Chapter Text
The gravel crunched under Robby’s shoes as he walked across the rooftop. The cold wind sent a shiver down his spine and he shoved his hands into his pockets as he pulled his shoulders up to shield himself. It was really getting too cold to start the morning up on the roof.
“Morning, Jack,” He called out as he approached the lone figure leaning against the railing. Like the freak of nature he was, Jack was still only wearing his t-shirt.
“Mornin’,” Jack greeted without looking over his shoulder.
Robby came up to lean against the railing right next to him. Both of them looked towards the east to watch the sun finally start to peek over the horizon.
“All good?” Robby asked.
“Just wanted some fresh air,” Jack’s voice was quiet, rough after a long night. “You?”
“Yeah,” Robby nodded. “Anything I should know about?”
“In a minute, let’s just…” Jack exhaled and let his head drop.
Robby understood. Even if the shift hadn’t been a particular disaster, the over twelve hours of constant bright lights, noise and running around was overstimulating at the best of times. Sometimes you just needed to stand in silence for a bit.
Even if they lived together, they rarely saw each other now that Robby was back at work. They still worked opposing shifts and for most of the week, they only saw each other during handover. And even when they were home at the same time, Jack tried to keep roughly the same hours as when he was working, and they were often too exhausted from the week to do more than exchange a few words here and there.
“Okay, let’s go,” Jack suddenly said and pushed himself away from the railing.
Robby nodded and pulled his hands out of his pockets to rub them together to get some feelings back into his fingers.
“It’s not that cold,” Jack pointed out with a sideways smile.
“Yeah it is.”
Jack snorted and rolled his eyes, as if his nose and ears weren’t flushed from the cold wind up on the roof. They walked side by side in silence until they made it into the elevator. Robby jabbed the button for the ED.
“You have an appointment with neuro at one,” Jack said once the elevator started descending.
“I know,” Robby replied with a nod. Ever since he invited Jack to that first therapy appointment, Jack had started inserting himself into all of Robby’s medical appointments. It was either touching or annoying, depending on the day.
“You missed the last one.”
“A twelve year old was coding! What was I supposed to do?”
“Fair. I guess.”
“I don’t see the point,” Robby scratched his beard. “I don’t have any seizures and the migraines seem here to stay, so…”
The look Jack shot him was scathing. Robby held up his hands in surrender.
Eventually, the elevator reached the ED and came to a halt with a ding. The door slid open and the sounds of the Pitt poured in. Dana was already standing by Central, talking to Lena and Samira.
Robby was suddenly struck by how quickly everything had gone back to normal. He and Jack stepped out of the elevator together to start handover with more or less the same team they’d had for years. Everything was the same, at the same time as it was completely different.
“Hey, Robby, neuro at one,” Dana said as soon as Robby and Jack appeared at Central. “You’re not missing this one, big guy.”
“Jesus, not you too,” Robby groaned in pretend annoyance.
Seeing Dana in the Pitt was something he’d never take for granted ever again. They got her back and Robby had almost started crying in relief when she told him. Anything she asked for, he did his damndest to give to her. Whether it was a new coffeemaker for the staff lounge, more security for the ED, or that he made it to his doctor’s appointment.
“People care about you, what a pain,” Jack deadpanned before gesturing for Robby to follow him. “Want some incentive?”
“Why not?” Robby replied as they walked towards the lockers.
“If you make it to the appointment, I’ll take you glamping.”
“You’ll take me what ?”
Jack gave him a wry smile as he unlocked his locker to grab his bag.
“Parker told me about it. I think it’s just camping, but you sleep in a cabin instead of in a tent.”
“Why not just say that?” Robby laughed and shook his head. “Sure, I’ll go glamping with you.”
“Only if you make your appointment,” Jack thumped him on the back.
Robby did make it to the appointment and stayed the whole time without rushing through it in order to get back to the Pitt as soon as possible. And as a reward, Jack booked them a cabin in a nearby national park. Upon further research, it seemed like glamping was a bit more complicated than Jack initially made out, but Robby wasn’t going to correct him. Especially since he wasn’t sure if he understood it completely himself.
The next time they had a weekend off together, they packed overnight bags with comfortable clothes and packed themselves into Robby’s ancient jeep, which Jack had paid to get towed from the parking lot it had ended up abandoned in after Robby’s misadventure.
“You need a new car,” Jack pointed out when the jeep didn’t start on the first try.
“There’s nothing wrong with my jeep,” Robby immediately jumped to his beloved car’s defence.
“Robby, I know what you get paid, you can afford a car that’s not old enough to graduate college.”
“I’m actually thinking about getting a motorcycle,” Robby told him when the jeep finally spluttered to life.
Jack just stared wide-eyed at him.
At some point during the drive, Jack fell asleep to the sound of the radio, snoring quietly. Robby kept his eyes on the empty road, tuning out the radio as his thoughts started to wander.
A mild anxiety started settling in his stomach. The sensation made Robby frown. It was first now that he realised it had been days since he felt it last. For as long as he could remember, anxiety had been his constant companion. Anxiety, dark thoughts, suicidal ideation. It had almost become background noise, occasionally rising in volume. But now he realised that it had been days without any of those thoughts or feelings.
It was overwhelming and he sucked in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. The prospect of actually getting better seemed like a faraway dream. COVID and Adamson’s death had broken Robby so thoroughly that he thought there was no chance of ever being put together. He had just assumed he was damaged goods, doomed to be shattered for the rest of his life.
Robby was so caught up in his sudden realisation that he almost missed their turn. He cursed and took the turn perhaps a bit too violently. In the passenger seat, Jack jerked awake and looked around.
“We there yet?” He mumbled before yawning.
“Ten minutes or so.”
“Great,” Jack stretched out before leaning back against the window.
Sure enough, a little over ten minutes and just in time for lunch, they rolled into the parking lot outside the park. It would be a short hike to the cabins and despite the weather leaving a lot to be desired, Robby couldn’t stop the cautious optimism that started mixing with his anxiety.
The last time he had pulled a backpack out of the trunk of his jeep, he had been at his absolute lowest. His rock bottom. And it had ended in disaster. Whatever had happened, it could easily have killed him. If it wasn’t for Jack and his weird group of acquaintances, he would have died in that crevice beneath that cliff.
“Trekking through the mud,” Jack shook his head as Robby locked the car. “I promised I’d stop doing it when I stopped being paid for it.”
“I thought that only went for sleeping in the mud.”
“Anything involving mud, really.”
Robby chuckled as he took the lead down the trail. While it was raining, it was a calm and quiet rain and the trail was still in good condition. It wasn’t even close to as muddy as Jack made it sound as he walked beside Robby.
Robby inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the crisp air. The smell of rain and the forest sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. God, he was happy.
He knew that it wouldn’t last. It was a good chance that the good feeling would disappear come Monday. Maybe it would even be gone tomorrow. The good times never lasted. But… The bad didn’t either. He hadn’t been able to see that before, but he did now. And right in that moment, he was happy.
Out of the corner of his eye, Robby saw Jack smile. He turned to look at him. Jack’s eyes were warm and soft.
“Welcome back, brother,” He said softly. “Been a while.”
Robby returned Jack’s smile, warmth blooming in his chest.
It would be okay. He would be okay. They would be okay.