank you.”

Lucius - “Seconded. Ew.”

Ed [offended] - “Hey! Fucking 'ew'?! Fuck off, mate!”

Stede - “That's really quite alright. The feeling is entirely mutual. He's far too young for me.”

Izzy [also offended] - “Hey!”

Stede [hastily] - “I said for me, Izzy, not for you! It's a personal choice.”

Francis [sneering] - “What a shame, Lucy. Bonnet's not interested.”

Stede [irritated] - “Can we please gag him?”

[Archie steps forwards, very keen to help with this. She smirks at Francis and stuffs a cloth into his mouth, then binds it in place with rope.]

Archie - “Much better. Now, what shall we do with him?”

Jim [putting a hand on the hilt of their knife] - “Well, I've got a suggestion… “

[They look at Lucius, questioningly.]

Jim - “I mean, I could make it quick? That's better than he deserves, really. Much better than what he was planning for us lot.”

Lucius [sighs, uncertain] - “I dunno, Jim.”

Ed - “No! We're not killing this guy!”

Lucius [tired] - “Aren't we? Why not?”

Ed - “He's your brother, man! We can't!”

Lucius [looking sadly at Francis] - “And if we don't – what then? Not like he's gonna decide to leave us alone.”

[Francis, now unable to speak, looks at Lucius with surprise and fear.]

Lucius [sighs unhappily] - “You thought I wouldn't let anyone hurt you? Really?”

Stede - “We could just take him with us to Tortuga, and lock him up somewhere till we work out what to do? We're going back there now, aren't we - not still heading for Charleston?”

Frenchie - “Yep. We'll go and talk with Zheng, have a think about what to do next.”

Stede (speculatively) - “Whether we murder Francis, or merely incarcerate him… if he's out of action, I wonder if we could engineer a reverse-Uno against Ricky… “

Frenchie - “What's reverse-Uno, man?”

Archie [grinning] - “Sounds like something from the kama-sutra.”

Oluwande [with a sigh] - “It's like, when you throw the same plan back at the person who did it in the first place.”

Frenchie [uncertain] - “You mean Lucius posing as Francis?! Uh, I dunno, that sounds pretty risky… “

Izzy [nodding] - “Captain's right. It's a tempting thought, sure, to gather information that way - but too much could go wrong.”

Fang [to Lucius] - “Don't do it, love, you'd be in terrible danger. Hornigold's awful.”

Pete - “Agreed. Please don't go!”

Lucius - “I'd be delighted not to! It would only be a clever plan if I could pull it off. But I'd be hopeless! They'd have the advantage of having just done the same thing themselves, and being suspicious. Plus - “

[He gestures with his prosthetic finger.]

Lucius - “They might notice this… “

Stede [sheepishly] - “Ah, yes, sorry. Of course. I forgot.”

[Lucius rolls his eyes at him.]

Ed - “Even if you could regrow a missing finger overnight, it'd be fuckin mental to go into that snake's-nest. Hornigold never reacted kindly to any failure in carrying out his commands – and I doubt he's mellowed. Turning up there as 'Francis', but without the prisoners he went to get? Fuckin suicide.”

[Izzy glares at Stede.]

Izzy [wryly] - “Not a word, Bonnet. Last time Ed described a plan of yours in those terms, I fuckin died.”

Stede - “Um. Sorry about that, Izzy. It wasn't my intention! But, I shall now firmly take a back-seat in the planning committee.”

Archie [laughing] - “That also sounds kinda like - “

Jim [nudging her affectionately] - “You're a menace!”

Stede [blushing] - “Right, then. Hopefully nobody dies this time.”

Oluwande - “Except for Ricky.”

Stede [nodding] - “Except for him, yes.”

[They all turn to look at Buttons, who is lying very still on the deck while Roach continues to look after him.]

Roach [sighs] - “I wouldn't mind getting Buttons to shore, and it's much closer if we turn back. Heading for Tortuga sounds good.”

Oluwande - “Is he gonna make it?”

Roach - “I think so, probably. But it'd be better if we were on land – I might need resupplies, or some medical backup.”

Frenchie - “Alright. Roach - you stay here with Buttons. Jim - can you take charge of guarding the prisoner, please?”

Jim [grinning] - “Gladly.”

Frenchie - “Everyone else, with me – let's get the ship turned around.”

Oluwande [to Jim] - “Don't hurt him!”

Jim - “I won't – so long as he doesn't try anything.”

Oluwande [warily] - “OK… “

Jim [whispers threateningly to Francis] - “Please, try to escape… “

[Roach, still tending to Buttons, looks at Francis and speaks coldly.]

Roach - “You poisoned a meal which I had cooked. There is no worse crime against a chef.”

[He grins happily, and continues -]

Roach - “So, I'm very glad we haven't killed you yet. When Buttons wakes up, he'll need plenty of fresh meat while he regains his strength. I'll feed you to him, a bit at a time… Seems fair, don't you think?”

[Francis looks terrified. Jim laughs.]

Jim - “Oluwande is gonna be pissed-off with you, man!”

Roach [shrugs] - “He'll get over it.”

[end-of-episode song is “River Of Hope” by Big Country]

POST-CREDITS SCENE : at the Bonnet Estate [ a few days later ]

[This scene is set in the same outbuilding where Stede & the children made the torn outfit for his fake death at the end of season 1.]

[Several different workshop areas have been set up, and around half a dozen craftspeople are busy constructing various complex pieces of apparatus. Mary's copies of the plans are pinned up along the walls, next to a life-size sketch of the diving-suit.]

[The people who Evelyn has hired for this project include metalsmiths, leather-workers, and a clock-maker. The group consists of a diverse mix of ages / races / genders. They are all wearing sturdy aprons, and some have other protective equipment as well (depending on what they're currently doing).]

[Doug enters, carrying a large tray of tea & cakes. One of the artisans looks up from her work, and raises an eyebrow.]

Doug - “Oh, right, yes, I forgot! Not in here?”

[She smiles, and he takes the tray back outside to a table in the courtyard. Mary & Evelyn have just caught up with him.]

Evelyn [grinning] - “Been kicked out, have you?”

Doug [laughs] - “Your criminals are really quite fussy! No food or drink allowed in the workshop.”

Mary - “Well… I've accidentally taken a sip of my painting-water a couple of times. It was disgusting! But I suppose with some of the things they're using, it'd be a mistake you only could make once… ”

[She draws a finger across her throat illustratively.]

Evelyn [grumbles] - “They won't let me smoke in there, either.”

[The craftspeople make their way outside, and tuck into the afternoon tea appreciatively. Alma & Louis run across to join the others, having been playing in the garden.]

[The episode ends with a shot of the life-size sketch, starting at the feet and panning slowly upwards in a dramatic manner.]