Chapter Text
“I know you’re freaking out, Peter.”
Peter had ran from the parking lot to the ER, where he met with Taylor. He had probably anticipated for Peter to be frantic about Neal being in the hospital. He stopped a panicked Peter and gave him a chance to calm down.
“He’s okay. He just had a seizure which didn’t stop for a while so Harry, here, called for an ambulance”
Peter gave a relieved sigh and took a seat next to Neal’s bed; Harry by his side.
He was sound asleep.
“Sorry Peter, we really didn’t have time to call you before transporting Neal”
Harry gently grabbed hold of his shoulder, helping him calm down.
“No it’s okay, as long as he’s okay. I thought something bad had happened”
Although it’s been 2 years of in and out of hospitals and various trips to the ER, Peter would never get used to getting random calls from the hospital; let alone his care home. His heart sank a little every single time.
“Peter, I think it might be worth considering surgical options for Neal’s seizures”
“Another brain surgery? God no.”
Given Neal’s fragility, Peter knew any risks associated with brain surgery would be much worse for Neal. He really didn’t want him to have to suffer any more.
“Peter, it’s going to get worse. I’m worried it’ll cause more damage to Neal’s brain”
“…will the surgery actually help?”
“Yes. It’s a last resort kind of a treatment and I think Neal’s severity is enough to make him a candidate”
“I’ll..I’ll need to discuss with El…”
“Of course, take as much time as you need to decide. We’re going to keep Neal overnight for observation though”
—
El sat next to Peter, hoping to bring him a sense of comfort. She knew Peter hated making these decisions for Neal. She knew be always feared making the wrong decision and the thought of having to live with himself after making that decision.
She saw guilt overflow her husband when the Sam incident happened; how he blamed himself for even letting a monster take care of Neal for so long, and how it went on for so long without him noticing anything until the end.
“Honey, I think the surgery is actually going to benefit Neal”
They had 5 different pamphlets on outlining the details of the surgery, treatment options for post-traumatic epilepsy, recovery after the surgery and everything else Taylor had given them about Neal’s options.
Peter and El had done some research on the internet, too. Peter wanted this for Neal. He wanted nothing more than to help his seizures stop- it was the one thing that was truly hindering Neal’s recovery.
He knew the risks, and he also knew the benefits truly outweighed the risks in this instance.
Peter watched as Neal began to stir in his bed, whimpering and grunting as he struggled to move.
“Hey sweetheart”
El was the first to get out of her chair.
“You gave us quite a scare again”
She held Neal’s face, and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek, even though she knew full well that Neal was too out of it after his seizure.
El gently stroked Neal’s brown curls while his eyes were fixated on nothing; a telltale sign that Neal had a seizure, not too long ago.
Peter knew the right decision was to consent to the surgery. He reached out to hold Neal’s hand, now cold from the aircon.
“I don’t want to disappoint you buddy”
Peter was deep in thought when he received a text message:
Sara Ellis: You busy Peter?
Sara Ellis: where’s Neal?
He had a lot of explaining to do.
—
He had asked her to meet him in-front of the hospital, to which Sara’s response was more questions of “what’s going on?” and “is everything okay?”.
Everything was not okay.
He was about to break her heart as soon as she came back home, and he was not ready to do this for her, or for Neal. But sooner or later, she’d find out the truth. The least he could do for her was to lay it down gently.
Peter nervously sat at the hospital foyer, and became even more nervous when he saw Sara walk in.
“Peter”
“Sara. How are you?”
“I’ll be better once you tell me what’s going on”
“Please, sit.”
So Peter started from the beginning - from when Neal was shot, to his recovery, the recent Sam incident and how he was doing now. All of it - and none of it. He decided that she didn’t need to know all the truly awful parts in the middle.
Sara sat before him, mostly unchanged, seeming unaffected.
“Can I go see him?”
So he took her to Neal’s room. Her pace slowing down as she knew they were getting closer.
Peter stopped when Sara stopped.
And Peter kept walking when Sara walked.
“When you were you telling me just before I thought I was going to be okay…but Peter I…I don’t know what I should be expecting”
“…he still has his smile. His damn charming Caffrey smile. He still has his stunning blue eyes. They said his long term memory is still intact so…although he can’t really say so, he’s still…I like to think he’s still in there”
Sara looked like she was already ready to cry. Peter was all too familiar with what she was feeling. He waited until she was ready to go and he stood in front of the door, and waited for Sara to catch up.
“Just…letting you know. He had a big seizure yesterday so he’s kind of out of it. Okay?”
“Okay”
El gave Sara a kiss and a hug as soon as she saw her walk in. Neal still had a blank expression- a sign that he was not all there.
Peter moved his chair around to the top of Neal’s head, positioning himself to be close enough to run his fingers through Neal’s curly hair.
“Hey buddy, look who’s here to see you?”
Peter quietly whispered to Neal’s ear and pointed to Sara, who was standing by the end of Neal’s bed.
“Hi Neal”
Sara smiled as she moved closer; gently taking Neal’s hand, which was painfully in an odd angle - as it always was after a seizure. Sara suddenly let go to ask whether it would hurt him. Peter assured her that it wouldn’t, and instead he would be glad to see her for the first time in 2 years.
—
He thinks he can recognise the voices.
That perfume
Those eyes
It was Sara
—
Neal wasn’t discharged the next day.
Peter and El had decided surgery would be the best option and given Neal’s history, Taylor had scheduled the surgery as soon as the consent forms were signed.
Sara had left in the evening, and came back early in the morning before Neal was wheeled out for surgery.
By that point, Peter could see Neal had regained consciousness and was relatively aware of his surroundings.
El gently woke Neal up by stroking his hair, and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Peter moved quickly to wipe the rest of the drool off of Neal’s chin and proceeded to change the handkerchief placed between Neal’s shoulder and collarbone, which was there to soak up whatever drool it could soak up overnight.
“Morning Neal”
Sara gently laid a kiss on Neal’s cheeks and Peter watched as Neal’s eyes grew a little wider
“M..morn…S..sa..r”
He smiled as he locked eyes with her, feeling her hand on his.
“Hey”
And Sara smiled wider when she realised Neal was trying to say her name.
“I missed you Caffrey”
She fiddled with his curls, which she knew would be gone soon.
She remembered all those mornings, waking up in his arms, in his apartment. All those mornings where Neal would make breakfast and they would have a sweet moment together on the terrace. All the mornings where they would shower together, getting ready for work.
Her leaving his apartment, wondering whether he would run.
All those mornings she took for granted.
And now there she was, holding his hand, Neal in a hospital bed, wishing him luck for brain surgery in the morning.
And she wondered if things could have been different if she hadn’t left for London.