Chapter Text
Why did the dark have to be so dark?
[PROTAG] already had atrocious eyesight, and now he had to navigate without the help of light. It didn't take two seconds for his friend to yell at him from the other room.
“Newbie!? Are you in there?!” [COWORKER] paused, “...Are you okay…?!”
[PROTAG] rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but feel a little giddy. If he had to bet, the man was scared of the dark. But even if he wasn't, it was kinda cute of him to ask if he was okay. A little thunderstorm never hurt anyone unless that someone happened to be outside or in water. But he'd be fine, especially since he had a very handsome man just a few rooms over. Handsome men made everything better in his humble opinion.
“I'm fine! Just… trying to find my way back.”
Now that he was clean, he could go back into the dining room. And he could also… God, even thinking about what they were gonna do sent a rush of humiliation and excitement through his veins. His heart rate was too fast, even more so from the storm noises and the fear of running into something in the dark. He used memory, touch, and the incentive of intimacy to find his way back to the dining room. He hit his ankle and foot and his hand on the way, too. But it was easier to see the closer he got to the dining room because candles were lit.
Walking into such a place felt like a movie scene. Despite the fact he'd entered the room once before, he felt like he was entering it for the first time again. His heart was hammering, his palms sweaty, his knees weak, and his mind spinning. The room was cast in a beautiful glow, and the sound of hard-hitting rain made the feeling of the whole thing incredible. And when [COWORKER] turned to face him, his eyes sparkled in the light and his skin turned a golden hue.
[PROTAG] felt so far gone.
“Oh, good, you're back. I hate that the power went out. Thunderstorms always come at the worst times. Anyway, come sit down,” his co-worker encouraged with a smile.
The newbie did as [COWORKER] said, giving back a small smile in return to his crush's own. He sat down again awkwardly and put his hands into his lap. The thunder and rain was still loud, making him occasionally flinch or jerk. But the sound was good, since he was sure his heartbeat was so loud that it would be audible if there was no noise to cover it up.
“So…” [PROTAG] started awkwardly. He glanced back down at his food and avoided eye contact heavily. “Do you still want me to…?” he couldn't get the last part of his sentence out, so he just smiled nervously at his plate like it would give him answers.
“Sure. Go for it, sick germ~ Use my fork though,” [COWORKER] specified. He was looking at the newbie with quite a strange look, leaning over the table with his elbow and also leaning close to his friend in addition. Their chairs were practically touching, so what more did it mean if they were even closer than that? That was probably [COWORKER'S] thought process if [PROTAG] had to guess.
He nodded and wiped his hands off discreetly on his pajama pants. Well, not his pants. The other man's pants technically. Then he reached over for the fork and twirled some spaghetti on it. How big of bites did his co-worker eat? The thought made him blush from embarrassment. He didn't know shit. And that only reminded him more of how he was practically ensured to die alone.
[PROTAG] dropped some spaghetti off the fork onto the plate and tried not to shake too much as he went to feed it to the other. The whole thing felt like a badly-acted movie scene. He leaned in and turned to him, only then realizing how close they were. There wasn't even a foot between their legs, and probably not their faces, either. His cheeks heated up, and in the lighting it appeared as though [COWORKER'S] did the same.
You're a grown adult you're fine you're a grown adult you're fine-
The fork touched his co-worker’s rosy, soft, delicate- uhm, lips. [COWORKER] opened his mouth and [PROTAG] fed it to him. [PROTAG] kept the fork there before pulling it out, and his eyes lingered on the man’s lips for far too long. His heart was pounding and his hands were shaking, and he most absolutely couldn't stop staring. His eyes trailed where the food went down his throat. [COWORKER'S] throat was pale with a prominent Adam's apple, and he'd never noticed how… good it looked.
“U-uhm-” [PROTAG] started, his mind all over the place. What kinds of thoughts were these? He wasn't a vampire, and he certainly hadn't thought this way about a girl before.
“... Do… does… u-uhm- uh…”
What to say… what to say… he didn't know.
“It's good.” [COWORKER] mumbled quietly. [PROTAG] looked up and made direct eye contact, his eyes meeting with those beautiful green ones.
He'd never understood the phrase, "they took my breath away." Just breathe, he would think to himself. No one was that beautiful, or that good. And if they were, they had to have been an angel. But here he was, and—oh God, this man took his breath away. Maybe it was the sickness in him. Maybe it clouded his lungs with germs and mucus so he couldn't breathe nearly as much. But maybe, perhaps, he just had been so overcome with feelings.
So overcome that it could make him do something idiotic.
“... I… your eyes look really nice in this light.”
[COWORKER] spoke first, and [PROTAG] didn't know what to say to that. He even used the word “nice” instead of “good,” like he was gonna start quoting Shakespeare. Stupid idiot. Stupid… everything. He was so stupid.
“... You're an idiot.” [PROTAG] murmured quietly with a blush, as though it was a subconscious part of him slipping from between his lips.
He barely blinked and didn't even consider looking away. He was still awkwardly holding the fork in his left hand, and he was still awkwardly shaking as though he was vibrating with excitement. But it wasn't excitement, was it? Why would he have any reason to be excited? He was basically going to Hell, but even if he wasn't, he had no reason to be excited over a guy. Even if the guy was tall, blonde, and his crush. That would be childish.
There was a few seconds of silence before [COWORKER] spoke again. He was never good at keeping his mouth shut.
“For what?” he asked as a small smirk appeared on his face. “For giving a compliment, or for kissing someone who's practically sick with the plague?”
“What-”
And, of course, it goes without saying that if he isn't good at keeping his mouth shut, his lips are almost always open. A shot of confusion went through [PROTAG] before he felt those same pair of lips on his.
It felt like… heaven. If he was going to go to Hell in any way, he'd have to go through heaven. There was a feeling from the top of his head to the tip of his toes that felt like electricity. He was already drunk on it. Sick? No, he wasn't sick. He didn't feel even a little bit sick anymore. He'd been healed entirely, and he'd never be able to go back. There would be no place he could go where he wasn't craving the kind of connection he was feeling in this moment. He was sure of it.
His mind spun when [COWORKER], his co-worker, put his hand onto his cheek. The man was just as warm as [PROTAG] speculated he may be. He didn't know what to do with his hands or limbs; his eyes instinctively closed as if to savor it forever and always, not in the form of sight but in the form of emotion and touch. He could still taste the lingering hint of spaghetti on him. This kiss was the most precious thing he had ever experienced and the one thing he wouldn't trade for the world.
It was silent, save for the sound of a storm and the beating of their hearts. [PROTAG] hadn't ever kissed anyone before. Why should he? But… this… was different. He should. And if he shouldn't, he was.
When they began to pull apart, it was impossible to tell who was more breathless. [PROTAG] looked as though he was gonna faint any moment, and [COWORKER] looked as though his head was spinning. They stared at each other half-lidded eyes before somewhat coming back to their senses.
“...”
“...”
“... I'm… gonna go get some water…”
[COWORKER] stood up and left just like that. In the blink of an eye he had gone away as though taken with the storm. [PROTAG] paid no attention to his footsteps or the thunder outside. He was thinking about what they'd just done… they'd kissed. Oh.
They kissed.
…
That was bad.
[PROTAG] was certain that that was really, really bad. He was gonna die from embarrassment. And if he didn't, he was gonna kill himself. He'd kissed a man. He'd kissed a man and he'd liked it. God, no! The man kissed him and he liked it. Didn't his co-worker like it? He immediately left, so maybe he didn't. What do people usually do? Do they kiss again? Do they never speak again? They probably date, right? Was he ready to date? Was [COWORKER] ready to date? He’d never kissed anyone before! Fuck-
He sat there and bounced his leg as scenario after scenario ran in his head. He'd probably be kicked out onto the street. Or worse, slapped. But was his co-worker really so violent? Probably not, but you never know! The worse case scenario is that he was killed, but that was unlikely. But he did read somewhere about how charming men are more likely to be psychopaths. Did he read propaganda? How was his co-worker taking so long to come back?!
He could still hear the distant sound of thunder and somehow it reminded him of what had just happened. Would it always do that? Everything felt really weird, like it was both hazy and in sharpened focus. Did everyone feel like that? Was he actually going to faint?
When footsteps approached, his eyes snapped up and his heart jumped into his throat. [COWORKER] didn't have any water cup in hand and instead just sat down again. Close. Their chairs were still so close. They had just kissed, but did they really need to be any closer? [PROTAG] had half a mind to scoot his chair back, but he wouldn't move.
“... So… should…” [PROTAG] tried to speak, but words wouldn't come. His eyes darted every which way before landing back onto [COWORKER'S] lips. They were… kissable. Was that a terrible description? Probably not, since he just kissed him. And [PROTAG] got the strongest urge to kiss him again. And, so, he did. Like an itch he had to scratch. Speaking was irrelevant when much more important things could be getting done.
[PROTAG] practically jumped onto the man and put their lips together. Impulsive? No, that wasn't him! At least it wasn't usually him. But right now, he supposed that would be a good description. Kissing someone out of the blue is usually an impulse thing.
He was so surprised when [COWORKER] immediately kissed him back in return. He didn't pause or hesitate or anything. [PROTAG] didn't know how to kiss. The other man did, though, and [PROTAG] copied what he felt. It worked, and the kiss deepened further. His mind went blank. He couldn't even imagine kissing a girl like this. He couldn't imagine kissing anyone like this. Only him. It just made sense.
Once more they pulled away, and once more they were breathless and flushed. [PROTAG] hadn't ever seen his colleague’s face so red, and he felt a nice sense of pride that he'd flustered him. But the shame lingered in the back of his mind, waiting to spill out in apologies or to seep out in isolation.
“... You're gripping me kinda tight, b-bud…” [COWORKER] mumbled.
He looked down to see that he was grabbing the man’s shoulders with much intensity. Wow, the man was toned… that wasn't the point. [PROTAG] let go immediately and he mumbled a terrible apology as he backed up and sat in his own seat.
“... I… I should go,” [PROTAG] mumbled quietly. Where would he go? He didn't have his own car, and the man lived in the suburbs with no taxis around. He could call one, he supposed, but it would take time. He felt a cough clawing up his throat and he pushed it down. His co-worker knew of his sickness, but he still didn't want to seem gross.
“Go… where?” [COWORKER] asked. He still seemed flushed and awkward, but he gave his slightly condescending look as he raised his eyebrows. He also knew the newbie didn't have anywhere to go.
Silence.
[COWORKER] stared at him and sighed quietly. He'd never had such an awkward kiss with someone before. Technically the kiss wasn't the awkward part. The kiss—both of them—was incredible. But the aftermath was… not so good. He looked up and saw [PROTAG’S] very embarrassed and nervous body language. It was cute, he thought. He couldn’t help but think that. The man’s quiet demeanor was half of his charm. It reminded [COWORKER] of when they first met.
He smiled a little bit. Maybe it wasn't really awkward. Maybe it was just [PROTAG]. That was, okay, though, that meant it could be changed. Not permanently, just… resolved for now.
He leaned in and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. His skin was warm with blush and soft. It felt even better under his lips then it did under his hand. When he pulled back, [PROTAG] looked like he might have a stroke.
“You don't have to go anywhere. You can… hangout. That's what you were doing anyway, wasn't it?”
[PROTAG] stared at him and felt speechless. He could stay. He could stay. He could stay here with the man he just kissed. He could stay here with the man he was into! Did that mean he was a good kisser? More importantly, did that mean the man liked him back? A large smile crossed his face.
“Holy shit… fuck yes! Sorry, sorry…!” [PROTAG] cleared his throat while he put his hands up in an apologetic manner. Was this what people felt like when their team won in football? He never watched sports.
[COWORKER'S] eyes widened, but he laughed softly. “Don't worry about it. I know our food's cold, but do you still wanna eat dinner together?”
[PROTAG] nodded enthusiastically. But he paused, and a stark realization hit him. He couldn't resist asking even with the lingering awkwardness in the air.
“Wait… did you invite me to your house so we can… eat dinner? Were you trying to flirt with me?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
He'd been wondering if the man was flirting with him this whole time, and he was completely convinced he wasn't. But now that he was thinking about it, this dinner was oddly romantic. He even lit candles! Which ended up being good, since the power went out. He'd been convincing himself this was a normal dinner, and he thought the romantic undertones were just a one-sided subconscious idea of the non-existent Satan's temptations.
[COWORKER] gave him a curious look back. “I mean, yeah, kinda. I don't like sick people, I just wanted to eat dinner with you. I guess I should've figured out I liked you then, but- ugh, anyway. Weren't you flirting with me this whole time?”
He blinked. “... Was I?”
“You… asked me to touch you?”
“Well- it was a one-off kinda thought.”
“You asked to feed me??”
“That… was, er, also a one-off kinda thought.”
“You kissed me???”
“That's because you kissed me first.”
[COWORKER] stared at him in the most dumbfounded way. He felt like he'd gotten played, yet he also didn't because the man was obviously very enthusiastic about being with him.
(Any person in their right mind would've known that both sides of the party were flirting. Yet, however, it seemed as though both people in this party were idiots.)
“Newbie, I just want you to know… you're the best manipulator I've ever met,” [COWORKER] confessed as he reached over and patted his shoulder with a sigh and a hidden smirk. [PROTAG] was so hot, so smart, and also completely stupid.
[PROTAG] stared at him, confused and unamused. “Well… it's not my fault! You should be more obvious! And all the things I said could be platonic. I wasn't trying to flirt with you!” he scoffed, sitting upright in his seat.
“Obvious? I practically asked you out! You're wearing the clothes that I gave you! I lit up candles and played a love song! How much more obvious could I have been?!” [COWORKER] huffed, his volume increasing. He had half a mind to slap some sense into him.
[PROTAG] rolled his eyes, trying once more to fight down a cough or a sneeze. But he was definitely sounding more nasally now. “If you're gonna kiss me, you should at least know that I don't pick up on hidden-social-clues. This is not a damn investigation.”
He rolled his eyes. “Well, I know now, so…” there was a small pause before he leaned in and kissed him again. It was just too perfect of an opportunity to pass up.
[PROTAG] melted just like both times before, and he relaxed into the kiss. He'd never get tired of it. He'd be counting each and every one, savoring all the moments for as long as they would last.
Their hands held onto each other's faces gently. [PROTAG] made a tiny noise without meaning to. These kisses felt like they lasted forever. He was sure those perfect, fluttery, blissful feelings that happened when they kissed would go away eventually. Until then, he was definitely enjoying the butterflies. Even when they pulled back, there were still butterflies.
[COWORKER] smiled and stared into his eyes. “The light really does make your eyes look good,” he murmured.
[PROTAG] was still slightly annoyed, but it was evaporating. “Your’s too… sweetheart.”
His crush's eyes widened, and he let out a bark of laughter. He, on the other hand, tried his best to will away the blush.
“Aww~ What a cute pet name,” the man said with a grin as he held his face.
“Yeah yeah-” [PROTAG] grumbled. He pulled away and took a bite of his room-temperature spaghetti. It really did taste good. He tried not to think about what he just said or if he wanted to say it again.
“I'd eat my food, too, but you dropped my fork,” [COWORKER] said as he crossed his arms and gave him a look.
What? He paused his eating and sat the fork on the plate, his eyes scanning the room. He looked down by their chairs and saw the fork there. Oh. He'd still been holding it when they kissed the first time… he must've dropped it in shock. He felt himself blush and he just shook his head. Not a word escaped him as he went back to eating.
“We could share forks… but that's a bit much, even for me,” the blonde said with an impish smirk. He stood up and picked up the utensil before going to the kitchen to get a new one. [PROTAG] heard a thump and a yelp of pain. He definitely hit a wall.
He was only left alone eating in the dark for a few more seconds. He heard a buzz and a beep, and the lights turned back on! He had to squint. Wow, that was bright. But at least the power was back. Yet he couldn't resist standing up and flicking off the chandelier light. The candles were a lot more pleasing to the eye, but they were also a lot more romantic. [PROTAG] sat back down and tried to eat. He was interrupted by a sneeze and a sniffle. God, being sick sucked.
It did get him on a date, though… he smiled.
“Fuck my parents,” he murmured under his breath with a grin. He felt guilty for saying such a thing, but he figured it fit the occasion.
“What’d you say?” the man asked as he sat down beside him. The newbie jumped and stuttered over his words.
“Uh- nothing! I was just… talking. To. Myself…?”
[COWORKER] gave him a curious look but nodded. “Okay.”
For the next few minutes they ate in silence. It was impossible to tell if they were eating in silence because it was awkward or because they were trying to resist the urge to kiss each other. Maybe a secret third option. But either way, they ate. [PROTAG] enjoyed his spaghetti and the sound of rain, but most importantly he enjoyed the other's company. It felt so good. It felt so good to be cared for… to be kissed. He'd never known anything like it. His parents barely hugged him, and they rarely ever showed affection.
But this? This was perfect.
The silence was interrupted by [COWORKER] sneezing, and he looked over to see his boyfriend? crush groan.
“Ugh… you definitely got me sick,” he complained with an irritated huff. He took another bite of his spaghetti and gave the man a side eye.
[PROTAG] looked over at him, and he couldn't help the small smirk that appeared on his face. The guy looked very cute even when he was grumpy. But he also felt oddly happy with the idea that the man was sick because of him. It meant they were close enough (of course they were close enough—they kissed!) to spread germs. And [PROTAG] knew very well that he was addicted to the man’s touch and proximity. Now that they'd kissed, he didn't have to keep denying the obvious. Even though he still wasn't fully ready to admit some things to himself.
“Worth it though, right?” he asked with a teasing tone.
[COWORKER] hesitated, going quiet as he swallowed his food. But then he smiled, leaning in and murmuring one last thing before they kissed for the fourth time yet.
“Worth it.”