Chapter Text
Initially, Abolish wouldn't have said that Oakhurst had mattered to him at all ...since well, frankly...it didn't.
It wasn't important to him, and the residents weren't either. They were utter lunatics, and it almost made him dread the paperwork he would have to do when he got back. Although when faced with returning 'home'... he wasn't sure if he was so certain about that fact anymore.
Sure, it was nice to get to talk to the others again, but... wasn't he just leaving behind the Oakhurst residents in the same way he did them?
He didn't know them well, having barely met them. It was clear from the start that he would keep it strictly formal and not get too attached...
It was ...a job.
That was all it was, and yet to him it felt so much more significant. Even if he went into that all with a disguise in mind...They didn't really impact him that much right...?
Maybe because they treated him like an equal to some degree, not some lackey or co-worker.
Maybe he didn't truly have to be hidden when going into that... although, he didn't know what he was going to deal with...
He was a friend to them, an ally. Something more than just another member within a department.
Maybe that's what he misses the most. That feeling of belonging that makes him feel almost imperceptibly guilty for leaving Oakhurst.
Although he can't turn back now...he was already in this carriage...so he supposed he would just have to...focus on his job again.
He was already back at Blackwynn, and it's a long way back to Oakhurst at this rate.
No point in dwelling on something as passing as that.
He looked outside the window, resting his cheek against his hand in thought. He didn't know what to think, nor what to say.
He was back with his family...
But it felt like he lost another one.
He does wonder if he would be able to get into contact with any of them again, maybe Legundo or Avid...
He didn't know who exactly he would want to talk with, but having somebody who shared that... unpredictable experience would be appreciated, that's for certain.
And... only those Oakhurst folks knew of it. Who knows where they've deviated off to now? They're all going back home — just like he was.
They've all got different places where they stay and live, and yet he feels like they were fine living all together instead.
It was... less troublesome than having to get back into the workings of the Veylocke name, although ...that was what he signed up for.
No turning back.
...Not anymore.
Just focus on doing what he's always done, since you can't change the past nor the stones you've passed.
...and maybe that's the worst thing he's ever heard.
He would rather go back there.
...
The Thorndale Manor was up ahead, but he slightly dreaded it.
They were a family, sure...but that family was just a placeholder to hide the workings beyond it. He didn't truly know why he cared so much about the people who were at Oakhurst.
But...that couldn't matter anymore. He had to focus on the present, even if leaving the past...and the people he's met behind hurt.
He had a job. He was only at Oakhurst to do a job.
...So why does he suddenly feel like he'd rather be there than here?
Maybe he's just reminiscing; it's only natural after what happened. It'll all go back to normal once he gets back into routine, and he'll forget all about what occurred at Oakhurst.
It doesn't matter. He already has a place to stay with Morcant and the butlers and maids. So why does he want something more?
As the car came to a stop, Abolish perked up and gazed outside. He fixed his gloves to regulate his emotions that seemed to be spilling over, and exited the vehicle by himself. Walking up to the doors in front of him.
Breathe.
He should just get back to doing what he's always done, since nothing has changed.
Nothing ever will.
No matter how badly he wishes he could have such truthful bonds with people, he knows that's not an option for him anymore.
All of his relations outside of this dark, pitch-black manor were strictly performative and not real...
Even if he wished otherwise.
For Abolish, he knew there was no point in trying to make connections. They'd be used against him, especially if he didn't know their goals or wishes.
Yet, sometimes he wished he didn't have to worry about such things. Sure, he had a job to do...but eventually he'd be able to make real bonds with people outside of that, right?
He couldn't possibly just be stuck in this looped dance of acting...not when something real is better than anything fake.
...But what was real? For all he knows, maybe he was just imagining something real.
...Sigh.
He should just focus on work. He's said it to himself a thousand times, and yet his mind still keeps diverting.
Abolish twisted the door handle, pushing it open with a creak.
He gazed around, trying to spot anybody.
Well, he knew what he had to do in the first place...so he supposed he was going to go to Morcant and tell him what happened.
What better than to immediately go to your boss to tell him about an on-field mission that went awry?
Abolish walked up the stairs with practised ease, his hand gliding over the wooden railing in a manner that was practised all too long ago and many times before.
He turned to the left, looking at a painting that was hung up before diverting his gaze.
He's looked at that painting too many times to count.
Abolish walked to the end of the hall, letting out a quiet, shaky exhale as he pulled his gloves down. Knocking on the door to Morcant's office.
"Come in..."
He heard a voice call out. One he was used to hearing when talking about affairs involving vampires and other corporate dealings.
Abolish pushed the door open, closing it behind him.
"Abolish. You're back. Any matters that happened?"
Morcant looked up from the desk for about a singular second before looking back at the documents on his desk.
Of course, he couldn't be bothered to pay another moment longer to the person he took in. He was busy...
It's fine...
It's truly fine.
"It went... oddly. I was assuming there were residents there, although there were some vampires as well...and they got out of hand."
Abolish remarked in a strained tone. It felt so suffocating in this room, purely filled with information and cases that were all too similar.
"Oh? And did you deal with them like I taught you to? Had to kill any?"
Morcant gazed up, staring at Abolish. That made him subconsciously flinch, for whatever reason.
It's fine... It's fine.
"I did. They're under control...none needed to die without reason." (And if they did, they did so willingly)
Abolish stated coolly, looking aside and folding his arms. Trying to hide that flutter in his heartbeat and the trembling in his breath.
"Good. Anything else to report, or are we done here?"
Morcant expectantly tapped the papers onto the desk, making Abolish glance towards them as they were settled into a straight pile.
"Nothing more. We'll talk again another time."
Abolish muttered, turning away and exiting the office. Hearing a goodbye being called out to him.
Why was he so anxious? Normally, he wouldn't be stressed at all.
It was Morcant! The man who took him in and raised him...
...That didn't sound right anymore.
Morcant was somebody he's known since he was a child, but only now does he realise how unsettling it feels to talk to him.
He doesn't feel like that same comforting presence he knew before he went to Oakhurst...he feels like Scott or Owen.
Looking at it from that perspective, it felt almost controlling, like it was entirely fake. That man who raised him only raised him for his own benefit.
...No, no... he was...just making unnecessary correlations.
Morcant wasn't that type of person...
Right?
He's known the man for so long...! He's basically his father...!
...But...somebody else filled in that role, and was better at it.
Morcant didn't ...feel like he fit anywhere in Abolish's life right now, even when he's been there the entire time.
If that's how a father acts, did he really have a father at all? Or was it merely a mentor he had?
... He's so confused. He needs to go lie down before he starts spewing more information that just confuses him. It doesn't make sense as to why he would think that; it's not as if Morcant would ever treat him like that...
Abolish made hurried steps towards his room and completely locked himself inside. Sitting on the bed in a practically monotone room.
It was sparsely decorated, almost as if you were walking into a fancy hotel with only the necessities.
He looked at the floor, trying not to think too much about what was going on.
What affected him so much for him to suddenly start questioning a man he's known since forever?
Maybe it's unimportant; it's not like Morcant has ever done anything to him.
He just feels...so performative now.
Compared to the people at that town of theirs, he was so much less honest and clear.
With Legundo and the other townsfolk, they were heartfelt and meant what they said...and Legundo genuinely cared, and so did the others...
So why couldn't he feel that same relation with Morcant?
What truly has changed?
Maybe it's just him... he's been in this house for a while, so maybe he just needs to sleep it off.
It's only natural to act differently after going through an experience like that at Oakhurst.
...Time to just...close his eyes.
When Abolish woke up, he sat up and looked around. Nothing changed, obviously. But still, that nagging feeling of uneasiness was lurking. What was wrong, genuinely?
Abolish got out of bed, leaving his room and going downstairs. He should eat something.
He greeted the servants he saw walking around, and entered the kitchen soon after.
He preferred to make his own meals, as he didn't want to trouble the maids and butlers with the work. He knows how to cook, even if it's not as grand or as spectacular as they could do.
He baked himself some potatoes, since it's practically all he ate at Oakhurst.
These were a bit sweeter, but it's fine...
Abolish leaned back against the counter, gazing away. Why was that nagging feeling still there? There wasn't anything that could make him feel that way right now; he's back here...and has always been here...
What could be setting him off about a place he's always been at?
...Whatever, he should stop worrying about it. Maybe it's just his paranoia getting to him...
Why was he paranoid about somewhere he's always been? Seriously, what was going on with him right now?
He needed to quickly make a plan to calm down, before he started stressing himself out too much.
Maybe he should...find an excuse to go back to Oakhurst? Perhaps it's just a problem with his mind deviating from somewhere he was around for so long...
He'll...settle down eventually. He hopes.
He doesn't think he'll be able to live with this anxious, overbearing feeling for another day at this rate.
Abolish should just go get a mission to do so he finally doesn't stress over Oakhurst.
Oakhurst was just another home of his; the manor was fine.
He was just getting used to this place again...
It's fine...
It's fine.
Abolish had received another mission, although the specifics were about as clear as a foggy window.
You could see what was on the other side, but it was all mixed up.
So instead of being on the field, he instead had to settle for sorting out this information, as Morcant didn't want to send him out again too soon just in case.
...Fine, he was able to do this. It's not like it could be too confusing...it's a rapport, who could go wrong with one of these?
So...Newsflash! Somebody totally could. The grammar felt as rushed as a newborn toddler's, and he barely could understand where they started the mission and how it was concluded...?!
How the absolute hell are you able to mess up something like this so horribly?? What do you mean you picked up a table?? What did you do with it...?? How is this genuinely relevant to you drinking water???
What is this document, and how could he destroy it?
He was honestly just thinking of rewriting it all himself because there was no way this was coherent to the gods themselves.
Well...he should just get to making sense of this, and then, finally... rewriting it all.
He's genuinely so sick of looking at this document– no, a doodle from a toddler.
Abolish sighed, putting a hand in his hair.
He wished he could say Oakhurst was more of a stressful situation than this, but it honestly wasn't.
Right...Oakhurst. He eventually needed to make a report about that, right?
Abolish shook his head, focusing back on the document and sorting through the amalgamation of words (if you could even call them that, it's better off a string of letters) and removed the irrelevant information.
He wrote down the important parts, especially the ones documenting the interactions with the vampire and how the environment was around this babbling fool of a person.
No wonder Morcant made him do this... he's honestly the only person who would even bother trying to transcribe something like this.
Whatever.
Abolish lifted the sin-on-paper and moved it towards a lit candle that was off to the side. It is catching fire and giving a delightful ashy smell.
Thank gosh it was calming enough so that Abolish could focus on actually working instead of bothering with a child's play on words.
Abolish looked up, groaning as he realised he still had to write about Oakhurst.
He was going to blur out their names, obviously...he wouldn't give any unneeded details. That are usually mandatory.
Their names were unspecified, he barely remembered them... totally...
Maybe he cared for them more than he should've, but can you blame him? They felt more like a family than this job did.
...Sometimes he wondered if he hadn't gone to Oakhurst, then he would've been fine...
Or maybe nothing would've changed by then...
Although he knew that he couldn't change what he did during Oakhurst. And, truthfully, he didn't want to.
It was for the best. Not only did he deal with a future mission in the making early, but he didn't have to think about his parents anymore...
Hm. He was truly still thinking about Oakhurst...
How are the former residents doing? Hopefully alright and recovering, especially the previous vampires...
He knew that they were going to be okay, and that he couldn't blame any of them for their actions, considering how starkly they differed from how vampires were treated in the outside world compared to within Oakhurst.
One thing he knew for certain was that something from that place had affected him...
And he didn't know what.
He'll...figure out eventually. Most likely...he hoped.
Abolish picked up a pen, slightly scratching it against a scrap of paper absentmindedly before focusing on the information he had to write down now...
Day 1: Getting to Oakhurst.
I arrived at Oakhurst while it was raining, after departing from ----- and --------. I had waited under the trees until the rain had passed. When it did, I followed the trail that was paved ···
Abolish was a bit stumped. Not with recalling the memory necessarily, although more with the contents.
If Morcant didn't ask him for a rapport, why was he writing one?
...Urgh.
Abolish crumpled up the page he was writing on, throwing away the paper into a corner and taking the fixed rapport from before. Walking out of the library and walking to Morcant's office.
That painting...
It was depicting people he barely knew, their faces relaxed as they stood beside one another.
He wondered why Morcant used to always looked at this painting with such a pained gaze, but that was no longer his problem...he should just give this in so he can stop worrying about the things around him.
Abolish knocked on the door, barely registering any words but knowing he could come in. It's not like Morcant would ever care if you entered or not, as long as he got what he needed in the end. And it just so happened he needed a document that Abolish had in his hand.
Entering and setting the paper on the desk, and swiftly leaving. No words exchanged, just some parchment that was quickly deployed before the man and a door that was shut all too soon.
Abolish didn't know why he couldn't come face-to-face with anybody at the manor anymore.
He...just needed time to adjust...
That's it.
So why was he still so nervous?
... He'll have to try more... concise methods to try and settle his mind, then, considering it doesn't seem like this'll go away with hope and wishes.
...He had to clear some things up, he supposed.
Especially when looking into that mirror and seeing a different reflection from what they knew him as.
Dear former Oakhurst resident(s),
I'm contacting you in hopes you're willing to discuss what occurred during that time and to clear up any confusion between us.
I know that Oakhurst was either a very negative or positive quite the experience, considering everything that happened during that period, but I'd like to hear more from either party. I know that it hasn't been long, but I figured it's best to contact you while the memory is still fresh to discuss what's going on. I hope you're willing to respond back, even if it may seem distressing to do so...In fact, I hoped to even discuss with all of you, but I'm hoping whoever this reaches is willing to meet up at some time — even if it isn't soon.
Forgive me if this seems intrusive, but I hope we can talk sometime. I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything when I had the chance.
Sincerely,
Abolish Veylocke